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Her: you're a coder right?
Me: I prefer programmer, yeah why?
Her: I accidentally switched my phone to another language and I...
/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻9 -
Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Don't push to prod today!
But if you do,
Make sure you
Test it all the way!
Happy holidays, y'all!4 -
I keep forgetting people's birthdays and thereby I forget to wish people, and wishing people everyday can become a chore. As somebody once said, if you do something more than once, automate it.
Spent two hours and ended up building a bot that consists of four functions: login, checkIfAuthenticated, postToProfile and getBirthdaysToday using mostly axios and cheerio.
Currently works perfectly and I've been thinking of writing a blog post about it for my 'Automating Your Life' series.
I'll post the link in the comments soon when I'm done with the blog post.
40 -
Just discovered that one of my coworkers(well...my boss really) has the uncanny ability to detect fonts and sizes with extreme accuracy.
For some of you that may be not impressive at all and some can probably do it too. But its like...not only on websites man...she can do it on things that we see printed, menus and stuff.
That to me at least is very impressive.11 -
>Degree i think im getting: software engineering
>Degree my parents think im getting: repair magic2 -
I just noticed the huge amount of Germans on this platform. Gather together, my fellow Schnitzels! 🍻24
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I see this is true.
I am learning software development I understand what the code does but the most difficult part is to think and think and think what code to implement and how you're going to code it to make the program work.
6 -
The first time I ever did a PR on Github, I forked the repo, did the fix, committed the file and put the merge target to my fork master instead of the original repo master.
I then proceeded to accept my own PR and got so excited that it was so quick to merge.1 -
I'm freaking the fuck out.
After months of learning from bootcamp and on my own, after a month of no resumes replied to, after almost giving up I finally got a job opportunity in front-end web development.
The thing is, I have to pass their online test to verify my JavaScript-fu.
3 hours.
4 tasks.
And I feel like garbage who can't understand even the most basic algorithms.
By the power of Grayskull, I don't think I have the power...
Wish me luck.16 -
Making a contest site for a client. It's 2 parts, a static part and then a "hub" where the contest actually takes part. I did most of the static part, and uploaded it to show her. She likes it, but wants to be able to change the content automatically without having to talk to me. Ok, I think. The harder part is the contest site, so she's not gonna run away with my code. I give her access to the ftp and teach her what to do.
To my amazement she takes a liking to html. And starts adding some (super simple) tags. They ruin some of my designs but they look fine. Whatever.
Today she messages me saying that the top picture is off. Hmm, I'll check it out. Turns out almost the entire page is ruined. What's even worse is that she inserted a link to a facebook image she has on top of everything, a picture I don't have access to, and yet she's refusing to admit that it was her mistake. It's not even wrapped in an img tag, it's just pure text!!!
Fine. I'll revert to the version I had. No! cz apparently I can't undo all the changes she's worked hard on. So now I have to go through all the markup and check what's causing this -- and I hate frontend!!!
Worst part of this all? She can't fucking be bothered to type out what her whore infested lying mouth wants to say. She has to send me voicenotes, a few minutes long, filled with uhhh ummm let me think, because that brain who thought learning to write <br/> and <em> is bad ass can't FUCKING formulate a thought before sending it. She has to have me stop my music, and stop my concentration just so she can tell me maybe she pasted it by mistake IN A 5 MINUTE VOICE NOTE. tbh the money isn't even that good. I don't know why I'm still here.
PS: it's not missing an include. I checked.7 -
Mate: I think we should use firebase for our project.
Me: why?, I don't think our project require firebase
Mate: I think there should be some use of firebase in our project.
Me: *madly Explains complete project architecture why we don't need real-time database*
Mate: *not accepting* there should be use of firebase, I'll think and tell you
Me: *Flips table* 😡5 -
!(short rant) && (long story)
So these last 2 months of my life have been quite topsy turvy. Everything was pretty much unexpected and now I am on my way to Banglore, which is referred to as the Silicon Valley of India.
All this started in mid Feb when one day my ceo dropped a mail to all of us saying he wants to covey something important. A little background story about my company before I go on. We were a bunch of 6-7 tech guys working on a location based analytics product and had a decent client base. I had joined them in November 2017 and I was very hopeful that I would get to learn a lot owing to the good seniors from reputed universities and their experience. Coming back to the day, the ceo called us and dropped a bomb on us that the funding is depleted and we only have enough money to pay you salaries for this month. "We didn't anticipate that this day will come but currently we are in talks with some companies that are looking to acquire us. I am very much hopeful that we will figure something out by the end of this month(Feb). Until then, I can't stop you from applying to other companies but don't reveal that we are in this situation." So, keeping my fingers crossed I was waiting for the acquisition and wasn't looking for any other opportunities.
The company work was under hold and during this time one of my friends approached me with his idea. Since I had nothing else to do, I agreed to work with him. I was living in Mumbai, the city with one of the highest living standards in India, and I was paying exorbitant rent without any income. There was no news until mid March when the ceo called and dropped bomb#2 that an Indonesian company is looking to acquire us and he had scheduled an interview for the entire team. This isn't what I had signed up for. Indonesia wasn't a country I had even considered, let alone leave the country. Still I appeared for the interview and it went very well.
No news from the company or the ceo after that. One of my friends advised me to start applying to other companies and not rely on this acquisition. Now the problem was I couldn't reveal about the acquisition in my interview, so I used to give some bullshit about me not liking the work here. The company didn't buy it because how can someone judge a company in just 4 months. So obviously I didn't clear the interviews, also partially because I didn't meet their technical requirements.
March end, I moved to my hometown in Gujarat because obviously I had started to get broke in this expensive-ass city. The friend with whom I was working with also didn't have any issue since it was just tech and coding and I could do it remotely. Comes mid-April when the ceo called and said the acquisition is done and gave me some details about it. For confidentiality sake I can't reveal the details but I figured enough red flags for me to go with it.
*Eye of the tiger playing in the background*
Now started my quest of finding a decent job. The edge I had now was that I could reveal about the acquisition to the other company. I started applying left right and center to any company I could find. Amazon, saavn and some good-ass Indian companies. The thing that now came in my way was my experience. I am 23 year old(soon to be 24) with around 20 months of experience. Everyone wanted a 3-5 year experience guy/girl. Soon, my entire optimism was draining and I even considered going back to my first company.
During this time, I got a call from this company in Banglore who were looking for a candidate which best suited my profile. I went all guns blazing and appeared for the interview. I had 6 rounds of technical interview plus 1 logical reasoning. And since I was giving the interview remotely, I had one round on each alternate working day. Everyday was a challenge and I spent the nights in anxiousness and anticipation. Meanwhile I was appearing for other interviews too, since I wasn't too hopeful about my chances in this one.
Cut to April 27, I got an offer from this company and without negotiating they offered me the package I was hoping for.
After this entire ordeal, I realised one thing. Whatever happens, happens for good. Looking forward to this new city, new company, new people and new environment.11 -
Is it only me or does anyone else think that they are a bad developer? Everytime im on devrant i think that i dont know shit.. :(7
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It blows my mind that Google, advertisers, and a lot of companies seem to not understand the concept of a need fulfilled.
Google news: If you notify me of an article, and then I click on that notification, you can assume I read it. And you can also assume that I don't wish to read it again 2hrs later! So stop notifying me!!!
Amazon, AdSense, Facebook, everyone else: just because I bought new headphones, doesn't mean I wanna see ads for headphones. Actually it means the exact opposite. I don't want new headphones. I literally just bought some. And I especially don't want the exact same ones. I already have them.
Somehow, the targeted ads are worse than random. That's annoying.
How is this hard?10 -
Behold the results of photoshopping pictures for the last 3 weeks....
Now I should be able to delete 10GB of RAWs from my 256GB SSD....
Next up, the 4 hours of videos.... and my interview tomorrow.... wish me luck?
7 -
I today have seen lovers'name carved into a tree. I don't think it's cute. I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date10
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I'm flying Lufthansa right now, and if the wifi on this plane is indicative of German wifi, my rants will become much much much angrier... this is absurd.
For those in Germany with this wifi... HOW DO YOU FUNCTION???!!!?!?!27 -
Interviewer: what's your worst quality?
Interviewee: I'm scrupulously honest
Interviewer: I don't think that's a bad quality
Interviewee: I don't give a fuck what you think3 -
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.
*badum tsss* -
Published my first article on medium the other day, and today I got a private message from an editor, asking if I would be interested in posting to their publication 😁1
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I am a fucking software developer and not an IT guy, I write code and if the fucking printer is not connecting, throw it out of the window, that's way better than calling me for help, because one day, I'll do that, and you'll regret...3
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Hmmmmmm i just got offered a position for a php developer........but something that was not listed in the original application was that it is expected of one to work with wordpress. My wordpress experience is limited to creating simple themes.
I don't like cms systems also. But the position pays really good.
What to do what to do hmmm9 -
My grandmother think I'm a hacker and i can hack banks, police and state department systems.
Her friends think I can start WWIII while i can hack military systems (think nuclear weapons) ...
I feel bad for them.1 -
I think I'm starting to lose sanity.
I'm unconsciously desiring to have bugs just so I can have some feeling of accomplishment fixing them.
I think I'm starting to lose sanity.6 -
i am actually exciting to go to work tommorow.
Thats weird.
Over the weekend the gf was away and it was quite boring, gaming didnt do the thing so i relaxed quite a lot but i am somewhat excited to continue to work tomorrow, to further my project. I was able to stop to do nothing at home, but still..its a bit weird3 -
1. I'm sick with a cold. I'm dying.
2. You know, it feels like some objects' destiny is bound to mine. Like this woolen shawl that over 15 years ago I used to use to keep my head warm in the heavy snow, then forgot it existed and now it resurfaced as I was talking to mom about my head being cold while having the cold.
3. If things go well, this shawl will come with me on my next trip. That is, if this cold doesn't make a stop in afterlife.
**achoo**18 -
I'm 30 years old, sometimes I feel old to study computer/web programming.
What do you think? If it's not true, what can I do to change the way I think about it?28 -
!sure if rant
i think i just realized the main reason i hate programming even though i love programming.
i love being able to think about whatever i want to think whenever i want to think.
but programming jobs inherently and many segments of own hobby projects often require me to think about something specific which someone else requires me to think about...
does that make any sense?1 -
Today:
Someone: OMGz I have a demo in an hour and I need X, Y, Z.
-at this point it's not a big ask-
Me: Ok there that's good.
Someone: Also A,B,C!!!
Me: Ok you need to tell me D, E, F...
-radio silence ... clock continues to click...-
ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ -
Part of me loves devRant for it's diverse community of awesome people doing varied and interesting projects. And their ability to support and learn from each other, or at least agree to disagree.
Another part of me wants to host an API with an isTwat call that allows you to find out if someone's a twat or not, with links to their offending comments and rants. Along with a website for easy Twact™ checking.3 -
wow, to think i joined devRant 3 years ago when i was fourteen
that was so long ago i used to think the phrase "calm your titties" was funny8 -
I received a call from my boss saying I was laid off while I was out.
Wait a minute... I actually just woke up... This was all a dream...
Wonder if it is a message from my subconscious though...
Anyone else dream they get fired?5 -
Microsoft, do you even care what your shitty updates are doing or have you just given up?
Not only did the update start immediately after waking up from standby, it also had to brighten up my day by deleting everything afterwards.
Turns out the anniversary update gets confused by dual boot systems and then just deletes all partitions. And apparently they didn't manage to fix this for months now.
Can't wait for the coming "Creator's update", always wanted to see how an exploding PC looks.1 -
Had a legit argument with a manager about the text in a drop down menu. I argued that it should actually state what the option was for because I care about the user experience... Management wanted to conceal several business logic steps behind an unrelated option in the same menu because of a literal interpretation of the process and the client's request.
Interfaces should tell the user what is going on...2 -
- Think YOU'VE got a personality complex? I'm a software engineer who majored in marketing.
- Think YOU'VE got a phobia about failing? I wrote a book on developing for Google Glass. And tech edited another on Hailstorm.
- Think YOU'VE got self-confidence issues? I had a run of 7 straight rejections by companies in the Fortune 500.
- Think YOU'VE got reservations about flexing your certifications? I held a MCP in FrontPage.
- Think YOU'VE got paranoia about your degree? My MBA's from the University of Phoenix.
- Think YOU'RE a glutton for punishment? I - Think Android Content Providers are a good idea.
- Think YOU'VE got a confusing skill set? A hiring manager told me I was "too passionate about technology to work here at Microsoft".
- Think YOU'VE got issues with intellectual property? I was given a cease-&-desist order for the first domain I registered.
- Think YOU'VE got false bravado? I had over 400,000 followers on Google+.
While all of these are hilarious quips and great social ice breakers, they're all 100% true. Enjoy your day. ;)
15 -
WHY DOES GOOGLE CHROME CACHE THIS SHIT AND WON'T LOAD IT AGAIN. I THOUGHT I DIDN'T FIX THE BUG BUT GOOGLE CHROME IS THE BUG. THIS FLYING FUCK9
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I think the best feeling is seeing you pet project slowly developing and growing.
I think the worst feeling is hearing someone 'meh'-ing while talkingabout it. 😓2 -
I'm absolutely amazed this business keeps going. I've been fighting with an upgrade process (for a product I don't usually work on) for two full days now and every. single. thing. has a million specific workarounds. HOW DOES THIS EVEN GO?1
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What do my family think I do as a Dev?
The most stereotypical thing you can think of, they think I sit on my ass all day procrastinating.
Obviously they're wrong.... I do some work now and then.... only now and then... -
If I make a mistake I own up to it,
Its important I think to just be straight with people.
I do think a lot of devs.... Skirt the truth 🤔 least the ones I worked with1 -
I'm going insane.
My colleague wanted to sort an excel spreadsheet and got an error. "Can't sort, column width must match" (or something along the lines) . Which basically means you got non uniformly merged cells.
Without telling me this, he asked for training on how to change column width precisely, after spending 30 minutes explaining he done just that. Column by column for all 40 columns he did just that. Resized to 10 of something (no one really knows what those width numbers in Microsoft Excel really mean) and try to sort.
I Shit you knot, he got the exact same error and flipped out angry at me for creating a shitty system (I think he spent an hour or two total with double and triple checking the sizes)
I did laugh because of this, but I do feel bad for not asking what was the real reason before all of this.1 -
I typically get constantly interrupted. It’s become part of my workflow. I wish I could work in silence a lot of the time.1
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I see people posting their stickers here, so here is mine. I think it totally represents me. What do you guys think?
6 -
i think im losing my mind.
i swear i placed like, 10 labels on my VB form, the designer even shows it's there! but when i run it for testing it all disappears!
i think i need a break.8 -
I have a gitlab instance behind a reverse proxy at gitlab.mydoman.pizza (yeah my TLD is .pizza 😎🍕). I have a personal site hosted on GitHub pages. I have a CNAME record in GitHub repo pointing to mydomain.pizza. I have 4 A records on my domain registrar pointing to the GitHub pages server IP addresses. now both mydomain.pizza and myusername.github.io both go to my gitlab instance??¿¿ what the fuuuuuckkkkk?¿?¿1
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!rant
guys what do you think of microsoft ergonomic sculpt keyboard?, does it feel good?, i think its pretty cool
11 -
What u guys think which technology.... Literally have biggest impact in the world??
I think mobile phones.
What u guys think?19 -
I think the change is stupid. I also think getting so upset about the change is stupid. Why is everybody so stupid?1
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Google bloody captcha.
It works fine, until you have more than one form on a page then the complexity increases by 100000%.
Finally my colleague gets it working then I read an article that says bots use Google own speech recognition service to defeat it. Fun times.3 -
Finally got the last round of god awful bugs in this god awful shit code fixed. I thought I could finally get back to working on the new build, but no. My reward is updating a god damn pdf, because none of the fucktards here know how. I have to work backwards through all kinds of pointless bullshit code that apparently generates it, all to find a mother fucking image that just needs to be replaced. Thanks a lot, to the tryhard motherfucker who wrote this code. I hope wherever you are, you're in complete agony.2
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I think YouTube is trying to tell me something. I think I'll pass though, I don't really fancy working at such a massive company.
1 -
You know how we mock recruiters for not knowing anything...
I wonder if they have an app where they mock developers ... Probably not they'd need one of us to build it.1 -
I think I need to cut back on coffee. Maybe yesterday's was extra poyent but don't think I got much sleep last night... And now I'm taking a sick afternoon cuz I think I just crashed...
I need to sleep now... But then tonight.... hopefully it's not going into a loop... -
I can crush a watermelon with my thighs. How do you think your neck would fare? And where do you think AoK went?
14 -
So to keep me going through the day I sometimes entertain myself by adding funny comments to my pull requests. I sit there giggling to myself like some sort of lunatic and the rest of the office probably think I'm a nutcase.
Todays gem was:
Added timeout to prevent hanging. Bet they wish they'd had this feature in the 16th century
Honestly I think my talents are wasted here...1 -
User: "help pls! Cant login! Works on my notebook but not on the clients"
Me: "Sure. Have you tried entering your username and password?"
*finally resets password. Problem solved*
ASSHOLE -
2 years ago I thought you had to make an if statement for every coordinate in a game to make the character move1
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Haskell is so funny like if you ask a function for some pizza, you get a bunch of pizza boxes back, and then when you want to put topping on the pizza you're like "hey can i like actually have the pizza now?", and then you realise you can't actually change the pizza so you make copies of them with the topping on.1
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Do you think tracking work hours by ticket makes sense?
I think it's a waste of dev time. Not sure from PM pov.6 -
"hey guys look at soeedtest beta!"
[looks at them with a smirk]
"Hey, you should try it!"
[Shows my custom speedtest instance]
Me: "I had this weeks before you guys caught with the flow"
yeah new speedtest is awesome but a custom speedtest is even more awesome3 -
Am I the only one that feels like the Linux sound driver (alsa) have a more clean sound than the windows drivers? I'm a pianist (at least I'm playing the piano in my free time 😜) and I feel more comfortable with the sound on my Linux. (I use the same physical piano modeling software on both systems)1
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So I just started learning Swift, and I think it's modern, beautiful and a bit weird. Like the Portuguese of programming languages.
I think it should be used more.3 -
Just a random quote I found today.
I am not what I think I am.
I am not what you think I am.
I am what I think you think I am.5 -
Do you think elon musk will do good things to twitter? And do you think he will make some things open source? I don't think i want to see twitters source code16
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so I've made a coolors palette, and I think it looks good. What do you guys think?
https://coolors.co/u/fbarda4 -
So I have noticed if I think I know much of logic in programming and I can solve this problem better way I actually code better.
And when I think no I'm just a noob programmer I ask stupid question to myself and get my self confidence blown.
Thing is don't think you are bad, think of just you'll put all the experience all the knowledge you got in this program (according to its requirement) -
Reading the internets in 2020, I've seen an increase in the usage of the term "Orwellian." It has led to many Inigo-Montoya moments.3
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listenables, singable, crap = select(spotify.discover_weekly,out_loud,[])
for song in listenables:
if song.style == 'oldie':
print "Seriously Spotify? Do I look like I'm 65?"
time.sleep(5.0)
out_loud.append(song)
if song.style == 'cool':
time.sleep(2.0)
continue -
We have a custom made CMS, where you can use templates (previous designs). Most of the time I see these templates with Javascript/jQuery that looks like this...
Edit: There is an extra $ in front of the first (function($). So like this: $(function($)
6 -
I think I just figured out my problem. I can't think of any dream that I want. As I sat here, there is not a single thing that I could dream... I just wanted to stop feeling this way.1
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I think I've hit the co-worker jackpot.
Downside: I'm afraid to make any changes, because I don't think I'll get this lucky again. -
Find a simple project that I think would fit the technology and Google how to so every single baby step I think my application will need to do.
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I think the dev missed a nullcheck before `handlebars.compile(name)`, don't you think?
// this snippet is from our product's repo ;)
7 -
Any recommendation (super) thin laptop under $1000?
I think of lenovo yoga, but I don't need the touch screen, and I think it's just upping the price.15 -
Me: Working on trying to salvage our shitty project
PM: EMAILS ARN'T BEING SENT FOR OUR TEST ENVIRONMENTS
Me: Ohkay.. Is it urgent? I fixed it last time.. Seems like the other devs broke it.
PM: YES WE NEED TO PASS ALL OUR TEST CASES ASAP
Me: Well maybe it should be failed if it keeps breaking all the time..
PM: SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH WHAT YOU CHECKED AND OVERNIGHT YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT WITH OUR TERRIBLE OFFSHORE TEAM
Me: uhm... Ok
Also me:
2 -
Oh shit I've had way to much caffeine 🤤
Heart is full on racing I haven't had any for a few weeks and I just had 2 relentless... High caffeine energy drinks
Oh fuck.... Loud music and hype might help !?
Anyone? -
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can Ahh darn missing semi colon... I think I can I think I can!!
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I think I'm the only one who doesn't like the new black theme... I think I'll stick with the current dark instead3
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I think actually this question is asking the wrong crowd...
I think we're more often ranting about it experiences with incompetent ones? -
I am in Nepal and most of the people here don't think functional programming is a best approach ( I personally think it is ) what's your situation?4
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I think this has been asked for before but I think it would be cool to add polls to our rants. Even if rsnts with polls are confined to their own section or something. I think this would benefit the devRant team too, as I know they like to collect statistics on strange things about the dev community.
Vote if you think this is a good idea.... Wait... 🙃 -
Iam posting this coz I think and think and think and it's gone for so long.... And still got nothing funny to post here..... I just successfully wasted my time.. Congratulation to me!
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Based on deaddrop I create a chat app. No I think about that only one message from each chat member is displayed at the same time.
What do you think one message per member or multiple messages?
By the way I think that the most Chat rooms will have two persons at the same time. It would be very privat I think 🤔 -
If I think about it, it's pretty cool.
If I think about it in more detail, it's simply a fucking prick.
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