PM: Can you finish this in four weeks?
Dev: yeah sure, I can finish that in four weeks
Narrator: the dev could not finish it in four weeks

Oh.. So the deadline is tomorrow? How about we schedule a fucking FOUR HOUR meeting to speed things up?

Yeah, fuck you too...

I got my first job as a programmer... for a salary twice as big as we had at home for four people. I'm f***ing excited!

Wish me luck :)

I noticed that urban dictionary didn't have a definition for devRant.

So I posted one.

And it got rejected ):

*Bawls like a baby*

To the four people who will read this, if you're remotely close to being interested, let me know, I'll post it here.

There is no shame in using google to program.

'Back in the day' we had phonebook sized books of documentation on our desks we would reference constantly.

Why?

No one is going to memorize a phone book sized book. Not to mention three or four of them.

Being a good dev is about creativity, not memorization.

And finally its setup... Working well with four.. hopefully would convert it to 1x4 instead of 2x2....

Well, shit.

My 4yo monster just randomly told me:
"Mommy! One plus two plus three plus four plus five equals fifteen!"

I'm so proud.
And really surprised 🤔

I've been teaching him basic math (adding and subtracting numbers 0-20), but haven't gone beyond two operations / three numbers.

Had to wake four people up at 2 am to fix a crashing service.

10/10 would deploy to production on Friday night again.

Just finished reading this gem from start to end. It is over 20 years old and it is crazy how it is still up to date and applicable. Great work.

I was hired to build a small PHP site. The client was arrested and sentenced to jail time right before the third of four milestones was complete, so I didn't get paid any more after that. Didn't hear from him for over a year, then out of nowhere he wanted to pick up where we left off.

Four years of college, and so many memories! Well, 267 GBs actually! 😅

I had genuinely forgotten devRant had a light theme until I saw a rant about it. I went into settings and turned it on for about four seconds, screamed "MY EYES" and rejoined the dark side.

We were four.

I setup a git repo, invited everyone and started coding. After a week I noticed I still was the only contributor.

Turned out they had their own code base in Dropbox. :/

Four engineers get in a car. The car won't start.

The mechanical engineer says:
It's a broken starter.

The electrician's engineer says:
The battery is dead.

The chemical engineer says:
There are impurities in the gas.

The software engineer says:
Guys, try getting out of the the car then back in!

I'm tired of those post and memes about wasting four days finding a missing semicolon (;).
Where do those guys program? Notepad?
Come on! Use the existing tools!

So I bitched about how shitty PHP was during the whole four years of my major and the first job I landed was a PHP developer position...

24 = four twenty

Programming Design patterns part 1 :- remembering "The Gang of four..!"

Update on my job interviews:
I had four so far.
Got rejected from all of them.
The reason of most of them was that they would have to teach me too much.
I am applying as a junior.
What do they expect? Fucking Linus Torvalds or geohot?

Just thought that there should be a Harry Potter based code camp where the four houses represents a language that you are learning at the camp.

For example, Gryffindor can be ruby, Hufflepuff can be Javascript, Ravenclaw can be PHP and, of course, Python is Slytherin.

Only if Sunday had 48 hours. Everyone's life would be better

When Python ruins your museum experience :(
There were about four all up like this.

The girl I loved for four years left me four months ago. It has been the most painful four months of my life and I struggled through the initial days. Both my health and my productivity suffered.

But I feel better now. Trying my best to keep moving forward and stay positive. Realised that shit happens and we can't just sudo our way out of everything.

Just wanted to share. Thank you for reading this far.

John von Neumann once said: "With four parameters I can fit an elephant, and with five I can make him wiggle his trunk."

We took it literally

After four years of debate, the Telecom Authority of India decided that net neutrality will be the official policy of indian telecom. Any form of discrimination or interference in treatment or content like blocking, slowing down or preferential speed is restricted.

Guess they pulled their head outta their arses on this one.

Today I inserted a single row into a table which triggered four triggers which inserted 5 rows each to different tables triggering 9 triggers inserting 3 rows which triggered more triggers... Nothing about this is ok.

FOUR DAYS

Tomorrow will be the FOURTH FUCKING DAY spent trying to get this piece of shit iOS simulator to not crash the app.

I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING.

FUCK APPLE. FUCK XCODE. FUCK IOS😠😤😠😤😠😤😠😤😠😤

Steve Jobs was a twat, and the IPhone X garbage piece of technology

Four meetings today.

Legal was not involved in legal agreement changes until I refused to make them without Legal signing off. Legal changed several things, leading to:

Project scope changed size from large to minuscule to small to medium.

Details changed at every step.

Despite being incredibly structured and process-heavy, people at this company are so disorganized. 😕

My start at one of the Big Four (accounting firms).

The first two days of each month they organise "onboarding days" for the new starters of that month. (I so hate upper management buzzwords!) They sent me a formal invitation that looked like I was being invited to a ball with the royals, and they included the following super-smarty-pants line: "Dress code: would you wear jeans and t-shirt when you meet a client?"

And I thought: "I'm an effing hardware and software engineer for internal services. I will never meet a client." But I dressed formally nonetheless, and I went to the onboarding, and I hated every second I spent in those effing high heels, and don't get me started on how I managed to get a run on my stockings in the first hour.

The first day of the onboarding we sat through eight hours of general talks from senior employees who wanted to explain the "culture" and "values" of our company, but the worst of all was the three-hour introduction to IT services where they "helped us set up our new laptops" and taught us how to send e-mails and how to use the Company Portal.

On the second day, they divided us into groups depending on our speciality (assurance, taxes, legal, etc) and exposed us to further 8 hours of boredom related to our speciality. However, since the "digital services" thing was still new to them, we didn't have a category of our own, and we had to attend the introduction to one of the other categories, and I didn't understand one word of what was being said.

On the third day I finally went to my office and they provided me with a second laptop. It turns out that we engineers got different laptops and were allowed to manage it ourselves instead of letting central IT manage it for us. So I simply returned the laptop they had given me the first day and started working. However, for some reason, the laptop I returned was not registered, and two weeks later they started pestering me with emails asking where was the laptop "I had stolen". It took me 3 weeks of emails and calls to make them understand that I had returned the laptop immediately.

Also, on the two onboarding days we had to sign attendance, and since I forgot to sign the paper list on the second day, they invited me to the event the next month again. I explained to them that I had already attended the onboarding and didn't go, so they invited me again on the third month, and they threatened me with "disciplinary action" if I didn't go. After a week of lost time writing emails and calling people, I ended up going to the onboarding again just to sign the effing list.

In the end, I resigned during the probation time. That company was the worst experience of my life. It was an example of corporate culture so absurdly exaggerated that it sometimes reminded me of Kafka's Trial. I think they have more "HR representatives" than people who do actual work.

YOU ALREADY MADE FOUR FRICKIN PARTITIONS!!! WHY DO YOU NEED MORE?!?!?

Just finished installing Deepin OS on my old laptop as an attempt to get familiar with linux (coming from win10). It looks gorgeous, I got at least four orgasms from the installation process alone. And it comes with lots of cool apps preinstalled (Chrome, Spotify, Steam, etc). So far I'm very happy with it.

!rant

Someone just downvoted four of my answers on Stackoverflow just because I commented on one of his answers that "please include some description, just code won't be helpful"

PEOPLE IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT YOU ARE WRONG THEN GET THE FUCK OUT FROM OUR COMMUNITY AND STOP RUINING IT.

Since you're here, let's make something very clear.
There are four kinds of people in this world:
1. Idiot fucks who commit everytime they write a single loc
2. Professional programmers who commit when they complete a module/functionality
3. Lost souls who commit to their girlfriends
4. People who don't use git.
Understand?

It was a basic java lesson. We had four values that we stored in a array. We had to make some calculations with the values. Then we had to sort those four values. That's the solution our teacher proposed:
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[2] > arr[3]) {
int temp = arr[2];
arr[2] = arr[3];
arr[3] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}

Since my coworker is on holiday and our desks are next to each other, I took his spot for this week and connected my secondary monitor to his setup

Four screens this week :D

Windows 10 deletes files so slowly that inadvertently it gives the impression that it's secretly sending data to three/four-letter organisations instead of the trash

Two out of four people do not simplify fractions.

I've heard a lot about four loops, but how do three loops work?

How many bites do you need to eat an int?
Four.

The four hard things in CS are

1. cache invalidation
2. naming
3. off-by-one errors.

We had a server that crashed every single Christmas four years a row. Last year I put a cross and garlic on it for fun. Everybody laughed at me... but it didn't crash!

Soo... should I protect it from the Christmas ghost again, this year too? 🤔👻

Surprise four days off next week!
I bloody well need it.

Ah yes, the four genders

!rant

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FOUR DAYS ‘TIL CLOSING!

I’M GOING TO OWN A HOUSE!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Manager: What the heck are you guys doing? Pair programming?! That would halve the team productivity!!!

We:

Manager: Alright, Let's do a "quick" four hours meeting. Everyone in the company MUST attend!

We:

Four degrees below zero 4ever redefined

In grade four my teacher had a vic 20 and he let one student per week borrow it to take home. It didn't have any software but the book that came with it had some instructions on how to write some small basic programs.

So after less than four weeks of waiting (an incredibly short time!), I finally got my fresh new devRant stickers yesterday, shipped all the way out to Middle Of Nowhere, India :D

Hats off to the devRant team for their incredible commitment to the app and the users!

In Russia we call PS/2 “пс пополам”, literally “ps divided by two”. Reminds me of French numbers system where they call say 99 “quatre vingt dix neuf”, literally a “four times twenty plus ten plus nine”

Super exited! Been thinking for a while now about getting back to software development (worked couple year as dev in my teens decade ago and since then have been in completely different field of work).
Finally made some effort towards my goal and applied for a position nearby.
After four rounds of interviews and tests, I got the job! Awesome!

After four months of working alone, finally got another developer at work. Unfortunately they hired him as my boss. He came to me yesterday with a new project and told me to drop everything I'm working on for it. I asked him the timeline for it, a week. Why. Why the fuck. Go fuck yourself.

My little daughter came to me all excited, saying "Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in June!"
"Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me?" I said. She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers.
It's now three hours later, police have joined in and she still won't say where she got them.

Caption This: Four developers spotted in Silicon Valley Starbucks.

New password cannot be one of your four previous passwords.
Password must conatin upper and lower case characters, at least two numbers and two special characters
Password cannot contain five or more consecutive letters of username.
Password cannot include any _illegal patterns_.

Locked out of your system? Drive over to HQ and ask the admins to reset your password in person.

Four decades oppression of women in Iran.

Please Be our voice.

me : Why are fire trucks red?

Bot : Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.(according to the Monty Pythonesque application of the principles of logic and etymology)

😳😳😳

Bought four GPU for our server and only to find our motherboard can only fit in two GPU despite it has 4 PCIe slot...

Four Twenty.

Modern tragedy in four lines:

- I just bought a new 1TB SSD
- Look at all this free space
- Let's do npm install
- Oh no

Classname
ClassName
Class-name
Class_name

There are four types of people. Who are you?

!Dev
I found this on Quora... it keeps me awake as I struggle to find the fourth person. Yes I can see 3 persons and four bottles.

God, the media is a joke. They can't spell loss, and the chart would seem to indicate that ice loss is decreasing. How do you mess up a line chart? and a four letter word?

Customer: Do you have a 2GB RAM stick?

Me: Yes, we do. Do you know what you have and what you need?

Customer: Yes, I have a one-zero-two-four M-B stick and a two-zero-four-eight M-B stick.

Me: So... a 10-24 Meg stick and a 20-48 Meg stick

Customer: Yes.

Me: Ok.... and do you know if it's going to be DDR2 or...?

Customer: Yes, DDR2.

Me: Okay, yes, we do have some. And will you want us to install it?

Customer: No. I can install it. I've been putting computers together for 30 years, so I think I can do it.

first off, they've defined (just yesterday) FOUR (not ONE) features to be done by the end of the month (yes really no joke, i mean _this_ month, as in october, i.e. they mean by monday)

four of them still have "to be defined" labels

so, what, you guys gonna define those today so we have uh.... all of friday to do them?

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Four reasons why I'm not testing my code today!

Lezzgoo to PROD!

Making a Twitch chat bot withing four days after starting to learn programming and python.

The downside is that now that I look a it I feel a bit embarrassed with the mess I made. But hey, it works!

“Password length mustn't exceed seventeen characters.”
Why? Why do some Web sites still have this rule? It's 2018. We should be using passwords of at least twenty-four characters. This is crap.

Instead of making business cards, I bought small index cards. The first time ‘round, I carefully taped four or five together with chalkboard tape and then wrote on them with gold pen. Now I’m just using the index cards and black pen since the reaction to that in person’s been positive. What do you guys think? Are people just humoring me in person?

On the twelfth day of Christmas
programming gave to me:
Twelve bugs in public branch
Eleven errors to fix
Ten freaking warnings
Nine Windows Updates
Eight blue screens of deaths
Seven minutes of compiling
Six servers down
Five Android Studio crashes
Four angry stackoverflow devs
Three kernel panics
Two burned graphics cards
and a one broken-dick piece of shit JavaScript framework

Before implementing a feature that is one hour of work for one developer, let's have four meetings about it, a user survey, specifications and endless discussions on resources.

I have a co-worker who negative-indents his function bodies. Minus four spaces. Every function. Not an IDE thing either, he does it intentionally.

I've never seen anything like it.

In the middle of a project, the word "just" is an offensive four letter word.

Can we JUST make this small change?

JUST slip that feature in here.

I'm sure you can think of some more.

Is success luck or hard work?

“Success is luck.”
— the guy who spent 13 hours a day learning for four years straight before the success came

“Success is definitely luck.”
— the guy who sold his soul, become obsessed and traded his social life for skills

“Success is hard work”
— the trust fund baby who barely learned anything through his “career”

So, I was on-call last night and I got paged four times in the six hour period that I slept. I had to get up and handle the alerts and make sure all the systems are up and running each time. I have a meeting in 20 minutes and I just want to sleep.

on the first day of christmas my PM send to me

There's a bug in your B-tree

on the second day of christmas my PM send to me

two threads deadlocked
and a bug in your B-tree

On the third day of christmas my PM send to me

Three servers crashing
two threads deadlockd
and a bug in my B-Tree

on the Fourth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Fith day of Christmas my PM send to me

Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

On the sixth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Seventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eighth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Ninth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Tenth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eleventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Twelve day of Christmas my PM send to me

Twelve DBs updating
Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

A coffe bos?

JUST IN TIME!!

Four weeks worth of UI Automation done in four days!!

Gona be the drunkest Irish Man on the Island

Meetings, responding to emails, handling urgent tickets, etc. If I could just get four uninterrupted hours of coding in a day, I'd be happy. But I'm basically in meetings all morning and usually have at least 1 more in the middle of the afternoon.

When the hero turns into villain.

Windows memory management is one of the worst architectural designs in tech industry to ever exist.

One mistake on my part is I did not opt for SSD four years ago when my purchased my current laptop.

The entire experience is irritating.

For this year I have four main tasks I have set myself:
1. Don't lose my job
2. Write a few toy programming languages
3. Blog about said languages and things I learnt at work
4. Get married

I'm pretty excited about most of those but would love some tips on how you guys have overcome challenges in similar endevours

Testers be like "button is slightly too blue and four pixels too far to the right"

Severity: critical
Importance: showstopper

Sigh...

I spent four days doing a rewrite for a possible performance boost that yielded nothing.

I spent an hour this morning implementing something that boosted parsing of massive files by 22% and eliminated memory allocations during parsing.

Work effort does not translate into gains.

Four months ago I decided to quit smoking and bought a vape mod :) Never touched a cigarette since. Best decision I made in a while.

Just wanted to share this with you, fellow devs. :)

HOW TO PROGRAM(in four easy steps) :

1. Google the F*cking Problem.
2. Open a Stackoverflow link.
3. Copy and paste the code.
4. If it didn't work, goto step 2.
If it did work, goto step 1
(you didn't think you were done.. did you?)

FAQ
Q: What if there is no code?
A: Then it is impossible.

I'm four months in my new job and I've done 5 days worth of coding. There aren't much projects coming to our office nowadays so I'm being paid just to log my hours.

Any of the ranters here have any small project ideas I can make to pass the time?

I've literally run out of things to make.

Working on a module in an old shitty system. It takes 150 seconds to boot the fucker for debugging, which gives me one minute of debugging before the inevitable crash. Four minutes of debugging costs me 10 minutes of watching the loading splash screen.

I'm about to send my keyboard on a journey, straight through my monitor.

#not a rant
When I finally have Four weeks of vacation..

anyone that want to join my minecraftserver?
ಠ౪ಠ

Spent almost four days trying to reverse engineer a feature the previous developers failed to document but a sales lead from before the take over was counting on.

Turns out it was never made and the whole exercise was a waste of time.

So i had the second talk with this company today. The backend developer somehow expected me to know all four benefits of jQuery. What the hell dude?

Nobody knows everything.

I’m not a big fan of jQuery period.

!dev

Just took out my four wisdom teeth at once. I can't feel my face, I look like a balloon and I'm drooling like I'm about to eat a delicious cake.

Except the cake is a fucking lie, my mandibular joints are hurting and I can't eat solids for a week.

At least I only have one postoperative to contend with. Hurray! 🙃

ComputerToucher: *opens Jira ticket* Dev team needs tokens for the APM for a new app with multiple tenants. Ezpz. Hey, developer. Do you want one golden token for all of your app tenants or would you like us to generate one token for each?

Developer: Let’s have a meeting to discuss it.

CT: It’s…an exceedingly simple question. One token or 4? Which does your app support?

Dev: Yeah I think we should discuss with this with the platform team, can you set up the call?

CT: (Internally) I am the platform team? Do you not know how your applica-never mind I’ll just ask the PM directly.

CT (in chat): I’ll ask PM to schedule the call.

*Goes back to Jira ticket, changes priority to 4, removes ticket from sprint entirely, picks something else to work on*

After about four hours of email server setup I'm sitting here with a citadel setup, not being able to login, Google didn't help, I'm fucking done with this shit

Have to finish this code today but only slept four hours last night, coffee isn't working anymore, making the most stupid mistakes and constantly dreaming away while looking at my screen because I can't focus anymore. Also, it's around 25 degrees here and the vents aren't working that great... fml.

This week I learned:

a.) Always quadruple check new feature before pushing a new update - otherwise it will end with one to three hotfixes
b.) Never do the last minute changes to the features - that ends with two to four hotfixes
c.) Always make sure that the update system works - otherwise no one will get your hotfixes

use four words only

I don't know how to code while I'm with my four month daughter.

Me: I get physically uncomfortable in meetings that last more than an hour.

Software Architect: This meeting is going to take four hours but don’t worry it’ll feel like forty five minutes.

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln

When the client wants an onclick menu, complete with animations and responsiveness, for a menu with only four items.

Four beers with an expiry date of 2022. What do you do? Easy, drink three so you don't care about the expiry date of the fourth and enjoy.

Didn't tag it as joke because it's seriously what I just did

Was writing a CMS detection tool today for my internship company and kept getting every result back as Joomla. Took me only four hours to find out that I hard coded the domain to check against...

Hactoberfest is in October.
Wait...there are only four days left....

Company's HR team has launched a eco drive. As part of the initiative they're asking everyone to use only one tissue paper (among other things) to save trees.
.
.
So they've printed that message on thick glossy papers and pasted them, at least four per washroom among other places.

Okay, I guess.

Working only four days a week. Gives you that one day to have actual fun.

Did anyone else notice how setting up a letsencrypt.org certificate for a domain became a lot easier as this year went on? Certbot + automatic renewal was set up in four commands on my RasPi, I remember it being more difficult to set everything up 🤔

Learning jquery after four straight years of vanilla js makes me feel really dirty.

They fired all four of our testers on Monday. Devs need to split the testing workload now. FML.

I remember that time when you only needed 200 +1's to get a stress ball and it was achievable in one life, not four.

"I have been pressing this button for FOUR HOURS now, and STILL it does not work!!"

Started my new job in November. At least it only took me four months to discover the toxic culture before I'm on the market again. Uuuuugggggh Fuuuuck.

Leave the house for 30 fucking minutes and the courier attempts to deliver my new notebook just then---after four days in transit. And, of course, they don't deliver at the weekend.

I swear the guy was camped outside my house waiting to fuck me over.

So 4 months back I agreed to build a website for one of my relatives. In the beginning while discussing about the site they told me that will make the contents and photos that will go to the respective pages. I kept on reminding them about the contents and now four months have passed and I still have no contents and photos. Now they are pressuring me to complete the website soon. Don't they understand that I'm waiting for the f****** contents?! 😠 I kept on reminding them for four f****** months! And they think that I AM the one who is slow! .. FOUR f****** months for one website!

These two liters of water one should drink per day sound like a lot.
However, four pints go down faster than a hookers panties after she's been paid...

My internship is extremely boring, I've worked at a company for four days and I've only had 2 tasks which took about 15 minutes each! What should I do tomorrow?

My macbook base is missing four screws (I'd upgraded a few weeks ago...and I lost the screws) and now the base is all loose and wobbly :@

How you look when your customer tells you that you can not pay the rest of the budget accepted and completed, within two weeks because he has to change the four wheels of his BMW 4x4 :O

"What are the four pillars of OOP?"

Me:(I'm not an OOP guy, but focused on design patterns)

1. Encapsulation
2. Abstraction
3. Polymorphism
4. ??(was it inheritance or composition).

Fuck, Because of the phrase "composition over inheritance". I've been mixing both composition and inheritance at the same time.

I am looking for a job, does any one needs a ceo or a consultant? I can be helpful. I have experience of four failed projects, two were of my own and have experience of one successful one.

Moving tickets in the workflow to "Done" before going through the four testing stages.

Four hours later and I'm still debugging

If you are feeling a little chilly in your office, try building a docker container with a Ruby install inside...

All four cores of this i7 are pegged and the air is keeping my coffee warm.

TV Show 'Loaded' premieres tonight. Four friends sell their app to a big company. Comedy tonight at 10 p.m. Eastern time. Probably not in the league of Silicon but might be worth a look.

Four and half months,
Hundreds of hundreds PRs and one additional product cluster
By 6 Engineers..
To 500+ micro services
Which has no timezone or currency context,
Created by 250+ engineers,

To launch in a new country...

It didn't make me happy.

But the feedback from customers and drivers is priceless and #heartwhelming

After one year and four months (with a reminder 3 months ago) they are finally here 🎉

"So what we're going to do is sign you up for this basic training we think you need despite your years of proven experience and certifications and a four year degree directly related to the type of training don't count"

I'm just trying to install a program… Literally FOUR HOURS and over a MILLION lines of GCC warning output later:
==> ERROR: A failure occurred in build().
Aborting...
-> error making: lib32-qt4

The four day rewrite of my codebase did... nothing...

No improvement. No detriment.

Just nothing...

Okay then.

to space, or to tab,
that is the question,
whether tis nobler to suffer
the slings and arrows
of outrageous space bar use
pressing four or eight times,
or to take arms against a sea of
manual spaces by using
the tab key, and by apposing
space bar's end them.

Every time I search for some CSS or Javascript feature the first three or four results are always from w3schools. I want MDN! Any good tricks or sites that does not involve searching directly on MDN? Some Google filter add-on perhaps?

When four issues get assigned to four different developers and the analysis and the proposed fix for each is a change to a single class file that has been locked by a fifth developer.

Yesterday we were four developers working together on a bug. What do you call it? Quad programming?

Anyway, we solved it!

The fact that four to eight dollars a week could break me and cause me to lose my job before I've even started is a statement on how bad the american economy is, and what kind of future people have in america: none.

There is none.

Just been watching some police soap on YT with "real police officers in action". Haha, yeah.

Huh, what's that outside, flashing blue light? Oh, a police car. No, two. Three. Actually, four. All of the guys rush into the neighbour house, WTF. Real police officers in action.

The problem of being 80% done after one month is that you know there is at least four month left.

What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.

I've lived in this apartment for four years.
Tomorrow I'm moving out.
I've never ever lost my keys.
But today, the day before I'm moving out,
I LOOSE MY FUCKING KEYS!?!!?
What the actual fuck is this? If there is a god, which I'm quite sure there is not, fuck you!

"This MONDAY, you can have a day to yourself." (as the university is hosting something all day long)

> Finally can start this. Yayy!
(THE Gang of Four)

Trying to reliably do Xamarin iOS development has sucked almost all the fun out of software development for me over the last four weeks.

Xamarin Android? Minor hiccups but mostly smooth sailing.

Xamarin iOS? 5th level of development Hell.

Today, making a list out loud while in a conversation with a co-worker.
Me:
"thing one" *puts out hand*,
"thing two" *raises thumb*,
"thing three" *raises index finger*,
"thing four" *raises middle finger*

Co-worker: "That's 3 fingers, you said 4 things.."
Me: "I guess I mentally counted in base 0.."

I have been at my job for four months. I do 99% of the research on a problem or a fix - another employee recognizes the remaining 1 % and looks like a champ.

Just spent a week designing and building an airbnb clone from scratch in a team of only four people. I don't know what I need more - a beer or my bed 😂

Fucking four hours wasted.

Bad idea

.subscribe(({ messages }) => {
this.messages = messages;
// Scroll to bottom of the chat content
this.chatcontent.nativeElement.scrollTop = this.chatcontent.nativeElement.scrollHeight;
});

because the dom is not manipulated that fast.

Good Idea:

ngAfterViewChecked(): void {
// Scroll to bottom of the chat content
this.chatcontent.nativeElement.scrollTop = this.chatcontent.nativeElement.scrollHeight;
}

Today I sat with my manager wanting to show him the analytics.
I started typing the address and the chrome prediction went up so I pressed enter.
Unfortunately I typed only the first four letters and the prediction disappeared so I googled something totally different 😫

If I have four unknown variables, x, y, j, and k, but know the values of x*j, y/k, and k/j, and x*j == y/k

How do I go about getting the values of the individual unknown variables?

The customer wanted me to create a password for their database. I made it the name of the software and appended b4lls.

Whenever I tell him what the password is I spell out the software with the b at the end, say "the number four", then lls. He has never repeated "oh, softwareballs", I am not sure he has noticed.

Client can't pay me and has asked to pay me in four installments spread across on month. Surely to all hell, if you don't have the money, don't hire a goddamn developer!

This job was decided before I got advice from you guys about getting a contract as well!

One dev starts db migrations for staging...
Four devs stop working cause their tables no longer exist...
Best Friday Ever

#devRantBreak

When someone over complicates everything. Turns what could be a three paragraph billeted system launch email into four dense pages that no one will finish reading. First page tooting their horn for a job not well done. Usually 'less is more'

Dammit! I don't know how many times I've typed "mov x y" in my terminal tonight...

I finally gave in and set an alias for it.

Damned x86 assembly...

Fuck you VS Code! Have to reboot my VM every four hours because that piece of shit starts glitching on the screen and freezes the entire system when I want to close it!

You know you're doing enterprise style agile when every two weeks requires a 20 person four hour meeting to go over what was actually implemented in the spring

Here's the intro of the documentation I'm reading in my new job:

...we have four sections. First 3 section will use LBC and the last 2 section will use HBC

🤔

still can't believe someone actually hired me as dev and then multiple companies tried poaching me (one tried twice, another tried four times)

what are they all on

The reviewer said one of the code lines was indented wrong and move four spaces to the left so rather than arguing I did, then his response was..."Sorry, I meant three."

He was wrong both times and it should have been to the right...an if else the previous dev hadn't indented.

That seems like a lot of drama for some spacing.

My 1300€ Thinkpad is just a noisy and sometimes annoying laptop. It is sometimes so loud that my colleague is pissed off.

It is almost four years old and dust cleaning did not help...
I am so pissed off by this behaviour i am actually thinking of selling it and buying a macbook.......

Maybe a stupid question but I can't seem to google the right words.

In Linux, how do I reference the same device (disk) through reboots? Like, there's no guarantee that /dev/sda1 will be the same device twice, right?

Like, if I have three or four disks and I want one for "backups", how do I choose that disk *every time*?

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds!

Well this explains why I'm a programmer...

First off, what do you love doing? Secondly, what are you good at? Thirdly, what does the world need? Lastly, what can you be paid for? Think of your answers as a Venn diagram; you’ll find your ikigai where all four circles overlap. 

I just spent 4 (four) hours debugging why my perlin noise used the same gradient for every point. Turns out I forgot to assign the seed for the random generator so it defaulted to 0. (I seed it every round with the map seed and coordinates so I don't have to store anything for visited regions)

So, how's your sunday night going?

Dev: When can we deploy these changes that will improve the services?

Managers: Later, we're at a critical point right now.

..said every day for last four months

Didn’t heard from a customer for over a week and just got four emails at once yesterday.
Great.

Guys, why is everybody complaining about apple usb-c ports? Isn't that the future?
Wait four/five years and it will all be usb-c
I mean, 100% chances of inserting the drive in the computer at first attempt. Fucking rad!

So it’s feast or famine as a freelancer. I went from just a couple active clients to three new clients and four new proposals to write for new prospects. Discovering the limits of my productivity and brainpower at the moment.

Four hours of work and the work horse decides to have a heart attack.

Thank the server gods for swap files.

Fuck it. Two big releases plus all the minor shit raining down on our team with only three active devs. A new team member who's unfortunately more of a burden and nuisance while the whole ship burns so beautifully....
And stupid me? I fucking break my arm, is in a cast now for four weeks. So I can mostly watch, while everything sinks.

TIL, shopify plus has whopping 4 requests per second rate limit on their admin rest api's... I don't know how much we pay them but shopify plus pricing starts at $2000 monthly, for a fucking FOUR requests per SECOND.

This year I graduated from high school and started a dual curriculum (50% practical work at a company, 50% theory at university) and after four months I can without a doubt say:

I am not enjoying it at all.

When you have to stay awake until 4:30am uploading and importing 134 .sql files split up from a larger single exported file because for some stupid reason MySQL can only handle importing the data at this insane level of incremental push.

When I have a Jenkins build fail, then fix the issue, I run the build four more times manually to make that branch "sunny" again.

Only four things are infinite , The universe, Human stupidity, The no. of functions and properties in CSS and JS, AND WINRAR's TRIAL PERIOD......

While waiting at the airport for my flight I’ve received no less than four emails from a competing airline. I think it’s time to check my location settings on the other airlines app.

How the fuck can a virtualbox instance run slower on a brand new Mac Pro with four times the ram and cores than the old one that ran sweet?! What the actual fuck....

Just finished fourth interview with a company (fuck me) for a solutions engineer position (I am a self taught dev that is transitioning to technical roles from a pretty "soft" background with the hope of being in a software engineer role within three years). Anyone have any experience with the solutions engineer role and some advice about it? Note: this IS an invitation to rant about solutions engineers so I know what NOT to do.

To actually finish one of the 50,000 books I’ve bought in the past four years...

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans

Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.

I’m 44 and can’t find a job for the past four months. I’ve almost given up.

Do cartoon characters with four fingers per hand (and assuming only two arms) naturally think in octal? Or is it just a happy coincidence that humans developed base 10 because we (normally) have 10 fingers?

Four years without taking a vacation...

Staff shortage at prevous employer

If Tetris figures consisted of five squares instead of four, it would've been called “Pentis”.
There are also Sextis, Septis and Octis.