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Boss: Need the software ready till evening.
Me: Haste makes waste.
Boss: You are going to write waste anyway.7 -
Don't let your team working be like this:
Monday:
Frontend: Hey, is the API ready?
Backend: Sure, will give you later
Tuesday:
Frontend: @backend, is the API ready?
Backend: yeah, yeah, will give you later, yesturday is busy.
Wednesday:
Frontend: @backend, is it ready?
Backend: Been working on some prd bugs, will give you later
Thursday:
Frontend: @backend...
Backend: ...
Friday:
Frontend: @backend...
Backend: Oh, I just find out that you should ask @backend_b for this API...
(I was actually trying to get my avatar, but this story is real)15 -
At least it wasn't Disney who acquired GitHub. Not sure if the world is ready for GitHub branded tampons yet.7
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Not sure what hapend... On my laptop running Ubuntu 17.10, I just got a notification:
Problem occured: "Ubuntu is ready"
Not sure what to do now... :P8 -
Wish me luck! Just posted a question on StackOverflow...
Ready to get downvoted all the way down to the earth’s crust.11 -
when u spend 2 hours desperately trying to fix a bug. Give up, off the computer and get ready for bed. the moment you get comfortable and ready to sleep. You solve the problem mentally in ur head. Get back up, on the computer and continue coding.
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I would really like to use Atom. If it managed to start earlier than a woman getting ready for a date.11
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One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"
Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
... One month later ...
Them: "Is it ready yet?"
Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"
Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"
... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔4 -
So our robotics team just got some code ready and our robots servos are reading hardware fault. Fml
20 -
If you're gonna comment a lot or a little, at least be consistent. I just read some code like this:
//prints "are you ready?"
printf("are you ready?");
//get the value
int findVal(int x) {
/* some fucking complex algorithm with no comments whatsoever that seems to have an error messing everything up */
}10 -
I was a long time just a silent reader but finally registered me.
So get ready for some hate, mothertruckers 🤙15 -
Dutch devRant meeting.
The current idea is:
Place: The Hague
Starting date: Saturday the 21th of October.
Ending date: Sunday the 22th for the ones who'd like or just Saturday for the ones who'd like that more.
Spot/place within the hague: (help me out here people)
People can get their own sleeping accommodation. Please ask if you cant find anything :).
So for now remains as main point: when/what time!
Share your throughts in the comments.31 -
FUCK YOU WINDOWS. HOW MANY FUCKING HOURS DO YOU NEED TO 'GET THINGS READY' ? IT'S BEEN 5 FUCKING HOURS ALREADY 😠 Even a woman doesn't take that long to get ready!
2 -
Stand up... Walk away...
The Coding Gods will deliver the answer to you when you are ready to receive it.2 -
Sideproject/side job is getting ready....
30 screens in Sphere for synchronized playback :)
Nucs+ssds+ram
5 -
My typical morning Teams exchange:
Newb: GM (requesting connection)
Me: GM (connection established)
Newb: How r u? (requesting headers)
Me: Good (headers sent)
Newb: You free? (ready for comms?)
Me: Sure (comms ready)
…
Feels like a bad internet protocol.9 -
Getting ready for production.
Search: console.log
Replace: //console.log
Search: ////console.log
Replace: //console.log
...
Aaaaaand we're good.8 -
!dev, sort of
Days like today make me not ready for Monday. Goddamnit nature, why you gotta be so pristine?
15 -
So what's preventing me from launching my startup/service/platform to the public? Not ready to deal with users like Nancy.
2 -
Today I built my own desktop. Ready for varnishing and some legs :D home made office for working at home
15 -
Baby asleep, headphones pumping, beer poured, ready to code my MERN stack application :-)......20mins later still on dev rant!!! :-(3
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So I’m installing all the updates to Xcode and OSX to get ready to make an app update. Get ready, restart for the OSX update, reboots about 3 times. Apple splash screen comes up... Alright that was a pretty fast one...and then FUCKING FRUIT FUCKERS
6 -
http://zty.pe/
Yes, I've just made your day.
Best way to get to coding is to get those fingers ready ;)9 -
Boss: our team in El Salvador is having problems with the app. Look at the email I forwarded you.
Me: oh yes. They are running the wrong ionic commands they need to run these commands.
Boss: okay, and that will fix everything?
Me:...Let's just have them enter the right commands...we can go from there.1 -
Recent boot camp grad here with a solid portfolio...holy crap...this industry is so illogical...got a call from a recruiter whose job needs 3 years experience. I demonstrated I know every single one of the requirements, have implemented them, know pros and cons, etc. She says OK I'll run it by my manager and see because we can't fill the spot and it requires 3 years but you meet all the qualifications. I get an email the next day, and she says sorry, we actually need 5 years...fucking face palm...I'll apply again in 5 years because that job will still be open. Really sucks that the only thing holding me back from landing a job is experience, not knowledge. No employer wants to touch me with a 10 foot pole...how long will it take be to find a job...jesus christ.13
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A girl takes less time in getting ready as compared to windows 10😂😂😂
#WeekendHumour
#myOriginaldontCopy😏
11 -
CEO: Please have the dev ready to update Product on 8/20.
Me: That's premature.
CEO: Okay, let them know they'll be updating the team on 8/20.
Fuck. You.2 -
Me: “here’s a demo of the backend functionality you requested. We’ve got more work to do to make this production ready. Let me know your thoughts or if we need to make any changes, otherwise I’ll hand this off to the UX team, we’ll be ready to go live next month after other they deliver the front end”
PM: *telling stakeholders* “The new thing is done and ready for go live”
Me: *privately to PM* “who told you that the thing was ready for go live?”
PM: “You did”
Me: “I suggest you go read what I wrote a little more closely”5 -
I think my MacBook Pro from early 2011 is ready for retirement 😔 froze two times today during gaming...10
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Built an entire web application and while it's ready for beta testing, I realized I forgot to add a logout function...
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Stories from Gary #000
Short background info:
So I'm working as a game dev for 3 years now and by now I can say that I've seen some shit. Mostly because of one of our game designers, let's call him Gary.
So Gary, from here on called GDG (Game Designer Gary), is a regular game designer (GD). His job is to come up with new game ideas, commission the assets, make sure that translations are done, etc. - simply put, he has to get a lot of shit together before we can start working on a new game.
Would be no problem at all if GDG wasn't lazy as shit and would work for once in his life. No dev really wants to work with him anymore, since he's known for calling a game or any issue "ready for development" even if half the assets or specs are still missing.
Let's move on to a particular situation that happened a couple of months ago.
I had an issue assigned to me, which was about implementing the translations for a new game. As I read the issue and checked if everything I needed was given, I noticed that the most important part was in fact missing - the keywords for the translations.
-.-
So, I called GDG and asked where I could find the keywords, to which he responded "Oh, I'm working on them right now... and by the way I got a weird bug with the translation program. Can you come check it out?". Sigh. I went over to his office, rambling about how I should be able to help him with a program I rarely use and which was written ages ago.
As soon as GDG saw me coming roundbthe corner, he started explaining how the keywords aren't ready yet, since the program to create translations and their keywords won't let him name a translation.
"I can create new translations, but I can't assign a keyword to them."
"Okay, show me what you did", I told him, eager to leave.
He started to type the keyword, which turned out to be huge ass long and immediately I noticed a little counter, like "x/50", directly beneath the text field started to count up with every new character GDG typed. See where I'm going with this? HE WASNT ABLE TO RENAME A TRANSLATION BECAUSE HE WAS TOO LAZY TO FUCKING READ AND CONCENTRATE FOR ONCE. Sorry for that, but even thinking about it gets me angry again.
To some this might sound like nothing, but it really got to me at this point. Maybe it will become more understandable as I post more GDG stories.
tl;dr: A 40 something year old man, who's been working in his job for over 10 years wasn't able to use a program which he daily uses and asks me for help, only to find out he's a complete dipshit.4 -
Yesterday: Deloyment will be delayed untill further notice.
Today: we have 20 minutes to ready everything for deployment.
Wonderful2 -
If you're close to getting the application ready for release date and they just change the business process 🙄1
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My first Project is finally ready to be deployed on prod server.... Nervous.... How u guys cope with this stress?10
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When the PM decides to test your build for bugs at 3PM on a Friday and it's been ready since 9AM...4
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Take your time with merge conflicts, and put the entire file in another editor in case you really mess up.2
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Just tell me if the API is ready or not. I can understand if it's not. I just don't like being left out and when the boss asks for an update, I'll get burned for not starting anything yet, all because you guys aren't ready
-
Combine multiple open source softwares.
Tweak it a bit
Voila! You've a 100 dollar software ready to be sold.8 -
Just got a Database Fundamentals book, who's hyped to stay up till 5am ready this fucking phone book😛1
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Looking forward to getting my head around cssgrid, browser support looking good, soon be ready for primetime.2
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I'm definately an alpha male.
Give me a couple more revisions and I might be ready to enter closed beta. -
After a solid 23 hours drive from Houston TX to Denver Co, I am officially ready to call quits on driving! However I'm ready to start the new job on Monday!!!!2
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Someone should really close the COVID-19 ticket. Or at least make it ready for technical/PO review.1
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Talking to another coworker today:
me: Have you ever looked at a coworker and realized they are Halloween ready?
coworker: <laughing> Some people are ready all year round!
(side note: I feel like devrant needs a test before people can post here. The paper bag challenge should be enough I think.)1 -
Company now sends everyone to home office.
Expected - "Yeah! No more time spent with bus/subway. I can finally escape from people stopping me when I'm ready to leave."
Reality - "mail received at 8pm and phone ringing 'did you get that file? Need it ready ASAP.'"2 -
"No merge conflicts, ready to commit."
Such sweet words from TortoiseHg, and it's not even valentine's day! -
Just a quick Tip for our jQuery Users: There is a difference between $(document).ready() and $(document).on("ready")! I learnt it the hard way :)4
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Daft Punk in my headphones and I’m ready to gooooo! This makes writing code so much more enjoyable 😬
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So I wanted a newer Linux OS for doing certain things at work. I went for Kubuntu 21.04 as it would have reasonably newer software and had the tools I needed for managing exfat partitions. I installed it on a second drive and everything went smoothly. I booted to the OS and it said it needed to do updates. Okay, lets do that. I started them and walked away.
I came back later and it had finished. I rebooted the machine because I needed to run windows. It came up to a prompt and a grub command line. WTF. I am like oh fuck, it didn't just fuck me out of my windows install. So I rebooted into the BIOS. I looked and it now had switched the drive I installed Linux on as the boot drive. That is weird. So I switched the M.2 drive to boot. It went right into Windows.
Kubuntu 21.04 installed on second drive as intended, switched the boot drive to the second drive, and then fucked itself on first update. And people wonder why non-techies don't run Linux. Its a pile of shit only a masochist would love. Because we are the only ones who can possibly sort out shit like this.
I know its probably a webpage away from fixing, but I needed to work in windows and could not be fucked to fix it. Its a distraction to actually getting my work done. Just disappointed in the entire ecosystem.9 -
Restarting my laptop without installing any updates. softwares or changes and Windows 10 is saying "Getting Windows Ready". Ready for what? Fuck2
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(Spoilers about Ready Player one here)
FUCK YEAH!
I watched Ready Player One in 4DX AND IT COSTED AN UNHOLY FUCKING AMOUNT OF MONEY!
yet it was THE BEST MOVIE Ive ever watched, AND I MEAN IT! IT WAS SO FUCKING GREAT! THE CGI THE ACTORS!
STEVEN DID AN EXCELLENT JOB!
and as a Trekkie I LOVED the scene of Hallidays death I mean his coffin WAS A FUCKING PHOTON TORPEDO! and in the Last scene you could see a bat'leth HOW HOW COOL WAS THAT!
And dont get me started on all the other References like the Holy Handgranade, Rubiks Cube, FUCKING BATMAN HELPING SOMEONE CLIMBING, Minecraft OASIS edition, Halo... I CANT ITS TOO MUCH!1 -
Just found this:
jQuery(document).ready(function($){$(window).load(function(){ /* do stuff here */ }
Nothing else?2 -
promise yourself
you will never ever show your geek knowledge to stupid people's.
or ready to face some stupid hacking questions.3 -
Demo driven development.
Fucking nightmare.
Did a simple search for TODO Statements in the code and almost fucking spilt my coffee.
And the best part, they will demo most of this in Sprint review as done.. WTF.
Done means "Ready to Release" not "Ready to Demo".2 -
After hours of pulling hair & feeling like being f*cked up in the ass:
"Application ready! Build something amazing."2 -
Finally got my stickers! Thanks devRant! Ready to start filling my laptop up with things only developers understand!
7 -
When a designer walks into your office and asks you to turn on a feature that is not ready for production...1
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If VS code plugins were Pokemon cards, which ones would you choose and what level would they be? ... Ready .... Set ... Go2
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Frontend: $ vue init ducksoupdev/vue-webpack-typescript bodywork, setup some linters, formaters and ci and I'm ready to go
Backend: $ cargo new --bin gears, setup some linters, formaters and ci and I'm ready to go -
My first writeup on medium.
hope it helps you to build npm ready angular library components
“How to built npm ready component library with Angular” https://medium.com/@mohanramphp/...
Please give claps for visibility1 -
Currently in a boot camp. Just finished with python/flask/django...during the html/css part of the camp I literally had "attack of the divs" nightmares.
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Finally, after a long time and excuses....
updated my profile on job portals...
Ready to study ..... Best is waiting.... -
So the product has been labeled "ready for launch" for months, but the client has apparently been procrastinating and weren't ready.
Finally, earlier this week, they claimed they were set for launch, and that I should prepare the final bits.
And now they demand additional functionality which requires refactoring code.
Sigh. Why, oh why?1 -
The only reason the barbaric, Apache server requiring, disgusting non-intuitive syntax having, pain in the dick to set up language known as "php" is even still around AT ALL is because of laravel...just let it die already...
P.s. - work is making me learn laravel/php15 -
About to get dicked on by finals tomorrow. I am 100 percent not ready for this. Thinking about bribing the teachers...1
-
CoffeeReadyCallback() {
DrinkCoffee();
}
DrinkCoffee() {
QALife();
}
QALife() {
Throw TableFlip
//wait for more coffee to be ready
} -
We’re back and almost ready for the games. Halloween is gonna be so much fun.
www.holidayineaston.com
Should be ready for action tomorrow. Let the battles begin.1 -
Not quite sure I followed the logic of the tech lead when he explained. I've never felt this "idk wtf in coding" feeling before.
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Working along side another consultant house for a client, we have our shit ready weeks ago for integration testing (as was the deadline) against the other guys. We tell them we are ready, but we need them to be ready too, there are some tricky format things and we basically let them spec it out since they integrate further down the line.
They come _NOW_ way over deadline with change requests in message formats, like MOTHERFUCKER, IM ON MY WEEKEND NOW. We KNEW the client wanted it ready next week, thats why we were ready in time. You are not gonna cost me my weekend.
(is what i wanted to say, the devs on the other team are super nice and just absolutely overloaded with work which i cannot help them with)
One thing is certain, tonight my internet access mysteriously dissappears and wont open until monday morning. Such a shame -
Dont be that guy, ok. Just clean up your shit and don't let shit go through you.
I will git blame you. I will judge you.
#leaveitbetterthanyoufoundit
2 -
Brush up on languages/technologies the company is using/what the job post is for. Say what u like/dislike about those technologies. Most importantly, know that even though you will have many bad days, it only takes 1 good day for none of those to matter!!
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Shit microshiote annonce ModernOS ... ready for shit version of windows ? Because one of 2 windows is shit !5
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need units to test new release built, says they'll be ready by Thursday afternoon. it's Friday they'll be ready Monday. yeah cause it's not like we have a deadline or anything.
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Get ready for Xmas, where online store marketing departments come up with the most meaningful slogans in the whole year. NOT!
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