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Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?
Me: sure, of course.
Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.
Me: ... wait, then it's not done.
Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.
Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.
Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.
Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.
Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.
Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.
Dev: I don't.
Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.
Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.
Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.
Dev: but it is done.
Me: no it's not.
Dev: it is, look.
Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.
Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?
Me: are you going to make more changes?
Dev: yes.
Me: then no.
Dev: why?
Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.
Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.
Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....
Dev: but I am happ.....
Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.
Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.
Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.
Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.
Me: there you go.32 -
A computer science degree doesn't mean we can fix everything, it just means we can understand how everything went so terribly wrong5
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Just signed a contract for a new room!
This means I'll be going from 500kbs to a general 30-50mbs 😍21 -
I work remotely. This means that sometimes I work with no pants on.
...ok I work with no pants on all the time.7 -
PSA: An exclamation point is not devRant's version of a hashtag. It means 'not,' as in != means 'not equals.' So when you type '!rant' and it's a rant, you're creating a theoretical assertion error.
Let's all do our part to keep devRant theoretical error free! 👍😁 *Cheesy music*10 -
"full stack" means "you'll be doing everything from gathering client requirements through data architecture up to the UI design and of course implementing all of it"
"backend" means "you'll be coding everything from database through server-side code and client-side code including html and css"
"we need you on-site all day every day" means "we have no idea how and why we should use repositories with remote access despite being a company developing an internet app, and we don't trust that you would be working anyway"
"interesting challenging projects" means "the same boring crap as every other company, running on an incredibly botched and dezorganized codebase".
"competitive pay" means "actual pay is around 1.5 times the minimum allowed pay, and everything else is being siphoned off into (stupid and useless) 'benefits' like massage and fitness discount coupons"
"friendly collective having fun at numerous company events each years" means "it is mandatory for you to participate on our weekend drinking retreats but you'll only find out when we fire you because you're 'not a team player' after you refused to participate on those"9 -
That weird moment when you don't understand what ++ or -- means in devRant cause you Python developer15
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So I just found out sorting by "algo" stands for algorithm.
I speak spanish and I thought it means "something" 😂.2 -
It's the biggest satisfaction to know that Wix means wank in German!
"why not do it yourself" just adds to it.6 -
Life lesson learned:
If your girlfriend asks you what SO means, it's "Significant Other",
NOT StackOverflow.7 -
Internship has taught me that as long as you know one good language then you can do anything in other language with a little bit help from online.
Unless it's c++.
c++ has pointer.
That means you're fucked.
That also means you're in for a lot of fun.9 -
Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"8
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The good news: I'm finally getting a company phone yay!
The bad news: this means I'll be on call soon 😅19 -
It may not look like it, but the fact that these lights are on means that my breadboard computer will work, in theory
5 -
Project Manager: "So that's the feature we need you to add... T-shirt size?"
Me: "Depends what shop I go to, sometimes L, sometimes XL-"
Project Manager: "No, no. T-shirt size... Estimate. Small means hours, Medium means days, Large means weeks."
Me: "Oh... 4 hours."
Wtf.10 -
Api means monkey in icelandic, and this is what comes to mind when someone says that a function calls the api.
6 -
When a normal person says "IMHO", it means "In my humble opinion"
When a programmer says "IMHO", its means "You are wrong".6 -
Just scored my personal red flag bingo in new project:
- engineers who work there for 20+ years
- their own in house build tool
- "we have Jira so it means we are agile"
- "we have Jenkins so it means we do Ci/cd"
- git adoption is "in progress"15 -
The fact that we can’t control all the functions and organs in our body means that we don’t have admin privileges.4
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I wish the internet would drop support for emoji. Its fucking impossible to tell what anyone means anymore.26
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The whole family is going out of country tomorrow. You know what that means?
It means 24 hours coding and no one to disturb 😎1 -
Someone gave me a web method that return a boolean.
The Boolean tells me if the operation went well.
True means everything went well
False means something went wrong
But
It throws exception when something went wrong.
Basically they implemented a Boolean system to check if everything is alright but I also have to add a try/catch if something is not right.9 -
CSS !important
always annoyed me cz I read it not important where it actually means the opposite... Damn it devs get your shit together!1 -
A fun fact, dev in hindi/gujarati means "God".
Now I can't help but wonder if those languages were developed by time travellers!5 -
Believe it or not… This means shit is doing what it is supposed to…
EDIT: Sorry for length web client users .-.
15 -
If a program says that an unknown error occurred. It probably means, that the programmer was too lazy to handle an exception.3
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lol. i applied for a job, and the human resource manager followed me on github. does this means i have gotten the job . lol2
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It always gives me a smile when my boss (ceo, no technician) calls me and says "let's do some software architecture together!". He has no idea what this means, but he likes the term. Sometimes, this call just means "let's have a beer together"2
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Note to others: if I start a sentence with “with all due respect....”
What that means is “you’re a fucking arsehole”3 -
"C'est en forgeant qu'on devient forgeron", a French proverb.
(Means : it's by smithing that you become a blacksmith) -
abstract class :
protected virtual void doSomething()
{
//some stuff
}
child class
protected override void doSomething()
{
base.doSomething();
}
IMHO this is what go fuck yourself means.......4 -
I hate all of the people that think "agile" means "do everything at the same time, with no cost". Or, other fuckwits, think that "agile" means "fuck plans, dev team will figure something out".
Both of these types apparently did not read any publication about the subject.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!7 -
Sometimes I wish I had a manager to rant about.
Not having a manager means the whole fault is mine :(6 -
Just asked my girlfriend if she knew what CSS means and she said "Isn't that a kind of secret service?"😂😂😂5
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What docker means:
Sorry pal, service names mustn't contain spaces
What docker says:
desc = name must be valid as a DNS component1 -
When you forgot to remove this personal Toast in android code and publish the code to production
Next day around 100 people were confused what does this message means because it's written in English but not an English word.
BTW it means "It's closed" :)
4 -
Today teaching the product managers what the channel in "selected for development" in Jira means.
Guess what? IT MEANS THE FEATURE IS READY TO BE DEVELOPED ON, NOT SOME HALF-BAKED CROCK POT IDEA WITH A TWO-SENTENCE DESCRIPTION DESCRIBING ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL!!!1 -
Left one company on Friday, starting a new one Monday. This means the only programming I'm doing this weekend are the fun personal ones!
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In Android O RAM statistics got moved to developer settings.
So this means you are a Dev if you know what ram is??6 -
mongo in slang means idiot, which comes from the term mongol or mongoloid, which is a deprecated word that used to be used for sufferers of down syndrome. So MongoDB means "Down Syndrom Data Base"
Also mongo means huge, so it may have been named after that.9 -
Genuinely thought "CLI" meant Command Line Interface. Only just realised it means Common Language Infastructure. How have I been a dev for this long :(10
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- The phone has 32GB total storage space
- Kita means Others
idk folks, smth looks fishy to me...
12 -
Its mine office setup, just a laptop and two pictures in which one is of UFO.. Well UFO means U Fuck Off..
Interesting part is..
Everyone comes at my desk and says "nice UFO".. They really don't know what does it means.. 😁
2 -
Recently got promoted to Senior Engineer position. Should I be worried for not knowing what that 'Senior' means? 😳21
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“Falling in love with code means falling in love with problem solving and being a part of a forever ongoing conversation.”- Kathryn Barrett
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!dev
What I feared is happening.
I will barely see my gf for some time (until summer).
I just feel like crying, wanting to do a lot of things with her, barely getting to do so.
On one hand, I have a gf, on the other hand, fuck my life for worsening good things that happen to me.
P. S. if any of you fuckers unironically complain about the fact that I have a girlfriend (and you don't), go to hell22 -
I'm surrounded by idiots.
Yet they keep getting promoted.
It seems being competent and skilled at your current role means absolute dog shit.4 -
Alright, ladies and gentlemen. It's Friday. You know what that means.....
Don't touch nuffin' and DOCUMENT.1 -
Wow, some guys here have the means to travel to the future!! Cool!! I too want some of that action!
8 -
Traditional programming means spending *days or even weeks* to write instructions to make the software do what *you* want it to do.
AI modelling means spending *weeks or even months* to tweak instructions just to find that the software does whatever *it* wants to do.3 -
I think this is a new record... # of "Productionized" personal apps running at once
... Or maybe it means its time for another full reboot...
2 -
If anyone says it will take a day, it actually means a month.
1week means 1month
1month means 3months
3months means 1year (will take some for the BA and Product Manager to realise actual the problem they are trying to solve)
1year means you won't be working on project, they'll outsource it.6 -
German saying:
Die Hälfte seines Lebens
wartet der Admin vergebens.
means in English:
The Admin waits in vain for half of his life.1 -
Me trying to find out what some word means
1. Google
2. Find a good result
3. Notice some other interesting word
4. Repeat -
Am annoyed. Not mad, just very disappointed. So the guy I emailed yesterday about doctoral research positions hasn't responded yet, and this is causing me somewhat of rejection anxiety, specially considering recent events.
Honest to god, if this one fails I'm abandoning academia and research and making cool stuff. Fuck society. I could make so many useful life saving stuff, but they didn't let me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, I'm enjoying my current minimum wage occupation. It's stressless and repetitive and I pay fuckall for tax. I didn't want to go antisocial, but I was driven here. So there. This is why y'all can't have nice things. 🎤💧8 -
Well that would probably be my classmate. He sucks at programming but I wanted him to do at least something. So I dictated him code he should simply type down: "for ( blah foo colon foos ) { ..." And he's like "for ( blah foo .. foos ) {". Colon means " Doppelpunkt" in German which means "double dot" if translated literally. So he wrote ".." instead of ":".
Fuck meh2 -
I just found out that anyone looks like you can open your new iPhone X. That means all my clones can access it. Shit!4
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Dear Users
USERNAME@example.com and username@example.com means same thing. What the fuck is wrong with you?3 -
Firewall is down. That means no access to developer environments. That means more time for DevRant.1
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What does this means?
`cd ~`
P.S. I know what it means I've to show it to someone. Please answer it.14 -
Nice, nextcloud just added support for ActivityPub and that means federation against Mastodon, GNUSocial, Pleroma and soon Diaspora8
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I’ve been thinking that “low code” generally means high body count. You can take that as a pun, or not.6
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I'm actually making something for someone now. That means I have to make sure it works in IE. Which means no ES6. I die a little inside every time I type 'var'. 😫4
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Non technical Co-founder comes up with some batshit crazy idea and says it’s Agile because he thinks that means you’re not allowed to argue with it.
Dumb people are dumb.4 -
What would be the most semantic option for a domain if it's just a personal space? .com means commerce, .net means networking services, I think space means... space, the sky... and it's a bit long... .dev? .xyz?
Should I just forget about this and either go with a regular .com or something cheaper I find?10 -
Everyone talks about quality, but they don't know what it means/ don't want to invest the time to do things right.2
-
Just realized being a developer means fixing bugs that were caused by fixing other bugs that were caused by fixing the other bugs.
3 -
Did you know “Agile” actually means “Never change code”?
Neither did I until I started working here haha help me9 -
https://www.devrant.io/rants/163227
that means ranters have posted 163227 rants till date.
happy ranting!!!1 -
FREELANCING should be renamed to COSTLANCING. Many people thinks that freelancing means free of cost.
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I've been writing various forms of OOP for three years and just now learned exactly what static means
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At our school, they teach "digital creativity" instead of ICT. They also teach coding... Which they think means scratch....5
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Should you not know or not have realised it years after your study: "video" literally means "I see" and "Volvo" (the Swedish car brand) means "I roll" in Latin.3
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German "deutsche Bahn" 6 days after a storm... Red and crossed means that it it isn't coming at all.
8 -
Figure I can simplify the code if I have the compiler handle *some* of the register allocation.
Eh? What do you mean "NP-hard"? Dafuq's an ENN-PEE?
**frantically reads wiki**
I can proudly say that I understood absolutely nothing; CS stands for cocksucker or rather abysmal failure at the most basic forms of communication, I don't just sit here all day expecting you to flawlessly prove my point with every swallow of breath you draw, yet here we are.
Perhaps one factor involved in producing the generalized cluelessness of my colleagues, I mean their "imposter s*ndrome", has a bit to do with how fucking thick you've formulated this glorified bollocks you call theory. Were not for your incompetence, arcane crackheads like me would simply __not__ be capable of rising to the top of this field entirely via determination and a big salami, therefore I owe you both a debt of gratitude as well as every last word and sign of total disrespect.
As interesting as the study of computational complexity can be, if done correctly that is, you idiots are stuck in a mathematician's abstract mindset in a field entirely devoted to application of ideas rather than *just* the ideas themselves.
To answer my own question, it means there's no known efficient solution. That's it. The part about nondeterministic polynomial convolution of an irreductible rectosigmoid junction can apparently be skipped altogether. Anyway, I solved the problem with the computational equivalent of pizza sticks while you were out in the field mentally jacking off to λ.
Lecture is over, now go clean up the ethereal masturbatory residue if you will, I have mystical el Khwarizmi type-shit to solve via further clubbing of abstraction through liverwurst bologna of immense proportions. ^D3 -
Some logic I'm developing packs three different states into an f32: NaN means do nothing, +0.0 or positive number means polite request and -0.0 or negative number means force override
Yeah, I don't know what to say...4 -
I went to a machine learning meet up.. I asked every one over there to explain me K-means algorithm. I got K different answers, then I applied K-means algorithm on K different answers to form K clusters..1
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Currently rewriting a python library because the author clearly doesnt understand what crossplatform means, and this language is fucking terrible.2
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Why does ppl think that Saturday Sunday means u need to go out and only then u can enjoy ur life...11
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For me mobile means devrant or hacker news.
What's app - hardly twice or thrice a day to talk to my wife.2 -
If the are rebooting The Matrix franchise, that means there is a chance Nokia will reboot the 7110.2
-
For the US: Daylight savings "Spring Forward" at 2a. Really that means we go from 01:59:59 to 03:00:00.4
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To all the business owners, it's good to have employee's. It means you get to do their jobs besides your own too.1
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I'm on a remote contract (has no centraloffice at our company) and was hired to work remote.
New PM wants to reenergize culture. Everyone has to come in and no more flexible hours. Lack of space means no more dual monitors. Lack of desks means we push desks together to form a "conference table." More people working means slower internet. Three people have separate meetings? Someone can stay, someone can sit in reception, and someone is in the hall.
But hey... we can see each other now and we're all available to one another.2 -
I just learned a new error code: error 40, it means user error since they sit 40cm from the screen6
-
So, right now we upload production code by means of FTP.
I said it would be better to use continuous deployment using Docker, but they said it was overkill (I work at a small company).
Because manually uploading by means of FTP is so much better right...6 -
today i was told that being lazy means not doing a task... and not writing a script to do a task... how preposterous
-
API deadlocked today. Why? Failing to connect to the database node apparently means outright denying service to everyone.
-
It's Friday...
It's crunch day...
Here in SG speak (Singlish), we say "chiong ah"... means "to rush"...9 -
Me: so zero is an integer meaning it means the number value equivalent of nothing but it’s an integer and actually represents a number that exists. Null means the number doesn’t exist and is not an integer.
Idiot in the back seat: So ThEyR’re tHe SaMe5 -
// NO RANT
Its Thursday.
In Israel Thurdsday is the last work day of the week.. And this means:
this._goGetWasted(beer, wiskey);
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sigh spent whole of yesterday dealing with shitty remote desktop connection, come in today, still shitty...wait what...ahhhhh no way.
*Connect HDMI to monitor and move RDC to monitor* Connection issues gone...ahhh fuck you.
#4KLaptopProblems #WhoKnewThatWasAThing2 -
Talking means more breathing. Breathing means more CO2 emissions.
Pointing instead of talking is just one step closer to saving the environment, and saving the world. -
When you wake up late, then have an event you're going to this evening. Means I get less than 3 hrs to code.
-
Winning in the chrome dinosaur game means playing without dying till the internet comes back in and it automatically terminates the game screen !!
-
Wondered what that checkmark on a youtube channel means. Googled it. The summarized official answer:
3 -
A backdoor means an open port so...
If anybody in including the admin checks the open port he will definitely notify the port and probably will close that port so...
Maintaining access means nothing?8 -
When back-end developer starts doing front-end stuffs.
Shouldn't "!important" means "not important"? -
To marry a woman means,
to really bind that sockets.
Keep the idle rates low on this one
and ping a lot.2 -
I'm not looking forward to today, lots of hardware to send out, which means multiple trips up and down 3 flights of stairs :(1
-
Does "meet the team" in the recruitment process means your hired, and what is the influence of business analyst in the recruitment process ?2
-
Reading the internets in 2020, I've seen an increase in the usage of the term "Orwellian." It has led to many Inigo-Montoya moments.3
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I spent 2 hours in an agile workshop with the "I do not think it means, what you think it means" guy.
When finished I could swear that if you asked the people what is agile, they would start crying. -
Seems like there's no perfect balance at work, good at what you're doing? Take that promotion, also now you handle this and that!
Mediocre little shit? uhhh we won't promote him/her but whatever they do something at least.
Man I love my job and my company but fucking hell it seems like people never stop demanding shit from you and when you tell them no they judge you and call you names, like seriously wtf? is there no fucking thing called balance?4 -
Sprint retrospective rescheduled, which means I can do actual work.
(Which I should have finished by now, but alas)2 -
Fuck you and your static typing! Ideologically, static typing is about formalizing the world, just like what nazis did. Static typing means nazi.15
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Is 'Add your 2 cents' a reference to anything because I see it as the placeholder for comments and don't understand what it means?3
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For the challenge:
The challenge of living within your means when you start out then realising that no company gives the payrises and/or bonuses stipulated as possible in the contract or 'a sure thing' by the recruiter, such that what was comfortably your living within your means becomes living well outside your means thanks to inflation, and no pay review to make things match.
OR
Because I like to do work that either never gets used, or gets rewritten and fucked by the apprentice before anyone attempts to use it.2 -
Each day waiting for others to deliever means one day less for me to do my work. Deadline still stands. Sigh.
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It's fucking irritating when your work gets stuck because of others. This means either team management sucks or someone really irritative.3
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so we started new branch to develop new feature. then merge to staging. then from staging merge into master. master means production for us. this is website so this means continous integration. how you deal with versions? what i do wrong?
-
apparently; indirectly allocating tasks means that it doesn't chew up your bandwidth,
so where is the deliverable? -
There's nothing worst than legacy code without documentation. That means I have to spend more time understanding the legacy code than actually coding.4
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What does 317A7 means? Any guess! crack this name and you shall be awarded (only the first one!) with chunk of bitcoin....4
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