Uncle: "It must be noisy, programming. I've seen a datacenter on TV, and those computers are loud" — "It is noisy, but that's more my coworkers fault"

Sales guy at the office: "So you see patterns in the code, you can read this cryptic mess?" — "Uh this is PHP, Its not the syntax that makes it hard to read, it's the dimwit who wrote it"

Father-in-law: "Could you reprogram my laptop, I got a virus trying to download por... nature documentaries" — "I'm not that kind of doctor"

Mother-in-law: "How will you sustain a family, you just play video games all day" — "I make your monthly teachers salary in four days"

Girlfriend: "I learned some Lua today because I needed a world of warcraft extension for..." — "I love you too"

tl;dr don't, just don't.

A curious little me (12-14 years) just stated using the family shared computer.
And he thought: It's so slow! Maybe I can make it faster, my parents would be happy!

So he looked at this little switch on the back and he switched it from 230 to 115.

Not knowing what he did, he turned the PC on... for the last time.

Smoke, a nasty smell and a loud bang were the last memories left behind.

The parents were not happy.

Step 1. Get a large touchscreen monitor. Connect it.

Step 2. Modify the driver so touches don't actually cause clicks or anything.

Step 3. Let it play a sudden, loud BEEP instead. Increase the volume for each subsequent touch.

Step 4. Lean back and watch people learn that you don't like your screen being touched.

4 years ago I was placed on probation for not having the special format in source control check in comments. When I asked, the 'special format' was
clearly documented on page 18, sub-section 4, sub-paragraph 2, "All check in comments will include the solution name, separated by a colon,
and why the code was changed." My check-in comment was only missing the colon. Indecently, over 80% of the other comments consisted of 'adsf',
'bug fix', and several 'BOOM!'s. So I mistakenly said out loud 'This check-in policy appears only to exist to allow management to cherry pick
developers they do not like, find something wrong, and put them on probation.' That comment got on a 30-day ‘corrective action plan’ for openly disagreeing with a
company policy. Today, all those managers were either fired or quit and now I set policy. Dear Mr. ex-Bosses, I won.

And so I was wondering why is my cpu fan so loud...

Fuck open office spaces.

A few months ago I landed a super sweet job as a senior full stack developer, mainly going to work with their Python microarchitecture. The company pays well, has a sweet balance between freedom and responsibility, 30 days vacation etc.

During the recruiting process they walked me around the office that was super cozy with 14 devs in on large room and 10 people from marketing in another. They also mentioned that they would move and merge office with operations and customer service (around 100 more people) in a few months.

Life was good in the old office, I thought that this is the company where I will work for a looooong time.

Now we are in the new office and its fucking shit. No walls or FUCKING CEILINGS between departments. Right above my head there is balcony with customer service talking loud as fuck 24/7. Everyone that is not a developer is just so fucking loud.

I have to use earplugs AND earmuffs to get silence, or blast my ears with way to loud music. Every day around lunch I'm completely done mentally.

I know I'm extra sensitive to noise because of my ADHD, but seriously who the fuck thought this was a good idea?

All the devs have told our boss what needs to be done. If they listen i don't know. In the meantime I will start looking for a new job....

Person at work, staring at my keyboard: How much was it?
Me: The keyboard? Oh it's a cheap one for around $30.
Person: Huh... I'll never get you rich boys and your fads.

Well, I don't fucking judge you for your $600 phone, or your $80 shoes or shirts, you cuntwaffle. Fuckin' asshole has the face of a horse's left testicle, is always on his phone, which is arguably fine since he's not a dev but still fuck him, and has the gall to call me bringing my mechanical keyboard to work a 'rich fad'. Oh, that's rich coming from you. Ever seen your ugly mug in your undeserved branded clothing, you unloved, shit-gobbling piece of shit?

"You type so loud." And you breathe too loud but I don't tell you to stop but maybe I ought to.

Go suck on your daddy-uncle's chode for a couple more bucks and stop hanging around me, you judgemental cum-snorting piece of shit.

P.s. it's a cheap keyboard with blue switches but the office is normally noisy and busy enough that no one gives a shit about it. Planning on buying an Anne Pro sometime next month.

Rekked/insulted a client so hard today in a way which was obvious for me/colleagues but not for the client that the colleague sitting next to me completely fucking lost it. (client did not detect/notice it)

That's entirely fine as he was not too loud but his laughter is so fucking contagious that he went outside to make sure that I wouldn't catch it any worse while on the phone.

God damn it took some serious self control to not completely lose my shit xD (it only partly worked 😅)

I was sleeping.....

May dad was feeding our newly furnished outer walls of our house with water....

I was unaware of what he was doing...

I dont know what exactly he was supposed to do....

But when I opened my eyes....

I saw a stream of water straight way coming from the window entering my cpu which was placed on a table exactly at the window....

I shouted out as loud as possible....

I was so lucky I previous night I turned it off shut off the switches cuz there was nothing to download....

I deassembled whole cpu kept it for 3 days to dry....

And bam it worked like a charm....

Saved my entire life....

If your IDE found

10 errors

and 47 warns

would you correct them

or let them slip.

YO ...

His palms are sweaty

Knees weak, arms are heavy

The tests are failing already

Code spaghetti.

He's nervous,

But at his laptop he looks calm and ready
To squash bugs

But he keeps on forgetting

What he wrote down, the whole team goes so loud

He opens his file, but the code won't come out

He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now

The deadline run out, times up, over, blaow!

Snap back to reality, oh there goes file integrity

Oh, there goes documentation, he choked

He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No

He won't have it, he knows his whole header's code

It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, but he's broke

He's so stacked that he knows, when he goes back to his mobile home, that's when its

Back to the office again yo, this whole rhapsody

He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

Note: All credits to the original owners of these phrases.

!rant but a story

This happened today. Sorry for long post. A manager from another team in development team, I'll call him junkfellow, called me very very late last night to help them solve an issue in our application's test environment that blocking them from doing testing. They apparently doing integration testing with our application. Now said test environment is not even prepared by our team. We are development team and this test environment prepared by our application's support team. So I politely told junkfellow to get in touch with our support team counterpart as I am from development team. And he began shout at me

junkfellow: "WHY DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING CALL YOU? IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING REACH ANYONE FROM SUPPORT!"
me: "With due respects sir I have no instructions to assist you and your team in your testing"
junkfellow: "THEN WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? IF YOU DON"T GET ONLINE NOW I WILL FUCKING ESCALATE YOU TO CW!!!"

We all know who CW is and he can make some people life very hard and I didn't want to call my boss so late so I quickly went online and spent the next 4hrs supporting their testing. Next morning I told my boss what happened and he scolded me for not calling him last night. He dropped an email to junkfellow's boss about junkfellow being "unacceptable attitude, disrespectful and threatening to escalate my team mates". My boss always refer to us as team mates, not his staff or his team member.

Then in few minutes, someone walking like a school bully with his chest out came to my boss place and announced himself (he is junkfellow). I say announce because he talking like he wanted everyone to know who is he. My boss stood up promptly, greeted good morning, introduce himself, shook junkfellow hand and sat down. Still young, maybe in late 20's or even younger than me. junkfellow talking to my boss loud enough for most of us to hear. Everyone's neck suddenly long like meerkat and listening:

junkfellow looking down to my boss who is sitting down: "How dare you send email like that to my boss? We are both managers you should act like one, you have a problem with me then you talk to me. You don't bypass me and go directly to my boss. You didn't even give me face!"
my boss sitting down: "So you didn't even ask your boss before picking a fight."

*junkfellow suddenly look confused*

my boss still sitting down talking calm with poker face: "I did give you face. You think by going to your boss I bypassed you and went one level up? No I went one level down!"

junkfellow still look confused and then slowly realized what my boss meant. Now he is staring at floor and can't look my boss in eye after he realized he is screwed!

my boss now standing up: "You treat my team mates like that againi or ask them to do something without my knowledge and I will talk to your boss' boss about it"
boss to me: "Hey tollywood! junkfellow here sincerely regrets what he did last night and wants to apologize to you in person" and boss' poker face turned to his familiar smirk

junkfellow immediately came to me, said "it's ok you no need to stand up", he sat down in a squat and apologized repeatedly. He really looked like he was about to cry and for a moment I pity him. But then I remember what he did and I just enjoyed the moment! Was pure gold :D :D :D

Trying to concentrate. Co-worker from another room standing there, BLA BLA BLA, and she's fucking LOUD. But she hates coldness, and it's below 0 °C outside.

So I open two windows, and guess who instantly leaves! Now it's cold, but SILENT. HAR HAR!

There is a group of ladies who work in the accounting department at my job who have made it their mission to decorate the cubicle of whoever has a birthday on a given day. They come in at 6 am on someones birthday and decorate, leaving a mess of balloons and streamers, which is a nice surprise the first time it happens (they do it every year). Well, we in the IT office decided it would be fun to booby trap one of our cubicles so that when our birthday rolled in, they would receive a surprise of their own. So we set up a webcam as a motion detector, and had the computer speakers turned up as loud as possible, so that when motion was detected, the honorable Admiral Akbar would yell "It's A Trap!". We succeeded in scaring the pants off of them, and also annoying them because the sound did not stop until the program was exited, so they had to listen to it the entire time they did their setup. It was priceless xD

Worst disturbance while working?

Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.

Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."

Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.

---- Startup RantLife ----

A senior developer joined the team, let's name him Bob, and this guy is really good no doubts about that.
He made suggestions, some improvements, but Bob is always waving his hands and says out loud that some part of the code base is really really bad.
I kept quiet until one day I had to pair with Bob to check a feature. Guess what happened, as usual, Bob clenched his fist and start pointing that this code is super ugly.
So let's check the history of changes and boom, Bob was the main writer.
That moment, I was completely silent, trying not to smile as Bob came up with an excuse, he never admits that he is wrong, now he needs a scapegoat and he starts blaming the process, the planning...
I believe that being humble and saying sorry is a quality that it requires time to develop.
So don't be like Bob, please :)

My team handles infrastructure deployment and automation in the cloud for our company, so we don't exactly develop applications ourselves, but we're responsible for building deployment pipelines, provisioning cloud resources, automating their deployments, etc.

I've ranted about this before, but it fits the weekly rant so I'll do it again.

Someone deployed an autoscaling application into our production AWS account, but they set the maximum instance count to 300. The account limit was less than that. So, of course, their application gets stuck and starts scaling out infinitely. Two hundred new servers spun up in an hour before hitting the limit and then throwing errors all over the place. They send me a ticket and I login to AWS to investigate. Not only have they broken their own application, but they've also made it impossible to deploy anything else into prod. Every other autoscaling group is now unable to scale out at all. We had to submit an emergency limit increase request to AWS, spent thousands of dollars on those stupidly-large instances, and yelled at the dev team responsible. Two weeks later, THEY INCREASED THE MAX COUNT TO 500 AND IT HAPPENED AGAIN!

And the whole thing happened because a database filled up the hard drive, so it would spin up a new server, whose hard drive would be full already and thus spin up a new server, and so on into infinity.

Thats probably the only WTF moment that resulted in me actually saying "WTF?!" out loud to the person responsible, but I've had others. One dev team had their code logging to a location they couldn't access, so we got daily requests for two weeks to download and email log files to them. Another dev team refused to believe their server was crashing due to their bad code even after we showed them the logs that demonstrated their application had a massive memory leak. Another team arbitrarily decided that they were going to deploy their code at 4 AM on a Saturday and they wanted a member of my team to be available in case something went wrong. We aren't 24/7 support. We aren't even weekend support. Or any support, technically. Another team told us we had one day to do three weeks' worth of work to deploy their application because they had set a hard deadline and then didn't tell us about it until the day before. We gave them a flat "No" for that request.

I could probably keep going, but you get the gist of it.

I'm not angry, mostly sad.

At my workplace we don't use git.
There are constant overwriting, sending code via email or USB stick and forgetting passwords to zip-files shenanigans going on.

I already use git for all my local projects (literally git init in the directory) but my coworker and I thought that it would be a great idea to have a local server with a Gitlab running on it.
So I started looking into running a self-hosted Gitlab (for about 15 minutes) and then our boss who was sitting right next to me almost shouted at us: "Such stuff should be coordinated with the boss! We don't just do something and burn my money because it's _cool_!"

No, git is not cool, it's necessary for crying out loud! Gitlab is cool but at the end of the day also just another tool too.

I guess I have some persuasion to do.

I don't know what version control has done to our boss that he has such a deep dislike for it.

Finally, fucking finally, after twenty fucking trillion tries, a huge ass import is going steady and fast.

I'm literally, out loud, encouraging the import process 😅

"Yesyesyes keeeep it going!"
"You can do this!!"
"You're doing very well!"

I feel like a fucking retard but I'm so happy its finally starting to work 😅

Oh boy...

So my mom just responded to an email saying her email account would be deleted if she didn't respond to it by typing in her email address...

And the password to that email address, her SSN, and her bank account number. Now I have to fix it. For crying out loud...

Ok story of my most most recent job search (not sure devRant could handle the load if I was to go through them all)

First a little backstory on why I needed to search for a new job:

Joined a small startup in the blockchain space. They were funded through grants from a non-profit setup by the folks who invented the blockchain and raised funds (they gave those funds out to companies willing to build the various pieces of the network and tools).

We were one of a handful of companies working on the early stages of the network. We built numerous "first"s on the network and spent the majority of our time finding bugs and issues and asking others to fix them so it would become possible, for us to do what we signed up for. We ended up having to build multiple server side applications as middleware to plug massive gaps. All going great, had a lot of success, were told face to face by the foundation not to worry about securing more funds at least for the near term as we were "critical to the success of the network".

1 month later a bug was discovered in our major product, was nasty and we had to take it offline. Nobody lost any funds.

1-2 months later again, the inventor of the blockchain (His majesty, Lord dickhead of cuntinstein) decided to join the foundation as he wasn't happy with the orgs progress and where the network now stood. Immediately says "see that small startup over there ... yeah I hate them. Blackball them from getting anymore money. Use them as an example to others that we are not afraid to cut funds if you fuck up"

Our CEO was informed. He asked for meetings with numerous people, including His royal highness, lord cockbag of never-wrong. The others told our CEO that they didn't agree with the decision, but their hands were tied and they were deeply sorry. Our CEO's pleas with The ghost of Christmas cuntyness, just fell on deaf ears.

CEO broke the news to us, he had 3 weeks of funds left to pay salaries. He'd pay us to keep things going and do whatever we could to reduce server costs, so we could leave everything up long enough for our users to migrate elsewhere. We reduced costs a lot by turning off non essential features, he gave us our last pay check and some great referrals. That was that and we very emotionally closed up shop.

When news got out, we then had to defend ourselves publicly, because the loch ness moron, decided to twist things in his favour. So yeah, AMAZING experience!

So an unemployed and broken man, I did the unthinkable ... I set my linkedin to "open to work". Fuck me every moronic recruiter in a 10,000 mile radius came after me. Didn't matter if I was qualified, didn't matter if I had no experience in that language or type of system, didn't matter if my bio explicitly said "I don't work with X, Y or Z" ... that only made them want me more.

I think I got somewhere around 20 - 30 messages per week, 1 - 2 being actually relevant to what I do. Applied to dozens of jobs myself, only contacted back by 1, who badly fucked up the job description and I wasn't a fit at all.

Got an email from company ABC, who worked on the same blockchain we got kicked off of. They were looking for people with my skills and the skills of one other dev in the preious company. They heard what happened and our CEO gave us a glowing recommendation. They largely offered us the job, but both of us said that we weren't interested in working anywhere near, that kick needing prick, again. We wanted to go elsewhere.

Went back to searching, finding nothing. The other dev got a contract job elsewhere. The guy from ABC message me again to say look, we understand your issues, you got fucked around. We can do out best to promise you'll never have to speak to, the abominable jizz stain, again. We'll also offer you a much bigger role, and a decent salary bump on top of that.

Told them i'd think about it. We ended up having a few more calls where they showed me designs of all the things they wanted to do, and plans on how they would raise money if the same thing was to ever happen to them. Eventually I gave in and signed up.

So far it was absolutely the right call. Haven't had to speak to the scrotum at all. The company is run entirely by engineers. Theres no 14 meetings per week to discuss "where we are" which just involves reading our planning tool tickets, out loud. I'm currently being left alone 99% of the week to get work done. and i'm largely in-charge of everything mobile. It was a fucking hellhole of a trip, but I came out the other side better off

I'm sure there is a thought provoking, meaningful quote I could be writing now about how "things always work out" or that crap. But remembering it all just leaves me with the desire to find him and shove a cactus where the sun don't shine

.... happy job hunting everyone!

Root rents an office.

Among very few other things, the company I'm renting an office from (Regus) provides wifi, but it isn't even bloody secured. There's a captive portal with a lovely (not.) privacy policy saying they're free to monitor your traffic, but they didn't even bother using WEP, which ofc means everyone else out to the fucking parking lot four floors down can monitor my traffic, too.

Good thing I don't work for a company that handles sensitive data! /s But at least I don't have access to it, or any creds that matter.

So, I've been running my phone's connection through a tor vpn and sharing that with my lappy. It works, provides a little bit of security, but it's slow as crap. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, REGUS.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM FFS.

Ugh. $12/day to work in a freaking wind tunnel (thanks, a/c; you're loud as fuck and barely work), hear other people's phone conversations through two freaking walls, pee in a bathroom that perpetually smells like diarrhea, and allow anyone and everyone within a 50+ meter radius to listen to everything my computer says.

Oh, they also 'forgot' to furnish my office, like they promised. Three freaking times. At least I have a table and chair. 🙄

Desk? What desk?
Fucking hell.

Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.

Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").

So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:

"Should groceries really do that?"

He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.

I had the dream of working as web designer in Berlin.
You know: techno partys, hedonistic lifestyle and cheap living.
I applied and flew over and got some Interviews.

Arrived at the agency situated in a beautiful broad avenue in a villa at the Olympia Stadion. I was greeted by 2 loud small dogs and nobody else was there. So i waited an half an hour.. and another one...
I notice their company code of conduct nicely framed on the wall. You know what is written on the first place?

"We value peoples time therefore we're punctual."
"We are cosequent"

So after two hours waiting they came. They were pretty stressed out and neded another 45 minutes to get ready to interview me. So they sat at the table telling me excuses. And i pointed at the frame and they suddenly got very bleak in their faces. I stood up and left after 3 hours of waiting. 😆

Sadly no Berlin for me.

Tl;dr: owning and pranking other people with a wireless mouse is hacking and illegal.

Okay, so I wanted to fuck around with some people one day so I decide to bring a usb wireless mouse to my secondary school.

My first target was my science teacher (was a bitch). I got into class before everyone else and plugged in the small usb receiver then sat down and pretended as if nothing had happened. The lesson starts and here is where the fun begins. Her screen is projected onto a whiteboard so I could see what she was doing. Under the table I had my mouse and every time she tried clicking a dialogue, I would move the mouse ever so slightly so she would miss. After a couple of times, she started to get suspicious, maybe even slightly paranoid; my friend keked. I never got found out by that teacher.

Fast forward to next lesson: I already planted the receiver in my next victims pc. The victim was a bitch I hated so much at the time. She would used to bully me to an extent and was a loud noisy bitch. I really didn't like the person. I digress. When the time was right, I went to her folder, highlighted all her files, right click, hover over delete. But I wasn't so shallow to delete her stuff. That's not the person I am. I guess it was more of a threat really. But the teacher saw what was going on and she saw my wireless mouse and connected 2 and 2 together. She called the behaviour people, removed the reciever and the mouse from me.

Within a few minutes, I was in a room on my own talking to this woman talking about how hacking is bad/illegal and she knows I'm into it etc. But I wasn't hacking? I did no damage and was pulling a prank. Bitch didn't listen to me. She made me sign this document which said that if I fuck around with computers, I could be expelled and I won't be allowed to use to computers again or use them with many restrictions.

I didn't really care. To this day, I still don't have my mouse back. :(

In my company we have a weekly meeting for the Tech deparment, so today the IT Director (my direct manager) was describing an issue we are experiencing with our DNS, and he asked

"What we should do with our DNS?"

Instantly I said out loud:

"Resolve them"

Office prank time! It was some years ago when the horror movie "The Grudge" came out, with that creepy Japanese dead girl who made that horrible "aaahhhhhh" sound. A coworker, who was just as shocked by the movie as I was, would occasionally send me emails with sceenshots from that movie.

One day, I upped it. I knew he was the first in the office in the morning, so I arrived even before him. It was still dark. I put a walkie-talkie under his desk, set it to "no beep", switched off the lights again and hid two rooms away.

Sure enough, he arrived. I waited for about 10 minutes to be sure he was sitting at his desk. Then I used my walkie-talkie and "aahhhhh".

WOAH, his scream was loud even two rooms away!

The time when I've felt like a badass, was when I was bored at a Birthday party at restaurant.

I didn't want to use my mobile data, so I tried to use the wifi of the restaurant. I didn't want to ask the password of the wifi, so I tried to get access by guessing. At first try I got it by entering "nameOfRestaurantCurrentYear".

Then I was browsing Play Store and there was a recommendation of an app (forgot the name) that analyses which the device is connected to wifi. So that got me interested that I installed on my phone.

So I played a little with and discover several Samsungs and iPhones connected to it (Some of the them had their real name next to the brand. It would be funny to yell their name out loud and they would be looking around.)
But there was one device that I didn't recognized. I searched on the web but found nothing. So later as I go to pay my part, I noticed that the credit card device had a wifi icon on it. So I looked over to the cash register and saw the name of the brand. It was the brand I didn't know of.

So basically they were using transfer payments over a public wifi.

Let's see here, we have:
🤡 Creepy Cackle Guy: watches videos all day and cackles like a hyena, plus constantly farts, and complains a lot. He gets everyone gassed up, no pun intended.

😤Bitchy PM: argues with you about every little thing, lies to pad her metrics while screwing the dev's metrics over. Also lies about what clients say to force launch or what she feels client should do. Rude to clients & co-workers. Runs and tattles to higher ups when people call her out on her shit. Nobody can stand her, she get's the entire office upset.

🙉Darth Vader: I don't think this one needs explaining. He breathes SO freaking loud you can hear it across the room. He also won't talk to anybody. Ever.

🤐The Non-Stop Flapper: nice person, but chats you non stop about their mundane life events, even when your status is set to busy or they know you're swamped. Asks irrelevant questions all day, every day. Heart of gold but needs to reel in the chatting.

🤬 Mr.Rage: whines about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Has also thrown his food on me once over a joke about pizza. Wants to move up to programming but cant program.
---
So between them all, I scream on the inside daily. 🙊😫😢

Things you can enjoy when working in an office with other people:

- listening to everyone chew gum with their mouths open.
- being constantly interrupted by coworkers asking for help, even when wearing headphones.
- getting distracted by someone bursting out in laughter of some private joke.
- having to take a break when everyone else does, because everyone is so loud you just can't focus.
- being hit on the back of the neck by a nerf gun bullet, right when you're most focused.

Why would anyone ever want to work at home?

“Competitive pay”

Translation: We are so embarrassed about how fucking little we are offering we can’t even bare to say it out loud. Maybe after 7 rounds of interviews when we feel a little more like friends we’ll be willing to let you know but only if you promise not to tell anyone.

—-

I’ve noticed literally every company with *actually* competitive pay will tell you RIGHT OFF THE BAT what that range is because they are PROUD OF IT.

Anyone who doesn’t? Well you fill in the blanks.

My second year of high-school, we started having class in computer science. I was really looking forward to it cause I always wanted to learn programming.

On first sight it appeared that the professor which taught the class knew something, he looked like a genuine geek with those dorky glasses, briefcase and pants like Steve Urkel, but after couple of his lessons you could see he had no real dev experience and just basic understanding of programming in theory. He was more reading stuff from the book than he was trying to explain them to students and give some real world examples.

So it was just one these days, everybody got back from vacation, it's hot outside, the guy is just reading sentences from his book, half of students talk with each other and other half doesn't give a fuck about him or his class. Pretty sure I was the only one trying to listen to him and learn something from his recitals.

All of a sudden he notices the atmosphere in the classroom, slams the book shut, gives out couple of F-s to the loudest students and yells out loud "NONE OF YOU IN THIS ROOM WILL EVER ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE, BARE ALONE IN PROGRAMMING"

At first I felt like shit, but soon after that I started thinking "who the hell are you to tell me what I could or will accomplish in my life". Couple weeks later I've bought myself a first book in programming and started learning C++ late at night since I understood that I won't learn anything about programming in that school. Two years later I was correcting this same professor with his claims on a whiteboard in front of a whole class.

Today, seven years after his words I'm a developer living in foreign country with what I could say somewhat a solid experience and understanding of how both software and web are build, while that same professor still recites to his pupils difference between assembly and object code, while praying nobody asks him where and how these are used. For maybe a quarter of my paycheck. So much about his psychic powers..

I go to techno hardcore parties. The volume is so loud that usually nobody speaks to you, but you can take pictures in a very crowded environment, so when you put them on Facebook people think you are a social person, while in the reality you talk more with your computer than with humans. :D

Thank fuck I was so early at work today.

As I did walk past the server room I heard something really loud behind the door. I was still in zombie mode (It was way too early, usually I´m here 2 hours later...), so just stood there looking at the door for a while.
Needed about 3 to 4 slow thoughts to decide what the fuck is happening.

My last thought was just: Man why is it so loud here. That´s the server room. Oh fuck!

The second I opened the door this rancid burning hot air straight out of satans anus almost melted my face off.
The servers were trying to maintain their cooling by almost puking out their guts with the those poor little fans they have.

Turns out one of the air conditioners failed and the backup didn´t start. So I started it manually.

Where the fuck is the admin? That´s not my fucking job!
What the fuck am I doing here so early?

So our company's internet was down. Network admin was really pissed as there is suppose to be a notification from the ISP about down time. Network admin called the ISP customer services to inquire about the problem and they said "Sir, we wanted to email you but our network was down too."
Admin turned from being really angry to laughing out loud real quick...

When your boss shouts "good job" so loud that your whole team bitches about you

!dev && feelsbadman

I don't know what to think.
All I know is that I just went reaaaaal close to a disaster.

Friday morning, my "scariest" manager (as in, if you have to meet with him, it's usally for something serious) told me that he needed to see me on monday (so today) with the lead dev, the project manager and the dude who recruited me.

The meeting was like an arena of 4 vs 1, where they all 4 had problem with the work I do, as in I make a lot of small but stupid mistakes that wastes everyone's time. As an excuse, I suffer from sleep apnea so I wake up as tired I am when I go to sleep, and I snore loud as fuck. I've heard some records, it's not even human. (I'm 1m85-ish for 125 kg, it's BIG but with my morphology it's not like I'm a ball of fat)

Anyway. And since it's not the first time they're reproaching me this kind of stuff, they were all... really angry. Because I'm a nice guy, competent and all but not productive enough and easily distracted.

So, when the manager asked me to meet me, it was to fire me. However, during the lunch break, the lead dev found a solution: I get out of the current project I was in until this morning, and I write all the functional tests for all the projects, because they all lack quality and we sometimes deliver regresses.

They proposed me this in a way I could refuse, and I'd get fired because they had no other options. Obviously, I said yes, I'm not stupid enough to decline a possibilty to avoid a monstruous shitstorm that would have cut me my studies, the money for taxes, and a lot of fun to find a job as fast as possible.

But what surprised me the most is that they were genuinely glad I accepted, like, even though I made my shit ton of mistakes, they weren't pleased at all to get rid of me.

And in a way, I'm the one who won in this story, since I don't have to work with Drupal anymore, excepted to parse the website to write my tests, but my nightmare fuel is finally gone *.*

I don't know where to finish with this rant, but I needed to vent this whole thing, to write it somewhere so I can move forward.

I wish y'all a nice week.

Do something brainless.

Like taking a shit.
Showering.
Hear music loud and dance.
Talk to people but don't listen.
Surf in the internet.
Masturbation.
Sport.
Take a walk.
Watch TV.
Cook.
And so on and so on.

Most of them are doable for hobby projects at home. Some are also suitable for work. Choose appropriately.

But if I am stuck, then continueing to try solve the problem most often keeps me stuck. So doing something else is my solution. So far it worked well.

Me: *click click click click*

Girlfriend: Do you have to be so loud when you're typing?!

Me: probably not *CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK*

//Gonna see how far this goes... Buying a mechanical keyboard on my break :D

So this morning I went to go brush my teeth while half awake. It wasn't until I almost put the brush in my mouth when I felt something moving on my hand, then I saw that the entire head of my brush was swarming with ants. I immediately dropped the brush and almost yelled out loud.

But this was nothing compared to the amount of bugs I saw when I opened my Visual Studio.

The keycap of the control key of my keyboard just popped of and fell under the table.
My colleague then said while I was looking for it: I think you've lost control!
And we both laughed way to hard and so loud that our boss came over to ask why we where laughing. xD
it's not even that funny but we couldn't pull ourselfs together xD

"I am a fucking idiot"

These words ring loud when I'm stuck on a bug and the fix is so simple that I can't help but hate myself lol 😅

I just had my worst hackathon so far and need to puke my whole toxic hatred, the rant will be full of hate so be warned. (I just don't want to let it go on my girlfriend, but I need to shout it out loud somewhere)

First of all, it is alright to be a beginner at a hackathon. It is also alright to not know that much about coding and want to learn. But it is not alright to lie about your skill, pretend to be a senior programmer and waste my fucking time.

Don't even fucking dare to say your are "fit" in Android development if you just have done some foobar tutorial on YouTube, don't even bother to read the document and have literally non existent knowledge about computer science.

Why the fucking hell do you need to pretend to be a seasoned programmer if you are just a bloody beginner? I mean you are in a hackathon full of computer nerds so soon or later your impostor ass will be debunked so what is the point?

And the other guy. Why the fucking hell did.'t you say that you just begin Python for 3 months? You are not a fucking developer if you just started coding for 3 fucking months. Learn some fucking coding before starting with machine learning you fucking punk ass bitch script kiddie.

Alright, maybe I was too naive to not check my teammates' background before make a team with them. Fuck me and my fucking stupid ass. My dumb ass monkey brain fell for big mouths, I deserved the headache right now and none less.

Lesson learned!

Atother story about PC hardware and being... Not so careful.

A friend complained about his PSU fan being too loud. I said "well, maybe bearings are dying already".
The next day he messaged me and asked to suggest a new PSU. Ok, I threw him some links.
Leter, he told me what happened:
He decided to clean the PSU, because he thought the noise could be because of dust. So he turned off his PC and removed PSU cover with a screwdriver. While doing this, he accidentally hit the circuit board itself. Then "Puff", black smoke and smell of sth burning. Turned out he didn't switched the PSU off. Luckily, the screwdriver handle was rubberized. I'm glad he is alive ._.

Best co-worker quitting story?

"T" I've refereed to in previous rants knew he was close to being fired, so he jumped ship. 'T' sent the usual "I'll miss you guys" email to the department, except me (and a few others that didn't fall for his BS and not scared of him). His mistake was he sent the email out a day early (buddy forwarded me the email) and left the stuff (box of pics, books, etc) he planned on taking with him. One item in particular was a new company provided laptop bag, which technically wasn't his to keep (supposed to leave/turn-in any company provided equipment), so I grabbed the bag and hid it.

The next day I heard him slamming drawers (looking for the bag) and a loud cursing. Other devs peeking over the walls asking what's wrong.

Dev1: "Dude, what's up? Whatcha' looking for?"
T: "Nothing...fuck!...damn it...nothing...assholes...fucking assholes!"
Dev2: "Who's the ass? What's wrong?"
Dev3: "Need help looking for something?"
T: "No..no...nothing...I'm fine...making sure I don't forget anything."

'T' never found out who took the bag and I've had that laptop bag underneath my desk ever since.

Maybe this is my retribution for participating in yesterday's rant about public transportation.

Saturday morning, I had an 🥚and 🍌. I was happy.
I went out to meet with my GF.
I got a window seat on bus.
The seat on my left was empty for few stops.
A mudafucka big kid came and sit beside me.
I was like, cool, heyyo kid. Not some greasy old dudes or ready to slap chicks.
Oh boy can I be wronger?
The mudafucka big kid started with right butt scratch using right hand.
Then followed up by left butt scratch with left hand.
And then did a wiggly body scratching using his seat like an alien snake.
I got itchy looking at him.
Also I said big two times because he spread his big thighs so wide it took 1/3 of my seat.
And now playing loud ass games on his phone.

Not a good sign for my Saturday.

I am DONE with this woman.

Background: we're a team of 3 developers and I'm the junior in this team and I've been in this shit for a year now. 2 months ago the team leader left for another project and I had to stand in for him in every responsibility against the PM and other teams.

Now I not only had to endure this insecure woman but I was also supposed to work with her! Fast-forward to today, the team leader is back and I thought I could put my headphones on and work peacefully at last.

But no!

I've found out she's sent a faulty code to production - no big deal - and said that over chat (although she's sitting right behind me):

Me: We need to fix this.
Her: What?

Me: *giving some details about the issue*
Her: Your attitude is important when you ask me to do something. Whenever you're writing to me you're typing on your keyboard like you're going to break it on my head.

*me not knowing what to say at this point because we had something stupid like this before*

Me: So you're offended by the sound my keyboard makes? (I have mx brown switches by the way and they're not even loud)
Her: No you're typing too fast when you're writing to me. The sound echoes in the office.
...

Can you fucking believe this shit? I hate people that think they can educate me but have no idea how to rationally respond to situations and take responsibility! I didn't even say anything!

And she's been saying to me she hadn't had a problem with any other people for gazillion years who knows how long and why would she cause a problem now! And thinks I am the problem, fuck YOU!

Since you don't like receiving orders why hadn't you taken the place when the fucking guy went for another project but I had to take all the responsibility? I know why you fucking entitled bitch.

Because you HAD NO IDEA AND YOU STILL DON'T.

So shut the fuck up and do as I say.

Kind regards

Rant #1:
Why everyone and their toy cars gotta be jumping on the bed when I’m trying to sleep?

Rant #2:
For months now, I get bleary eyed and tired every time I look at work. Focusing and being productive is almost impossible. I’m cheery and alert, then sit down, open my editor, and find I can’t focus. Moments later I feel like I need a nap.

Rant #3:
I get interrupted an average of every 3-5 minutes, basically every day, all day long. The more this happens, the more tired and angry I become. I often have to resort to yelling, throwing toys that appear on my desk/keyboard, and blasting loud music I don’t want to hear through noise canceling headphones.

—————

Is it any wonder I can’t focus or think or do anything but feel like I’m falling asleep? Is it any wonder I’m perpetually angry and frustrated?

I can sort of fix the interruptions by locking myself away in my monster’s room. But I’m still so tired and bleary and can’t focus. I don’t know what to do, or even what I can do. Vacation didn’t help. Another would doubtlessly be just as effective, and certainly wouldn’t improve my boss’s view of my performance.

Ugh.

Let me repeat this out and loud so that we are clear before another idiot starts pitching to me on building their "world class machine learning algorithm":
NO DATA, NO MACHINE LEARNING!

Not really hacking, but my roommate says otherwise. So we share a router in the apartment and I’m the only one that really knows how to access it, so of course I change the password and tell no one (not like they’ll try to get in anyway).
Occasionally set roommate likes to get blackout and play music very loud at 2am. To be petty, on those occasions I set up an RPi Zero to connect to the WiFi, restart it, and sleep for a minute, and repeat. He’s still convinced we are getting DDOSd, and suspects nothing.

Reason I don’t just set parental controls - he gets more frustrated when the WiFi appears for 10secs, the music is just about to start and shuts off again. So he gives up quicker. Otherwise, he resets the router and I have to set up everything from the start.

When you're sitting in front of a problem the whole day and cannot put your finger on a solution. Stay 45m longer than necessary, implement and push - yet something tickles your brain - something's just not ... right ... although it works .. but

Get out, walk to the subway, wait for your train - and immediately see the solution as clear as day. Hammer perfect Pseudocode in your phone, get strange looks as you laugh out loud - it was soooo easy and right there in front of you the whole time.You even have already used the exact same function today.
So happy, now you can sleep without a brain-tickle

I had a dream that I was installing some sort of package and the PM warned that it was a known malicious package and I was like "This must be a mistake, no it isn't" so I installed it anyways and then an ASCII-Art Michael Jackson started dancing on my screen to loud music and I shut down the computer and woke up and panicked because I didn't have any backups

!dev but actual long rant - about the students in my grade.

TL;DR: 1 asshole in 10 people can ruin everything. Mobbing sucks. I dislike parties.

There's the word "Jahrgang" in Germany which means the people in the same school year as you. I'll refer to it as "my (collective) classmates" although we don't have classes anymore, rather courses and I also mean those I do not have courses with.

With that out of the way, let the rant begin.

It's often the case that people with high logical and intellectual skills (no being arrogant, other people categorize me like that) have a lack of social skills - or empathy.

I'm a kind of an outsider in a way that since 10th grade I stopped trying to attach myself to certain groups since I do not fit in there. I'm fine with that now. Nowadays I can at least socialize with other nerds.

Here's why I dislike the collective of my classmates. This year is my last school year and as always, a big group forms a spirit. They have a theme (superheroes - super boring). I didn't go to any party they threw and I don't plan to go to the graduation ceremony as well since it's an unofficial party and not a school event. I hate parties. I hate alc and drunken teenagers. I didn't attend the "Kursfahrt" - a kind of excursion that's like holidays with your course - mainly because I dislike my "Stammkurs" (main course).

Why? I had a friend in this course. She was short, geeky and I could actually talk to her. Yet some jerks (not intensely) bullied her because "she was awkward" and in the end, she switched school - also because of other reasons.
When she was gone, even those who didn't bully her and who are considered "nice" made fun of her and talked badly about her - and me hanging around with her. So since then, I avoid anything with them that's not 100% school related.

Now they're planning what we call "Abigag" - it's a joke/prank the graduates pull on the school and younger students, something funny like an entrance room full of balloons and many other things. Also, the "Abizeitung", the yearbook the graduates put out with articles about their courses, teacher ranking and quotes etc. Also, a cabaret evening from the graduates to collect money for the graduation party. Cool stuff actually. I thought about taking part.

I'd say my talents are creativity and computer stuff. So a friend chatted with me about nerdy pranks like a school-wide wallpaper change. Or releasing a fake password list of the teachers - claiming we hacked them - with puns and insiders about the teaches. He said he gotta invite me into the WhatsApp group of the Abi prank. Disclaimer: He's one of those people who are socialized but still able to talk with me. He's fine.

Well guess what he told me later:

They don't want me on the team since I distance myself from my classmates. I should either be fully one of them or not at all.

That's enough. Who distances whom? I thought they were happy to have me on board but horse shit! Stuck with ideologies from the 19th century.
They can lick my ***. I don't have anything against most of them in person but as a collective, they're just fucking stupid. I guess it wasn't even the majority saying they don't want me to help. It was probably just the small crew of leading and loud jerks. And no one would disagree with them saying "Why not? He wants to help?" (even if it was their opinion) - they don't have the brain or balls to say anything against the strong idiot leaders. They'll do great later in politics as an adult - they wouldn't criticize Hitler if they were under his "protection".

So I won't take part in making Abi pranks, - but also not the Paper and cabaret eve. They can go jerk off to being part of a huge collection of assholes - which I, in all my pride, am not part of other than on paper.

(Disclaimer: No critics to other outsiders but those who were engaged and responsible for the choice of not letting me help)

If anyone actually read this:
Who were/are you in school times?
A proud outsider like me? Party boi/girl? Engaged striver?

So my friends PC died, since he lives in another country I help him over Signal.

He assembled his own PC a year ago and does a lot of programming for his study. Today Im helping him troubleshoot why his pc does not boot. Does it get into the bootmenu or not? He knows it doesnt. Then I recommend him to try unplugging his graphics card and plug his monitor in the motherboard. I then get a question if there are two HDMI types. Im smiling and think he is messing with me. That must be a displayport. Nope he was serious, he has this HDMI cable that doesnt fit his motherboard.

I sat in a tram and laugh out loud.. Because this is what he send me.
If it was anyone who didnt do anything with computers I didnt think it was laughable, but come on every programmer should know the difference between HDMI and DisplayPort

God, I don't know whether I believe in you or not, but please kill all those people who play loud music in public.

So, I was travelling by a train two days ago. Halfway down the 15 hr journey, the guy next to me took out his laptop and started watching a movie, on speakers, in full volume. It naturally irritated me a lot, and I requested him to use head/earphones, to which he replied that he forgot his one back home. I told him to keep the volume down to which he got personal and put the volume down (maybe to 95%). Since I hate human interaction, I had to plug in my own earphones to keep his bitchy noise away.

The same thing happened today on the bus, the only two differences being:
• mobile phone instead of laptop
• said he doesn't own headphones
• claimed he could do whatever he wanted as it was not illegal

Now, I wished he fell of the bus and died, but the world ain't fair, so he still lives.

Story when I worked as a 1st line technician:

Customer: "Yes hello, I'm trying to install Windows as instructed, but the installer is not starting"

Me: "Ok, have you tried pressing [button] at the bootscreen?"

C: "Yes, over and over, still nothing happens"

This was actually one of my first calls, so my co-worker stepped in to help while I listened.

Co-worker: "okay, so when you rebooted the computer, press [button] and tell me what happens"

C: "....okay, I think it's starting"

Co-w: "Great! I'll just wait until it's running"

A minute goes by, installer seems to be running, but then we hear a loud BEEP. It's so loud another coworker hears it from his desk, through our headsets. A moment goes by, and it BEEPS again. Then the sound begins again, but doesn't stop. It's like an air horn at full blow. We ask the customer what he's doing, but he cannot hear us over the constant beep. We're brainstorming what it could be, when he finally says something:

"CAN.. LET.. OF.."

Co-w: "WHAT???"

"CAN I LET GO OF THE BUTTON??"

-----
I think we laughed the whole day

My kid has a toy car he can sit on, ride and play some music by pressing a huge button. He loves it! And he loves that music.

I don't mind the music, but I do mind how loud it is. When it's playing it's VERY hard to understand what other people in the same room are saying. Now imagine that car starts playing while you're still asleep....

It can scare the shit out of someone! Not to mention it is annoying af.

So today I dug up my never-used kit of eclectronics compoents and some tools. Spent an hour or so and installed a potentiometer in that car from hell! Now I can alter its volume.

I know it's not much, but I feel as if I were an engineer :) That's a nice feeling. I like it.

Just wanted to share

My friend, Gavin, an air steward (a job that he had done for decades), told me about an incident at work. He said that (shockingly to me) passengers occasionally die on a flight (particularly long-haul), just as a matter of course. This can be because people sometimes travel to visit loved ones BECAUSE they are dying, people sometimes find travelling itself stressful (so it can exacerbate an existing medical condition), or simply that, if you took a large number of people and shut them up in a space together for some considerable time, some of them would pop off through sheer statistical probability. Cabin crew are, apparently, fully trained to deal within this eventually in a calm, almost routine manner.

This particular flight, Gavin was working with another gay man: Peter, who was actually a VERY funny personality. Camp, extravagant and loud, Peter really lit up the place. But naturally, when the very elderly male passenger in seat 38b died peacefully in his sleep halfway across the Atlantic, Peter acted (like the entire crew), with decorum and dignity. As per the protocol, all the lights in the cabin were dimmed. A hush fell over the passengers (Gavin told me that, although no announcement is ever made, the other passengers nearly always instinctively know what's happened, with the news spreading via the media of hushed whispers and nudges). Then, as per standing instructions, two of the crew carefully lifted the deceased out of his seat and gently carried him to the crew station where he was laid down on a bed for the remainder of the flight.

After the late gentleman disappeared behind the discreetly drawn curtain, you could have heard a pin drop. There was a demure pause during which, slowly, the lights went back up.

Suddenly Peter's cheery face appeared, poking through the gap in the drapes. He looked around, blinking brightly with curiosity at the seated passengers, and said, in a voice that echoed around the whole cabin:

"SO! Anyone else have the fish?"

He narrowly avoided getting sacked.

DHL? More like, "Du Hurensohn Lieferst ned!"
Seriously! Fuck DHL so fucking hard! Why the FUCK can you deliver 2 FUCKING PACKAGES, WHICH REQUIRE SIGNING, INFRONT OF MY FUCKING ENTRANCE!! But not, A FUCKING 3rd one! LIKE SERIOUSLY! I WAS AT FUCKING HOME THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY! THEN I RECIEVE AN EMAIL THAT THE FUCKING PACKAGE "couldnt be delivered because I wasnt at home" YEAH FUCK YOU! 2 INFRONT OF MY FUCKING DOOR! and then... I see him... that fucking DHL guy, with my package, going INTO HIS FUCKING SHITASS DHL CAR, AND DRIVING OFF!
I literally just wanted to open the window and scream "HEY DHL, MEIN SCHEISS PACKET! WO ISSET!?" but I didnt...

FUCK THESE COCKSUCKERS FROM DHL! I HAVE A FUCKING LOUD DOORBELL! RING THAT THING! THERES A BUTTON WITH MY NAME NEXT TO IT!

I am angry. Do you know why? It's a rhetorical question, because you don't know why I am angry, which is why I'm going to tell you why I'm so. I Followed my friend, " Jane Doe" ( you don't need to know her actual name) to this store in my town. Then these 14-15 years old girls came up to me, and started asking me about my braces. "Where'd you get it?
" How much did it cost ?"
I get these questions like almost every single, and it's annoying. 😒
This one question got me angry. "What 'if' her braces are fake?" A girl said whispering to her friend.
Fake??? My braces are realer than you could ever be, jealous bitch. I said that in my mind, I don't have the guts to say it out loud, besides these girls look like they could tear me to pieces, and I wanted no conflict. I walked away as soon as my friend got her stuffs from the store.
My friend couldn't help but to tease me that I'm a doormat. I guess she's right. 🤔☹😤😟😖

Metaprogramming maybe easy to write but is so fucking hard to read and harder to maintain. Why do people even like these dynamic languages anyway :-/

*a very loud and miserable groan which may be cry for help*

I hate my life right now.

!Dev

Not all Asians are the SAME. Let me explain, I got a coworker who goes by the name "Lau Dum Fuk" (which I learnt that it is pronounced "loud doom fok"). I was so stupid that I pronounced his name as "Loud Dumb Fuck" very awkward. I am Asian but I pronounced Asian name wrong . Who started with the idea that all Asian are the same?

So, we have massive desks in office and there is no much space for them to fit +2 newcomers. Occasionally, my old youtube recommendation "Tetris Original Theme" started playing out loud. :)

Story Time.

TL;DR - Because of Corporate PTSD, I replace the word "everyone/folks/guys" with "Team" when I'm addressing my colleagues, whether it be an e-mail or verbally (F2F/Zoom/GMeet).

In 2019, An office job I worked at, a new Vice President joined the company (the same one who told me he saw me in his dream).

We were required, on a daily basis, to form a circle and one-by-one everyone would out-loud say their yesterday's and current day's tasks updates.

So before the VP joined, everyone was free to initiate their turn however they wanted. Phrases like "Hey Everyone", "Good morning all" or "Hi All" was all around acceptable.

But the moment he started joining the stand-ups, he felt the need to change this phrase to a standard "Good morning Team". No other variations of this. Only and ONLY these three words.

Why you ask? Because saying Good morning is good manners and using the word "Team" strengthens the bond between co-workers and increases collaboration and creativity.

Some colleagues were bound to forget this and they did, which resulted in the VP blasting at everyone for doing so. He would show genuine rage over this, almost as if the company would go out of business because of us, not complying to do so.

Now imagine, you get up at 8 AM, get ready, commute, and get ready to speak for the standup and you get yelled at in front of everyone, FIRST THING before you start working.

Needless to say, it would kill everyone's spirit for getting their day started but nobody could speak up against him because obviously, he was the VP of the company then.

And oh yes, our CEO fired him 5 months after that because he (the VP) got slammed with a pedophilia-related lawsuit, by the parents of a 5-year old.

I am one of those individuals who can't understand a word someone is saying to me if there is any loud background noise - e.g. other people talking near me. That frustrated me so much in the past, nowadays I just say loudly and politely I can't understand a damn word because someone near me is talking a bit too loudly.

How to take off with a jet:

1. Have a 2013 MBP
2. Don't clean the coolers and exhausts for 5 years
3. Transpile an app and start a gradle build
4. Enjoy your machine taking off at around 100°C

FFS Apple, 100°C is not OK. Neither is having the fucking fans so loud I can hear them over my headphones. I should probably clean the laptop... Not sure I can open it up though. Company-issued machine.

In my unenlightened youth, when programming was a module in my college diploma that didn't seem to be taking me where I wanted to go, I had a couple of guys guy in my class that could arguably be the weird ones.

Jonny, although he asserted that he was to be called "Jonhty", whatever, we never did. He was pretty much top of the high school food chain and for some reason elected to study computer science, none of us was prepared to put up with his shit. He was always boasting about some fanciful claim or another, famously entering the classroom and exclaiming he'd "fucked an absolute milf" and seemed somewhat evasive about the answer, turns out he was 17 and she was 35, the age difference was greater than his own age. We burst out laughing. He would also turn up late and state the college bus was late (it wasn't I got the free bus every day, he'd just not got out his wanking chariot early enough).

One valentine's day we got him a card from a mysterious stranger which was accompanied by a package containing a cucumber and Vaseline, the inside of the card read "to assist you in the following request: please go fuck yourself".

Before you think we were being unduly harsh, we had a centre table where we'd be taught from with computers around the outer rim of the room. He'd come up behind people while at the centre desk, quietly press ctrl+P and slowly walk back to the printer. I saw him do it to my machine and I got to the printer first, to which he shouted "that's MY work" which was amusing because unbeknownst to him I had put headers on all my documents so he really didn't have an answer for why my name was at the top of every page.

To top it all off he had dead eyes, there didn't appear to be much going on but the rent, there was no spark of intelligent life, and while I thought it, I never said it out loud, but other students did and I had to agree. He was just copying his way to graduation. However, he ultimately didn't graduate when people refused to allow him to copy.

Another guy, Richard I believe his name was, which is just as well because he was a right dick. In the UK our word for white trash is "chav" (that's a very naïve explanation for it but that's another rant best left for "socialsciencerant") and he was an complete idiot who was gifted with more brain cells than he ever needed to use. He actually studied hard and got reasonable grades, probably on par with me, but he boasted about smoking weed all the time, he was forever playing dark side of the moon via his loud mp3 player. I kinda left him alone generally until he was high in class one time and while we we're watching a documentary he'd shake my chair and make a weird noise in my ear every few minutes, the first couple of times startled me, the remaining multi-dozen times pissed me off.

It all came to a head with this guy when I'd been hearing about his uninteresting bs on drugs, music and how best to spend my time ("you need to lighten up man, come round my house, take a joint and relax man", that sorta thing), well this guy walked like he was mid way through shitting himself so I personally think that perhaps he is too chilled. Anyway he's arguing with me and after the exchange of him making his point, me disagreeing and expecting the end of it, he made the mistake of saying two words to me:

"Listen, mate..."

And I had him in check mate.

"Listen, I ain't your fucking mate , I don't even like you, you're a disruptive annoying twat that thinks he knows it all, we're all 17, none of us know anything, so shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and stop boring me with your drugs, I ain't interested, and for the record I think pink Floyd ruined prog rock!"

He looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes, and started with the "but, why?", However I was interrupted and had to leave the class for unrelated reasons, I returned to be told he'd put safety pins up right on my chair so I'd sit on them, and mutual friends who TD me I'd been cruel and that he doesn't was hurt, so I should apologize, he overheard and said he was sorry for bring a bit of a dick.

However, you just know when you don't get on with someone? Yeah, that. So I said I wasn't sorry for what I said, for while it was harsh, I am not his mate, nor did I want to be his mate and that was all I had to say on the subject, and that if he wants to take offensive to a nobody not liking him then he's in for a very rough time in life.

Unsurprisingly I don't keep in touch with anyone from college!

During my first internship, my boss had me build a social network type of platform for doctors, all by myself, using Drupal 7. I was like 'aw yeah sure!'...*sigh* younger me...

While I was working there, he didn't have any particular input on the project other that the occasional brainstorming session, where he would tell me things that big firms do (Facebook, Twitter etc.) that should be implemented. It was 2012 so you can imagine that many standard concepts of today, were making their first appearance back then.

I remember that he was sitting on his desk, a little further next to mine, watching a video about how to treat your employees like mine-digging goblins, in a way that would bring profit to the company. He didn't notice that the volume was loud enough and that I could hear what the video said. Still to this day, that moment was one of the most awkward experiences I had in any workspace.

Well the project turned out to be a really well-built prototype and then canceled because reality hit me and I left after my internship ended, even though he told me that he wanted to hire me and have me work on the project full-time.

So happy to have been there, just to learn to avoid people and places like that in the future, it really paid off (seriously, this is the type of stuff that you have to experience in order to armor up in the future).

I've legit just spent the past few days CRYING to get my react native app to compile on iOs using the xcodebuild command so that I can use a cloud build service (VS App Center). It works fine with XCode 'play' button but not through the command line. About to give up. Literally Googled 'fuck xcode' and found this, thank you guys, you made today a bit less dreary than what i was going to be. Reading through the posts actually made me laugh out loud.

!activism

Guys, what should we do about Article 13 ?

The bill passed, well, that's unfortunate. We can still scream as loud as we can that it's a very bad idea, but let's face it, it won't probably work...

Personally, I'm sick of this shit. Every year they try to "regulate" the web with a new fucked-up legislation that they actually don't understand. I don't blame them for not knowing any better, but I blame them not to surround themselves with actually competent people (and no, lobbies are NOT competent, only interested).

So there it is : I want to act on this one. With traditional, ineffective methods (petitions, mails...), but I want to get further this time.

Here are some ideas :
- create/promote a platform explicitly made for "copyrighted" stuff (basically memes). Located outside of EU. But is it enough for being outside of the law ?
- Put some physical-paper memes near the EU parliament (I live in Brussels), just to mess with them ^_^
- Make the filtering algorithms crazy by spamming them with copyrighted content. I doubt this one will have any effect though...

Any ideas ? Let's go crazy there, they deserve it.

Can we rant about coworking spaces?

I like the coworking office concept and I love this desk I have for myself, I like this building, the supervisor is sweet and I made new clients here...

But I hate one of my "neighbours".

We have several office rules and he constantly breaks them.

No music allowed without headphones. Nope, gotta listen to shitty radio straight from the smartphone speaker.

No loud conferences or phone talks. Nah, let's set the volume to the max. And leave the phone behind and let it ring loudly forever.

You can only occupy one desk unless you rent more. In comes his coworker who keeps occupying an extra desk for free and who's as loud as he is. And bring the kids because hey, growing up bored inside a office is good for them.

And today's newest: no eating in the office. Coworker brought her kid who set up a -dinning table- on the extra desk and began eating her lunch leftovers. It wouldn't have been so bad and I wouldn't have noticed except the office was overflowed with the stench of overheated pasta.

This is a big office. I had to open the windows. I can still feel the smell. It's nauseating.

I didn't say anything because it's not the kid's fault they didn't take her to the building's canteen space. But at the risk of making enemies where I shouldn't, I need to have a "fun" talk with someone.

Yesterday I did some experiments with my lab bench power supply to see if everything was working as it should, and whether my newly acquired laptop (old business laptop from 2004) would still power up. Noticed that it did, and left the thing charging for a while - its battery was completely drained. But after letting it sit for a few hours, one of my switches wouldn't turn off anymore.

The lab bench power supply has a 250V 2.5A (625W) rated switch on the AC side, connected to a 50V 10A (500W) AC-DC power supply. The DC side of that is then connected to 2 DPS5005 units, of which one was driving 50W of power into the laptop.

The experiment went reasonably well, the AC-DC power supply was loud but stayed cool like a cucumber. The switch however wouldn't turn off anymore after a few hours. Today I've desoldered that and put on a new one, and did a failure analysis. Turns out that it was a rocker switch (so there's a little nub in there that moves a piece of metal back and forth) and that the contacts of the switch (the piece of metal and the inside of the connector piece) were welded together.

However, the only thing that I know of that causes this welding is when loads are switched off, and an arc is generated. This wasn't the case here - it was just kept on for a couple of hours, with (accounting for power losses across the circuits) 80W going through it at most. I never expected that to cause a weld. Any clue as to why this happened? It really boggles my mind, and I don't want the switch that's currently in there to face the same fate.

So I'm on vacation right now to visit family. I received an email from the head of department that, due to our department getting 7 new hires in one day, the seating arrangement has been changed.

My new seat is next to this one developer who's old enough to be my dad. He's a very nice guy and all, but the problem is he burps ALL. THE. TIME. I've never met anybody more gassy. His burps don't stink, thank God, but they're loud enough that it's seriously jarring.

You know how us devs can be completely in the zone until some marketing dickbag taps you on the shoulder and asks you to check your email or help with something that is absolutely not your job and you completely lose all focus and have to start over? Its exactly like that, except it happens every 10 minutes.

Another thing is, my back is now facing away from the wall, towards the rest of the office. The nearest section to mine is management. That means that anybody, including the CEO, can walk up right behind me and see what I'm doing at all times.

I really hate that. Id much rather be next to the wall to have some sort of privacy. Somehow sitting next to burpy guy is still the thing I'm most annoyed about though.

I tried to ask for a different seat, but my manager effectively said that I have no choice but to sit there because that guy is part of my team, and teammates should sit together. He forgot about the fact that, while the work him and I do is indeed related, I've been working on a solo project for the past few months and I don't need to be next to anybody in particular because I'm the only one working on this thing. Theoretically, I could sit in the toilet with my laptop and get my work done just fine. Maybe when I talk to him face to face in the office I can convince him to have some mercy on me.

The bright side is I'm very excited about meeting those 7 new hires I mentioned. They seem to be smart, capable people so I look forward to working with them and learning from them. Every cloud has a silver lining. 😊

Fuck this day!
Like really fuck it!
I have one of the most terrible crunch-time i ever experienced.
I’v been working 12+ hours every day with an ever-changing project timeline.
It started simple, we made a timeline, it was risky even then but it was realistic, we started working immideatly, everything looked good then a few days in BOOM! Actually our project management completely forgot client B’s projects soo we need to do that too with the same fucking deadline!!! (About 10x more work in waay less time)
Then this morning i got an email from the graphics team that we need to document our design process RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Because management wants documentations, in the middle of a fucking crunch-time.
Today it almost got physical with my project manager, i told him that he is not a programmer, i dont fucking care about his shit, just fuck off and let me work because we won’t be ready based on his unrealistic bs.
I feel like completely fucked over, like we were told 2 days before deadline that the whole company and people’s jobs depends on us now because if we wont finish this clients won’t pay.
WE ARE TWO PROGRAMMERS for studio of 10-12 people!!!
Soo i’w been thinking about getting the fuck out of here ASAP, i got an offer from a pretty big international gamedev company just what i needed, i already did their test before all of this, i passed A+.
We scheduled a skype interview for today. I had completely no time to prepare or chill off, just got out of the office, got into a starbucks and i’m interviewing. No time to even check my mic or internet, the call was so shit i could not hear anything, they neither because the plaza was loud af. Meanwhile im nervous about work, about the interview, about can they hear me at all because of the noise. I fucked it up. BIG time! I was so done i could not reverse a fucking string in c++ or explain what is a signed int!!!
Needless to say they said no.
Need time to think about it or realize what happened? Nice dreams. Back to the office and continue working.
I can’t do this anymore. My girlfriend came for me and took me home at 10pm but all i could do was stare at the floor on the subway. I don’t want people to lose their jobs but i just phisically can’t do this anymore.
Meanwhile any time i talk to my project manager about being tired he says like “hshshsbsb i have 60 hours in the last 4 days i got the worst part, i would be grateful in your place..” like fuck off dude, i dont give fuck about how you feel about this. This is not okay for me, you did this to the project, your fucking job is to manage it! I have one day off before going back to this, i have completely no idea what to do now...

[ps: this is not Nemesys. They did not let me work on my own stuff because i would be a competitor, so i left.]

>Gets a new CPU for desktop (yay, went from R5 1600 to R5 3600X)
>Spends half a day flashing new MB BIOS (Needed to flash individual major versions in order, couldn't just go 1.10 to 6.40)
>Finally finishes preparations and goes to replace the CPU
>Cleans the old one and packages it to give it to a friend
>Has issues inserting the new one as the orientation arrow on the motherboard was very hard to make out
>Spends 30 minutes applying thermal paste, worrying about optimal spread
>Forgets which side the CPU fan goes on
>Finally boots back up... CPU fan is suddenly loud AF under load, but eh, temps under stress are sub-60, so, good

~~Next day~~
>Loud CPU fan is too annoying, opens the case again
>CPU fan is on backwards
Ugh
>Takes the fan off, turns it around and fastens again, puts PC back together and boots
>Is quiet again, nice
>Goes to work on the PC
>2 hours later randomly checks temps because no fan noise is weird
>CPU at 75dC, crap
>Opens the (live) PC, CPU fan is not spinning
>Has put the header on one pin to a side
>Unplugs and replugs it correctly
>Fan suddenly starts spinning very fast and cuts my finger
>Finally closes the case once more. All issues resolved

...Its situations like these that make me wonder... What would happen it I had to work with servers in person, physically lol

We should not tolerate censorship.
Beyond all the u.s. hype over elections
(and the division in the west in general), the real story is all the censorship on both sides.
Reasonable voices are quickly banned, while violent voices and loud angry people are amplified.

I broke out of the left-right illusion when
I realized what this was all about. Why
so much fighting in the street was allowed, both
justified and unjustified. Why so much hate
and division and slander, and back and forth
was allowed to be spread.

It's problem, reaction, solution.
The old order of liberal democracy, represented
in the u.s. by the facade of the GOP and DNC,
doesn't know how to handle the free *distributed*
flow of information.

That free-flow of information has caused us to
transition to a *participatory* democracy, where
*networks* are the lever of power, rather than
top down institutions.

Consequently, the power in the *new era* is
to decide, not what the *narrative* is, but
who can even *participate*, in spreading,
ideating, and sharing their opinions on that
narrative, and more broadly, who is even allowed
to participate in society itself.

The u.s. and west wants the chinese model of
control in america. you are part of a network, a
collective, through services and software, and
you can be shut off from *society* itself at
the drop of a pin.

The only way they get that is by creating a crisis,
outright fighting in the streets. Thats why
people keep being released after committing serious
fucking crimes. It's why the DOJ and FBI are
intent on letting both sides people walk.
They want them at each others literal throat,
calling for each other's blood. All so they
can step back and then step in the middle when
the chorus for change cries out loud enough.

And the answer will be

1. regulated tech

2. an end to television media as we know it

3. the ability to shut someone off from any service on a dime

4. new hatespeech laws that will bite *all* sides in the ass.

5. the ability to shape the narrative of society by simply 'pruning' networks as they see fit, limiting the reach of individuals on all sides, who are problematic to
the collective direction.

I was so caught up in the illusion of us-vs-them I didn't
see it before now. This is a monstrous power grab.

And instead of focusing on a farce of election, where the party *organizations* involved are institutional facades for industrialists, we should be focusing on the real issue:

* Failure of law to do its job online, especially failures of slander and libel laws, failures of laws against conspiracy to commit crime or assault

* New laws that offer injunctive relief against censorship, now that tech really is the commons. Because whats worse than someone online whipping up a mob on either side, is
someone who is innocent being *silenced* for disagreeing with something someone in authority said, or for questioning a politician, party, or corporation.

* Very serious felony level laws against doxxing and harassment on all sides, with retroactive application of said laws because theres a lot of people on all sides who won't be satisfied with the outcome until people who are guilty are brought to justice.

Dear boss,
I'm calling in sick today - this fucking thing has the bright idea to update the firmware on its own.

Regards,
@C0D4

It's fucking annoying when your roommate feels the need to play their music so loudly you can hear it through the walls. That's not fucking necessary... I listen to music all the time without it being that loud. And if I want loud music, I do the polite thing of putting my headphones in. This shit didn't bother me early on, but it's getting on my last fucking nerves these days.

I'm trying to do homework and can barely focus because of the constant sound of bass non-stop.

Why is it that mediocre people are so loud mouthed.
some stupid wannabe fuck buys a sports car ranging around 100k, he will 3 stories of a week of that car.
Meanwhile the guy who has his own yatch and 12 properties doesn't say a word about it and appears lowkey
i find this fascinating af

Am I not allowed to listen to melodic instrumental rock/metal arrangement music, even though I just wanted to finish my job as soon as possible?

I remembered last Sunday when we had a dinner of our co-member's house where the neighbors music was so loud that it hurts their ears. I'm not being hypocrite because I do, too, love rock music. So when they talked about it, I zipped my mouth with innocent eyes and listened to their tattletale with my mind bursting, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR TALKING; I SIMPLY LOVE THE BACKGROUND MUSIC WHEN YOU TRY TO INFLUENCE THEIR NUTSHELLED BRAIN.

So my grandma just called me saying that there is something wrong with the computer and the UPS is making a weird noise. When I went to find out what's going on, the UPS was beeping constantly and the computer was in the middle of a startup repair. Obviously there is no way to cancel the repair, and unplugging the UPS would probably do more harm to the computer. So we had to listen to that constant, loud, high-pitch noise while waiting for the startup repair to complete. And mind you, I'm talking about a very old and slow computer with windows 7 on it. After the repair was done, I quickly turned off the computer so I can reset the UPS and save my eardrums from burning in hell.

The worst thing is that I've downloaded the documentation of the UPS, and there was no mention of what a constant beeping means, it only described the meanings of normal beeping patterns (battery low, etc...).

My eyes are still ringing and my ears are still blurry from 20 minutes of that noise.

I just installed Opera Mini on my PSP. That alone isn't very exciting on its own, although I am stoked that my website does in fact render on a device from 2009. With the helpful guidance of a laptop from 2004 that's doing the hotspot duties for this thing.

No, what really got me stoked is that Opera still supports these old platforms, and how small they managed to make it. The .jar file for Opera Mini 4.5 is ~800kB large. There's a .jad file as well but it's negligible in size and seems to be a signature of sorts.

Let that sink in for a moment. This entire web browser is 800kB. Firefox meanwhile consistently consumes 800 MEGABYTES.. in MEMORY. So then, I went to think for a moment, how on earth did they manage to cram an entire functioning web browser in 800kB? Hell, what makes up a web browser anyway?

The answer to that question I got to is as follows. You need an engine to render the web page you receive. You need a UI to make the browser look nice. And finally you need a certificate store to know which TLS certificates to trust. And while probably difficult to make, I think it should be possible to do in 800k. Seriously, think about it. How would you go *make* a web browser? Because I've already done that in the past.

Earlier I heard that you need graphics, audio, wasm, yada yada backends too.. no. Give your head a shake. Graphics are the responsibility of the graphics driver. A web browser shouldn't dabble with those at all. Audio, you connect to PulseAudio (in Linux at least) and you're done. Hell I don't even care about ALSA or OSS here. You just connect to the stuff that does that job for you. And WebAssembly.. God I could rant about that shit all day. How about making it a native application? Not like actual Assembly is used for BIOS and low-level drivers. And that we already have a better language for the more portable stuff called C.

Seriously, think about it. Opera - a reputable browser vendor - managed to do it in 800kB on a 12 year old device. Don't go full wank on your framework shit on the comments. And don't you fucking dare to tell me that there's more to it. They did it for crying out loud. Now you take a look at your shitpile for JS code and refactor that shit already. Thank you.

Let's call him Butthead.

Butthead loves hearing his own voice, so he speaks like waterfall. You ask him one question, prepare for a one hour discussion. Always in same loud voice no matter if he is in a meeting or just chatting with his side mate.

I was laid off. The reason? Well, they didn't really want to say but they were clear it wasn't due to performance. (Thankfully, I got severence pay.) From my perspective it really came out of nowhere, no warnings or even hints that this was coming, which has me spinning. 😵 If I'm doing well at my job and the company is doing well, how in the seven hells could I get laid off??

What they said was partly the reason didn't seem true, or not the whole truth. They essentially stated that "they talked with everyone I worked with" (probably not true based on their decision, but who knows) and came to the conclusion I wasn't suitable to work on large teams, and that's the direction they are moving in. As if it wasn't something that could be improved on 🤔

I'll be the first to admit I'm not the best communicator face-to-face, mainly due to my social anxiety but also because I have too many thoughts. It can be difficult to condense them down for other people in the heat of the moment. (I'm an INTP, if that helps you to understand what I mean.) However, I know I'm a pretty good communicator overall since I listen and pay special attention to phrasing and word choice. So most people I worked with there seemed quite satisfied with communication with me. There were only 2-3 out of more than 12 who I had any difficulty working with.

So why did I have trouble properly working with a couple people? I hesitate to say this but, like other jobs I've had, well... they didn't have either the experience or knowledge to understand me. Basically, they were stupid. I was pretty frustrated working with such inadequately prepared people on a complex project with ludicrously short deadlines, and had no desire to work overtime so I could educate or guide them.

To give perspective, one React developer didn't understand how object properties work with JavaScript. 🤦‍♀️ (They are references, by the way. And yes you can have an object reference inside another object!) Another React developer thought it was okay to have side effects during the render lifestyle because they didn't affect the component itself, even if it was a state change in a parent component. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

So what is the real reason I lost my job, if not performance? Could be I pissed off the stupid (and loud) ones which hurt my reputation. My main theory, however, is that I was raising the cost of the company's healthcare. I had a diseased organ so I did miss some work or worked from home more than I should have, and used my very good health insurance to the fullest extent I could. Of course, if they say that's the reason then they can get sued.

Huge bummer, whatever the case. I definitely learned some lessons from this situation that others in a similar position could find useful. I can write that up if anyone expresses interest.

Honestly though, this is a good thing in the end, because I was already planning to leave in a month or 2 once I found a better job. I was waiting for the right time for the project I was on and for my own financial stability. So I'm trying hard not to let this affect my self-esteem and think of it as an opportunity to get my dream job, which is working with a remote-first company that is focused on improving the human condition.

Being unemployed isn't ideal, but at least I didn't have to quit! And I get to have a bit of a vacation of a sort.

So I just got off of a teams call which I suffered the classic BSOD part way through, a colleague tells me that the entire time I was disconnected waiting for my laptop to restart, my team's account was broadcasting a super loud jackhammer style racket to everyone else in the call 🤦🏼‍♂️ and of course nobody knew how to mute me so they sat in 3 minutes of what can only be described as noise 😂😂

I'm not sure whether to feel embarrassed to have caused the issue or to be annoyed that the software does something so random while I'm not even in the call or with a powered on laptop 🙈

Sometimes my thoughts are so loud, I think my coworkers can hear me.

So this just happened,

Me and my co-worker (we are junior developers) were working on the same bug, it was a post call throwing a server exception.

We had asked for help to debug this issue from a senior developer the day before, he was quite busy with his own tasks.

He is one those kinds who would keep working even if the entire bay is wasting their time, always keeping to himself, needless to say I haven't seen him smile.

Back to my story, he couldn't spare time yesterday so we tried to squash the bug ourselves thinking he might have forgotten we had called him.He then comes out of nowhere, he firsr checks the button bindings, params sent and the call being made.

He then went through the backend code strategically placing the break points, clicks and debugs a few times and then opens the console. BAM!!!!

" D' hell yo !!" Shows up in the console, not just once but multiple times. Turns out I forgot the logger I had placed in the catch block.

He turns to me in super slo-mo looks me in the eye and whispers "what the hell yo!" and kept quite for some time, meanwhile the sense of cringe was slowly creeping on me. That was when he let out a loud blurt and the entire cabin turned to us. Needless to say it was awkward.

His smile was creepy though :/

So I installed Avast because I was downloading some torrents.
After months I suddenly hear a really loud "*ping* *ping* *ping* Eine Bedrohung wurde gefunden". I nearly got a heart attack. I thought I've got a fucking maleware shitty fuck thing, but I had no idea how I could find out where the fuck it was coming from. So I ignored it.

Then, weeks later again: "*ping* *ping* *ping* Eine Bedrohung wurde gefunden", while I was browsing the web.
I thought it was coming from a website so I looked through every tab and window. But nothing.
So I googled the exact sentence it said, and voila:
The first result was from the avast support site.

I opened avast and looked into the settings. There! A checkbox to turn it off! These fucking cock suckers enabled it by default!
It was the first time I enjoyed clicking a fucking checkbox. FUCK YOU AVAST!!!

Why is AntiVirus Software so shitty these days... I'll probably just switch to Windows Defender.

Cannot understand those who are frustrated with it.
Sure, one can feel frustration when some project is not going as they were supposed to go, but that is life for ya, boi.

Without wanting to offend anyone it feels like devs who complain so much either do not actively search for a solution and learn shit properly and cry their soul out afterwards or they do search, but cannot find anything.
Patience is the solution. Do not let yourself fall down and stay strong.
Even if it takes a lot of willpower, retries, inner pain, patience and non-sleepy nights, you will and can do it. I believe in you.

My whole life was basically a psychological disaster.
I have had and still have depression and a lot of short frustrations from time to time, too, but I do not cry it out loud.
My high school is fucked up. In every single aspect. I am doing all-nighters almost every day. With maybe half an hour of sleep to get school projects done on time.
I cannot just say "fuck you. I am not gonna do this shit" to school, because that would affect my grades in a negative way. Same thing applies to you, as an employee, too. But at least you do not need to be afraid of getting bad grades.
Bad grades->not getting the desired degree->bad chance of finding a job
In your case:
Bad communication with boss->bad connection->bad chance of finding a job

But is that really so?
I do not think so. Nonetheless, you still can have a good chance of finding a job, if you have proven yourself to others in a great way. Everyone has bad times. Even with their bosses. That's normal. Being bad with someone does not make yourself bad in general.

The job world will still accept you, but school won't accept you again. Whenever I feel like the burnout is about to catch me, I take an immediate break and go outside. Take a walk in the sunset. Go to the forest. Run with music playing loudly. Swim. And other things like watching the stars in the silence of the night.

To finally come to an end here...
Do not make yourself feel bad that quickly and try to endure the pain. This is going to make you a better and stronger person.
If you cannot do it anymore (hitting the borders of burnout), take your time and do whatever makes you happy and treat yourself.
Life is not all about work. Were you born to be a worker? No. Were you born to be a slave of others? No.
What is holding you then? Let go of all the stress (for a minute). You are free.

You are a great person.
Do not forget that.

Story Time.

I was hanging around at a friend's place when she informed me that her roommate is throwing a really lavish party 50kms away from the city. I got invited by said roommate and I agreed to go.

When we arrived at the venue, there were like 100+ people at this place, all smoking weed drinking and dancing in loud music. I was also stoned at that point.

So at one point, my friend abandoned me and I found myself talking to 10 complete strangers. I realized that I was on my own and thought about seeing how much rizz I got.

Mind you that everyone was drunk and there was loud music everywhere so there was no way anyone else knew that I was getting shot down lol.

After couple rejections, I straight up went to a girl and said "You want to smoke weed and make out in the bathroom?" And to my surprise, she said yes. So, we both already high and drunk slipped into the bathroom and made out for like 10 mins and I smoked all my weed with her.

Then, at some other point, my friend showed up and we went home. The one thing I missed, was asking for her number, which I kicked myself later for. I guess stoners don't realize they have phones.

Prior to a tech conference in Las Vegas, the department manager held pre-meetings (yes, more than one)
with the developers to outline their expected behavior (yes, there was an outline in Word). Since
they would be representing the company, professionalism would be expected at all times, not just
during the conference. He knew he couldn’t forbid gambling and drinking, but any unruly behavior
that could reflect badly on the company would be dealt with severe disciplinary action up to and
including termination. He wrote up very detailed itinerary, what track each developer was
expected to attend, meal times (yes, what time to get up for breakfast, meet for lunch, and time
to eat at night). First day was fine, casinos are kinda crazy so having an itinerary wasn’t the
worst idea and no one got lost. Days following however, got interesting. After the first evening
meal, everyone hit the casino as expected (too much drinking, etc..normal single twenty-something
guys do) and the manager especially had a good time.
Next, and following days, the manager could not be found in any of the ‘required’ technical tracks.
Not that they cared that much, but couple of devs decided to check out the casino, and sure enough,
there he was at one of the tables, drunk, and being very loud around at 10 in the morning.
Again, nobody cared much, manager wasn’t very tech savy, and so attending a track on C #threading
would be lost on him. It was more of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ kind of thing.
The manager kept to the itinerary, he met everyone at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, etc, but the
‘WTF’s didn’t get good until the manager was bragging about how wonderful the conference was, how
much he was learning and couldn’t wait to get back and start implementing everything he was learning.
It was such a joke, the guys would bait him on tracks they know he didn’t attend and an amazing amount
of BS could not be believed.
On the last day of the conference several decided to follow him after breakfast to see where he went
and watched him go into a technical track, just to walk back out and straight to the casino floor.
Again, around 10, he was drunk, not quite as loud until he threw up in a trash can (they said it was quite a scene).
He left to go back his room, which they suspected he took a nap before meeting everyone for lunch.
After that, they gathered his daily itinerary was:
- Get up for breakfast
- walk around and make sure it looked like he was heading to a track
- head to the casino
- take a nap
- eat lunch
- walk around some more
- head to the casino
- take a nap
- eat dinner
- head to the casino
- wash-rinse-repeat
Last day caught up with him. After about week of drinking, staying up late, etc, his body (he’s in his mid 50’s, 350lbs+, so imagine)
kinda’ gave up. Could barely walk 50 feet without needing to sit down, and the flight back was worse for everyone,
throwing up occasionally, moaning, you get the idea.
On the following Monday with the VP if IT, everyone was discussing the conference, what they learned,
what they liked, etc, the manager also bragged, yes bragged, on how tired he was because of how much
he learned and the reason why he probably caught the flu (he couldn’t hide how sick he was on the flight)
saying “When you’re in the learning zone, you lose track of time and then you are so exhausted, your
immune system is susceptible to all kinds of things.” . VP was so impressed by his dedication and
fighting through the exhaustion for the good of the company, he gave him the rest of the day off.
Other devs? No, they had to go back to work.

Seriously, why are so many companies caught up with if there developers working from home or not? Maybe it's where I'm at, but my last boss said ...

" I know you don't have any problem making deadlines and your a good worker, but you still need to come to the office in order to have face to face interaction."

Me: "This is the first face to face conversation I've had with someone in over a week."

Boss: (shrugs)"our goal is to build an office friendly environment where people will enjoy coming into the office"

Me: in my head "your an idiot"... Out loud "Ok"
...

In reality my custom built machine is better than yours, and I'm more productive in my Sealy Posturpedic chair and pajamas than your wack office chair with you popping your head out of your office every couple hours to "manage" me when you haven't written code in years and i have to teach you things that you bring to your boss to make yourself look smart.

Work won't buy me noise-cancelling headphones T_T it gets so fucking loud here in this open floor plan

So my startup warned me last night that I would have to pitch. Goddamn guys, really?! Pitch for a minute in front of ... PEOPLE?! WTF were they thinking?! I'm a fucking dev, not a HR guy for crying out loud

The park, under a tree. Preferably beside a lake or stream.

There can be people present, so long as they’re not too loud and don’t ask what I’m doing, hit on me, or try to chitchat.

I just said out loud to the computer: So, is 1 bigger than 1?
Sometimes I think how funny would be someone watching a programmer.

disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.

boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them.

Fellow devranter detected?
I can hardly count how many times I've used profanities for variable names or placeholder text. But, unlike this landing page for the Norwegian company 1881's API they never see the light of day. At least I hope so...

Made my giggle out loud at least, 1881 is a well known and respectable (I guess) company over here. Hello world! :-D

In a meeting yesterday working through our WebAPI coding standards, starting from File -> New project..etc..etc.. and ironing out some of the left-or-right decisions so we can have a consistent coding style, working in a meeting room with an overhead projector and sharing keyboard around with one another.

Then we hit the routing 'rules' in the WebApiConfig, "api/{controller}/{id}"…

DevMgr: "Do we need the 'api' prefix? It seems redundant."
Ralph: "Yes it's needed. Prefixing the controllers with 'api' is industry best practice. Otherwise, how is anyone to know it's a web api"
Prancer: "Yea, it's part of the REST standard."
Me: "I don't think so. That is only part of the Asp.Net routing rule. We can put anything we want or take anything out."
DevMgr: "Yea, it looks silly. All the new services are going to be business process specific."
Ralph: "That's how everyone does it. It's kind of the point of why REST services are called WebApi"
Prancer: "What's the point of doing any of this work if we're not going to follow industry standards."
Me: "I understand if the service is part of larger web site, but we're developing standalone services. Prefixing routes with 'api' is redundant. I mean who are these 'everyone' you're talking about?"
<ralph rolls his eyes>
Ralph: "Lets see …uhhh… Netflix?. They're kinda a big deal."
Me: "Like I said, it's an integral part of their site and the services they provide. That's fine. I'm talking about the 12 other 3rd party services we integrate with. None of them have 'api' on any of their routes."
Prancer: "We're talking about serious web services."
Me: "Last time I checked, UPS is a big and serious service."
Ralph: "Their services are a fracking joke" – he didn't say fracking.
Me: "Our payroll system, our billing system, billion dollar companies, didn't have '/api' prefix anywhere. Heck, even that free faxing service we used for a while was a dead-simple routing path."
<I take the keyboard away from Ralph, remove the 'api' from the route.>
Me: "There. Done. Now, lets talk about error handling.."

Rest of the meeting Ralph and Prancer don't say much of anything, arms crossed…I swear Ralph looked like he was going to cry.
This morning I catch my boss…
Me: "What did you think of the meeting? I thought Ralph was going to take a swing at me when I took the keyboard away from him."
DevMgr: "Oh yes…I almost laughed out loud….blows my freaking mind how worked up people get about crap that doesn't matter. Api..or not…who the frack cares. Just make it consistent"
Me: "Exactly…I didn't care either way, but I enjoyed calling out that nonsense."
DevMgr: "Yes..waaay too much."

If I didn't call them on their BS and the 'standard' allowed to continue, I can bet my paycheck when the subject comes up in a few months (another mgr asks 'isn't this api prefix redundant?') Ralph and Prancer will be the first to say "Yea, its stupid. We fought really hard to remove it from the standard...its not our fault...its <insert scapegoat> fault."

Nothing makes me happier than listening to my neighbor's disgusting banda music playing as loud as it can.

No worries tho, the cops will be here in about 20 mins (it usually is 20) one would have expected that after getting the cops called on you for 3 times already you would get the message:

No homeslice. If i want to listen to that cantina piece of shit music on my fucking friday nights I will make sure to let u know :) but I actually have class so no thank you.

This is why Trump hates us (Mexicans)

It’s still WFH in India. So, everything at home is a distraction. Indian households are noisy ones. Heavy traffic, loud music, constant interruptions by family members.

Appreciating the fact that I can code in my pyjamas without people judging me though.

Today I was debugging some shitty code left by unknown developer whos linkedin account is dead and phone number left in contact card calls local pizza house.

I knew it qould be hard so i've made myself comfortable, gathered 5 redbulls and other items that diabetes people would kill for eating again.

After around 10 minutes i was already frustrated but i kept the pace. "Who is the best, little devie, you!" - I fooled my ego to keep up and shut up.

After around 10 next minutes my attention span has ended. Limbic system started injecting some hormones into my brain, but I remained silent.

First two energy shots were applied. I felt like hero again. Two minutes after I was debugging through some library that was written fo java and found out that it ahots some natives to a c lang lib called "mypreciouslib".

Oh flock, how can i debug it if ita compiled , I cannot do such things, Me be only junior dev. I started swearing, but silently.

Started ollydbg to see what is inside livrary, i searched through but i couldnt match anything it was like mess stirred with fecals of an elephant.

So I opened aida pro " with vitamins" cause obviously, our pm says "but you write in java right " so we dont need those tools right ? Fuck no.

Aida was better at least i could find some funcions calls, but hey, the progress. I was swearing out loud, with earplugs in. And by the time I've sweared all the things in company i got a reminder.

"Hey -insane- stop swearing, the children are here."-sayys pm, it is some kind of " family and work " shitfuck day.

So i asked them: " why wouldnt you buy this fucking tools for programmming for us , you wouldnt have to hear me fucking swearing" . then i realized that , colleagues in room heard all of it, and one of them, total fuckface buttlicker(dev without bit of knowledge) started something like "you are wrong, see how good our software is sellling". Pm was like smiling like he thanked him for buttlicking again. Not to mention he is officially retarded and i know his password to all our services cause he is so smart to put it into text file and then have sharing files in windows turned on.

The other one told aloud, that we would be much better with some debugging tools that are better than fucking eclipse if we have to work without code.

PM told us that he will arrange a meeting. At that point I didnt care any longer. I just fired myself, fuck them.

Please saint Stallman give me hope and joy of programming from my teenage years. Uhhh..

#require "A rant from a few days ago in which some guy actually did this";;

Current fantasy: I wish the two assholes sitting at the table next to mine in the cafe and being super loud and obnoxious were discussing a business idea so that I could buy their domain name and put a large "eat a bag of dicks" type picture on it.

Heres another Story of my nosebleeds... Its a death circle...
1. Micro Scratch opens in nose.
2. Nose starts to bleed...
4. I Start to swear and scream really
FUCKING LOUD BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS SO NOSERAPING ANNOYING!!
3. Eventually it stops
4. It starts to heal...
5. I get a little bigger...
6. THE CIRCLE CLOSES AND STARTS AGAIN! I HOPE SO MUCH THAT I STOP GAINING HEIGHT VERY FUCKING SOON BECAUSE I COULD MAKE VERY FUCKING MANY BLOOD DONATIONS WITH MY BLOOD! AND MY KEYBOARD...oh god...

#IamNotgayatallandpeoplehatedmyoldtagsothisismynewone

Fuck this shit! Roommate just barged in at 3:30AM, his gf in tow. They went to bed like I am not here and he is snoring like a chainsaw. I never understood how can she sleep next to him while he snores like that. I have earplugs and active noise cancelling headphones on. I can still hear that motherfucker loud and clear. How the fuck is she not awake?!

But more importantly, 50% of this fucking room is mine, what makes him think he can just have his girlfriend over while I am here is beyond me. Like, sure, if I am not here go ahead but when I am here I would like some privacy, I guess the plank wall that I made in the middle of the room is not an obvious enough clue that I want privacy and I don't want to be disturbed :-/

Can't wait to have enough proof of his bullshit to get the block manager to throw him out.

Edit: To add to the snoring problem: I had a girlfriend who would snore, less than my roommate but still loud enough that I was awake the whole night when I went to sleep at her place... I HATE SNORING ... And when I went home for some holidays and my brother snored even for a second I kicked him off of his bed (because why not, he is an asshole to me like 99% of the time - and so am I to him :D //sibling love//)

!dev

Look what I'm fixing to say is gonna make seem like a cunt and it'll probably be deserved but at the same time, I think it should be said too.

The increasingly high number of people fishing for compliments and attention because of their CHOSEN profession being important in the current times is starting get old as fuck.

I've seen so many people fishing for compliments; rather it be medical workers or truck drivers because their job is more important now than usual.

Like don't get me wrong, they're all necessary for society to function. But for crying out loud y'all chose this profession for yourselves. You knew this could happen whenever you decided to go to school for your job. You don't hear server admins bragging and fishing for attention whenever they restore access to a service.

Just do your job, know that everyone appreciates what you're doing even if it's not being verbally said, and let it end there. Personally feel that if you went into the medical field for the praise and recognition, then you went in there for the wrong reason.

Anyways, y'all stay safe and let's get this shit show over with already. Ya boy is going insane

I'm in an open space

Since there are new people, they are formed so people are talking. So I put my headphones with noise reduction.

But I'm with a team that communicates too, so my music shouldn't be too loud.

Man it's hard finding the good balance in the volume.

I don't profess to know the whole story, but what is it with the (what seems to me to be) overly-fragile, cry-bully mentality of the Node.js community and its various branches? The current mess is not the first time strongly opinioned, overly zealous loud-mouths have driven the ship.

Throughout the history of time, teams/groups of people have been made up of different characters. Some are nice, some aren't really and everyone has varied characteristics. There seems to be a drive to completely flatten the behaviour, beliefs and attitudes of any sort of gathering, and it makes me so mad. Some people are so obsessed with their ideas of equality, diversity, inclusivity and safe spaces that they can't see how negative and discriminating those attitudes actually are.

I fully accept that certain behaviours should not be tolerated and should be called out. And communities and societies will organically decide what those are.

But when you raise an issue, approach it like grown up and thrash it out to a resolution - don't throw your toys out of the pram and put on a real public show, targeting and scapegoating other individuals when you don't get your way! This is childish and narcissistic. If this is your only course of action, you should realise you haven't a strong argument.

I've ranted here before about how the mainly social media discussions on any subject drive us all to extreme ends. And this is just another example. It's wrong and narrow minded and not remotely progressive - the opposite of what those who should loudest claim to be.

Big Brand Company

Wasted 2 days on induction about what to do and how to do.

After 2 days, Reach at workplace and called my line manager (LM). after 2 3 calls, he pick the phone and said please reach to 3.2L5

Now what the heck is this term how the hell I know what means by this magical number. It was never told in the induction that what building name is denoted with.

Called LM again and now LM annoyed at me and said to enter into building and ask for XYZ person ..I asked whom I need to ask..He said ask anybody..

When I enter I ask a security guard there and he was like numb...There are fucking 5000 people in the company.How someone will know by name..Is that guy is superstar or something?

Again called the LM, Now he yelled at me. ..Why you are asking the security guard ..I said he do not allow me to enter so what I need to do..I requst him to please guide me as I am new and nervous here..

Again no luck ..Asked already 4 to 5 people..

Finally one guy who also joined with me, helped me to reach the guy.

LM was actually running late and when he reach, I came near to him 2 greet ans he again shouted with loud voice " What are you doing man"

#firstDay

!dev

I just had one guy coming back to the house at 4am, again, and he made his usual grand entrance, slamming the doors, stomping on the wooden floor making all the creaking sound as he walk all the way to his room, which is right beside mine. And when he went into the bathroom, which is on the other side of my room, he slammed he motherfucking lid on the toilet bowl which was so fucking loud I literally jumped out of bed. I ended up not being able to sleep (I have a lot of trouble falling asleep), and when I tried to sleep in the afternoon to catch up on the missed winks, another motherfucking bastard started blasting fucking hardcore electronics in the living room which is right below my room. The same bastard also plays loud movies or music at 2-3am. I’ve told that bastard that comes home late to watch his noise but man he only minds the noises I told him and nothing else. As for the other fucker, he’ll say he’d keep it down but continues doing what he’s doing anyway.

I moved here cause I know that it’s usually a quiet place and away from the party kids, but I somehow ended up with a party kid and an insensitive fucker (This motherfucker had the loudest sigh of frustration when I knocked politely on his door last night. Yes I calmed down before I talked to him, but ended up deciding to not utter a word at all when I hear that sigh).

I should move out, but I can’t find a place before next term cause it’s way too late at this point. I am on a lease, but my landlord understands my situation, and he seems okay with breaking the contract.

Having been here as an international student for almost 2 years now, and having moved 5 times, this has been the worst nightmare of a bunch of people to stay with.

For those that has read of me ranting about this elsewhere, yes it’s that same fucking bunch that doesn’t clean the house.

My friends do it for me, so does my wife.

It helps that my coworkers are my friends and they are devs, so there is that.

Other than that my phone would usually rang during the weekend nonstop with shit to do. I normally tend to stick to being at home with my wife and child.

My city is strange in that everyone and their mothers parties every weekend and people are usually friendly enough to involve everyone with anyone during the weekends. I like and dislike that (loud shit annoys me)

My dear boss is a weekend alcoholic, so there are null chances of making us go to work and if they do they let us chill during the work week.

Not only that, but the entire IT dpmnt is really friendly towards one another. We are one big happy family(we never fight with one another, not even the sys admins/network dudes.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I hated this day! Get out of bed to a direct fire and firefight all fucking day long, cook while firefighting, shit while firefighting, make dinner while firefighting and now I finally get to eat my fucking dinner without a laptop in front of me. I just want to scream FUUUUUUUCK so very loud but I'm a nice neighborhood. Fuck, shit cunt day. Fuck.

By the way, for anyone that gets a "lol" from me, I really mean I'm laughing out loud. I don't like being dishonest with these stuff.

Like when I'm in classes and message something funny to a classmate and he replies "rofl", I really expect him to be rolling on the floor laughing but fuck, he's there sitting with a perfect pose without even a smirk on his face. Next time you rofl at me, motherfucker, I expect you to be rolling in the floor. ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.

So appreciate my lols please. I mean them. I lol in the subway, my car, in classes and the bathroom. I'm sincere with them.

Let's call her Silvia.

Silvia debugs her code by whispering it out loud: "so if this variable is two, then..."

Everyone thinks Silvia is great. But she asks for help whenever she runs up against the simplest of problems: "I have never worked with this library/dependency before!"
(Well, that's kind of the nature of open source if you ask me.)

Silvia types with superbly heavy fingers, making sure we can hear every keystroke, especially when she hits return.

I think Silvia overcompensates for something.

When I was 6yo I was playing next to my dad with his old PC on a good old CRT a game called “Sperms” where you catch sperm with condoms and every time you do it made a really loud “YIPPIE” sound. I was playing this game for 4 years.

Somewhere around when I was 10 my dad told me we should build a PC and I was asking “Why does everyone has to make their own PC?”, I didn’t yet know what an cheap ass my dad is, so we did. Had a lot of fun and was very scared of the PSU, like really scared.

It blew up a few months later because I switched the toggle on the back from 220v to 110v, and got even more scared of PSU’s until I started an electricians apprentice.

Anyways, one day my dad and I where at a friends place and I played Tux Racer on his super loud Maschine that would crash if you kept the side door of the table closed, it ran some kind of Linux and I was fascinated how “simple and clean” it looks. I got a mini-cd to install it at home and immediately was hooked because the windows installation was such a pain in the arse those years. I did that all by myself just because I also wanted to play Tux Racer at home.

Anyways, somewhere right before GTA IV came out I started with VB.Net and ever since I was totally hooked and spend more time doing that than actually going to school.

My dad didn’t care and just let me do this, my mum just made sure I would have been up at least after the first lession, I don’t miss the bus and that I went to bed in a timely manner, which never happened because the PC was in my room and my mum slept downstairs and couldn’t notice that I was doing script kiddie things after an hour or so of “sleeping”.

So yeah, they didn’t care and were happy I didn’t annoy them.

Actually I didn’t wanted to become a developer because I always wanted to have it be a hobby or something and I liked woodwork more, but then people more qualified than me were more stupid than this script kiddie that still just wanted to play Tux Racer. That’s it.

Of course, I just swiped the wrong way on my fucking laptop trackpad and list everything I just typed. FUCKING MARVELOUS.

TL;DR: Teacher stopped me from being productive. Principal almost called cops on me. Nearly threw chair at librarian.

So I'm at school yesterday, and we have a presenter in 2nd hour, so naturally, I'm gonna be on my computer doing things for other classes at the same time. Efficiency. Teacher doesn't like it, I refuse to put the computer away telling her that I'll be more productive and still pay attention, which HAS BEEN PROVEN MIND YOU, but she ends up calling security on me and I get sent down to the principal's office.

I talk to him, and he says 'Yeah, I know it's in the way, but you have to follow the directive given by the teachers.' Fine, fuck it. Won't go to her class for third hour. (I have her twice in a row for two different classes.) Next day.

I walk in, asking her if she's gonna do the same thing she did yesterday, hoping that she realized her error and will fix it, but no. She says I STILL can't have the computer out. I'm sorry, do you not realize I have 6 other fucking classes, most of which are required to graduate, unlike YOURS, as well as a FUCKING COLLEGE CLASS TONIGHT?! She gives the ultimatum. 'Obey or leave.' Fine, I'll leave. I go to the principal's office again, he must have a stick up his ass or something today because he's not budging. We argue for a while and he gives a WORSE ultimatum: 'Obey, Go to the Library, In House Suspension, or I'll call the police.' What the actual FUCK MAN?! You're gonna call the POLICE on a NONVIOLENT STUDENT?! Are you fucking MAD? I keep trying to tell him that there's an easy solution to this, but as he's getting up to call the cops, I say 'Fine! I'll go to the library!' He follows me over to make sure I don't kill anyone on the way.

I slam the door to the library open, and when I walk in, the librarian is there at her computer, and she asks 'Where are you coming from?' 'Principal!' 'I need a pass-' 'Well, I'm sorry, I can't exactly get anything for you right now, I was just sent down here.' She says 'Either way, I need some kind of note or pas-' 'Listen, I'm not in the mood for any of this right now. Please, just leave me be.' She then tries to say something, but I cut her off quickly, 'Just back off and leave me alone right now. The more you push it, the more you're gonna make me want to throw this chair!' Imagine the volume just gradually getting louder on that last one. She quickly runs out and talks to the security desk or something, which is right outside the library door, but she's the only one who comes in, thankfully. I was expecting to be fucking dragged out for no good reason. I'm loud, not violent. I have no history of violence.

So yeah. Here I am in the school library, angrily tapping away at my keyboard, trying not to throw the entire table to the fucking moon. All because this broken-ass public school system has no idea how to deviate from the norm when it's actually productive and efficient to do so. And now, the obligatory:

FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT WHY DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG IN EVERY SINGLE THING YOU ARE DOING YOU IDIOTIC SCUM-FILLED MEAT SACKS OF NO FORSEEABLE VALUE! FUCK!

A quick rant during work.
I like my coworkers, I really do but they've been so annoying the past few days ever since one of them bought a small nerf gun. Now three others have one too and they're constantly shooting at each other. They bought one of these nerf guns that you have to pull at the bottom to load it and they're pretty loud when you want to work.
I swear to god I'll go home and work from there if that continues

So just babbling my shit down here.

(Tldr : i am a crazy guy who followed my half slept brain, went onto a stage , gave some kind of motivating , stammering talk to a large group of professional strangers, enjoyed that day with a red embarrassed face and just got my first pic of me speaking on stage and that is so awesome !)

Last Saturday i went to a gdg meetup and i embarrassed the hell out of me.

I went there with just 2 hours of sleep from the previous night.
After a few talks there comes a guy who is taking some time to install is setup and the host calls for lightning round session ( ie he asks if anyone from the audience would like to share something about their product or something).

I am a fucking nutt guy. I can explain something to you nicely in a hacky way as long as i have done enough work on that and you speak my native language.

But giving a talk on English stage, hell no! I stammer, mix hindi with English and start speaking werd shit.. And that's what happened.

I don't know what went into me but as some guy went to the stage and talked for 2 mins, i was like yeah i want to do that too. So in next turn when he asked for a show of hands, i raised mine and fucking went to stage!

I forgot that if you go on stage you should have something to talk to . But the moment i was on stage, i was like... "Nope, we will do this differently".
I had been working on a video ads module from the last week which could be easily explained in 2 mins. But i felt like giving a non techy talk instead.

It went something like this: i introduced myself with my experience details ( who gives experience details on stage !?!) Then host said to speak loudly and i went like "Bharat mata ki jai!"( Victory to mother india (wtf!?😆) .

Then started talking about how the developers feel disheartened when searching on internet where the resources are scattered . And the solution i told them was :"don't be disheartened. You will eventually find it (like wow dude wtf, as if they didn't knew that) . Look on the youtube and other resources " and then went full on explaining/marketing about some online tutor who gives advice/consultancy via a subscription based payment ( tbf that guy really helped solve a lot of my doubts, he has written books on Android dev and is the top so answerer for Android).

Then i went on sharing my thoughts live on that fuckin stage ! ( Live because i usually post my thoughts here on devrant before discussing them out with real people, you guys are my safe space) but there i discussed my thoughts on libraries!

I have this believe that Android devs these days are having lesser knowledge of the system because we have all the libraries and templates available to us. But when we have to customize stuff, we need to go deep into docs and source classes and find ourselves in trouble there. So i kind of said this out loud and that we should try to read more the code and implement stuff ourselves instead of using the library 😅🙈)

I was feeling so fucking embarrassing after that all stuff! It was so full of stammering , broken English and worst attempt at motivation. At that time i was regretting this and about to burst cry and run away, but somehow i gathered my self, got my mood back to the event games and talks, later went to the organizers and apologized(and they were very nice and didn't cared about it), and overall enjoyed my weirdest day!

When i came home, my mom gave me a little more confidence about it. Now i think i shouldn't be that much instinctive. Next day i went hack to work and everything got normal.

But Yesterday i found a link to the public repository of the photos. Ohh fuck, someone had took my image! and that was too in full hd!!! 🙈🙈🙈😅😆😆 Oh mann I can't stop looking at that cool stage speaker image, i love it ! I, the shy-est and the most uncool awkward person , present on the stage with a mike, oof , i think i lived my dream !

I hope i could get enough confidence and speaking skills to take a real stage talk next time ( and maybe enough interesting talks and confidence to talk with girls of our office, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Worst fight was at a former job. I complained about a senior-level employee who made unprofessional comments about me.

I asked followup questions about a request. I was told the request was correct. Turns out the other employee half read/didn’t read my question because she decided I was trying to cause trouble. When my boss reviewed my work and asked why it looked weird, other employee actually wrote in the JIRA comments “Oh, my apologies. I thought [name] was question the request. [name] changed the wrong thing.” She said the silent part out loud. And the wrong thing she accused me of changing…the website always looked like that and my boss told her so. (Also, not the first time she forgot what the website looked like.) But my boss didn’t make any JIRA comment about the “questioning the request” part.

My boss was really downplaying what had happened. Like other employee just made a mistake. That wasn’t a mistake. He wasn’t going to bring it up with other employee’s boss. It was weird because the incident was a written conversation so it was really hard to deny the facts. I also had the original email notification in case she tried to go back and change her comment. I think my boss either wasn’t used to defending his direct reports or didn’t have the power to do so since most of his department (including me) was slated for layoffs in a few months.

Well, I got the last laugh. A week later, I received an offer. I put in my notice during the company’s busiest time of year. And my boss actually asked me to extend my notice by three weeks. Really?! Expecting me to forgive and forget that whole “questioning the request” incident. I stuck with my original date.

Every time I read someone reply to a post with "lol" I stop for a moment and imagine myself actually laughing out loud to that post. I've got to say, only under ~1% of such posts were actually worth lol'ing. Other times laughing out loud to whatever is there would be retarded at best.

So either I'm a bum with only notions of a sense of humour OR there are far too many retards laughing out loud to basically anything.

Or perhaps there are too many idiots who use 'lol' without knowing what it means.
Or those people so desperately want others' attention that they lie to others pretending to like what they say/do/write by saying "what you did there made me feel so good that I burst in loud laughter".

This is stupid.

If you don't laugh OUT LOUD - then don't say that you do.
If you are not in immediate danger threatening to your life - then don't say you are LITERALLY DYING.

FFS, is it THAT hard?

My 2009 ThinkStation has been running loud for a couple of years now, reaching temps in the 70s-80s at max load (40s idle) with stock settings, fans spinning like jet engines to try to cool it. Only recently (today) did I consider that maybe there's dust stuck somewhere, so I took the fan off my cooler and began the hunt there.

IT WAS FUCKING COVERED. Half of the fin intake area behind the fan was completely clogged up with dust. I was starving the poor thing and I never figured out why until now.

I deep-cleaned the entire system, and now it's running a gentoo install with all cores maxed running compiler tasks... Fans are much quieter, barely above idle noise, the main difference is just pitch of the noise because of the higher RPMs.

I dont have the firmware installed to measure temps, but I will update once I get that data.

Specs, in case anybody is curious:

> Xeon W3520 4c/8t 2.67Ghz
> 8GB DDR3 1066MHz
> RX 460 2GB (my student-budget upgrade)
> Dual 500/750GB HDD

My 1300€ Thinkpad is just a noisy and sometimes annoying laptop. It is sometimes so loud that my colleague is pissed off.

It is almost four years old and dust cleaning did not help...
I am so pissed off by this behaviour i am actually thinking of selling it and buying a macbook.......

Oh oh. Dude who use to sit next to me who didn't seem to be able to chew at a normal volume. It was so so so loud. 😷😷

Dear bluetooth headset,
I know your battery is low, thanks for the notice. I have 1 hour work left, after that you will get your charge. I also know you underestimate your own power and can do more than an hour on reserve.

So suck it up and stop being a whiny bitch blaring your damn "battery low"-beeps into my ears. It's way too loud and beeping every 10 seconds will only strain your power reserves and my nerves.

Yours sincerely,
dev13

So, I've been reading all this complaints about micro services which started to be loud thanks to the mad CEO of Twitter.
Keep reading but I am curious about your opinion as well

To me all the point of micro services has never been about improving the speed, in fact it might have a negative impact on the performances of an application. I think that given the calculation power we have nowdays, it's not a big deal

However on the other side, it makes all the rest so much easier.
When there's a problem on one service, I can just debug the given service without spending hours starting a huge slow turtle
If something goes down, it doesn't make unhealthy the whole app, and if I am lucky it's not gonna be a critical service (so very few people will be pissed).
I have documentation for each of them so it's easier to find what I am looking for.
If I have to work on that particular service, I don't have to go through thousands of tangled lines of code unrelated to each other but instead work on an isolated, one-purpose service.
Releasing takes minutes, not hours, and without risk of crashing everything.

So I understand the complaint about the fact that it's making the app run slower but all the rest is just making it easier.

Before biting my ass, I am not working at Twitter, I don't know the state of their application (which seems to be extremely complicated for an app deigned to post a bit of text and a few pictures), but in a company with skilled people, and a well designed architecture.

Sometime my code is so wrong that I can almost hear the mother of algorithm crying out loud.

I just want to remove that piece of code from my project....no, from my mind, my life.

!dev

DISCLAIMER: don’t read before going to sleep!

~23.15 power cut, street wide. Solved by switching back plong.

23.48 : I heard multiple times a loud sound, like if someone is trying to break a window or so. So, get out of room, go to hall, light is on there. Continue, ready with phone to call 112. Reaches living, kitchen. Finds grandfather that’s fixing something.

EDIT: 00:19 The water installation started one again I felt scared....

Awesome start of the vacation lol

Maybe I should just go to sleep.

To be honest, I was really scared after that power cut that this was a real thing. Fortunately it wasn’t... That once again proves the developer life, working at night, can be hard.

FUCK! I am so fed up with these loud mouths?
How do you deal with such morons ?

So my worst experience with a project manager was this:

New changes to the system came in, and i was the developer of android frontend back then
So he's shouting at me like 'why is dis so slow, why deez delayed, why those render misaligned on the orbitrary tablet, etc.'
So we finish in like an hour, he walk away back to his office, I went to smoke, came back, oh hey, I wanna go to the toilet
And back then at that place we had a small one person WC, so when someone was there, anyone else would have to stand outside the cabin
So I come next to it, oh, fuck, occupied, and I hear ridiculously loud and echo-y splashes of pure solid shit hitting the water surface)
A min later the thunderstorm was over, the door opens, and my PM rushes out, sees me, stops (I was in his way) and gives me a deathstare for a quick second. Awkward moment's over, he walks around me, but I just could not keep my mouth shut, so I said aloud

"Well, no wonder"

Me walking down the corridors of my building after hours, singing full on out loud (I can actually sing)

Lyrics(by yours truly homage to Mika)
I wanna talk to you!
The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears
I promise you it won't happen again!
Do I attract you? Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty? Am I too flirty? Do I like what you like?
I could be wholesome, I could be loathsome, I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me without making me try?

Some voice at the other side of the building: "who is there singing???!"

Me:
"I tried to be like Grace Kelly!!"
"but all her looks are too sad"
"so I tried a little Freddy MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
"I've gone identity maaaaaaaaaaaad"

then I walked inside of my office and stopped spooking the janitors. Really wish someone would join in and helped me sing the high note parts of the song really. I've got no audience here smfh

On the MSc I was participating in, there is a teacher that has a lesson about Databases.

The MSc was not only for experience computer science students. We were informed that the first semester would be as an introduction to all.

So, Databases. No introduction at all. Just read the powerpoint and the pdf he had just translated (or not, because some were just from the internet), just refers to how they are structured briefly. He showed everything about Databases without the students that didn't know much to be involved (we didn't get to our lab for some reason) and then there was his assignment.

His assignment was written as it would be from a customer that knows shit about Databases (sorry but I had to rant). We sat down student's that knew already Databases and some of us worked as database engineers. We agreed on some steps that after read the next chapter of the assignment we reconfigured them. And so on, until we had nothing and we were back at the beginning.

Needless to say, I did not lose my Christmas holidays for him. It took me 2 days after to build a database that was not a full solution but a part (I wad noy sure, the assignment was ambiguous). I passed the lesson with the minimum passable grade.

So, I wrote a nice email to the MSc teacher that had to organize it (or something like that). I did not swear at all. I was professional and wrote what I encountered and what it should have been. The Databases teacher had always that smirk and face that he was THE boss and had no respect for his own lesson. But I didn't mention it. The organizing teacher shared the email with the databases teacher.

And the time came that we had another lesson (web development, it was awful under him) with the databases teacher. And he had the wonderful idea to read the email out loud in front if everyone. He did noy mention my name. I raised my hand and told my colleagues it was me. Then I asked him in front of them, if he was contented with the results (only a few passed the databases lesson and max grade was the smallest passable), first he avoided the question. I asked again. And he said yes. We all looked at each other and somehow knew. No one spoke and I didn't push because I didn't want to take the web lesson's hours for this. It was just hopeless.

From there on, the teachers said we were their best class ever but the most complaining one. They didn't even bother to analyze the "complaints".

So, there you go. One of the lot of those teachers.

I have co workers who laugh at me everytime I discuss to them how we should create clean code. (create functions for repeating code, naming conventions, generic code).

They would brag instead how they make another javascript ui library/plugin work(we are web developers by the way). Looks good in the front end but a mess in the backend.

I already created generic classes, generic database views that can be used by them if they want. But they create a new one with the same functionality.

I am a bit of a shy guy, and they are bit of loud, and I don't want to look like a know-it-all-guy, so I just let them do what they want.

I am just concerned how we can work easier by easily reading each others code.

So glad i moved from a desktop PC to a laptop for development. I still have 2 workstations (one at home and one at work) with 3 screens, mechanical keyboard + mouse. But if i ever have to demo to a client/PM i just un-dock and take my laptop to them. Plus if the office is loud i just go to another room.

My first exposure to computers was when i was 7 in 98. Hp Palvillion with windows 98. Got it from walmart and it cost around $1100. Brought it home and i hooked it up on my own on the living room floor. First program installed was "who wants to be a millionare", fitting that a game be the first thing installed since it was for homework. I lived 16 miles from town at the time so i really had no friends and the isolation made it hard for me to adjust in school to the point that i was a loud kid seeking attention. Then we got dialup and i found invisionfree forums which my first programing experiance with javascript started. And no I'm not talking about jquery I'm talking about the real thing.

Fast foward a year. I find an opensource arcade and learn php while writting an arcade from scratch that uses curl to mitm login to verify the user. Later that month i create a small project that dynamicly creates a signature image for the top 1000 posters on a coding forum i liked.

Then all hell broke loose when i found osdev.org, thought i was going to be a badass and make the ultimate operating system that would combine linux, windows, and mac where it could run anything. Reality Check hit me like a semi and train hitting at full force trying that and made me look into hacking. Spent alittle while breaking windows in so many ways and talking to others on irc until i was about to turn 18. Switched to ubuntu 12.04 my senior year while that was occuring.

I just want to like fucking push all this shit out from my desk and throw things I'm so angry right now i can't seem to start what I need to do today like I'm fucking paralysed

And shit seems to be happening like ghosts, literally things falling when I haven't even touched them pc being really fucking loud etc

In the lab:
"Look! I have compiled and that gave me no errors! On the first try!"
So I look closer and
"Dude, ehm.., you are compiling the wrong file..."
Then he tries to compile the right class and the compiler returned errors on errors
"You know what? I hate you."
Never laughed that loud

I don't know how many of you have faced this but fuck college student entrepreneurs!
Every one of these fuckers is all about the hustle and the grind which mainly involves them sitting on their ass and approaching me with ideas that they think will revolutionize the world
AND WHY'RE ALL YOUR IDEAS CENTERED AROUND SOCIAL NETWORKS? DO I LOOK LIKE FREAKIN ZUCKERBERG (I probably bombed the spelling but IDC)
I decided to work on a project (can't disclose any information cause the idiot had me sign a paper or some shit) and they gave me and 2 other devs a task of creating FUCKING ANGELLIST
look man, could be an easy task for your "business team" of 7 to give that task but do you really expect me to work with 2 loud mouthed freshmen who don't know shit and give you a finished product? I DONT THINK SO

I'm at a hospital waiting and the tv is so loud so I thought I'd find a remote app to turn it down.

I found this app, one with no ads but look at all the damn permissions it needs....

What the hell,

Anyone know a good remote app that doesn't want to steal my identity?

Having another dev that sits near you never mute the video conference you're on - with the volume up so loud YOU COULD HEAR IT FROM SPACE! (Imagine Lewis Black ranting this)

Some humans are calm and thoughtful, some annoyingly complicated, while others with behaviours too difficult to comprehend.
I got a call from the office (former from 6 months ago) and it's from the G.M herself.

** Phone rings **
Hmm see who's calling...

Me: * Picks up phone and set it on loud speaker, so my partner can also listen *

Me: Hello Ma

G.M: Hey (calls me by my full name)

Me: It's really nice to he...

G.M: Why would you move the YETI server hosted on AWS to Azure! We have been faced with lots of challenges ever since and that has cost the company a lot.

Me: Pardon me Ma, but that...

G.M: That is a very bad and unacceptable behaviour from you and I can have the company sue you for this.

Me: Excuse me Ma, but...

G.M: I have spoken with the director of C.M.D quaters (A sister company) and explained the situation on ground about what you did before leaving without having any prior permission. What nonsense!

** At this point my partner let's call her "CC"... was more confused than me**

CC : **Panicking** Who's that? What did you do? I thought you said you no longer work at that firm, what's going on?

Now I'm confused cus I don't even know who to reply.

Me: **Signals CC to calm the fuck down**

G.M: ** Still talking and spitting out millions of threats to the guy who left the company with evil deeds in mind...**

CC who literally hates suspense and also a half cool and half crackhead kind of person... Tries stealing the phone from me so she could pour out whatever is on her mind to the caller because of how disgusted she felt, mostly for reasons I quite understood but nevertheless i kept the phone far from her reach while we both enjoyed the suiting voice of *a threat giver*

Honestly at this point my closest guess was "Joe, who must have fucked up big time" because Joe is the company's SysAdmin and has a lot of fucked up records (One time Joe tried to convert all system OSes to Linux even with our hydra servers with pre-installed windows running smoothly, his action caused a noticeable server down-time all for the reason of Joe being a Linux freak). He and only he has the power to transfer/switch/off/on servers at will. I really don't know what Joe must have done but sure thing is there is a fuck up somewhere.
Talking about me, I was only a developer enthroned only within his desk and secondly I no longer worked there. Who fucking calls a retired soldier about a lost battle after six freaking months later! Just fucking sink with your ship captain!

But how can I explain all of this to G.M without implicating Joe and also not look like snitch, I thought to myself.

While I was pondering within myself and the call which has long been disconnected, CC broke the silence.

CC: Giddy, Can you honestly explain me why your old company is calling talking about lawyers and suing you? Have you been lying to me about your work?

Me: *Explained the situation to CC*

CC: But why was she that saucy and acting a bitch? You should have spare me a minute with her.

Me: She wouldn't let me speak but we good CC. We good.
The woman that just called is the G.M. of the firm I had formerly worked with and she's also the wife to the M.D of the same firm which was my former direct Boss whom I respect a lot. Having a disjunct with the wife can also affect the relationship with the husband, which I don't want to lose. So we cool!

Maybe I should text her or maybe not... But before then
** Another call comes in **
It's her again.

GM: Hello Giddy (Sounding calm)

Me: (WTF. She called me by my first name and also sounds cool... More confused than a stray dog) ...Yeah Hello

GM: I just called to let you know that my accusation was wrong because I was misinformed. Joe Nosa was in charge on Systems but why didn't you correct me on that during our last conversation?

Me: ... 😲

CC: (Drags the phone) Hello and Good morning whosoever...

G.M: Sorry who am I speaking with?

CC: (Introduced herself) I overheard your last conversation with Giddy, and I demand you appogise to him both in written and in verbal because not only did you accused him falsely, you also almost bridge the trust between us which may have cost the relationship.

Me: ...
** Long awkward silence **

G.M: Hey Giddy, I'm sorry. Just angry about what went down recently.

Me: All good ma'am

CC: ** Hangs up **

A little story which happened my SECOND day on the floor after getting hired to do customer-facing phone support for my current job (can't mention the name, NDA). Customer from Detroit calls in:
Me: "Thank you for calling (company), my name is Guru, how can I assist you?"
C: "Uhhh, yeah. I need to get back into my ID. I can't backup my tablet or phone, and y'all are kinda holding my data host-" <Loud gunshots>
C: "oh! Shit!" <sound of running feet>
Me: "Everything OK sir?"
C: "Fuck! Naw! Hang on!" <more running, jumps a fence, skids to a stop>
C: "Ok, I'm safe, I'm safe... So what I gotta do to get y'all to let me back into my shit?"
*MUTE* Me: "First of all, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me when you should be either A) calling the cops because, I dunno, just maybe some trouser stain is attempting to kill you, or, B) FIRING BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!!"
*REAL* Me: "OK, first you gotta… (outlines step 1,2,3... etc)
C: "OK, that sounds easy enough. I'll try it when I get to the office, I'm on my way there now- shit. Hold on again..."
(talking to someone on the street): "what, him? That dude? Over there? That dude... In the shirt?What the fuck!? Are you sure? Hold on, sir! I'ma call you back..."
Last thing I hear before the line lets go is a large BOOM!

Sometimes it's best to just sit back and sip your coffee...

So this week I picked up some Sennheiser HD 600 phones for my listening pleasure and take my mind off life stresses.

At work I've been using some Bose phones, but these Senns being open back may be a little loud for the neighboring cubicles.

I guess sound quality and all day use are mutually exclusive. Anyways, what's coding without some great indie tunes. :)

BTW, they sound amazing!!

Tech people should have a codeword. So that I don't have to explain to every data provider showing off their own crappy limited analytics tool that "I do know what SQL means and I just need the ODBC user/pass, thanks".

I wish I could just say "hey, &0x00A0 = 1337;" out loud and he would be like "oh, thanks! I needed the break. Here is the ODBC crap, I'm gonna grab some coffee."

def best and worst dev experience from 2016 was a 4 week advanced dev boot camp for work. it was a smaller classroom with about 20 experienced devs in it. it was bright in there. a lot of strong minds backed by strong opinions and even loud voices at times, these are devs after all(so picture that for 1 month straight, 8 hr days). first 2 weeks was all new stuff. it was like a waterfall on head. I kept getting paired with weakest person in the camp for the weekly clone projects which didn't help matters for me or her. after the second week I started to grasp what we were doing and they started mixing up the groups. by the last week most everyone in the camp had learned so much, we had come so far we all kinda bonded through the experience. the final projects Imo were all very impressive. we were all pretty proud of ourselves I'd say. I never learned so much in such a short period of time. immersive training is the only way to go. those week long standard lecture lab workbook tech training courses are weak!! u wanna learn something, u gotta get in there and get dirty with it.

Alright, my very first post here was about this project and I am thinking it out loud again.

I see a problem and I am struggling to find a solution.

Now what I am thinking of is to articulate the problem well and state WHY I believe it needs to be solved. There are some reasons which must be presented in a capitalist way.

Furthermore, I am thinking of doing a market research to understand various demographics, validate the idea, and figure out the product-market fit.

Now, this qualitative research and quantitative data will help me decide whether it is worth putting in the efforts to solve the problem or not.

And since, we have an MVP already (funnily yes, we built it before all of the above), that will help me validate the tangible solution.

Once we get a confidence boost, then it will be time to get that single transaction which has net positive cash flow.

Start scaling to 'next billion users', so a billion transaction with net positive cash flow.

I won't be branching out into multiple verticals before be able to sustainably scale the core USP.

And while the second half sounds like, 'I have a million dollar idea', I am trying to be more and more realistic and rationale instead of falling in love with my idea.

I don't even have an idea (read solution) to fall in love with. Rather I have a problem that is bothering me.

So, yes, I am continuing this journey to solve the problem which started in second year of my hostel room and has evolved over 10 years.

Why did I ever move to a cubicle in a more densely populated area? (>_<)

So many people constantly talking. It's like it's a requirement to be loud to be on this floor!

I remember that when I was about 8 years old, my dad brought a desktop computer home one day.

I don’t remember any specs, but it had a huge ass CRT monitor, a very loud clicky keyboard, a mouse with a real ball inside, and a CPU that uses floppy discs and CDs. Nope, CDs, not DVDs. And on that computer, it ran Windows 95. There’s was no internet most of the time (it was still quite expensive and unnecessary and dial up was troublesome to set up back then).

I remembered playing bootlegged games sold in CDs that my dad bought during his trips to China back then. Duke nukem, Command and Conquer Red Alert 2, Microsoft solitaire and GTA 3. Those were the games I played.

As a kid, it was glorious, looking through a box on a table, seeing and interacting with so many different worlds, stories, characters and games. I really miss those simpler times.

These days, every time I open my laptop, and I see that new mail that need to be dealt with, that homework that’s about to be due and a reminder of my next class in 15 min. Well shit.

// I could not post it yesterday coz #devrant

Am I the only person here who really but really started to hate fireworks?

Everyone is shooting, I can't even play because it is so loud outside and do not try to open windows coz you will die from poisoning in seconds...

!Rant
So I was reassigned from Android to backend a month ago...

Meaning a poor lonely Nexus 5 was just sitting collecting dust...

Saturday night and what do I do?
Go out like a normal person?
*Laughs way too loud*
Nahhhh let's do a pwnie install and start snooping on neighbors!!!

I don't know if someone has noticed but I haven't been on DevRant lately. It's not that the community is awesome. In the last month or two, I've had a blast of an experience here. I've just been avoiding screens, specifically texts in screens. I think something snapped on my head last week. Here's why:

As I've said in other rants/comments, I study history, and at the moment, I haven't found any career that has to read more than this one. Sometimes I've had to read about 1200 pages in less than three days. Last week I had to read 6 books which accounted for about 3500 pages. I was actively reading more than 600 pages a day. Now, this was for an investigation, and each of these reads had to be properly summarised with their respective arguments, thesis, etc. So I intensely read everything before Thursday, the day in which I had to present my work, in which I referenced about 10 books.

Apart from that, daily, I spent 4 hours coding. That's been the minimum I've done daily since I started learning.

I wasn't too tired. I'm used to read a lot, and coding is always fun. But the problem came in Friday when I woke up with a strange headache that spanned from my eyes to the back of my ears. Hurting especially on the sides of my forehead.

It eventually dissipated, but whenever I read something, the ache slowly came back. Loud noises and bright lights also brought it back. So you could imagine, everytime I tried to read a Rant, comment, etc, the headache came back. The same for coding and reading. For fucks sake I feel like I'm fucking crippled.

And no, the pain isn't the worst. Pain is pain and you can't do anything about it. The worst is that I'm developing some anxiety here. In all this time I have been learning daily nonstop. Coding was something I craved for everyday. Now I'm fucking wasting entire days in non-productive activities. I'm losing my fucking time here guys!

I'm afraid I have some anxiety problem with time. I've already fucking wasted entire years, now I don't want to continue wasting them and push my goals further away, I want to get to my goals as soon as I can because time and life can't be stopped and once time is lost, you can't fucking get it back. And, considering I'm still 21, I do notice this feeling is somehow irrational, but for fucks sake, I'm wasting fucking LIFE :(

The Joe Rogan Experience. Sometimes I just need to hear someone else thinking out loud so I don't have to do it for myself. Plus, who else is going to remind me that:

“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”
- Joe Rogan

After brute forced access to her hardware I spotted huge memory leak spreading on my key logger I just installed. She couldn’t resist right after my data reached her database so I inserted it once more to duplicate her primary key, she instantly locked my transaction and screamed so loud that all neighborhood was broadcasted with a message that exception is being raised. Right after she grabbed back of my stick just to push my exploit harder to it’s limits and make sure all stack trace is being logged into her security kernel log.
Fortunately my spyware was obfuscated and my metadata was hidden so despite she wanted to copy my code into her newly established kernel and clone it into new deadly weapon all my data went into temporary file I could flush right after my stick was unloaded.
Right after deeply scanning her localhost I removed my stick from her desktop and left the building, she was left alone again, loudly complaining about her security hole being exploited.
My work was done and I was preparing to break into another corporate security system.
- penetration tester diaries

It's been a while since I started my first python course on Udemy.

I feel the urge to rant because as I'm leaning more and more and getting increasingly more interested in the subject, the instructor's tone is getting sloppier and sloppier and the quality of the videos is increasingly worse. Really, the videos are so blurred that I cannot read what the guy writes, so I have to turn the captions on hoping that he says out loud everything he types.

Fuck.