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Search - "silence!"
-
Finally I found a webpage related to my bug.
The page is from 2004.
*keeps reading*
"Yes, yes! This is exactly the problem I'm having"
*Carefully reading each comments*
*Looking at scroll bar with stress*
*Almost coming to end, no signs of solution*
At the end the thread creator say: "Ah finally I've fixed the problem. Thanks everyone for helping"
*moment of silence*
WHY U NO SHARE THE GOD DAMN SOLUTION? YOU FUCKING IDIOT17 -
Interview
HR: So .. tell us .. where do you see our AI acting in 5 years?
ME: Doing your job minus the stupid questions.
*silence*
Boss breaks out in laughter.
"Oh boy you're hired"12 -
"So what are your hobbies?"
Me: "programming"
"No i mean your real hobbies, besides the work you do"
Me: *awkward silence*7 -
I was explaining to my mom how my company is in need of developers and how we'll need more of them in the future - to which she replied:
"oh... what are you going to do? You can't live without a job!"
- erm? What?
"Well - you're not smart like those guys. You'll probably get fired now."
- Wtf mom!? I'm a friggin lead dev and i've been a developer for like 10 years now!? 😳
*silence* "is that what you've been doing? I thought you just kept clicking on stuff"11 -
Me: *just playing around with Git on my terminal*
Friend: "Man, you're such a geek, typing your git command on the terminal.. I myself can't use git without the GUI at all"
Me: *stares at him in silence*
Me: "Wait... THERE 'S A GUI FOR THAT?"
*true story when I was in college*40 -
So there was an inspection from government for our bank's IT security. I gave a tour to our server and security systems. I threw all possible acronyms as much as I could remember. Inspector nodded and noted down never uttered a word.
Finally, he breaks his silence, looking at a device he points out and says "What's that ?"
I look at the device then stare at his face back again at the device and to his face I reply "That's AC, Air Conditioner".19 -
Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.
Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.14 -
Me: I'm really underpaid and you know that. You gotta do something about it.
My Manager: It's on my radar. It's complex. Things like these never move quickly.
*Few weeks later*
My Manager: Hey what's the status on that new POC?
Me: It's on my radar. It's complex. Things like these never move quickly.
*Radio silence in the room*21 -
Project handover:
"Mmh okay, so what about test coverage?"
Dev: "zero"
Team taking the project "why???"
Dev: "You don't need test if you write perfect code"
Silence in the room... Followed by awkward laugh.18 -
Le me having a chit chat with a student after sharing about programming in my former high school..
Student: "I learnt Java the other day, and I don't really like it"
Me: "Why?"
Student: "Because we can import existing packages on the community to do almost anything"
Me: "And? How is that bad for you?"
Student: "It's not very challenging, isn't it? I want to build everything in my program with my own code!"
Me: [silence]
Me: "Listen here, you little shit..."22 -
She: "I am not getting anything out of these classes!!"
Me: "Try making some Objects first"
*Awkward silence*8 -
Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"
*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*
Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.
Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"
*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*11 -
Long time no see Friend:- "hey dude what do you do for a living"
Me:- "I suffer in silence"
Ltnsf:- " but what exactly do you do"
Me:-"I stare at a rectangular space hoping to find enlightenment" -
Interviewer: Do you know about SQL injection?
Student: Yessss
Interviewer: Okay, how we can prevent it?
Student: Yes, we should prevent it as prevention is always better than cure. It can lead to data loss and other problems so it can be difficult to fix it if it happens. The best case is that nothing like that takes place. [...]
Interviewer: I get it but how?
Student: By not building any web applications.
[Silence]
Interviewer: Nice, you may go. Do not call us. We will call you.19 -
Two minutes of silence to all Microsoft employees who were looking to switch jobs through Linkedin. 😂😂1
-
*Tries to pull down code changes*
*Repo is dead*
*Tries to load IDE*
*IDE is loaded via the cloud and it is down*
*Tries to contact help desk*
*Help desk is down*
*Sits in silence*
Guess I am done for the day.6 -
My friend just made an awkward joke
Me: I couldn't get Postgres working on ubuntu
Friend: How bout installing GET-gres
Me: (awkward silence)7 -
Hello {Project}, my old friend. I've come to debug you again
Because the scope is softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was developing
And the misery that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence...
In restless dreams I debugged alone
Narrow file of cobbled code
‘Neath the halo of a desk lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of git checkin
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand bugs and maybe more
People coding without asking
People coding without listening
People writing code that they never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
Fools, said I, you do not know
{Project} like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence.
And the people bowed and prayed
To the kludgy app they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence15 -
*Sits down at restaurant*
*orders food*
Me: opens devRant
Wife: "You're always on your phone. You're supposed to pay attention to me."
Me: puts phone down. "What would you like to talk about?"
Wife: "...I don't know"
*sits in silence for a minute*
Me: opens devRant10 -
Project manager: I thought you said you made sure it was live today! I'm going to have to explain that you're the main issue with why it isn't live to management!
Me: have you cleared your cache?.... (long silence)
I swear it's the new "have you tried turning it off and then on again".2 -
Sitting in a dorm, chilling..
My new roommate: So You study Computer Science?
Me: *Here it goes again*
Roommate: Can you fix my HDD? Something is wrong with it..
Me: No...
Roommate: But..
Me: No I study computer SCIENCE! Go ask yout physics professor to fix your fucking trebuchet, because he knows how that stuff works..
Roommate: *Silence*
God... That was my best reply in whole life... Someone should make a shirt of that...23 -
I have just realized the music that was playing in my headphones stopped a long time ago and I've just been sitting here in silence with my headphones on listening to absolutely nothing.6
-
My wife took the kids to the mall.
I work from home.
me: fuck yeah, I'll be able to work now, since I focus a lot more when there's a lot of silence in the house, looking forward to this coding session
me: *takes the fattest 2 hour nap*
I guess I was tired...8 -
Me : We have 3 guys , 850 hours of content to develop, and you want this by mid Feb...
Account Manager : Yes
Me: ... (Doing math in head)..
Account Manager : This has to happen , what do we need to MAKE THIS HAPPEN..
Me: A time machine....
- awkward silence -10 -
Life of a Developer...
Everyone else: HURRY UP!! WE NEED THIS YESTERDAY!! WHATS TAKONG SO F***ING LONG!!
Me: The documentation you have doesn't have all the information which I've repeatedly asked for
Everyone: silence ...5 -
Me: *Playing around with bash on Windows*
Friend: Can you hack my Facebook account?
Me: I already did...
*moments of awkward silence*4 -
Yesterday Mr Senior told us that "it's not possible to do that".
I (30 years younger) replied I read about that possibility in the manual.
So he challenged me to do it, laughing at me.
Today I went to the office really angry, I put the headphones on, with the song "Suicide Silence - O.C.D." in loop, and after 5 hours I solved the "big problem".
So, go fuck yourself Mr Senior, and RTFM.
Damn, I'm still listening that song.12 -
##REAL STORY##
Friend: Hey there, I have a Java Exam after one hour and I have a question for you.
Me: Great ! How can I help
F: They will give us a problem and ask us to solve it by writing a Java code.
Me: Okay,
F: That's it.
Me: Good, so were's the question.
F: Come on, of course I want to know how to solve it.
Me: Absolute Silence.
Me: friendsList.removeAll();10 -
I was asked to present a code I wrote previously. This was not planned. I shared my screen and presented. Things went well.
One employee asked me to search a particular term which was possibly related to an advance topic in the domain we were working on.
I opened Chrome and the first page had a Quora post: "Why my dull co-workers try to act smart and are not yet fired?".
[silence]3 -
Guy: *hands me sheet of paper* What does this code do?
Me: *looks through code written on the paper* Well, most likely segfault.
*awkward silence*7 -
"Can you make it pop more..."
A moment of silence please, for the same fucking, irritating word that every goddamn Joe, Jim and Jenny uses for describing how a site should look. What the hell is pop supposed to mean, you want an epilepsy warning I'll put some popping lights and nausea inducing Nyan cats across your screen. You want it to pop more, sure no problem...
There's a window over there, go fucking throw your PC out of it.11 -
Today at lunch we were talking about the bathroom conditions. At some point I commented:
"I don't go to the one closest to my office, the WiFi reception is terrible there."
*dead silence*
I can't be the only one, right? (posting this from the bathroom, BTW)13 -
The magical solution to everything.
It reminds me of the time when we were watching The Great Gatsby movie in honors English class. The the projector wouldn't work.
As a joke, one kid said, "try turning it off and turning it back on."
The whole class roared with laughter, until it actually worked. They stared at it in silence.3 -
A moment of silence for all the USB flash drives that we purchased and have no idea where they are or who did we borrow them to.7
-
I am so bad at Smalltalk.. really, I feel like an idiot every time, and every time I end up in silence. Just talk to me something it-related, I can't stop talking. Does this happens to you too?13
-
Friend: Hello dude, I have an idea that..
Me: (cuts in) no.
Friend: you didn't even hear me out!
Me: let me guess. You have a super idea you want us to work on. I will be the tech guy and you the business guy and we would get funding and that will make us super rich and make all those girls that looked down on us start chasing after us?
Friend: something of that nature.
(Silence).
Friend: well?
Me: I already said no.
Friend: just no?
Me: Oh I am sorry. No fucking way in hell.12 -
Do you spell it github or jithub?
So this person i met on one interview.
// Looking thru my resume
P: so you have put this code on jithub right?
Me: yeah, on github.
... // A moment of silence from him.
So, which one is the correct?18 -
9pm Project Manager: We have to push an update TONIGHT
9.45pm Devs: okay guys, all latest bugs are fixed, just needs final check and we can push the update
10:45pm Devs: Guys?...
11:45pm Guy in charge of testing: Uh doesn't work...
- What doesn't work?
- I dunno, I get an error message
- What's the (fucking) error message?!
Aaaaand silence
Fuck this I'm going to bed.6 -
Project manager : I want you to do the job by tomorrow.
Me : I can't, there's some problem with MySQL.
PM : Then use somebody else's SQL, but I want the job done by tomorrow!
Me : *weeps in silence*5 -
Classmate: You should use Bootstrap!
Me: Why?
Classmate: It's "the framework" that makes your site responsive.
Me: *a long moment of silence*
Me: *goes home*10 -
Reading some of the wk50 rants makes my blood run cold. brrrrr. They're terrifying.
While my story goes just like this.
Didn't know our manager(let's call him R) messaged us in our group chat that he won't make it to office for that day.
My account replied "Let's have moment of silence for those who left us. R, you will be missed. :'( Thank you for everything.".
I didn't notice the message until lunch time and my co-devs (with much back-slapping and laughing) told me I'm a gem. -_-
I just went to get some coffee, forgot to lock my unit and came back a murderer.
AND It was only my 2nd month on the job.6 -
DevRant was just loading very slow because of bad mobile internet. I told my mum that this could be loading faster, because it's mainly text (= no large videos) that needs to be transferred. My mum answered:
"Your smartphone doesn't know that tho".
Looooong silence. Very looooong silence.3 -
This happened just a few meters of me.
IT Guy: What happened sir?
IT Manager: WTF does the variable a4g646g54a6g54a65g654ag546a654g56a?
~awkward silence~
Still curious.2 -
So I was applying for a research position in linguistic department, and had the interview today.
Prof: So you know excel right
Me: (show a project to him to prove I at least know csv file)
Prof: Ok so you know excel.
Me: Yeah kinda.
Prof: Ok that's good. Cuz right now we are using amazon Turk, and the data they returned, which are excel files, are not really the way we want it.
Me: Ok sounds like a parser can fix it......
Prof: Yeah.... the students in the lab are doing it manually now
(Dead silence)
Prof: Ok move onto next matter7 -
*Doing a Peer Code Review of someone senior to me*
Me: This fix doesn't look like it will work, but maybe I don't understand. How does this fix the defect?
Senior Dev: *Blinks* It works on my machine
Me: But how does it work?
Senior Dev: It works when I run it on my machine...
Me: Do you know if this will fix the issue?
*Silence*
Never seen QA punt an issue back to development so fast.7 -
True story.
I had been working for 6 months at the same place surrounded by 6 people (3 of them in my work team) .
On January I receive a message on skype for business "Hello, happy new year :)"
I answered "thanks", 10 seconds later I see the name of who wrote the message, someone called let's say YYY, so I ask one of my coworkers, "do you know who is YYY?" and I hear a voice of the girl seated right in front of me for the last 6 months answering "It's me", "Oh!" I said.
Awkward silence....
Rant to myself for being a shitty non social person.10 -
Print 'Hello World' in ReactJS.
# Time - dies
# Memory - cries in silence
# C - gives an evil laugh7 -
I login this morning
Everyone going crazy as prod is broken in a million ways. 2.5 million exceptions In 24 hours.
We talk for 1 hour and solve nothing.
I diagnose the 2 biggest sources of exceptions and explain every step I took with screen snippets to reach my conclusions
The one other competent person on my team agrees. Otherwise complete silence.
I'm told not to fix the issue because I am leaving in 6 weeks and other people have to start taking responsibility.
No one fixes the issues. Instead they leave early. Now it's the weekend and the product is fucked.
Fucking useless people. Can't wait to leave.12 -
⏺ Procrastinating - SoundCloud on shuffle mode.
⏺Concentration lvl - NOOB or repeated work - Something that a mindless zombie could do. I play OneRepublic, Maroon 5, Coldplay, GreenDay, etc.
⏺ Concentration lvl - Serious - AudioMachine, Two Steps from Hell, etc
⏺ Concentration lvl God mode - I require absolute zero silence. You make as much a *sigh* anywhere within 4m radius of me, or I realise of your existence, you would wish you weren't born.4 -
Trying to explain to your spouse/significant other the great development you did at work today only to get the obligatory 10 second silence after you finish and a "Uh huh...that's great" head nod. Go me!2
-
Was working on a style.css file in school. One of my friend approached me and said what is that?
I said, CSS!
*silence*
Custom Sexy Styles?
*facepalm*6 -
On a company meeting there was a discussion wether to trigger an event by hover or mouse click for 20 minutes. then..
Me: "There is no mouse click without hover."
-- silence --5 -
QA: You need to write a test script for your new web app before it can go live
Me: ok, I'll write some tests in PHP unit and automate the tests.
QA: Oh, can you do that? We just normally write a list in excel then go through each line and write pass or fail at the end.
Me: yeah, good one.
QA: Umm, I'm not joking.
Queue awkward silence...4 -
Boss: here is a mac project, we have not enough time.
Me: what? I didn't not work with Mac and related languages ever!
Boss: yeah, but you are senior developer, this is not supposed to be that difficult to you..
Me: *moment of silence* just tell me who taught you it and project management. because you are the stupidest shitty boss that a developer could have4 -
Girl: hello this is amazon support center, hope you're feeling great today, how are you?
Me: im good...
Girl: glad to hear that, how may i help you?
Me: a few moments ago i was on... sigh, actually im not good im extremely sad right now because i was scammed on my amazon account for $250, im calling to ask if that product can be charged back.
*literally 30-60 seconds of silence*
Me: .....hello??
Girl: ok sir ill give u another line to call please dont hang up ok? stay with me
Me: maam im not doing suici
Girl: +1-532...
Me: ...2 -
Intern asked Manager how can one become a senior developer.
Manager explained and then, asked why?
Intern said that the senior developer was not able to fix the bug in his code for over 3 days while it took the Junior developer (me) around 10 minutes.
[Silence in the meeting]24 -
During a random meeting for a project:
PM: We'll need you to learn Go for this project. It says you know python in your job skills, so it should be easy.
Me: Uh, hiiii. I'm in security, not development. Can't help you, I really shouldn't even be here.
PM: I think Go has security built-in, does that help?
Me: ... I don't know, you need a developer.
PM: Do you know any Go people?
Me: I think that's something you should know.
- Silence enters the room -
PM: Yes perhaps, but you don't know anyone?
Fucking wat?8 -
Hey DevRant Community :)
I've been a silence lurker till now, but I really do enjoy scrolling through your new rants everyday, :D ... I'm now quite terrified of my first job interview, but that's alright... I guess... ._.
What I'm trying to say is.... Have a great day everyone :31 -
Worst of many. Had to work with someone who could be accurately described as a monkey in trousers with strategically cut fur.
Him: "I have refactored code now I have to refactor all your goddamn unit tests"
Me: "so?"
<silence>
<checks his commit>
Me: "why have you commented out every single line in all the unit tests?"
Him: "I DON'T BELIEVE WE SHOULD HAVE ANY UNIT TEST. THEY ADD TIME".
Me:"You cannot be serious. Apart from the obvious mistake in judgement why in the name of blue buggery fuck did you not delete the files? Have you not heard of source history?"
Him:"...."
I became his lead.
He left.5 -
Samsung's sending a “Note 7 Return Kit” with a Thermally-Insulated Box and Safety Gloves!!
2 mins silence to all those who purchased the note 7 😐5 -
Why do programmers need long periods of silence on the job?
Brilliantly written.
https://quora.com/Why-do-programmer...?5 -
I had a co worker who was a bit of a robot with little to none tact or social skills (let's call him Bob Bot). Once, we had one of those company events where pointy haired boss had the cringe worthy idea of having everyone share an "unusual secret" about themselves as a team building exercise.
"So Bob Bot, what is your secret?"
Bob (in the same tone you would use to deliver the weather forecast): "So for those who don't know yet, I am polyamorous. This means that I have multiple sex partners at the same time."
(Dead silence in the room)
Bob: "Oh but wait...she gets to have multiple sex partners as well!"
And that kids, was a great example of gender equality! -
I’m the embodiment of lazy...
I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.
Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.
Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).
Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫7 -
A moment of silence for the javascript devs downloading a 13MB of this guy along with their babel transpiler.5
-
Lets have a moment of silence for the devs who created IE and Edge.
I'm sure many who worked on them are great devs and at one point were very proud and inspired by their work but upper management ultimately fucked everything up. The IE guys have since been ridiculed and the Edge devs had to create a peice of software that they knew was destined to be one of the most critically reviewed and ridiculed releases ever.
My heart goes out to all of you and we would love to hear your rants. Your welcome here anytime.4 -
[OC] Don't let the nature get to you only as a pixels on your screen!
Free your mind and don't forget the real world is out there, waiting for you to help you think, calm yourself and please you in the silence of a forest ~
No fans spinning9 -
When the client asks why you billed them for something that was supposedlly your fault and takes a defense when you turn around with the emails and documentation to support that the code is working like it should and was requested by them... Awkward silence... And they still come back with well could you knock off half the hours. Client==fired
Side note.......have been having issues with this clent for a year so it was their time coming.1 -
I was sitting in the University when a cute girl we know asked us If we have a Chewing Gum with mint flavour. We hadn't, but a friend of mine replied with 'I've got Linux Mint! In case you wanna try... "
Advanced silence or about 3 minutes after that...4 -
Apparently, working from home means "you are available 24/7 right?" at my current workplace. I am grateful that I have a job, but I do not dig getting emails or my guys getting harassed after hours for things that would normally have to wait until the next day.
I also dislike getting woken up by the Head of Department 1 hour to 2 hours before normal time because of something super-duper-zomg urgent that would normally wait. Which is why my phone is now on silence for phone calls and my notifications for emails is out after hours.11 -
Ladies and gentlemen... Can we please have a moment of silence for my PC which seems to be on her last legs...
CPU thermal throttling at 40 degrees celcius (CPU is on it's way out)
RAM is randomly having allocation errors
PSU isn't delivering optimal current
GPU only displays out of 2 DP ports
and for the very first time... Have had an SSD fail...
Pray for me people... Please14 -
Hello {Project}, my old friend. I've come to debug you again
Because the scope is softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was developing
And the misery that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence...
In restless dreams I debugged alone
Narrow file of cobbled code
‘Neath the halo of a desk lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of git checkin
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand bugs and maybe more
People coding without asking
People coding without listening
People writing code that they never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
Fools, said I, you do not know
{Project} like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence.
And the people bowed and prayed
To the kludgy app they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence
<-- Found in my documents, no clue where it's from5 -
When Coronavirus become a household name, our Manager said:
"This is a good to time to build a real-time chat system like Zoom. If anyone is able to build something like it, it will help our company grow."
[Silence]
Manager: "There is a lot of demand."
[More silence]12 -
Jingle fuck, jingle fuck,
Jingle fuck away.
Oh what fun it is to hear
silence on the Christmas day.2 -
A minute of middle-fingered-silence to those fuckers who buy expensive high end machines and play finch stupid video games like counter strike and all and fucking don't let their roommate sleep!!!!
Fuck you roommate!!
Fuck steam.18 -
!rant
I have t shirt which has 1+1=10 written over it. In my family all are from non science background.so they laugh at me whenever i wear that shirt.
Once i got frustrated and yelled " you will never git it".
*,awkward silence*
Wish i had cs related family background -.-5 -
Poor soul...
A moment of silence for our fellow dev whom had to experience such a horrendous pain.4 -
Dev lead on another team: Ok we can build that API for the mobile apps, we'll generate everything, generate printable images for the labels, persist it all and do all the relevant lookups and checks. Do you need an SLA?
Director: Yes, 9ms
*silence*
Lead: Sorry .... 9ms?
Director: yeah, its a must have
Lead: ... the speed of light wouldn't even let us transmit it that fast18 -
"So, just show me the dirty and nasty things in this 'internet' thing...I mean, this nsfw stuff...c'mon..."
"How about the source code of my last project?"
<silence> -
I SWEAR TO FUCK IF ADOBE CANT GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER
WHY CANT AFTER EFFECTS LOAD AUDIO LONGER THAN 4 MINUTES
WHY DOES IT SILENCE THE AUDIO PAST THAT POINT
WHY DOES IT NOT NOTIFY YOU THAT IT WILL SILENCE THE AUDIO
IM GOING TO STRANGLE SOMEONE6 -
Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.
Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!7 -
This is a program of the Russian TV channel called CTC on 9th of May. From top to bottom:
- Shrek
- Shrek 2
- Shrek the Third
- A minute of silence for those who fell in the fight with the fascism
- Shrek the Third
- Shrek Forever12 -
Am I the only one who thinks recruitment processes are lower quality the more the industry evolves?
I just shocked an interviewer by saying i’m not checking all their boxes from the ad, after being pushed by their hr to take the interview, regardless beeing made sure by HR thats not a problem.
After interview radio silence. i don’t get it...first you headhunt someone, spend 3 weeks in convincing for an on-site and then you can’t even bother sending a “Dude you are not what we look for in the end” mail?
Guess I ask too much from recruiters, did anyone else encountered this?3 -
Success to me is silence. No phone calls, no emails, no "why doesn't this work?"
It's when you made something that works in the background, almost invisibly, that others could take for granted but that they also don't bother you with because it is still working as designed.1 -
Client (on Tuesday): I was X features on my website before the weekend!
Me: Sure thing, I can do that. Just a reminder, my rates are $Y/hr and the changes won’t go up until I’ve been paid in full.
(Thursday morning)
Me: Here’s the changes you’ve requested on the test environment, please review. Also here’s the invoice for my work, as soon as that’s paid I can upload the changes.
Annnnnddd silence since then... I’m glad that I don’t have to count on just one client’s payment, but if you wanted before the weekend and I have it all set up, please don’t ghost me.2 -
Literally everone were advertising me LinkedIn as something awesome and life-changing.
So I've registered as well, filled it up with a lot of info. It's been about 6 months since then - still silence.
Such disappointment.9 -
Open source...
Apple: F*** Open Source!!!! Money's our god!!!!
Google: Let's make MONEYYYYYY... and then give code
Microsoft: Ya... ok... yeah... no... sry but we have do to some money...
Linux: OPEN SOURCE FOR EVERYONE!!!!! IT'S FREE!!!!!! hey... guys... what ain't you coming, I'm lonely *Play "sound of silence"*7 -
Finally, got this piece of beauty and badass combined, just to get some peace at work...
Now, dare those noisy neighbors, who doesn't silence their mobile and laptops, making loud chimes in IM, playing music on speakers and knocking at my desk when I'm on headphones and clearly don't want to be disturbed...7 -
The worst one was my mother calling me to say "The ambulance is here so they are taking me to ER, I might have a stroke. Call you...".
And then silence... I called my brother who was as freaked out as me. As it was like a couple of months after my father died...
And she forgot her mother fucking smartphone!!!! The next fucking morning the hospital called us!!! Worst time ever!!!!2 -
Head of department: Do we have license key for ubuntu os on our systems?
Lab assistant: Yess!!
Everyone else: No!!! It is open source
*awkward silence*
HOD leaves without saying a word after that
😂😂😂4 -
After zero contact for approx 4-5 years I get an Instagram message:
Old work buddy: Hello, I have a website question for you
Me: Ok
OWB: Hope you’re well, btw
Me: *hmmmmm*
OWB: basically blah blah blah can’t get this part of this Wordpress theme to work
Me: I’ll have a quick look. Oh btw I have big news...
OWB: You up the duff?
Me: Yep!
OWB: Congrats...do you think you can help with the website?
Me: Probably not at the moment and it looks like a pig of a job to make the theme work properly.
OWB: *silence*17 -
Sunday afternoon extra work..
New guy: what do you do?
Me: backend, mainly
New guy: c#?
Me: yeah, but not just..
New guy: so you're good at it?
Me: I'm a fucking proctologist
Awkward silence, followed by nerdy giggling -
Let's take a minute of silence for all of our fellow developers currently involved in monolith migration projects.2
-
When the new keyboard you ordered arrives at work (it's for at home) and your team lead remarks 'that is a big dildo you got there'. I did fire back by asking him if he was jealous which led to sudden silence. Still disappointed in him, we do rib each other all the time but this feels sexist and inappropriate. I'm used to it and laugh it off but I'd still expected better of him.13
-
Head of IT department asked me to configure Apache from phpmyadmin. There occured 5 seconds of silence after he said that.6
-
Was on a call today...nobody knew who owned or was responsible for one of the servers. My manager has a great way of finding out...he says "If I take my hammer and smash the server to pieces...who gets pissed." A moment of silence then someone speaks up..."Oh well then that would be Joe down the hall."
That my friends is how to get answers. Threaten to break things.5 -
A moment of silence to those working on multiple clients with multiple deadlines at the same time but still got time here.5
-
Friend of mine who is not a Dev and loves to go out sees me few days ago with a couple of Dev friends...
Dude what's going on? Dude dude let me tell you about this chick... 1 hour later story ends. We gave him respect as one Dev should to a non dev and started talking about IDEs and how the new VS Code is pretty awesome.
He interrupts and goes ... that chick Venesa Code, is she hot? Would you?
Silence ... We would, we all would. -
So they took away our offices in favour of an open layout. This would have been fine if it was just us 3 devs and the manager, but we're sharing a space with network techs, help desk, the manager's secretary and an Accounts department all with little to no separation.
I'm now in the midst of incessant ringing of phones, idle chatter and raucous laughter with nowhere to retreat to for silence; I have no idea how/when I'm going to get any work done now. 😥😞
The organisation I work for is a f**king joke when it comes to management making any kind of logical decision.12 -
My friend is a 1st time programmer. When we learned about tabs vs spaces in our mandatory beginners c++ class, the friend said "what, you can use spaces?" and I said "yes, of course, like this!" and demonstrated it. The friends reply, without knowing about the controversy, made my day:
*silence*
"well, thats dumb"3 -
Just over heard, Dev A was reviewing another team's code ...
Senior Dev A: "I don't understand this teams code. I hate WebAPI. Wish we could use X."
Senior Dev B: "Why can't we use X?"
Senior Dev A: "It's frowned upon."
Senior Dev B: "By whom?"
- couple of seconds of silence -
Senior Dev A: "X is not a Microsoft technology"
- few more seconds of awkward silence -
Senior Dev A: "X is magnitudes slower than WebAPI anyway."
Senior Dev C: "What? How much slower?"
- caught off guard..didn't know Senior Dev C didn't have his headphones on -
Senior Dev A: "Um...I don't know, that is what you told me."
Senior Dev C: "I never said that. I've never used X. I prefer WebAPI anyway, but both WebAPI and X use REST based protocols, I doubt X is magnitudes slower. Actually, I think you told me WebAPI was slower."
Senior Dev A: "Different paradigm."
- second or two of silence -
Senior Dev B: "What?"
Senior Dev A: "Hey, did you see on twitter ..."
Have no idea where he thought that conversation was going. Maybe he was hoping the other devs would dog-pile/attack the code. Pretty funny it backfired. His face when Dev C said 'I never said that' was priceless. Like "Oh -bleep- ..how do I lie out of this one? ...quick, distract with random words or a twitter post" -
It's 2.30 a.m. here. Had a very emotionally bad day and I don't feel like sleeping now. Fuck you emotions!! :(
I guess I could enjoy the silence at least... and devRant4 -
At this day, July 18 in Eastern timezones, one of the globally recognized animation studios in Japan, Kyoto Animation - more known as KyoAni, has been deliberately burned by an arsonist, and has claimed 20 lives and counting.
Please give a moment of silence for the fallen in KyoAni. All they wanted was to make people smile despite the low wage situation and Japan and this happens.8 -
Nightmare IRL:
Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.
You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.
Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.
Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.
PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"
FML6 -
Stories from a Startup #1
CEO walks into co-worker's office, staring longingly out of the window at the lake below.
After a brief moment of silence, the CEO speaks...
"I wonder if that swan ever thinks... about me?"1 -
!Rant
How do you deal with open space offices?
I find it quite difficult to focus, the constant chatting, the constant questions, phone ringing, surprise meeting, more question, arrays of interruptions and questions again. I believe I would be a lot more productive if left alone in the total, undiscontinued silence.
Have you found your escape, your zen, your inner focus? Please share, I need some ideas16 -
The god damned education system in my country is completely fucked up. They teach TurboC++ in the name of programming, something that is no use in this world. This 80s ide is no use but it's compulsory to use turbo. Microsoft has fuckin removed support for 16 bit but they the syllabus won't change. I sent the concerned authorities an email about this but radio silence. This is too damn irritating.10
-
Yesterday I met my cousins who are old enough to have kids. It was a good talk with them bringing back the old memories. One of my cousins has a barely 5 year old kid. I tried to talk to her and the conversation went like this:
Me: “hey there! Hi, how are you?”
She: “Good. What do you do?”
Me: “I am a computer science engineer. What do you wanna be when you grow up?”
She: “A scientist.”
Me: **thinking calmly, “Oh, what kind of scientist?”
She: “A Data Scientist.”
Me: **Two seconds of silence and decides to leave...4 -
Oculus (Meta/Facebook) support be like:
- Hello, I have an issue. Tracking has stopped working after one of the updates
- <silence>
- Hello, I'm another fellow who has this problem
- Hello, here,s a link where a bunch of people are complaining about the same
- Hi, I am from the Oculus side. We will check it and let you know
** marks ↑↑ comment as SOLUTION **
Case closed! Good job everybody.
https://communityforums.atmeta.com/...2 -
During the meting DevOps were discussing some problem, suddenly a PM spoke up "I am browsing SO right now and someone already had time problem before and it was answered. I don't know what XYZ is but why you didn't google the problem at first place."
A long moment of silence.
You can't help us with random SO post...2 -
One day I will renovate our summer place, bring a top team of developers, spend the summer close to nature at a beautiful place where silence fucking exists and create something awesome.2
-
Can we all just have a moment of silence for BASIC...
Got caught in a YouTube spiral watching nostalgia need and never realised how big and important BASIC was when it came to home PC's (I'm 21 so have no actual experience with said PC's)...
Also that leads me to the question as to why BASIC isn't still used?
It's actually a really legible language ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5 -
*Me studying at the library*
*dead silence*
*A guy sits across the table with his laptop*
*starts typing*
KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLACK KLICKITY KLACK
Inner Me: :-| *wth*
You couldn't type any more louder tha..
KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLICK KLACK KLACK KLACK KLICKITY KLACK KLACK KLACK...
Maybe the big "Silence Please" sign doesn't count keyboard noises
His laptop had one of those soft touch keyboards, that no one would hear anything if you type on them.
I guess he was trying to be a pretentious hax0r or something lol
He left soon enough, so, that was fortunate.. 😅3 -
Client: can you put the instagram icons on our websites.
Me: yes, could you send me the links?
Silence for 2 weeks.
Waiting for a bollocking now and I just know it's going to be my fault. Why are people such wankers. I fucking hate my job, the part that involves interacting with wankers with huge egos and no clue about anything.2 -
Got a phone interview for a web dev internship while in school. I only took a very intro web design/dev course, and wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue that career. It went well in the beginning though I was getting more and more nervous. Then they asked what I learned in that class. I suddenly remembered something and rambled how the teacher talked about how outdated and not mobile-friendly tables are, and we should never use it in layout. There was a few seconds of silence and someone spoke out "well table is still very useful and we use it a lot in our website".
I didn't get the internship :-) -
Me,: we devs need silence to be able to focus properly, and to develop good quality software.
Marketing guy: we need to hang a frame on the wall.
Other marketing guy: yeah, let's grab the drill and make several holes, fuck those devs.4 -
Sometimes I spend entire days working dark-to-dark with my headphones on
... without even listening to anything
And if I happen to be "in the zone", after the whole day of having my headphones on and not listening to anything, I take them off and feel like it's so quiet out of a sudden. It feels like I was in a noisy discussion (with myself) whilst I was "in the zone".
Just sharing my observations :)5 -
There was a workshop about git in our university and I was the teacher.
After teaching main concept of version control and git commands I was talking about open source community and github repository. First I should notice /pul/ in my language means money.
When I was talking about pulling changes from repository one of the student raised his hand and ask me "Why they would give us money?"
After seconds of silence I had feeling between laughing and crying1 -
TIL the best way to “win” an argument on Twitter is to simply abandon the thread when people think you should answer for your “crime” of having a difference of opinion and they start bringing social justice nonsense into it as a replacement for logic. They’re going on and on about how you are obligated to reply to them to answer for your alleged “privilege” and your silence just makes them sputter with rage.8
-
Today:
Someone: OMGz I have a demo in an hour and I need X, Y, Z.
-at this point it's not a big ask-
Me: Ok there that's good.
Someone: Also A,B,C!!!
Me: Ok you need to tell me D, E, F...
-radio silence ... clock continues to click...-
ʅ(´◔౪◔)ʃ -
Colleague: Let's see the luna(r) eclipse.
Me: But that was a while ago.
Colleague: No it is today. Let's go out and see.
Me: Out.!! But how could you run eclipse there?
Colleague: What??
Me: What..?? Oh...!!
*awkward silence*
All the while I was thinking why would a node dev require eclipse, when he could perfectly work with something like vscode. Feels so stupid. -
Craziest prep for an interview?
Way back when I interviewed devs, I prepped a bank of Simpsons and Star Trek trivia questions if the candidate answered one of the softball questions ("What are your hobbies?", etc ) that related to either subject. On rare occasion a candidate claimed to be a big trekkie so I asked..
<Deep Space Nine was in it's 5th season>
Me: "What was the name of Captain Sisko's ship?"
C: "Sisko? Was he from the original series?"
Me: "No, Deep Space Nine"
<awkward silence>
C: "Is that the new series?"
Me: "Not really, but lets do an original series question. What does the middle initial 'T' stand for in James T Kirk?"
<awkward silence>
C: "I have no idea. I don't think it stands for anything."
He didn't make the cut.
My boss at the time said I should not document any of those questions/answers just in case we are sued for discrimination.36 -
Alright ladies and Gents, i find this topic very interesting but who cannot code without listening and who cannot code without silence
If your in the music listening category, what music genre hits that coding sorcery zone for you?22 -
My last day at my current company and damn, I couldn‘t be happier. Consulting was the worst decision I ever made and from tomorrow on I‘ll be free.
No more lying to clients, no more pushing of horrible products, no more silence towards problems because they didn‘t pay for a more expensive service.
I can finally stop hating myself for my job!3 -
My Favorite Senior Dev: Hmm, I don't understand this error.
Neighboring, Competent SQL Developer Coworker: What does it say?
Senior Dev: It says, "Cannot insert the value NULL into column 'person', table 'PEOPLE'; column does not allow nulls..."
*5 minute silence*4 -
How we click notifs in devRant.
1-1. SOMEONE mentioned you in a comment!
1-2. SOMEONE commented on your rant!
2. SOMEONE ++'d your rant!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
999. SOMEONE ++'d your comment!
1000. One (or more) new comments on a rant/collab you commented on!
Sorry creators, but..... (silence, drops mic)1 -
Most awkward video conference call?
Our department is in a 'virtual' book club, reading The Unicorn Project, and I asked..
Me: "So what similarities have you seen with the Phoenix project and projects we work on here?"
Dale: "Ha ha..sooo many. The biggest is the disconnect of managers with no clue of what goes on."
<Vice president of our department also in the book club>
VP: "Really? Dale, I'd like to know more about this."
<awkward silence with blank stares all around>
DBA: "Come on Dale...spill the beans. Got the VP right there."
Dale: "Um...nope...not going there...nope"
<Dale's screen goes black>
VP: "OK, so when Maxine asks ..." -
API Documentation: All API request should be made over https connections.
Me: Ok, (sees url bar), SECURE, good!
(sees curl code)
curl -X GET 'http://shittyapi.com/api/v2/users'
Me: (gasps) huh?
(heads to http://shittyapi.com/api/v2)
Me: Ok, (sees address bar) NOT SECURE
.
.
.
.
.
(long silence)5 -
Database lost connection to the application.
Chaos.
Anybody did anything on the network?
Silence.
Go to datacenter and start reviewing cables.
Nobody touch anything on the weekend? Really? It is not possible...
45min later looking into connectivity tracing... I just overhear:
"I just changed a switch, but nothing else. This is probably the DB having a hiccup."
Ughhhh! I hate our cable network maintenance!!1 -
I swear every one of this week's weekly rant could be remixed together with the sound of silence playing over it all...
EDIT: now that I've said this I really want to do it...5 -
"Did you get it?"
"Yes. I GIT it"
* Silence *
"Oh. What were you saying?"
Things that happen when I'm coding. -
My Unix class
👨💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script
Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!3 -
Name The Song.
One a side note, what do you listen to while coding? Do you need absolute silence to code?23 -
I must use windows at work and after 5 years of using mac I can say that windows is fucking loud, fucking beeps everywhere. Like you fucking do anything that has no results it’s beep - that’s fucking crazy I feel like I’m on some fucking road with assholes all over the place beeping on me.
I can work in silence on my mac, no software beeps by default.
Fucking Hell how can you listen to beep all day ?18 -
Client A: "So, how about those features I told you yesterday? Can it work? Have you discuss it with your team?"
Me: "Yes, it would possibly have to extend the due date a little bit more..."
Client A: "Meaning?"
Me: "You have to pay more."
*Another 15mins awkward silence moment*
Client A: "I don't understand."
Seriously, get some other guy to do the meeting please...I am not good in PR....3 -
I am not good with kids. I know I know. Last week or so, my managers kid thought it would be a good idea to hijack my meeting. I was sharing my screen and on full blown explanation mode, only to realise after my explanation, it was the kid who was looking at my face and not the boss man.
God I panicked. I was like 'Who the hell are you?'
--------*INSERT AWKWARD SILENCE HERE *---------2 -
!rant
Anyone else who can't focus while listening to music? I can't grasp how that's not annoying to people.
The sound of silence.
For real, the best coding flows happen then.
If there is something that I can hear and process, my train of thought behaves like a dream behaves when you wake up in the morning.
Even worse are children, humming, whistling or munching as the ONLY sound in that silence, Im scorching inside when that happens.
If I can't be somewhere silent (preferably completely), I block the distractions with binaural beats and/or sound of rain.26 -
Thanksgiving dinner:
"What are you doing these days"
"I'm a programmer"
"Ah"
*Cold silence*
"... Who watched football"
mfw4 -
I'm sending my love to all the millions of people out there suffering in silence, ones with unfathomable trauma and pain, all fighting battles known to none. I respect those who decided to end it all rather than to keep waiting for help that will never come to them.
-
:/ rant
Lately more and more clients had been asking me to build their sites in Wordpress, wish follows by me asking them why. Their most common answer: - "Everybody is using it, because is easier to use and secure."
Me: (Silence)...3 -
was invited to contribute to a project. after about 60 commits in a row, multiple refactorings and several added modules it feels like having highjacked the project. the owner sits in silence. prolific but awkward.2
-
Late night after everyone has slept, switching on all the 3 monitors, reclining on a comfortable chair, fetching some snacks and coffee by the table gives me the perfect mood to code!
There is silence all around 😌2 -
I hate working in silence so I always have Netflix in the background. My boss doesn't mind. Anyone else does this?5
-
This wanker approached me via LinkedIn before new year to be team lead to a diverse team of devs spread over a few time zones.
The mission? Build a metacritic clone, but geographically constrained to New York.
Me : How much are you offering?
Him: <radio silence>1 -
HR: What is Java?
Me: Ah... OOP... uhm... is a programming language... *awkward silence*... Yep, that's all
HR: Congrats, you have bombed the interview
Source: Me from few days ago ._.5 -
Whatsapp REALLY needs a feature to silence the notifications for messages that are image only!
I'm now stuck having to communicate with a group for work so I had to un-silence it's notifications but I get sent 100+ memes and videos a day by EVERYONE else.
As much as I love them if I have to stop coding to check my phone only to find a fucking meme one more time I think I'm gonna snap...3 -
Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg broke several days of silence in the face of a raging privacy storm to go on CNN this week to say he was sorry. He also admitted the company had made mistakes; said it had breached the trust of users; and said he regretted not telling Facebookers at the time their information had been misappropriated.
From techcrunch article.13 -
Writing some software for a school while sitting in their support-department.
A teacher comes in and asks if we can find the email adress or facebook of a woman he met on vacation because he wants to send her something.
Someone asks: 'what do you want to send her?'
A two second long silence followed...
Everyone starts laughing.
Teachers... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
Anyone else here that, if working on a challenging problem, just needs silence (rather than music or background noise?) Seems to be an increasingly rare thing, especially with younger folk.
If I'm just doing boilerplate coding / something not too challenging I can work with whatever. If I really need to think however - I do that way better with no auditory distraction.8 -
So recently moved to a new place. New roommates. Thought lets initiate a talk. Found out one of em is a web developer.
Me: So, what you working on?
Him: Web technologies
Me: oh great...I worked on ReactJS and AngularJS.
Him: Our company uses AngularJS.
Me: So you work on AngularJS, right?
Him: Oh no I don't work on AngularJS...I am a frontend developer...
(Awkward silence)
(Inner me: No shit. Need to find new place.)
Should I tell him?1 -
Fucking multilanguage mind.
My language capability is literally splitting in half making me more and more retarded/incapable in both languages (my native and English).
The main reason is that my daily reading and listening is mostly in English(and happen online) meanwhile I work and have to interact at the job in native language, which is much less demanding of native language interactions because I code in silence 😣
If only the native language content was as good and as interesting as the English one, but Italy doesn't an alternative to hackernews, FUCK ME7 -
Windows 10 why you turn on my PC at night and then doing your restart for update AND AFTER THAT YOU CANT HIBERNATE PC LIKE IT WAS? YOU DUMBASS IM SLEEPING RIGHT NEXT TO THAT BEAST. I WANT SILENCE. Linux users pls rant with me. Thank you devrant, now I can go to sleep after sharing my frustration.9
-
Rule #1 about devRant... No names. Never know when they'll sign up, see it, and make the connection. That's gonna make for some awkward elevator silence.2
-
Me: Who wrote this fu$$in mess of code? Never mind, we will get the dirty hacker.
*Runs git blame*
*Silence*
Me: What a innovative way to solve the problem! I'm a genius! -
About coding music.
Sometimes I like music, sometimes I need absolute silence (I wear shooting earmuffs for those times).
But holy crap if a song has that weird repeated fade in fade out the music shit in it, that is NOT CODING MUSIC!8 -
The worst rejection was one after a first interview and a subsequent 3 hour code challenge. I was super nervous as it was my first code challenge in an interview that was one of my first. I wasn't confident when I submitted my work, but the time was up and so there wasn't much to be done.
The rejection was simple. Pure silence. No arguments, or feedback. Just didn't hear nothing back and that didn't help my fresh out of university self-confidence.1 -
I typically get constantly interrupted. It’s become part of my workflow. I wish I could work in silence a lot of the time.1
-
Got through an entire day at work with just a "good morning" and "have a good weekend". Team was focused today - it was a good day!
-
Have you ever been hangover at work?
What's the worst hangover you experienced?
I once puked on my keyboard (just a little bit) and spent the next 2 hours cleaning it in total silence while my coworkers couldn't stop laughing and making jokes ;_;3 -
!rant
I'm sitting in my RV and it's been raining for two days almost non-stop.
Is there anything more wonderful than rain falling on the roof of the car? I love that sound. Nightly silence and rain. -
A moment of silence for all the times we were excited about finding the solution for an algorithm only for it to not work.
-
One year of work for request info on a new project, silence... First day of vacancy, request a how to on a function implemented 3 month ago. Fuck You...1
-
Public transport is slowly getting quieter and quieter. One side of my enjoys the silence and space, but the other side wishes I had the option to not take it either.
Everyone WFH, I envy you...2 -
We got new workstations today and the following happened:
Me: We got your new workstation but your screen doesn't have the right input to use it, so we'll exchange it too.
Her: No! I love that monitor!
Me: Well you won't be able to use the computer if you don't wanna change it.
Her: There has to be a different way!
Me: Okay I'm going to get some adapters and we'll try again.
After literally 30 minutes of searching I finally made it work.
VGA->DVI->HDMI->DisplayPort
That just felt so wrong.
Me: So it works now
Her: Thanks but why does it look so bad?
Me: It's because of the old monitor.
Her: Oh... *10 seconds silence* Then I'll get a new one.2 -
I'm working as a software intern and the room where I work is almost always quiet. And then there's some people who come in and talk, but at that point I don't mind because it's better than straight silence. Anyway, yeah2
-
God bless Silenz App for Mac, I can listen to music and stay aware of the bullshit discussion around me.
https://silenzapp.com/1 -
You can't have order without a little bit of PUBLIC DISORDER.
Now, is disorder this order or is this order disorder? Now why do you have to save the world heavy on disorder.
I think I'm somewhere between the sacred silence, and sleep.1 -
Old but gold:
(Context: https://github.com/formatjs/...)
Devs: Please give us an option to silence warnings. They are spamming the console.
Maintainer: I don't like that
Devs: Can you at least make them actual warnings instead of printing them as errors?
Maintainer: -
Customer service my ass. I wouldn't even call it service. All you could do is check if it's working now. Of course it's working... I've just told you it's fucking working 2 minutes then inaccessible for fucking 10.
And when I tell you that your service had began to loose quality in the past few months you just sit there in FUCKING SILENCE. MOTHERFUCKER JUST TELL ME THAT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT... OR SORRY... OR GO FUCK YOURSELF, NOT MY JOB... I DON'T FUCKING CARE JUST DON'T SIT THERE IN SILENCE UNTIL I HAVE ENOUGH AND HANG UP... I WASN'T EVEN SHOUTED TO HIM. I was disappointed but not angry... Not until you decided to just ignore me, fucktard...
Needless to say just when I hung up it stopped working again. -.-4 -
[talking with an English company]
> this is our VP of Engineering
me: cool, who's the President of Engineering then?
*endless silence and confusion*1 -
A YouTube creator I follow included a clip of The Chicken Song by Spitting Image in a video. I had managed to, for over a decade, forget this song existed.
Now it’s back.
To haunt my every moment of silence.
Again.
😭5 -
After office time. That time really works. Learn from online courses. And apply it. No one will be there. Silence!1
-
I find myself a lot more productive when I don't listent to any music. I tried to switch between different music genres, but I find out that silence is the best for me.4
-
"The silence isn't so bad
'Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly"
-Me to my PS4 Controller -
!poll
wich music genre are you listening to while programming or do you prefer silence ?
me: hip hop in my native language17 -
Every day on my train ride, there's at least one person on a phone talk talking inappropriately loud. Sometimes I just want to get up and smack their phones...
I get that you have to maka a quick phone call to tell your Girlfriend you'll be there in a minute, or to talk about something really really urgent.But please keep it short and simple. I thought about buying a jammer, but shit's expensive and most probably illegal :/2 -
Post BA Phil degree pre CS degree
My parents - oh cool
My extended family - 'I thought you were going to go to law school, wow how many times are you going to change your mind?' 'who is going to pay for another degree, oh yeah your parents, kids these days' 'so what are you going to do with that Philosophy degree?' 'What are you going to do when mommy stops supporting you?'
Post CS Degree, employed doing what I love, paying off my loans
My parents - yay
My extended family - sweet f*cking silence, and the occasional 'oh so you are working on computers now?'
HA1 -
A minute of silence..
...for the product managers who want the COOL 'Flash' app remain untouched in the code! -
When the manager wants something, it's discussed and agreed upon by the entire team, it's implemented and 2 days later the boss tells you to take it down and that stuff shouldn't be implemented without discussing it with him. And the manager just stands there in silence fully knowing it was his idea. Be or don't be the manager I don't care, but pick one.1
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Am I the only one that can only work with pure silence or white noise? Any kind of music/distraction will mess up my concentration.3
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Worst disturbance: me, with an ANC headset, listening to some music or documentary.
Then a burst of laughing coming through all this sound engineering – the VP marketing, discussing by phone with some 1K-followers "influencer".
Yeah, the same VP that says that she needs silence to focus on the email she's writing when the intern ask her some important question. -
me: I need to install Firefox for automates test
ops: no
me: need it to run tests PO wants tests
ops: you can't as it is a desktop app
me: I need it because our selenium tests depends on it
ops: Firefox needs 200 other packages can't install
me: can I use Docker? and docker'ise Firefox
ops: ... some silence...
me: please
ops: it will complicate things
me: ಠ_ಠ2 -
hdparm -y /dev/sdb # to the rescue for the silence
turns out I could simply reorganize my mounts and spin down my hdd. Now at last can I enjoy the silence...
If I try to listen carefully I can only hear street noises from across the river and a few 9-stores buildings [something ~600 meters] through a closed plastic window and absolutely nothing from my PC.
Now.. Next mission: how to silence those street noises...5 -
When I created stubmatic (a http mock application), we were using it in our internal project. First time when some other project expressed their interest, I was happy and eager to help.
So the person they sent for the training asked me his first question: "I followed all the steps, but It is not working"
I quickly checked his code and replied "you're using GET instead of POST method"
Then his second and last question about stubmatic was "why don't your code understand which method has to be used? Why should a client need to tell every time?"
Ummm... silence -
so my friend and I are canvassing NLEs for our guys at the Post Production squad in our project (we were in charge in infrastructure). We looked at Premiere since it's kinda ok until we found Black Magic Design's Da Vinci Resolve.
First of all, I was suprised with the price. 299 for the Studio Version? Holy fuck, that's cheap as hell! Then there's a free as in free software version which has the core editing features with 1080p rendering. So we grabbed that and kinda suprised it requires postgres but as seeing Resolve having collab and render queues, it makes sense.
Installed them on the PCs the postprods gonna use, they were amazed. We literally saved 500 bucks for an NLE. When they asked how much is it. Our reply was:
"That's free".
and there was silence...
"And it's also 299 bucks for the cooler version".
And silence still ensued.
Guess our guys wasted alot of money on a pipeline that is cheap as hell but more jam-packed than any other NLE found in the market.
Props to you BlackMagic Design. -
I can’t code without dead silence. I cannot concentrate on coding whatsoever unless there is dead silence in my house which leads me to usually coding in the middle of the night so I don’t hear people. Then I lose sleep and I lose my health. Anyone else?6
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What's occurring? Asked my friend.
A reoccurring decimal! I said.
*Awkward silence for the next hour* -
When integrating our system with a 3rd party company to use their billing system, we had a Hangouts chat so we could ask things about their documentation, API, etc...
Me: *explain the problem and how I tried to solve it without success, and proceed to ask 3 things*
*2h of silence*
3rd.p: Good Morning
Me: Good Morning
*another 2h of silence*
Me: ...and?
*1h of silence*
3rd.p: *answer randomly one of the questions*
Me: ok, and the other two questions?
*silence until the next day*
Me: ???
3rd.p: *answer one question and says that the other will never happen*
Me: but... I've just sent a request to your backend and it happened!!!
*2h of silence*
3rd.p: No, you are reading this wrong, we didn't respond that
Me: This is the endpoint i'm calling and the request's payload, send this to your backend.
*silence until the next day*
(and this continues to almost 2 months to complete the integration that should not need more than 1 week)3 -
So... what the fuck is wrong with people in this company for fucks sake!
Dudes use promises and always call resolve()
Me: And how do you fucking handle errors?!
Dude: Well we call resolve with 2 arguments and error goes first obviously!
Me: why no callbacks for fucks sake!!
Manager(defending the dude): you don't understand we told the client that we would use bluebird promises. Client liked it so much that is why we got the job in the first place!
Me: (jaw opened - silence)....
Dude:(goes out happy for winning the argument)3 -
Truncated a database of around 14 million records today... Had 2 minutes of silence after it with my buddies @hahaha1234 and @papierbouwer1
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Can we have a Moment of silence please
https://sebastiandedeyne.com/moment...
I only found this library a couple of months ago and instantly loved it as it made working with JS date so much easier.
Sorry for the pun btw, i couldn’t resist 😂7 -
Silence and an interesting project go a long way. If I'm really interested in a project that means I'll spend hours a day (even when I don't have them) working on it, and incidentally, procrastinating on other things.
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Cognitive overload: the silent slayer of developers.
Especially when you're bad at assessing your own capabilities and choose to sacrifice sleep without concern for taking actual time to enjoy the silence and tranquility of.. nothing.
Sometimes it's pretty hard to not go mad when those old gods whisper your demise. -
When it's early into the night
When the temperature is just right
When I'm surrounded by silence
And no distraction makes me defiance
When I'm feeling cozy and ready to read papers and program for my thesis
But I ruined the perfect night work genesis
BECAUSE I PROMISED TO GO TO MADAFUCKIN DINNER WITH FRIENDS
DAMNIT! -
I am a senior dev, so I’m used to deleting 2 recruiter e-mails per day, not really thinking about them.
The last 3 weeks, however, dead silence in my Inbox.
Coronavirus? Recession? Or have I managed to get on a blacklist?
I don’t believe that recruiters learned not to spam.
Do you guys observe the same?4 -
Fucking linux foundation, bought the CKA exam last year and now they tell you if you take the exam after first of April the cert will only last 2 years instead of 3, wtf is this shit?
God certs are such a fucking scam! yet they are quite valuable if you have them on your cv so you just have to suffer in silence.6 -
My DevRant has been in complete and utter silence for the past 2 days... what the hell happened to Alice? I'm subscribed to her and I'm not getting any new rants from her or anyone I am subscribed to lol8
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2X Tickets solved by rebooting the server after .Net Installation.
Client Default answer to: "Did you turn it off and on again?"
Always silence until you force the reboot after an server check and analysis.2 -
Client: After two weeks of silence. "Are we ready to launch?"
Me: "Yeah, sure!" Forgetting there's a half-finished refactor from two weeks ago.
*spends an hour cowboy coding php in Plesk editor before IT guy updates DNS* -
Working on production issue,
Kind of nervous checking logs and so on...
Ops manager and PO who were looking over my shoulder this whole time start shooting the breeze.
I know what they were trying to do. They are trying to create a relaxed environment.
But the issue is that the talk is very distracting. If you want to shoot the breeze please go somewhere else.
Anyway just did that, asked them to leave. They weren't happy about it. But I really needed the silence. -
Everyone excited discussing a new data access API to provide to the clients when, le boss:
"Just so you guys think out of the box a bit. What if you deployed the API on Swagger instead of AWS? It seems a nice and fresh approach, huh?"
Everyone on the room remained in silence and internally questioning why do we work here...1 -
I should try to put ascii arts of pepe memes instead of meaningful error handling messages in my code, this way I would know for sure if people are actually not just patching fucking try catch silence everywhere instead of doing proper code.
I should probably do the same with documentation as well while being at it. -
If anyone here wants to know how a generic engineering college will be like in India, here's the video
https://youtu.be/BhWWiCwRb7s
Do watch it. It is accurate af.
I don't like the education system in India, so this video hit me right in the feels.
Sneak peek:
I didn't choose this engineering life, neither did engineering life choose me. It was shoved down my throat by my teachers while my hands were tied to my back by my friends and my parents watched in silence.1 -
I'd really wish girls/women knew how fucking annoying it is when they are speaking loudly with each other at the company toilets, and stays there for 5-10 minutes to discuss what they did this weekend.
There are only two things I want/need to poop: SILENCE! and my phone.
I don't need the feeling of sitting in the middle of a Starbucks while taking a shit. -
3 weeks ago
Client: when can we go in production, we want x and y
Boss: 13/12
Absolute Silence
Today 8/12
Boss: how long will it take for bringing this in production on 13/12?
Me: I'll do my best to get it ready on time
Boss: Why will it take 2 workdays?
Me: because client asks x and y
Boss: so?
Me: x and y is not ready
Boss: x and y can' t take two days, it must be ready now
Me: You said 13/12?
Boss: client wants to test before production
Me: ... 😡
Where did things go wrong here?7 -
"Designers deal in ideas. They give shape to ideas that shape our world, enrich everyday experiences, and improve our lives. Where there’s confusion, designers fashion clarity; where there’s chaos, designers construct order; where there’s entropy, designers promote vitality; where there’s indifference, designers swell passion; where there’s mediocrity, designers imbue excellence; and where there’s silence, designers lend voice. " - Ken Peters2
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Posted on Twitter
A thread of Rittenhouse facts
I learned watching trial
So many spread lies
I couldn’t keep my silence
RIP follower count35 -
So some big customers are getting problems for a given software project. The relevant dev team, customer support and I, part of another division of QA, need support from a specific QA team. We work for a multinational company employing above a thousand of people around the world.
None of the members are giving signs of life. Nobody from any QA team answers my emails, slack messages or anything. Management does not seem to care either. Did they suddenly die without my knowledge? I am just trying to do my job and find solutions to problems.
I am an inch close to giving no fucks and start playing video games. lol2 -
Just a question.
What's your preference when you're programming/developing.. Silence, music, a film on In the background etc..
Aimed to words programming at home etc rather than in a work place.
Personally, I think I'd go fucking insane programming in silence.9 -
when you slept through your fucking unpaid on call alerts (i remember when pre-interview i was told i wouldn't have to do on call, thanks for the incorrect information HR) and your manager happens to be your second and took care of it
fml
fuck phone UIs and settings, silence just everything besides pagerduty and slack, why the fuck there's multiple sliders for notification volume i don't fucking know -
Can we have a moment of silence for the jekyll themes that are supported on GitHub?
https://pages.github.com/themes/
Jesus Christ I'm in the graveyard here5 -
Enjoy the lyrics to one of many songs of my favorite band Depeche Code - https://youtube.com/watch/...
Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little code
Painful to me
Fails right through me
Can't you understand?
Oh my little bug
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my ARMs
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Lines are token
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Logs are trivial
Crashes remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And less hackable
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my ARMs
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Enjoy the silence -
In the middleschool we have teacher who wasn't very skilled. We were learning about copying files, creating folders, writing in word...
So me and my frend were bored and do other stuff, talk loud and joking.
Teacher than got angry at us and want to punish as. So he made us show, how to creat new folder in explorer. Thinking we would know.
Me and my frend did it in sec. He just stood there in silence and didn't know what to do. We continue to do other stuff. -
2 min silence for my friend.
who got contract to edit and make golden frame of "naga baba"
he have to zoom each and every part of naga baba to clear and make render image.
xD XD16 -
It feels oh so good to push to my own project's repo after 4 months of silence :)
I guess I'm back.
Although I do wish someone else was doing frontend for my BE :) -
Do all of you guys listen to music all the time? I see a lot of rants about some music apps not working properly in some Linux distro or posts about how music helps you to concentrate on coding etcetera. And, I don't even recognize half of those music apps.
It's not that I hate music, I just don't listen to it. I prefer silence over sound waves bombarding my eardrums.6 -
client A: "why don't you code in Java then? it looks much more authentic! those alien-like structure just so cool to us!"
me:"cause i can do the same thing with around 15 lines of code using Python instead of 100 lines in Java...."
client A:*confusing look*
then we have a 15mins of awkward silence time...
please don't set me to meet client T_T...1 -
I was tasked to parse some complex output oft another application so that it can be displayed nicely in our Frontend. The output had lots of inconsistencies and exceptions - I spent the entire fucking day to wrote the craziest regex I have ever written in my entire life. With a few minor issues it worked pretty well. I was happy... Then a colleague came into my room, peeked into my screen..
Him: "You are aware you can just specify a --json flag to get json output?"
Me: "..."
*long silence*
Me: 😵🔨
Please end my life.1 -
Though of the day - "All together" is written seperately and "separately" is written all together.(hypocrisy in silence)4
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Let's do a story mapping session! Ok cool. PO asks the team: so guys what do you think? *silence*... *more silence*.... PO: come on guys, please respond. *silence*.... Then someone finally responds.
I'm starting to hate this big time. It's almost always like that, no matter the type of session (story mapping, refinement) And there's someone in the team that thinks he always knows best, so if ever someone speaks up, it will always be challenged and lead to useless discussions. He always wants the perfect solution. A good solution is good enough, it doesn't have to be perfect. PO is happy with a good solution (good = maintainable, scoring at least x on our code quality tooling), so why the fuck would you want to go for the 'perfect' solution, which may score just slightly higher in regard to quality, cost much more to develop and people have a hard time maintaining it due to the high level of abstraction? He's always refactoring stuff because it's not future proof. Well, why completely reimplement parts that have been working properly for 2 years and have a very very small chance of needing a change, which then still only needs to be done in just 1 place?
And you know what? All these fancy structures, patterns etc are in there but will their flexibility ever really be used? In my 20 years experience haven't seen such flexibility being really used. Some exceptions of course.
Once it's built, it will keep running, yes, changes will need to be made, but in most cases they never touch all these expensive fancy structured components. Just because most changes are in content or small changes in functionality.1 -
Any 'A Perfect Circle' fans out there? Was wondering if you could recommend some similar acts?
Got this tune stuck in my head resonating deeply:
"Time to put the silicon obsession down
Take a look around
Find a way in the silence
Lie supine away with your back to the ground
Dis- and re-connect to the resonance now
You were never an island"2 -
Working with external teams on this new project involving pretty sensitive stuff like bank transactions.
Talking about user flow and how to handle authentication, like 2-factor and stuff.
Newish guy on external team (though experienced) says they have a proposal.
Security Questions.
... like "What was you first car" security questions...
awkward silence in room...8 -
* hours into the debug session *
"... What are we debugging again?" - me
*Awkward silence*
Actually because no one remembers as well -
!rant
Imagine your company would spend 100$ more per employee to rent a bigger, nicer office. Imagine how much additional space you'd have there. Maybe individual offices for everybody, or at least not more than two or three employees per office? Telephone booths for long calls, or a library to work in absolute silence, to do research, or to study something new there.
How would that affect your productivity and overall happiness? How much better you'd feel there? How much more relaxed would you be? How much less sick days would you have, and how much money would your company save resp. make more due to higher productivity?
Or would you rather have a salary raise of 100$?3 -
Silence so I can hear myself think and then just write the first line. It's hard to start, but once I get going it is even harder to stop.
Sometimes I'm afraid of starting because the codingzone switches my brain into an Asperger patient. I just can't socialize afterwards. So if there is a evening meeting morning coding is a no-no. -
Headphones on in a (fairly) quiet place with my phones in silent. And I'm working on something I like using tools I like.
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2 minutes of silence for those who actually believed and forwarded april fools posts from tech giants.
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Does you all prefer lots of commotion when you work?
Or do you prefer silence?
(I prefer full sensory deprivation, my wife has the TV blaring. Very interesting mix when we both work from home)6 -
A: our WordPress website that use heavily Facebook APIs is not working anymore because of the privacy changes
B (thinking): seems something easy, check the settings and do an invoice of the job for a portal that we didn't done and get a new customer
B: we can do it in blablabla for blablabla
Silence from the A side
1 month later...
A: I didn't found your bank account for the payment but we are ready to do that fix. And we have also a new feature request. -
Usually, the best approach to get a quick answer is by sending a DM.
To my surprise, the person mentioned that he will check it (then typical radio silence).
Next step, post in a channel that is dedicated to that topic, nothing.
Let's try an experience, I posted the same thing in a channel that the project manager has access to it. He just added an emoji and within 5 mn everyone was adding his input to the thread.
It seems that's the way how things work here 🤷♂️7 -
I’m applying to jobs cuz my dad keeps bugging me. But all these jobs require a “friendly” “enthusiastic” and “outgoing” type of person. Ive been told that I’m rude or something similar but it’s just a misunderstanding. I’m just awkward asf. How do I stop being so fucking AWKWARD and ANXIOUS????? I can’t STAND IT. I just sit there in SILENCE and people think I’m being a bitch.4
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Just spent about 2 days to silence a warning in a test case instead of fixing the issue behind the warning :/
Feeling guilty2 -
As back end developer, I rarely have hands on production environment. When it happens, I need to ask my way around and since the office is empty that day, I ask the client directly. They give me a URL. Right away, I ask the credentials.
"Just connect to the URL"
"You mean, you have an open access of this software, having critical information of more than 50 000 persons, to the web?"
*Silence* "hahaha it appears that way"
Thankfully, a tactful manager handled the situation astutely and we never heard about it anymore.
Don't we love all happy ending? -
Me: removed appsettings.development.json from git index, because every time we pull, we have to correct the files of 8 api's, just to be able to build that ducktape solution
Other devs: we can't build anymore, our appsettings.development.json are gone!!!!!
Manager: (total silence on my 'good morning') you broke our application!!!!
Me: checks 8 appsettings.development.json in
Almost everybody HAPPY3 -
Had one of my spookiest meetings today. Mr git master still had the dailies in the calendar, but he's the scrum master without a scrum and I was the only one to join. Some bitter remarks alluded to the fight with my boss, but otherwise he was mostly going on about how we should build a docker container to automatically build our build system and how to achieve this perfection in his previous company they needed three month - while our current project is already due in December including testing. I don't know.. still - theoretically he seems to know his stuff, but in the end you have to compile shit and make it fly, or at least not let it drown to heavily.
Anyway, awkward silence setting in, when he's still talking on and my boss enters the meeting room. Some heavy sand in the works.
Should I rejoice like them?
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
OOP is all about code reusability until you really want exactly the code Foo with non-pure functions in all your classes. You end up almost rewriting all subclasses' properties into the superclass to silence typecheckers. Is there no "I know what i'm doing, please just transpile/compile this piece of logic into these 20 places I need?" You end up doing it the functional way, dumping refs and params into some shared util function and have it do the job. I know, might as well have that one inherited also, but what's the point of adding more mess just for that ?2
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I got a guy in my team but different location who is completely useless. He doesn't do anything useful, yet always have something to say.
Manager(M) asking him for progress on some task via email:
M: Any progress on this?
Useless guy: oh yes we have to tasks to solve *long description of the tasks*
M: Yup I was asking if there was any progress since we agreed this yesterday
And now there is radio silence since Friday :) -
Ooh man, the last month I been working all day in my home PC.. and I realized how much I have problem with the noise from the fans and everything. I truly believe programming need complete silence to be productive... #soundproofeverything4
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Everytime my qa says "it's a bug"
Me: You saint, it's not a bug, it's a feature...
*Awkward silence* -
Today I finally finished editing the video for my new song. I have been working on the song itself, recording hundreds of takes of instruments and vocals, for almost four weeks now.
Editing the video took about 3 days, partly because I am using Hitfilm 4 Express for the first time. It's definitely a huge step up from Windows Movie Maker, but I did hit one mindboggling snag which delayed me for more than an hour.
When the editing was done and I exported the finished video, I play it, only to discover that the first second or so of audio is missing. That's kind of important for a music video.
So I try all kinds of things. Reimporting the audio into the project in different resolutions, trying different rendering settings, deleting or adding audio tracks, you name it. And each time the finished video is missing that first second of audio.
And each render takes about 10 minutes to complete, which is a long time to wait for one second of silence!
Out of desperation I start thinking about adding the audio to the video in Windows Movie Maker, just because I know that always works, even if that will degrade the quality.
But before I do that I try one more thing: I add a few seconds of silence at the beginning of the song in Audacity, then import into Hitfilm one more time.
And then it works!
I shall report my findings to Hitfilm shortly :-)4 -
I've gotta question for dem ranters.
Since I'm using a toaster as a PC, and from time to time I do play Overwatch, playing without music (or doing anything in silence) is shit.
Running Google Chrome is not an option (it tends to hog my toaster so the game runs like, well, whatever is your defiinition of slow.
Is there something that can run Google Play Music in the background (and please, anything but the PlayMusic desktop player, that is ever worse, it makes the whole OS slow)?
Like, some lightweight browser?
It's bugging me for a year, and I can't find a solution. Maybe someone has a better idea of how to make this possible.
*LanaDelRey-Summertime_sadness.mp3 playing in backgroun*3 -
Let us all have a moment of silence for the wasted lines used for individual variable declaration... we were so young and so dumb... YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW!!!
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see. anything they make that is good could pass for one of ours :P
" A single strand of spider's weave
Just dancing in the sun
Please don't turn around and leave
You are my only one
Compromise is made out of peace
But history's made out of violence
After the war of the worlds has ceased
All that's left is the deafening silence"