At a funeral.....

A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?

Priest: Respect the dead

Visitor: All small letters ?...

I'm no longer quitting with formal letters.

I still get letters in my mail box, but they are damn bills!

dad: how come u always on ur computer typing colorful letters and u get paid.

me: it is called coding dad.

dad:

When I was a kid, I used Dreamweaver and my mother would watch me doing things and she used to say "Oh, my dear there are lots of icons and buttons!!! How do you manage that? How do you know which one is for what purpose? You are really brilliant."

And now I use Atom IDE and she says "This looks very easy. Technology has evolved so much that you don't have to click so many buttons and just write simple lines, just as simple as writing letters and the software does the rest of the things. These softwares have done a brilliant job."

Seriously the technology has changed (and my mother too) !!!

No Friends = No Emails or letters!😁

Mother of god, was listening to the US govt hearing of zuckerberg about the recent scandals. The amount of very fucking simple obvious questions he 'could not' answer normally...

Govt person: Would you be willing to change Facebook's business model if this was required for the security and privacy of Facebook users' accounts?

Zuck: I don't understand your question.

Sorry, WHAT?! You don't need particular rocket science to understand what's being asked here. A combination of common sense and knowing the English language and English grammar in combination with maybe having finished some form of education should be enough to understand this ridiculously easy question.

Do you need it written on a golden plate with fucking blue letters in Facebook's font with the S letters as dollar signs while drinking 10 gallons of 'fuck every persons privacy'?!

Or maybe shoving it up your ass in the form of heated/glowing metal letters of 10+ inches in height? We could arrange that as well.

Wrote a script that calms the extreme use of exclamation/question marks and capslocked rants, do have to say, it makes it much easier to read many of the rants, it also adds small stats at the bottom of the rant

may sound like it takes the "fun" out of those rants, but it only triggers if the capslock is more than the lowercased letters

wish the devrant webapp was accessible from mobile, to use all them scripts on mobile too

*calls grandpa I don't usually talk to that much to congratulate him for his birthday*

*grandpa picks up*

*congratulates*

Him: so, I know that you study CS and I was working on something [Word document at the moment] and my letters keep getting different sizes! Sometimes they're small, sometimes they're big, sometimes they're in between! I have to erase everything everytime because they just get messed up every time!

Me *sighing, but confused because upper-case and lower-case are the same with "big letters" and "small letters", respectively, in my native language: have you checked Caps Lock on your keyboard?

Him: What is that? I have Esc, 1, 2, 3,... (proceeds to read me the keys on the keyboard)

*explains where caps lock is*

Him *gets angry*: no, you don't understand, sometimes they're small, sometimes they're big and sometimes in between! Caps Lock doesn't solve it! *proceeds to read the keys from the keyboard again*

*thinking that maybe it's the font then, asks about the Word version, to know what to point him to*

Him: WHAT? Word? No! I'm using my keyboard! What don't you understand! I explain to you and you have no idea!

Me: well, I'd need then maybe to see the screen

Him: I'm so angry with you, you say you study so much but are not even able to help me with such a small problem. I'll just find someone else. Thanks for your wishes *hangs up*

And this is how I only tried to congratulate my grandfather for his birthday but turned into a "failing" tech support. I just wanted to be a good granddaughter

Nothing has ever taken the place of floppy disks' drive letters (A: and B:) . They will fovever have their place in our hearts and in the alphabet.

Password is not case sensitive, but requires at least two uppercase and two lowercase letters

Are youtubers aware that lowercase letters exist?

Dear clients.

Putting your support subject or content either in uppercase letters or telling US that your matter/ticket has 'the utmost priority' doesn't mean anything to us. You'll just have to keep in line.

WE decide the priorities. Also, calling us when we haven't looked into your very fucking high priority ticket yet for about 5 FUCKING minutes is NOT going to help YOU.

- One of the Linux Support Engineers.

Yesterday I was updating the code in a linux server at 23:00.
My 6 year son look the terminal while i was typing and said:
"Dad, why you always write in block letters? I can read and write also in italics."
"Dear son, you are smarter than my PC."

Vim.
Three letters that strike fear in the hearts of millions.

I18n is short for internationalization because there is 18 letters between I and the last n. I love the laziness of developers.

My great uncle came over this weekend, and he is a big Apple fan though he owns a little hp. He asked me if I knew windows ten, to which I said yes, and then said he had a problem. His internet wouldn't connect. I came to his laptop, and he already had the wifi menu up, which said in big letters "Your WiFi is turned off." So I said to him "Your WiFi is turned off." He proclaimed his disdain for "the software" and asked if I could fix it. Instead of clicking the very obvious button that took maybe 10% of his screen, I opened command prompt as admin and entered "netsh interface show interface" followed by "netsh interface set interface Wi-Fi enabled"

I followed it up by saying I fixed a problem with his wireless card and that he should be able to use the large wifi button that appears when he opens the menu to turn it off and on again

So far this month I applied for 15+ game development related jobs, and spent ages carefully crafting customized cover letters and resumes for each particular job. Didn't get as much as a "thank you for your application".

Then, for the one random job application I applied to on LinkedIn using my most generic resume, and no cover letter, I get a near instant response and an invitation to coordinate day/time for an interview in person. Wtf.

Anyway, hope I get the job, because I'm running out of food.

Was thinking of a name for my currently biggest project and thought of a funny one, took the first letter of each word and started to use that to refer to the project, was thinking about domain names and such already etc.

Just wrote it down and I suddenly noticed:

ONE OF THE LETTERS IN THE SHORTCUT ISN'T CORRECT.

How the fuck did I miss that for fucking weeks?! It's not like it's a difficult sentence/set of words or anything.

I'm so fucking glad I didn't register domains or shit yet.

How. In. The. Living. Hell.

The last year my school installed MagicBoards (whiteboard with beamer that responses to touch) in every class room and called itself "ready for the future of media". What they also got is A FUCKING LOW SPEC SERVER RUNNING DEBIAN 6 W/O ANY UPDATES SINCE 2010 WHICH IS DYING CONSTANTLY.

As I'm a nice person I asked the 65 y/o technician (who is also my physics teacher) whether I could help updating this piece of shit.

Teacher: "Naahh, we don't have root access to the server and also we'll get a new company maintaining our servers in two years. And even if we would have the root access, we can't give that to a student."

My head: "Two. Years. TWO YEARS?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT?! YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T HAVE TO INSTALL UPDATES EVEN THOUGH YOU CREATE AN SSH USER FOR EVERY FUCKING STUDENT SO THEY CAN LOGIN USING THEIR BIRTH DATE?! DID YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT SECURITY VULNERABILITIES IN YOUR LITTLE MISERABLE LIFE OR SOUNDS 'CVE-2016-5195' LIKE RANDOM LETTERS AND NUMBERS TO YOU?! BECAUSE - FUNFACT - THERE ARE TEN STUDENTS WHO ARE IN THE SUDO GROUP IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!"

Me (because I want to keep my good grades): "Yes, that sounds alright."

So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?

Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~

Bath time for my child. Never too early to plant some seeds, right? 😁

Coding has changed my life in a way where I no longer look for simple answers. I look at things deeper and more logically.

That this picture for example, I was at a pub quiz and got this handout, #2 I was thinking was hex, or the ASCII table or some sort of shifted by one arrangement. Nope! They just put numbers between the fucking letters!?!?!??

So the tax authorities in the Netherlands have this slogan that roughly translates to:
"We can't make it fun, but we can make it easier."

I'm not sure how this is going to be easy for me. This arrived in the mail today.
Even worse this is a fuck up from them. They are saying our company did not do it's taxes but when we log in their online portal we can see that we did them. But they are saying that they don't see it in their system.

Who build that system?

Trying to stay calm when they are claiming I own them more taxes then my company has earned in a year.

I did not have enough sleep for this drama.

By the way how about we save some trees and don't send 30 letters on 1 day.

True Story:
Friend uses my laptop on which I have disabled the CapsLock key, seriously asks me:

How do I type capital letters then?

#DeathByFacepalm

My first name has 2 letters. For Some web applications, I have to use fake name..... because my name failed in string.length check.

Half life 2 runs smoothly in a 12 year old PC with Nvidia 8500, 1 GB RAM, and a dual core.
A FPS with wavy water reflection, body physics and huge designed maps which is updates every fucking frame.

Today I can't run smoothly an IDE with 8 GB of RAM and 4 cores.
A program which only reacts to events stutters if I write at more than 3 letters per sec.

I wanna go back. Can we go back? Lets keep the new hardware and go back with the software pleeeease.

So making a website for my best friend who soon to be my girlfriend.. I sort of had this idea where I'm going to ask her out and the links are the letters that I wrote to her when we first met. Cheesy I know but give me your thoughts and opinion. #noobwork. About it. Or what should I add or take away.. kinda nervous.

A few days ago arrived my new amazing fnatic Mechanical keyboard. Makes writing crazy fast! I recommend

Idea: Emoji passwords

Bdixbsufhdbe HEAR ME OUT

I know, I know, emojis belong with teenage girls on Snapchat but there are some theoretical benefits to emoji passwords.

Brute Force attacks are useless! With such a wide range of characters and so many different combinations, they just wouldn't be viable.

Dictionary attacks are less useful! Because those require...words.

They can be easier to remember. Tell a story with your emojis. Images are easier to commit to memory than combinations of letters and numbers.

Users would adopt the feature! For whatever reason, the general population fucking loves these things. So emoji passwords probably won't take very long to see use.

I don't know much about this last one, so I saved it for last, but I would imagine that decryption would be more difficult if the available values is quite vast. I dunno how rainbow tables and hash defucking works so I'll just put this here as a "maybe"

😀

Simplicity is a prerequisite for reliability.

I put those words on the wall in giant vinyl letters, and I point to them every time someone asks me "can you add a frontend button which checks this external API and stores the correlation between the amount of rain and the sales numbers of purple buttplugs inside the user profiles?"

People always ask for one more column in a table, one more paragraph under an image — they never ask for replacement or removal of items.

So I force them. Want a feature? Fine, if you point at something of equal or greater complexity to delete.

Worst error message management.

Can't you just display the valid pattern for an username instead of showing different error message everytime.

If plain ASCII and only letters and numbers same for them, just show only letters and numbers, and
what's that hourly limit.
I just couldn't sign up after wasting time thinking of an username.

A teacher from high school.

I finish the assignment early, shit on everyone’s head in terms of speed and performances and this guy first praises me, then slams the keyboard with random chars, letters and weird shit in an application which was supposed to only accept numbers.

“But… the requirements said…”
“I’m your manager and I am dumb af. Trust me, this will happen a lot irl.”

Aww SwiftKey, after two letters youre suggesting the right password, that's so nice of you...

Wait a minute... WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?

You're not a password manager and you don't do that with other passwords, what's wrong with you?

Fuck it. I'm tired. Anybody found me a rich husband? I'm ready to assume the role of a trophy wife.

1. Still no recommendation letter. My PhD application is hanging on a thread. If I were such an intolerable ass, someone could've at least told me. Or at least told me "no" when I asked them to write these damn letters.
2. I turned down a job offer, cuz a) offered salary was below market average for that role on that level, b) the guy who was supposed to be my senior and the only other person in the team gave the vibe that he disliked me, and c) asked the PM a simple question of what is his expectations of the product for the next three to six months and didn't get a solid answer. (Can't do magic tricks)
So I turned it down cuz I don't want to get stuck in another's swamp. (Been there, done that!)
3. I'm running out of ideas for the comic I was working on. As well, the backgrounds of drawings proved to be an absolute hassle. Gah.
4. So, the next switch is to the barista role. I have signed up for a lackey/intern/assistant role which starts in about two weeks. Wish me luck cuz if this doesn't work out I'm all out of ideas. Like, literally don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Which will make those who are jealous of me really happy, but I shouldn't make my life about what doesn't make enemies and frenemies happy, right?

We have this weird db naming convention requirement by the client all table names should be of 4 letters. And guess what somebody thought of naming a table 'ANUS'

A lot of people ranting about GDPR emails, but it's cool when you receive them by letter 😆

Translation: “The Password is to long. Please choose a Password that is not longer than 12 Characters.”
Oh, and the Password can only contain Letters and numbers 🙃

Developer came to our area to rant a bit about a problem he was having with Xamarin. A particular android device was receiving a java runtime error trying to de-serialize data from a WCF contract. What he found was not to use WCF and use WebAPI (or a simple REST service that sent back/forth JSON).

When he proposed changing the service (since the data transport didn’t really matter, he could plug the assembly into a WebAPI project in less than an hour), the dev manager shot down the idea pointing him to our service standard that explicitly stated no WebAPI (it’s in bold letters).

I showed him the date on the “standard”, which was 5 years ago. We have versioning on our sharepoint server, so I also him my proposal notes on the change request document (almost two years before that) stating we should stop using WCF in favor of REST based web standards. Dev manager at the time had wrote in his comment “Will never use REST. Enterprise developers prefer RPC.”
He just about fell over laughing when I showed him this gif.

Windows:
// Find for a solution
crashChecker.findSolution() {
wait(10000);
}

// Close app if pressing letters 30 times in a row, do the same for mouse click event
keyboardEvent.preLoad(countRow, app) {
if (countRow > 30) {
app.whiteOverlay();
app.crash();
app.close();
}
}

commands.kill(pid) {
App app = findByPid(pid);
app.askFor("ALT+F4");
}

// Render a page in IE
internetExplorer.renderPage(content) {
if (content.type == "json") {
return renderAs(content, "html");
}
if (content.type == "html") {
supportedElements.cutByHalf();
if (supportedElements.length > 20) {
bsod(Error.Memory);
} else {
wait(1000 * random());
return renderAs(content, "html");
}
}

commands.shutdown() {
int delay = 0;
if (apps.length) delay = 30;
if (updater.hasUpdates()) delay = updater.length * 40;

maybeShutdown(delay);
}

My Love I am writing to you from the front lines roughly 1 month into Microsoft Access. I hope you are doing alright and no harm has found you.

You might have heard the news that it has not been going well for us. The truth is we were not prepared in any way for this. We are constantly facing problems with the code and when we understand one function another two are referenced inside of that function.

The high command does not provide us guidance, truth be told I do not think they know what their application is doing. I am surprised we got this far. Our new objective is to focus our primary forces on the if/else and cases. The name for this assault is "Operation Logical Function" and I fear for my life as I do not know what is in those cases or where the road will lead.

Morale is very low, many of the soldiers spend time writing letters to their loved ones, recreating their blog for the 5th time or just daydreaming when they were free from this tyranny of legacy war.

For now , I long to be in your arms and smell your lilac and gooseberries cologne I love so much

My love and thoughts always with you , your John

!rant
My work does this contest where they email everyone a puzzle where you have to guess a safety slogan. They give you maybe 1-2 letters in each word and there are about 5 or 6 words. So I found a list of every word in the English language online, I imported it into a database and I ran a few queries to return all possible words for each, depending on the length of the word, and where the letter hints are placed. I haven't missed one puzzle so far. :D

p.s. I told my girlfriend and she said, "I am dating a nerd".

Company: *Doesn’t even send out rejection letters to applicants after wasting weeks/months of their time with their bogus interview process.*

Good employee at said company: *gets new job and ghosts company*

Company:

Recruiters, please understand that only because Java and Javascript share same Letters its not the same language ! Just like Ham and Hamster are not the same thing

Never name variables with single letters. Make them at least two characters, so they're searchable

When installing windows 10 on a computer, it asks for your Microsoft account and then sets up the username with the first 5 letters of your email. My email starts with William, so my user name was willi. Thanks.

- Project for a 40+b$ company.
- No business analysis.
- Only some 64 pages tech paper dividing the project in 4 iterations (pretty well written).
- « Please estimate the first iteration ».
- Can we do it in 2 weeks? Only items in first iteration, I think we can but we need a BA before we accept the project.
- Confirmed by senior dev front. 10 days, says we need a BA before we accept.
- Confirmed by senior dev back. 12 days, says we need a BA before we accept.
- UX/UI senior designer says he can't estimate such a technical, says we defo need a BA before any estimations.

PM, who is actually the department manager, says OK we can do it. No BA and estimations are halved, UI/UX 2 days.

He fucking signs the contract.

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER, WE NEED STUFF FROM FUTURE ITERATIONS IF WE DON'T WANT TO THROW AWAY ALL THE FIRST ITER WORK.

PROJECT BECOME A CLUSTERFUCK.
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ANYTHING. THE CLIENT HAS NO CLUE EITHER.

The fucking dep. mgr assigns another PM and says he don't have time anymore.

NOBODY HAS A CLUE WHAT THE PROJECT IS AT THIS POINT.

We have 3 days left.

Whole team came to a conclusion: the only sane thing to do is to give our grouped resignation letters.

Thanks. It was fun while it lasted. Your dep. can go to hell.

Are you fucking kidding me Ubisoft? 8-16 characters??? Only letters and numbers???

PhD application saga:

So, the recommenders showed up. And one by one, the letters are rolling in. I am a little hopeful.

And also anxious since there's a mere 4% acceptance rate.

But now, we shall wait...

🐀
*Goes into hiding to anxiously binge-eat*

My mobile provider doesn't allow me to set a password that contains any other symbol than letters and numbers for the website where you can look at how much data you consumed (and can order new data, change plans, etc.). Are you kidding me. This is making shit insecure, you fucks!

If you type capital letters by hitting the caps-lock key twice, you don't deserve to use computers.

I don't even remember why the teacher asked us this as it was a first aid class, but it pops into my head every now and then.

Teacher: "What's the first three letters in any website address?"

Me:"htt?"
Everyone else: "www"

When you find php booleans values with capital first letters, and then you see this .....

The cleaning lady saga continues yet again..

Here in Belgium, cleaning ladies are paid with cheques. All fine and dandy, and apparently the parent organization (Sodexo) even migrated to digital cheques. Amazing!!!

If only they did it properly.

Just now I received an email with my login data.
Login: ${FIRSTNAME}${FIRST2CHARSOFLASTNAME}
Password: I won't reveal the amount of characters.. but it's not even hex. It's just uppercase letters, and far from what I'd deem even remotely secure. Hopefully I'll be able to change that shitty password shortly, and not get it mailed back, even when I ask for recovery. Guess I'll have to check that later - the person who made that account was pretty incompetent when it comes to tech after all. Don't ask me why they did it instead of me. I honestly don't really know either.

With that said, this is a government organization after all... Can I really expect them to hash their passwords?

How can you defend your ugly unstructured mess of a PR, when every spit-droplet infused spray of words from your mouth is full of syntax errors?

How can you call yourself a developer without being aware of basic logic? I ain't got no tolerance for double negations, not not true is just true, you doltish twat.

WHEN YOU TALK THERE IS A CLOUD OF RED SQUIGGLY LINES IN THE AIR FLOATING AROUND YOUR HEAD.

I mean what the fuck is up with eggcetera? Why are you just swapping out letters? What has the little ligature t in & ever done to you? Do I have to fucking replace & with 🥚 so your word diarrhea makes sense again?

NO. JUST PLEASE... STOP TALKING. YOU'RE RAPING LANGUAGE, AND IT WAS ALREADY BEATEN DEAD.

Unlike me, you have a degree in computer science... but how, how the fuck did you pass? How did neither your tongue nor code get stuck in a linter?

AND YOUR RESPONSE IS STILL: "YOU DON'T NEED TO LEARN WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH SCHOOL" ... "WHAT DOES IT MATTER, IT WORKS, RIGHT?"

NO, IT'S NOT RIGHT.

You're lucky I love refactoring.

I'll start with a medical grade steel scalpel and a long sharp hook. Maybe I can clean up this brain a little. See if the tests turn green if I cut some of this gray matter away... plenty of unreachable statements, so many unnecessary loops...

Might have to start from scratch.

Got fired in an email by the boss himself, because according to him I was doing poorly and we had to part ways. He couldn't even spend 10 minutes to say this in person. Maybe the funniest thing is that it was written in Translit (i.e. using Latin letters to write something that should not use Latin letters) with a lot of errors, and this is a guy who has founded several successful companies. This is one of two co-owners of the company, i.e. the business-oriented one, and the tech guy (the other co-owner) had left some months prior to that. I'm mostly glad that I had to leave.

So, what have We learned in this week (wk25)?

There are two types of websites.
The Website, which allows setting passwords Like "123", and the Website that says that your firstname is too weak and must contain lowercase, uppercase letters, requires three or more Numbers and at least two Special characters.

It takes me longer to write a cover letter than it would to write an app that generates customized cover letters.

I've found that suddenly and infrequently, for the past week or so, letters are missing from typed code, and I have to go back and fix them.

Now that is not super weird I guess, but as someone who tends to type quite accurately, and uses a high end mechanical keyboard...

I'm just wondering if the keyboard is broken, or if it's a brain tumor.

I've tried to test it, but every time a letter is missing I'm not actually completely sure I hit that key...

And considering the price of the keyboard, I'm also not completely sure which cause I prefer.

1. Naming all variables with letters of the alphabets
2. Not indenting (screw tabs VS spaces, I could use anything here)
3. Putting all src files in one directory
4. Writing the entire code without using any functions
5. Writing code and asking me to fix linting
6. Asking why they should follow language style guidelines

New password cannot be one of your four previous passwords.
Password must conatin upper and lower case characters, at least two numbers and two special characters
Password cannot contain five or more consecutive letters of username.
Password cannot include any _illegal patterns_.

Locked out of your system? Drive over to HQ and ask the admins to reset your password in person.

The cleaning lady

Yeah, I should not be at work this late, but it happenes from time to time..
Anyhow, she still doesn't know where the switches for each light are, so whenever she comes, lights start to flicker on off on off... Yeah, lightshow baby!! //read this in austin powers voice
I fear for people with epilepsy.. Yeah, I get it, push and toggle switches are mixed in pannel, but we do have a schema for each of them..ofc she doesn't use it..

And every goddamn time if I work later than when she leaves, she disturbes me to ask if I will turn off the lights when I leave.. NOoOooo, I will leave them on like an asshole.. :/ I once even wrote on the whiteboard in bigg letters 'yes, I will turn of the lights when I leave' and left it there for some days... coworkers were all puzzled/amused when they saw it.. //I know, shitty attitude on my part too, but I've repeated myself a dozen times already.. + I always turn off lights she actually manages to switch on and leave them like that, even the ones not in my part of office

And when she vacuums..well.. I usually get up and go on a cigarette break to give her space so she can do her job around my desk.. but she insists that I am not in her way and I don't need to leave... Well I prefer not to be proded and poked with the hose, thank you..

So yeah, fun times... O.o especially if working late due to some production fuckups I need to fix ASAP.. :/

Not sure why, but I had so much trouble writing 3 letters today

Wow, I'm going to have a hard time remembering this one.

IT have changed after so many years the password criteria for our machines, to the point it's a bit ridiculous.

Like I'm all for securing your accounts and using random passwords but, this is rough.

Minimum of 14 chars
Not the past 6 passwords
Must contain several %}*]=[^{
Must contains numbers
Must contain upper case letters
Must contain Lower case letters
Must not end in a number
Must sacrifice a virgin on every login
Must be changed every 30 days

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!
HOW CAN SOMEONE BE A FREELANCER/WEB DEV AND TYPE SO FUCKING SLOW AND HAVE TROUBLE WITH FUCKING LETTERS ALL THE TIME?!

I'm gonna push this mother fucker so hard that he will learn not to "lie" in an interview never again and become a fucking dev.

You can only use letters and spaces for names...
WELL FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOUR STUPID DEVS!
FUCK THIS!
(still a cool service tho)

According to my predecessor, naming variables is easy. You just hang a poster of the alphabet on the wall and start throwing darts. The letter you skewer is your next variable.

If you run out of letters, start again - but dual wield the darts

I wish we could have more letters in Alphabet :( :( . Got it in the morning and after a restar everything gone. Lost the haven of DVD drive.....

Worst advice about programming...
My discussion with my company sistem admin :
Me : you must always think that users are dumb and will make mistakes (like putting letters when db saves as number)
He : users must learn, if they make such mistakes its their fault.

My claim: I learned early in school to always assume that users are stupid and will always find bugs and exploits by coincidence. So protect your code from bad imput

Password policy for a big water company site in Spain.

Translation: Between 6 and 10 characters (only letters and numbers, no spaces)

In guess they have a VARCHAR(10) password field in their db?!?

team lead: what is the minimum lenght validation on the first name field?
dev: i decided to put minlenhgt 3
team lead: why? did you tests it
Dev: i tested it. 3 makes sense to me
Team lead: isint your first name 2 letters long?
Dev: oh i dodth think about that

I immediately discard job ads which contain cover letters as a requirement.

Gas station clerk: "with our phone app you can get a discount for fuel and car washes!"
Me: OK, I'll definitely try it out next time!

Me: *drive home*
Me: *download and install the app*

1_week_later.jpg

Phone: Out of storage!
Phone: Battery draining faster!
Phone: Gas station app uses 200-300MB and is running in the background

Me: *uninstalls the gas station app*

Never ever again.

Why would a simple thing like that
1. run in the background
2. use this amount of storage
??? I can't get my head around it. Seriously... 2-3 activities with nothing but text in them. 200 MB??!!?? Are you using fucking pictures of letters for the text, or what? a.jpg, b.gif, c.avi ???

Oh my god, that design is just... no.
Please no.
Comic Sans MS + Columns of letters = Satan

80% of the letters in "Intel" also appear in "Hitler" while none of the letters in "AMD" do.

Customer: can you set my forgotten password to "1"?

Me: there's a six signs limit in your domain. You have to use upper case letters, lower case letters and at least one symbol

Customer: "123Aa+"?

We have to set such passwords to avoid customers cancelling contracts....

I might have told this in other rants, but this thing (requested from the client) is one of the worst thing I've ever done.

So we were developing a website to find the stores of a certain brand across the country, specifically: Italy.
In Italy, a lot of towns have accents and apostrophes in their name.
Client managers wanted ALL DATA to be capitalized, including letters with accents, but the client management was using Windows and Windows doesn't simply let you enter capital letters with accents from the keyboard, so the client requested to make a procedure to turn every apostrophe into an accent, therefore a town named like "CA' DEL BOSCO" would be "CÀ DEL BOSCO" (which is wrong) as they just couldn't bother copy-pasting from Word.

An important thing to notice is that most Italian towns with apostrophes don't have accents and most towns with accents don't have apostrophes, and that specific routine couldn't figure out what to exactly, so we ended up having all the stuff messed up.

The feature was a total SHIT, but the client was extremely happy with it, so we didn't even bother arguing with that.

Apparently USPS tracking numbers are case sensitive... I missed a delivery today so went online to check the status.

The code was RAxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTR
x=numbers

I first typed the letters in lowercase and it said package not found...

Really???!!!!!! Don't you think all those numbers are already too long...

So, among the ridiculously long list of password requirements, password is not case sensitive BUT it has to contain uppercase and lowercase letters?

Question: What does screaming typos in all capitalized letters in a job posting communicate?

Being a programmer for a while now it always irritates me to try to explain what I'm working on to friends and family. I forget what I knew before I developed. I'm always like "I made the strings in the database- oh I mean the words...well they're actually more like strings of letters- well anyway I made a code to sanitize the user input- I mean make it so it is secure before uhhh saving." I spend so much time watering what I'm saying down I forget what I'm talking about

It's not even funny. It'd be funny if one single person in my family or friend group understood what I meant to some degree.

Applied to a job I knew I was a perfect match for but never heard back. Wondered why but ah well. Applied to another and go to edit my cover letter to find out I had "joined the company when I was three years old" inside of it. Note don't write cover letters at midnight when your tired.

My bank sent me THREE identical letters for switching my account!
So what do we think, system or user error?

Nothing big, but the time I felt the most useful and awesome guy in the world was when I wrote a script creating PDF cover letters from a csv file with contacts names for my gf. A bit of Latex and python, a few hours to make it resilient to special characters, but the look of relief (she would have done it by hand) and admiration in her eyes truly made me feel proud :)

Looking for a job as a developer, any type of developer:

Requirements: all skills starting with letters A to M.

Nice to have: all skills starting with letters N to Z.

Well, thanks :/

I can't be the only one who hates it when people pronounce GUI as "gooey". I pronounce the letters. Anyone else?

When you open a non-minified file with tons of difficult calculations only to see, that every variable is around 1 or 2 letters. :'(

So today a client requested that the domain name in the address bar should be all capital letters because of corporate design. Don't get me wrong, this is a valid request for someone who has no experience in the IT world. But he refused to believe me that it wasn't possible. He even claimed that he has seen it at least hundred times and called me incapable. I don't get clients.

So, I wanted to find a new way to arrange my language's alphabet. Atm, I'm loosely using latin's system even though my system is weird;

A B K D E F G H I IE SH L M N O P R S T U V

So, I remember that another language (I think Japanese) uses a poem with every letter to figure the order of their letters, so I decided to do the same.

Only problem is: My current word list is very limited, some of the letters I needed only existed in specific words (aka, the word for "Dark") so I ended up making a very depressing poem.

Enjoy! Or not.. I'm not going to tell you what to do.

English translation below. I also will post images of it written in my language's script, as well as one line in my language's cursive script (I'm not doing the whole thing in cursive because fuck that)

Senarseha:

Seh ninfuat seh nem fieta; Seka sato nem fiekm juna jenes sermin.
Seh ninfuat sif nemsin netua niet; Seka sem sedma nemat sargo no
nrokniet sam fiekmin sehim sepra.

Sehim sinta nem nara niv nakliet.

Seh nem sine fieta.

English:

I say I am well; But all is dark before day begins.
I say it isn't too much; But this place is a farm of
preasure that blackens my soul.

My mind is ever in agony.

I am not well.

I'm working at this company where I have to update their app both for Android and iOS and it was originally coded by what seems to be one guy, that has written some of the worse code I've seen (I've seen pretty bad code when I was at uni), there is so much uncommented code, commented code with no real reason on why it's commented, variables that are one or two letters, Lots and Lots of magical numbers for things like images! And for the first few weeks working on the iOS app I was also still learning objective-c and had to look at his code for reference, I cringed so much.

I take pride in my commented code, I take pride in writing description for methods and having my variables at the top of a class and explain exactly why it's a constant. I'm also only just a recent graduate.

This guy that worked out this app is a senior developer, now working on security software for a bank, how is he even allowed to code?

I've been asked to work a Sunday next weekend; and like an idiot I agreed. Wasting a beautiful summer day inside designing software for a company to push more fast food product and contribution to obesity and diabetes in the world.

This is my life, and I hate it here. I hate this industry. In my 15 years, I once took off for 11 months and lived out of two bags through Asia and Europe. I spent 5 months with just a car driving across America. It's fun, but non-sustainable and I had to find a job afterwards both times.

I need a way out of this cycle. I need to contact professors and get letters of recommendation and get into a PhD program (I have a masters already), but finding the time after exhausting days at work is .. well .. exhausting.

The most I can do after work is go hang out with friends or do something, but if I come straight home, I just fall asleep. I'm tired all the time.

WTF Woke up this morning and found my email used to register to a website called fiverr.com!!

What is even worse is that at the end of the email where they have that section of: this email was sent to ..., the name is random letters

Even more ironic that website does not allow access from Lebanon ....

I think it is time to change my email, been getting a lot of spam into my inbox lately, though Gmail has a good spam filter :\

Today, this made me think: My bank limits the password I can choose to 16 chars, and only letters and numbers are allowed, no special chars. Meanwhile on Typeracer.com I was able to use 60 character password, including numbers, letters and special chars.

Crazy weather in here. There is a little sandstorm. It's pretty windy, even the outdoor advertisement letters are moving and the sky is brown :v

The thing is that, in order to go back home, I must walk 4 or 5 blocks (from the place one of my co-workers can leave me), but with this wind I'm afraid of getting sand in my eyes (I don't have glasses). Another option is to take an Uber to my house, but it takes too long to arrive to the office.

What can I do? Do I take the Uber or do I run to my house?

Cengage get your shit together.

I'm paying $200 fucking dollars to use your online learning platforms, not actually fucking work. As in don't freeze for 5 seconds after I type 2 letters into your search bar.

Oh and BlackBoard you like of shit. Your text boxes are absolutely fucking broken. Thank God we're ditching you, you pile of shit.

Let’s continue with the last rant.

Sometimes, when I wrote notes to myself that are extremely, extremely secret but I don’t plan to use it for more than a day, I use alef-bet.

I have to admmit I’m a disaster with sofit letters and vowels, and that’s why I don’t make secret and long lasting notes in this alphabet (that actually is not even an alphabet, it’s an abyad).

Well, I guess I have too much deadtime 😂

What I tried to write is “Echar una llamada a las 10:30” (Make a call at 10:30). I hope I didn’t write some stupid stuff instead XD

I’m not jew, but I find this writing interesting 🤔 the most hard way to write I’ve ever tried

The difference of 5 letters can be significant using "this" or "self" instead of "localhost" (added in /etc/hosts) looks much nicer and is faster to type.

My small collection

2 DD 8" floppy disks
2 MD 2-D 5" 1/4 floppy disks
2 HD 3" 1/2 floppy disks
1 Jaz disk
1 unassembled 3" 1/2 floppy disk
1 PalmOne sticker to learn the letters of Graffiti 2 (I had a M100, but I do not anything related to it anymore.)

!rant I just put my phone in my pocket with the devrant app open.

I take my phone out again about 10 minutes later and i'm in the process of making a new devrant account....

So somehow while the phone was in my pocket, it must have clicked the logout button and sign up button and had entered random letters for the email name and password section.

Boy, i'd like to know what my pocket (or Ass) wants to rant about....

Computer engineering : Insanity!!!

Today a friend of mine was assigned to make a Client-Server Encryption using Sockets. The guy did a great job applying BlowFish algorithm, but the teacher was disappointed because she couldnt map letters to the encrypted text and she declared the program to be wrong!!!

the feeling when you work 9 hours a day and you are waiting to get home to work on your own apps. getting home takes an hour. After arriving home your girlfriend (who was home whole day doing nothing) tells you that you should go to buy some stuff and we got some letters so you should go to post office as well....

"The password must have 7 or 8 characters (numbers and/or letters)”
says Movistar, the biggest ISP and telecom company in Spain ... I can't even.

Fried potatoes with mushrooms.

In Russian, if potatoes was fried with the mushrooms, the word "fried" (жаренная) contains two letters "n".

If potatoes was fried on their own and only then you added mushrooms, the word "fried" (жареная) contains one letter "n".

You can replace frying, mushrooms and potatoes with different things, but as soon as the concept of "processing ingredients together versus independently" persists, the rule applies.

Software Engg here, applying for PhD after working 2 yrs @top5 giants.

Everyone is saying, without any "research experience", I stand ZERO chance of admission.

So, I'm expected to leave my 7 figure job, be someone's bitch for 6m to get a paper , and then maybe, JUST maybe I will be eligible for admission. WHY CAN'T I JUST LEARN IN THE 1ST YEAR OF PhD ?

STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD GET INTO PhD ALL THE TIME. EVEN SOMEONE WHO CANT CODE FIBONACCI USING DP, GETS IN BY SHOWING FAKE RECO LETTERS(CASH), HIGH GPA (GATHERED BY LICKING EVERY TEACHER'S ASS), AND "RESEARCH EXPERIENCE" FROM PRIVATE UNIVERSITY BECAUSE THEY ARE TOOOO DUMB TO GEY INTO GOVT UNIVERSITY . (Seen myself)

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I Don't get into PhD, this year, I'll probably loose my shit.

The past couple of days have been, like:

- I can’t focus on my side project
- I can’t bring myself to study for the AWS certification exam I’m taking next week
- I haven’t had the will to do a single code challenge
- It’s hard to write cover letters for jobs when no one has responded to a single job application I’ve done in the past couple of weeks
- Even doing things that traditionally give me joy ... bring me no joy.

Is this what burnout feels like?

My company email:

- It's time for the monthly password change!
<writes the usual passwod>
- The password must be over 50 characters long!
<adds more letters>
- The password must have numbers!
<adds some numbers, though it's getting irritating>
- The password must have special characters!
<wtf?? Adds a pound character>
- The password must have at least 20 different special characters!
<da fuq???>
- The password must be at least 50 characters, only special characters and invisible tab/LF/CR characters and it must be changed daily!
<head explodes>
- Thank you! Now please sign in with your new password for 200 times per day.
<closes the laptop and starts using Remington type writer>

Usually these remainders start popping up during the 1st vacation day. When you return to the office, the account is already locked.

And then you wonder why people have the passwords written on a post-it or as a plain txt file in SkyDrive.

!rant

Sometimes when I have a 10s break, I think about what I did to get here, and what to do to get... somewhere alive (if possible)

6 years ago, I got my high school diploma in letters.

5 years ago, my depression started while I went to a development / management school. Dropped off one year before graduation, but I prefered to stay alive than having this diploma in my coffin.

1 year ago, I got this (kind of shitty but it pays well but it has drupal so fuck) job and my depression ended.

In two weeks, I'll get back to school for this last one year that I'm missing, so I'll finally get a better diploma.

Within 4 years maximum, I'll leave France to start a new / better / better paid life in Canada.

One hell of a ride, ain't it?

Server admin: "When do I need to make this config change for you?"

Me (in my head): "You mean the one I put a note in the change request ticket about in ALL CAPS and surrounded by asterisks saying 3pm (aside from the scheduled time field that the ticket requires), and the one we then subsequently chatted about where I reiterated the criticality of the timing about and the one I copied you in the email chain about that said the time in big, bold letters the time? THAT config change?!"

Me (IRL): "3pm, please."

(does not inspire confidence, though better to be asked then they just go off and do it whenever the mood strikes I suppose, which HAS happened)

Was working on a client's project. He had given clear specs. Work went delightful with less or no hacks. Then I get asked to add a extra feature which I had little thought about. Now I think it's a small hack and can be done. But here I am. One hack leading to another. I am too deep into ugly hacks. Maybe I should stop software development and join postal service to sort letters. I feel so incompetent.

If hiring managers really want to hire based on skill, what they should be doing is testing for one thing:

The ability to take a specification, written in general language, notice deficiency, communicate with the 'client' (manager) to hash out what needs done, and the (explicit) ability to read documentation on libraries or tooling outside the dev's core skillset.

If a dev can read a spec, talk to a client to work out whats lacking, and then identify what they need to know and where to find it, thats 90% of the skills they need from what I can see.

tl;dr version of it, is they should be explicit about the requirements for reading/implementing specs and finding the correct documentation.
Something along the lines of
"can you form your letters? Are you able to follow instructions on the back of a cake box? Then there may be a position waiting for you!"

Had an interesting application for a web / fs position the other day. Some guy in his 40s sent a CV, along with a bunch of 5+ years old reference letters (recommending him for things like PHP 5.3 and ExtJs 4). A bit outdated but okay.

And then, he put in a list of NPM packages he used. Not just relevant frameworks like Angular & React, or tools like Webpack and Babel. No. A list. Of. NPM. Packages. There were things like UUID there, which is literary a single function!

I don't judge whoever wrote this line in one of the projects I've been working on

return 0.ToString()

Like, really, there has to be a LOGICAL, and REASONABLE explanation behind it, right?... RIGHT?!

Today's rant will be brought to you by the letters A, W, and S.

I stayed up all night, ALL NIGHT, and finished this cool new feature, which is an integration between two technologies that tmk has not been done before. In short, I invented a thing last night.

Then at 5 fucking 30 this morning my EC2 fucking died. No SSH, no HTTPS... nothing... can't get into it to see what's up.

Put in a support request to AWS and finally went to bed. Wake up this morning to still nothing.

Can't wait for AWS support, try stopping and starting my instance... nevermind I'll have to re-setup SSH, and VS Code, and Workbench.. (which why the fuck can't I keep an IP through a reboot in the first fucking place!)

But nevermind that I was willing to do all that... this piece of shit won't start up any fucking way.

Fuck.

Now I have to rebuild this fucking EC2... and I could try to snapshot it... but that would probably fuck up too, so I'm just going to do it by fucking hand like I do everything else.

Fuck AWS.

I created some test entities specifically for our staging site. Written in all capitalized letters in the BIG TITLE of the entity I included DO NOT DELETE. This is very clearly visible in the CMS. What's the first thing the content managers do?

You guessed it.

I guess if plain English doesn't work, I'll have to use Kindergarten rules and put a custom lock on them so they can never be deleted.

Muad'Dib fullstackchris can already predict the future, in a few weeks: "hey!!!! fullstackchris, I can't delete these test entities!!!!! whats wrong with the system?!?!"

sigh...

"Typography is a beautiful group of letters, not a group of beautiful letters." - Steve Byers

I wanted to create a microcontroller website. It would feature simple circuits and microcontroller code to build things. The intent was to show absolute beginner concepts to people. Since I am older than the whipper snappers out there I thought I would have concept of some old man running the website.

I found cartoon artwork featuring an old man and I also got the domain oldmanmicro.com. I then created a bunch of pages featuring some really basic circuits. I setup an affiliate program with amazon to provide kits to people and embedded those into the website. This site was going to take a lot of creativity. I struggled with what to put on the site. This was going to take time. At this point I felt pretty good with my progress. It looked nice, the links were good, etc.

Then I did web search for oldmanmicro. I found my website in top hits. I also found something else... The 3rd or fourth hit down was some fucking old dude with a micro penis website. WTF! The worst possible combination of letters in my domain name produce this terrible experience. I was already struggling with content ideas, and this just demoralized my efforts. Thus ended the tale of the oldmanmicro.com. Perhaps the micro penis guy bought it, I don't know. I am afraid to look.

This was my very ignorant adventure with not researching a domain name thoroughly.

So,

A) I suck at digital drawing.
B) They have not invited me to the third interview like they said they would in the second interview.
C) I am still working on the PhD application. Still think the CV is bad, the SOP sucks, and back and forth emailing professors about recommendation letters. I am not built for this, but who is. So out of comfort zone. So unrelated to actual research or brain capabilities.
D) Moving in with parents is all fun and games and "I can do this", until you get stuck inside with them for over a month because of lockdowns.

... I hope next year is going to be better...

How can you tell the difference between "AI" and "Al"? Who the fuck designed these letters?

Footnote: lowercase "ai" & "al"

People doing javascript without semicolons should die !!!! Just kill you!!!!

And if you use less than 3 letters for naming, there is a special hell that awaits you, when we murder you after a lot of suffering!!!!

just saw a production level code, all the fucking variables in the code are in capital letters🤪😵😵😵

Insert name.

António

The name can only contain letters.

Antonio

Name not found.

YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!

If anyone read my last rant, I talked about how I wanted to buy a new phone with a subscription line, but they didn't allow me because "the system says you already have one and you're over due with the payments"

FUCKING MORONS, I don't know who coded the system but I will find you and bury your head in your own shit!

They use people's RFC (Mexican Tax ID number) to create an "account" and allow buying a phone. The ID it's composed by:

NNNNYYMMDDXXX

Where N are letters from our name, then they use our birthdate's year, month and day, finally they generate three unique characters to avoid ID clashes.

Well, this stupid fucker who coded the system thought it was OKAY TO STORE ALL BUT THE CHARACTERS THAT MAKE THE ID UNIQUE.

Fucking fucker...what were you thinking?

!Rant

Wrote a crawler and now has 18 million records in the queue. About 500.000 files with metadata.
1 month until deadline and we have to do shit many things.

Now we discover we have a flaw in our crawler ( I don't see it as a bug ).. We don't know how much metadata we missed, but now we have to write a script that scrapes every webpage that we've already visited and get that metadata..

What's the flaw you ask? Some people find it funny to put capital letters in their attribute names.. *kuch* Microsoft.com!! *kuch*

And what didn't we do? We didn't lower case each entire webpage and then, only then, search the webpage for data..

I have a confession to make.. I have sin.. after 8 years of coding in the dark I've joined the light..

How did this happen? Well whenever I would decide to change my dark theme to another dark theme in VSCode, normally I would arrive at the light themes in the list, and for some reason the reading felt more pleasing to my eyes, so I started researching as to whats the best theme for the eye, and why does the light theme feel "more right"?

So it turns out that there isn't any difference for the eye, but that maybe because of the white paper black letters the eye finds it easier to focus on the letters rather than visa versa.

And here I am coding in the light for a month now and it feels great I guess?
Keep in mind I was one of those that would see light theme users as mudbloods and muggles. But I can't deny that the light theme + blue filter makes my eyes more rested.

I don’t care how many tests you’ve passed, how many certificates you have on your wall, or how many letters you put after your name. I can tell if you’re an idiot one way or another.

Was talking to a cousin of mine who's a priest and who spent 10 years in the Vatican, apparently they have 2-3 servers devoted specifically to acting as a firewall processing the data coming in and out of its network and it's a continuous stream of people trying to hack it, like think it would be pretty cool to see what way they have to whole thing set up, might see if he could take me on a tour (might even get a look at the private archives, though apparently it's mainly boring letters about popes meeting their mother and stuff

"Type is a beautiful group of letters, not a group of beautiful letters." - Matthew Carter

One of our customers is a minor telco, which has been taken over by a bigger one. Some of the customer documents, welcome letters and so on, are generated by our system.
First of all, the new owner wanted us to re-brand it all for free. Well, we didn't (maybe you understand). I wrote an offer for the whole package including some fixes, sums another 9000 $.
Of course, they have to discuss it now,they told me. But in the meantime - they seriously asked us to black the former company name by hand on each letter using a marker. No shit buddies!

When its saturday morning and you're on a bridge because the migration is still failing 34 hours in and the PM mentioned the vendor doc that he 'trimmed for your benefit' and replaced with his terrible doc, and you beat the original out of him and basically read off the section title "Exactly the error you got and the steps to prevent and resolve" and section 2 "big bold red letters explaining how to avoid it" and you instafix it. #wherewereyouonthursday

Not exactly a dev enemy, but similar.
A new radiation protection regulation has been in force in Germany since 2019. October I finished a super duper important document for this and this has been with the TÜV ever since. First there is nothing happening and then there are allegedly inconsistencies in it, which, however, all of which were due to shoddy work with the "expert."

There is a german word for this type of person: Krümelkacker.
He faults every little thing in side-by-page letters, causes long delays, and in the end is often wrong.
But I have to work with him -.-

!dev
This thing is eating away at me so just shut up and listen.

I have started applying for this uni for PhD (don't judge me) and for that, I will need recommendation letters, right? So I emailed two of the people who have already agreed to write me recommendation letters, to confirm the details that I'll give the said uni to contact them. Emails were sent out on Thursday. It's now soon to be Tuesday and I haven't heard a thing back. And this is abso-fucking-lutely killing me!!!! (There's still another to be emailed but he's a bit high and mighty and I'll email him after I get feedbacks from these two about my motivation letter and CV.)

Like, when you know my whole future depends on a single email of yours, saying that I'm a good PhD candidate (and oh boy, that is a joke; considering that I'm applying for literally one of the best unis in this particular subject in the whole world... I'm well over my head, aren't I?) why would you keep me standing on one leg just to confirm your contact details? I mean I know I'm overreacting a bit considering the deadline is yonks away, but still, urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

!rant
Rejection letters...
Gotta keep searching!

Student Account Password at the university. No changes the default. It's their DOB and first two letters of the name.

Injection steps:
Open Database ( I am the Placement Representative )
Copy DOB
Paste
Add the first two alphabet
Unlocked

Reading documentation started feeling like reading a novel…

…but there are thousands of characters and they all have 3 letters names!

What do y'all write to introduce your intentions in cover letters?

I'm so tired of pretending to be *passionate* about another laundry/recruitment/food delivery startup.

Can't I just say I like the number on the paycheque and snack bar?

What I need is an automatic banner that pops up at the top of the screen, saying:
YOU'RE ON THE WRONG BRANCH YOU RETARD
In big red letters.
No idea how to go about automating that, and I suspect it would probably be on the screen more or less permanently, but I reckon it's a useful tool.

One month remaining until the new European Union regulation will be brought into force.

When you search for those letters here, you’ll see a lot of developers bending over to the EU and being happy about it. Some of them are even happy that it will kill a lot of small and medium businesses.

Large companies like Google have found ways to bypass the law, so regulatory forces will earn money by flocking small businesses or individuals with decades-old debts that will be also paid by the grandchildren (40 million euro).

I told interns in my startup to code a GAN only using Numpy. I received 4 resignation letters the next day

well, that escalated quickly...
today a coworker was asked if he could write a query to find customers which placed orders matching some criterias. so far so good. he write the query and put the result into a spreadsheet and gave it to the lead.
"i need it in another format" (he did not specify any format before nor did he tell which columns he is interested in). 2 hours later the query was finished.
then, the coworker got a call from the leader. he wants to see us both in his office.
"okay, we need to write a personalized mail to every customer with the orders in a spreadsheet as an attatchment. we also need this on paper as not everyone reads our mail. we want to send letters. the whole process needs to be finished in half a day and we want it automated. i do not want to have one of the sales department waste 2 hours writing stuff himself".

well, you can imagine my thoughts on that.

the personalized text is not finished. we wasted another 3 hours thinking about how to solve this crap.
luckily i have some projects from the past which can do this shit with some changes... but what the fucking hell was this?

Imagine having a font where two DIFFERENT letters look the SAME

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

Do you think it’s appropriate to use the phrase "dried" in commit messages to refer to removing duplicate code? (DRY = don’t repeat yourself)

I just used it and I’m not sure if it’s ok because some devs might not understand it and the the original letters from DRY went away and became "dried" so it might be even more cryptic.

On the other hand it’s so much more concise having "dried type X" compared to "refactored the code so that it doesn’t contain duplicates of type X"

i'm lost as fuck in my physics class my teacher decided to use the unicode smile ☺︎︎ instead of x in the equations instead of helping me??

the fuck?

I spent the whole day coding in python (usually I code in php or perl) and this language is a fucking joke. C'mon, why everything have to be done in such a weird way? And don't say it's python way because it's bullshit way. Want some examples?

", ". join(str(x) for x in array)
to join array of integers. wtf is that?

True|False
why in hell you need the first letter to be uppercase when your own fucking standard says to use lowercase letters in eg. var names and method names. why?

math.isnan(float(x))
to check if a variable (expected to be integer) is NaN. I won't fucking comment that...

Even prolog don't have such stupid things

Bought my first VPS, because the shared plan we are using is shit.

Spent just half an hour trying to log in, because upon registration they encouraged a strong password with simbols and everything.

But in reality a root password can only contain letters, numbers, underscore and minus sign... The fuck is wrong with you? Reducing the entropy is one thing, but really fucking up the most essential part of a VPN setup?

So I just found out that multi-line editing can copy a matrix of letters and paste it on other lines. This is amazing. Imagine being the person who thought of this feature.

I love IRC. It seems more fun than forums. You get to talk about programming without people hating you for whatever reason. (Unless you do crazy colors with blinking letters.)

The genius design of “Techno-city”, now defunct tech retailer.

By merely rearranging letters of the brand name, designers created a whole narrative. The flexibility of Russian language allows that.

Translation:
They aren't Sith
Techno-city
Shadows of their cells
There are hundreds of them
They bring networks
This packet carries them
Carry the next big thing

Variables as single letters or numbers, just why????

Even as i type this rant the letters appear after some lag ....
Why is everything so slow ? Uh it's that time again....

ChaseBank is getting up my nose. Twice in four business days my account was flagged and I had to change my password for 'security' purposes. I spent the better part of 90 minutes in a futile attempt to find out why, when there's been no suspicious activity on my account, I'm being flagged. My father contacted a branch manager near him who told him to dial the priolrity customer service number and key in the letters (I shit you not) HO HO. I called the number. It's the same damn number I'd been calling. I called the branch. They told me I'd definitely receive a call back last Friday by 1800. No call. So, yesterday I called the manager of that branch, verified its location, told the manager he was supposed to call me by 1800 last Friday, and Chase Corporate would be in touch with him soon to explain that when you tell a customer you'll call them, you'll fucking call them.

So, I move house with my amazing, already configured and stable router with built in VPN, DDNS, Port forwarding and DHCP addresses.

Received ISP shitty router at new address and want to use as modem only, so I go read the manual.

"Bridge mode requires you to configure your other router with PPPoE and the ISP's credentials"

Landline is not working, so I cannot call the number to retrieve my password. After 2 days of waiting, engineer visits, installs master socket, dial tone yaaay.

Call number to get password, automated voice message has such a bad sound quality that I cannot figure out if it's saying F or S, and there are two of those letters.

Put ISP router in bridge mode, set other router to PPPoE and put credentials, nothing. Try with F and F, S and F, F and S, S and S... Nothing. Put it back to dynamic IP address, it works.

I resign myself and manually configure everything I had on the good router to the ISP one. A few issues with my server and DDNS, but hey, internet works.

Start missing the other functionality, try the password idiocy again. Nothing.

Next day, go to work, talk to a colleague that lives close and has the same provider: "I just put it into bridge mode and it worked".

Go back home, bridge mode on ISP router, Dynamic IP on good router, no credentials. It works.

Why do I always overcomplicate stuff?

Writing hebrew in Latex using a template that doesn't support UTF-8 is the most archaic shit I've done lately. I feel like some sort of a caveman.
This fucking encoding inverts all letters so it can support right to left. 😓

A buddy of mine sent this to me from a first year procedural programming course.
The email was in regards to an assignment where they had to print some statistics. The caps letters are the response from the lecturer...
Integers with decimal places hey?

It’s a nice bug from apple side to have their Xcode IDE have the letters upside down like this

People who write open letters on medium or anywhere on the internet. Bitch this is the internet everything is an open letter

Three syntax elements, pixels on screen.
By Unknown (for privacy), 2021

In this installation, the Author's desire to prove the whole world that stupidity is achievable with just 2 syntax elements is... self-evident!

Observe! The finely crafted letters composing this installation in their beauty! While the middle element is purely a distraction (one could argue it's there to be sure a critical issue doesn't happen even if the default value is already `true`), the sides of the installation reveals the true horror.

As the vision of the observer is attracted to the center, the peripheral vision sends the informations to the subconcious, making the observer slowly realize both that the Author willingly compiled `.less` files with postcss and that .less files are in the css folder, proving that stupidity is demonstrable in just two syntax elements.

A masterpiece.

Just saw this question on quora asking if saying ess-kew-ell is an indication that someone doesn't know SQL. I say SQL because there's no goddamn ee or kwell in there YOU'RE ADDING LETTERS THAT AREN'T THERE BUT SOMEHOW I'M THE MORON?!?!?!

Today the government from Costa Rica announced their solution to tax double any UBER charge registered to debit/credit cards.

Their logic is to pretty much do it for any commerce that includes the letters UBER. Like something out of your first Unity C++lesson

People that argue that anyone who doesn't understand their one or two letters long variable names are idiots.

Quitting nicotine and caffeine and all the letters on the screen are fucked up. How have I made it this far without killing myself? Nobody actually wants to be around me anymore and I’m haunted by my isolation. Fading skills and fading life force.

Today I sat with my manager wanting to show him the analytics.
I started typing the address and the chrome prediction went up so I pressed enter.
Unfortunately I typed only the first four letters and the prediction disappeared so I googled something totally different 😫

This is another high school story. mostly because i’m in high school.

like most schools we have horrible forced passwords. Our school recently purchased microsoft 365. which means we all use outlook for our emails. the logins for our district follow the sand format.

s + first five of last name (x’s for missing letters) + first letter of your first name + the last three of your student id.

so for example Sean Peterson 456705 would be speters705. since we have outlook we can look up a persons name and get their email which gives you the last three of their password. All passwords start with a 4 and most are followed by a five so you pretty much can get 5 out of the 6 numbers in their password.

so to mess with my friends i signed into all of their accounts and messed with their emails so they thought they were getting random emails. and then i made word documents on all of their accounts and just pretty much messed with all of their school stuff.

so that’s my “hacking” story. my district doesn’t allow you to change your password so i’m pretty much stuck. pls help.

If plan A doesn't work, just remember there are 25 more letters.

Thinggs to consider before adding non english letters/words to your url patterns:
1. Don't do it, you won't have a good time.

I LOST FAITH IN HUMANITY!

searched vim on ddg, found porn. Fuck me.

Looks like there’s no exception to the “3 letters rule”

In these dark times, it's inspiring to see that a country as insignificant as Australia can demonstrate to us how things can always get worse.

By passing a law mandating that encryption must be broken, in secret (like the US's National Security Letters), at the demand of the Government, the two biggest parties have colluded to destroy Australia's tech sector.

This is the same government that has been whining endlessly about using Huawei LTE equipment in Australian infrastructure "because it might be secretly compromised". Now the same is true of Australian equipment, by law.

My favourite part of all this is how there will be firmware updates for devices sold in Australia, in order to comply with the new law. How well do you think those backdoors will be secured? How thoroughly do you expect them to be tested, given Australia's population of only 25 million?

How can any Australian company expect customers to trust them now?

Request for software: a program that prevents shitty coworkers from committing with the message “fix”, random letters, or other nondescript messages.

Okay so I am a computer science student, and here's what my parents and relatives think I do-
typing random letters and numbers into the computer system until it magically turns into some working mobile app, which is their expectation. While I am coding some addition program just for them to see 2+2=4.

Print("Hello World")

When people design a brand new Postgresql schema (case sensitive) using a mix of upper and lower case letters.
Only to then proceed and escape every single table and column name in every single query.

I installed sendgrid on my server today for the first time. Now I have several questions to you more experienced programmers.

1. Is there anything I should know about using sendgrid for server generated mails?

2. Can I still use my own configured Mail-Server (eg. for sending emails with Thunderbird?

3. How does sendgrid work?

4. Are there probably better alternatives? (I first wanted to use mailgun, but those fuckers want me to have a credit card for registration)

Fuck the EU.

Their privacy laws fucking suck and don't even get me started on their braindead cookie law.

I think we should be able to make laws for them and not just them making laws for us.

First order of business is that by law all EU bureaucrats must have "I'm a fucking moron, punch me in the face to accept." tattooed to their foreheads in large bold letters with the rest of their face in intricate detail tattooed explaining what a fucking moron is so to educate their subjects.

Does anyone else include greek letters in their JavaScript variable names just to fuck with co-workers?

Plugged in a type c hard drive.
Changed the drive letter from another internal hard drive.

Type c hard drive is locked from safe removal. Process "System" accesses .\$RmMetadata

Seriously? Microsoft?

ai is surely helping me write exceptionally good letters.

Ahhhhhhhh Welp
I don't use uppercase letters but special symbols. But sure, fuck @#€&-(/?;:'"* and all the other ones. What a brain dead, face fucked moron came up with this.

I am waiting for the day a dipshit like that starts working in a hospital, forcing to name my child "BrIaN666".

What's the strangest Assembler or Pseudo-Assembler you've ever encountered?

I wrote a Z-machine (Infocom's virtual text adventure interpreter) and it was quite an interesting interpretation of bytes:
- The first 3 bits of an instruction tell you the opcode category, the rest are the instruction
- The 2nd (and maybe 3rd) byte tell you in 2-Bit chunks the operand types.
- text is encoded in 5-Bit chunks, with special characters for CapsLock that double function as padding (if your text doesn't align with the 3 letters per 2 bytes).
- and of course there are 5 different versions that all work slightly differently (as in CapsLock becomes Shift or "this special character isn't in use anymore")