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Substitute Teacher who apparently majors in Java sees my copy.
T - Your programs are incomplete
M - You mean ?
T - Where are the braces ?
M - Its Python
T - It works ?
M - Yes
T - It works on linux ?
M - Yes -_-6 -
Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.7
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Anyone ever had the opposite of "It works on my machine"? (Works everywhere else, just not on my machine)16
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That moment when the resident IT guy/teacher at your school comes to you at lunch and you look sad.
Me: Hello.
Teacher: What happened?
Me: Batteries almsot dead :(
Teacher: Well, I've got good news for you. I was talking to the school director about you.
Me: Um ... shit
Teacher: We're looking to get you an intership at the company that does networking shit for us (Netcom, anybody?)
Me: FUCK YEAH ... thanks!
*Day brightened by angelic light*7 -
Told someone I'm working on an 0Auth server/library.
*but that already works/exists, why re-invent the weel?*
Because although it indeed already exists/works, I'd rather re-invent the weel and also throughout the process learn how it works in depth than just using an implementation and not learning much new (when I've got time, of course)!10 -
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
IT WORKS AFTER 3 HOURS!
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH6 -
My Hackintosh project works! The GTX 1050 Ti runs, it boots without USB needed and even audio works!
27 -
me: your code base is vulnerable, you are not using prepared statements
him: not an issue, nobody knows
me: ...
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯13 -
The stupid stories of how I was able to break my schools network just to get better internet, as well as more ridiculous fun. XD
1st year:
It was my freshman year in college. The internet sucked really, really, really badly! Too many people were clearly using it. I had to find another way to remedy this. Upon some further research through Google I found out that one can in fact turn their computer into a router. Now what’s interesting about this network is that it only works with computers by downloading the necessary software that this network provides for you. Some weird software that actually looks through your computer and makes sure it’s ok to be added to the network. Unfortunately, routers can’t download and install that software, thus no internet… but a PC that can be changed into a router itself is a different story. I found that I can download the software check the PC and then turn on my Router feature. Viola, personal fast internet connected directly into the wall. No more sharing a single shitty router!
2nd year:
This was about the year when bitcoin mining was becoming a thing, and everyone was in on it. My shitty computer couldn’t possibly pull off mining for bitcoins. I needed something faster. How I found out that I could use my schools servers was merely an accident.
I had been installing the software on every possible PC I owned, but alas all my PC’s were just not fast enough. I decided to try it on the RDS server. It worked; the command window was pumping out coins! What I came to find out was that the RDS server had 36 cores. This thing was a beast! And it made sense that it could actually pull off mining for bitcoins. A couple nights later I signed in remotely to the RDS server. I created a macro that would continuously move my mouse around in the Remote desktop screen to keep my session alive at all times, and then I’d start my bitcoin mining operation. The following morning I wake up and my session was gone. How sad I thought. I quickly try to remote back in to see what I had collected. “Error, could not connect”. Weird… this usually never happens, maybe I did the remoting wrong. I went to my schools website to do some research on my remoting problem. It was down. In fact, everything was down… I come to find out that I had accidentally shut down the schools network because of my mining operation. I wasn’t found out, but I haven’t done any mining since then.
3rd year:
As an engineering student I found out that all engineering students get access to the school’s VPN. Cool, it is technically used to get around some wonky issues with remoting into the RDS servers. What I come to find out, after messing around with it frequently, is that I can actually use the VPN against the screwed up security on the network. Remember, how I told you that a program has to be downloaded and then one can be accepted into the network? Well, I was able to bypass all of that, simply by using the school’s VPN against itself… How dense does one have to be to not have patched that one?
4th year:
It was another programming day, and I needed access to my phones memory. Using some specially made apps I could easily connect to my phone from my computer and continue my work. But what I found out was that I could in fact travel around in the network. I discovered that I can, in fact, access my phone through the network from anywhere. What resulted was the discovery that the network scales the entirety of the school. I discovered that if I left my phone down in the engineering building and then went north to the biology building, I could still continue to access it. This seems like a very fatal flaw. My idea is to hook up a webcam to a robot and remotely controlling it from the RDS servers and having this little robot go to my classes for me.
What crazy shit have you done at your University?9 -
If I keep ignoring issues they'll eventually overflow and I'll have a negative amount of bugs, right?4
-
It works!! IT WORKS!!! IT MOTHERF@CKING WORKS!!
My private program FINALLY WORKS, and DOES WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO....
YAAAAAYYYY!!!4 -
Wow, well done Me, pretty successful robot here!
(In all fairness, the wheels don't fall off too much)
12 -
"Apple, it just works"
People, we might have misinterpreted the "just"!
"Apple, it only works [the way Apple meant for it to work]"9 -
Me: the websites now works on all devices.
Client: now make it work on IE6.
*1 week later*
Me: the site now works on IE6 too.
Client: awesome, now make it work on Netscape navigator 56 -
Me: will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: What? No ways!!
Me: sudo will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: Hell ya !! 😘
.
.
.
Me: *wakes from sleep* Damnit, wish I could sudo everything!!😓5 -
My favorite IT story (not mine) is that the server needed to be rebooted whenever it froze completely. The best solution? Get an old PC that had a CD drive, and every time it loses connection to the server, eject the CD tray which had a poking stick attached that hits the reset button.3
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You know you're passionate when you won't sleep until it works. Then after it worked, you're not satisfied. You still want to make it robust and then...
"Is that the sun?"
Being a programmer is such a roller coaster feeling. Sometimes, you extremely hate what you're doing. But you still persevere and that's just wonderful.
!!!rant -
Holy shit balls it works (so far)
-
So I’ve been working on a project... well feature for the past year (yes 12 whole fucking months - anti agile I know)
And today I got to merge that bitch of a pull request into the current working branch and deploy it to UAT - no conflicts 😵I think I need to put the lottery on tonight!
And some how, by some stupid lucky roll of the dice it just works.
I have never felt so afraid and delighted in my life!6 -
why the fuck do people on here like firefox quantum:
- windows: works, does its job well, but fuck it!
- php: works, does its job well, but fuck it!
- wordpress: kinda does its job, but fuck it!
- firefox quantum: works, does its job well, but ❤️ it13 -
StackOverfllow -> Copy Code -> Doesn't work -> Study its working -> Read related info on other websites -> Code starts to make sense -> Do the required changes in code as per the understanding -> Got it working.
I only learn if the initial 2 steps fail. Else I skip the latter. -
When you code a bunch of stuff while horribly stoned, and the next day it all still works really well, but you cannot for the life of you figure out how or even why it works.4
-
*bunch of if statements*
Friend shouts proudly everywhere : I implemented an AI!
Me : but that's not how AI works
Friend : but it works just as an AI, so it is one, who cares?
😥3 -
Your git commit history on your personal branch when you're freaking out and cry tears in joy because the code you spent the whole previous week on to somehow get it to work suddenly DOES work.
3 -
* !rant *
So I've been working since the summer on an app that uses NLP to record audio (I was thinking of using it for school classes), transcribe it and summarize it automatically
I've been using it at school and it WORKS
IT WORKS
I've actually put an app that I made to make my homework and sum classes up and IT WORKS
8 -
Well something happened to my Ubuntu and suddenly.... <poof> it supports my Nvidia GPU now </poof>16
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Me: I want to learn Clojure
Me: But I need real tasks to learn
Me: OK, reconnecting device with wireless adb
Inner me: Are you kidding? 5 lines with bash
Me: In clojure it will be more elegant and faster to write similar tasks in future
*2 hours later*
Me: IT WORKS
Internal me: Really? This is ugly as fuck. And the only clojure feature it uses - sh and re-find
Me: But... It... Works... *cries* -
Guys, i found it, the peak of modern technology. This usb cable can be inserted either way and it works (and it's not usb c) . I don't know how does it handle inverse polarity but it works !
9 -
WTF is this bullshit?!! I set an alarm on my phone for 9:00 and 9:15 just in case... The alarms went off at 10:00 and 10:15, now I am an hour late for work. Just how does that even work?!!! Yeah, time changes but you don't change the fucking alarm Huawei! FFS... I really don't look forward to explaining this...
Also.. devRant on mobile seems to be broken? :( @dfox14 -
- 13 GB free on HDD - App Store says not enough space to update Xcode
- Delete Xcode, gets stuck, 3 restarts, force empty trash
- 30 GB free on HDD - App Store says not enough space to install Xcode
- free up 40 more GB
- App Store:
13 -
IT is currently putting on a giant presentation at the corporate offices telling them that our development team builds all of our apps using MS PowerApps and that all of our internal development is done using no code tools…what fucking planet did they visit to come to that conclusion??6
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Greatest dev sin.... oh god there’s been a few over the years.
Hmm 🤔
I guess one of the top 5 would be making an ecommerce platform without unit testing or documentation for the front or backend. 🤫
Mind you it runs smoothly to this day so I was doing something right 😦1 -
No work experience: I'm gonna be the best programmer in the world. My code is beautiful. This is my passion.
After 1-2 years experience: just f@#$!ng work pls so i can go home goddamit i hate my life im hungry f@$!% everyone.4 -
*doing the happy dance*
🕺💃🕺🎶🕺💃🕺🎶🎶🕺💃🕺
IT WORKS!! It finally WORKS!!! For the first time. AND IT WORKS!!!
```
^s^s^s^s^s^s^s
git add .
git commit -m 'IT WORKS!!!!'
git push origin
git push backup1
git push backup2
```
*continues with the dance*8 -
Today I reached a point where I made an really bad looking, uneficient, unreadable function, but it works!, That's what counts right?!
Just kidding, I just couldn't fix it, hopefully the me from tomorrow will be smarter.7 -
Me: “We should use WordPress so the marketing person doesn’t have to wait weeks to get on our dev schedule to make simple edits.”
Boss: “You’re fired for even suggesting we use WordPress. We are more pure than this.”
Me: *leaves company*
3 years later, company uses WordPress after boss who fired me is also fired.13 -
A classmate's earphones once stopped working, I went to go look at it. After a bit of tinkering, I said, "The speakers on these are toast, you'll need a new pair." Then, some random kid grabbed the tablet mind you, and not the earphones, played in the settings, and said "Fixed." I then told them, "This is a hardware issue, not a software issue." What's worse? Some people said "So, software and hardware are the same thing."
Mississippi is just full of computer Illiterates.19 -
me: "my code works"
him: "no it doesnt, it crashes"
me: "..but it works on mine......"
and then i have to redo it again1 -
My biggest insecurity? CSS, of course. God knows how that shit works. I just keep on trying until it works.
5 -
I have successfully employed a function that uses recursion....
Because I stubbornly tried every possible iteration of the code until it became right.
I still don't get why it works.7 -
I finally found it!
I set up an self-hosted gitlab at our company and for some reason everything worked except for one thing: using git (clone, push, etc) via SSH.
The solution was on the 'common installation problems' page at gitlab, but it took me a long time finding it through Google.
I read through the auth.log and realized the 'git' user was locked. Swapped the '!' for a '*' in the /etc/shadow and now it works. -
So, for my C class, the computers in the lab are using VS 2015. To be able to compile C we have to change some settings to allow the program to compile.
I like to use my computer (with Arch Linux) and use my tools (Vim and GCC).
The guy next to me was trying to do the homework, but he was struggling. I decided to give it a shot and I was able to do it, so I showed him my code and he tried it in the computer.
The program crashes every time no matter what. We asked the professor. I show him my code and how it's working. Apparently he was confused because I was using the terminal and not VS. So he proceeded to said that it's because I'm not using VS2015 and GCC is doing the whole work for me.
I'm like ಠ_ಠ and then he keeps saying that he doesn't know what or how GCC works (for real? Someone that teaches C and has a Ph. D on CS doesn't now what GCC is?) but that it is apparently doing everything for me. So my code should be wrong if it crashes on VS2015.... ಠ_ಠ
What do you think? I'm thinking about talking with the head department of CS (I know that he is a Linux guy) and see what happens. Should I do it? Or should I just use VS2015 as the "professor" is asking?
I even tried online compilers to see if it was just working on my computer, but even they use GCC to compile.5 -
Debugging stage always consist of three phases:
1. It doesn't work.
2. It works.
3. It definitely works :)2 -
I had no idea of how to implement the logic of a ticket. That's why I started with creating some unit tests that failed. Then I continued working until they all passed.
So it works now.
I have still no idea of how I implemented the logic.3 -
Don't you just hate it when your code works but you have no idea why, so you spend 30 minutes trying to figure out why it works?1
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That specific moment a C# Developer (me) makes an API for Modding his own game but the mod language is Lua.
(And it works)
6 -
I am scared... I'm scared because the code works.. but it shouldn't work I mean it's not supposed to get triggered and I have no idea what triggers it. It feels like my program got cursed and started doing things on it's own. I even put up blocks to stop the function from triggering but it still works... It always works.. I am scared...7
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*has a test in school on html and javascript*
*Studies a lot and checks to see if code works*
*it works*
*goes into test confident*
*None of the Javascript works* (legit nothing)
Kill me6 -
"Got a new soundcard yay, lemme Install it!"
*5 mins later*
"why won't it give me sound ffs, the input works just fine"
*5 mins later*
"Great, sound output works"
*taps mic*
"oh ffs..."
*5 mins later*
"yay, input now works"
*puts on some music*
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHINEDOWS!?"5 -
Submitting my changes for review and my CTO catches the line:
```js
console.log("It fucking works")
```7 -
PSA MacOS Sierra 10.12 will make any user who wasn't the original admin user a standard user, it will also reset the original admin users password back to whatever it was when the MacBook was first set up. It all just works!
-
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it
I gave it to you straight don't mix it"...
Since when did DMX take on Programming?1 -
My laptop has its own life...
I arrived at the lecture, start the laptop, black screen... Alrighty, might be the update from yesterday, I will just revert to the old version. Nothing... After multiple reboots and troubleshooting, I put my laptop down and go the old way of sitting down notes.
Then I come home after university and I'm set on fixing my laptop. I start it, it works perfectly fine...
I'm not even sure what fixed it..6 -
HAPPINESS IS
...when the code works!
"especially when vertical align works in a way you never thought it would..."1 -
I've been a Windows OS user for nearly 20 years, Mac OS user for nearly 2. (Java/ C# dev)
I've had more BSOD on the Mac than on Windows. I've had 2 today, once when opening the laptop after not touching it this weekend, second whole in a debug of an app.6 -
There is how you think a system works, and there is how it actually works. Unit tests help keep those two ideas in sync with each other7
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Saying Java is good because it works on every operating system, is like saying anal sex is good, because it works with every gender!9
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Anyone else just nest a bunch of ifs and loops and feel absolutely disgusted but it works so you don't want to refactor it?
5 -
Me: "Oh right I still had to fix that"
Me: *fixes thing*
Me: *checks on staging to make sure it all works*
Thing: *works absolutely fine*
Me: "Cool, let's promote it"
Me: *updates production stack*
Me: *checks on production to make sure it works*
Thing: *still broken*
dsfhjh dsaghdsaupot nvhudfot vnhgue6 -
OSX multi windows management is so fucking dumb and confusing! FFS have some kind of indicator when a program has multiple windows open.6
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Not caring about code styling and just committing because whiny people annoy me. It works; it works. I should probably abid by code styling standards and do a precommit but bite me 🖕🖕🖕2
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That awesome feeling you get when your linux project finally works .... and you dont know why but it works.
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It works. My code fucking works. It shouldn't. I got tons of errors, I changed to some obscure shit, expecting it to fail, but it fucking works. I should be happy, but I'm mad for not understanding how.3
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Code review moment that I hate
Me: This is a bad practice. You shouldn't do this
Developer: But it works
*Showed articles and examples why it's bad*
Developer: I see. But it works. Why should I change it?2 -
:-(
Firefox doesn't map correctly the controller (Xbox One) but it works on Chrome. (FF on Android Works)
This is literally the first time (for me) that something works on Chrome and not on FF. (at first shot)
usually it is the opposite.
One point for Chrome (this time)
but still 6,022*10²³ Points for FF.3 -
Hate those bugs, where you stumble upon a fix but have no idea why it fixes it or what is causing the bug!2
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Linear algebra is a hammer that actually works well on things akin to a nail when wielded right. Do you have a similar wildcard that works everytime you try it?2
-
We got a relatively cheap logic analyzer (we is me and my dad) and we tried finding the drivers for it.
Their website was a dead-end and it didn’t come with any disk or something. Somehow, Seleae’s website had a suitable driver, and it is completely unrelated to the product we bought.
(Seleae is a company that sells god-tier logic analyzers)
WHAT THE FUCK, SPARKFUN?!
Also, regarding the devRant rewrite project I am currently searching for some nice (and practical at the same time) design for the profile view.8 -
Last year, 2nd year of Uni, we had to create an app that read from CSV file that contained info on the no of ppl in each class and things like grades and such and had to display graphs of all the info tht you could then export as a pdf.
This had to also be sone in a team. I, however, hate doing anything other than programming (no team leader, pm bullshit) so I tell them I want to be one of the programmers (basically split the roles, rather than each one doing a bit of everything like my professor wanted) and we did.
I program this bitch wverything works well, I am happy. Day of the presentation comes, one of the graphs is broken... FUCK. I then go past it and never discuss the error. We got a 70.
I swear to God it worked on my computer -.-
I also have to mention that our professor was the client and he had set an actual deadline until we can ask him questions. After the deadline I realized I didn't know what a variable in the csv file was for and when I went to ask him he said "You should've asked me this before. I can't tell you now". My team was not the only one that didn't know and he gave the exact answer to everybody else. Got the answer from another team. Turns out it was useless.
He was the worst client ever. Why tf would you put a deadline on when you can ask the client questions?! I should be able to fucking ask questions during production if you want the product as you want it >.<7 -
Do love it when your code works and the system to implement it works.
But when you run it, it doesn't work.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ -
When you code sth. From ground up and it works everything without any errors as you wanted, even though you’re using 2 APIs in about 20 lines. This feels so good :)
-
They say that runing the same command over and over again is a sign of insanity.
LIKE HELL IT IS!!!
I've been running `terraform apply` for the last hour (trying to dump an EKS token in plain-text, because my k8s-related providers failed to auth to the cluster), and miraculously the problem went away. Now the error is no more.
Insanity?
I beg to differ!
Narf!
3 -
Saying "Java is the best programming language because it works across all platforms" is the same as saying "Butt sex is the best form of sex because it works across all of the animal kingdom"10
-
Have you ever built something that works, but then you had to spend the next two hours trying figure out how the hell it works?2
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I accidentally deployed a patch to the development server instead of the production server (which is what I wanted) and somehow it was also deployed to production. I have no idea how, but everything's working so idgaf. If it works it's all good.7
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We had programming classes in school today and I was using same computer yesterday but today it wouldn't boot up properly. So what I did is I have just restarted it multiple times and now it works again. I don't know why this happened but if it works I won't question it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1
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First thing that I do with weird bug: trying to execute buggy code inside runOnUiThread{} / DispatchQueue.main.async{} and see if it works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-
Fuckadoodling finally!
After 3 days of digging through the documentation of CraftCMS and Yii Framework I got the hang out of how these Controllers, Actions and other RESTful api stuff works on Craft3.
As some of you may have noticed, I am a big fan of CraftCMS (v2) since it was introduced to me. A few days ago we discussed a new project and the option go for Craft3, as it has been released for some time now.
The changes from v2 to v3 are huge... I didn't expect to almost reach my limit to give up on it!
But since the RESTful routes finally work, with proper data serializing and all, I will now go drink a Whiskey or ten and wish you all an awesome, client-disturbance-free, decadent, beerful weekend!
Cheers mateys!
🎉🎊🍭🥃🥃🥃🍻🍺🥂 -
There was a project I took over that was supposed to be at 90% when the previous developer quit. The project was in QA with some "minor" bugs that needed to be fixed. When I looked at the minor bugs I realized that the project had major underlying data issues. So after working 80 hour weeks I managed to hobble it together and make the release date.
That was a little over three years ago. Since then another developer has taken over maintenance and enhancements on the product and overall the application works pretty well for what it is.
So his analogy is, that the application is a tank that was made out of aluminum foil that has been hit many times in battle. Whenever it has been hit we have patched the tank with random things like bricks, soda bottles, and old car doors yet somehow it keeps going. The tank is still surviving the war but we really don't know how.
🐜 -
Tmw your carefully crafted plan of some feature you thought would be a particually bit of tricky code turns, through a bit of stumbling and trial and error, into something even better than your well calculated plans -- however clever you thought you were -- you have to admit that the result exceeded your expectations and intelligence. Especially when it works!1
-
My dilemna right now is whether should I:
- test the new idea to see if it works so I can go to sleep in peace
- or not test the new idea before I go to sleep so maybe I can sleep in peace. Just not at peace with myself.2 -
I underatand that Entity Framework makes things easy when it works. But when it doesnt, it is the worst thing ever. And it works less often than it should. THANK YOU FORMER EMPLOYEE FOR LEAVING US WITH A SYSTEM THAT HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN.1
-
2010 - SSIS - it works.
2015 - SSIS - it works, but very slowly. at least the icons/gui are up to date?
2017 - SSIS - it kind of works, and deployment is broken so you have to run isdeploymentwizard.exe by hand! Also slower then previous version.
2019 - SSIS - IMA BREAK ALL YOUR CONNECTIONS OKAY?
bonus rant: upgrade to newer package version, lose all VSTA scripts. like... gone.
FML1 -
YES! YES! YEEEEES! FINALLY!
I've been trying to get some systems to run successfully on docker swarm. Now forget a regular swarm, there have issues just getting it to pass CI builds, and Finally, YES FINALLY it passed!!!!
I now need to pass my self on the back...
-
Just experienced the other side of "but it works on my machine"
Had problems with some code, stopped by professor office asking for help, downloaded the .sh from our git and it magically works -
Breaking things directionally. See it, break it, try to put it back, fail, repeat. When it works, you probably get it.
-
I'm in a situation where the more working code I write, the more I'm getting close to get an error EVEN IF the code still works perfectly. (I can assure you it works).
It feels bad.1 -
Creates a model for analysis services and deploys it
*works*
Tweaks the model a little bit
*error*
Recreates the exact same model with the tweaks but in a new project and deploys it
*works*
... -
My build is failing on the CI server
you are the DevOps engineer please fix it
this is not how this works, this is not how any of this works -
Honestly, am I the same guy who wrote this code 4 years ago? How comes I never commented it! Shit man. What do you do with code that works just fine but you don't know how it works..???2
-
Unable to give detailed explanation of how my code works. Like why do I need to explain as long it works 😏4
-
I had to generate different kinds of graphs at compiletime and had to compile a graph and write down the code size for that specific width/height in addition to one of three implementations which all need to be evaluated. I computer scienced the shit out of it!
I wrote some Rust code that easily lets me build some graphs with the dimensions passed as input parameter. Then i wrote a method that converts the graph into the definition of the graph in a C header (sadly the only way) and wrote a bash script that executes that rust code with all possible dimensions and saves the header into my source folder. Then i build the application and write the programsize into a file.
In the next step i run a python script that reads all the generated files with the sizes and created a csv file which in turn can be used by excel/numbers to visualize the dependency between depth of graph and code size 😄
I had only some hours for it all, it is messy but works 😄 -
Oh there are lots of good tools to handle different screen sizes like containers, anchors, scaling and all that good stuff huh ?
.
.
.
Sets it to stretch mode instead -
Wrote my Java servlet/JSP homework assignment and it works perfectly on localhost. Upload the WAR file to remote and nothing works >:(
-
Capitalism - the only moral system ever devised. Nope not devised, realised it actually works. Markets works, market flourishes. Price discovery works.
Shelves running out of stock around the world should give a taste of communism and central planning. Centralists have no clue what everyone needs.9 -
Made a !rant about me making a market economy simulation.
It kinda works. It works way too good. Way too stable prices. Something will explode for sure and I can't fricking find out where or what!1
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