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Search - "app shit"
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Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Me: :/
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.32 -
Modern web development is fucked. Just absolutely, totally screwed up.
I want to create a simple to do list web app. Look for a tutorial: "OK guys, this is really easy, it just takes five minutes."
First step, install these:
- Git
- NPM
- NodeJS
- Express
- MongoDB
- Docker
- React
Second step, npm install about one million modules. Don't question what they do or why they're there.
Before you know it, six hours have passed and you've got a code base of 3GB and you haven't even _started_ on your app.
FUCK that shit! I can create this web app with Internet Explorer and Notepad.49 -
The original story:
"When I've got my very first android I was downloading any shit from Play Store. There was app called pattern security or something like that. The app was taking selfies everytime power button was pressed several times and then photo would sent to email. One day I left my old phone at home and at the office this is the photo i've received."12 -
My employer tried to install my app in his IPhone X and he scold me why the apk not supported. I explain to him that apk is for Android. He yelled :” don’t give me shit , you don’t have a degree on this so shut up, I do have, apk are universal because it is coded in Java18
-
Dev: why should I develop windows phone apps. Almost nobody uses this kind of shit.
Customer: Why should I use a fucking windows phone. The windows app store is as empty as a ghost town.31 -
> be me
> want to write troll "viruses" to fck arround with frieds
> write batch files
> shit everyone can see what I do
> google 'how to make exe'
> install VS
> google 'make exe with vb.net'
> spend 3hr/s copying the Internet
> send friend exe
> blocked by antivirus
> write other bullshit
> actually learn stuff
> shit I'm kinda good at this
> keep going
> 4 years later
> be system administrator / devop / web dev / app dev / desktop dev
> get paid
> inb4 wants to troll friend - finds dream job instead7 -
Last week:
Client: Hey sometimes when I sent about 20 messages to your app they need a long time to arrive. Why is your app so slow?
Me: We are using Google Cloud Messaging to deliver messages. There is no guarantee when messages arrive.
Client: So such a big company is the fault? And not you? Pls make it faster. Make it always act the same.
Working as a programmer is pain in the ass because the people with the money don't know a shit about anything.
I changed just a fucking useless string.. I deployed the "new version" and I told him I boosted everything.
Today he spoked with my buddy about another thing and he told him by the way the app is now much faster.
..placebo update2 -
Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"
*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*
Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.
Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"
*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*11 -
Normal app: "DEV I NEED THIS, 1 STAR. WITHOUT THIS IS SHIT"
devrant app: "Guys, I've created a client for desktop computer for devrant, tell me if I can upgrade anymore"
Such beautiful community ♥4 -
Dear websites,
Please stop fucking asking me to install your shitty mobile apps. They do the same thing your site does. I have a browser, and it's a lot better. I don't even visit you every day. But even if I did, and I wanted your crappy app, I'd open the app store and download it by myself. No need to push me.
No need to waste the little screen estate I have with crappy call-to-action sections to download that shit.
Fuck your desire for more information about me. Fuck your narcissistic enjoyment when I have your icon on my fucking home screen.
The truth is, there is a very small number of apps that really need to integrate with a phone to offer better experience.
I feel most of you feel you need to have an app just because everyone else does. And so you could show these little Android and Apple logos on your website or ads. Well, how about you just make sure your site works well on a mobile screen and don't waste your money on a half-baked mobile shit app unless it really offers something worthwhile?
And if you do have a good app and it really does something, ask me just once and fucking respect my choice. Don't just ask me again and again, on every page, with every new session, or I'll just stop visiting.
You're all not that unique, so fuck you!14 -
PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test
*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.11 -
Just got this little stinker added to my board this morning….
Ticket Title: Weird shit going on in app
Ticket Description: (blank)
Attachment: <Screenshot of app logo>
Manager: Well what do you think is causing it?
Dev: Causing what?? This ticket doesn’t describe anything at all
Manager: Well it’s a bunch of different things! The ticket is just a high level summary. Now how long do you think it’ll take to fix?
Dev: …16 -
Honestly, I’ve been complaining a lot about the company I joined a few months ago and especially about the code base and I just have to say ...
With good fucking reason, look at this shit, every single *.js file of our Angular app is manually added inside the master page
Not even minimized what the actual fuckkkkkkkkkkk15 -
Holy shit this UI/UX/Whatever looks good! Wish all apps could look this good. ++ to the Firefox App designers!16
-
Doing the stuff we learned in math today in C on my phone in portrait mode on a root server in my ssh app with mobile data in my free time in school is just some next level shit6
-
Ah, let me open my half baked personal Android project. Maybe I'll finish it this time.
*opens Android studio*
"You have shitloads of updates. Please download and restart now"
Ok, makes sense. I haven't opened it for a month.
*runs the app*
"CoolApp has crashed"
What the fuck? It was all working before. WTF happened.
*half an hour of online research*
The google play service version is somehow fucked up. So let's fix that.
*App opens*
Yay! Let me login right away!
*Login via google doesn't work*
I didn't even touched the bloody code.
*another half an hour of research. Nothing works*
Fuck this shit.10 -
Friend: Do you think you could make an app that does X?
Me: Yes but I'm not an app developer so haven't had much experience with app design so might take a while
Also friend: What sort of programmer are you? It's basic shit
My friends don't seem to understand that the programming loop for game development (Mostly background asset management) and app development is like trying to ask why a bull and a bull frog won't breed...Yes they both have bull in the name but they are 2 fucking different cunting things...8 -
Client comes to me after a year to publish an update to his app.
I accept, start looking for my release key.... Found it.
Fuuuuuuucccck what's the password? I can't remember
Googled what to do if forgot password of keystore: Nope can't do shit other than brute Force. You've to forget your app and publish as a new app. Nice.
I must have written it somewhere... I'm sure. Check my password manager: Nope.
Start brute forcing:
Default pass: android. Nope
Name of app? Nope
After 10 mins of brute forcing:
Why would I not store the password in my password manager? The only reason I can think is the password is too stupid to be stored.
Try "password". App signed successfully.
I'm ashamed of 1 year older me xD6 -
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
Fuck y'all4 -
The weirdest shit happened today. My 14 year old sister comes to me and asks me that she has a million dollar app idea that I should make her so that she can put it on the app stores and earn.
THE PLAGUE HAS SPREADDD😱11 -
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I SPEND HOURS INVESTIGATING INCOMING & OUTGOING DATA. I CHECKED ALL THE CODE, I EVEN TEAMVIEWED A CUSTOMER WHICH WAS HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH MY APP.
TURNS OUT I FORGOT A FUCKING '/' IN MY FUCKING CODE. WHICH MEANS THE HOLE GODDAMN API URL MAKES NO SENSE.
WHY THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS OVERCOMPLICATE SHIT LIKE THIS.
FUCK2 -
Dear Apple,
We've sent you a new message regarding your app, Xcode. To view or reply to the message, go to the Resolution Centre.
----------------------------------
We noticed that your app did not fully meet the terms and conditions for reasonable fucking update size. Your latest app update requires over 40 GB of free fucking disk space. Please bear in mind that many of your own fucking laptops only have 120 GB of disk space. For optimum user experience, it would be best if the user didn't have to uninstall other apps from their system just to run your shitty update system.
Next Steps:
To resolve this problem, we recommend that you fix your shit. If you are unable to fix your shit, we recommend that you don't take 30% of all iOS developer's income so that you can make giant fucking glass donut buildings, and instead use that ridiculously disproportionate monopoly-abusing cut and invest that money in fixing your shit, to lighten the load of developers on whose backs you have become the most cash-rich company in human history.
Resources:
There are plenty of resources such as Stack Overflow to take advantage of, in order to learn how not to create a bloated piece of shit IDE.
Once you've completed all required changes, please upload a new binary to the App Store.7 -
JetBrains released KotlinConf app
Backend made with Kotlin
Frontend made with Kotlin
Android made with Kotlin
AND GODDAMN IOS made with Kotlin!
Holy shit, that's awesome
https://github.com/JetBrains/...10 -
working on an android app. the guy who wrote it is a complete retard designed it and made it overcomplicated and unmaintainable now no one can change anything without breaking all that shit ... found this comment, someone else tried to do it and failed miserably apparently.2
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Dream : Write todos.
Reality :
Well, i should conserve paper.
Oh, there is a todo app in my phone!
*Contains ads*
Shit.5 -
FOUR DAYS
Tomorrow will be the FOURTH FUCKING DAY spent trying to get this piece of shit iOS simulator to not crash the app.
I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING.
FUCK APPLE. FUCK XCODE. FUCK IOS😠😤😠😤😠😤😠😤😠😤
Steve Jobs was a twat, and the IPhone X garbage piece of technology10 -
Just got a brand new car coming from a 1999 Honda CRV and holy shit the tech in these things is insane.. basically drives itself on HWY's, can start it from an app, does all sorts of weird stuff.. obviously it comes with risks of being hacked and all that but damn new cars are wicked these days.7
-
For those of you retards that post shit like:
"fuck"
"well I hate this"
or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.
Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.
Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.14 -
So I'm going to get married next june. I made an app for the guests where they have all information available, can send music wishes and can share images of the wedding with other guests.
Here is my story on publishing it in the App Store:
Me: "Hey Apple, I made a small app for my wedding. Mind putting it in your store?"
Apple: "Yeah, whatever" *publishes it*
One month later:
Me: "I made really small changes, please take this update."
Apple: "Ha no, its not interessting for enough people." *rejects it*
I panic, because the app is mentiont in the invites to the wedding which are already printed.
So one day later:
Me: "Ok ok, I added a button in the intro where people can send me a mail if they are interested in using the same app for their wedding."
Apple: "That changes everything! We will accept the update."
I'm happy, that they accepted it in the end, but really?!? There are so many shit apps in the store, why do you reject any not-fart app, because it is not interesting enough??? And why the fuck do you accept it in the first place?15 -
People complaining about Microsoft pushing MS-Edge are clearly not using the YouTube mobile app, this shit pushes their premium shit and YouTube music every fucking day. MS you get ONE pop up when you change default browser and they are done! Also Google products one concurrent browsers ? You get that nice yellow message telling you you're not using chrome but people just like to tell shit about MS like it's the national sport or something well fuck you and fuck Google5
-
Writing all the major functionality of our app in a 10000 line class ( I shit you not) and then call it Utils.java.2
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For fucks sake I'm getting tired of this company. We have an app that's been developed on a VERY tight budget with a team and it's nearly completed/basically done few fixes here and there. They keep going to meetings with clients and promising more than the fucking app does! BITCH IT TOOK 6 MONTHS OF DEV TIME IF YOU WANTED THOSE OTHER FEATURES WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT IT IN THERE SOME FUCKING TIME.
And now since I'm in charge of the remnants of whats left, they keep asking me to make demos of ridiculous new features to show to new clients. BUT THATS NOT WHAT THE FUCKING UP DOES AND WERE OUT OF BUDGET!!!
I explain this. Every fucking day. I'm told they understand. Then I'm asked to make a fucking glittery demo with some bullshit features we don't have YET FUCKING AGAIN. BITCH I WILL QUIT THIS SHIT!
IF I SPEND ALL MY TIME MAKING THE FUCKING DEMOS, I CANT FINISH THE MAIN APP YOU FUCKTARDS. STOP PROMISING SHIT WE DONT HAVE!9 -
Admit it, we all look at the reviews just to find shit like this...
(Can't remember what app I saw this on)10 -
Boss: We are going live tomorrow, are you ready?
Me: (Goosebumps and dry mouth) Sorry can you repeat that
Boss: Oh sorry not you, it's Sam whose app going live tomorrow
Me: (Inner me) Motherfucker. You dry dick piece of shit1 -
Pro tip: never set custom script stuff related to dns server forcing things in a root firewall app if you don't know what you're doing.
How would I know? There's a slight chance that I just went offline for a few days (mobile only) to figure this shit out 😅
All fixed now, though!21 -
Why are modern apps so god damn huge? A fucking messaging app doesn't require 500000000000000 MB!!! I wonder what shit load of fuck they're packing in those apps.13
-
I created an app that would let people in software development and general I.T related fields to bitch about shit and just rant about stuff.
But two glorious assholes stole it from me. So no startup.9 -
Do you want an app completed for tomorrow?
It will be a shit.
Do you want a very good app?
You won't have it tomorrow.
Clients and bosses will never learn it...6 -
Looks like I'm destined to be fucked in the ass every time I'm on vacation...
This boss : https://devrant.com/rants/1330624/...
Told me he is gonna implement the new backend of a web app we have while I'm on vacation...
He was trying stuff with python for it and I tried to explain him the benefits of polymorphism and the ideas behind it and he was looking clueless, as always...
I'm screwed... Last time I went on vacation they started using react ( no complains ) and firebase ( fuck this shit ) ...
Now we are moving this web app away from firebase but I can see it is gonna be shit and a lot of rants will follow from his "back end" that this motherfucker here is gonna have to help implement after 2 weeks of fucked up code...5 -
Ok google, set an alarm in 20min works great but when you say ok google, cancel my alarm it just says you can do that in the app. I know I can do it in the alarm app, but I am a lazy piece of shit, that's why I asked you to do it!4
-
First time ever implementing an Android app from scratch (coming from C++ but also worked with C# and Python): WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT???13
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I am a student. A Geospatial Engineering student. I made a demo Cordova app mapping incident spots on OSM., now my fellow undergrads think I can hack NSA, program a satellite, build all their dream websites and apps. The College Department wants me to lead an in-house photogrammetric programmable drone project. If they ask I'll say yes... yes I can! shit.😂5
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Broken app is broken again. This app is broken so often and so hard, I'm struggling to give a damn.
These fuckers need to take their shitty project, code and managers especially, and launch them into Mars
They blame us and everyone else for their shit and I'm done with it. I need to sleep and not have these fools call me at all fucking hours.6 -
After 8 iTunes Testflight Beta approvals for my app ... better still, I got hte app approved for the App Store a week ago to "de-risk" our "final submission" ... That's 9 approvals for my app, and we're ready to submit version 1.0.0 and actually release on the store. We take last week approved app and "developer reject" if to make room for the final tweaked version (minor tweaks, minor bugfixes). Submit version 1.0.0., plenty of time before it needs to be released.
But, what's this? "Meta Data rejected" for v1.0.0 because some piece of shit at Apple wants to watch a video of the app working with our hardware. What about the previous 9 approvals with the demo account connected to the demo hardware?
So we send a video within 1 hour of their unexpected request about the very foundational fucntionality of our app. That was 24 hours ago and these fucking assholes haven't even responded, no sign of when they will trouble themselves to respond. Pure limbo.
All the work up to this point was to "de-risk" their infamously shitty review process and all of it was in vain because it's somehow brand new information that our app works with our hardware.
Holy fuck, what a bunch of power-tripping assholes. All I can do is pace around and review the previous 2 months in my head to figure out what I could have done better. But I could not possibly have expected that after all the Testflight Beta approvals and after the recent App Store approval, that they would suddenly doubt that our software actually works with our hardware!!!!!
FUCK YOU APPLE!!!! FUCK YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!!!2 -
Got some feedback for an app today via email...
"You are a fucking idiot! Stupid piece of shit!" Well, I guess one user didn't like it then... Rude fucking wankhat!4 -
Until today, I haven’t worked on a react app or front end project in about 5 months.
Hoooo boy. What a fucking rollercoaster ride. One minute you’re doing some slick shit you learned how to do from working on backend projects, the next you’re screaming at your linter and pissing on your keyboard.
2/5 stars do not recommend.
I’m out.
*ascends into the cloud*8 -
FOR FUCK SAKE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND !!!!
Been working on an app at work for 9 months and now PM tells me customer wants to change flow of the app!!!
Kill me please ASAP!6 -
What if devRant made this app just to see how to improve their own company without looking like shit?1
-
Me : *trying to download latest version of android studio*
Google: "Your client does not have permission to get URL /studio/index.html from this server. That’s all we know."
Me: FUCK YOU GOOGLE
Me: *googles: دانلود اندروید استودیو* (which means download android studio)
*and downloads it from a random website*
It happens every goddamn time, why the fuck i can't download this shit !? Because these countries are fighting each other all the time! What did i do wrong in my life? I just want to download your fucking app to write another shitty app to continue my fucking life. I don't know shit about this wars happening, I'm just a dev like others all over the world.
Downloading an app, is that too much to ask? Well fuck you then.14 -
To whoever in the history of this godforsaken app I’m tasked with has commingled PHP with ColdFusion, I have a message for you:
Fuck you...fuck your momma, fuck yo daddy, fuck yo computer, fuck yo keyboard, fuck yo mouse, fuck the clothes on your back, fuck monitors that displayed this shit, fuck your fingers in particular, fuck yo brain, fuck whoever dropped yo on your head as an infant, fuck the car you drove to work in, fuck the servers running this shit, fuck anybody who was involved with your education, and if I see you on the street ima slap the shit out of you.6 -
Best thing about being a mobile developer:
Whenever your elders give you shit for being on the phone too much, tell them that you are testing your app and get away with it.1 -
Is it normal for every stupid, arrogant, selfish person to talk all kinds of bad stuff about my app and attack me personally on the play store? It's just a soundboard and it's free you pricks, be grateful for once and don't mind the god damn ads so much. I can't believe that shit.5
-
Wasted 7 hours for this:
import moment from 'moment'
Should be:
var moment = require('moment')
What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment
Fucking hybrid shit apps...13 -
I know it's not trending anymore but talking about poor products - the Pokemon GO app! I mean, that shit is the Windows Vista of apps. Never before have I seen a product that crashes on the simplest gui tasks.
And after a month they finally roll an update which consists of.. "Minor text fixes"! $#%!2 -
In today’s episode of hybrid/cross platform tools are shit:
Electron 6 and 7 use private API’s on Mac OS, violating apple App Store rules, and apps now can’t be submitted.
The responses also say that continued attempts to try to hide private api usage may result in developer accounts being terminated.
So by using electron, you may get your Apple developer account closed down permanently .... rightly so for picking electron in my mind
Source:
https://david.dev/you-cannot-submit...12 -
Got asked into a meeting to give my opinions on the security about software that might be used to implement a web app.
After 20 minutes of listening to bullshit that wasn't even my concern they got into databases and I was constantly talked down, by people who know shit about tech, about the professional use of PostgreSQL and they only did shut the fuck up when I compared their "important business" to Facebook using MySQL.
Come on... Stop talking down about shit you know nothing about.3 -
I pay over $100 per year for Apple's piece of shit developer program and the app store connect website isn't even accessible right now.
Great.4 -
JUST ONCE DOCUMENT YOUR FUCKING LIBRARY!
FUCKING CLOWN!
FUCKING IDIOTS!
YOU RUIN MY DAY, MAKE ME WORK 12 HOURS A DAY, TO RESOLVE SUCH BASIC FUNCTIONALITY
YOU FUCKING CLOWN!!!!!!!!!
I'D BETTER DELETE THE ENTIRE APP AND START FROM SCRATCH, WOULD BE EASIER THAN USING YOUR SCUM OF THE EARTH PIECE OF SHIT LIBRARY4 -
Why the FUCK can’t I deploy a cordova app to my phone from VS, god fucking damnit all, I hate mondays!
*30 minutes later*
Well shit, the USB cable was only connected to my phone, not my PC...
*sobs and goes to grab more coffee*2 -
In-app browsers in mobile apps are so fucking pointless. People have default browsers for a reason. Why the fuck would I want to open external links in your shitty in-app browser?
- Deep-linking wouldn’t work.
- Users might not be authenticated to view the external links so they’ll need to sign the fuck in again - through your app.
Why the fuck do people do this shit?14 -
defuq Apple??
I cannot submit my app and I have a very critical app.
this is shit, here we don't celebrate Christmas, so maybe apple needs to fuckin consider that !!17 -
>be my team
>developing a mobile app
>I'm responsible for developing a "RESTful" API to interface communications between the app and the database
>there's also an "admin" web application which the client themselves will use to manage some shit in the database
>I've developed the API, it works with the mobile app
>instead of just making it simply a front-end app that makes requests to the API like the mobile app does, the guy responsible for the admin app completely ignores my API and implements his own with a certain messy dollar symbol language and a certain bloated piece of server software, accessing the same database directly, and does some operations in his own special way that will break what I've implemented
>now data inserted via admin app is inaccessible to the server API, and I'm expected to "fix" my code so it's consistent with this guy's shit, but the only way to do it is introducing interdependency between the actual API and the admin app's back end
Fuck my life, now I'm the one responsible for the app being broken because no way the guy who's used to kludging unmaintainable shit together fast would ever fuck anything up2 -
If my UI is bad, the app is shit.
If my functionalities are bad, the app is shit.
Being an android developer requires you to be a fill stack developer by default.8 -
For all those people with some great app ideas , visit play store just to find out other 69 fucking similar apps for the same shit you've been pitching me for the past hour.1
-
I developed an app for a company when I was 19 years old freshly out of school, lead developer. When I was 20 a huge TV station in my country covered my app in a segment on how tax payer money was being wasted on stupid shit (I mean yeah lol). They found a super emberassing typo on the start page of the app that they then made fun of. Still haven't recovered from that one lol10
-
WTF MICROSOFT.
I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.
Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.
And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.
Seriously Fuck you Microsoft7 -
Do you ever wonder why EVEN Microsoft uses web technologies to build apps for Windows?
Because the StAte oF tHe aRt piece of shit WINUI 3 (aka Project Reunion aka Windows App SDK aka Microsoft 12th app framework in this decade) can't handle a basic save/open dialog.
An issue has been opened 2 fucking years ago and still no fix. (Other than write 250 lines of c# and c++ to get a fucking dialog)
Fuck this I'm going back to Electron.5 -
Our team really needs some workflow arrangement, and this time it was me who screwed up.
So we have to push an update to the Play Store and the App Store the Friday, the app is well tested on test environment then production environment, we got the ok so I uploaded a build, the app management team then continued the process of publishing..
During the weekend the app was approved and live to almost 500k user that can receive the update.
I got a phone call from the Project Manager at almost midnight, the time was really suspicious so I answered.
- Me: Hello.
- PM: Hi, sorry to call you now but the app is live and we have a problem.
- Me: what kind of problem? Let me check.
So I updated the app on my phone and opened it while I am on call.. I almost had heart attack!! WE PUBLISHED A VERSION POINTING TO THE TEST ENVIRONMENT. Holly shit
- Me: shit call the app management team NOW.
Eventually we removed the app from sale (unpublished it) and we submitted a new version immediately, once it was approved the next day we made the app available again (so for those who didn’t update yet, there will be no update to a faulted version, and no new users landing to a version with test data), I received one or two calls from friends telling me why the app is not on the store (our app is used nationally, so it’s really important).
Thank God there was no big show on twitter or other social media.. but it’s really a good lesson to learn.
I understand this is totally my fault, thankfully I didn’t get fired 😅4 -
Hi all, first rant.
I work on an app on the Shopify platform, which requires me to look at the front end of people’s Shopify stores about half the day.
Can we PLEASE get the Shopify devs together and convince them to put a hard limit on the number of pop ups and slide ins and modal apps a single store can have running??? When a user (or app developer) can’t click on a product to buy it (or test installation) because ‘spin the wheel’ and ‘join the mailing list’ and ‘Karen in Ohio just bought a toaster’ won’t stop popping into the view, your UX is shit.
I realize people could still actually go in and build these things into their store code - but I’m willing to bet VERY few would.
Thanks - rant over.2 -
Holy fuck is learning new frameworks frustrating.
I'm trying to setup a simple fucking flutter app and all their tutorials are basic shit with no auth/complex routing.
Any feature of flutter that's not in a tutorial has absolute shit documentation with 0 examples on how to use it.
Material app has like 20 properties and if you click on something like on generate there is shit for knowing what the fuck it's expecting.
Stackoverflow has a ton a code but that's just it, code. I have absolutely no idea how they generate the code they have from the documentation on the site. They must have been following flutter from the start.
Ahhhhh! 😠13 -
To all you fuckers out there giving bad app rating because some shit does not work on your shitty phone and you are to fucking lazy to report the bug via the fucking "send log to dev"-button that pops up with the exception.
Go fuck yourself.
And to all the user whose bugs I fixed and did not change their Bad rating - fuck you too.
And oh.. The fucktards that did not even install the app and give a Bad rating because i am your competitor - guess what...fuck you.8 -
Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods4
-
Dev team: This part of the app has a shitty ux. We want to fix it after we finish this feature.
Business: hey guys we think we lack data so we got some users to check our page with shitty ux and see if they think it is shit
User: yeah it’s shit
Great use of resources you chucklefucks6 -
3 weeks of search, but now, I have a miniUPS with solar and dc input for my raspberry pi Zero with cam.
I have developed a little ble4 iOS app to monitor all voltages and relay states.
All this shit from China, about 50$ except rpi and cam.
What you think?9 -
So when our campus expo happened, I immediately went to the apps I critiqued last time when I was a a panel judge in the IT dep’s oral defence. Fair enough, this happened:
- The app I failed (the tilting avoid boxes shit app) actually got optimized and got the first time user tutorial I was looking for. I was short of relieved of them listening and kept going despite me failing them (props to the girl btw)
- Second app was the same as before but added my recommendations, nonetheless still a good app
I am nothing short of amazed they actually listened to me so I think that’s a win for my part1 -
Not sure if this is necessarily a prank, but I was working on a team that was split in 2. We had a group of senior devs in one country, and junior devs in another (god only knows why, and yes I complained about this a lot).
The "lead" of the juniors was very stubborn and refused to adhere to the official standards, as his way was better.
I was working on an app with him, I was fed up with how badly the app was working, how hard it was to find files etc. So I waited for him to be off on holidays and pulled some extra hours to completely re-do the folder structure, rip out his persistence layer and a few other things.
When he came back he lost his shit and complained to the architect. The architect (also fed up with his shit) told him that we don't have the time to invest in reverting back everything, and loosing all the new features I added on top, especially since the app is now adhering to standards.
Never felt such satisfaction in my life. -
What you see:
"we gonna build a new application to replace our legacy one"
How to read:
"we gonna make you put more shit in the legacy app whenever we want and still keep asking about the new app you don't have the time to make"2 -
TL;DR;
Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...
Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:
Boss: is there any problem with the server?
Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.
Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?
Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.
Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?
Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...
Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.
Boss: OK. Thanks
TL;DR;
Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...12 -
Final interview for a native Android remote job via Skype
Client: Should we make a hybrid app instead?
Me inside: fucking hybrid app, hell no, the job posting was for a native mobile dev, and hybrid apps are shit
Me: We could have so much flexibility and can adjust so much better in the future when adding features when we go for a native mobile app
*phew* I almost lost my calm back there -
Me: ok, time to archive this shit and publish :D
Xcode: ok. Archiving started
10min later archiving done
Publishing to app store connect,
5 min later, sorry, we can't publish this cuz u haven't changed the build number from 2 to 3¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Me:😠ok, whatevs, let's do this, archive
Xcode: ok, archiving started
10min later, archiving done!
Me: click next to upload to app store connect, 5 min later...
XCODE: SORRY, U CAN ONLY PUBLISH ON XCODE GM'S TO APPSTORE CONECT
Me:😤 OMG, OK 3rd time is the charm...
So now xcode has started archiving, I hope nothing happens again 😬6 -
I am a fucking first year student and am doing an internship at a SHIT start-up. I've devoted my FUCKING PRECIOUS TIME into their SHIT iOS app, and the fucking boss is keeping procrastinating to get me that fucking pay cheque. For God's fucking sake that they pay me using the Canadian government's money (CSJP), FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUUUUUCK YOU5 -
My team: "Hey were getting errors with this process, whats going on?"
Net team: "Hey were getting errors with this process, whats going on?"
Me *looks at logs once*: "Did you guys check the logs? There's a 500 error on the Net side app since 3am this morning..."
Net team: "Oh yeah we changed that but we forgot it would break your shit"
Goddammit why am i not on the alertlist if you are all going to call me when shit breaks?! Doesnt make any sense!! -
Shit man if I thought that S.O for developers was bad.....Stack Exchange Mathematics is just fucking brutal omg I am loling so bad man these dudes have 0 patience and will legit kill trolls on spot.
Saw a dude not agreeing with implicit meanings behind certain symbolic notations, some other dude disagreed, fight ensured.
This shit is awesome. Ima stick with this shit for a while.
S.O still fucking sucks though. The stack is amazing and the app works fantastic. The people there are shitty beyond belief.
"Well, you probably said that beca...." fuck off3 -
The fuck is wrong with android development?!
Every little shit app depends on Google-Services.
Oh you want this app that essentially just keeps track of your homework?
Well fuck you, because we decided to display a login-with-google popup at the start and now, the app won't run if you use an ungoogled ROM.6 -
Nothing ticks me off faster than non working websites or apps of big companies.
For example how can it be that the Lufthansa app has no offline support for ticket stuff and loads like all their requests worldwide would be handled by one raspberry pi A...
YOU GOT THE MONEY SO GET THIS SHIT DONE2 -
Been developing a Java app for 3 months, including basically everything from aop to rest services.
Meeting with po:
Me: So, guess how many loc I wrote.
Po: 400?
Me: *laughs* I'll get to 10.000 this week.
MAN COMES IN WITH CHANGING REQUIREMENTS ON AN HOURLY BASIS YET STILL DOESNT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH WORK ALL THIS SHIT IS!!1 -
Am I the only one that down votes reviews for an app just because the review is from someone who's incompetent?
For example: major new release, so of course there's going to be bugs. Person 1 stars and bitches about how great the old version was.
Like ok you incompetent fuck, that's not at all how this shit works.3 -
Lels
Before I was unceremoniously laid off by a shit company in which they tried to blame shit on me I was working on a opencv implementation of a proprietary document scanner.
I finished the Android prototype and was working on the ios implementation. It was left unfinished in the ios version because I was building it in swift and obj c to compare code bases.
They launched a shit unfinished Android app of their product without the scanner (they could not add the scanner lels) and have not been able to do shit on the ios version.
I did not give them the Android prototype. There was no binding contract that specified that what I developed was theirs. There is no record of anything.
The scanner? Is still in my phone and I still have the built project in my mac.
Unless them cheap assholes decide to pay another engineer for the opencv implementation, their vbscript php non theory knowing shit lead will have to figure out the required mat obj c swift java cpp code needed to build it.
Top kek -
one gotta love Cordova piece of shit -.-
Tested app on browser all is good, deployed on phone and that shit wasn't able to access internet, turned out I needed another cordova plugin for this shit to work.
XCode, I'm sorry bro you are much less pain than cordova :(18 -
Fuck android studio in the ass with cactus.
*starts learning Android*
*Builds simple application with 1 Button, 1 TextView and 1 EditText*
At this point, I haven't implied any logic or code in MainActivity.java.
*Hit Run*
*Gradle Build*
*Meanwhile, eat lunch*
*Still Gradle Build*
*After 2 Eternity, Build finished*
Fucking, slow peice of shit. I'm rebuiliding the App, because the AVD timedout while running.18 -
Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!
You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!
Sincerely,
Me.
Edit: now it's 9:35 btw6 -
Holy shit Sololearn is actually such a Well Designed app to just learn the Basics of languages. Really smooth Animations and Fun Quizzes
(Btw, This Text was written with Google Keyboard which some how is so bad, i need to Switch Back to SwiftKey like STOP CAPITALIZING RANDOM WORDS GOOGLE!!)4 -
What a day! yesterday i submited a new version of our mobile app and the shit began.
The app was validated during the night (AppStore), when i wake up this morning my inbox was full! Basically every users who updated the app was stuck i tried to figure out whats going on. After few hours our customer service called me to help one of our client who was very angry, the funniest part is that the client recognize me... i was his teacher few years ago...
Guys i feel raped... really9 -
Spent last 2 days thinking of a good App Idea for a Hackathon. About 15 ideas later
Error 404: Shit to do not found!2 -
I'm the kind of person that says "Fuck python, worst language, fuck C#, Java, Golang", assembly and C are superior.
But I have learned my lesson; Yesterday I learned enough C# to be able to make a windows app that connects to a another app via sockets. I tried first to do it with C++ but my app looked like shit and took me about a whole day to make. Then I tried with C#, got the App working on an hour, now I'm delighted with C#. I guess I have to be open-minded.8 -
1 - Spend 6 months building an app with Flutter
2 - Try to add in-app purchase. Must upload an apk to google console and register a product
3 - Must launch the app so the product is activated
4 - Console complains apk must contain 64 bits version
5 - Go to the issues tab on github and find a solution
6 - Implement the solution, recompile and send 2 apk files to Console
7 - Did not work...
8 - Find out maybe the console will allow just on closed alpha and beyond
9 - Put apks on closed alpha and fail because the Console wants a new apks with increased version codes...
10 - Recompile and send apks
11 - Console won't allow launching unless the format is using the new App Bundle
12 - Flutter does not support App Bundle with 32 and 64 bits...
13 - See issue about it saying the possible fix is in beta version, just need to update... What could go wrong?
I just wanted to release a damn app
I hate that shit5 -
Fucking piece of shit, i want to make a fairly thin app with some native functionality and
Flutter - no documentation whatsoever, what a surprise
React native - i need 3 extra modules just to do what i want
Cordova - fuck no
Litho - seems fine but i dont wanna use native, i dont even have adb on my laptop18 -
Senior Dev Idiot: "Ugh, I have another meeting with my business users because they forgot how to use my app. I JUST had a training session with them last week too. Users are soo stupid!"
Yeah... No. If your users can't remember how to use your app after a damn week, that means your app is shit and not intuitive or user-friendly enough. YOU are the stupid one.8 -
apparently my bank's password length limit of 10,000 is too much for paypal's app to handle and it fucking imploded. sadly, no screenshots were allowed by the app, but it fucking broke so hard it spat logs and shit at me with no formatting or anything. it was NUTS dude8
-
My menu bar in MacOS was cramped, looked online and found out that an app can fix it.
Holy shit. Does everything on mac cost this much?10 -
It is still blowing my mind how a button on my raspberry pi is programmatically functional in the same way as if I was programming a database and web app.
Fucking eh, why haven't I been doing this hardware stuff sooner? You can literally make physical shit happen. That is so cool!4 -
A call centre manager is dictating the direction for the development of an app I'm working on.
Everything is working perfectly and then I'm asked to implement logic that makes sense to noone else but her. Then a week later shit breaks. Then I'm blamed. Then I implement a "fix". Repeat this cycle over and over.
I've started looking at local postings for a job in construction.1 -
Snapchat is a piece of shit app. My phone (Moto G5 Plus) is far from spectacular, but ive never used an app that freezes and crashes more than that piece of shit app.
If they'd take Apple's dick out their mouth for a week and work on making the app less shitty for Android, that'd be fucking awesome. Or ya know...stop making some good awful update that looks like shit and fix the fucking app first.10 -
What the fuck Microsoft !! Your android apps are total piece of shit! Fucking outlook Android app don't have support to view doc file which is created using your shitty Microsoft teams portal.
If I click on that doc file link through my outlook app, you redirect me to chrome.
Ok that's still acceptable. But the real shit starts now. You tell me that your browser isn't supported! Is this fucking joke?? Who in the world develops a website which can't support latest version of Android chrome?
Now that I have installed your shitty Microsoft teams app, it doesn't show up in "open with" options. Clicking on that link is still redirecting to the chrome saying that browser is unsupported.
Also, your shitty Microsoft teams app can't edit fucking doc file. When I click on your Microsoft word icon, You again ask me to install Android app for Microsoft word.
Seriously fuck you Microsoft and your shitty apps!1 -
These commercials for the Earnin app are cancer.
"I know you don't get paid until tomorrow why are you buying [stupid shit]?"
-- what kinda psycho knows when their friends get paid?
"I'm using the Earnin app to get paid today so I can buy my dog some food."
--If your budgeting skills are so shitty that you have to rely on an app to pay you before you check, then perhaps an animal is something you don't need to have with your current financial situation.
Like Jesus Christ the situations are all illogical and make 0 sense, yet they're fucking EVERYWHERE.3 -
Holy fuckin shit. Fuck java updates.
Today we deployed to production with a java app. For whatever reason it didn't work, just throwing SSL errors left and right.
Same app works on dev and qa
There's only one tiiiiny difference: Java 8 141 on dev/qa, Java 8 171 on prod
Guess what happened in 171 ... they updated the CA
rip 4h debuggin5 -
After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.
Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.
The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".
After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!
What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!
Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.1 -
Just css'd the shit outta this Web app... by css I mean aggressively copied people on codepen til I patched together my idea of design
-
Voice in my head: You should do something good this weekend.
My body: Yeah let's code up a community fostering app for the neighborhood.....
Two Nights later:
Amidst a half empty bottle of Jack ...
Voice in my head: dude why isn't this shit working, you've done this billions of times.
My body: It's your fault...time to drink you away.
And like that,
At the break of day,
A hungover and glazed developer,
Debugged! as they say.
Community app launched
On memorial holiday,1 -
#include<rant.h>
#define useless unnecessary
int main()
{
Fuck off Zuckerman and any dev who codes such shit for useless permissions and especially FUCK YOU CLIENT for asking your dev to ask for all useless permissions for your fucking app just because you think it's cool ;
return 0;
}12 -
If you don't know what clearing cache does to the state of the fatherfucking app then why do you fucking clear it? It fucking breaks the flow. Your maggot-infested ass is then coming up with his own explanation why you cleared the fucking cache. If you don't even have a cunt of an idea why we use the app's local storage, why do you fucking do it? You neanderthal rotten piece of sun-baked shit.
Hey, the app was taking to much time to send the request, so I cleared the app data. Now I have to login again and start over. Maybe check your fucking internet connection?
Fuck you. Fuck your cunt of a face. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCKING FUCK YOU.3 -
When that shit start up reject you and instead of being polite you pull their shit app apart at the seams.2
-
Duolingo used to be better. New updates and restrictions are shit. Specially the whole "take a heart away for a mistake, five mistakes and you can't use the app for hours". Like, I get it, you couldn't manage the traffic. But this is ridiculous. Also, where did the lesson overviews go?9
-
I'm amazed how some people either think I'm fucking jesus or a god or both.
App XY not working.
Yeah. We're talking about how App XY and it's exhaustion of the connection pool since a year....
It's not working, what can we do?
Well. I don't know. Tried restarting?
Not working.
Well... Nothing I can do, you're responsible for developing the app and we've talked many times how complex the problem is.
It's not working, can u do something?
<Me just fed up increasing the connection count>
Well. I've increased the connections.
This will not work. It's a band aid. The app needs really a complete migration.
Ok. But it works.
No it doesn't work.. For fucks sake... It still exhausts the connections for unknown reasons, this is a band aid.
But it works....
-.-
This conversations was over then....
Well. Have fun.
I reverted the change I did.
May this crappy piece of shit die a thousand deaths, I:m now working on something else.
Goodbye mother fucking bitches, habe fun with the nightmare you created.
I'll cry over the other fucking nightmares I at least can solve, cause what you created in this App is beyond irresponsible and dumb.4 -
Argh, time to drop out of the zone to go stuff calories in my face again. Just hook me up to an IV already and let me make cool shit!
Ps @dfox it'd be cool if we could take a picture to post straight from app.3 -
All I wanted to do was to create a quick cordova/phonegap app that uses external plugins - so I can't just preview it.
I ended up spending countless hours debugging why shit doesn't work through --log --verbose --debug, trying to avoid to install the monstrosity that is android studio and finally broke and installed it, fuck this shit.
---
Another post had to go for this. "I feel that's a lie [attached picture]".1 -
You see this fucker? Those are packets sent to Apple, what are those packets? The update of an app I am working on.
Makes me wonder why the fuck does upload disconnect out of a sudden when there is not a single issue in the network I'm connected to!
Apple get your shit together cuz an update process takes more time than developing the damn app!2 -
!rant but wondering,
I'm doing Instrumented test for my android app, and wrote that code to check if the fragment loads data and click on first item and check if all is working as expected, am I doing it right?
Any help would be great :)
Warning: LIGHT theme ahead, room brightness is higher than my screen and I can't see shit in dark theme :\10 -
I was just listening to Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on YouTube while brushing my teeth and tried to adjust the volume on my phone but instead accidentally locked it. Then the fingerprint scanner refused to open the phone again, so I turned it the right way around, accidentally removing the electric toothbrush from my mouth in the process, spraying toothpaste and saliva all over my screen like a giant fan.
When I finally unlocked my stained phone, how did YouTube react to my blood being ready to boil?
“Wish videos kept playing even when you close the app? Try YouTube Premium for 12,99€ a month.”
I wanted to drop my phone into the bog and walk away singing Fucked With an Anchor.3 -
Holy shit, after spending multiple hours installing android tools/sdks/android studio/.., rewriting multiple configs to satisfy new requirements, finding a plugin fork that actually got updated, I finally got my wardriving app to report back SSIDs 😊6
-
Why are there bots on devrant now this app has like 50 active users and we’re all tech savvy enough to know not to fall for a shit crypto scam damnit I hate crypto just shut up about blockchain we get it you’re compensating for something9
-
AndroidOS.
Why: well it's built on Linux kernel so first good thing.
Due to open source everyone can get cheap (under $50) smartphones running on Android with millions of app to access. We can create custom ROMs.
Your one app can target billions of people around the world and so much more...
PS: half of the Play Store apps are shit.5 -
New normal. New app to build.
- Still have to maintain older systems in parallel
- That leaves 1 week for developing the new app
- Slept 2 hours a day, coding coding coding
- Tested the shit out of the app because.. hey, its to help the customers' safety and health... I don't mind staying up late
- Finished the app in 5 days, code is now on prod
- Could barely look myself at the mirror because I look like shit
- Btw the app requires an external device as an input, the existing device works flawlessly based on my testing
- We need more devices
- Clueless manager bought new model instead. He assumed everything is fine, no testing is required
- Tested the app with new device model, doesn't work
- Deadline closing in
- Thanks, there goes my sleep
- THANK YOU1 -
TL;DR fuck stupid people
I had to develop a rather simple Android app. It had to scan a qr code and let the user validate an invitation based on that code.
It had 2 fucking screens, one for statistics, one for the scan.
One week before going live
Product owner: The app is too complicated.
Dev/me: What?😶
PO: I want you to get rid of the statistics screen. Also make the text and buttons bigger. Also keep in mind we might want it back after.
Needless to say the app looks like shit with the exagerated font size.
At least it's so idiot proof that even a monkey could use it.😂1 -
Snapchat is by far the worst app ever developed. I like the concept but the actual development of the app is fucking garbage. It hurts my head that they haven't given a fuck about usability, optimisation or anything for that matter considering its one of the top social media platforms. It disgusts me, though Instagram has completely ripped off Snapchat in so many ways; they've done a hell of a better job at it and if people weren't so tired to SC I'm sure it would be dead by now.
Slow UI, slow gestures, probably the highest amount of bugs and crashes, shit camera because it thinks it can do a better job than the native API at rendering, painfully slow upload, stupid "featured" stories that you cannot get rid off and slow the fuck out of the app, battery drain even worse than FB, oh and not to forget that once you accidentally enable your location it's impossible to switch it off, the best you can do is hide it from everyone. I can probably go on and on with the endless issues this shit has.5 -
Who the FUCK thought "let's completely redesign the Doodle mobile app and make it as unusable as possible!"?
The app RESETS every selected option EVERY time you switch to another app and back. Like yea, you don't need to use the calendar app to check at what dates you're available.
Fucking morons! What. a. shit. piece. of. software. How can any PM approve of this? I bet even ChatGPT could do a better job. Fucking hell. "Let's save money with developing hybrid apps! We have no clue how to do it right but: we spend less money, yay!" Fuck. You.
(First rant. Don't know if I did this right but I had to let this out.)2 -
Can we just take a minute to recognize that clicking on the uninstall button in Windows 10 not actually uninstalling the app and instead opening an uninstall program page, where I need to look up the app again and it sometimes may not even be registered there, is one of the most fucking retarded as fuck piece of shit design decisions in the history of programming design?
How fucking hard is it to just trigger the uninstall for the fucking app? Why the fuck is there an uninstall option in the first place you wet waffle of a designer.5 -
Starting to hate resharper for visual studio 2015. Pushes studio memory consumption up by almost 1/2gb with a moderately sized solution. Come on jetbrains sort it out we know it's coz you won't integrate with roslyn.
Doesn't help that vs is still 32bit with a 1.5mb memory cap that will kill the process ...... And Microsoft please sort that shit out as well,32bit app on a 64bit system .... Come on WTF.....
You two sort your shit out 😡2 -
some shitty scam site is "giving away free gams" like Hello Neighbor, FNAF, etc.
Someone asked me to look at one of their EXEs.
Electron app with nothing really going on and a hardcoded key.
Turns out all this shit is systematic. A couple splash screens and a config file for "download" size, name, key, download page, etc. and they're immediately ready to ship the cookie-cutter scam program meant for "free license key BUT SURVEY FOR OUR PROTECTION" ad revenue.
Have source of the Hello Neighbor one i guess?
(jesus, 204MB of source for an 8MB dropper app???)
https://drive.google.com/open/...1 -
devRant is messed up!
I often open the app (iOS), see a rant that I want to read, tap on it, and the app crashes.
Now I almost got used to that shit but for some reason when I open the app again, that rant that I wanted to read is gone! Never to be found again!
No matter how often I reload, how much I scroll down, it’s simply gone.
This annoys me more than it should maybe. But seriously, wtf is wrong with this platform? I don’t know if it’s only the iOS app but so many other things are broken here, it’s disturbing. And those problems are there for many years, nobody seems to care. 😩
Don’t get me wrong, I like devRant. It’s the only social platform that I use. But… ugh…13 -
The only 4 mobile games on all app stores: "shit for other consoles or PC or Flash ported badly to mobile for $5", "idle clicker don't-play-to-succeed game fuck you pay me to succeed faster", "complete XYZ random quick thing 300 billion times", and "free-to-make shit like chess or crosswords or w/e but bad so we make money on empty promises"
i just want something good to play when bored in the car or some shit without needing multiple devices5 -
Why is it that every god damned time, i ask questions until i have a clear view of a clients project and flow. I present them this flow. They OK it and everything. I build said flow in an app. And then at the end of the line i always end up with a shit codebase because i designed it to be like the documented flow, but changes were being added (and obviously paid for) all the time. I made such a neat little app. And now it all gone to shit.
Is this just me? Am i that bad at programming or what?!
Stop changing half of the app functionality after the original design is created!4 -
I swear to fucking god the itch.io desktop app is one of the worst design and programming piles of shit out there...
Deisgn is inconsistent and ugly, stability is up shit creek and simple performance is just shit even for an electron app.
If anyone has to do anything with downloading stuff from itch, just do it manually and ignore the app all together -
Legit my only answer to fixing shit code for a nursing app at work is.....
Writing more shit code. Man the dude that developed this before had 0 clue what he was doing.....and because shit grew out of control there is shitcode everywhere.
I like writing shit code though. It is good practice.
Writing shit code without knowing is one thing. You really do reach expert level when you write shit code WHILE being fully aware of it.1 -
>building the same app once again because of a bug
>look in the unity editor settings for android
>find "proguard"
>google it, find it might be useful to minify, obfuscate code and other stuff
>try to minify the shit of the app
>original app was 25.1MB
>minified app is 24.6MB
>minified app using "Gradle (Experimental)" is 24.5MB2 -
three days ago my manager force me to complete a huge android app in one week, alone😑
this project contract signed three years ago😑 and my manager every day lie to contractor 👹
i`m new in office and now he wants fuck me 🙄
one week piece shit😡
so whats your idea to safe me😶9 -
Just realised that I've not been on Twitter since downloading this app; just popped on and rejected 8 follower requests from bots, had a look around ... Saw it was still shit and came back here 😬
-
1. Kill Internet Explorer
2. Kill anyone who sell their web/app/design services cheaply that broke the market value
3. Kill anyone who want something in exchange of "exposure" or "you'll get the money when we get funding or IPO" or some shit like that, you name it.1 -
Is it just me or is every app out there just a giant piece of shit riddled with bugs now? Did every company fire all their good devs and testers? It’s all fucking trash3
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Can people at least write a damn comment and tell me why the fuck they don't like the app???
Yesterday I released an update and noticed someone left a new review, without comments, just a one star review.
First I was worried because maybe the update has some nasty bug, but no, this stupid user rated the app without leaving a comment, GREAT!!!
Now google only shows that specific review because the others were of an old version, so great, now anybody wanting to install my app will only see this shit.
If you already took the time to open the play store specifically to rate the app, fucking say something!!! insult me, say it's a bunch of crap but say something you piece of shit!5 -
I'm developing a web app, which is purely based on some commercial .NET driven API. The documentation is a 12 page MS Word file with incorrect parameters and non-existing endpoints. I think there's also a cronjob which purposely crashes their server every 15minutes. I just love getting client emails saying I need to fix my app and get my shit together.
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It is 7:46PM...
I started debugging at 10:30AM...
.Net native making my app crash at startup... even before the logger can write anything...
Just now, I find out it is because of a 3rd party lib...
"Going crazy" can't even begin to describe today...
I really didn't need this shit today... just not today... -
"please try again later" is said when you dont know what the fuck is the problem but you dont want to lose the customer of your app so instead of them uninstalling your broken shit you fearfully tell them "keep trynna do the thing but later, later so u dont forget us cz of how shitty we are"1
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Been working on an Android app for a month and finally when it was time to publish I couldn't pay Developer registration fee for God knows what reason. :/
Keep getting
"An unexpected error occurred. Please try again later"
Feeling like shit :/3 -
App idea: Program that processes funny dog/cat videos and removes the annoying ass thought bubble text they put in them. Like "I is hungreh" or "you is doin me a concern" or whatever. That shit. I hate it.6
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Worst: Spending a week in npm, node, react hell trying to triage a ReactNative iOS/Android app that even the OG dev couldn't fix and FAILING.
This is the only code in like 20 fuckin years that beat me.
Best: Watching the fall of western democracy with a giant shit eating "I told you so" grin.6 -
made my first dart server today, i already fucking love it!
i already used it for flutter, and previous node.js was my backend of choice.
i'd recommend strongly. no matter the platform for the frontend, web or mobile (or desktop app), you can use dart, and you can use it for the backend too!
it's like java but not shit.3 -
Today I tried to make an asp.net app and publish it to iis all without the help of Visual Studio. This is teribly difficult!
Then I had a great idea for website to store my .ppt and .doc files (and other school shit) with mongodb and tried node.js as backend. Holy shit did I really host everything all in 10 lines of js!?!?!!! Comment some great tutorials. -
Yesterday I had to register my new credit card with a national payment app (MobilePay) and it kept giving me error 32, which says "a technical error happened please try again"... Real fucking useful u peace of shit app 😠
Turns out, after a bit of research, that it will sometime crash if you language is not set to a european language. Guess what? I had mine set to English... English (US)... 😧
Like, what the fuck is that? Why would you check if a person might be from EU, be checking the language setting?
Get your shit together 😑3 -
Today :
There are Apps to,
Drink water
Walk
Learn languages
Learn new things
Entertain
Increase productivity
Kill time
Make new friends
Order and eat food
Shop
Transport
...
God bless us,
There's an app for everything in this world
PS : someone soon is gonna come up with an App that helps you track and take a shit :(5 -
HOLY SHIT
FINALLY
AN APP THAT LETS ME USE FIREFOX I STEAD OF SAFARI ON MY FUCKING IPHONE
ITS NOT THAT DAMN HARD APPLE. YOU DID IT FOR THE MAC...
also devrant, plz add browser selection for iOS (yes I already submitted a GH issue)5 -
FML. I have to draw system diagram at 12:00 am and the worst part is I don't even have an app that does that so I need to use my Design app to draw this shit full DIY style. This is not my fucking job fuck you...
I wish my project lead go hell and fucking Satan puts his dick in his ass. MotherFucker then you will understand my pain ASSHOLES3 -
Opens the source code for an app I have to integrate with.
Finds: if($cryptPW == $dbPW)
What the shit?!?!!!!!
Learn to hash! Far out 😢4 -
Second job
Was the lead dev on an ios/android project. I knew that i was not gonna spend much time there and was using them to add shit to the portfolio. my app is in the playstore and seems to be working fine, can't get credit for it and can't bitch about it either since i burned all bridges with that company. the app is a trucking logger logistics ba type of deal for a local company.
i was paid $400 dllrs a week. Yeah I know, ain't shit in the U.S much less Texas. But the thing gave me perspective:
Android development sucks big balls and ios is way easier and nicer on devs.2 -
Spotify app is so full of shit. Everything is so slow, downloaded songs still load slow if there is no internet connection, the ui is atrocious. It's so bad I found myself unconsciously switching to using youtube more and more despite it requiring me to keep the screen alive.17
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My first rant in ages:
Been assigned to a new Laravel project at work and the murthafucking lead dev got no fucking clue how to architect a big laravel app. Lead dev talking trash about encapsulation and every big oop grammar he can find while asking us to come up with an architecture concept for the app.
My annoyance is, the fecking project been in planning for like 7 months and d lead dev keeps saying he is looking for ideas on how we will build the app. Fuck this shit!1 -
At last, after a year and a half working with legacy codebase, I got the greenlight from the seniors to refactor my team's app to modern front end technologies. You know, webpack, unit tests, component based architecture and shit.. I really love it!
My PM doesn't look as enthusiastic though...1 -
You see this? that's Apple fucking up! Uploaded a release and their server could not do its job correctly... Now I need to do another build just to be able to upload the app again
It's been processing for two hours, and there is another build that is processing for a week!
Not only their XCode is shit but also their iTunesConnect is shit, can they just rename the company to Shit, cuz that's what they seem to be best at doing...2 -
Why do people like or even use Discord?
It is the same people behind OpenFeint and Discord - which has some lawsuits against it because the app installed shit on mobile phones without users consents12 -
Grab app notifications system sucks to the max. Actually the whole Grab app sucks when it compared to Uber.
But fucking Uber is expensive and high and all mighty. They are like hey our app is the best, so use if you want or fuck off.
Grab. They are not expensive and they do shit tons of promotions and gives much more coupons. But all the news are sent to that buggy NOTIFICATIONS page and that fucking page is buggy as shit.
I wonder that they are doing it intentionally. Hey give lots of promotions. Just make it hard as fuck for people to access and use it. -
Probably that one time we lost to a shitty app that was of no use to the community and literally scammed the opinion of the jury.
Their concept was a webapp that would suggest a room to study to a student on our campus. It was called "is it free/vacant" but should've been called "is it open" since there is no way of knowing how many seats are occupied, etc.
The jury was amazed, the app was worthless, literally 15 minutes of coding, presentation had a shit ton of buzz words like "were using mongodb to store the classrooms", was just fucking horrible
On the same competition a guy tried to enter his company that was developing the Facebook page managing app for Windows phone, already having a working app and making revenue from it for at least a year lol
We still got second place, but it was a really disappointing second place, shit was rigged yo1 -
I am so sick with shithead designers that heard about android, but decided it was not important enough to consider it and make their design for android and ios exactly the same. And then force you to implement the ios app in android with the same elements, even supressing native out of the box funcionalities.
They get paid for producing poopy smelly shit.2 -
These fucking calendar e-mails. Fuck. Right. Off.
They never display correctly in all clients.
If the meeting is at 1pm, just fucking say that. I don't want to pick through a load of shit only to find that the calendar app lied about UTC.
Just missed a sodding call due to this crap.4 -
Started to rewrite a part of the frontend of a web app I'm building and holy shit, I've never though JavaScript can be so much fun 😁😁3
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Made custom app for company for certain kinds of inspections. Was requested to make a license key for the app that is used internally. This was in case they wanted to franchise the business.
I made zero effort for the code to even protect against a weak attack vector. Like some shitty ass base64 or some shit like that. Any casual could crack it.
Years went by and was not talked about ever again. I took the shitty code I wrote for this out of the app. I can put it back, but guaranteed they will never ask again. -
That moment when you build your app around a clients development API only to find out their production API responds about 8x slower... I'm sorry, it's not my fault your API server takes 4000 ms for a SIMPLE response. My app isn't the problem. Fix your shit.1
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Trying Brave browser as my default on my phone. So went ahead and disabled chrome as I can't uninstall it.
And so many apps lost there shit, LinkedIn 9Gag etc. all started crashing.
Google misusing there Monopoly or just bad app code, I wonder14 -
Does anyone else have a home screen widget that is their contact details as a QR code?
And has anyone found a not-shit android app that'll do it?
I CBA to make one but also it's really useful. I hacked it together with an app that'll scan a QR code and display it as a widget.6 -
My tablet that I had all my code for an app just took a shit out of no where it was never dropped not even a scratch it just went black and well never went back fuck my entire existence7
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It’s been a loooong hiatus from devRant but I’m back and still no swipe to exit a rant. Cmon, that shit would make this app easier to navigate.7
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Have Pocket app.
Save awesome article/site to Pocket.
Swear to read it later.
Open pocket app after a while.
Shit so much saved.
Can't read all of this no time.
Thus begins the infinite loop.4 -
I woke up pumped as hell this morning, it was gonna be the most productive day in history, I was gonna finish that fucking Rails app I've been dragging on for long enough, maybe even go out and get a girlfriend... Then I went to the kitchen and the fucking espresso it's over... Fuck this shit I'm going back to bed.1
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I don't think devrant would work very well in landscape orientation, but could we please get reverse portrait orientation?
I don't know shit about app development but I'm pretty sure that is an option.8 -
So... I’ve recently started a new role, and luckily I’ve established myself as someone that knows his shit (more or less) TM.
I’m leading the charge on tech debt, and raising issues about it, first on my radar is the monstrosity of their approach to app config.
It’s a web app, and they store config in a key-value table in the database.
Get this. The key is the {type}.{property} path and this is fetched from the database and injected *at construction* via reflection.
Some of these objects get instantiated dozens of times per-request. Eurgh. -
well shit. i get back from vacation to find out that facebook disabled our fb app for some violation i forgot to fix before leaving. fuckfuckfuck.
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After lunch today I had review meeting with the stakeholders on project where the content was late plus a lot more than previously stated requiring changes to the angular app. So I ate a shit ton of garlic from the salad bar as we sat and my desk and reviewed it.2
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Holy shit. I'm on the devrant app and I just noticed that the scrollbar on the right does this weird worm thingy.
As I scroll up and down, the scrollbar size keeps changing. It's a cool effect where it twitches like a worm.
Is that an android o feature or something or did @dfox or @trogus add that shet.2 -
I wanna make a mobile app. I just don’t know what to do. I was thinking on a study app , but my mockups were basically a ripoff from an app i used some time ago (funny how we think we can do better, but end up with the same shit). So now, back to square one :/
Any ideas? Anyone needing a very willing developer ?3 -
New gmail is shit, better make a gcloud app for linux instead of redesigning that shit billion times, you fucks8
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So some guys at my brother's college made a sports live score app, which charges 1$ for getting score. He decompiles it, and what we see is bewildering, it is not obfuscated and the link to the json values are hardcoded in the app and the whole login process is just a sham. Seriously, WTF, were the guys thinking!4
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a perfect app name taken by some shitty LQ indian who made a shitty LQ app that doesnt even look good and is broken
i feel like punching that shitty app
and shoving it up his ass
for taking the perfect name of my app that actually looks good and gets the job done
the kid even made about 6-7 accounts on ig about the same app but just putting dashes or underscores as the username THE FUCK?
the site looks so SO goddamn shitty, a lime green color as the background and a white text on that U CANT SEE SHIT THERE
NO PADDING, 3 ITEMS IN NAVIGATION MENU, 1 CHAT MESSAGE EXAMPLE
RUINED THE PERFECT SHIT FOR ME
FUCK U
i feel like going to deepweb and renting a hacker to take down his shitty instagram pages and the domain name, srsly whats the worst thing that can happen?? -
I am so pissed at all the shit I have to do to publish a simple app on the playstore. Every 2 phrases is a threat to ban my account, and target audience, and privacy policy, all of this for an app that is absolutely not serious. And I am not even started with the Apple Store because I am too broke this month to throw $100.4
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Deploying web apps is a bitch and a half. I need to learn how to dockerize my shit - spent all day trying to deploy a laravel app on a digital ocean instance and it didn’t even work. Wish my work ended after pushing to github.4
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TL;DR Asus is a scumbag company when it comes to software.
I love Asus, they make awesome hardware but man do they blow ass when it comes to software and their customer support. They had perfectly working Link To MyAsus app (on Windows and Android) but no no no, we have to release updates and break this shit. Now I cannot use my phone as a webcam.
Fuck this shit.5 -
I wanted to create a messenger bot.
Time to create the bot: 15 minutes. I test it, everything works, I send request, receive response, and so on.
Time to embed it inside a messenger app: 3 fucking hours.
SERIOUSLY GUY, AND I ALSO FAILED, I DON'T UNDERSTAND A SHIT SO FUCKING MUCH BUREAUCRACY I SWEAR GETTING A VISA FOR CANADA IS 1000 TIMES EASIER.
What is a send/receive? What have I to pay for? Why I need to be a USA citizen? Why I need approval? Approval for what? Why you say I configured the app correctly if you never call the Hooker? The hell I've to do? Aaaaaaaaaa3 -
For an exam we have to develop an app starting from the documentation (still the hardest part), like risk plain, timing projection ecc. we did all this stuff in time, except for the app. At the ending of time the professor ask to us how the app was going, and well... we bluffed, we said that we only need more time (at that point we have only installed Android Studio and JFK) but the prof give us an other month for the app, so we decide (me and my friend because in my team (4students) only 2 of us want to do something.. btw we learn how to work on Android Studio an develop a ugly, tiny but working app (the app consists in a remainder for your pet stuff like give it food,water or take it out ecc..). We took the max vote -1 because u know, timing is important ;) and yes, this is the story of my first, ugly, app :D My friend an I are so proud of that tiny shit 😄1
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I now have further proof that Android 9's fancy Battery Management is shit:
The compass on my new (flagship) smartphone uses the air pressure sensor and the air pressure at sea level to display your current elevation. The air pressure at sea level is fetched from the weather app. And of course, the weather app has its battery policies set to auto-managed.
Can you guess what happened? "Weather app could not be found" and an elevation of -17m
Because no one thought the battery manager could decide that the weather app should not be launched by other apps. Has no one thought this through? Good thing I figured out what was happening pretty quickly.2 -
App Developer - Today, I have published an app for saving anyone's work routine.....plz download it from play store
Web Developer - Sure! I will and I also have a website for my business. You should visit it once
App Developer - What is your monthly income?
Web Developer - About $2100
App Developer - Uh! mine will be more than urs if it reaches more than 100K downloads
Web Developer - Sure!
(1 year later)
App Developer - Oh Shit! I forgot to add ads using admob......earned only $52 -
Mf php and mf mysql database. Fuck you for being such a cunt.wasted my whole fucking day to configure the shit i didnt even broke. All i wanted from your ass was a storage for users but no you piece of shit. And a fucking special mention for php bcz that shit is a stinky piece of work.
All this aside i need a db which can store some data and is easy to use and not an sql one for my very small cllge project. Anything that i can use from my java app.8 -
So, I need to customize some shit for my company's app...
Just discovered they somehow manage to call a protected method on an object stored in a field... I can't even... How does that even compile? And also, things neccessary for my subclass are private with no getter...
private static final int ZERO = 0;
private static final int ONE = 1;
private static final int TWO = 2;
What. The. Hell. Why?
Damn Java. Though this is the programmer's fault, it does seem to favor this kind of shit.2 -
At the end of the day...does the end consumer REALLY give a shit about what language you program in? As long as the app fucking does what it's supposed to right? I feel like this is a never ending rant for me because it seems like programmers will never understand that it doesn't matter as long as the end consumer / client is happy.2
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As a Ruby dev I know I've been spoiled. It's so fucking easy to natively manipulate data in a Ruby app.
But seriously...come the fuck on Python...
You mean to tell me that I have to script out the entire logic to dedup an array?! Something that's an inherent part of EVERY project?
Sorry for the rant, but I just cannot fathom why ANYONE would use Python to write a full application. It's great at scripting, but a shit-stain-to-maintain for true app development.
I want to drop-kick the asshole who decided to write this fucker of an app in Python.
Also, fuck Python for taking ~20 years to add a fucking switch statement.19 -
*Downloads vs community and runs installer*
"An update for the installer needs to be downloaded"
*Updates installer*
"Installer will now download vs community"
*15gb later, runs vs community and starts new c# console app*
"C# development kit needs to be downloaded"
*Downloads c# development kit*
"Windows updates are ready to be installed"
Fuck. This. Shit.2 -
Facebook messenger app be like:
"Something went wrong, please try again"
No shit,when you r trying too make another snapchat app...1 -
My phone has a useless Google Discover page on home screen that I can't use without singing in with Google and agreeing to them collecting data. 😐
So now I have a useless page on my home screen. (Really, somebody needs to make a layering over app for this shit that just gets my preferred feed and fill it here to makes use of this space. )10 -
Man it really pisses me off when people try to manage shit by keeping all the windows on the same desktop, meanwhile i create a new desktop for every app i open.7
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Just setup a new phone cause old one is flaking out. Spent two hours uninstalling bullshit. The default weather app had fucking tiktok video ads running in the app! Fuck you motorola! I uninstall this piece of shit weather app. Then this non shitty weather app appears. Fuck you motorola! That should have been the default. Turned off all the suggestions bullshit, uninstalled like 20 garbage pos apps, took 10 minutes to figure out how to shut off phone because new android os is fucking retarded. Fuck you google! Seriously you changed the fucking power button to pop up the stupid voice shit! Fuck you google!
The whole time I am waiting for the setting I can't change so I can return this shitty phone. Fuck you motorola!
I dunno, we will if this isn't complete shit.
STOP RUINING EVERY FUCKING THING! Fuck you shitty ass phone manufacturers!
At the end of the day, at least I ain't a retarded Apple user... I am just a retarded aNdRoId uSeR!
What did go smoothly? Transferring my old data wasn't complete shit. Its a 5G phone, but it still only seeing LTE. Fuck you T-Mobile!
I hope there was enough "fuck yous" in this post.6 -
Lost 3 days because of shitstorm not knowing why my nextjs localhost app wasnt working just go the 3rd day on mongodb dashboard and have a warning that mongodb will block any connections of ip addresses that are not manually added (i have no idea how mongodb works other than just how to use it in code)
Because the shitstorm knocked me off the internet for 3 days (will probably be for over 7 days cause these assholes dont give a shit to fix it) i dont have wifi access so my localhost app cant work
However my dads android has unlimited gb of 4g internet access so i connect to his hotspot and then try to run the app but still fails. I thought i cant run the app until my internet gets fixed from shitstorm just to find out i had to manually allow the inbound IP address of the android phone into the mongodb dashboard. And now it works fine. Fuck off6 -
I wasn’t paid for this, this was part of a school project I had to do about 2 years ago when I was in 9th grade.
We had to do something in biology and me and my friend both decided we should make an informational app that shows info about different kinds of birds. It was an Android app, it was before I moved to iOS development.
We knew absolutely nothing about advanced layout development and constraints and layouts or anything, and we barely knew how to navigate the Android UI framework.
We had like 5 days to work on this shit. We wanted it to look nice and somehow we came up with a layout that doesn’t look all fucked up between form factors and we barely had to code anything in Java, it was all just layouts and shit. But we knew absolutely NOTHING.
We totally failed. The project stunk so much I don’t have a backup of it anywhere and I am glad that is so.
Looking back at this shit ass project, I can see how much I learned in the process in terms of app development and my general knowledge and skills in computer science, 99% of it by teaching myself.1 -
React Native, Flutter, Xamarine, Cordova hope all of you fucking burn in hell! Piece of shit solutions...
Just want to simply enable remote JS debuggin but the fucking app stops reloading when that shit is turned on. Now how the fuck am I supposed to know what the fuck is wrong with my code, disable remote JS debugging and app loads again.
Fuck this shit!6 -
Thank you google for providing useless shit as description for your app updates and thank you app devs for following Google's idiocy. Now, when you actually add a new but useful feature to your app I have no way of knowing it until I stumble on it by accident.
🖕!!!3 -
Ffs. I thought I never had to touch development for ios devices anymore but I was wrong.
The god damn piece of shit hybrid app build in apache cordova works perfectly fine on android but guess what, after signing that pile of crap with xcode it won't work on ios because somehow that retarded os forgets to listen for click events on a simple fucking button which is used to activate the app.
Had to create a virtual machine with osx and wait for xcode to instal, sign that app only to figure out it won't work..
Even after seaching google for 3 FUCKING HOURS there are still no FUCKING RESULTS.
I'm done with the entirety of apple and all their products. -
Been working on a backend-service, sending notifications to our app. Shit didn’t work in backend. I made some adjustments, commited and pushed. Didn’t think it would work and just went home.
Our tester had a app-version connected to my dev-server(Continous Delivery from my last commit). Got an email. ”I see you got the notifications working”. I had a high polling-rate in backend for testing. He got spammed lol
At least my code worked 😂1 -
Fuck Apple with two pineapples in the ass. 99€ per fucking year to tell me how the fuck should the access to my app be. I damn require users to sign up. I only need email and country. Not a single other piece of data. My app is not a goddamn catalogue or boutique. No free content, free app but each user needs to Auth themselves. You fucking telling me y pay 99€ so you decide how the access to my app should be?
Cunt Apple should rot in 10 day old humid shit and let devs be owners of their apps and hard work. Clowns.7 -
PHP scripters bashing OOP saying it's shit, yet I have NEVER seen them writing a procedural app that encapsulates business logic correctly3
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Looks like google dumbed down the YouTube home page by making it look like some retarded mobile app. Fuck this shit I'm not using my fingers and my fingers arent so fat that I need 5 cm large thumbnail ffs.3
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My bank's website is the shittiest fucking site in the world. It literally kills my phone, to the point where my browser takes a full 5 minutes to exit.
The latest bug I mean feature they have rolled out interrupts your login with a fullscreen modal which asks if you want the app or to continue on the site.
Well, the fact that I'm in a browser means I've already made up my mind so why don't you go and fuck yourself? And based on the quality of your website, do you really think I want to voluntarily install software that you've sellotaped together onto my device?
Thought not.
Go and fuck yourself you pieces of shit.2 -
Have to upgrade Android app that connects to Bluetooth device and reads data.
I found the app creates new thread every line read from the device's Bluetooth stream, then reuses 1 object for every reading to store the state of the device in Jsonarray, then every thread creates a new thread to upload the data on cloud. Oh, I almost forget that is all working in one UI sctivity, and the same thread that parse the data updates the UI.
Deadline is next Monday and I don't know where to start editing my shit to place MY shit.
Fuck me I guess? -
Any native app devs know if this is possible, before I go away and start messing about with shit.
I want to build a companion native app to my web app for the sole purpose of receiving in app push notifications.
So you set all the shit up on the web app and then the native app is just to get push messages. I currently send sms messages with the Twilio API but would rather the app solution.1 -
Who the fuck is responsible for the ui/ux of the youtube app its fucking annoyingly shit. Terrible!! Fucking start again you alphabet wankers.4
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Hey look at these awesome features we offer in the new version!
*carefully upgrades servers*
*app runs smoothly for few hours*
(Docker container exited with code 137) x 100
OutOfHeapMemory errror
Another dev: "I can't see the data flowing through the pipeline"
Boss: "Hmm, why did we upgrade again?"
*checks jira issue for the software*
Bug Report #125 fixed in the next version.
Aha!
Fuck this shit!1 -
1. Business users and their sudden issues that need immediate fixing
2. Other devs responsible for their app on the team that can't get their shit straight -
When you are coding a site and think it would be a great idea to hook it up to the app engine SDK. Nope wrong move now it has just gone to shit :(
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See this? Dont ever fucking tell me to use mongodb. Half the time this website is fucking broken and down. Imagine you have a production ready app that is now also fucked because this piece of shit is fucked. I always viewed anyone using mongodb as DUMB fking shitass script kiddy with a small dick helping bill gates to gangrape some kids at the epstein island11
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I want to make a "game" on learning spoken languages so people can study while not stressing out on the learning.
The disadvantages:
-Vocab
-Method to memorize is different with every person
-Stress and frustration
-Motivation killer
Advantages:
-Can be interesting, depends on user's interest and willingness
-Explore vocab by exploring or reading in-game texts
-Grammar is heavily broken down to help relate meanings and thorough understanding of a sentence as well as slang
--
Why I put disadvantages first was to see how the software will impact a person's negativity/postivity when using it. As in for example, when you see something that is difficult to understand, users tend to procrastinate or drop it due to it being "difficult"/alienated.
-- onto the rant--
Many apps have really awful way of teaching, its just 3-4 apps chucked into 1 aka all-in-one and expects people to pay just because of the all-in-one app containing flash cards, sentences, audio etc. I use my phone (android) and normally during my intern or my way to school, I would do my reading in the other languages, (separate apps, all free). Also apart from that, students sometimes take 2 years to learn but drop because it's difficult.
TL:DR; apps and classes give shitty lessons, I want to outdo them and let students have a better chance at studying new spoken languages.2 -
"Download our app for some lovely additional ass licking features....."
Why tech industry love apps? also I hate these days not only mobile phones, but also computers are in progression of "applification."
Programs are only installed do some advanced things that were absurd and inappropriate to work on web browser. like video editing or programming, or file management.. etc. but in recent days, everything is fucking apps. why just not improve your web version of your service and make the shortcut from that? Weather app. youtube app. reddit app. 'tips' app by apple that is totally useless. news app. map app. so much wasteful. these kind of services are MUST be on the UPPER layer than the web browser laid on. also apps are taking much resources on local hardware and that makes my hardware too much slow.
That is not how tech works. that is not how software engineering, hardware engineering works, every single thing in technology must NOT work like that. If it does, then that is not technology, and just stack of cow shit.3 -
To all the laravel developers: is there no way to get a clean new app without having to clean out all the default shit? Lumen seems to be pretty good for minimalism, but obv. doesnt provide as much as Laravel, so what do you use or do - do you each time clean out a laravel app before you start developing on it?..5
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To be a Java (or other business popular language) developer
* Java 6, 8 and features up to 14
* SQL + nosql
* Caching
* Logging eg log4j2,
* Searching eg elastic stack
* Reactive
* Framework (at least 1, but hey, knowing 1 is lame..)
* Networking or at least base http knowledge
* Tomcat, jboss or other shit
* Aws, heroku, GCE or other SAAS/paas
* Rest, RPC, soap
* Business Hello World example
* Hexagonal Architecture
* TDD
* Ddd
* Cqrs
* 12 app factor
* Solid
* Patterns
* docket
* Kubernetes
* Microservices
* Security, oauth2
* concurrency
* AMPQ
* Cloud
* Eureka or consul as service Discovery
* Config server
* Hazel cast
*
*
* Endless story ...
Then we can start hello word app2 -
Why hasn't Google told us 5 years ago that we should use fragments whenever possible so it won't be a pain in the arse to add a navigation drawer?! 😥4
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Fucking stupid sons of motherless goats!!!
Some stupid shit made a cluster fuck about our response time and web app velocity because: each call needed more than 3s to show... While the motherfucker was using 3G!!!!!!!!!
The application is an analytics dashboard...1 -
making a blog, what cms should i use?
i plan to program it little, and i need to publish things from my phone
i have a namecheap hosting plan
wordpress is a 1 click install, but they have alternatives too
i saw wordpress has an app, but people on devRant keep talking about how wordpress is shit. what should i do?
i've not used a cms before10 -
Booted into my Windows doing uni assignment (Windows Form App, didn't wanna use VM), was bored so I decided to run Windows Update...
"Feature update to Windows 10, version 1709".....
Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.....
Enter hour 3, "Preparing to install updates 97%", can't do shit in Visual Studio without lagging cause of this damn update1 -
Stupid chatGPT UI is broken lmao. Can't scroll or do anything. What to expect from people for who making a simple chat app is too much. Can't believe we're paying for this shit.55
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Anyone else's job expect you to fix bugs in your niche app that even the global giants don't give a shit about? Like, have you seen the weird shit that happens with YouTube and Hulu? Our app has neither the staff nor the budget of these big brands, if they haven't fixed it, we probably won't.2
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Fuck you System dot fucking Value fucking tuple you stupid piece of shit reference. This garbage half the time won’t install properly on local, app works fine on local without it, then I fight with it for hours getting it to work on the server because the server is a different .NET environment. It’s always this one giving me problems, always.
So go fuck yourself System.ValueTuple -
Wrote a script for mail merge with app script works flawless on my account, then that shit gives message blocked error with the clients account.
I think this is what they say a devlife1 -
I recommend "Productvity Challenge Timer" for all you lazy guys who can't get shit done. It's a neat Android App which really helps me to motivate myself.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...3 -
Thinking about a new annotation:
@JavaCondom
on function: it puts "... throws Exception " at the end
on class: reflection puts "... throws Exception" on every goddamn function
It could have global app property which makes appends every exception with a reassuring message like: "There is so much java code out there already, that this shit will never ever end"2 -
What do you think about my sibling observation today (he/she is not in software):
- if you want make money in any company, deal with all the shit: incompetent co-workers, shitty management, unreasonable deadlines, misinterpreted Agile, no test coverage, etc.
- if you want to grow and develop yourself: join some easy startup or make your own app/project3 -
So worked myself into stupor for a react-native app(first -time). It is the client part for large system ecosystem. Was rough at first but after initail field test and refactor to the code base it is in 95% stable form. This all happend in 2 months. During this time co-workers build rest of system in node and other backend magic sauce 👩💻 .
My app has sibling app to collab with. I make a note (early in the development of this sibling app) that the ui is not working for the use case and get in a heated debate with co-workers. Concede 🙌 that it is not my part of the system and leave it to them, they blame the fact that no design was given. Fast forward to yesterday I get munched by client that wants to showcase the system to large company and has to struggle with sibling app. I tell him it is something "we" would look at in the next cycle ( covering for my coworkers) .
I feel shit and year now starts off with crappy feeling that all my hard work to get my app to decent version of itself is lost☠️ . -
@dfox @trogus
Kinda’ NOT(x+x) = rant, but still would like to have some way of direct message system in the app, i guess it will be added in the near future but im getting more frustrated by the hour when not being able to communicate directly with a user without a mention publicly and offtopic’ing the main rant’s subject.
Another thing would be cool to have the app in landscape mode without losing its ui/ux integrity. Think “iphone 6” ergonomics when at restful position.
Just realized how monstrous this app could get and be if the team grew and started implementing shit ton of APIs to connect and centralize every coding dev scheme.
And not sure if its okay or not but, I just mentioned myself! XD iMessages dejavu?3 -
The amazon music app.
I don't know what's more annoying. Is it the general shittiness of it, the way they've made trying to find anything into some kind of fucked up magic mushroom experience?
Or is it the fact that they've intentionally made it shit because their marketing knobheads think that'll make people buy subscriptions?
Or is it the fact that the marketing knobheads are probably right?
It actually makes economic sense for them to turn their app into a steaming, heaving pile of shit, because millions of people will buy a subscription in direct response to the shitness of the app.
Stop making me swim through shit, you motherless son-of-a-bitches, and I might actually buy stuff.
But that doesn't matter, because enough people will buy stuff *because* you're making them swim through shit.3 -
TL:DR; Samsung pc to phone app was shit.
So samsung last time had an app that links music, etc from folder directly which means it doesnt copy but uses those files unlike itunes which was to navigate, but thats another thing altogether
I wanted to delete some music files from the app. I checked and checked and checked.. and I fucked up. I deleted the entire 4gb of music in my folder.
Everything gone. I tried recovering them after 1 hr, they were all corrupted.
I had back up but they were only 1gb of everything :(2 -
Although 80% of the company is on vacation, we were forced to put out a beta version of the biggest part of our app that's used by tens of thousands of people.
The best is that everyone knows this is a terrible idea but they still don't give a shit. -
Fuck the dev! Who decided to change shit on their site without telling me...
It's your fucking app do you want it to work!?
I can't connect the two if you keep changing shit!
I know this dev to be a fucking asshole!6 -
Made a working full stack native app..
QA-"what happens if I change my time and try to fool the time based component."
Why didn't you tell about that earlier you piece of shit!!!! -
WHAT THA SHIT FUCK!!!
FUCKING HEROKU
so I've got an apl running on heroku and yes its a free account
Apparently apps running on free accounts are turned off after an hour of not receiving requests
Ok that's reasonable
So I did some digging and found out there are free solutions to keep your app running
Ok thats good even on heroku there is a free add-on for that
Ok I click on add add-on
AND FUCK SHIT!!!
a huge ass red notification flashes
"//some SH
Verify your account and provide your credit card details
"
IT FUCKING SAYS {FREE}5 -
What would you do? Finished a mobile app project for a contract. Normally, I'd be off looking for another app project to work on, but the company I'm at asked me to write documents for an unrelated project. I hate writing docs, but I am billing $80/hr
Not near enough info to do much of any documentation , so waiting on answers. In the meanwhile, my email and phone are blowing up from recruiters looking for mobile app devs.
I can either work with recruiters to find a job I love or spend time muddling through creating documentation with little or no info.
What would you do? Collect a paycheck for shit you hate doing? Or just spend the time looking for something you do like to do? -
Don't even know how to start. I currently work as technician (fix broken shit devices like apple and manage our servers).
Before the rant, here's a note: I'm a newbie-ish something.. Like I do some Java and Android stuff but nothing amazing (yet).
Here's my rant:
Boss: Hey, you mentioned in your CV that you do some programming.
Me: Yep, but just starting. Already made few apps but nothing crazy big.
Boss: Well, doesn't really matter. But, can you make an app and a website for us? We'll decide on the budget later.
Me: *kinda suspicious* Ehm, yep? I'll just make a wireframe and show you what I came up with.
*few weeks later*
Boss: So how's the app doing?
Me: I told ya that I'm making only wireframe. If you want the app you can:
a) pay for it
b) don't do anything and I'll make it open-source
Boss: No don't do that. We want the source on our FTP server.
Me: Riiight... That's a big no-no for me. It's gonna be on VCS, otherwise you can forget about the app and web.
Boss: *staring silently at me*
Me: ...
To this day, not a single response from him. We had one meeting where I presented the Website and app design, everyone was ok with it but no answer when I asked about the budget. Should I just scrap these projects and continue making them on github ('cuz I kinda like to learn new shit this way)5 -
Just received code review from interview technical task. 50 percent of it was because of encapsulation (that 5-8 variables could have been private instead of public). 20 percent was about shit that was expected but missing (error validation, dependency injection). It was missing because it was not specified in app requirements and also noone said that I have to build a production level application for a simple interview here. 10 percent was nitpicking about formatting(I used default intellij formatter) and one ide error that appeared because of project importing. And only 20 percent of feedback was actually constructive and useful. Cool. Also developer said that he was shocked that I made loading animation but didnt call it in my app. However I made it, but if you have fast internet connection it doesnt show up. I mean if you run my app on a phone with gprs connection u will see that damn animation. What Im supposed to do slow down the app so u could see it? But we are building production level app here no? Shit. It feels like he applied double standards to me or something. Half of review nitpicking about useless details and another half about shit that is expected to be in the app but was not even communicated. Also I did not get developers contact so I could ask him what the fck he wanted from me.1
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This is the second company I've joined where someone has chosen contentful instead of just using one of the many other coherent headless cms.
Why does all the data look like shit? Why am I being forced to use their shitty js lib. I want an endpoint through rtkquery damn it like the rest of the app.
Contentful can burn in hell. -
i'm new to coding, and today my boss (i'm a scholar btw, not getting paid shit), asked me to review his VB net app... it was a total mess that i wish i could show, but intellectual property exists...xD
is it just the language or should i quit? i want to do it already.4 -
FUCK.... FUCK THE FUCK
When I test my app everything works
When someone tests SHIT doesn't work on signing up user
WTF !!!!!
if you have the time try registering
Info doesn't hve to be legit
Just make sure password is >= 4 characters
https://lenode.herokuapp.com5 -
That feeling when you get a call about your Android COSU app release being shit, because the positioning does not work at all.
- are the Sim cards activated? -> ofcourse I did, do you think I'm stupid?!?
- did you enabled data? -> what? gps doesn't need data!
-RTFM -
Browse to ionic page when it's in version 1. Scroll down to their documentation , almost there about to complete reading their documentation, ionic releases version 2. Get your system setup for ionic 2. Browse through their page for native nom packages , find ionic V3 there... !!! What the fuck .!!!??? Am I the only one experiencing this ?1
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Rant 1
---
Seriously what is the fucking difference between github gitlab bitbucket? Is it like the whatsapp/viber/signal shit?
Whatsapp was the first to create a system for free chatting? Then viber came along and copied the exact same fucking bullshit like whatsapp? Then signal came along and copied the same bullshit? And all other apps too?
Github was the first to create a system of GIT? And then gitlab came along and copied the exact same bullshit? Then bitbucket copied the same horseshit too?
Rant 2
---
1) echo "shit" > recruiter.txt
2) echo "shit" >> recruiter.txt
> Will create the file if not exists and OVERWRITE the text inside it
>> Will create the file if not exists and APPEND the text inside it
This is the only difference
Correct?
Rant 3
---
Fuck this devrant ass shit for making me wait 2h to post a new rant. What are we in 1995? Not even facebook has this stupid restriction. Not any social media app EVER in existence. This shit is whack. U fear someone spamming the shit out of the app. But thats GOOD FOR U because you then have active people creating content on ur platform. Put this restriction away before i slap my dick on ur face!12 -
When people tells you electron is not that bad, make them download Binance app...
Worst shit ever, freezes my pc every ten minutes, is laggy as hell, it’s a pain in the ass to update. -
There is a comic book app, let's call it 'the fucking awful crunchy roll manga app'.
Over two years, and four devices, 80% of the time it loads pages out of order, or the same three pages over and over, Making books unreadable. Reseting the app or device does not fix it. It's just random when it works.
Point being. Its a god damb gallery app! That's programing 101 shit. How dose a company this big, That does two things, stream video and display images in order, completely fuck up half of their entire market for years with no one fixing it?
I could program this thing in a week end. That's not a brag. This is almost literally a 'apps for dummies' throw away project .
Why? Just WHY?2 -
!rant, so I'm trying to decide on what caching system I should use. It's for a PHP app, using Symfony as framework, tlgether with Doctrine for DB. The caches in Question are memcached, APCu or redis.
The goal: speed shit up.
The app currently uses Symfony 2.8 and is hosted on a single server (so no distributed system is needed). I'd currently opt for APCu, but more since it's not distributed, there won't be an overhead from that. A nice thing about memcached would be the abillity to store user seeions, even if we would decide to have multiple servers in the future.
What would you reccomend and why?3 -
I'd heard about Project Managers being overpromising and dishing out short deadlines but we just got one dumped on us by a fellow developer for something our startup and theirs agreed to work on...
We gotta remake two fully function admin dashboards and the company's app on top of having our own startup shit to work on.
Kill me. -
When I tried to start a company and failed miserably. MVP was shit. Much harder to build a decent web app than I anticipated.3
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People not using FaaS (like aws lambda or azure functions ) to build chat bots (facebook, slack) but using express based (or any webserver based) application deserves a place in hell.
Can't think why would you use expressJS based app for chat bot. Especially with event emitter shit. At least for Lucifers sake document which event triggers what. Please. -
I (frontend) was given 2 weeks to develop a new feature of the app. Almost after the end of 1 week, backend guy was finished with his code , with still bugs pending. Since backend wasn't ready for most part of the development process, I was working on my part, basically creating functionality and created views using the UI guys wireframes.
Now, we were on a time crunch , I didn't got enough time to improve the wireframes or to work with the UI guy . I released on staging environment and no one liked the UI.
App feature was supposed to be released on Tuesday. Shit hit the fan and i had to create a new ui, code the new parts of the app, do shit ton of other work and extending the deadline to today.
As of now backend code is still not fully functional,
app is ready but edge cases still not tested and I have to pull an all nighter to finish this fucking piece of shit.2 -
I told them I can do everything from front end, back end, to iOS and mac app, just not Android. I don't like Android. Now they are assigning Android tasks to me, I am working like shit and very unhappy.
Am I not professional or is this ok?2 -
Been building a Shopify app for 2 months now. Every time I look at the code, Im adding more feature. Fuck. At this rate I'll never have people telling me how shit of an app this is to make it better.
-
Currently working on a (school) app that allows quicker access to links than navigating the website.
Because apparently, the school has shit web devs.
Fantastic. -
Want to use RFCOMM on iOS.
Need to enrol in MFi program.
Fuck Apple.
I have a complex project that now has to support BLE cause an iOS app is required. Can someone explain why the fuck Apple does this shit?4 -
So do you think this will finally mean we get a proper Linux version of this shit storm of an app?
https://theverge.com/2023/2/...9 -
Made an app for a client on both iOS and Android, published the the app on app store and google play at the same time week ago, google published the app within 2 hours, apple still though, WHY THE FUCK WE PAY THEM 99$ LER YEAR BRUH, THEY NEED A CERTIFICATE OF OWNER SHIP ON THE APP BRAND NAME SMH, CHANGE THIS AND THAT, FUCK THIS SHIT 2 WEEKS TO PUBLISH AN APP AND MY CLIENT IS YELLING WTF3
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I think you already know by now, but I have to say it. The update of the discord app is utter shit, brought only downgrades to me and they still refuse to fix bug that have been prevalent on their platform for years to force their shiny, new, untested bullshit down your throat
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So, our App is gonna go live soon, but on QA Test-Users were gone/not accessable.
PM is full edge, since there's a presentation in 30min. Tells me to call the Clients host again (Since they manage the users) so it gets done. And I may not hang up till it is.
Issue is, I already called the dude 3 times within 10min already, and as I call him again, he gets furious (obv.) that I call him all day and nag that that shit geta done.
Good shit, now both have an anger on me. ffs1 -
I had an issue with a Firebase Android app dependency a long time ago. Today I went to check up on it and it's STILL untouched.
Get your shit together, Google. -
Fuck you google. Fuck you and your "you can only use my shit everywhere and if you have another account you can suck it's cock, but I'm not gonna accomodate it" attitude.
I can't even import my outlook contacts into the "google" contacts app, which is the only contacts app on my phone.
You actually mean that I gotta export my outlook contacts physically and then import them into your ass-tarded contacts platform to see even see them, let alone call them up?
Fuck. You.
Can someone please suggest alternatives/work arounds?5 -
Fucking Samsung should get their shit together. I can't even disable default apps on my phone I had to individually disable permissions for all my app settings.
.
.
.
PS: If anyone received any nude pics of mine, it was totally not intentional. ^_^
.
Thanks have a great day. :)4 -
Fuck MEGA cloud
Website just won't load
Sometimes updates are not reflected in cloud, so you can't download new folder you have just synced
Andriod app is total shit, you can't even sync files
What cloud storage are you using?8 -
Just built out my first app using Cloudflare Workers, Typescript, and DurableObjects. Holy shit, this is nice stuff.
It's taken little to no time to build out:
* JSON API written in Typescript
* JWT verification against my OAuth backend (SAML support too)
* CI Automated Deployments including unit tests
* DurableObject support
* 3rd party HTTP calls + caching (built in to the framework!) to reduce network latency and hiccups.
* Cron-like tasks on each stored object so they can awaken the app on a schedule and update themselves as necessary
* Rapid deployment to new environments
The local testing with coordinated "miniflare" is dreamy too. -
Optics matter. You could be doing a shit job (as a developer), but if you keep up the good optics with the boss, agreeing to build a calculus app in the future, even though the multiplication api you are currently working on keeps throwing error, you'll look good.2
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Me just now:
> finishes adapting an app for my purposes in android studio
Time to export a signed apk!
> successfully locates the keystore I generated a year ago
> even remembers the passwords
Nice! Now I can finally close Android Studio!
One second after I close it:
Shit, I forgot to enable dark mode
> reopens android studio
(The dark mode normally becomes accessible through in-app purchases, but since I built the app from source those don't work)3 -
Originally designed backend to work one way but then frontend UX was shit because of how the app was structured. Have reworked frontend to be structured differently and now I have to work around the original backend structure because I don't have time to rewrite it. Everything's a mess. It works, but it could be way simpler.
This sucks.1 -
Does anyone know how to publish MS Teams app to the app source so that anyone can install it? MS Teams docs are shit and can't figure out the procedure for the submission. It's been 2 days since I reached out to their support team and no response yet.
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Stop asking me if I want to play rugby or other sports for that matter! I'm a coder and I've never been known for playing sports, my lack of shoulders should be a giveaway. I cant image I've ever been picked for a sports team. Oh but I'll code my shit out of any situation so guess I'll make a sports game / app. Fuck off.4