Good Morning!, its time for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!

Todays contestant is a very special one.

*sitcom audience: WHY?*

Glad you asked, you see if you were to look at his linkedin profile, you would see a job title unlike any you've seen before.

*sitcom audience oooooooohhhhhh*

were not talking software developer, engineer, tech lead, designer, CTO, CEO or anything like that, No No our new entrant "G" surpasses all of those with the title ..... "Software extraordinaire".

*sitcom audience laughs hysterically*

I KNOW!, wtf does that even mean! as a previous dev-ranter pointed out does this mean he IS quality code? I'd say he's more like a trash can ... where his code belongs

*ba dum tsssss*

Ok ok, lets get on with the show, heres some reasons why "G" is on the show:

One of G's tasks was to build an analytics gathering library for iOS, similar to google analytics where you track pages and events (we couldn't use google's). G was SO good at this job he implemented 2 features we didn't even ask for:

- If the library was unable to load its config file (for any reason) it would throw an uncatchable system integrity error, crashing the app.
- If anything was passed into any of the functions that wasn't expected (null, empty array etc.) it would crash the app as it was "more efficient" to not do any sanity checks inside the library.

This caused a lot of issues as some of the data needed to come from the clients server. The day we launched the app, within the first 3 hours we had over 40k crash logs and a VERY angry client.

Now, what makes this story important is not the bugs themselves, come on how many times have we all done something stupid? No the issue here was G defended all of this as the right thing to do!

.. and no he wasn't stoned or drunk!

G claimed if he couldn't get the right settings / params he wouldn't be able to track the event and then our CEO wouldn't have our usage data. To which I replied:

"So your solution was to not give the client an app instead? ... which also doesn't give the CEO his data".

He got very angry and asked me "what would you do then?". I offered a solution something like why not have a default tag for "error" or "unknown" where if theres an issue, we send up whatever we have, plus the file name and store it somewhere else. I was told I was being ridiculous as it wasn't built to track anything like that and that would never work ... his solution? ... pull the library out of the app and forget it.

... once again giving everyone no data.

G later moved onto another cross-platform style project. Backend team were particularly unhappy as they got no spec of what needed to be done. All they knew was it was a single endpoint dealing with very complex model. There was no Java classes, super classes, abstract classes or even interfaces, just this huge chunk of mocked data. So myself and the lead sat down with him, and asked where the interfaces for the backend where, or designs / architecture for them etc.

His response, to this day frightens me ... not makes me angry, not bewilders me ... scares the living shit out of me that people like this exist in the world and have successful careers.

G: "hhhmmm, I know how to build an interface, but i've never understood them ... Like lets say I have an interface, what now? how does that help me in any way? I can't physically use it, does it not just use up time building it for no reason?"

us: "... ... how are the backend team suppose to understand the model, its types, integrate it into the other systems?"

G: "Can I not just tell them and they can write it down?"

**
I'll just pause here for a moment, as you'll likely need to read that again out of sheer disbelief
**

I've never seen someone die inside the way the lead did. He started a syllable and his face just dropped, eyes glazed over and he instantly lost all the will to live. He replied:

" wel ............... it doesn't matter ... its not important ... I have to go, good luck with the project"

*killed the screen share and left the room*

now I know you are all dying in suspense to know what happened to that project, I can drop the shocking bombshell that it was in fact cancelled. Thankfully only ~350 man hours were spent on it

... yep, not a typo.

G's crowning achievement however will go down in history. VERY long story short, backend got deployed to the server and EVERYTHING broke. Lead investigated, found mistakes and config issues on every second line, load balancer wasn't even starting up. When asked had this been tested before it was deployed:

G: "Yeah I tested it on my machine, it worked fine"

lead: "... and on the server?"

G: "no, my machine will do the same thing"

lead: "do you have a load balancer and multiple VM's?"

G: "no, but Java is Java"

... and with that its time to end todays episode. Will G be our most incompetent? ... maybe.

Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

Designer x Developer gif

True that

No, I am not interested in working with you...

Boss: make this thing
Me: yeah no worries. Where is the spec?
Boss: We don't have enough one but we outsourced the design so call him

Designer: haven't started yet
Me: excellent

Boss: I'm going on holiday. I'll leave this to you.
Me: erm ok. I'm having a few problems getting stuff out of the designer though.

*2 weeks later and still no designs*

Boss: I'm back. Where is the progress?!
Me: indeed.

*1 week later i get half designs that sort of make sense*

Boss: hurry up!

*1 week later*

Me: designer you're busting my balls here
Designer: yeah lol

Me to boss: still having problems. No idea what I'm doing.
Boss: deal with it

*2 days later*
PM: we are demoing it to clients tomorrow
Me: brilliant. I'll become a magician then.

* Meeting goes well and no one notices the thing is a bit buggy*

*2 days later*
Me to boss and pm: you already know whats going on but I'll keep trying.
Boss: ok it's just a proof of concept anyway.
Designer: yeah here's the rest of the designs lol

*1 week later, the designs made no sense, no idea what they wanted but hey it's a proof of concept so I'll just do my best...*

*suddenly again, hey you have 1 week before we sell it. Lol. smashes a product together as fast as humanly possible, due to half designs and no time to do it right even html classes and CSS aren't right - didn't know things would be repeated at the time. No time to fix entire thing. Luckily just a proof of concept*

New senior developer: hey boss just said this is being sold tomorrow.
Me: wtf..It's a proof of concept and i was given longer...
New senior developer: no
Me: :(

Senior developer and all colleagues: it's full of bugs and doesn't work
Me: yes that will happen without specs, random tight deadlines, no designs that made sense and a total of about a week and a half to make an entire system for multiple user types to make applications, send messages, post jobs, handle all paperwork and move paperwork among different user types as they go through applications. I told everyone what was going on but i get no support...

*Silence*

Boss: wtf i gave you so long! All i know is my entire staff is working on a product that should be done ages ago
Me: ok, however i have said almost every day i need-
Boss: I'm not interested

*I finish my placement year and never get any promised work or the job offer*

Seems legit?

Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄

Life of a web developer:

*Birth*
*Create awesome looking websites*
*Make them look bad on clients request*
*Death*

The face of a developer when he makes the similar UI as mentioned in the png file given by designer and the designer points out some minor spacing issue

I think I've shown in my past rants and comments that I'm pretty experienced. Looking back though, I was really fucking stupid. Since I haven't posted a rant yet on the weekly topics, I figure I would share this humbling little gem.

Way back in the ancient era known as 2009, I was working my first desk job as a "web designer". Apparently the owner of this company didn't know the difference between "designer", which I'm not, and "developer", which I am, nor the responsibilities of each role.

It was a shitty job paying $12/hour. It was such a nightmare to work at. I guess the silver lining is that this company now no longer exists as it was because of my mistake, but it was definitely a learning experience I hold in high regard even today. Okay, enough filler...

I was told to wipe the Dev server in order to start fresh and set up an entirely new distro of Linux. I was to swap out the drives with whatever was available from the non-production machines, set up the RAID 5 array and route it through the router and firewall, as we needed to bring this Dev server online to allow clients to monitor the work. I had no idea what any of this meant, but I was expected to learn it that day because the next day I would be commencing with the task.

Astonishingly, I managed to set up the server and everything worked great! I got a pat on the back and the boss offered me a 4 day weekend with pay to get some R&R. I decided to take the time to go camping. I let him know I would be out of town and possibly unreachable because of cell service, to which he said no problem.

Tuesday afternoon I walked into work and noticed two of the field techs messing with the Dev server I built. One was holding a drive while the other was holding a clipboard. I was immediately called into the boss's office.

He told me the drives on the production server failed during the weekend, resulting in the loss of the data. He then asked me where I got the drives from for the Dev server upgrade. I told him that they came from one of the inactive systems on the shelf. What he told me next through the deafening screams rendered me speechless.

I had gutted the drives from our backup server that was just set up the week prior. Every Friday at midnight, it would turn on through a remote power switch on a schedule, then the system would boot and proceed to copy over the production server's files into an archive for that night and shutdown when it completed. Well, that last Friday night/Saturday morning, the machine kicked on, but guess what didn't happen? The files weren't copied. Not only were they not copied, but the existing files that got backed up previously we're gone. Why? Because I wiped those drives when I put them into the Dev server.

I would up quitting because the conversation was very hostile and I couldn't deal with it. The next week, I was served with a suit for damages to this company. Long story short, the employer was found in the wrong from emails I saved of him giving me the task and not once stating that machine was excluded in the inactive machines I could salvage drives from. The company sued me because they were being sued by a client, whose entire company presence was hosted by us and we lost the data. In total just shy of 1TB of data was lost, all because of my mistake. The company filed for bankruptcy as a result of the lawsuit against them and someone bought the company name and location, putting my boss and its employees out of a job.

If there's one lesson I have learned that I take with the utmost respect to even this day, it's this: Know your infrastructure front to back before you change it, especially when it comes to data.

Can't believe devRant is made by a single developer and a designer. BRAVO YOU TWO👏👏

No caption needed indeed !

I work in a company where I'm the only developer, with everyone being designers or marketing or sales. Typically like the scene from Silicon Valley.

Moto was to create a ticket selling website for their products, and make sure they worked as well. It was all fine, until deadlines were discussed. They wanted it done within 2 weeks, the entire backend dashboard, API and front end.

I told them it's almost impossible to do it, but they insisted on it. So, I made a minimal dashboard and told them, I haven't completed a few things, such as if you edit data in one place, it won't reflect in other tables. So, be careful while editing the data.

They nodded their head for everything, yesterday was site launch and 2 hours before that one bastard decided to changed the product names to something "catchy" but failed to change the same in other places.

I had used the name as foreign key, so querying other DBs became a fuck all issue, and eventually API stopped giving any response to front end calls.

I got extremely pissed, and shouted at that dude, for fucking everything up. He said, you're the tech guy and you should've taken all this into account.

I sat and hardcoded all the data into database again, made sure site is live. Once it was live, these guys call a company meeting and fire me saying I was incompetent in handling the stressful situation.

At that moment, I lost my shit and blasted each of those people. The designer started crying since her absurd designs(though great) couldn't be realised in CSS that too within 2 weeks time.

One of the worst experience for working for a company. I could've taken the website down, and told them to buzz off if they'd called, I couldn't get myself to do it, hence ranting here.

I seriously feel, all these tech noob HRs need to get a primer course on how to deal with problems of a programmer before they get to hire one, most of these guys don't know what we're trying to tell in itself.

I find devRant to be the only place where I can get someone to understand the issues that I face, hence ranted.

TL;DR: Coded ticket selling site in 2 weeks. 3 hours to launch, data entry dude fucks up. I clean all the mess, get the site online. Get fired as soon as that happens.

Live long and prosper. Peace.

I recently joined the dark side - an agile consulting company (why and how is a long story). The first client I was assigned to was an international bank. The client wanted a web portal, that was at its core, just a massive web form for their users to perform data entry.

My company pitched and won the project even though they didn't have a single developer on their bench. The entire project team (including myself) was fast tracked through interviews and hired very rapidly so that they could staff the project (a fact I found out months later).

Although I had ~8 years of systems programming experience, my entire web development experience amounted to 12 weeks (a part time web dev course) just before I got hired.

I introduce to you, my team ...

Scrum Master. 12 years experience on paper.
Rote memorised the agile manifesto and scrum textbooks. He constantly went “We should do X instead of (practical thing) Y, because X is the agile way.” Easily pressured by the client to include ridiculous (real time chat in a form filling webpage), and sometimes near impossible features (undo at the keystroke level). He would just nag at the devs until someone mumbled ‘yes' just so that he would stfu and go away.

UX Designer. 3 years experience on paper ... as business analyst.
Zero professional experience in UX. Can’t use design tools like AI / photoshop. All he has is 10 weeks of UX bootcamp and a massive chip on his shoulder. The client wanted a web form, he designed a monstrosity that included several custom components that just HAD to be put in, because UX. When we asked for clarification the reply was a usually condescending “you guys don’t understand UX, just do <insert unhandled edge case>, this is intended."

Developer - PHD in his first job.
Invents programming puzzles to solve where there are none. The user story asked for a upload file button. He implemented a queue system that made use of custom metadata to detect file extensions, file size, and other attributes, so that he could determine which file to synchronously upload first.

Developer - Bootlicker. 5 years experience on paper.
He tried to ingratiate himself with the management from day 1. He also writes code I would fire interns and fail students for. His very first PR corrupted the database. The most recent one didn’t even compile.

Developer - Millennial fratboy with a business degree. 8 years experience on paper.
His entire knowledge of programming amounted to a single data structures class he took on Coursera. Claims that’s all he needs. His PRs was a single 4000+ line files, of which 3500+ failed the linter, had numerous bugs / console warnings / compile warnings, and implemented 60% of functionality requested in the user story. Also forget about getting his attention whenever one of the pretty secretaries walked by. He would leap out of his seat and waltz off to flirt.

Developer - Brooding loner. 6 years experience on paper.
His code works. It runs, in exponential time. Simply ignores you when you attempt to ask.

Developer - Agile fullstack developer extraordinaire. 8 years experience on paper.
Insists on doing the absolute minimum required in the user story, because more would be a waste. Does not believe in thinking ahead for edge conditions because it isn’t in the story. Every single PR is a hack around existing code. Sometimes he hacks a hack that was initially hacked by him. No one understands the components he maintains.

Developer - Team lead. 10 years of programming experience on paper.
Writes spaghetti code with if/else blocks nested 6 levels deep. When asked "how does this work ?”, the answer “I don’t know the details, but hey it works!”. Assigned as the team lead as he had the most experience on paper. Tries organise technical discussions during which he speaks absolute gibberish that either make no sense, or are complete misunderstandings of how our system actually works.

The last 2 guys are actually highly regarded by my company and are several pay grades above me. The rest were hired because my company was desperate to staff the project.

There are a 3 more guys I didn’t mention. The 4 of us literally carried the project. The codebase is ugly as hell because the others merge in each others crap. We have no unit tests, and It’s near impossible to start because of the quality of the code. But this junk works, and was deployed to production. Today is it actually hailed as a success story.

All these 3 guys have quit. 2 of them quit without a job. 1 found a new and better gig.

I’m still here because I need the money. There’s a tsunami of trash code waiting to fail in production, and I’m the only one left holding the fort.

Why am I surrounded by morons?
Why are these retards paid more than me?
Why are they so proud when all they produce is trash?
How on earth are they still hired?

And yeah, FML.

Posture difference b/w developer and a designer😀

One of my first jobs as a Web Designer / Developer.

Boss had me update a WordPress site that the previous dude built. It had some pages that only members were meant to access.

These were listed on a navbar at all times. If the user clicked on them, a JS alert would show up telling the visitor to log in first.

That was the ONLY protection those pages had. No matter it was a WordPress-powered site, to begin. If you knew the URL or simply altered the code right there on the browser to remove the onclick-bound JS, you could get in.

And that was just the beginning of it. Eventually I convinced the boss to rebuild the site.

Recruiters and HR plz note there is difference between Web Developer and Web Designer... I repeat there is difference between Developer and Designer.

No words to say... The pic says it all...

Designer (to the client): Yes it'll be exactly like this mock up after I hand it over to the iOS developer.

Client: Awesome! Looking forward to it.

* Designer goes to developer *

Designer (to developer): Hey these are the new designs for the app, let me know if you have any questions, ok?

Developer: Cool.

* 1 minute later *
* developer goes to designer *

Developer (to designer): How should error messages or notifications look like?

Designer: Oh we should just email those because it won't look good.

Developer: The fuck? And are you going to design this email service too?

Why are Americans so stupid?

Date format: MM/dd/YY => what is this? It‘s not even in order

Length Units: Inch, Feet, Yard, Mile => good luck trying to convert in in a hurry without a calculator

Cooking recipes: cups, tablespoons, pinches => land of the freedom, especially for measurement errors

Temperature: Fahrenheit. => some dude who thought, „oh this is really hot, lets mark it 100“ and the other day „oh this is really cold, I got the 0 mark, sciene“

Weight: ounces ~ 28.34952 g, ton ~ maybe 907.xx kg, it depends

Time: Americans think the week starts on sunday, so they assume it does so for everyone else (f*** you american developer, designer, I mean you)

Football is football. Everywhere. In. The. World.

Politics: Trump, Weapons, health system, worker rights, ...

God, I hate America and their bs.

Front End programming is the worst of all worlds.

I am a Full Stack developer that during every interview says "i can do front end stuff if needed". Something gets lost in translation and becomes "I do only front end stuff".

I don't mind front end development, but i hate urgent nitpicking that happens every time. Everyone else on the team works by regular tasks and deliveries (sprints and release dates), but my work consists of being the brush of the creative mind of someone else, that could not figure out how to make a good design before sending it out to me.

I am not a designer, a designer job is a creative one, i am just a brush that the team uses to complain why this button looks wrong on this not designed platform.

*on call*
hr: hello , are you looking for a job change.
me : yes
hr: ok congo we have one opening for full stack developer
me : ok whats a jd?
hr : do you know reactjs?
me : yes
hr : do you know nodejs?
me : yes
hr : do you know bootstrap, jquery, photoshop, blender?
me : wait is it job for developer or graphic designer
hr : some time we give little task to our developer about editing photo and video
me : hmm intresting, I never tried blender but I can try if necessary. photoshop and other are ok for me
hr: that's great, we are looking for few more skills
me : ok
hr: . net and django

I started laughing😂😂😂😂

hr: what happened?
me: thank you for entertained me today, day was really rough.

I am a back-end developer, never suggested otherwise. My company is a firm of 50 people and owner hired a web designer to code our website. And it got hacked. Badly. So boss tells me to check if I can fix it. I take a look at the PHP and boy, written in PHP3, copy paste code from all over the place, hell the admin panel is a clone from a 2012 tutorial, nothing that remotely stares at the DB is checked for SQL, and now he wants me to design a new website, rewrite everything in PHP7 and had the balls to say "I know it's not your job, but it's a job, so do it"

I'm a freelance iOS developer / UI designer and working on a pet related startup. I deal with lot of pets. My parents thinks that I'm full-time dog care taker.

Just released the side project that made me join programming! :) It's been about five months and I learned a lot: PHP, JavaScript, CSS, Handlebars, Jquery, Git (terminal), I even started building a RestAPI. Its been an amazing journey, and I didn't alone! I met other Devs (now good friends) over the Internet and we did it together :) Thanks to everyone on DevRant for being such a great community!
If you want to take a look at the site is: projectgroupie.com
It's a website to find new projects you like and join them! So if you're a developer and you wanna make a blog, you post your project on PG asking for some designer to help you and if someone like it, he can join! :)

I hope you enjoy it and any feedback is welcome!

So before today, I'd never used GoDaddy before. Not even once. My supervisor walks in and happily informs me that I'm going to be adding photos to a website that she does editing for. Okay, fine, that's stupidly easy. What I did not realize, however, is that this entire website had been built using GoDaddy's site builder, and if you're not familiar with it, thank whatever gods you worship that you've dodged that bullet. I hardly want to go wandering around somebody else's web hosting, so I search about for a bit praying that there's SOME semblance of a normal text editor someplace, because text editors make me happy and all, and find very little on the regular site. Already not thrilled. So I figure, how bad is this site editor? Really, how bad can it possibly be?
Oh, you poor misguided son of a -
Anyway, I go in and look at the site. Slideshows everywhere, nothing is aligned correctly, it's a web designer's nightmare. Thankfully, I'm not a web designer, so I press on and reorganize a little bit. I try slapping a new slideshow on their, and discover that unlike the way it SHOULD work, elements do not move to allow for other elements, they just sit there and let you throw things on top of them. I stare at my neatly-stacked slideshows for a second in utter disbelief, knowing but not really accepting that I'm going to need to take every last one of those slideshow elements and slide those little so-and-so's down by hand. ....why? Who designed this? Who decided that was a good idea? I do some Googling to see if there's anything out there to make this less horrid, and lo and behold I find a GoDaddy page about their FTP file manager! It's under web/classic hosting, which apparently means it's deprecated because I spent the next ten minutes hunting around for the "web hosting" link those chicken-lickers were so proud of and it's nowhere to be found.
Alright, so they want to do this the hard way.
At this point I'm screaming internally and PRAYING that I'm just being stupid and not seeing anything to make it easi-
No, not even easier. Just less stupid. This website builder makes no sense. It's like hiring a contractor to build a bridge and handing him a box of Legos and a banana.
So I do more googling and find instructions on getting to the file manager. FINALLY. The first step is find "Hosting" under "My Products." I rush over to My Products joyfully, hoping I can get this stupid website up and running reasonably quickly, and...!
There's no hosting tab.
No button.
Not even a little hard-to-see link. At this point my brain is screaming. WHY would you give me a website builder but absolutely no way to actually write the website? Do people actually use this thing? I mean, I get it if they want to make it nice and accessible for people to make websites without overwhelming them with HTML but if they know how to edit the website and they don't want your help, why would you force me in to this? Why? Then it occurred to me that maybe the organization just hasn't ever had a web developer in it, ever, or at least not one who was willing to help out with the website, so they purposefully signed up for hosting that deprived them of any kind of HTML editor. Then on top of all of that, I noticed that on the home page, which had been edited by someone else long before I ever looked at it, ALSO had one of these stupid slideshows that I had to reorganize by hand, and some sad, angry little man had put in one of the photos sideways. It was SIDEWAYS. Just sitting there on its side, the photo's occupants staring at me with sad eyes begging me to turn them facing up again. I sat there and stared at a badly-designed website in a questionably-designed editor. And I wondered. I wondered who put this all together, and I wondered why *I* was the one doing it, when I work for a university and the website was for some beach homeowner's association. And I wondered if this job was a task that my supervisor had agreed to do and just passed off onto an office monkey. And I wept bitter tears at the realization that I am that office monkey.

Can you see that 1px difference?

Having to argue with team members inside my head.

I have a one-man startup, so I have all these imaginary team members who specialise in different things so that I can concentrate on whatever I am doing for that day.
But it seems my developer side of me hates the manager and UX designer these days for making changes half way through the project.

Oh yeah, and my accountant side thinks I'm spending too much. Fuck you, I needed that money.

I was working for a company as a Mobile Developer and I had a recruiter calling me up, asking me if I'd be interested in working for the company I was already as a "UX Designer". I thought it'd be funny to say yes. It wasn't - I was let go because my company thought I was looking elsewhere.

Hi guys! My name is Karina, I am a graphic designer from Ukraine. I want to show you my work about gopher) My husband is a golang developer and my little hobby of making him T-shirts with gophers has grown into the fact that I now draw them. Do you like my work?

A lot of Project managers are idiots.
Here is what happened: I am a backend developer and was asked to replace some images on some website (not even sure this is supposed to be a backend task). So i did, changes went through review and then they were live.
A few hours later they come to me saying i made a mistake because the image has wrong color tone in one of the browsers (internally facepalming myself)... I didn't design the images nor made any changes to them... I just fucking uploaded the files that were sent to me... That's fucking it.
They blamed me for a design issue and how I should've noticed this issue blah blah blah... And i had to spend an entire fucking hour to explain to them step by step what i did, how i did it and why the color tone was wrong even though i am not a designer and my main tool is VISUAL FUCKING STUDIO AND NOT PHOTOSHOP.

The shit part is that the images were sent to us by the client, so really, it is their fucking fault not mine.
Oh, and they tried to guilt me by saying the client won't pay for this since the images are wrong.

Lost an hour to this bullshit.

As a full-stack dev who has been looking for a full-time role for over half a year now... How the fuck can it be so difficult to land a job as a dev? I'm a passionate, capable, and proven dev; it shouldn't be this hard.

And why the hell are coding/whiteboard interviews the de-facto standard for deciding if somebody is worthy of a role? Whiteboard interviews are as inadequate and unencompassing a means of determining the quality of a candidate as asking a dentist how well they know the organ structure of the human body.

I've applied to an endless number of positions, so far-reaching and desperate as to even apply to international positions and designer roles instead of developer roles (I've been a graphic designer for over 13+ years). Even with this, most don't get back to you, and the few who do most often just notify you of your rejection. On the rare occasion I land an interview, my chances get fucked up by the absurd questions they ask, as if the things they are asking about are at all an appropriate, all-encompassing measure of what I know.

Aren't employers aware that competent devs are able to learn new things and technical nuances nearly instantaneously given documentation or an internet connection? Obviously, I keep learning and getting better after every interview, though it barely helps, when each interviewer asks an entirely new, arbitrary set of questions or problems....

Honestly, fuck the current state of the system for coding job interviews. I'm just about ready to give up. Why the hell did I put myself through 5 years of NYU for a Computer Engineering degree and nearly $100K in student loan debt, if it doesn't help me land a job?

Am a developer not a designer. My work is ugly but smart !! 😎

A day of an iOS developer life:
1. XCode crashed
2. XCode freeze
3. XCode "Jump to Definition" takes me to a different file that has the exact same variable name instead of jumping to the top of the file
4. XCode Storyboard designer throwing 1000000000 as UIStackView width on a newly created UIView
5. Heart attack
6. Lots of depression

** Note:
just noticed devRant web has xcode as placeholder in the tags box lol devRant knows my pain T_T

how about 2 because you can't have everything 🤗

How I discovered I was a developer:

The company had hired a pair of computer science graduates and we had been commissioned to build a magento store. Weeks went buy with limited progress, and missing functionality was met with protestations from the devs about unreasonable demands.

At this time I had been taken on as a designer / casual front end developer (though the focus was on design). I knew HTML, CSS and some very limited php and js.

We were severely over deadline, and seeing the desperation on people's faces I suggested looking into it.

I read the magento docs, got an install up an running, configured an installed plugins, integrated the theme using the complex multilevelled XML/phtml architecture magento uses and even got some of the more complex js functionality working using JavaScript.

In two weeks.

I'm now the lead developer

Salesperson makes commission on sales, CTO gets bonus for going to out of office meetings, designer gets bonus for every design finished. What does the web developer get?

Answer: "we can't afford to give out bonuses just for doing your job."

There are 10 websites to build in the next 6 months, 3 brand new offices in different states that need it equipment ordered and installed by me, and the other 160 clients who all think their edits are most important.

And to top it all off, every time I give an estimate for the work, boss says "just give it to them." Gee, maybe you could afford to pay me a living wage or incentivize me to keep working 6+ hours a night at home if you stopped giving away everything I build for free.

You lower the value of my work and every other web developer out there when you tell clients that the website I built them isn't worth paying for. If every one of the free sites on my list was just charged the minimum $10k, I'm looking at $200k on this board that could have been used to hire me some help or increase my pay to make me feel appreciated.

I love my job and the people I work with, but when you aren't making enough to pay the bills and you work 70+ hours a week something has to change.

Indian web dev companies suck ( for developers )

when I finished 3 year grad program in computer application here in my country (India), I thought life's gonna be fun working as a developer. Oh boy, I was so wrong.

I started out working for a small service based IT company, followed by 2 more. I realized really quickly that they're nothing short of a scam. If your company's only agenda to somehow survive in the market and showing no signs of growth in 8 fucking years, then I'm sorry you're working for scamsters.

Now I'm not saying that all of them are alike. But most of them sorta are.

They don't give a shit about quality, not one bit. Quality means no money in the short run. And they haven't been able to develop any strategy to deal with that. Hence, no growth.

They promise 100 things on their website but only provide shitty services in 10.

There is no pair programming, no code review, no code quality check, no architect, no database designer. They won't give you extra time to write test cases. They use git as a storage device.

They don't put their developers (especially the ones who are learning) under any sort of managed development framework to ensure smooth work.

At the end of the day, their main objective is to somehow NOT deliver a project but finish a milestone and make money out of it.

After cashing out for a milestone, they want you to put your current project on hold and start working on a new project until you have like 10-15 projects in the pipeline and you're severely overwhelmed and you just wanna fucking QUIT.

They would say YES to literally every fucking thing, only to disappoint the client later.

I can't believe someone in the US, or UK thought it'd be a good idea to approach these companies
for their brand new app ideas. They're so fucked.

They're rarely finishing any project.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I had to get it out of my system.

Are you a iOs developer/Android developer/graphic designer/web developer/3D artist aged 18 - 30? Are you fluent in English, both written and spoken? Well, that's nice , Good day 🤡

few years back,I wanted to be become supercar designer or weapon designer.

Due low grade in 12th.I got admission in computer science instead of mechanical.

c was introduced in 1st sem.

Score well in first year.

college offer me to change my field cs -> mechanical

4 year later (now)

2 drop's
1) due to health
2) financial issues

happy to be full stack developer.

still like cars and weapons but choosed cs as my real career.

I'm a front-rend developer... I'M NOT YOUR GRAPHIC DESIGNER *scream internly* 😡

Everything is a fucking priority.

According to the management, everything should be done yesterday already.

Gave me a single designer and developer while asking asking me to deliver long term and short term initiatives at the same time.

Morons.

Developers Rant

When your team lead tells you to exactly replicate the ui which your designer has done using photoshop and the jpg output is given to the developer.

Long rant...

*Designer Posted image of newly designed layout for our app on trello.

Dev 1 (me, being the junior, on ios) : so... What's the size for x, Y, z, a, B, C?

She: it's 9 for the small text, 10 for sub title, 12 for main title.

*shows her the design on app
Dev 1: seems too small

She: just make it to look not small.

Dafug?

*finishes the app layout for that screen.
*working on next screen

Dev 1: your new design is for the screen of 1920x1080. But our supported screen size starts from 320 width. So there'll be text overlapping each other and ui might screw up.

She: uh.. Just... Put those that will overlap to the next line.

*shrugs
Dev 1: ok
=======
2 days later
Dev 2 (senior, working on Android)
Dev 2: so... What's the colour for x, Y, z

*Dev 1 laughs on the inside because of the struggles we have with her.

Dev 1 to Dev 2: is it common for her not to follow the design guidelines?

Dev 2: yeah man.. We just have to adapt her design into our app guidelines.

*sigh

Dev 2: there's a new icon here on this screen, so you wanna change the icon? Can I have the icon file?

She: oh.. No.. Use back the old one, because I just copy and paste.

Dev 1: so... This progress bar of yours, doesn't show its background colour, because you filled it already. So what's the background colour if the bar isn't filled?

She : hmm.... Oh.. Well.. Maybe try x.. ? *doesn't look nice* how about Y? *doesn't look nice* how about...

Me : why not you try in your computer first instead of me changing it here by code, it's much faster this way.

*seriously, wth?

Dev 1 and 2: there's additional text in your new design, what is it for?

She : oh.. No no. I copied extra due to copy and paste. Just ignore it.

Dev 1 and 2: what's the spacing gap between x and Y? And how about the size of the box?

She : oh.. I just estimate it, and for the box, not sure either, you can follow old design, because I'm just putting a box there for illustration purpose.

Mother fickle, what fuck man.

Dev 1 and 2: *flips table.
*we didn't, but.. It's freaking annoying.

You know what does my fucking head in?

Designers or developers who shit on Twitter bootstrap because of something to do with how it looks.

Bootstrap is a framework. Not a theme.

If I can look at your site and tell, just by looking, that you’ve used bootstrap, then you’re a lazy developer / designer.

A site / app should look like how it was designed by the designer (even if that’s you). It SHOULDN’T look like the default version of the css framework you’ve used.

For some reason the office I work for is paying for a designer to become a front end developer and she gets to take the classes one work time. Any time I want to further my career or pay I have to pay out of pocket and it can't interfere with work. Additionally I have to deal with her asking me every other day why I use Sublime over something else.

Basically I use Sublime because I spent too much time researching new things to try and learn yet another editor. If you wanna use brackets, cool, if you wanna use atom, cool, if you wanna use notepad, cool. I don't give a flying fuck what editor you use, you're writing CSS, I'm writing PHP, if you can count to 4 spaces, and not look at my code, I'm not going to scream at you.

She comes in each day and sits at her desk watching video after video on beginner HTML and CSS asking me mundane questions breaking my concentration at least once an hour.

I know we all started somewhere but Google was my best friend and should be yours as well.

At a previous job, I worked with a graphic designer who knew it all.

The first design he gave me, all font sizes were in points, and way too big.

I asked for them in pixels.

He said points and pixels are exactly the same.

I explained that they were not, when you're using a browser. He got visibly angry, and stormed out of the office to cool down.

When he came back, I sent him a link explaining the difference between points and pixels for digital media.

He sent me pixel sizes.

Next project, same exact thing happens, complete with him angrily storming out of the room.

By the third project, I just started picking my own font sizes, and ignored his point specs.

I've been working on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work--

**Sorry. I should rephrase that**

I've been *trying* to work on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work.

It's slightly complicated because I'm not as "in the know" with the project as I should be. I get tossed around projects a lot as the only designer+developer so I've got my hands in a lot of buckets... Or git repos I should say... My source tree has a lot of tabs open and each project is run by someone with their own ideologies on how stuff should be done and laid out and what not. Basically jumping between these projects leaves you mildly capable on all of them but not amazing at any of individual one them--

--I digress.

There's a bug I've been trying to fix.
--Stupid simple bug, literally just a casting issue or something but there's so much data in this one object that it's taking a few solid minutes of concentration to figure out which variable is busting it all up. It shouldn't take long to fix...

But it has. It has taken 4 days.

FOUR. DAYS.

...To fix what is basically a null reference exception.

Every time I sit down to work on this bug real quick I get pulled away to do a wireframe or change a flow chart or diagram or colour or print styling.

Every. God. Damn. Time.
4 days. Soon to be 5.

My commits are real low at this point guys.

Please boss man, just let me code...

A ghost is just a man with Alpha = 0

Designer: in an effort to create our brand identity we've come up with a design pattern to use across Android, iOS, and web.

Me: this design goes against material design principles which we agreed we'd use. Also it looks like a mashup of iOS and Windows 10

Designer: just because it looks like an iOS/Windows 10 mashup doesn't mean it was designed for those platforms; it was designed as our brand for all platforms. We feel very strongly about keeping it, specifically the pieces that make you feel uncomfortable as an Android developer

Me: 🙄😑😣😒

So there's this developer I work with. Let's call him Kevin.

I am a UX designer, former Developer from IBM - but I really love design, so I made the switch. My background however, usually makes working with Developers easy.

But not this guy! I provided a clickable prototype complete with code to easily inspect with Dev tools for measurements. I provided mobile references for some screens but not all.

Kevin submits screenshots for me to review the design. Looks nothing like the prototype, so I get out my Wacom tablet and basically draw redlines over the screenshot. "No border here, 22px should be 20px, etc."

His response was:

"I need you to say exactly what you one (want?) each pages and mobile pages to look like, text size of the font, etc.

You did a lot of red marking, so I am asking for clarification."

So basically asking for red line specs. I asked a month ago if he wanted all the mobile screens, or if what I provided was enough along with the style guide. He agreed. So now I'm majorly pissed off.

Maybe it's also the fact that one of the other developers has to hold his hand, because everything he does is bad. 😡 And his lack of ability to articulate a damn sentence effectively drives me crazy. Cherry on top, I suppose.

Would love to bring this up with my boss. ♥️ And suggestions. 😍

The face of a developer when he makes the similar UI as mentioned in the png file given by designer

I was told by my manager that I (the guy hired to be the lead developer on this project) was not a developer I was a designer and that writing php instead of using a knockoff version of dreamweever to drag and drop all of the items was an "unsecure and unsafe practice". He screamed at me for another 30 mins over this and then sent me on my way and laid me off a week and a half later after I finished the project because "we can't afford you" I was doing ITS, network and service installs, security, and web development for $10.00 an hour. #stupidboss

Well, the system is offline, links are broken and users are complaining! Developer, what did you do?

After some digging around the designer made a "simple change" to a csv file, add a column to include the image file name of each item...

I mean, it just shifted ALL THE COLUMNS in a csv file but what could go wrong? 🤦‍♂️

Tl;DR; version:
French designer, Mexican PSD -> HTML converter, Indian VueJS developer, Spanish project manager and a Taiwanese back-end developer. Application was made like an tower of pizza from bullcrap held by boogers and constantly licked by an orangutang to keep it standing.

Longer version:
We had to take a "half-finished" project from one of our clients, received the code for full-stack project. The css/design was so unbearable that it mostly broke on anything that had higher than 720px wide screen, structure was full of tables/divs and no fucking flexbox/grid... Then the fun part - we saw it's conversion to vueJS - a single fucken App.vue file that had shitton of conditions for pages.... yea, not even multi-component/routed app, just conditions!!!! And then... A back-end (in which I mainly specify myself) - it was made by a developer that had to mainly use Java/C# as their daily driver while all being build on php and Laravel. 0 Fucken laravel functions used, 0 of models, logic and so on.... Most of the page was running on RAW sql queries. Names... Oh my god the function names....
`getTheUsersThatHasAtLeastOneSpaceAssignedToThemByGivenCompanyId(int $id)`
And it held an RAW sql that was coming from a model....

All of this was managed by a random spanish manager who couldn't really understand what our client needed and what he actually wanted so from 100% of the site, only 20% was correct in logic....

And yet, according to the whole "package" (team) - they did everything correctly, saw no issues and our client was ungrateful fucker that refused to pay 10x the amount that we asked in order to completely re-do the application....

Morale: Remote teams are great... As long as all of them can work remote in TEAM.

Fuckbug client has no brain but worse is fuckbug has not one bit of understanding.

I am a fucking developer not a fucking DESIGNER.

You are supposed to give me your fucking information. Information as in text and photos and documents that I can use with minimal modification for your FUCKING website.

It was fucking stupid of me to help you out with non-dev work in the first place. My fucking stupidest mistake of 2017.

Just for the fucking slider, this whole goddamn project is dragging for the whole 2017.

I even helped you out with taking the fucking product photo at your office with my camera so we can have decent images to use.

I stupidly helped you out with doing photoshop of those images with your product labels and stuffs.

But in the end, you fucking dare give me 1 properly designed image to use in slider. Then ask me to change the rest of sliders with similar design like that one. If you have that image why the fuck cannot you do the fucking rest by yourself and come and fucking ask me.

I fucking hate you.

I was just a junior developer, and the senior interviewer had just left for a quick break.

And, I had to interview one dude for the post of Web Designer (we were not asking for experienced devs). And, then he comes up, opens his laptop, goes to a folder and opens an html file that turns out nothing but a "Save Page as.." of one News Website. Seriously, I just said nothing, asked him a bunch of questions and off he goes. I could not stop laughing later.

Hey im a fullstack DEVELOPER, not a fullstack DESIGNER, so dont fucking ask a colorblind person to 'just throw a simple design together, it shouldnt take more than 10 minutes'

New clients and impostor syndrome.

As a self-taught freelance web developer-designer with minimum experience and an introvert it's hard to find new clients. Also the impostor syndrome-experience (call it as you want) doesn't help at all :/

Not directly a dev related rant but needed to write it somewhere. (Also, long long rant, be aware).

I am currently working on a project for a client who is going to launch a new product. He wants us to create the brand and choose the logo, colours, communication... BUT before everything we have to deliver the website design.

We told him several times that the design has to be created AFTER the brand is created, however, he insisted. Then, we offered him to develop the UX/UI patterns but the colors and a few more things would be delivered after, so his 3rd party dev could make the job.

After working on the first draft, we sent it to him and he refused it, calling it "poor designed". We insisted that it was a draft for the UI which he ignored.

He asked for another design by taking as example a website from another (unrelated) company. We worked for another 2 days and delivered a more finished design, which he automatically refused again.

He called us to his office in order to provide us exactly what he wanted in every part of the site. He only gave us the home page and the product page, and ordered us to work through the weekend (Which we didn't as he is being quite petty about everything and bullying us).

We delivered this third draft and he made changes, sometimes going back to things that he refused before.

Now his 3rd party dev has things to work, but he called yesterday today telling us that the rest of the site must be before friday, date in which we will be showing him how the brand will be and what we have created. He didn't care about and demanded the designs.

I helped the designer to develop the designs of the website as I can work in Photoshop (I am mostly front web developer but can design UI) but he is now busy working on the brand and I had to make ALL the remaining designs, knowing that the client will reject them as soon as they are sent to him, since he hasn't given us any indication on how and what he wants.

We developers sometimes make futile work which will be used a few days or months or in order to provide demos, however, the time I wasted today made me get behind other deadlines, which makes me feel bad for not being able to accomplish them.

I was not having much respect for out front-end developer, as the UI is not so good., yea. I know it UI depends on the designer.

Now the new design changed and our UI looks awesome.,

and I must say that my respect increased a lot when my pm asked him to fix the layout in UC Browser.

Fucking shit., in UC it is showing two lanes as one lane. I don't know why., he was working hard to fix that.

Massive Respect to him. I really happy by being backend dev.

Dear developer/designer/whatever you are, who made the splash screen of the iiyama ProLite E2278HD... I hate you and curse you every morning when I turn that damn screen on. Seriously? Pure white? You evil fuck. My eyes burn every morning thanks to you (because I obviously forget when I push that little button).

Even the screen is sarcastic about it "vision & technology"... 😵

So mixing it up a little today, Ranting about devs... actual drawing from a dev to a designer.

That feeling when you're on Facebook or Social Media and you see companies promoting their new website thanking and congratulating the guy who designed and developed their website and you see it was made with with wix, or a free WordPress template.

HOLD MY REDBULL, YOU AINT NO FUCKING DESIGNER OR DEVELOPER —YOU DRAGGED AND DROPPED, LIKE YOU WERE AS A BABY. (😂)

So this is less of a rant and more of a "I'm very excited" post

For the past 8 months I have been working on a redesign of a magazines Wordpress website. I could've completed this site but I wanted every detail to be perfect. I was the only developer / designer working on this project

Now after 8 months, WE WILL BE LAUNCHING THE REDESIGN FOR THE FIRST TIME NEXT WEEK!!!!!!! EVERYONE LOVES THE REDESIGN AND THIS IS THE FIRST MAJOR REDESIGN FOR THIS COMPANY EVER SINCE THEY LAUNCHED A WEBSITE 8 YEARS AGO!

TL;DR Developers don't like it when marketing attempts to do their job. They like it even less when they have to clean up the mess when they fuck things up.

Our marketing team was specifically told not to put JS into the CMS. They were told that if you need JS for something, we will do it and then work it into a release. That wasn't good enough so they hired a design firm to "hack" the JS inline. They found a back door to get the JS in place but couldn't get it to work right. They called me to come look at it. After 5 minutes of explaining why they shouldn't have done what they did, I grudgingly decided to look at the JS. 30 seconds later I fixed what they had been screwing with for about 8 hours. They were using --> arrows in their comments! Seriously?!? designer != developer

So I was in an interview for a web developer position in a startup and the interviewer said to me "Do you think you'll be able to help the guys with CAD design?" I have no idea what to say. Does this guy even know what a developer is??!?!? I mean not that I dont know how to use CAD, but I'm applying as a DEVELOPER, not a product designer

PM and UX designer talks.

About a feature on android with viewpager (swipeable views) and a header with buttons.

PM : We need a back button and a close button on the header.
UX : A customer will be confused by both, with the swipe too.

PM : Then we need a close button alone.
UX : Customer will search for back button and not everyone might swipe left.

PM : We need a back button alone.
UX : Customer might not know how to close the view. He can't keep going back back back.

PM : we don't need any buttons.
UX : Customer should find it easy to close or go back.

PM : bruv.

I’ve been interviewing with a startup for a Frontend Engineer role. In the interview they said they didn’t have a designer, that their founder and other devs do the design work. I thought “ok so they are still putting something together and don’t care much if the UI is crappy”, and still proceeded with it. I do the take-home test, it took a lot more than the 1-2 hours they said it should take (these estimates never seem realistic), I thought I did a pretty good job and send it back to them. I then got an email back from one of the founders, they really liked the code and my approach, but the UX was not good enough. He asked if I would be willing to iterate on it if given some direction? The direction: design your own version of our product. I refused. I thought this was a developer position, not a designer position.

SEO analyst (hired by client) sends his inform to client, designer and developer (me) and all it says is: use friendly urls, proper use of h1, h2..., use alt in img tags...

Come on dude! Those are obvious things to any webdev out there who earns his salary. Do YOUR fucking job, do some fucking research and DO NOT dare to tell me page title and meta description are important (Really? No shit genius!) and tell me THE page title and THE fucking meta description... Or...

Fuck off and go find some other victim to trick with your bullshit marketing slang.

The truth has been spoken 😂

It's a job description for an entry level Software Developer role at Apple.

Basically they want
- A Front end dev
- A back end dev
- An iOS expert
- A Gimp/photoshop designer
- A streaming data expert
- An Oracle/Teradata expert
- A Kafka expert ( Not shown in the picture)

And on top of that the guy should be able to learn new tech faster.

Do they want a developer or a fucking terminator?

I now know why I'm a developer and not a designer, it's so fucking hard like it's goddamn bootstrap that shit is basically built for me but it still looks like an egg took a shit on a toaster

Sat down with the Project Management team today to discuss a signage installation. This is how the conversation went...

Me: Right, so we need to get the hardware on-site asap so we can get this configured before it goes over to the production guys to have the facisa installed.
Them: That's fine we have plenty of time. Stop rushing things.
Me: Okay, so do we have the story board in place ready for development?
Them: Nope. Hasn't been done by the designer yet because he is in a bad mood.
Me: Okay so when does the client want this?
Them: 3 Weeks' time
Me: But it is atleast a week of dev time?
Them: Sure. But you can work late if needed...right?

This is a typical conversation between them and me. I'm the sole developer here. So done with today.

!rant

I'm a developer turning into product designer guys. But I'll never forget my roots, my development origin. What I'm learning is, most of the UX designer are ignorant about development and developers in general and many developers are ignorant about usability. My future aim would be to build a well communication bridge between these two entities and get designer to empathize with developers and vice versa.

I’m a developer, not a designer, y r u making me do wireframes and shit, it’s short-circuiting my brain

Google Business Profile is probably not meant for developers. "Help customers find your business by industry." Dev: set primary category to "Web Developer". Google: We didn't understand your category. Please select from the suggestions that appear when typing. Dev, typing: "Web D"... Google suggests: "Web Designer, Web hosting company, Well drilling contractor, Waterbed shop". Okay, Google, nevermind.
Google: "Update your customers. Keep your customers up to date about your business!" Dev clicks "add update", adds info about that customer should use different phone number temporarily due to broken phone. Google: "Your post has been removed from your Business Profile on Google because it violates one or more of our post content policies." Okay Google, at least you let me add an additional phone number on my profile without requiring to verify my primary number that I currently have not access to. Anything else?
Google: "Claim your €400 free advertising credit" Dev: clicks "claim credit" Google: "To access this Google Ads account, enable 2-Step Verification in your Google account." How to combine idiocy and deceptive patterns in a single UI: Google knows! Apart from their search engine, their unique business advantage is simple that they suck a little less than Apple and Microsoft. Sorry, not a day to be proud of our profession, once again.

My designer just had an user interview where the user is a developer and my designer showed him the mock-ups of a no code tool that we are building, asking the dev for his input.

She literally had a session with a guy announcing him that we are building a tool that will put him out of work and moreover asked him for inputs so that we miss no use case.

And in another story, one of my dev lead decided to decommission an entire feature and replace it will a hacky solution because the devs in her team were not comfortable using the current design in their development stage. Hence, without user research, any strong use case, or considering business implications, she went ahead and drafted the entire approach on how to fuck everyone.

I am out of my honeymoon phase at my new org and I am scared. Shit scared.

When my client boss made me a Front-end Developer, Back-end Developer, Graphic Designer, UI Designer, and an Architect (using AutoCAD) with an annual salary of $6,000USD (i live in the third-world hell in Asia).

i escaped after a month

Reporter: We are now here reporting live from the native mobile app wilderness. As you can see in our captured footage, a developer is going rampage over some mobile UI components.

Native iOS: grrrr... I hate radio buttons!!!..grrr...dropdown lists, too! keep them away from me! I'm allergic to android and web controls, d*mn it! what kind of designer are you!?!

Reporter: That's it for today's devRant episode. Back to you, Steve.

>be web designer at last company
>be put into marketing Dept
>do everything from design to dev, working closely with engineers in IT Dept
>whyamihere.png
>leave to join new tech startup
>get job title "Web Developer"
>startup forms a new marketing Dept
>be put into it

A designer/developer got offended of a joke about "designers". The React team removed it.

There are a couple of them to list! But to sum my main ones(biggest personal heroes):

John McCarthy, one of the founding fathers of Artificial Intelligence and accredited with coining such term(sometimes before 1960 if memory serves right), a mathematical prodigy, the man based the original model of the Lisp programming language in lambda calculus. Many modern concepts that we have in programming where implemented in one way or another from his systems back in the day, and as a data analyst and ML nut.....well I am a big fan.

Herb Sutter: C++ programmer extraordinaire. I appreciate him more for his lectures and published articles than anything else. Incredibly smart and down to earth and manages to make C++ less intimidating while still approaching it with respect.

Rich Hickey: The mastermind behind Clojure, the Lisp dialect for the JVM. Rich is really talented and his lectures behind his motivations and reasons behind everything he does with Clojure are fascinating to see.

Ryan Dahl: Awww shit y'all know how it is. The man changed web development both in the backend and the frontend for good. The concept of people writing their own servers to run their pages was not new, but the Node JS runtime environment made it more widely available to people by means of a simple to use language that was already popular with web developers. I would venture to say that Ryan's amazing contributions to JS made the language better, as it stands, the language continues to evolve and new features that make it overall better keep being added. He is currently building Deno, which would be a runtime environment for TypeScript, in Rust.

Anders Hejlsberg: This dude was everywhere man....the original author of Turbo Pascal and the lead of Delphi back in the day. These RAD tools paved the way for what would be a revolution in the computing world. The dude is also the lead architect and designer of the C# programming language as well as TypeScript.
This fucker is everywhere and I love it.

Yukihiro "Matz" Matsumoto: Matsumoto san is the creator of the Ruby programming language. Not only am I a die hard fan of Ruby, but of the core philosophies that the man keeps as the core of his language design: Make the developer happy, principle of least surprise. Also I follow: minswan which is a term made by the Ruby community that states Mats is nice so we are nice. <---- because being cool to others is better than being a passive aggressive cunt.

Steve Wozniak: I feel as if the man does not get enough recognition...the man designed the Apple || computer which (regardless of how much most of y'all bitch and whine) paved the way for modern micro computers. Dude is also accredited with designing one of the first programmable universal remotes(which momma said was shitty) but he did none the less.

Alan Kay: Developed Smalltalk and the original OOP way of doing things. Smalltalk as a concept is really fucking interesting. If you guys ever get the chance, play with Pharo, which is a modern Smalltalk. The thing is really interesting and the overall idea of Smalltalk can be grasped in very little time. It sucks because the software scales beautifully in terms of project building, the idea of hoisting a program as its own runtime environment and ide by preserving state through images is just mind blowing to me. Makes file based programs feel....well....quaint.

Those are some of the biggest dudes for me. I know that the list is large, but I wanted to give credit to the people that inspired me the most. Honorary mention goes to other language creators and engineers of course, but it would be way too large to list!

I recently accepted my first "real" Dev position. This has been a huge hurdle for me.

So my degree is in graphic design and it's pretty much what I spent the first 2-3 years after university doing. In fact, when I started at the place I am now (I am still working my notice) I was hired as a creative artworker.

I had always had a website I put together with some basic frontend skills, but always assumed the backend stuff was "beyond me". But, given the option here, I asked to be sent on a PHP course. Holy shit I took to it like a duck to water. Over the next few months I got my feet wet building a new website for the company, building out a little intranet, all that good stuff. I went from procedural spaghetti monstrosities to nice, OOP, documented code. It was beautiful. And no one here really have a fuck.

About 6 months ago, I started trying to leave. This was hard. I actually had several interviews for design positions, but always got turned down for some variation of "you're very technical and we think you'd get bored here" and thank god really, because they're right. I could never get a look in for Dev jobs though, because on paper I had no experience, hell my job title was still "Digital Designer" despite over a year of developing here.

But it finally happened. Through someone I used to know I got my foot in the door for a developer position. In the interview they even told me if it was a junior position they'd hire me on the spot - but sadly it wasn't. I had a good time though, a good laugh, and had a lot of fun finally, for the first time in my life, "working" and talking with other developers.

Over the next couple of weeks the agent kept telling me I had done really well and they were just dragging their feet getting things sorted, but I gave up hope a little. So imagine my surprise when I found out they turned the role into a junior one for me!

And so now, I get to go to a job where my job title includes the word "Developer". To some of you that might not mean much, but to me it's a fucking medal I wish I could mount on a plaque on my wall.

!rant

I’m a backend - spaghetti - developer, and today i took the biggest mindfuck in my life when i found out that it’s possible to have functional mockups... at first glance i tought that i’ve only received a screenshot collection of what the designer did... guess what... i was able to click lè buttons and go trough the whole application flow.

Thanks Adobe for xD ...
I should get a freakin designer job.

So, I'm the only developer in a marketing firm. I was asked to develop the company website. The deadline was within a month. A full on CMS. When I was interviewed I told them that I'm more fluent in back-end development rather than UI design etc. So the company's designer started designing the website. Incomplete designs were given to me one week before the due date. I'm a fresh grad so I'm relatively new. So I used a website builder knowing that I can't code the whole CMS within a week. I asked them which they gave approval to knowing it was $16 a month.
I started making it using webflow. 2 pages in, I asked them to pay for the subscription because webflow allows 2-3 pages for the free version. When the time to pay came, they were like, "wow, $16? That's a lot every month for just a website". Keep in mind, it's not that they don't have the money. Just cheap. This was like 5 days before the deadline and they said it's too expensive and asked me to code everything by myself. And gave an extension for a few months.
I said okay and started development. I said we would still need to spend on a cloud instance for deployment which would be like $6 monthly. My manager asked me is there a way to not pay monthly and pay like $100 and get one for lifetime. I facepalmed so hard. I tried explaining to him cloud-server costs are either monthly/yearly or pay-per-use basis. He told me maybe because I'm new I don't know and go to do some research on it. I researched and the only solution was to buy a server which costs $100++ monthly. I sent him the costs in a document which he did not even bother to read.

That was back in November last year. Fast forward to February. I've coded the website thrice. The design keeps changing every week. The design is still not complete. And they are saying I'm not eligible for a promotion because the website is still not done. It pisses me the fuck off. It's not my fault it's not done. The designers haven't done the design, the manager can't decide on shit. I'm just here because it's my first job out of uni and I thought it might be a good experience, but honestly right now the way they are treating me it pisses me off.

As a web designer/developer I hate this recent trend of very light gray text fields on forms that have a white background. I don't want to have to peer at my screen for objects. My vision is average, so why would a client want this?

Web Designer vs Web Developer

Oops, looks like "Benedict Cumberbatch" just broke your unrealistic design specs and spotlights your non-inclusive cognitive bias, designer. Maybe stop using "John Smith" as mock design data for users' names and design things for real people.

Developers should not be paying down your design debts. Fix this!

Sincerely, the UI developer doing your job

It is true what they say; Designers are from Omicron Persei 7, Developers are from Omicron Persei 9.

Hi, what is the average salary of developers in your country.

For me : i'm junior UI/UX designer and front end developer in Paris, working for Parisian digital consulting agency 35hrs a week

Annual salary 30k €
Adding to this :
Daily meal ticket 8,8€
Insurance
50% of transport ticket's price is refunded
And many other stuffs and don't even remember.

Knowing that Paris is an expensive city.

How about you people ?

Been working with a developer who can't make a visually competent bootstrap site for his life, and after making entire accurate-to-the-pixel mockups for him to emulate we continue to get half-assed work with consistent excuses... My time is now spent going line-by-line through his project items determining what he has and hasn't actually accomplished from his "completed" list. I'm no longer just a designer, I'm evidently now a joint project manager as well, for no extra pay...

What is the point of using either Windows or macOS instead of GNU for development these days if you are neither an enterprise developer nor a visual designer?

Here's to @Wisecrack:

Some time ago I pitched an idea to my boss about a platform we implement to optimize some fucked-up processes and in fact a whole project and I boasted some 20-30% increase in productivity. Yeah, I know ... what a fucking big mouth.

Truth be told they (almost all project members) went all for it so we started working on that software.

A small step for me, a GIANT LEAP IN A FUCKING CESSPOOL.

And of course it's just the two of us - me and my colleague - as always.
And we don't have requirements - as always.
And now there are deadlines too!
And people be like: IS IT READY YET?

So between playing a consultant, a product owner, systems architect, product manager, designer, front-end/back-end developer, DBA, DevOps engineer, YOU-NAME-IT-ROLE, and dealing with my everyday work-related bullshit (because yes, I do that too) I lost all appetite for it.
I actually loved this idea and what it can be born out of it, now I'm frustrated. It's still relevant and it will still benefit them, but I am already FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF IT.

So my "oh, how I'd love to help them" personality is fighting my "let them sink in their own shit" personality and I'll see which will come on top. :)

Truth is if I had the "5-years-ago me" energy a good chunk of that project would be done by now. 😁

Also yesterday my daughter had shouted at old people and had thrown stuff at them while at kindergarten. I sure hope they deserved it LOL.

FML?

Why team leads assume that because the designer took 10 minutes to adjust a form, it means it will take me also 10 minutes to adjust the code?

Especially if I just strated working with the theme. And I told them I'm a backend developer who did little work with theming....

The line between developer and designer is becoming more blurred and I love it.

I am a big fan of the Go programming language. I really am. From syntax to the purpose and everything in between, I dig the language. I normally use it as a hobby language. My escape from my daily dosis of php, js and Java.....or when my workplace insists on believing that I am a designer instead of a developer........I am definitely not a designer....I am super slow at design.

But back at my main topic! Go. The language is cool, the environment is cool and it is booming here in the states.......can we PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE WITH CHERRIES ON TOP change the stupid mascot logo? I swear that thing looks absolutely fucking retarded. Much like the Perl 6 Mascot......I know this is a small thing but looking at that stupid "gopher" really irritates the fuck out of me. Coolest logo ever? Rust or Python really.

one week back from my holidays and so far:
- 3 server outages
- 1 developer will be fired
- 2 new employees (company has around 35 employees)
- 2 employees leaving
- outsourced designs, the designer surely didn't read the feature research doc nor followed style sheet
- a small, easy feature has not yet been finished by the rest of the team
- new devOps engineer wants to rewrite our entire tech stack

But at least the CEO was doing it's best and ran away from the problems & ran 150km

I never really got what a front end or back end dev was. Or when you call yourself a developer or engineer or designer. Especially when it comes to games there are so many different job titles - wth

Dear dev rant. I stopped being a web designer today and am now a software "developer". I feel like I don't know crap again :)

We were forced by the enterprise architect team (people that knows almost nothing about web development) to use EdgeIPK an application technology that renders html-js-css using a designer mode to produce a cutting edge web site.

After 8 months of headaches and the resignation of the EdgeIPK web developer consultant we rewrote the entire thing with something else.

Saving to buy a Mac.

I'm a full stack developer: I do Web Development, Backend Development.

Not a graphic designer but I use Photoshop and Illustrator to modify assets that I receive clients.

What is a good budget Mac Laptop that I can hang on for most of my work ?

developers vs designer

!rant

TL;DR one year on as a react dev, I want to go at it self employed, humbly seeking advice as this community seems to have its fair share of knowledgeable freelancers.

I have 1 year professional experience now as a Meteor, React and Apollo developer

The dream is to become self employed. I figure a good market would be small businesses that want a website that are more featureful than a diy wix site.

Only I am more of a developer than a designer, so rely heavily on things like Bootstrap or Material ui. So I wonder if Upwork, Fiverr or simply my own freelance website would be better.

As you guessed javascript is my biggest strength, not sure if nodejs is the best backend for small businesses as hosting prices are more than eqv php stack.

Also want to build own projects on the side to monetize. Bigger dream would be to be client-less and develop and sell personal projects.

Seeking advice from those who are self employed. Am I dreaming too big?

Shall I keep the office job for a bit longer then take the plunge? Or do you think I can just go for it. Are there lucrative areas I am missing?

Thanks in advanced

// first rant

So this isn't really a "dev" rant but I'm a developer taking my first ever design class. It's a senior level, group based class where we design a mobile OS from the ground up, using any inspiration we like. I love it because I'm the developer and designer for all of the Android apps I've worked on so far. I get to practice my design skills and have a portfolio addition. Neat! It's a pretty easy class too.

But my group. Oh God my group.

I spent a week and a half designing the style guide and it was jam packed with anything we'd need. Typography, icons, rationales, you name it!

But noooo, they can't use it because it's not in sketch. As a Windows user, this is infuriating. So three weeks go by and all this work is done that's SUPER INCONSISTENT. Bad colors, elements off by 3px... I mean even the font sizes are just 1 or 2 off. Seriously, I wish I could just be frank with them and tell them to put in the 1% effort to make it right. It's really not that hard. I just don't want to screw up the peace in my group..

Companies in my country think that since you are a developer, you must be also a product designer. You must know where to put the button, the table etc.
Especially back end developers.

Well it's a bit long but worth reading, two crazy stories in one rant:

So there are 2 things to consider as being my first job. If entrepreneurship counts, when I was 16 my developer friend and I created a small local music magazine website. We had 2 editors and 12 writers, all music enthusiasts of more or less our age. We used a CMS to let them add the content. We used a non-profit organization mentorship and got us a mentor which already had his exit, and was close to his next one. The guy was purely a genius, he taught us all about business plans, advertising, SEO, no-pay model for the young journalists (we promised to give formal journalist certificates and salary when the site grows up)
We hired a designer, we hired a flash expert to make some advertising campaigns and started filling the site with content.

Due to our programming enthusiasm we added to the raw CMS some really cool automation: We scanned our country's radio charts each week using a cron job and the charts' RSS, made a bot to search the songs on youtube and posted the first search result as an embedded video using some reg-exps. This was one of the most fun coding times I've had. Doing these crazy stuff with none to little prior knowledge really proved me I can do anything with the power of will.

Then my partner travelled to work in an internship in the Netherlands and I was too lazy to continue it on my own and it closed, not so surprisingly for a 16 years old slacker boy.

Then the mentor offered my real first job. He had a huge forum (14GB of historical SQL) but it was dying, the CMS version was very old and he wanted me to upgrade it to the latest. It didn't seem hard at first, because there were very clear instructions in the CMS website on how to do that. However, the automation upgrade scripts didn't work well because the forum owners added some raw code (not MVC plugins but bad undocumented code) and some columns to the SQL tables. I didn't give up and decided to migrate between the versions without the scripts. I opened a new CMS and started learning by heart all of the database columns so I can make a script to migrate between the versions. The first tests ran forever because processing 14GB of data on a single home computer is not a task meant to be done. I didn't give up. I made an old forum and compared the table structures and code with my mentor's. I think I didn't exhaustively finish this solution, the task was too big on my shoulders and eventually I gave up. I still owe thanks for that mentor for teaching me how to bare with seemingly (and practically) impossible tasks, for learning not to fear from being a leader and an entrepreneur and also for paying me in time even though I didn't deliver anything 😂

Is it normal for a Web developer to also become a designer and content manager!?

I saw the asstard just wrote his roles on his screen. Appearently he is a lead UX, and a senior Frontend developer. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks of himself as a designer and a brand-manager as well. This site was one big fucking mess before i started here, and this guy is taking all credits.

Be me
Newb Ui dev
New job , learn c#
Become xaml pro first
Newb ui dev
Today building menu
It's breaking ree.
Ok I go through an fix
Part fixed
No reee
Commit build for other my senior dev
We have online compiler
Receive build fail
Reeee
My code is good
I'm sweating bullets
I call other dev
Yo I f***** up
Help me
Go figure it out ... reeee
I go spend 40 mins
Don't know what is killing build
Reeee intensifies.
Going to shit diamonds
Reeeeeee
Other dev, lol my bad I turned on somethin that break ur build. Your not fired congrats.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeee

DEVELOPER v DESIGNER

The never ending battle!