So I just wrote a Ruby script to encrypt some files in AES.

I started it, it's designed to show the key when it's finished. It encrypted 7 files, then Kaspersky pops up and deletes my entire Ruby installation.

okeh

Wrote a nodejs script which reads emails from my college searching for keywords like free, food, and refreshments. When it finds one of those it notifies me that free food is somewhere on campus.

Necessity is the mother of invention

"Jabba the Script" that's how my girlfriend calls JavaScript.

A guy on another team who is regarded by non-programmers as a genius wrote a python script that goes out to thousands of our appliances, collects information, compiles it, and presents it in a kinda sorta readable, but completely non-transferable format. It takes about 25 minutes to run, and he runs it himself every morning. He comes in early to run it before his team's standup.

I wanted to use that data for apps I wrote, but his impossible format made that impractical, so I took apart his code, rewrote it in perl, replaced all the outrageous hard-coded root passwords with public keys, and added concurrency features. My script dumps the data into a memory-resident backend, and my filterable, sortable, taggable web "frontend"(very generous nomenclature) presents the data in html, csv, and json. Compared to the genius's 25 minute script that he runs himself in the morning, mine runs in about 45 seconds, and runs automatically in cron every two hours.

Optimized!

I have my own secret script hidden in a /batcave dir on the production servers. It fixes everything the other devs usually manage to screw up.
I call it Batman.bat

Colleague: "What is a pl file?"

Me: "Oh thats a perl script"

Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"

Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"

Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"

Me:" -_- what year is this ??"

My boss has a camera in the office for "security" reasons and I happen to be just right under it, exposing my computer screens to it. So I wrote a script that sends me an email whenever the camera port is accessed.

And that's why my friend has rewritten a script 4 times now

I just spent 20m debugging.

Basically bootstrap nav wasn't working. Couldn't understand why not.

Figured out its a an issue with the JS interfering so I remove the script reference from my HTML. Problem solved.

Okay,cool. Now let's add that file back in and figure out what caused the issue.

Hm. This line looks like it might be it *comments it out*...odd. Problem still happens.

*proceed to comment out and test every function to see what could be causing this issue*. Still happens. Fuck it. *comments the entire file out*

what the fucking fuck. I remove the script reference the problem is gone. I remove all code from the script - problem persists.

...wait...are you fucking kidding me. I OPENED THE WRONG JS FILE WITH THE SAME NAME BUT IN A DIFFERNT DIRECTORY.

I know that my coworker can't write a single fucking operable line of code. So I wrote a script that is called everytime someone pushes new commits. If the commits contain the username of my coworker, create a ticket in YouTrack with the Label "Rewrite", and assign it to the files changed.
So I had that running for a longer time, and my dumbfuck of coworker hardcoded the credentials of the server in a networking library. One of the credentials was his username. He then updated the copyright on the whole project(which adds a copyright in the top of every file), also in the included librarys(!). The script had a check if the files are related to the project or just librarys. In the end, he pushed all of that with another account(in fact, a reporter account), which had another name(and didn't even belong him). So the files didn't belong to the project, the script sees his username anyways, the script assigns a rewrite, and in the end, everyone in the team thinks I'm mad because I(the script with my account) assigned a rewrite to a HUGE library.

PS: It was great fun to remove these copyright notices.

I just had the most intense nerdgasm of my life.

So I'm learning NodeJS (11/10, super fun, totally recommend) and I already had a chat script written up but it was only available to my LAN. Im hosting it using my Raspberry Pi Zero, which is surprisingly fast, and obviously sips power. Anyways, I FINALLY figure out port forwarding (Comcast made things harder, as per usual) and for the first time in my young life, I chatted with someone half way across the country... Using the hardware I set up, running the script I wote, on the network I configured.

I could have sworn I was drooling.

Today was a good fuckin day.

Random Person: *looks at my screen as I’m writing a short pointless script* Oh! Are you coding?
Me: Yes.
R: Oh! I code as well!
M: Cool, what languages do you know?
R: Uh, English?

...

Well, I did it.

I spent 45 minutes writing my first hacky, shell-and-python automation script to save me 15 seconds every morning.

*1 week into dream job*

Me: I need to communicate this variable to a script running in another thread, how do you normally handle that?

My Lead: oh, just add it as a global variable

Me: oh no...

After countless Google searches for the past 3 years, I've written a small script to get my internal & external IP addresses with one command!

So I was taking a Linux class in college. I knew Linux pretty good at this point but it was a required course for my degree. I found some other people who were programmers in other languages like python and C and we just fucked around the whole semester. End of semester is coming up and the teacher poses a problem: write a bash script to do this complex thing that bash isn't the best language. But it's a Linux class. Everyone is typing away while the four of us are stunned, having no clue. So we did the only reasonable thing: write a bash script which echos a full python script to achieve it into a file, run that python script, then delete it. We submitted first and got extra credit. She threw it up on the projector as an "extrodinary example" of a good script, having not looked at it. She complimented us profusely, never turning around or reading it.

Client: Only an question: do you have a service to optimize my php skripts ?
Me: What kind of script are you referring and what kind of framework?
Client: Yes

Every programming language I know of does trigonometry in radians.

Yet I have been puzzled for 4 hours whether JS was broken because it kept saying Math.sin(30) != Math.sin(150), trying all kinds of values, looking up basic trigonometry stuff again and again.

After that, 10 minutes of wondering why my json was invalid... right, you can't comment things out.

Then 15 minutes being baffled by a simple script tag not working, because I wrote script href instead of script src.

Finally, I threw a liter of chocolate milk over a $400 keyboard.

I really need to stop setting up new projects at 3am.

Presenting my genious automation script :D :D :D

Some Romanian "Hacker" is trying to hack my forum xD

He tried to call the setup script for PhpMyAdmin, but I don't even have PhpMyAdmin installed because I use MongoDB xDDD

I'm lying on the floor laughing

Working on adjusting a shell script to my needs.

The fucker quits execution after an apt update command is ran.

No reason, it just fucking quits. No error messages or whatever, nothing.

This script can go suck a cock.

if i learned one thing from my internship it's "Just do it".

I always wanted to master parallax but didn't dare to. My boss then forced me into learning it. I made my own parallax script that day.

Tried to modify a script again which pretty much installs a ready to use vpn server on a server.

Tried to modify it so that it takes arguments instead of manual input.

It is, fucking, yet again, quitting right after an apt install command.

Error exit code? Oh no, a perfectly fine fucking 0. Which means it ran successfully.

Successfully my fucking ass. You aren't even through half the motherfucking script!?

Fucking hell. Fuck my life sideways.

Worst coding mistake would be me dropping an entire table of customer names because I forgot to double check the table name in the script. I felt my soul leave my body.

Spent 3 hours making a script that saves me 15 seconds every half an hour. Hmm not my best choice.

Anyone here put Easter eggs in their code, and care to share examples?

I made a custom script to rotate a log file once a day in my program. So at the bottom of the roll I added a nice little print. See attached.

I have a college that never seems to answer anything fully, just the bare minimum to make it seem like he did.

Regular conversations with him goes like this:

Me: “hey, I have a problem with this feature you added, I’m getting an error *insert error*”
Him: “yeah theres a script for that...”

Me: *wait for the script he mentioned*

Me: “whats the script?”
Him: “it’s FixIssues.sh”

Me: *looks for the script in the project*

Me: “hey, I can’t find it, where is it?”
Him: “here it is” *pastes a script into chat*
Me: “Oh, where can i find that in the project?”
Him: “you can’t”
Me: “???”
Him: “I have it in my OneDrive”

WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? Why this song and dance every time I ask something? This conversation could have been over in 1 minute but instead we both have to waste 15 minutes of our time to get this far.

Interviewer: What is your strength and weakness in terms of technology?
Me: My strength is Java and my weakness is Java Script.
Interviewer: Hmm Ok... then let me ask you questions only related to JS.
Me : (face palm) 😳

I automated the process of downloading songs from YouTube and transferring them to my phone.

This is how it works, very simple:
- I have a youtube playlist in which I add songs that I'd like to download
- When I run my python script, it parses my playlist and checks to see if I have added any new songs that aren't already downloaded
- Uses a library to download MP3 for all the songs I want to download
- Transfers all those MP3 files to a designated folder that is tracked by Google Music manager
- Google Music manager syncs those songs to my phone and downloads them for offline playback

That's it 😎 No need for YouTube Red

I'm going to run this script 24x7 on a Raspberry Pi, so everytime I add a new song to the playlist, script starts it's job without me running the script manually.

Boss asked me to make a script to automate some tasks. After some days i found out that my task will replace the job of one of our colleagues.
Now the *script, that looks like a big project, is almost done.
Feel for the guy.

So after my phone got stolen I am now using a series30 Nokia device, problem was synching contacts dumped from Google contacts. Run a Python script that modified the vcf into a format compatible with the series 30, never felt more of a hacker man than this

My sex life:

<script>

$(document).ready(function(){
})

</script>

I’m the embodiment of lazy...

I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.

Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.

Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).

Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫

11:45pm
I better go brush my teeth and do all my other things, to be safely and happily in bed with plenty of time to get a good night's sleep.

11:52pm
I am done doing those things. I sit back down in front of the computer to start closing apps to shut it down.

11:53pm
I get an idea to write a script to more effectively launch my remmina sessions with keywords in my keyboard launcher. It will take about ten minutes to write.

2:07am
The script is pretty much done, and I've done 37 quizzes on jetpunk.

Aight i thought the java/script thing was a meme but for the past 20 minutes a dudes been looking at my js code, consistently calling it java

Given how much I'm asked to fix my family's computers, I think I'm just going to write a script that shows a "Now fixing..." message and just restarts their system and router.

Working for a company that micro manages, my boss asked me to build a script that calculates hours employee is not on his seat through camera feeds.
Received a mail today that my first weeks deficit are 7 hrs.

The following is written in Latin, German, and English, and is written in a custom script called "VuetendScriptor" aka "MadScript".

Translation as follows:

Hello devRant!
I am very happy to announce my new script "MadScript". I am so happy right now! I have wanted to do this for a long time! Thank you everyone for your help! I could not have done this without you!

Right now working on my devrant calmifier script to detect mid-rant capslocks and matched the wrong group, turned out to be a jokifier instead 🤣

No joke, my boss told me to change the name of my Python script

HR: I’m sure you know what this meeting is about

Dev: My script that converts the name of our 3rd party IT provider in any email thread I reply to with “PooPoo Inc.”?

HR: No, that is a separate meeting

Dev: Ah.

When the university finds out you're a pentester:

Usual underclassmen: Can you hack my bf/gf? I think they're cheating on me.

Delusional underclassmen who think they know everything: I can hack too! Who's your master? I learned how from master jimmy *runs a batch script that has "tree" on loop. See? What batch script do YOU have?"

The IT teachers: can you show us how a payload works?

When I wrote a script to automate my commits to SVN... And then used that script to commit itself.... Pure bliss :)

Dear sweet merciful Lord, my API is WORKING! OMG! I take back everything bad I said about PHP. Turns out the connection to the database was causing the script not to run. I'll figure out why later but poor sweet PHP, is innocent.

I was going through random old files of mine and ran an old prank script that made my screen black and played the clicking sound a fucked hardisk makes.

My heart fell out my asshole and I rebooted before I remembered I have a solid state. FML. 🤦‍♂️

I spent four hours just getting my dev environment working again today.

Whenever I switch branches on this project, I keep to run a script that does migrations, seed data, test db setup, static test info, etc. etc. etc. It takes 12-15 minutes to run.

Today, that script failed.

Apparently one of its steps requires running some of the project's code to produce valid objects. Makes sense. However, my ticket involves breaking a crapton of models (removing accessors) which I've already done, and then patching the behavior, which I haven't. Which means a lot of things are currently broken. Makes sense why the script fails.

However, I can't run the script on a different branch and then switch back because that simply doesn't work (for reasons), so I needed to find some workaround. I eventually did, but every attempt cost me 12 minutes.

Today was not fun, and certainly not productive.

I wonder when they're going to fire me 😅

Life at work these days:

Manager: we’re not getting enough done
My calendar: 1/3 week filled with scheduled meetings

Manager: we need to use ChatGPT intensively. We'll go a lot faster.
Me using ChatGPT to get it to write an automation script: 2 hours wasted with no success
Me starting again from scratch to write the script: 15 minutes to achieve the desired result.

Thanks for your advice boss

Node.JS is great sometimes. Here is my HTTP(s) server script, which is 117 generously spaced lines, including a small database of MIMEs, which serves raw files OR allows you to set up request handlers like the one you see here.

Very, super happy with the outcome.

Today I was continuing my Ruby script for file encryption.

I added some features like Picture Encryption and Bookmarks.

Then I tried to start it to make sure it doesn't fuck up.

ruby PGCrypt.rb

No changes reflected.

w0t.jpg

Start debugging

Browses SO and DDG like a maniac

Reinstalls Ruby

Guess what happened.

My shell was in the wrong folder and I ran the old testing script.

GRAAAAAHHHH

So... Been making a script so that my tmux layout on my tty only hard drive displays the weather.

Apparently there is a place called 'Shit' in the world, and there's some 'Patchy rain possible' in 'Shit'.

'Shit' also seems to be 15 °C, and have 3km/h winds. Not sure which direction, but I hope nowhere near my house.

Built a PowerShell script to keep my status “Active” all day. Appearing productive is what’s important!

Recently wrote a script that would check 2 years worth of images, crop them, and resize to different sizes as changes to front end required those.

Eventually the script went into an infinite loop and crashed the whole CMS.
The worst part was that my manager was on a date and I had to call him back into office, since his laptop was still at the office.

The actual problem wasn't the loop.. I forgot to check if file actually exists before cropping... Error log size was 10gb!

The same code works in the console but not in my script. Freaking hell.

Thanks, Capybara.

I just made a script to fix my company's site! I love programming!

Dream Project?

A script that remotely destroys all fax machines used by my clients so that they are forced to use vFax/fax2email/emailing their fucking PDF, etc.

A few years i had wrote a little script as a proof of concept for remote injection via torrent files.

Yesterday, some doofus bruteforced into my seedbox and tried to install a miner using the same script🤦🤦🤦

Did some digging, found my way back to him and wiped the drives on his system as a gesture of thank you. Anyways, I hope he didn't have anything important on his 16TB volume, cause good luck recovering that

So today one of my client told me that my script is freezing their website on IE browsers. I tested and told them that website is being freezed even without my script.
Now they sent me analyzed scenario and they concluded that it freezes 4 out of 10 times without script. But it freezes 12 out if 15 times with script -_-. So there is something really wrong with the script and I need to fix it urgently otherwise they will kick me out. #fuckedupLogic
Funny thing is that same script is loaded in so many other client's website and it doesn't freeze any shit.

I opened a ticket earlier with my automated ticket script, and saw its number, so I couldn't resist.

<!DOCTYPE html>
<head>
<title>hiCloudflare</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" src="main.css" />
</head>
<body>
<h1> Don't mind me, just taking my buffers for a walk</h1>
<script type=

Ahahaha

More of a suprise.

Just by error double clicked on WINDOWS machine on a BASH (.sh) script.

Welp, some randon bash processor appered and script was executed correctlly.

I almost shit my pants, it's a script which changes production env.

I was expecting a notepad lol

Soo many java script hate posts! Not one post goes by where i thank god that I'm not a front end developer!

PS - I let my intern work on the the UI of my application :P He is on devrant. I hope he sees this! Hehe.

Since the past 7 months I was working on a project coded in C++ and shell script.

Today I was shifted to a project where I'm required to code in JavaScript and SQL.

I can't differentiate between my head and a scrambled egg.

Work enforced a screensaver policy - a corporate screensaver that even us local admin devs can't change.
I swiftly made a .reg script and distributed it.
We all laugh whenever someone's "Ribbons" screensaver starts up.
I love using my powers for evil.

Writing a script to do my job

My last day before vacation, Friday after hours,
Me as a Junior dev, not that experienced with bash.
An unfortunately with root on a prod machine.
I wrote a script and wanted it to stop at a specific point, but couldn’t remember which of those cmd it was so I wrote all of them.
Quit
Close
Stop
Halt
Exit

Ran the script.
Wanted to kill myself.
I haven’t had the privs to turn on the VM again.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🤦🏽‍♂️
I definitely learned a lot!

Nothing like a SQL Script failing and fucking up an important Database right before my christmas vacation...

Getting bored in quarantine. A few days ago I wrote a script for the chrome dino to jump in PC while I jump holding my phone. Any more fun ideas guys ?

Bitch, I won't even open my editor for $15, how dare you propose me to edit a script for that?

*uses java and c# for a few months without touching GML or my custom script language*

*Jumps back in after said few months*

Oh god I miss OOP, please give it back!

On chat today.
Dude: can you run a script for me? We don't have permission.
Me: what kind of script? Who wrote it?
Dude: posts screenshot of DML select/update statement he tried to run.
Me: I'm a DBA. We don't run DML for people.
Dude: Oh. Can you give me the password?
Me: examine script and notice he tried to run it on QA DB.
Me: No. We don't memorize passwords, and this is QA; you need to check the password out of the safe. You also need a change ticket to DevOps, and they will run it for you.

At that point I ended the discussion, because running anything in QA or Prod without a change ticket gets you fired. And I like my job. Really annoyed.

Oh fuck.... someone in my group decided to write a script and place it on boot of the system.

As soon as I turn on the system , a script was automatically running in the background which override all rows in all tables of the database that's says "I fucking quit"

As a freelancer, I witness shit like this all the time.

These script kiddies fuck with my error metrics! I want 0 !

I swear I'll find them! Even enabled IP log for every request contain “.php”.

Needless to say, app is not even in PHP and PHP isn’t even present on server

Chrome blocks sites on my company intranet because the HTTPS is unsecured...

But let's a rogue JS script run that completely freezes my computer and prolly it's damaging my HD and RAM....

I had to do a forced shutdown.... I've never done that in YEARS

So my company set up environment for docker and bablabla manually . WHAT? and a new employee took 2 weeks to configure everything.

So I decided to do some automation, a script to auto cnfigure, download , blablabla, all the new guy have to do is run the script (regardless of OS) and that save two weeks time. Everything configured just took 4 hours (the project is 3 GB) automatically.

omg

After hours of debugging my js script, I finally found out that all my trouble came from a variable that contained the string “true“ instead of a boolean value. I kinda hate javascript now...

Yay !!
Sleep no more with my ultimate awakinator ! (Which is a python script
That wakes up the system and plays alarm till I enter 'ok I'm awake' , then he'll play a video form YouTube channels I defined)

Awesome !!! ^ ^

So I have a script that runs every time I turn on my PC. The script copies a few files to a ftp server in my basement. Forgot to turn off logging....

Opend the file in Notepad, and would you look at that, 1 GB of ram..? WTF?

Edit: Managed to open the file, turns out that it's been exactly one year since I started using the script.

Just lost my shit with a colleague which went for the Nth time "Oh MaN tHiS sCrIpT sUcKs So BaD".

Dude, I wrote the thing in 5 days, and back when I did I had no experience whatsoever with JS -or with programming at all, for that matter. It was pretty much my first project and I was as green as it can possibly get.

And yet, that script served us well for well over a year and a half without being touched once. It always worked for everything you could possibly want. Shut your mouth or do it yourself, buddy.

There goes a week of work. I accidentally overwrote my Node server, in production, with a client script, without backups.

As I imagine most of you do, I have a prettier plugin installed in my IDE. It just turned a 1000 line sql script into almost 6000 lines 🙃

Every time I tell someone my major they respond the same way: “I know your job prospects look good! I need my computer fixed right now...”

Yeah, let me write you a script real quick that will fix the screen you busted when yo sat on your laptop.

I've been thinking of a script that when my work colleague writes "warm regards" at the end of an important email to clients, it adds "luke" to the front of it. Thoughts?

THE CODE USED IN MY MANDATORY ONLINE TRAINING ABOUT CYBER SECURITY AND STUFF LIKE THIS:

<script>window.showQuestion(someOverlyVerboseResponseFromTheServerWithTheCorrectAnswersMarked);
</script>

Oh boi it would be a real shame if someone proxied your precious function :)

Following on from my school having terrible passwords. Turns out they stored all our passwords in plain text somewhere - so some script kiddie (Do you even need to be a script kiddie to find this - probably not, but the guy who did this was a script kiddie) could just remote log me out twice, log in as me, be a twat, and have a conversation in Notepad.

I got VB script blocked from all the computes in high school

I had a laptop to do my work in class on (my handwriting is terrible, dyslexia and other things) and I was playing around with VB script making a little text adventure game with dialog boxes because I was bored, it got quite long and I was happy with it but then one day when I tried to open the file it said the network administrator had blocked this type of file from being opened... Spoilsports

Best: Writing my first bash script, understanding Object Oriented programming

Worst: Dealing with team members who claim to have work experience but in reality have no clue why they are doing what they are doing

Just spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out why my page would raise a blob not found in the console, then finally checked the actual origin script headers and saw this, fuck.. I should go sleep.

I was asked to check something today that was handed over on a USB stick. "Could you check that the file structure is correct". Of course I said. Then I prepared my camera, changed the insides of the stick to my rubber ducky, wrote a little script and uploaded it. Oh yea and corrected the structure.

The face of the colleague was priceless when I brought back the stick and he sticked it right into his computer.

The script was roughly:
- open browser
- open history
- search "porn"
- select second row
- enter

=D office pranks <3

I just received an email from a weird company they wanted to offer me 150 dollars monthly to insert a script in my google chrome extension, when I asked about the script they sent me a function called "malmare"...
...
Nice...

This was actually written by a Junior of mine (and if it wasn't for me having to review it, it would have made it to production):
- Admi password was just an MD5 in the javascript.
- Javascript would validate the password input.
- Javascript would then send a POST request to a PHP script.
- On display, the HTML of the news article wasn't HTML escaped.

My brain: "Let's just send this XSS vector to this PHP script"

My first script in Python.

It's amazing how it is simple manipulate spreadsheet data.

I'm a PHP developer and the same task would require ton of line codes.

Best hack... Think it was in high school when I figured out the eurobate free sms api was exposed and with my own php script could send as many free sms as I wanted and sms nuke friends.
Sms cost quite a lot pr message back then.

YEEEEEESS! FINALLY!!!!
After 4 days trying to find why my build script was showing an error! I finally fixed it!

I still doesn't work, but, hey, it's not the same error message!

Searching a bug in my script.

Okay, so I have to write a script that will get user data from an AD, additional information from an XML, combine those two to get boss user relationship and output that mess into an excel sheet.
Oh, and both sources are ofc completely inconsistent. So I need full error handling on everything.
Aaaaaaand I have to write it in VB script... Using np++... Without plugins...
I hate my life!

My favorite home-written script is `sudo thermonuke` which basically kills all the proliferation of Chrome tabs I've opened, as well as kills every other app I leave open on my desktop carelessly. It's a bit brash, but nuke and pave baby. Nuke and pave.

I resumed a screen session to check why my script had stopped, then this happened

The amount of times I've had to setup Linux distros because I can't stick to one. I've just ended up writing a script that will set up all my softwares etc now because it's that tedious to remember what I use.

I’m on a screen share watching an offshore associate copy code from my email to the target script...

... by switching back and forth between windows and typing in the code...

Is COPY-PASTE a little too advanced for this team???

I've written a script that logs my time tracker information into my timesheet at work and its fucking fantastic, so simple yet so satisfying. I needed to tell someone

Made a little script which changes times to all computers and connected devices over network and reset when I login to my workstation when am late so I don't have to explain myself

One of my fellow mate wants to run a python script on a click of button doesn’t understand the concept of web frameworks and it can’t be just with HTML

Either CloudFlare itself has decided to join the fun of attacking my DNS server, or somebody is just spoofing their IP in the UDP packets.
Crap, my ipset script is basically useless now, since the real source could be from anywhere :(

Any suggestions on what could I do to make this attack stop? It's not causing any real issues (at least for now), but it's still annoying as hell.
Get fucked, stupid skiddie who keeps manually changing the ip source in his script

Watching the logs go by whilst waiting for my CRON script be like...

My Unix class
👨‍💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script

Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!

I hate it every single time my boss says: Don't we have a script for that?

Maybe in he imagination we have everything automated so anything I want to do I just need to press a button. And that's why he thinks me slacking?

It all starts with a small regex script to automate my coding session. Now I start to automate every shit I used to hate (without notice it).

Where was Python all my life. Where was it when I have to configure my server, run integration tests or benchmark all by myself. The past was really scary 😂

> Am writing code
> Life is good
> Add debugger keyword
> Script pauses
> Type in var name... Undefined.
> ...What?
> Check out local scope. It's there. What the fuck?
> Add console.log(myVariable)
> Refresh
> Logs variable no problem. Cool.
> Type in my var name
> Undefined

FFFUUUUUUU-

If only I could write script to cook my food and wash my cloth.

Just found out that my script is creating duplicate data on standalone applications that are on the field already :)
Time for a coffee break.

I have found a website that allows HTML in comments. They blocked <script>, but not <iframe>. I can just load a script from my personal website using it. What should i do?
(something innocent)

Was wondering why my script wasn't working. Added it to my node modules. Imported the style sheet with a require. Checked the gulp config file. Made sure it was in my pipeline. Checked my webpack settings and made sure jquery was loaded first. Checked my version on npm, crossed referenced with my package.json file. Why isn't it working....forgot to add the script tag in my html😤

my colleague had to send 50 semi individualized emails and started to do one after another. i quickly wrote a script to prepare the emails to be set up with a few clicks. she was impressed and thankful before proceeding to finish the task by hand.

So glad my script still works

I am learning about CI/CD and DevOps, and i finally made my first build/deploy/unit test script.

I use arch btw

After each correct answer I get for my Java Script Course

I completed my 4 pull requests for hacktoberfest and guess what all of them got approved. Yayyy!!

So these are the issues which I fixed in hacktoberfest2019.

1. Fixed readme of imba
2. Fixed the script of devTea
3. Added screenshots for the same (2)
4. Helped a friend with a blockchain script.

Thanks a lot!! @devTea, for giving me the chance.

Next weeks rant theme should be worst dev day.
Any how today I fucked up at a whole new level. First ran a script thinking I am deleting my local dev environment.

*An Eternity later*

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkk

That dreaded script ran on main dev server and fucked up the server used by a team of 15+ teammates. Dead.

Specs: script adds extra files to zip, take the part out that adds the extra files to the zip
Me: *takes out the part that adds the adds the extra files to the zip, tests & ships to production*
Boss: Nooooo, I wanted the remaining bits added to this other script!!
Me: ...

I mean, she admitted that she made faulty specs but it still doesn't make it any less irritating and annoying and disrupting to my autistic brain. >:C

Company started automated testing recently, and the devs need to review the test scripts.

The tester assigned to my component writes script to trigger button click and nothing else to verify the result.

I couldn't​ even. I just left work for the day.

My goal for 2019 is to write an efficient neural network library with streams and make it very very very customizable. I'll write in C#, cause fuck python script kids. My idea is to make a cool platform for new ideas

So we released to production today (Friday), not my decision.
All pages work fine expect for the one page which I added a new feature.
It worked fine in Chrome and Edge. But after release a customer who requested the feature said it doesn't work for him. Screenshot showed he was using IE.
Horror time.. it was evident that it has to be the changes to the JavaScript I did, but why does the whole page doesn't work.

So I started debugging. Nothing works on that page in IE11, it doesn't even load the fucking script file. Then I dared to change mode to IE10, it actually gave me an error in my script file. The bad IE has actually picked a mistake that other browsers didn't.

So, the mistake is fun part too.
I had the following jQuery (or Jake Weary) call
$.getJSON(
'/url',
{
argA: a, argB, b, argC:c
},
function (){
// did something
}
);

In second argument, I accidentally typed comma instead of colon. Chrome and Edge ran the script perfectly passing all the arguments.IE 11 failed to load script without giving any error and only IE 10 gave an error of expecting a colon.
I do not know which browser to blame.

PS I didn't try in Firefox, safari, etc.

I’m on a screen share watching an offshore associate copy code from my email to the target script...

... by switching back and forth between windows and typing in the code...

Is COPY-PASTE a little to advanced for this team???

I fucked up. I used the shebang line #!/usr/bin/env python3 in a script that was being ran every 5 minutes with a cron job. This generated an email to a system that dropped a file for processing and sent an age email for each file every minute. Because the Linux OS generated emails didn’t contain a keyword the script closed by design but I forgot to uncomment the delete temp file line. This started on Wednesday before a 4 day weekend. By the time I got in on Monday I was 40GB over my email quota and receiving 2500 emails a minute. I fixed the script and stopped the emails but down I have to clear out those emails. Here it is Wednesday and I am deleting 1 MB every 3 seconds. This is painful.

I left my computer on to finish running a script a script while I took a nap. Just woke up but its still not done....

Why? Because I used a || instead of an && ...

I'm doomed.

My first production worker script is making multiple active attribute of a user. My script should be able to deactive the old attributes if there is new one.

Months ago, this issue occured. My teammate from team A take over the script to investigate since I am busy working with team B.

Yesterday, I found out that I, myself, overwrite the fix my teammate made for that because of a new feature.

I have to clean up the affected records on production on Monday..and i have to explain to my manager. T.T

LPT: ALWAYS PULL REPO before developing new feature...

In the third month at my first job, a batch processing script I wrote DDOS'ed my company's API servers on a saturday and caused hours of client-facing issues

I really have to clean the house...
On the other hand... I really have to finish my native script app...

After 3 days of code, i fanlly have my script for scribus. Life is easy now ! #PAO

About two weeks ago I had a cyber security competition. I spent a week or so working on a bash script so I didn't have two spend hours and hours on end doing tedious tasks to get points.

So here comes competition day and I have about 12 or so scripts that I predicted to get 60 or so of the 100 points. I open the competition image, grab my scripts, and run my call script (script that calls all the other scripts). Maybe 15 minutes later, the script is done...

ZERO FUCKING POINTS. I double checked all the files that the scripts configured and all of them worked. But NONE the vulnerabilities that my script fixed were vulnerabilities that the scoring report counted. Instead of me taking 20 to 30 minutes on the image it took my and 1:07... doesn't sound like much but the highly competitive people finished in around 1 hour and the people who just didn't give a shit about Linux took 3 hours...

Luckily... I was put onto the highly competitive team after that and it all worked out... I'll hopefully add more to this script before next competition.

Nowadays for my responsibilities all am thinking is maybe I can write a script for that

<html> <script> alert("Hello World"); </script> </html>
This will be my first line of code which is actually being used by users.

But is HTML it even code?

i built a script to auto-update my cv and republish every time i visit a website that mentions a technology not currently on my resume.

This made my day: (Translation: In reality the earth is a star with 12 spikes and generated by this css script.

Our teacher who teaches us Linux doesn't even know how to run shell script. Every time we ran into the problem he is like you should solve by it yourself. Most of his lectures seems nonsense to me and looks like I'm wasting my time and money

Currently working on a Selenium script to do my timesheet for me. It's been 30 minutes and it still doesn't work because I'm having trouble selecting the input fields correctly (the ID's are dynamic and keep changing!)

It takes me 30 seconds to do it manually.

Normal colleagues pick the right slack channel and post a message there.

My colleague picks a random channel that has no relation to dev at all and posts a question/request there.

He must be using a random script to pick the next channel name :D

99 little bugs in my script. 99 little bugs. Spend a whole night, fix one with might, 113 MORE bugs in my script.

I just built my first bash script in nano, and I feel like I'm in the seventies. Absolutely loving it.

Just discovered my little devrant april fools inspired binary tampermonkey script made it onto the devrant awesome list 😊

I think i just broke my seagate wireless hard drive. I wrote a script to copy everything from / to /media/sda2/sys but now the drive is not spining up

We had to add licensing to a program of us. In the end we chose a small java-library for that and i wrote a convenience script that creates a valid license.
But the script got its input from static strings and that was its doom.

My boss cloned the repo with the script (and jars), replaced the strings with real world data and pushed.
For his conveinience, because there were several clients, he copied the data-section, commented out the first one and put another data into the second section. This happened a few times and HE PUSHED AGAIN.

Now this repository contains a fine record of everyones licenses and their passwords. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it still gets my eye twitching, just like md5-hashing on passwords (which actually happens on that licensed project)

I did my biggest mistake of my coding life today (I've been coding for two months).
I did a program in my coding class. I said to myself : "I will try when it will be done". After 3 hours of coding, I finished the code. I tried it and... almost all of my script was trash. Best feeling ever.

I was having fun with GPIO recently. Now I have an RGB LED flashing in my room when my alarm clock starts ringing.

Android App sending HTTP Request when Alarm has been triggered, php starts a bash script (was too lazy to do it in php). Bash script does its job for 10 seconds.

Someone else hates his notebook because of the fucking low battery capacity? From 100% to 7% in about 40 minutes and all I did was editing a Python script and tested it using the bash..

Can't wait until I get my new laptop

Fucking MySQL workbench won't even tell me what's wrong with my PL/SQL script. It has no output whatsoever. I click the run button and its like "y'all say sum?"

Why are all tools for SQL development so shit. All the time.

I’m either going crazy or someone just dropped a table from a database I’m actively working in. I don’t have a drop script for any tables in my code, not anywhere. One moment it’s right there, the next it’s gone? Luckily it’s pretty much empty, only generic data. On my way to check permissions.

I guess my automation script just broke Quora

How did I end up looking how to write asynchronous function in shell script whereas my task is to write a distributed chat app in Node.JS ?

Damn this is going to be complicated.

Trying to code a Chrome extension with Native messaging so that it can communicate with my python script. Just kill me.

Can't even get the example from Google to install correctly.

FML

How would you go about writing ES6 in your node applications? I'm using nodemon together with babel-core/register and then using a shell script on my server to build it.

What my colleagues think I do: draining their coffee machine
What my.boss thinks I do since a week: downloading a script
What my family thinks I do: repairing computers
What I actually do: browsing social media

Hey everyone. I am a freshman in college studying Cyber Security. I have been practicing various programming languages such as httml, css, java script and SQL. Does anyone have any recommendations for resources to study? My end goal is to be blue teaming for my schools Cyber Defense team in the fall.

I really liked the Mojang API. I've told this story before but my first real project was a Python script that ran through all of the words in the dictionary looking for "OG" names that were available

Today I wasted 3 hours writing a script on a python for a girl. That time was supposed to be used for my job. I should find a girlfriend soon 😂😂😂 this habit is killing me.

!rant

Accomplishments of today:

- Wrote a small battery level script for my polybar config to print "AC" as battery level if the battery is removed, rather than having it continue to display the level the battery was at when I removed it (how the polybar module does by default)

- Small bluetooth detector script (checks if bluetooth is on or off, and if it's connected to anything)

- Wrote another script to turn my screen's backlight off when the lid closes and back on when it opens again (literally just finished this one maybe 5 minutes ago)

- Finally fixed an issue with the volume level module on my polybar config, where it increments in levels of 5%, but it would always be on like 94 or 89, rather than 95 and 90 (weird to explain)

Pretty accomplished with myself, they were all minor differences that most people wouldn't really think about, but I'm happy about them.

🎶 If you're struggling and you know it write a script
If you're existentially hanging from a cliff
If you need something to bug on
And you have noone left to hug on
If you're crazy and you know it write a script

If the data fails the schema compensate
Otherwise your script will fail till iterate
If the datas html and you're in xml he'll
Because my son your script it cannot break

If your repeats you normalize
You make some lookups just to stay alive
When morons steal the world's purpose
And walk around like fucking robots
My son find find sonething on which to fix your eyes
🎶

I had this problem where I needed to make a script that took two values, and from that printed what card was faulty in a pretty large system.

As the script language is horrible, I could not be bothered to manually write over 3000 if-statements I proceeded to write a program that writes code for me, based on a export of all the cards.

There are few things I have experienced in my life that compares to the satisfaction of seeing my own program produce many thousands of lines of code in a few seconds.

I uploaded my first Python script to Github but how do i get ppl to notice it :O

Fuck python
I have no experience in python and barely any in anything else and I want more than anything to learn this fucking language, but I cant launch the simplest fucking script in the world ("hello world.py") without getting a syntax error, not with my code, but with the fucking path which I checked and rechecked a million fucking times. I remember coding in shitty-ass Java using jGrasp for a year in college, and it was fantastic, but sitting here trying to sort out a fucking script in the IDLE shell is making me want to jump off the 10th fucking story. Kill me, please. I tried running in Atom text editor using the "Script" package, but that would have been too fucking convenient. I just keep getting errors and a fucking hourglass next to the name of my code at the bottom of the window, fuck me

After writing my first php script that displayed a random forum signature image. Took me far too long but the end result was worth it.

Felt proud after my first mini refractor that automatically picked up images from a folder on my geocities web hosting lol.

Cannot tell you how much win I felt at the time :)

Am I the only person who didn't know you could set java script as bookmarks to run functions on select tabs my life is so much easier now will be even easier when I master java script

Today is bad pun day it seems.

I'm working on a script to automate exporting PST files and Office Interop is being a pain. I tell my colleague @jacoKotze about my current issue and he just says "Maybe you just need a new Outlook on things"

Starting my work day:

* fire up the build script wrapper script wrapping the Docker compose scripts, which starts I dunno 20 different microservices, frontend build processes, watchers, blah, blah, blah, chews my laptop's battery like a muthafukka, wait for 15 minutes, for maybe a 40% chance that maybe it'll work, or maybe I'll have to fix some random thing that's wrong out of the 20 million things that could possibly go wrong and then restart... and if I'm lucky at the end of all this, I get to work on, I dunno, adding some field to a modal?

Firing up my weekend side project:

* php -S and immediately start working productively every time

Fuck the "modern web"

So this happened a few days ago
I was working on a module assigned by my senior, and was the sole developer on that module. Just when I was breaking my head to get a bash script correct (was writing a bash script for first time), my senior comes and looks at my messy script and goes "No, no, no, no that's not how you do it. "
Takes the keyboard and starts editing my script opened in vim.
Did some cool restructuring, taught me a few things about bash and while talking to me kept the keyboard back at its place.
I keep my hands on keyboard while talking to him and press
[Escape] :q!
And as I pressed Enter my face went purple/blue thinking this is not good. 😨
(I have a habit to quit as I had almost never edited and saved a vim file before)
And he sees that face and says
what happened?
No nothing. Everything's cool.

Christe on a bike, why would anyone sane use PowerShell? I can't even run my own fucking script, because "cannot be loaded because running scripts is disabled on this system". Even tho I used the same script file literally yesterday.

So I'm just gonna use single command to change it. Easy? Well fuck no! Because no one thought that implementing something like "sudo" would be a fantastic idea, so you have to jump between two separate instances of that piecie of shit. Not to mention it takes ages to even load it.

I spent half of the day trying to make the Grunt script of my node project which uses ECMAscript 6 (Harmony) and make compatible with Uglify-JS by using Babel... Then I found there was a branch of Uglify-JS for Harmony and I only had to update my dependency which took me 2min -_-

How to serve a static file when infra setup is something every hard to do?

<script src="/path/to/my/fav/lang.cxx?filename=mystaticfile.js" type="text/javascript" />

... Brilliant !

last week i finished writing my first Python 3 script, I knew nothing I read no tutorials I just searched for the functions I needed in the docs. it's a script for a game I play to automatically download and run the maps based on a id I put in a text file might add it on GitHub later to get some comments.

I don't know why people here dislike php

It's been 3 years since I was introduced to php and I never find it unworthy to be used in my project at all

Last night it was my first freelancing project and the guy asked me to scrap a table from a stock market website in vba script and append the table values to the excel sheet. That looked easy, I kid you not, from the image he sent me that looked too easy.

I decided to accept it, fml. Cause that site was using fucking cookies and javascript to load the table values.

There was no way to implement shit that in vba under my current knowledge.

Let's fuck this shit and jump to php, I inspected the site and found a cookie was enabling the site to load another part of the site through GET request.

Once I knew what was holding that GET request url, curl came to rescue. I attached cookies and sent the request header and parsed the ajax script url and fetched the response (table data).

Parsed the fetched data using explode and Voila! I made the fucking working script in php

As for the vba script, I wrote code to get this csv, append it to the file and delete the csv

due to some error on GCP, my and friend got locked out of a prod server over ssh.

And the fucking admin was not giving us privileges to do it through serial port, why you ask cause submitting keys from dashboard was not working.

Later, found out google runs a startup script from startup-script metadata tag.

It felt like showing a middle finger to the admin and google

Well ... a few minutes ago i tried to make a discord script wich is changing my status from idle to dnd to online and so on, in an infinite loop, all good until i checked Task manager and saw how much memory is using. my bad i guess in the way i wrote everything

!rant
Guys, will a 150kb minified js package for frontend slow my site down? How large is too large for a frontend script?

So I'm in the middle of writing a script for episode 1 of my how I would have done it series and fuck me, I feel so sorry for big youtubers that script every video, this is annoying me just from a basic script!!!

For whatever reason my Nvidia card is not showing my desktop after a reinstall. I've installed the drivers, ran the xconfig script, and even manually gone in there and edited things. It still won't boot.

This is why the state of Linux needs to get better.

I once was righting a C project for my professor, and I had a problem that I didn't know the solution, once I copied the script in the main into a function it worked perfectly.
And still have no idea of what happened.

Spent way too long wondering why my changes in the parsing script wasn't showing up in the output file until I realised that I was in "text.txt" and not "textResult.txt".

GitHub Actions. That is all.

Well, not really. Trying to convert a grunt script which we have packaging our WordPress plugins to be done as a GitHub action instead and I'm about to throw my machine out of the window.

Some of you will maybe still remember my "discord library from scratch in python" project.

I am thinking about publishing the script (yes, it is only one script. I was lazy lol) on Gitlab today.