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My senior dev, shortens “analytics” into “anal” variables. Iam literally dying while Reading through the code!13
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I literally just opened devRant app to upload this photo and discovered @tdails posted about the same thing.
13 -
Functional Programming literally has 'fun' in the title; OOP is one letter away from 💩. I rest my case.5
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Some clients take this too literally, but in general I would agree! ☺️
©Instagram @alphaimplement
10 -
Jr. front end dev says, "I know enough back end to be dangerous". Literally destroys entire codebase.9
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Status update after my first day of my internship:
I realized I know literally nothing about SSH Keys.
Bye.7 -
Everyone needs to know about devdocs.io please check it out - it will literally change your life.11
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Arrays start at ZERO, Morty, ZERO. God, I (burp) thought you would have figured that out by now. Lo-lo-look, I know you were taught that arrays start at one, but that's just (burp) fucking stupid Morty and if I ever find whoever started that shit I will literally drill the correct answer into their brain. And I don't mean "literally" as a literally unliteral exaggeration Morty, I mean (buuuurp) I will literally use a brain-altering power drill and get it into their fucking head that (burp) arrays start. at. zero.
3 -
> *makes literally one change in the code*
> welp! Calling that a day!
> *proceeds to play GTA Online*2 -
Yusuke Endoh: This is a Ruby program that generates Rust program that generates Scala program that generates ...(through 128 languages in total)... REXX program that generates the original Ruby code again.
Me: OH MAH GAWWD! WHY!!
https://github.com/mame/quine-relay
5 -
ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
I've got a client that is complaining a long sentence is on multiple lines on a mobile device.
You literally cannot make this stuff up. They are literally saying, "move this specific word up to the line above."8 -
SO FUCKING MUCH COFFEE!!!! FUUUUUCK!!
I'M LITERALLY BURSTING OF ENERGY!!!
I CAN'T EVEN CONCENTRATE ON MY WORK ANYMORE!!14 -
Steam have literally sent my username/password in an email. Couldn’t someone easily intercept that?
19 -
Functional Programming literally has 'fun' in the title; OOP is one letter away from 💩. I rest my case.4
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My roommate's CS Prof literally makes them print their code on PAPER (max 80 chars to a line) and submit it to his physical dropbox across campus. This includes end of term projects where a single submission might have literally 20 pages of code.
I don't know what to say.13 -
Am I the only one who keeps adding articles to pocket and seldom checks it
Procrastination..
I mean literally.4 -
In Russia we call PS/2 “пс пополам”, literally “ps divided by two”. Reminds me of French numbers system where they call say 99 “quatre vingt dix neuf”, literally a “four times twenty plus ten plus nine”15
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My coworker is sick so according to "Agile" I need to work on the weekend?
Literally go fuck yourself. This shit doesn't fly in literally any industry but this.18 -
This is literally me! I'm handling multiple projects with overlapping timelines. Pressure comes from all directions!
4 -
YouTube’s has gotten really irritating lately with its advertising. Literally 3 ads side by side before the video title
13 -
I don't understand all the buzz around chat bots, they are literally just command lines with voice input6
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Installed Cookie Clicker yesterday. This app literally bombs my PiHole with ad- and tracker domains.
This is pretty bad...
9 -
I'm fascinated by the programs in use by stores. I was buying a piece of furniture yesterday and noticed that the employee typed my order using the console. Literally everything - the model, the color, the shipping address...4
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Photoshop in my country with a low dollar exchange rate, literally required 1/10th of my monthly salary when I was a beginner.
Literally go fuck yourself Adobe.4 -
Blue pill: master LITERALLY every computer language on earth and be able to use them to their full potential to create LITERALLY any idea that comes to you.
Red pill: master LITERALLY every linguistic language that exists and be able to speak fluently with every human on earth
...........................
I picked the blue pill and people thought I'm weird.
14 -
I literally just had a conversation with my coworker who is not a dev where he said that WordPress sites getting hacked is a myth. He also thinks shared hosting sites getting hacked is also a myth......I literally can't right now.4
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that moment when you finish your project literally a minute before deadline, just before entering the presentation room6
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Literally tabs vs. spaces. The joke is everywhere, and the people taking stances have clearly never used find+replace.8
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PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
Me: No
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.5 -
Note to self: stop trying to write literally everything modular, it's not always the best thing to do.
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WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ONLY KEEPING THE LAST 10 BUILD ARTIFACTS IN ARTIFACTORY?!
THAT IS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE IT
NOW I CAN'T ROLL BACK PROD CHANGES TO A WORKING VERSION BECAUSE IT LITERALLY DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE
FUCK YOU, IT'S YOUR FIRE NOW9 -
Literally just happened now, happy but surprised. It’s the best feeling ever when it just works though.
4 -
WTF Apple!? Yet another update? I use the iPad mainly to catch up on some light reading while doing a number two. But as of late, I've spend more time watching that line grow under your logo. I blame you for my haemorrhoids, you stupid piece of fruit!!1
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The Universal Windows Platform is really efficient. Visualizing a 13MB database literally takes 750MB of RAM. Thanks Microsoft❤
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*Releases software for State project comprising of a solution with 3 WinServices and 2 WCF Services*
*Literally 15 min after release*
Email from State: "Here is an updated wsdl schema that is going literally fuck up everything you have released, enjoy!"
Me: *starts convulsing* -
The moment when you've spent way too much time working on your mail server and your dumbass friend instinctively slaps a @gmail.com at the end of your custom domain...
1 -
Why the heck are we drawed with ties? We are literally the most informal dressed workers, aren't we?
5 -
IKEA small Filur container might be the best IKEA product ever produced. Why?
- it's ridiculously compact for its volume
- it fits the standard grocery bag just perfectly allowing you to reuse old grocery bags as trash bags
- when closed, it creates almost airtight seal without using any gaskets
- it's absolutely overbuilt and ridiculously strong
Why is it so strong? You see, the wall thickness along doesn't matter, but the wall thickness to volume ratio does. If you decide to build a house with the same wall thickness out of same material, it would collapse under it's own weight.
But the wall thickness to volume ratio of this very container allows it to be possibly the strongest IKEA product ever. As a matter of fact, the walls could be three times thinner also rendering the container perfectly usable. Also, this kind of plastic bends but doesn't break. Also, the lid alone has 38 FUCKING stiffening ribs.
Also I like the color and the office vibe the whole thing radiates.
Totally get your hands on one. You won't regret it.
12 -
The new HUAWEI ad is so wrong. It literally shows addiction as something positive and cool: https://youtu.be/891NDt5QwHk2
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Love working from home because I can literally scream at the stupid commentary that appears in my inbox.2
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Today's assignment made @safiullah lose his mind.He literally wrote:
void someFunc(int x)
{
x = x ;
}7 -
*literally any arithmetic operation which is hideously wrong*
Almost every JS dev : Is this JavaScript?1 -
Our android professor has absolutely no hopes from us. She literally sent one if my classmates this today.😂
4 -
Don't freaking urgent request me! Your ass better be literally on fire, otherwise you are wasting my time!2
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Today I learned that some external devs one of our projects is working with have DB tables where they store references to specific dates, and not only that, but every minute of those dates, and the day of the week, and what season its in. Im not joking.
Hmm should I use the local datetime libs or should I go through a firewall, load balancer and DB cluster just to find out what day it is? -
Literally anything breaks
Management: Devs should have tested it
Devs: What the fuck are testers for?11 -
IE's dev tools is the web-dev equivalent to a broken Mad Catz controller. Literally fucking unusable.
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I literally just deleted all (50+) of my college research files from chrome bookmark folder by accident but after a small research I landed on this article from HTG and by following instructions from there I successfully restore it. Fuck I've never felt so blessed in my fucking life.1
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Mhhh. CMake scripting. Always fun. I can barely describe how enfuriating it is dealing with this. Literally shaking.2
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I'm literally dying because this video left me without breathe from laughing
https://youtube.com/watch/...4 -
How did we normalize Project Managers (non-technical scumbags who literally just make excel sheets and track work items) yelling at Developers (they literally get everything done).
Imagine having PMs yelling at surgeons for not removing a tumor fast enough or something.5 -
How did I not know there was a devrant website. Literally thought it was only an Android/iPhone app.3
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>repo about the cool parts of modern php
>literally the first one is already a mindfuck antipattern
7 -
Every time I read someone reply to a post with "lol" I stop for a moment and imagine myself actually laughing out loud to that post. I've got to say, only under ~1% of such posts were actually worth lol'ing. Other times laughing out loud to whatever is there would be retarded at best.
So either I'm a bum with only notions of a sense of humour OR there are far too many retards laughing out loud to basically anything.
Or perhaps there are too many idiots who use 'lol' without knowing what it means.
Or those people so desperately want others' attention that they lie to others pretending to like what they say/do/write by saying "what you did there made me feel so good that I burst in loud laughter".
This is stupid.
If you don't laugh OUT LOUD - then don't say that you do.
If you are not in immediate danger threatening to your life - then don't say you are LITERALLY DYING.
FFS, is it THAT hard?26 -
Incredible that these companies with literally no product, and barely a website (if any) come around offering 100K+ jobs
They have funding out of their ass but literally NO real-world value... it's amazing to me.
Guess it really is not what you can do but who you know.1 -
Literally whatever colleagues/people in the field prefer.
Otherwise, it's functionality followed by minimalism and followed by understandability. -
Indian housing market literally exploits bachelors who look to take a house on rent. Motherfucking retards!9
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Isn't there something less of a clusterfuck than kubernetes.....
Yes it's a clusterfuck literally10 -
The OnePlus website literally has a "Request Repair" option under the instructions to manually upgrade your OS 🤣
4 -
How does the created time work in Devrant's API?
I get 'created_time': 1563478239
It makes literally no sense13 -
"This time I am gonna work with tests", literally me everytime I am starting a god damned new Project.2
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Our Daily Stand Up literally became a meeting with discussions and Q&A portion. Greater than 30 minutes LOL8
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At work I'm surrounded by happy_looking_fucking_around_with__me_and_each_other idiots, literally. Fine I'll just work for money and experience. Jeez 🙄1
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Okay, I have seen my share of useless classes, but this takes them all out. This tutorial will literally be around 4 to 5 functions, and about how to set different options.... Literally useless...
1 -
I literally handcuff myself to my desk sometimes. Also helps with my trichotillomania. Double win.4
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you literally change about 80% of your business flow then demand new features/modules for literally at least once every 3 months, then you are angry why your 2 underpaid, overworked programmers can't catch up.
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I literally recall all my achievements and remind myself of my consequences.
Usually does the trick.1 -
Literally vs figuratively... That hilarious anecdote where something went derp did not cause you to literally die. You fuckwit.1
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I'm done with my current project and have literally nothing to do and I'm sleepy all the fucking time1
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Yes, a rant
About iPhone
Not apple watch though
You can literally build a computer with far better specs with how much they are charging for it
iPhones are literally expensive PoS depencies for Apple Watches (actually tried a bunch. AppleWatch is years ahead it's competitors
Change my mind. You won't16 -
After yesterday update, my Windows 10 installation literally died, and I’m stuck on spinning cursor.2
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I just keep randomly download apps and i can't stop it... Specially the geeky ones...
Guess I'm literally appholic:/4 -
I literally can't believe that your project even runs without this technology I just learned about yesterday
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Normalize asking "but why do i need docker" for an app that is literally just an executable + database.9
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$ git clone some/shit.git dir
$ cd dir
$ npm install
[literally ages later]
$ du -sh node_modules
441M node_modules
fucking what???!2 -
literally everything, with infinite time to spare. (this is another reason why immortality sucks cock, btw)2
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Can anyone please tell me what does this actually mean?
https://opensource.apple.com/
I'm literally asking..5 -
This is literally a line of code from this PHP codebase. w h y
$_POST = unserialize ( $_SESSION ['nyt_form'] );4 -
Friendly reminder that some PSUs can literally be chained together with Molex connectors and a couple paperclips.4
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how do they liquefy and bottle mental focus? how is this ginger ale soda literally just liquid mental focus?1
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Literally waiting minutes for every change when working on a drupal website at the same time as someone else...1
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I’m always the youngest one out of every engineer in the company. I don’t know, it feels weird. I’m partially proud of myself, but I don’t know what to think of it. I look way older thanks to my genetic hemoglobin shortage aka anemia, so that helps. I never tell my real age to other colleagues, haha.
Anyways, don’t know what I wanted to tell with this random “rant”, but I guess that’s that.
If anyone relates to this, let’s talk.7 -
Although i love my mac, but to be honest thing on windows is something I am literally missing out.. :(
5 -
Literally any other piece of code that ISN'T necessary will have my full attention until it's too late
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==<insert dazzlingly sincere and provocative comment based on literally the same willfully stupid events here<===
God fix shit already !
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