My Friend: Dude our Linux Server is not working anymore!

Me: What? What did you do?

My friend: Nothing I swear!

Me: But you were last on it?

My friend: Yes. I just wanted to run a bash file and needed to give it permissions.

Me : WHAT DID YOU ENTER???!

My Friend: Chill man, just this command I found on the internet
chmod -R 600 /
chown -R root:root /

Me: WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN ROOT AND GOD DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU EVEN USING SOME RANDOM COMMAND FROM THE INTERNET. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS OR JUST ASK!

My friend: Ok I did something wrong, how can I fix it?

Me: Did you make a backup or rsync of the server?

My friend: No. I just wanted to run this file.

Me: You holocausted the server. FUCK MY LIFE

Chatting on Slack with a junior dev:

[Junior Dev] How do I get that file from the server ?
[Me] ssh into it and then use scp

I see Junior across the room, literally saying "shshh..." at the computer.

Packed my stuff and quit that day.

At university we had lessons in C++.
First lesson: Make a calculator
Second lesson: Make an application that uses sockets to connect to an FTP-server and downloads a file. No FTP-libraries allowed.

So a few days ago I felt pretty h*ckin professional.

I'm an intern and my job was to get the last 2003 server off the racks (It's a government job, so it's a wonder we only have one 2003 server left). The problem being that the service running on that server cannot just be placed on a new OS. It's some custom engineering document server that was built in 2003 on a 1995 tech stack and it had been abandoned for so long that it was apparently lost to time with no hope of recovery.

"Please redesign the system. Use a modern tech stack. Have at it, she's your project, do as you wish."

Music to my ears.

First challenge is getting the data off the old server. It's a 1995 .mdb file, so the most recent version of Access that would be able to open it is 2010.

Option two: There's an "export" button that literally just vomits all 16,644 records into a tab-delimited text file. Since this option didn't require scavenging up an old version of Access, I wrote a Python script to just read the export file.

And something like 30% of the records were invalid. Why? Well, one of the fields allowed for newline characters. This was an issue because records were separated by newline. So any record with a field containing newline became invalid.

Although, this did not stop me. Not even close. I figured it out and fixed it in about 10 minutes. All records read into the program without issue.

Next for designing the database. My stack is MySQL and NodeJS, which my supervisors approved of. There was a lot of data that looked like it would fit into an integer, but one or two odd records would have something like "1050b" which mean that just a few items prevented me from having as slick of a database design as I wanted. I designed the tables, about 18 columns per record, mostly varchar(64).

Next challenge was putting the exported data into the database. At first I thought of doing it record by record from my python script. Connect to the MySQL server and just iterate over all the data I had. But what I ended up actually doing was generating a .sql file and running that on the server. This took a few tries thanks to a lot of inconsistencies in the data, but eventually, I got all 16k records in the new database and I had never been so happy.

The next two hours were very productive, designing a front end which was very clean. I had just enough time to design a rough prototype that works totally off ajax requests. I want to keep it that way so that other services can contact this data, as it may be useful to have an engineering data API.

Anyways, that was my win story of the week. I was handed a challenge; an old, decaying server full of important data, and despite the hitches one might expect from archaic data, I was able to rescue every byte. I will probably be presenting my prototype to the higher ups in Engineering sometime this week.

Happy Algo!

You go to an accountant to file your itemized taxes in a couple of hours, you pay them at least $200.
You go to a lawyer to incorporate your business in 2 days, and you pay at least $800.
You hire a photographer to take pictures of your 4-hours wedding and you pay them at least $1500.
You go to your car dealership to fix something and they charge you about $125 hourly labor rate.
Now, ENLIGHTEN ME, how did you come up with the idea that the web application I will create for your business in 8 weeks (design, code, test, deploy, server administration) should not cost more than $500????!!!!!

Just got BUGS list from our Client and fuck- 95% of bugs are not even bugs :|

- No, changing the (not pre-decided) verbiage is not a bug
- Adding two more pages in the app is not a bug (what the fuck :|)
- No, APK file not running in iPhone is not a bug (goddamn :|)
- No, adding these "fuckin new" functionalities is not a bug (seriously ? :/)

AND

Mr "used to be a good coder" PM,

Getting "504 Timeout Gateway" error because Server is temporarily down is NOT a fuckin frontend bug

And No, writing Javascript with a proper design architecture is not a "complicated" way of coding
and fuckin No, Global variables and functions without any architecture don't make the programming "kind of better"

ps: And VB dot net is not a fuckin scripting language, VBScript is.

Thank you,
"buggy average coder"

I have this one friend who thinks he is a tech guru just because he plays video games a lot and started to study cs for one year. Now he got a job as sysadmin and it is funny to hear him brag about the job in front of non-tech people because he sounds like a CSI Cyber episode, just throwing tech words at the people and I know that he talks bullshit.
But I have to admit, he knows how to sell himself. Probably that's how he got the job in the first place because it cannot be his experience.
Yesterday he called me, to help him edit something on a linux server. I told him "To edit the file type 'vi FILENAME' and then you can edit. I have to go now, I have a meeting." :]

The website i made has been hacked today.

Stored in their server.

They didnt give me an access for it.

The user account in the cms i used for updating content while building the website was revoked when the website is completed.

Now they ask me for the latest backup.

I have no backup because how the hell i do a backup when i got no access to the cpanel.

The only backup is the zip file for initial uploading into their server and the contents were added after the website is on their server.

That goddamn IT guy who wont give me any access for “securty sake” is calling me furiously asking for the backup and how to set up the stuffs from the beginning.

I thought he was the one who know his shit but i was wrong.

Fuck me?

No.

Fuck you.

But i still responding to him telling him step by step how to do shit with some swearing and sarcasm.

ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR SHITS, MATE

Write a small js function using setInterval to fire a request every second ... then copy paste the code 450 times (literally, not an exaggeration) into a massive file to create a load test script.

This load test script also had no means to gather metrics or test response times or anything useful. It was literally a “did the server crash” test.

Why the fuck did I set up GitHub and all the deploy scripts if your just going to fucking ignore it and edit directly on the server?!?
"Oh, I ran out of time"
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW SIMPLE GIT IS?!?!?
"git add file
git commit -m 'Queef farm'"
AND YOU'RE DONE!

Waaaay too many but let's go with this one for now.

At my previous job there was a web application which was generating about 1gb of log data a second. Server was full and the 'fullstack engineers' we called had zero clue about backend stuff and couldn't fix it.

Me and another engineer worked our asses off to figure this out but eventually the logging stopped and it went back to normal.

Great, right?

For that moment. I was the on-call server engineer and at like 3am I got called awake because this shit was happening again.
Sleep drunk with my phone I ssh'd into the server, not sure about what to do at first but then suddenly: let's chattr the goddamn log file...

$ chattr +i /var/log/logfile

Bam, worked, done, back to sleep.

(this comment + param marks the file in a way that it can only be read until the mark is removed, so you can't write to it or move it or remove it or whatever)

FUCK YOU PHP!!!! FUCKING HELL JUST FUCK THE HELL OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
8 GOD FORSAKEN HOURS SPENT TRYING TO ZIP SOME SHITTY FUCKING FILES IN A FOLDER ON MY WEB SERVER TO HAVE THEM DOWNLOADED TO MY CLIENT COMPUTER.... 8 HOURS UNABLE TO OPEN THE DAMN FILE AND THE ISSUE WAS "echo" & "print_r()" STATEMENTS GETTING TRAPPED IN MY ZIPARCHIVE BUFFER MAKING THE ZIP FILE A GIANT PILE OF UNREADABLE SHIT.
HOW IN GODS NAME WERE THOSE FUCKERS EVEN BEING ADDED TO THE ZIP FILE.

Fucking hell. Time to sleep.

So pm2 (a node process manager package on npm) just caused thousands of CI builds to fail because of an "optionalDependency" on a package called gkt which is requested as a tarball from a server that was returning 503. That package consists of one file which contains this

Soms week ago a client came to me with the request to restructure the nameservers for his hosting company. Due to the requirements, I soon realised none of the existing DNS servers would be a perfect fit. Me, being a PHP programmer with some decent general linux/server skills decided to do what I do best: write a small nameservers which could execute the zone transfers... in PHP. I proposed the plan to the client and explained to him how this was going to solve all of his problems. He agreed and started worked.

After a few week of reading a dozen RFC documents on the DNS protocol I wrote a DNS library capable of reading/writing the master file format and reading/writing the binary wire format (we needed this anyway, we had some more projects where PHP did not provide is with enough control over the DNS queries). In short, I wrote a decent DNS resolver.

Another two weeks I was working on the actual DNS server which would handle the NOTIFY queries and execute the zone transfers (AXFR queries). I used the pthreads extension to make the server behave like an actual server which can handle multiple request at once. It took some time (in my opinion the pthreads extension is not extremely well documented and a lot of its behavior has to be detected through trail and error, or, reading the C source code. However, it still is a pretty decent extension.)

Yesterday, while debugging some last issues, the DNS server written in PHP received its first NOTIFY about a changed DNS zone. It executed the zone transfer and updated the real database of the actual primary DNS server. I was extremely euphoric and I began to realise what I wrote in the weeks before. I shared the good news the client and with some other people (a network engineer, a server administrator, a junior programmer, etc.). None of which really seemed to understand what I did. The most positive response was: "So, you can execute a zone transfer?", in a kind of condescending way.

This was one of those moments I realised again, most of the people, even those who are fairly technical, will never understand what we programmers do. My euphoric moment soon became a moment of loneliness...

Laravel is the worst framework ever.

Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?

It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.

The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.

Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!

Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?

One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.

And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.

Mother of god.

I spent hours and hours last week to try and get OpenVPN working. I mean, OpenVPN is working perfectly fine (on a VirtualBox (nope no vmware for me on servers) machine on a friends' dedicated server) but it wouldn't get through! As in, every forwarding/firewall rule just didn't work.

Was seriously about to lose my shit just now when I suddenly noticed the term 'TCP' in a forwarding rule.

Looked at the .ovpn file: proto udp

I added the exact same rule for UDP as a forward within VirtualBox.

It worked.

Well, there goes quite some hours 😐

And solely because I didn't realise that I setup a forwarding thingy for the wrong protocol.

I feel very stupid now :(

To people who don't know how to use Linux: Just because I use nano instead of gedit or any other GUI text editor does not mean I'm showing off. Why can't you understand that ssh-ing into a server and opening a file in the terminal itself to edit three lines of configuration is much easier than opening FileZilla, connecting, downloading the file, making the changes and uploading it again. It's fine if you want to do it that way. But please don't judge me for doing it my way.

To people who are good with Linux: Can you please stop suggesting me to use vim instead, EVERY FUCKING TIME? I know it's more powerful, but I haven't been using Linux enough to have surpassed it's learning curve. Plus I google up how to use it and do use it when I have the need. Please let me be?

To people who tell me to use Windows for everything: Go suck a fat dick, you uncultured morons.

Me: Well, it's time to make a new app!
* opens up VS Code *
* opens folder selection dialog *
* creates a new folder called "notes app" *
* yarn inits that folder *
* installs react and react-dom *
* installs webpack, webpack-cli, babel-core, babel-loader, babel-preset-env, babel-preset-react, style-loader, css-loader, file-loader, html-webpack-plugin and clean-webpack-plugin as a dev dependency (install is pending) *
* copies a webpack config from some other project *
* creates a babelrc file *
* copies a yarn script called "build:dev" which would launch webpack *
* dev dependencies installed *
* tries to save *
* vscode doesn't save because files differ *
* tries to copy dev dependencies *
* fail *
* tries again *
* saves *
* writes bare-bones index.jsx *
* yarn build:dev *
* opens build/index.html in firefox *
* gets satisfaction *
* writes bare-bones App.jsx which is a react component but it's an entire app *
* yarn build:dev *
* opens build/index.html in firefox *
* gets satisfaction *
-- trim --
* walks out of his room to his mom's room where's sbc is located *
* grandma plays solitare on laptop *
* i ask grandma for a laptop *
* grandma gives me laptop *
* glues all components into App.jsx *
* yarn start:dev (magic of webpack-dev-server) *
* opens localhost:8080 in firefox *
* searches how to update a component prop *
* nothing found *
* registers on devrant and verifies his email *
* writes this rant *

Our website once had it’s config file (“old” .cgi app) open and available if you knew the file name. It was ‘obfuscated’ with the file name “Name of the cgi executable”.txt. So browsing, browsing.cgi, config file was browsing.txt.
After discovering the sql server admin password in plain text and reporting it to the VP, he called a meeting.
VP: “I have a report that you are storing the server admin password in plain text.”
WebMgr: “No, that is not correct.”
Me: “Um, yes it is, or we wouldn’t be here.”
WebMgr: “It’s not a network server administrator, it’s SQL Server’s SA account. Completely secure since that login has no access to the network.”
<VP looks over at me>
VP: “Oh..I was not told *that* detail.”
Me: “Um, that doesn’t matter, we shouldn’t have any login password in plain text, anywhere. Besides, the SA account has full access to the entire database. Someone could drop tables, get customer data, even access credit card data.”
WebMgr: “You are blowing all this out of proportion. There is no way anyone could do that.”
Me: “Uh, two weeks ago I discovered the catalog page was sending raw SQL from javascript. All anyone had to do was inject a semicolon and add whatever they wanted.”
WebMgr: “Who would do that? They would have to know a lot about our systems in order to do any real damage.”
VP: “Yes, it would have to be someone in our department looking to do some damage.”
<both the VP and WebMgr look at me>
Me: “Open your browser and search on SQL Injection.”
<VP searches on SQL Injection..few seconds pass>
VP: “Oh my, this is disturbing. I did not know SQL injection was such a problem. I want all SQL removed from javascript and passwords removed from the text files.”
WebMgr: “Our team is already removing the SQL, but our apps need to read the SQL server login and password from a config file. I don’t know why this is such a big deal. The file is read-only and protected by IIS. You can’t even read it from a browser.”
VP: “Well, if it’s secured, I suppose it is OK.”
Me: “Open your browser and navigate to … browse.txt”
VP: “Oh my, there it is.”
WebMgr: “You can only see it because your laptop had administrative privileges. Anyone outside our network cannot access the file.”
VP: “OK, that makes sense. As long as IIS is securing the file …”
Me: “No..no..no.. I can’t believe this. The screen shot I sent yesterday was from my home laptop showing the file is publicly available.”
WebMgr: “But you are probably an admin on the laptop.”
<couple of awkward seconds of silence…then the light comes on>
VP: “OK, I’m stopping this meeting. I want all admin users and passwords removed from the site by the end of the day.”

Took a little longer than a day, but after reviewing what the web team changed:
- They did remove the SQL Server SA account, but replaced it with another account with full admin privileges.
- Replaced the “App Name”.txt with centrally located config file at C:\Inetpub\wwwroot\config.txt (hard-coded in the app)
When I brought this up again with my manager..
Mgr: “Yea, I know, it sucks. WebMgr showed the VP the config file was not accessible by the web site and it wasn’t using the SA password. He was satisfied by that. Web site is looking to beat projections again by 15%, so WebMgr told the other VPs that another disruption from a developer could jeopardize the quarterly numbers. I’d keep my head down for a while.”

so um... several of my users access file explorer ONLY via Word.
How?
Well, open Word: File->Open->Computer->Browse (nb. thank you Word 2013 and onwards for making life miserable) and voila, access to documents, downloads, and server shares is gained.

...

Users... they will always find a way

The importance of version control. Had a school project at a real company and i didn't understand it so i said fuck it. Then someone asked me to alter the js library a little and push/pull that to the server. I thought fuck it, altered it and accidentally pressed save (automatic ftp upload). Suddenly the file was overwritten (that guy worked on it for 6 fucking hours) and it went from like a thousand lines to just a few. We did restore it from the browser. He said: either you're going to use git or you're out.

Then i started using git.

TLDR; I just screwed a production server and rendered it useless!!!

Long story:

I went to install a product that we built at the customer's site, and was given a Linux running server, to deploy our app.

I work in windows, and barely know the basic Linux commands.

So I look at the files in the home directory, and see that the are a lot of files, so I ask the customer if it is ok that I move all the files to a separate directory.

He agrees, and me thinking that I am smart, proceed to enter the following commands in the terminal:

mkdir old
mv /* old

Of course I got an error that I don't have permission so my next command was:

sudo mv /* old

And that was the end of that computer.

The amazing part of the story is that as soon as it happened, I understood so much about Linux.

The file structure, sudo, the power of the terminal, aliases and so much more...

Wait what's that? You don't use version control on Production servers?
You want me to do what?
You want me to rename every file I have to replace with an underscore and the date after the extension so it looks like this?
SHIT.JAR_01262019
You've got to be fucking kidding me right!?
No?
Oh the production server is down again?
Is it because we're not using the right Jar file?
Well shit, I wonder why that's happening...

Some fucker installed a keylogger on my Ubuntu laptop at home and registered it as a systemd service. From Wireshark, it's sending each keystroke to a server in France using irc. Tried accessing the server but the moron shut it down immediately. It's the last time am fucking installing code from prebuilt binaries. If I can't build it from source then fuck off your sniffing cunt. I was about to log in into a database from that machine.

UPDATE: I found the actual file sending the keystrokes but it's binary. Anyone know how I can decode a binary file?

So my friend and I are trying to launch his bot in his Discord server. I'm typing node index.js: nothing. He tells me to delete the points.json folder. I try launching it again. NOTHING. I then ask him what I do then, so he sends me another .js file. Well it turns out I didn't have Node installed in the first place when I thought I already had. Give if take a good 10 minutes later, the bot is online. My favorite commands don't work because I was missing those files.

Heck yes!

I implement a stack trace in my embedded systems!

Whenever a device crashes, it makes a stack dump in an unused part of ram.
After it has rebooted and is connected to the server again, it uploads the stack dump.

The server then opens the correct firmware elf file, walks the stack and associates the debug info from the elf.

The result? A beautiful stack trace with file names, function names and line numbers.

No more guessing where random crashes come from.

HO. LY. SHIT.

So this gig I got myself into, they have a whitelist of IP addresses that are allowed to access their web server. It's work-at-home. We just got a new internet provider, and it looks like I get a different public IP address everytime I disconnect and connect to the WIFI. And since it looks like the way they work on their codebase is that you either edit the files right on the server or you download the files that you need to work on, make the changes, and then re-upload the file back to the server and refresh the website to see the changes, now I can't access the server because I get different IP addresses. And it's highly inconvenient to keep emailing them to add IP addresses to the whitelist.

No source control, just straight-up download/upload from/to the server. Like, srsly. So that also means debugging is extremely hard for me because one, they use ColdFusion and I've never used that shit before and two, how the hell do you debug with this style of work?

I just started this last Tuesday, and I already want to call it quits. This is just a pain in the ass and not worth my time. I'll be glad to just go back to driving Lyft/Uber to make money while I look for a full-time, PROPER job.

By the way, can I do that to a contracting job? Just call it quits when you haven't even finished your first task? How does this work?

I decided to setup a little server on my local network just to make use of a 2TB harddrive I use to store videos.

Told everyone in the house I planned to grow the library over time and that they could access it all in a browser using my system name. It's become quite a fun venture and my video library is shaping up nicely.

Using nginx on a Dell XPS 17 with Ubuntu 16.04 to host a server that just auto indexes a shared directory on my external 2TB harddrive. Kind of an embarrassing rig, but it's just a hobby activity and I do plan to upgrade shit later.

The real fun has been getting to understand a bit more about video files. They used to be magic to me, as complex as their file extension. Now I run a script on all of my torrents which checks the video and audio codecs, converting them if they aren't supported by Chrome's and Firefox's web players, and outputting mp4s using ffmpeg. I feel like I have this stuff down fairly well now. Becoming more and more automated.

Next step is to port forward so I can access it from anywhere, but we'll see about that later down the line.

FUCK VISUAL STUDIO ANBD EVERYTHING IT FUCKING STANDS FOR. PIECE OF SHIT IDE CANT HANDLE MORE THAN THREE FUCKING WINDOWS AT A FUCKING TIME WHY CANT A BILLION DOLLAR MOTHERFUCKING COMPANY MAKE COMPETENT SOFTWARE FOR ONCE? WHY IS MICROSOFT SO FUCKING AWFUL IN EVERYTHING IT DOES? WHY THE FUCK IS THERE NO AUTOMATIC VERSIONING LIKE EVERY CIVILIZED BASIC FUCKING IDE THAT EVER EXISTS? WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING MANUALLY VERSION MY FUCKING FILES? WHY THE FUCKING FUCK IS VISUAL STUDIO FUCKING GOING TO A FILE I USED 300 YEARS AGO WHEN I DEBUG AN APPLICATION? MOST USELESS, UNINTUITIVE PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE IVE EVER USED. IF YOU ARENT USING SOME GODDAMN SERVER SOLUTION TO KEEP TRACK WITH YOUR PROJECT VERSIONS, GOOD EVER FUCKING LUCK RECOVERING LOST CODE BECAUSE FUCKING MICROSOFT CANT DO WHAT FUCKING INTELLIJ DID 5 MILLION FUCKING YEARS AGO

*wrestling commentator voice*
"In this weeks episode of encoding hell:
The iiiinnnfamous UTF-8 Byte Order Mark veeeersus PHP!"

For an online shop we developed, there is currently a CSV upload feature in review by our client. Before we developed this feature, we created together with the client a very precise specification, including the file format and encoding (UTF-8).

After the first test day, the client informed us, that there were invalid characters after processing the uploaded file.
We checked the code and compared the customer's file with our template.
The file was encoded in ISO-8859-1 and NOT as specified UTF-8.
But what ever, we had to add an encoding check, thus allowing both encodings from now on.

Well well well welly welly fucking well...

Test day 2: We receive an email from said client, that the CSV is not working, again.
This time: UTF-8 encoding, but some fields had more colums with different values than specified.
Fucking hell.
We tell the customer that.
(I was about to write a nice death threat novel to them, but my boss held me back)

Testing day 3, today:
"The uploading feature is not working with our file, please fix it."
I tried to debug it, but only got misleading errors. After about 30 minutes, at 20 stacks of hatered, I finally had an idea to check the file in a hex editor:

God fucking what!?!!?!11?!1!!!?2!!

The encoding was valid UTF-8, all columns and fields were correct, but this time the file contained somthing different.
Something the world does not need.
Something nearly as wasteful as driving a monster truck in first gear from NYC to LA.

It was the UTF-8 Byte Order Mark.
3 bytes of pure hell.
Fucking 0xEFBBBF.
The archenemy of PHP and sane people.

If the devil had sex with the ethernet port of a rusty Mac OS X Server, then 9 microseconds later a UTF-8 BOM would have been born.

OK, maybe if PHP would actually cope with these bytes of death without crashing, that would be great.

"Can't we extract the UNIX from Linux and use it as our server operating system?"

fml

Linux isn't even based on UNIX, but this piece of shit of a bitch of client was so freaking stubborn, and wanted a RAR file of UNIX from me

I'm losing my fucking mind right fucking here.

Setting an anti-csrf token in the index.php file ONCE. Yes, I triple trillion checked, only fucking once.

Print it to the page as test, fair enough, looks good.

Send an ajax request to the server:
AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT TOKEN 😡

Fucking hell.

*Opens some Computerphile video on YouTube in Chrome Canary*
CPU > hey ho dude, wait a minute..! I can't process all of this in realtime!!! >_<

Alright.. I think I've still got a copy of all their videos sitting somewhere in the file server.. perhaps I could use that instead.
*Opens said video from the file server in SMPlayer*
CPU > aah, thanks man. Now I can allocate 15-ish % of my resources to that and give you a good watching experience.

Web browsers are really great for being the most general-purpose document viewers, application execution environments (remote code execution engines as someone here called it), and overall be one of the most versatile programs on any PC's standard software suite.

But that comes at a price.. performance. And definitely when it comes to featureful fucking WordPress shitsites (shites?), bloated YouTube, Google, Facebook, and all that fucking garbage.. I fucking hate web browsers and this "Web 2.0" that people keep on talking about. Your boatload of JavaScript frameworks just to ease your own fucking development has a real impact when it happens on dozens of tabs, you know.

Besides, can't those framework creators just make it into a "compiler" * of sorts? So that front-end devs can flail their dicks in an shit-infested environment full of libraries and frameworks all they want, but the framework can convert it into plain JS code that the web server can then serve. Or better yet, the JavaScript standard could be improved to actually be usable on its own!

Look, I'm not a front-end dev. Heck, I'm not even a dev to begin with. But what I do know is that efficiency matters, especially at large scale. Web browsers being so overgeneralized and web devs adding a boatload of fucking libraries or frameworks or whatever, it adds up, both to the CPU's and my own temper.

(*) Quote marks because source code to source code isn't really compiling, but then uglified JS looks worse than machine code anyway so meh :/

Pulling my hairs off because a file is not being executed in the server.

Later realized I didn't even upload the file :(

!WTF
Take a look at how big my SSD is(220GB).
Take a look at how much space I can remove with MS Disk Cleanup.

So there is a very very 👌 small risk that I will now erase the whole Windows Update File Server at Microsoft, lets see what's happens 🤞

3 hours to get a js slider working in WordPress! Fine on local, 404 on test server... Capital fucking S in file name on test server...

Trying to setup a local Overpass API and Nominatim server (OpenStreetMaps data stuff).

The docker overpass image has been downloading a 38gb file for a little more than an hour now and it's coming closer and closer...

3..........
2............
1...............

100% YEAAAA.......

*docker continues to initiate the download of a new file*
"Hmm this can't be THAT bi......"

25gb

D:

Let's wait yet again..... I was so excited :(

Sent a corrupt .rar file to a client's nephew/cousin to upload on their server (he managed the hosting account) in a bid to buy myself some time to finish the project. It worked! I was given the login details to upload the work myself the next morning. They didn't understand Git.

Well, just remembered a fuck up one of my friends and me did. Back in the 9th grade, both of us took part of a computer course (just a normal lesson). He got me into programming. So after half a year we "hacked" into the school server. Tbh it was quite simple. The server did a backup each week in a specific folder. The problem was, the backup file had no proper rights set. Everyone had access to it. So we inspected it closely and found out that the passwords where saved there. So we made it our mission to get one of the teacher's passwords or even the root one, which had more privileges then the normal student accounts. After about 2 days we managed to crack one of them (using a hash table available for download). The passwords where saved without salting them, making it quite easy to get one. Now we were sitting there, having access to a teacher's account. So we logged in and tried to figure out what to do next. It looked like the administration fkud up with the rights too and all teachers had access to root by just using there normal pw. Well, the Grand final is coming. We put a script into the startup of the server (which restarted at 4:30 AM each Friday). The only line that was written in it was "./$0|./$0&"

We never got caught. And it was a heck of fun ^^

Got to a client, we are taking over their software dev and IT.

"you're not touching my code ". Listen fuck twit, a robocopy script is not fucking code.
"I wrote a 3500 line code for this company" no fuck twit, you wrote a whole lot of fucking gibberish that looks like someone shat out BASH and it met html along the way. It doesn't compile, it doesn't run, it's a fucking dormant file. You charged people for shit all.

Setting up exchange is also not a big whoop.

Moving them over to CentOS server (he had them on XP still), and writing enough code to qualm my frustration at people.

Fuck mysql charset shit. Pretty easy to forgot setting charset in server side config file. And after creating several databases/tables, boom! All in latin1. That's just so convenient. are you kidding me? Why would any modern database have their default charset to be latin1??? rather than utf8? Oh, just forgot again, that's utf8fuckingmb4 on mysql land.

So day 2 of my python automations.

I have spent 6 hours and a lot of stack overflow “research” to saved myself 45 minutes a day with file downloads (web & ftp and outlook emails), excel spreadsheets and data manipulation macros, all stored in a nice tidy zip file at the end.

Now to find a way to send to a web server for digestion 😎

And all of this in a poor 90 lines 😧

God damn why didn’t I look into this earlier?

Making a Package Manager from Scratch is hard.

Making a Scratch-like education coding software in XAML is hard.

Setting up a server with zero knowledge is hard.

Creating a new file extension for my project and making it work is hard.

But, as a student,

studying and coding is the hardest thing.

Same 24 hours for everyone, and I should code as well as study.

Time.

The most precious thing in Earth.

==========================================

NASA dislikes this rant.

clean_air_rocks dislikes this rant.

no_suicide dislikes this rant.

students_who_study_and_code_and_wants_to_do_everything loves this rant.

Before 10 years, a WordPress site hacked with sql injection. They had access to site, they modified many php files and installed commands to download random malwares from over the internet.

At first I didn't know that it hacked and I was trying to remove any new file from the server. That was happening every 1-2 days for a week.

Then I decided to compare every WordPress file with the official, it was too many files, and I did it manually notepad side notepad!! :/

Then I found about over 50 infected files with the malware code.

Cleaned and finished my job.

No one else knows that I did a lot of hard job.

I remember opening an old script file on our server for scheduled tasks, and thinking to myself; What idiot wrote this mess? It's unnecessarily complex, solving the problem in a convoluted way. And of course, not a single line of comments.

After reading it through and through many times to understand what each line did I kept repeating to myself; What an imbecile... Being this stupid should be illegal... Coding should require some sort of license to prevent idiots from doing this!

Then of course, it slowly dawned on me. I had written this crap one year before. I'm the idiot... 😐

I've commented every line religiously since then.

Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.

Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.

Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.

Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.

Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.

So, after weeks of reading spicy rants from all of you, I finally decided to join your community ; even if I'm only a student, I've encountered some solid crap in my internships.

Let's go back in time bois. Two years ago, I started my first intership at a Fortune 500 company (this doesn't exists in France, but whatever, this is nearly the same category). I was supposed to build some file sharing system for the office. Before getting into it, I briefly thought aboyt what technos I could use to build it and make a sweet interface for my co-workers, in 10 weeks, and not a single another day.

Expectations
> Nice team with devs that I could ask things about and learn solid tricks that would even amaze David Copperfield
> Having a nice dev environment

Reality
> Alone on this project
> No fucking dev environment, I had to build everything on Notepad
> No CI
> No SCM
> And, the worst, Ladies and Gentlemans,

I FUCKING HAD TO WORK IN A SINGLE FILE IN A CLOSED ENVIRONMENT.
NO WEBSERVER, NO DEDICATED SPACE.
I HAD TO REQUEST A SPECIFIC ENVIRONMENT IN A CLOSED CUSTOM CMS THAT WAS SERVING FILES, SO THIS FORMAT COULD BE READ ON FOLDER OPENING IN IE9 (FIREFOX FORBIDDEN).
YOU HAD TO MIX HTML, CSS AND JS IN A SINGLE FILE. NO SERVER-SIDE LANGUAGES, ONLY STATIC LINKS, NO FRAMEWORKS (if we can call jQuery, Bootstrap, Semantic UI and all these thinks "Frameworks").

> mfw at the end of the intership

Im going to fucking murder the QA team if they don't stop sender bullshit issues!

QA: hey dev, there is an error with attached files.
Me: okay what's the issue?
QA: it's just a random file that gets attached. Can you fix it by the end of the sprint(tomorrow)?
Me: I need to investigate it a bit before I can tell you how long it will take, how can I reproduce it?
QA: idk, it was just there.
*several hours of testing later*
Me: I've tried to cause the 'issue' on my local server, the test server and the live server. But I haven't seen it and I have no clue what could cause it.
*30min. before I go home*
QA: dev you have to fix it before you go home! Because we have some other important issues you have to fix tomorrow!

FUCK YOU AND YOUR IMAGINARY ISSUES I'M GOING HOME

My friend and I have been debugging this server issue where the server can't find the input file.

30 minutes passed, we checked, restarted everything, still no avail.

When I saw his safari browser, THE FULL URL WASNT SHOWING. The server was working, we just didn't see a redirect behavior because of apple fucking trying to fucking prettify everything.

GOD DAMMIT.

/rant

*wants to watch Re:Zero on Windows*

The files are on my file server, exposed to the Windows machine with Samba. But the Re:Zero directory isn't visible on Windows 🤔

$ mv "Re:Zero" ReZero
*Suddenly becomes visible on Windows*

What the fuck.. can't it do : characters? Something as basic as that? Microsoft, you.. you never heard of character escaping? I mean, Linux shells for example don't deal with certain characters very well either, so what do you do? Either "this", 'this', or this\ stuff, depending on some and the other things that I won't get into, but mostly it boils down to preference.

Meanwhile Windows: sorry man, can't do it >_< but I can fuck up your language, updates, privacy and files!!!

Fucking hell.. at this point I'm not even mad anymore. Just.. what the fuck Microsoft?

I did a job interview recently for a company and the test was something like this.

In ruby, write a web server that will serve a specific line number from a text file.

I thought up a simple solution and a more advanced solution, but I opted to go with the simple solution and submit my work quickly. I made a nice web server with tests and everything and it used the sed command to get the line number from the file.

Now, they had various instructions, like it had to perform. They asked how it'd perform with 10G, 100G files. I thought "Eh... it'll be alright."

The solution they were looking for was the "advanced" solution that I thought up, which involved storing a binary file of 32/64 bit integers that reference the byte-offset of the line they're looking for. Basically a binary index file.

This violates all of my sensibilities, because I would never build a database indexer like this using ruby, of all things.

I thought it was a stupid test, and how do these companies honestly expect me to spend hours coding and then tell me I didn't go far enough? It's unethical.

I actually followed-up with the "advanced" solution a couple hours after hearing I was out, just to show them that their process is flawed.

My university has impeccable data management. I needed to ssh into their Linux server for an assignment but it refused to accept my login. Which was weird because I could login to the same account on one of our websites just fine. I typed my password into a text file and then copy and pasted it into both logins. The Linux one failed but the website succeeded. After some experimentation it turns out that the Linux server only recognized my username if I typed it in all lowercase, even though when I created the account it had uppercase characters as well.

So let me walk you through the sloppiness that had to have occurred for this to happen. When I first created the account it must have ignored what I entered and just saved the username in all lowercase without communicating that to me. Then the websites that use this account must either ignore case for usernames or lowercase the user input before querying the database. Finally, the Linux server, despite knowing that all the usernames are lowercase, is case sensitive and won't recognize the username as I originally typed it in.

Can you guess what department manages the account, website and Linux server? The Department of Computer and Information Science. Incredible.

Fucking fuck you STRATO. This cancer of a german hosting provider just should be shutdown for crimes against reason. Our website got infected by some shit (I'd like to not state why, there is only so much pressure my main arterie can handle) and now we are supposed to remove that file. Well they blocked all incoming and outgoing traffic to the server so we cannot connect via sftp, the only choice you got with STRATO. And they wont restore network access for the server unless we remove the file. No logical loop to see here citizen, please move on.

*working on a programming assignment for a graduate-level course*

"We will provide you code that implements the protocol in the server. You do not need to touch this code."

*provided file has syntax errors, including a block comment which doesn't close before EOF*

Whilst I was browsing the university website I came across a directory that allowed directory listings. Amongst all the .pl files was one named something.pl.old. Rather than interpreting the file the web server returned the raw source, including domain credentials for one of the network admins.

DATA COMMUNICATION BETWEEN SERVER AND AN APP..

1. Write all data into files,
2. Make the files as zip,
3. Send the zip to server,
4. Server will unzip the zip file,
5. Read all the data line by line from the files and update the data.

** TRUST ME, THIS IS A PRODUCTION APP I HAVE SEEN FROM A CLIENT **

So probably about a decade ago at this point I was working for free for a friend's start-up hosting company. He had rented out a high-end server in some data center and sold out virtualized chunks to clients.

This is back when you had only a few options for running virtual servers, but the market was taking off like a bat out of hell. In our case, we used User-Mode Linux (UML).

UML is essentially a kernel hack that lets you run the kernel in user space. That alone helps keep things separate or jailed. I'm pretty sure some of you can shed more light on it, but that's as I understood it at the time and I wasn't too shabby at hacking the kernel when we'd have driver issues.

Anyway, one of the ways my friend would on-board someone was to generate a new disk image file, mount it, and then chroot to that mount path. He'd basically use a stock image to do this and then wipe it out before putting it live.

I'm not sure exactly what he was doing at the time, but I got a panicked message on New Years Day saying that he had deleted everything. By everything, he had done an rm -fr /home as root on what he had thought was the root of a drive image.

It wasn't an image. It was the host server.

In the stoke of a single command, all user data was lost. We were pretty much screwed, but I have a knack for not giving up - so I spent a ton of time investigating linux file recovery.

Fun fact about UML - since the kernel runs in user space as a regular ol' process, anything it opens is attached to that process. I had noticed that while the files were "gone", I could still see disk usage. I ended up finding the images attached to their file pointers associated with each running kernel - and thankfully all customers were running at the time.

The next part was crazy, and I still think is crazy. I don't remember the command, but I had to essentially copy the image from the referenced path into a new image file, then shutdown the kernel and power it back on from the new image. We had configs all set aside, so that was easy. When it finally worked I was floored.

Rinse and repeat, I managed to drag every last missing bit out of /proc - with the only side effect being that all MySQL databases needed to be cleaned up.

21:30, sysadmin, chatting with my colleagues, when one posts a screenshot of a message he just received from a dev :
"Hello, sorry for bothering you this late but we have a demo tomorrow morning and the app is completely stalled. It fails with the message 'cannot write to <file>, no space left on device'"

I say "I bet that they somehow managed to make their DB grow uncontrollably".

Colleague asks which server hosts the app, Dev answers "one of ours", then adds after a few seconds "wait, do you need the IP of the server? Dev2 should be able to provide it", before finally adding "we use a scheme in <other project> DB actually".

Finally, Dev2 declares that the bug is solved: "There was a loop that caused a DB view to grow constantly and it filled the filesystem".

Me: "Called it".

They cleaned the view: 41GB freed.

Added a mysql-dump file by misstake in a git commit ....

250MB explains why it took so long to push it to the gitlab server ...

devCraft {
Closing the minecraft server for a little while!
I'll be adding mods, writing up a perms file, and hosting the pack on git! I'll post a rant with the repo link.
One of our lovely ranters offered a VM to host the server on, so the ip is probably gonna change as well! (i also gotta make an arch bootable USB, and running the server would slow that down lol)
i'll notify you all once it's donevia a rant, like i said. until then, formulate plans, and suggest some developer-related mods for me to add in! (must be 1.7.10)
Currently planned mods are:
- ComputerCraft
- Applied Energistics
- Buildcraft
- Project Red
and a few from whatever you guys suggest. see you then!
}

Worst one I’ve seen so far is when I was working for my previous community another developer joined to help me, without the permission of me or the other lead developer he pushed a client-side update. We didn’t think it was a big deal, but once we began reviewing the code it became a big deal... he had placed our SQL credentials into that file that every client downloads. All the person had to do was open the file and could connect to our SQL which contained 50k+ players info, primarily all in-game stuff except IPs which we want to protect at all costs.

Issue becomes, what he was trying to do required the games local database on the client-side, but instead he tried connecting to it as an external database so he decided to copy server-side code and used on the client.

Anyways, the database had a firewall that blocked all connections except the server and the other lead dev and myself. We managed to change the credentials and pull the file away before any harm was done to it, about 300 people had downloaded the file within an hours period, but nothing happened luckily. IP to the DB, username, password, etc, were all changed just to keep it protected.

So far this is the worst, hopefully it doesn’t get worse than this :/

*edits file on remote server*
WanBLowS: naah you can't 😈
*le wild BSOD appears for the over 9000-th time*

... Yeah. Windows, great job. Who needs system integrity when they're working on remote servers anyway, right?!

And to top it all off, le reboot mentions that they're working on fucking "features" again. That's what you needed to BSOD for?! For a goddamn motherfucking feature?!! Fucking piece of shit.

At least when I opened vim on that server again, it's saved everything neatly in the .swp files, ready for recovery. Now that's neat, isn't it? Microsoft, the Linux community has already moved on to nvim in terms of development, but maybe, just maybe, you can learn a thing or two from our "legacy software", vim.

As for me, maybe it's time to take out my Arch laptop again. At least that won't crap out on me because the sun and the stars are in a position that the OS doesn't like, or something stupid like that. FUCK YOU MICROSHIT!!!

Created a batch script to write some filenames to a text file using a loop.

Missed out the echo command, the script tries to open 100+ zip files on a production/potato server (I feel like prodtato should be a word).

Server cries and crashes
Dev cries and crashes

Back when I migrated my file server to a VM, I used robocopy to copy everything over (and caused quite a few fuckups before it'd behave halfway decent.. or so I thought). Now I tried to add my desktop's SSH key to the authorized_keys on said server but it wouldn't accept my key after that. After a bit of digging I've found that my entire home directory (where the file server hosts its mirror of my D: drive) had everything set to 777, and that's why the key isn't accepted. Great permission mode, isn't it? Much secure, very wow! Thank you so much robocopy!!!

40 minutes to realize that the "Access denied" error was not about the database on the server but about a local file.
And a sudo solved everything

When your sysadmins can't script a file compare and so you do the code for them.
"Sorry but we can't run unknown code on the server"
Read the code then you vile troglodytes!

!dev

The school I went to didn't have PCs when I first joined (had some RISC OS machines instead). They got Windows 95 PCs eventually and networked them. I had no experience with networking before this, but had a PC at home. We all had mapped drives to resources on the server. The PCs were pretty locked down - no "Run" command etc.

Anyway, one day the head of IT came in to one of the lessons and asked me "how I did it".

What had I done? Well, clearly he had seen something I'd taught one of my friends. I wrote it down for him.

1. Right-click the desktop
2. New shortcut
3. \\nameofserver
4. OK

Such hax, being able to see the file shares on the server.

Shortly after this, all computer areas had signs saying "no shortcuts allowed"...

My Flask App all of a sudden started throwing 'Error 500 - Internal Server Error' pages at me for a new subpage I made.
I couldn't figure WTF was wrong because the method responsible for the page literally just returned the HTML-template.

After giving up yesterday night, I noticed this morning that I forgot the quotes around the HTML-file name...

Hey there!

So during my internship I learned a lot about Linux, Docker and servers and I recently switched from a shared hosting to my own VPS. On this VPS I currently have one nginx server running that serves a static ReactJs application. This is temponarily, I SFTP-ed the build files to the server and added a config file for ssl, ciphers and dhparams. I plan to change it later to a nextjs application with a ci/di pipeline etc. I also added a 'runuser' that owns the /srv/web directory in which the webserver files are located. Ssh has passwords disabled and my private keys have passphrases.

Now that I it's been running for a few days I noticed a lot of requests from botnets that tried to access phpmyadmin and adminpanels on my server which gave me quite a scare. Luckily my website does not have a backend and I would never expose phpmyadmin like that if I did have it.

Now my question is:
Do you guys know any good articles or have tips and tricks for securing my server and future projects? Are there any good practices that I should absolutely read and follow? (Like not exposing server details etc., php version, rate limiting). I really want to move forward with my quest for knowledge and feel like I should have a good basis when it comes to managing a server, especially with the current privacy laws in place.

Thanks in advance for enduring my rant and infodump 😅

One of the dumbest things I've done as a dev... I was a front-end/php guy that got hired into a asp.net company. My boss told me to take down a section of the website. I hopped on the server and started looking at files and saved a config file. 2 minutes later I had 3 devs in my office asking what I'd done that took down our entire network.

Thankfully my boss laughed it after they republished the site, but that was my intro into asp.net development.

doUploadFile();
doActuallyUploadFile();
doReallyUploadFile();
doUploadFileToServer();

imagine calling these methods in this order so you can upload a file to the server

I previously worked as a Linux/unix sysadmin. There was one app team owning like 4 servers accessible in a very speciffic way.
* logon to main jumpbox
* ssh to elevated-privileges jumpbox
* logon to regional jumpbox using custom-made ssh alternative [call it fkup]
* try to fkup to the app server to confirm that fkup daemon is dead
* logon to server's mgmt node [aix frame]
* ssh to server directly to find confirm sshd is dead too
* access server's console
* place root pswd request in passwords vault, chase 2 mangers via phone for approvals [to login to the vault, find my request and aprove it]
* use root pw to login to server's console, bounce sshd and fkupd
* logout from the console
* fkup into the server to get shell.

That's not the worst part... Aix'es are stable enough to run for years w/o needing any maintenance, do all this complexity could be bearable.

However, the app team used to log a change request asking to copy a new pdf file into that server every week and drop it to app directory, chown it to app user. Why can't they do that themselves you ask? Bcuz they 'only need this pdf to get there, that's all, and we're not wasting our time to raise access requests and chase for approvals just for a pdf...'

oh, and all these steps must be repeated each time a sysadmin tties to implement the change request as all the movements and decisions must be logged and justified.

Each server access takes roughly half an hour. 4 servers -> 2hrs.

So yeah.. Surely getting your accesses sorted out once is so much more time consuming and less efficient than logging a change request for sysadmins every week and wasting 2 frickin hours of my time to just copy a simple pdf for you.. Not to mention that threr's only a small team of sysadmins maintaining tens of thousands of servers and every minute we have we spend working. Lunch time takes 10-15 minutes or so.. Almost no time for coffee or restroom. And these guys are saying sparing a few hours to get their own accesses is 'a waste of their time'...

That was the time I discovered skrillex.

Never mess with a motivated developer. I will make your life difficult in return.

Me: we need server logs and stats daily for analysis
DBA: to get those, you need to open a ticket
Me: can't you just give me SFTP access and permissions to query the stats from the DB?
DBA: No.

*OK.... 🤔🤔🤔*

*Writes an Excel Template file that I basically just need to copy and paste from to create a ticket*

This process should not take me more than 2mins 👍😁😋🙂😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙

For them.... 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You know the thing where you put "password":" asd" in a json file to test locally and then push it to the server.

You know when you push to git and not add the generated files to gitignore.

You know when you use "asd123" as salt.

You know when instead of using triggers, you do everything with code.

Yeah...

Diary of an insane lead dev: day 447

pdf thumbnails that the app generates are now in S3 instead of saved on disk.

when they were on disk, we would read them from disk into a stream and then create a stream response to the client that would then render the stream in the UI (hey, I didn't write it, I just had to support it)

one of my lazy ass junior devs jumps on modifying it before I can; his solution is to retrieve the file from the cloud now, convert the stream into a base64 encoded string, and then shove that string into an already bloated viewmodel coming from the server to be rendered in the UI.

i'm like "why on earth are you doing that? did you even test the result of this and notice that rendering those thumbnails now takes 3 times as long???"

jr: "I mean, it works doesn't it?"

seriously, if the image file is already hosted on the cloud, and you can programmatically determine its URL, why wouldn't you just throw that in the src attribute in your html tag and call it a day? why would you possibly think that the extra overhead of retrieving and converting the file before passing it off to the UI in an even larger payload than before would result in a good user experience for the client???

it took me all of 30 seconds to google and find out that AWS SDK has a method to GetPreSignedURL on a private file uploaded to s3 and you can set when it expires, and the application is dead at the end of the year.

JFC. I hate trying to reason with these fuckheads by saying "you are paid for you brain, fucking USE IT" because, clearly these code monkeys do not have brains.

I just gave robocopy another try, in order to get my WanBLowS D: drive and my file server synchronized again, in preparation to move that file server VM to a LXC container instead.. bad choice. I should've used rsync in WSL.

Hey you Not so Robust File Copier for WanBLowS, how many attempts of you fucking up my file server's dotfiles does it take before I configure you right with every fucking option you have specified? How about you actually behave somewhat decently like rsync where -avz works 99% of the time, in local, remote, any scenarios that you can think of that aren't super obscure?! HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE, REDMOND CERTIFIED ENGANEERS?!!

Drown in a pond of bleach, Microshit certified MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

Well, at least this time it didn't fuck up my .ssh directory so I can still authenticate to the VM.. so I guess that at least that's a win. Even that you can't take for granted anymore with this piece of garbage!!!

I used to use WinBtrfs on Windows to get away from the clusterfuck that is NTFS on my WD Elements. But today I figured.. why? Why not just mount the drives to my file server already? I mean even over a USB 2.0 link, a USB 3.0 drive will perform decently. Not as good as my RAID-0 array there for sure, but still. So, that's it.. fuck it. Done with trying to get WanBLowS to adapt to my needs. Decent drives for a decent operating system, all the 10TB straight to my file server!! Then WanBLowS can go jerk itself in its clusterfuck of NTFS and SMB shit, while the actual grunt work is done by something that's at least reliable and won't shit itself - Linux. As it should be done!!! Trying to get WanBLowS to manage something more important than browsing the Phasebuk, what was I even thinking?!

Holy FREAKING shit!! This was worst stupidest mistake I have ever made!

About 9 hours ago, i decided to implement brotli compression in my server.

It looked a bit challenging for me, because the all the guides involved compiling and building the nginx with brotli module and I was not that confident doing that on live site.

By the end of the guide, the site was not reachable anymore. I panicked.

Even the error logs and access logs were not picking up anything.

About a dozens guides and a new server and figuring out few major undocumented errors later, it turns out the main nginx.conf file had a line that was looking for *.conf files in the sites-enabled directory.

But my conf file was named after the domain name and ending with .com and hence were not picked up by the new nginx.conf

I'm not sure if I wasted my 9 hours because of that single line or not. But man, this was a really rough day!

"Want to edit that file? You need to clone [this], then install [x] followed by [y] and [z]. Then telnet into the 80's and curl this page directly from Ceefax. Install the binaries and compile the watchers. Hit ‘enableficate’ and wait whilst it builds the VM mirror. Remote desktop into the vm from a Windows2000 machine and install a UI. Search for [some file]. This is cross-compiled into an reverse ascii hex hashinator so you’ll need to decompile it using fudgeunpacker. Edit the file as required then reverse the entire process to synchronise it with the repo. You can then upload the file to the server (remember that [thisdomain] is on [some obscure remote server] so you’ll have to email them the file in [x localle] office hours)”

$ mysql -uroot -p > file.sql instead of
$ mysqldump -uroot -p > file.sql

And not checking the result file before reinstalling my server 😭😭

The worst mistake I made was using json files as a simple database.

The project was to be delivered the day before it was even ordered, so I had to take shortcuts.

I totally underestimated the popularity of the project, so all that file reading and writing made the server slow and sluggish. It also being submitted on a shared host, made it even worse.

In the end the host shut it down. I don't recall, but I guess I had to add that database support after all, the project being that popular...

I think I just hit my lowest point.

Spent ALL of last week trying to get my WAMP server to call a PHP script via AJAX and I kept getting 404s. Spent at least 10 hours on stack overflow trying to figure out why the server wasn't accessing it only to find out today that I was both looking at the wrong directory and also working the file name wrong.

I think I just need to walk away from programming for a while... 😧

So I have a script that runs every time I turn on my PC. The script copies a few files to a ftp server in my basement. Forgot to turn off logging....

Opend the file in Notepad, and would you look at that, 1 GB of ram..? WTF?

Edit: Managed to open the file, turns out that it's been exactly one year since I started using the script.

This was about 3 years ago. I’m on vacation and just getting off the plane, when my boss calls me on his cellphone. Apparently the crontab on our main file upload server had gotten nuked, and he was asking if there were any backups.

A word about this server. I work with video, so this thing is doing about a few gigabits of traffic incoming at any moment. The cron jobs are necessary to move and organize these massive files into a sane scheme for processing. Hundreds of drop folders receiving thousands of files resulting in terabytes of data every single day. Our storage vendor tells us we have the third largest deployment they know about.

No cron jobs mean all of this content is just sitting around piling up. I tell him sorry, try contacting $otherAdmin since he’s more familiar with that system.

A few days later, after the vacation, I come back in. $boss and $otherAdmin have reconstructed the crontab from scratch after an all nighter.

I ask how it got deleted.

$boss was training some people how to set up new customers on this file server, and he told the trainees to open the crontab in read-only mode. One of them ran:

crontab -r

Yes, we back up our crontabs now.

I call this one the tester than knew too much.

Note: The server the tester is running on has a hard drive that is breaking down...

Tester: Remember the error I talked to you about yesterday?

Me: Yeah, what about it?

Tester: Well the server hasn't recovered yet and I haven't restarted anything...

Me: Well the application itself hasn't crashed so our monitoring application doesn't seem to notice that the service is in a bad state. The error seems only to have brought down certain threads within the application.

Tester: No, I think there is a different issue here and has nothing to do with that error, the application is still doing things.
*tails the log*
Tester: See?

Me: As I said some things are still running and are unaffected by the error.

Tester: NO! It has to be caused by the other error I had a week ago where my file got corrupted. As we said I removed the file, restarted it and it worked again, but had the same problem a day later...

Note: The problem is not related, this time the application is running out of file descriptors

Me: Well... If the problem is the same it would have complained about the file descriptors then aswell, not an I/O error.

Tester: Nope, I think you are wrong!

Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

FML

I was freaking out today when a program I have to demo in two days suddenly stopped working correctly. Turned out not that bad when I found my dog added some characters to the server address in the config file when I laid my computer on the bed last night.

Spent an entire day just compiling a kernel with audio codecs for my cherrytrail laptop, first on my server for 9ish hours, then on my laptop, ended up deleting it all and starting over, because the final folder was 20+ gigs big (without modules) and the next instruction was to transfer all those files to what is a 32gb laptop, so I thought I fucked up, now searching more, it seems I just need the vmlinuz file once it compiled, I guess I'll compile it all again...

So, idiot me decided it would be a good idea to never get around to configuring my UPS to gracefully shutdown my server after a powercut lasting more than x duration...

Long story short, we had a powercut that lasted 4 minutes or so longer than the battery in the UPS could keep the server up for...

UPS died, server went pew, and after rebooting itself once the power came back on, my raid array wouldn’t mount anymore...

After Googling around, it seemed like running e2fsck would solve the problem.

Didn’t seem to do the trick... and tired me at 3am decided it would be a good idea to poke around.

Pretty sure I ran a command wrong, or two, because now I can’t even mount the fricken array in read only, and fsck complains with a shit ton errors...

Been researching for hours, and no dice...

Test Disk shows the ext4 partition, but fails to list any files...

I may have destroyed the tables or something... I’m a noob at this point.

I’m able to access files with the RStudio tool, however this doesn’t help with file names and directory structure 😭

Is it all over for my 5 years worth of photos and other bits and pieces that I don’t have any backups of ? 😂😭😭

If any of y’all are pros with data recovery and can help a fellow boi out, I’d be more than happy to pay for ya time !

Client: here's what we want, a website where someone can directly edit any file on the website, php that java thingy all of it. Hell allow them to access, the os so they can see how that works to.

Me: ... Hey great idea ... We could set the server up in your offices ! I could link the server to all your computer's they can modify anything you have on there as well. That won't cause any issues.... At all.
Client: urm why?
Me: *hangs up* sigh ....

It's a fake scenario.... But how I feel like when I speak to clients 😐 based off what some guy wanted to do, a whole training thing for devs to learn how servers work ... The idea is ok to train... Say an apprentice, but he wanted to attach this to the Internet.... Not limit its use... Obviously way to expensive.

Just now when I'm watching one of the many anime's I've saved onto my file server I noticed something.. all of their files are incomplete, and so are they on the NTFS mirror on this WanBLowS host. The files got corrupted. I recall that I used robocopy to place the files back and forth, and yet again it lives up to its expectations of it being a motherfucking piece of Winshit. FUCK YOU ROBOCOPY!!! If I wanted to fetch that anime yet again just to deal with your developers' incompetence, I'd have watched it online!! Meanwhile tell me, HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO DEAL WITH A NETWORK FILE TRANSFER THAT EVEN USES YOUR OWN SHITFEST OF A PROTOCOL, FUCKING SMB?!! MSFT certified pieces of shit!!!!

Just wrote my own webpack plugin for VueJS.

In serverless application there isn't a good way to pre render a single page web application as there is no server to do this task.

What we can do is use serverside rendering with webpack to locally (or in CI) generate the static HTML markup and include them in a template file like EJS.

In that way, the client browsers would not have to wait for the initial render and the search engines will also be happy.

This feels good! Time to upload it as a npm package 😇

Idea: Corruption as a service.

RESTful API where you send a URL to a file, an intensity and a method, and if the file's under some size, we return a URL to the now-corrupted file on the server, which is removed after like 5 minutes of inactivity or something.

Depending on method and intensity, corruption amount varies from one byte to every byte being either replaced or added to/subtracted from by a certain amount.

Since we are using the same password on all our servers (both QA and Production environment) my team somehow decided that it would be easier to copy the private SSH key for to ALL servers and add the public key to the authorized.keys file.

This way we SSH without password and easily add it to new servers, it also means that anyone who gets into one server can get to all of them.

I wasn't a fan of the same password on all servers, but this private key copying is just going against basic security principles.

Do they want rogue connections? Because that's how you get them.

Today I spent 25 minutes explaining to this dev that there’s no way that a http request can access directly to an ftp server and retrieve a file.

A dev with 4 years of experience...

So I've got a few stories, but the first one goes like this:

>> Spring semester last year
>> Likely have the best grade in a front end web dev class
>> Has a file on a server that we used for this class.
>> Copies HTML file to desktop from server
>> Opens desktop file in VS (or VSCode, I forgot lol)
>> Opens server HTML file in chrome
>> Edits the file
>> Browser doesn't change.
>> "What to fuck?"
>> Clears cache
>> Doesn't change anything
>> Closes and reopens Chrome
>> Still no change
>> 'Yo what the fuck???"
>> Calls professor over to get help
>> Explains problem
>> Instantly realize I'm a dip shit and open the desktop HTML file in Chrome and see the changes I made

I literally just had this conversation.

H: Me
C: Colleague

C: "Hey Hindsight, I'm having issues with our web print driver, it's not opening the browser after printing"
H: "Have you checked Interactive Mode in the installer so it opens the browser?"
C: "Yes"
H: "Are you sure you have the right domain name in your configuration file? It should be <thing.example.com>"
C: "Ah, it's just example.com. Should I just change it in the config?"
H: "No you need to regenerate the config from our server tool, because the server data needs to match your client config data"
C: "Ok, my config says <example.com>"
H: "Yes, just regenerate the config with <thing.example.com> instead for the domain"
C: "Ok I'll do that. What was the correct domain again?"
H: thinking "Holy shit can you really be that dumb!" but saying "<thing.example.com>"

Server configuration file formats...

some use custom text file
some use ini files,
some use xml..
some use json..
some use yaml..
some use toml..

How many file formats I need to learn!!!

Remote server software installation support is great!
You can watch them trying to understand where what is on the file system, they repeatedly switch between windows without doing something on either of them and they set your IE browser policy to allow all kinds of domains & sites which are preventing them from downloading their software.
Todays guy did not know how to transfer a file between the local machine and one in remotedesktop. 😄

(If you do support like this, then don't get me wrong, I'm not making fun of you personally, it is just funny to watch if you have to actually sit there and wait for the support to finish.) 😉

You know what, let me jump in on the "I hate PHP" bandwagon.

A couple months ago I upgraded my mail servers unattended. Roundcube got fucked for a couple of months, and I figured.. fuck it, I can still use Dovecot for authenticating with desktop mail clients like K-9.
Recently I unfucked it, turns out that it was an issue with the sock file in php-fpm. That's also when I noticed that PHP apparently hardcodes in its current version in the bloody socket file. Because why the fuck wouldn't you? It makes upgrades so much fucking easier!!! Said no fucking sysadmin ever!!!

And today I upgraded one of my mail servers to Ubuntu Server 18.04, finally, after a lot of hesitation. Bad decision, because now PHP got fucked YET AGAIN.
Again an issue with socket files? I have no fucking idea. systemctl shows no failed services (because you know PHP, why would you fail your service with an error message instead of throwing a meaningless 502 Bad Gateway, right?!!) and looking at the config files, well the socket file got its new php-fpm 7.2 file (still got the fucking version number hardcoded in) and thus I changed that socket file location in /etc/php/7.0...

devRant may just have been my rubber duck.

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STINKING FUCKING PILE OF SHIT CALLED FUCKING PHP KEEP THE FUCKING 7.0 DIRECTORY OUT THERE WHEN YOU'VE UPGRADED, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE FUCKING BALLS TO RENAME THE MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTORY TO 7.2, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HARDCODE IN YOUR VERSION NUMBERS ANYWAY?!!!!!

Bloody fucking pile of fucking junk!!!!

Our smart and very professional sales guy strikes again,

I had to do some research on if I could print a pdf file directly from the server (be it php / nodejs)

When I told him I had found a solution he said, good job and went away, I was like...hmm k..

A few days later he came to my senior being mad that the project wasn't done in time.. And we were like.. Dude... What project!?

Apparently he made a deal to have a working demo in two weeks, but we (our dev team) never got that message...

A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.

A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.

The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!

So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.

Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!

I accidently lost a whole tables data today. Lucky me I also created a XML-file on the server which was for printing.
I parsed the files back into a simplexmlobject and recovered most of the lost data. 💪

Just spent the *entire* afternoon trying to figure out why the hell my code runs fine locally, but doesn't when our CI server builds & deploys it on AWS.

...and I've now, finally, figured out it was all because I forgot to check a damn file into Git 🤦‍♂️

I'm simultaneously relieved, annoyed & embarassed.

We found a binary string on our Loggly server. It's a PDF file .. the entire PDF file, being sent, to our logging service.

Firefox and Chrome removing FTP support in 2021 was a terrible decision.

Web browsers were simply the more convenient FTP browsers, more than file managers, due to browsers' built-in multimedia capabilities like photo viewing and opening documents, distinct purple highlighting of already opened directories and files, browsing history, familiar mouse shortcuts like middle click for new tab, and no possibility of accidental writes due to a botched drag-and-drop operation or similar.

If I wanted to browse an FTP server in "read-only mode", web browsers used to be the preferred choice.

Not been a good day so far:
1. Woke up to my Synology in a 'Volume crashed' state. Tried to contact support via web page; support web page not loading.
2. Ancient software at work stops working. As the last remaining C++ dev, I gotta troubleshoot. Original developer wrote test program...in VB6.
3. Server config file changed, but all the admins swear up and down nobody's made any changes.
4. Client calls account rep and wants to know about our security policies, so he schedules a meeting with me and client and forgets to mention until he's emailing me asking where the hell I am. From the tone of the conversation between the rep and the client, it's clear that somehow I'm to blame for being late.

Sigh.

Well, hey, at least it's Friday, right? Right?

So I was changing some CSS, but the changes weren't showing.

Was it being cached? Nope
Was the selector wrong? Nope
Well it was the right file yeah? Yup

So after like 10min of scratching my head, restarting the server, etc it turns out I was checking prod instead of dev.

This isn't even the first time this has happened 😑

Guys just remember to keep your dev tab and your prod tab away from each other, like way away.

Fuck you scp. I was uploading 6GB file to an EC2 server. Well, needless to say, "no space left on device" after all 6GB transferred was the biggest FUCK YOU moment. Seriously. Send the file size and check before you waste 30 minutes of my time. Oh, and don't read CLI command data as part of the transfer. You suck.

It's not that big of a deal, but it's kinda embarrassing since I was one of the best students in the class.

Took a web design (HTML, CSS & a tiny bit of JS) class. I never really struggled; more like polished everything I already knew to become a bit better.

In class working on an assignment. So we have a folder dedicated on a server just for this class. The folder is accessible as long as you're on the school internet or using the VPN. So I have an assignment there. I drop it onto my desktop, because i had worked on it since the last time I was at this computer.

I opened the project in VSCode and begin making changing things. I opened the HTML file wasn't updating. "That's odd" I thought. Cleared the cache, opened and closed the browser. Still nothing. I called the professor over to see if had any clue what was going on.

My dumbass self was editing the file that was on my desktop, but I had opened the HTML file from the server. I felt so stupid but we both just laughed it off and went on.

Since I am running a home server and want to be updated on what the stats are, I did create a webpage where I can get the "renewed" information via ajax (not with jQuery) in every 5 seconds. The thing is that I don't get the "new" information. It's still the old information that keeps reshown in the div.
I checked the server.php file. It keeps getting regenerated. Since, that is the case, it isn't the server to blame. But more likely the client.php is the one that is causing problems. May someone know how to deal with that?

When i made a little web prototype platformer game using js and then wanted to show my friends as they all wanted to play.

1. Setup all the files on my phone.
2. Made a web server on my phone with relevant file permissions.
3. Setup a web server on my phone and joined the network
4. Smile as it worked when they all connected through the browser to the relevant IP/port

This post just made me realise i need to get another phone lol

Living on the edge!

One or two years ago I managed to deploy a DDL change directly on the production server. As I knew there was a backup job which will run every day at noon and at midnight. So I run my script some minutes after noon. So far so good. But somehow I tested it badly in my test environment and the UI of the application throws error after error now in production.

Well, just revert the db to the latest recovery point with the backup, I thought.

It became clear then after a couple of minutes of searching the backup folder for the db backup that there was no such file. The youngest backup file was 3 years old.

Now what happened: The backup script had a switch "simulate=true" and then simulated a successful backup on each run. Therefore the monitoring system got no alerts for not correctly executing those jobs correctly. Then the monitoring job which should do the backupfolder surveillance stuck with green, because there was a valid backup file inside. But it did not check for a specific creation date.

Now this database is the one we need for doing our daily business and is really crucial. Therefore It was easier to emergencyfix the application than doing a rollback of the db 🙄

Well, not really a data loss story, but close to one.

Smartphones, the best spying devices for oblivious muggles.

Was just reading some of the OpenVPN scripts to renew a certificate where I forgot to source the vars file first (apparently OpenVPN stores those in a separate file that you always have to source first, and I tend to forget it sometimes).

Reading the revoke-full script that OpenVPN provides, it's just bash so I can read it no problem. But traversing through it and trying to understand it... Horrible! There's a test file in $RT named keys/revoke-test.pem. It's not used anywhere in OpenVPN for anything useful as far as I'm aware. The script however - the script that's running on a production server! - attempts to remove this file. It doesn't exist. Test files do (or at least should) not exist in production. They're not supposed to be there.

It exports empty variables. Some of them are set by the sourced vars file, some aren't. Not entirely sure why it's exporting variables as empty when they're uninitialized, or why it doesn't just unset the ones that are initialized.

And finally it goes ahead and revokes the key file that I'm actually concerned about through regular OpenSSL and verifies it.

Not to mention that the lack of the sourced vars file, which admittedly I should think about in the current status quo, if it *always* needs to be sourced anyway... Why doesn't the script do that itself then? One less thing to go wrong. But hey, proper design?

Gore. I don't have any other words for it.

And before anyone tells me that I should go and fix it if I'm so worried about it. Remember, I am not a developer. That's the job of the developers that made this in the first place.

Just found out that a big hosting provider saves a user's SQL and FTP password in a plain text file just at the parent folder of the normally accessible ftproot.
Using some linux commands you can
cat ../mysql_pw
cat ../ftp_password.txt
IT'S NOT EVEN ENCRYPTED OR HASHED
(This is tested on a minecraft server, would also work on other services)

So today was interesting.

I had to extract the domain from an email address and compare the domain to a hard coded whitelist, nothing difficult, fuck takes 2 min really.

Except the project starts throwing 500 errors for no god damn reason, like seriously, I double check syntax, nope looks fine, run pho's syntax checker on the file
# php -l /path/to/file.php

Nope says it's all good.
Checks error log on server -> no log

OoooooooooKay then.

Comments out the few lines, saves, errors gone.

remove comments, error comes back.

Do this a few times, and magically the fucking thing stops throwing errors, now I haven't actually changed anything, and I know this project is so fragile I don't know how it stays running at times but fuck me this is a painful joke.

So client wants an android app that implements some legacy Epson printer SDK, works on a chinese Windows device with an android Emulator on it, connects to local Webservice that had to be configurated and ran (local Network) , sends and tracks data, if Server down then handle it on the Client and reconnect as soon as Server up, running own TCP Server on Android device that listens for specific http requests, which make the android connect to an Epson printer to start printing. The stuff that is being printed? A png file that has to be converted to a Bitmap, a QR Code that has to be generated by the bugged base64 encrypted stuff coming via http in (webserver-> Android TCP server)
Dont forget the Software Design (MVP), documentation, research etc.. Im about to finish the app , its my 5th day on this Project, the 6th day was planned to be full testing. Client Calls me and ask me how far I am, I reply, he says ok. 30 minutes later he tells me he wont pay me next time that much because this work should take 3 days, or even 2. "A senior Android developer could do this in 2 days"... When i sent him my notices he called me a liar, his webdev has alot of experience and told him it should take 2-3 days...ffs

I've been trying to get my job to start using Git cause they currently don't use any version control. So today I told my supervisor that I was going to set us up our server so we can host our own repositories and he was like no need we will just set your computer up so you can vpn in from home. I'm like wtf? why go through so much trouble to set that up? That still doesn't solve the problem of accidental file overwriting.-_-

Updating my nginx config file over and over again. No change is being reflected when I visit the website.

Then I realized instead of restarting the nginx server I was running start command :(

Workarounds are great. I remember one time, I had a server that let anyone access any file as long as the knew the right path. I wanted to store data in a .txt (it wasnt secure passwords or anything, so calmyourtities), but then had access too it. Now, this server wasn't running anything except PHP, so I created a database.php, and within was just some php tags. I ended up modifying the database.php from other PHP scripts and storing all the data as PHP comment, then parsing thru it as I needed, so loading mydomain.biz/database.php wouldn't show the data. ex of my database.php (to all that might not understand because I'm bad at explaining):
<?php
//USER1:DATA1
//USER2:DATA2
?>

Linux software RAID and LVM are pretty powerful.

Bought a new server case for my home file server / VM host. 3U with 16 hotswap bays. Had 2x software RAID1 mirrors already with everything on them. Inserted 2 new disks with system running. Created new RAID10 array using these, with their mirrors as "missing".

Created new physical volume. Extended volume group into it, then used pvmove to transfer every logical volume across. Shrunk volume group to no longer use the old RAID1 array, disassembled that array, added its disks to the new array... Now just waiting for the mirror disks to sync up.

All this, with the system and several VMs still running.

And with a backup, of course ;)

Not mine, but a colleague puts a script in production which has to sent an email every time a config changes, but in reality sent an email every time the file was accessed. The system sent a good amount of email in a couple of minutes, the remote SMTP bounced them but the connections on port 25 was dropped by the server, the production firewall hits the maximum number of allowed connections... a lot of shit!

Just got an email from my company that a http server app I wrote years ago exposed the whole server it runs on because of a misconfig parametered...

Can use it to read any file using server.com/path/to/file

Python haters, gather 'round

oh come on... In java it's all simple as 123. You build an app, you have like 200 dependencies, you pack it all in a single fat jar and only deploy that single .jar. Don't need no internet, no installs, no pip, no nothing: just your .jar file and the JVM.

So java:
- build an app
- use 200+ deps
- build your whole project into a single fat jar
- deploy your jar in the env
- install [*khem khem* scp into the server] jre
- run

Now let's look at py, shall we?
- build an app
- use 1 dep
- deploy all the 20 .py files in the env
- make sure you have internet access
- install python
- install pip
- pip install <my dependency>
- run your app

This was originally a reply to a rant about the excessive complexity of webdev.

The complexity in webdev is mostly necessary to deal with Javascript and the browser APIs, coupled with the general difficulty of the task at hand, namely to let the user interact with amounts of data far beyond network capacity. The solution isn't to reject progress but to pick your libraries wisely and manage your complexity with tools like type safe languages, unit tests and good architecture.

When webdev was simple, it was normal to have the user redownload the whole page everytime you wanted to change something. It was also normal to have the server query the database everytime a new user requested the same page even though nothing could have changed. It was an inefficient sloppy mess that only passed because we had nothing better and because most webpages were built by amateurs.

Today webpages are built like actual programs, with executables downloaded from a static file server and variable data obtained through an API that's preferably stateless by design and has a clever stateful cache. Client side caches are programmable and invalidations can be delivered through any of three widely supported server-client message protocols. It's not to look smart, it's engineering. Although 5G gets a lot of media coverage, most mobile traffic still flows through slow and expensive connections to devices with tiny batteries, and the only reason our ever increasing traffic doesn't break everything is the insanely sophisticated infrastructure we designed to make things as efficient as humanly possible.

Just downloaded a .php file from the server, everything is in the same row.

Either my server is hacked or I fucked something up two days ago without knowing, I suddenly start receiving a dms file when I try access my domain or either by IP, file name is: valroSG0.dms

Do I need to be worried :S

Am I the only developer in existence who's ever dealt with Git on Windows? What a colossal train wreck.

1. Authentication. Since there is no ssh key/git url support on Windows, you have to retype your git credentials Every Stinking Time you push. I thought Git Credential Manager was supposed to save your credentials? And this was impossible over SSH (see below). The previous developer had used an http git URL with his username and password baked in for authentication. I thought that was a horrific idea so I eventually figured out how to use a Bitbucket App password.

2. Permissions errors
In order to commit and push updates, I have to run Git for Windows as Administrator.

3. No SSH for easy git access
Here's where I confess that this is a Windows Server machine running as some form of production. Please don't slaughter me! I am not the server admin.
So, I convinced the server guy to find and install some sort of ssh service for Windows just for the off times we have to make a hot fix in production. (Don't ask, but more common than it should be.)
Sadly, this ssh access is totally useless as the git colors are all messed up, the line wrap length and window size are just weird (seems about 60 characters wide by 25 lines tall) and worse of all I can't commit/push in git via ssh because Permissions. Extremely aggravating.

4. Git on Windows hangs open and locks the index file
Finally, we manage to have Git for Windows hang quite frequently and lock the git index file, meaning that we can't do anything in git (commit, push, pull) without manually quitting these processes from task manager, then browsing to the directory and deleting the .git/index.lock file.

Putting this all together, here's the process for a pull on this production server:
Launch a VNC session to the server. Close multiple popups from different services. Ask Windows to please not "restart to install updates". Launch git for Windows. Run a git pull. If the commits to be pulled involve deleting files, the pull will fail with a permissions error. Realize you forgot to launch as Administrator. Depending on how many files were deleted in the last update, you may need to quit the application and force close the process rather than answer "n" for every "would you like to try again?" file. Relaunch Git as Administrator. Run Git pull. Finally everything works.

At this point, I'd be grateful for any tips, appreciate any sympathy, and understand any hatred. Windows Server is bad. Git on Windows is bad.

My biggest mistake was that I didn't check the file extension of a uploaded file. Or more correctly forgot that I turned it off for debugging and pushed the app to production.

Somebody noticed an uploaded a hacker php script and got access to all the files on the server. Including some semi sensetive clients information.

A talk with the client that followed was not a pleasant one

once upon a time I went on vacation.

It was for 5 days and I went to Leh-Ladakh with my family. (Me, My big bro and my parents.)

It's a beautiful and cold place. Snow and High Mountain and no phone call from anyone.

It was supposed to be no call. But on the 3 days, I got a call from my junior and he said to me that server is not working and it's giving 404 error.

So I told him to go to Cpanel (It was client's server). After 1 hour I got a call back from him and he was not able to fix it.

So I had to open the Cpanel in my Galaxy Note 8, Open file manager, go through all the files and logs and fix it code in 2 or 3 files.

It took 4 hours to fix the problem. But that day I understood the value of my Note 8 and its big screen. Thank you, Samsung.

Note: The lake in the photo is Pangong Lake/

Looks like copying large file e.g. 1GB from Remote Desktop Connection will also affect SQL Server performance and somehow slowing down the SQL transaction 100000x times

What a new thing to experience😆

Some years ago... And some xp less.

An old WordPress installation was attacked and our server was sending thousands of spam mails.

I found out that there was a line of code in the top of every php file. And I removed these files.

The problem was that
1) I was copying this fcking line to new files because I was thinking it was my code.
2) I found a Linux command to detect all these files and I removed them one by one. In every file. Many many files.

#hacker #goodolddays

//rant

So i ordered myself a web server and am trying to get access to phpmyadmin.
I got generated username and password for the phpmyadmin login.
So i created mysql databases and database users, outside the interface, but that's fucking it, i need to create tables as well, can't do that without the interface, cuz NO ACCESS!

Fucking piece of shit service provider, they had one thing to do and they can't even fucking do it right. How dare they call themselves web hosts at all...

It's probably a badly configured config file but i can't access the file myself to start sorting this shit out, so i got to wait at least 12 hours till work hours to be able to contact with them and sort this shit out.

I might be new to webdev , but wtf is wrong with imports in js ?

html seems to get the only decent way of dealing with js: all the files mentioned in subsequent <script> tags can access the functions of previous file

but when it comes to those generated html content(aka react projects) and servers, nobody seems to come to an agreement : react guys uses import while server people uses require. and both of these can't be used in the same file : import works in mjs files (or usual files too if type is defined as module) while require works in cjs file (or usual js files if type is NOT defined as module)

so i kind of like imports for its elegance and resembelence to java imports. and i might have got into some errors in unrelated areas , so my package.json has type=module . i want to use some cjs package (jsonwebtoken) and that shit for the love of god won't work with import, so i gotta use it with cjs file and then the whole project can't use that crappy cjs file.

WTAF ? has web world not got matured enough to not have this shitty import export situation?should i write caveman code and convert everything to require(..) ?

fuck me

When four issues get assigned to four different developers and the analysis and the proposed fix for each is a change to a single class file that has been locked by a fifth developer.

My task was securing the server, and I finshed it... With only one mistake...
I updated the hosts.deny file to be ALL:ALL which are more secure... But I forgot to add any IPs in hosts.allow... The result is, nobody even me can connect to the server... Luckly it is internal testing server...

open file in eclipse while server is running

i haven't made any code changes or saved anything

ECLIPSE: I GOTTA REBUILD

FUCK FUCK FUCK Windows share feature
just fuck it !
and fuck the people who made it!!!44

ok calm mode on

I had to copy a 30 gb file from my computer to my sister's one, and since the largest pendrive I have is 8gb, and I'm just lazy to split the file into parts, I thought it would be a great idea to copy it over LAN. (tldr: it's not)

First attempt:
Right click on file and share it with everyone = fail
Enable network discovery in sharing settings = still fail
Ohh, right, I just forgot it, disable firewall, it usually solves everything = still fail (2)
Google the problem and try every possible solution = still fking fail

Second attempt:
Ok, when last time I had the same problem, I made a homegroup and it worked.
Let's enable it on my Win10 = it's missing
After some googling: "We removed the home group feature from Windows 10, because why not and we would be fired if the change log was empty."
Ok, fuck it.

Third attempt:
Download a portable FTP server.
Enable it.
Create an account.
It works.

Fuck XCode! -
Yesterday I had the stupid idea to rename an icon file. Checked that XCode was building the application still fine. Ran it over the build server: Failed, complaining about the old missing icon file! Checked again and again, but there was no friggin' reference to the old file in the whole repo.
Log in to the machine clear the build folder and try to build the component again. Bang still same error and the references to no longer existing files reappear.
Turns out XCode was caching those references somewhere in the home directory as "DerivedData" and after deleting those, I could build again... but why on earth are you building a cache if you cannot properly invalidate it? Just to waste our time?
(@xcodesucks)

i wrote a website, a server in go, a small os in c, a game in js, a game and server and web scraper and other desktop apps in java, mobile apps with flutter, a website with php also, implemented aes in go, wrote a parser in java. done sysadmin stuff on my vps and pihole/openvpn/nextcloud on my rpi. learn about c vulnerabilities and used metasploit. attempted to write an interpreted language. did some led displays with arduino. currently learning tensorflow.

i have never...
- written a driver
- made a game with a game engine
- created a file encoding
- implemented an oauth2 server
- made an api
- worked with vr

what am i missing? i want to be a very well rounded dev.

!Rant #lazy
I setup my local server so I can test my apps and to mount my partitions on my www folder in a folder named "mnt" with numbered folders for each mounted partition
So I can access and download my files to phone and other devices from all over the network :)
And even watch movies that are in my computer on my phone or tv
And when I want to sleep I usually watch a movie or one episode of series which is stored in my pc ,on my phone by this method in my bed 😅
So the thing is I'm too lazy to get out of bed and shut down the server and pc
So I setup this file so I can run commands on my PC from my phone 😅😂😂😂
192.168.1.110/server.php?cmd=shutdown now&psw=mypassword

This Christmas I transitioned into a new job. At the old job I was the only kubernetes-guy, so since they no longer have any developers who are confident working with that, they decided to go with LAMP-stack.

The data from dev-kubernetes-server was backed up by some guy and moved to an offsite-server, or so they told me. Turns out, he had backed up the kubectl-config-file, and not the databases. Now everything is wiped. Sure glad we still have that config-file!

Of course, since that was only our dev-server, there was nothing too important there, except for all the documentation. The only other backup? On my laptop, which I turned in to them, and is now wiped and used by one of the sales-guys.

Now I’m being called in at least twice a day, since I was their goto-guy for almost anything backend-related. Feels great, after they spent a couple of months attempting to rewrite everything in pure PHP (with a strict no-dependency policy for some reason). Fml.

You know a server is having a jolly'ol time when, while logging through the serial console, it lags... Then, a few seconds later, you get a message

[time.seconds] Out of memory: Kill process PID (login) score 0 or sacrifice child
[time.seconds] Killed process PID (login) total-vm:65400kB, anon-rss:488kB, file-rss:0kB

10/10, only way to bring the server back to life was by a hard-reset :|

On the one hand I really wish there was a good open-source self-hosted file sharing and collaboration service which made use of modern web technologies to provide most of its features inline as well and not just through APIs consumed by client applications.

On the other hand, I tried writing a WebDAV server once, and I fully empathize with the people who have to deal with this madness.

Yesterday was a horrible day...
First of all, as we are short of few devs, I was assigned production bugs... Few applications from mobile app were getting fucked up. All fields in db were empty, no customer name, email, mobile number, etc.
I started investigating, took dump from db, analyzed the created_at time stamps. Installed app, tried to reproduce bug, everything worked. Tried API calls from postman, again worked. There were no error emails too.
So I asked for server access logs, devops took 4 hrs just to give me the log. Went through 4 million lines and found 500 errors on mobile apis. Went to the file, no error handling in place.
So I have a bug to fix which occurs 1 in 100 case, no stack trace, no idea what is failing. Fuck my job.

God damnit!!

Just got a team assigned for the course I follow and the codebase they work looks like someone shit on the floor and dragged it all over place. No consistency, no clear structure.

The project has to be built in PHP (which is fine by the way) following the principles of MVC. Did I say the codebase looks like shit all over the place? Well that's exactly what it is!!

They use $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] everywhere!! In every fucking file!! Why the FUCK would someone possibly want to do that??

I know I'm not perfect, but what the fuck!!

Now comes the most weird thing. They have to work on a remote server without SSH access, so working with FTP is mandatory. This is because the school won't setup ssh. That's fine by me, but because of that they don't use git!! They upload files directly to the production server. They merge everything manually. I asked why they didn't use git and the answer was so fucking SHIT!! "Because the teacher wants to see who uploaded to the server.."

First off all: what happened to git blame? Second: Later I heard that there is only one FTP account, so all the things they said where just bullshit!!

The fuck.

Tomorrow I'm going to try and convince them to use git..

I always used a Linux VM or xammp to test the sites I make, yesterday I found out about Caddy and its love. Drop a file in the folder named caddyfile and add the executable and your running nothing needed and when your done remove 2 files and push to the server.

My implementation of facebook's haystack storage solution. It's certainly not a faithful recreation, but I think this served my needs better.

The idea is you store all of your files in one large file, and just write down where each of your files starts and ends. This particular implementation I called an indexed haystack because it gives you back an index, sort of like an array.

I was attracted to the idea because it makes the file structure of the server so much more simple, and backups so much easier when you only have a few files rather than a few thousand. Facebook came up with it because it was more efficient to store a million photos all in the same file rather than in a million separate ones.

There is a 100GB limit to each haystack but that isn't technical, it's just a sensible thing to do.

Today I had to restart a VM that should contain only an apache server, after a period of time some clients complained that there a functionality in the system is not working. I checked the code and I found that this functionality is depends on local server in deferent port, so I back to VM log and found there was a node server was working on this port.
Every thing was fine till now, I check folders but there is no FUCKIN js files for node server.
After hours of searching I found 5 files in the public/assets/dist/js path that named with the same functionality name and a number 1 to 4 and the 5th one is a TEST.js. After checking all files I discovered that the server file is the TEST.js !!!!! seriously WTF ...

TIFU by showing login data during presentation

I was presenting my school project when my teacher asked if I could show him the source code. I said ofc, just let me login to the FTP server. I completely forgot that it was also shown on the big screen, and a random funny student logged in and tried to replace the index file with a joke file. Of course, he didn't want to make damage, so he made a backup. But this backup caused the problem, because he connected to the FTP through Windows Explorer (wtf?), and when he made a copy of the original file, it was renamed to "Copy of xy", but in a localized version, which contains special characters. Because of these characters, some FTP clients couldn't even connect, others just couldn't interact with the file. No download, no rename, no delete, nothing. After trying out like 8-9 FTP clients, I just remembered that I could rename it in PHP. Well, it got deleted instead of being renamed, but at least it wasn't there anymore. I have spent like half more hour with searching for a backup version on my computer until I found it.

TL;DR: showed FTP credentials during presentation on big screen, random student accessed and renamed a file, special characters in name fucked up the server, luckily I found a backup.

I just joined a new company.
Their CI pipeline is to give root access to staging and prod servers to every developer in the company and the manually git pull each repository (8-10 repos per server) and manually set nginx and port configurations. And if this wasn't enough, all of the 30 sites they have are basically the same site and they make the changes manually for each tenant (no env file). I'm amazed at how hard some people are willing to work.

There are always days when everything related to school projects seems to hate me. In example we have to create a tunnel from our own computers to access uni's private server and suddenly mine stopped working. Me and my classmate were trying to figure it out for 1,5 hour and even our teacher didnt understand the hell was happening and in the end we found out that even tho we deleted the faulty line from host file the firefox still had it in its cache

I'm developing a web app, which is purely based on some commercial .NET driven API. The documentation is a 12 page MS Word file with incorrect parameters and non-existing endpoints. I think there's also a cronjob which purposely crashes their server every 15minutes. I just love getting client emails saying I need to fix my app and get my shit together.

Being mid-vacation and you remember you forgot to uncomment a 'file_put_content' line in a function for debugging purposes.. It's a script that runs 20 or more times within an hour and appends the entire script output to a file..

I hope the server can handle big text files..

Haven't recieved a phone call, so I guess it's still running.. :D

On my last deployment for the musician client I encountered a really nasty bug.

I configured all the settings in my Nginx. Theoretically everything should work, but it did not. Somehow I always ended up landing on my default Nginx page.

After hours of trying to find the typo, turning it off and on again and praying to all gods I ever heard of, I finally analysed my default Nginx config file. Somehow the server config I posted on the clients conf-file got posted beneath the default configs. WTF?

After deleting those everything worked. 🙄

Stupid stupid university custom exam IDE... first thing select a few lines hit tab oops replaces code with tab character... compile is alt+C and run is alt+R (never seen that before) and you have to go save -> compile -> run.. instead of just hitting run and last but not least it syncs your code with the server so every save file takes 3-5s at which time the editor freezes

ALSO NO DEBUGGER OR JAVA CONSOLE...

Holiday in 6 days, wohoo. 3weeks in Thailand. So ready for it.

Currently working on a huge real estate website. Design got approved yesterday, yesterday I finally got partial access to the clients real estate data. Where the data is uploaded to our server as zip files containing a xml file and files attached to it.
Deadline is tomorrow, but has been pushed back 2-3 weeks, which sucks as I probably have to work whilst on vacation

Spent a good minute figuring it out, but ES modules are pretty great. Using Node.JS 13 (and the --no-warnings flag) I can use the exact same file on both client and server. Wonderful!

Did A big stupid thing right now

Deleted a web page, which took me three days to write. Very pissed right now. Should have added to GitHub repo

I started working on a new file on my project. After I finished working on the project I started doing something which didnt worked out. So I deleted the local version of the repo since the repo was backed up on the server. But the file that I completed last night was not yet added to the repo.