Food arrives, boss grabs his food.

Boss: ahhhh finally! *looks lovingly at food* you won't hear me for the next 15 minutes 😍 *starts eating*
Me: well that was about fucking time.
Boss: 😐😶
Other engineers: 😂 *trying to keep food in*

Just riding a Segway eating a sandwich rocking my devRant sweatshirt.

Sleep schedule : fucked 😮
Eating schedule : fucked 😓
Me : not getting fucked 😭

Complaining about Chrome's RAM usage is like eating fast food.
It's good, it's fast, you love it, all day every day. Then you complain about being fat.
😂

I'm late to work
...Because I'm still eating breakfast
...Because I'm browsing devRant
... And writing a rant about being late to work
... Which remind me...

FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!

Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !

*eating at the local pizza restaurant*
me to waitress: hey do u guys support Bitcoin?
waitress: Yes we do!
me: great! I'd like to pay.
*waitress passes over the bill*
*i open my wallet and pull out a physical Bitcoin*
*waitress stares really confused at my Bitcoin with the scanner device in her hand*

I now understand the double tap feature. It's really useful when your reading devRant while eating.

Some do it with coffee, some with tea, some in their house, some in a cafe, but I do it in a shawarma restaurant while eating a shawarma!

Wiire-Shark Doo doo doo doo doo
Eating our internet Doo doo doo dooo doo
Why you do this? Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Wireshark.

Is it OK to make chewing noise when eating in the office a meter away from your colleagues?

I have the answer for you my friend:
.
.
.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO.

1. See new shiny tech
2. Read install/setup instructions
3. Make Hello World/Todo app by copying codeblocks from documentation
4. Update LinkedIn profile
5. Insist on rewriting entire company ecosystem

Oh wait, thats my horseshit-eating coworker

Client called and a colleague picked up. Within 10 minutes his face went from happy to nearly eating himself in order to remain calm (veeery above average dumb/stupid person)

It was insanely entertaining to watch how he tried to keep himself together!

Yes, I've got sadistic tendencies sometimes 😊

*trying to learn Android programming*

Oh shoot, Android studio is eating lots of RAM
...
The hell Chrome!! Don't compete with him!

(First time i saw my swap was ever used)

Mastering git has become the best thing ever. I feel like a real code monkey. Swinging from branch to branch. Eating all the bug-eeee eeee ahhhhh oooh aaaaaaAAHHHHHH!

Friend just asked me to quickly type some stuff he quoted. Fair enough, I like helping out!

"you'll have to do it on windows though"

Ah that's alright haha.

*types in word for 15 minutes, one page done*

(note: genuine word and windows 10 without bloatware etc etc)

*presses ctrl+s*
*clicks save as*

*computer freezes*

😓😨

*waits anxiously*

*computer unfreezes*

*phew*

*presses save as again*

*BLUE SCREEN*

MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT. SOMEONE PLEASE DESTROY THIS FUCKING SNAKE LICKING, DOG EATING, COCK SUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM.

FUUUUUUUUUCK.

My chewing algorithm needs improvement. Almost choked eating a fucking kebab.

Fuck you. Really.

For buying a pizza for lunch, bringing it to the office and eating it at your desk.

I was just sitting here eating my lunch, but hey. I guess I have to go get a pizza now. Dammit.

Sometimes I wish I was a cow, eating grass in some field

No more code
No more stress
Just moo

*wiggles the mouse on my Windows box to activate it again and watch some videos while eating*

Le wild BSOD appears!!
Windows used KERNEL_SECURITY_CHECK_FAILURE!!! It's super effective!
Hah! Well, you know.. it's fucking true. Windows' kernel security is a fucking joke.

First time that I actually laughed at a BSOD like this. Thanks Microshit!

So today the Manager told my coworker that "going to the toilet" is an excuse. We all work from home, "eating", "shiting", and anything other than work is considered excuses.

What in the bloody fuckery fuck is this?

after weeks of living on my own the inevitable occurred.

I forgot to eat.

it's so distracting to eat. When I'm focused on something I just want to get it done. but by the time I'm done it's way past eating time.

Chrome eating ram like:

!rant

**Getting ideas to solve a bug**

While Coding:
🤔

While Eating:
💡

While Sleeping:
💡💡

While in Bathroom:
💡💡💡

!dev

Me *downloading some weird linux distro to test in VirtualBox - I only do this once a month for like 1 hour*
my brother: Oh my god! Are you downloading something again? Moooom he is downloading something non-stop

every day:
my brother *watching some series/YouTube videos/playing ping-sensitive multiplayer games - all the fucking time, everything he does all day is this + eating and sleeping*
me *retrying multiple times to load anything, including devRant* 😒😠

My Friends say i´m no dev...
Why???? :(
I love do Sports,
I have free time,
I´m eating healthy,
I don't like coffee....

Consequences Associated with Burnout:

- sleep deprivation ✅
- change in eating habits ✅
- increased illness due to weakened immune system ✅
- difficulty concentrating and poor memory/attention ✅
- lack of productivity ✅
- poor performance ✅
- avoidance of responsibilities ✅
- loss of enjoyment ✅

Have I just been burnt out and living it as my norm for the past 5 years? 🤡

I eh... was once munching on nutela straight from the jar while on a call only realised arpund 10 mins into the call that my camera was on and everyone could could see me eating straight from the jar (without a spoon)

Writing some C in the middle of the night for some random project idea I thought of while eating Pizza is the most fun I've had this year. :)
Feels good.

Thank to “Weekly Rant 119” we all had to clean the place where working, eating, gaming, chilling, sex, porno watching, bugs fighting ,duck fucking, etc etc etc.

Salute to @dfox !

That awful realisation that your job could so easily be done remotely from your desk at home while wearing nothing but underpants and eating pop tarts.

My morning routine:

6.45 - alarms goes of
for (let i = 0; i < 11; i++) snooze()

7.40 - reluctantly drags myself up from my bed and puts on coffee

7.45 - make breakfast

7.47 - was breakfast

7.48 - open devRant

8.08 - realize how long I've been eating breakfast and write a short post about it

8.19 - hopefully I'll get out in time for the bus leaving by then.

8.42 - arrive 42 minutes late to work

Lesson of the day:

If you're really into a YT video on your laptop while eating noodles and your phone is on vibrate and you know you get scared very easily, keep the bowl away from it. I repeat: keep it away from it.

Sooo win has updated itself (in a short 6 hours) and I was wondering what eats my pocket pc's 4 gb ram, so i checked, and turns out system is eating 40-50% of it and its processor ever since the update... *Sigh* Awesome....

(Picture src: tumblr/just-shower-thoughts --> [in reality] r/showerthoughts)

I get pissed when somebody takes me out of my coding mindset for something minor. A deep bubble of abstract thought gets popped so that I can be told that we'll be eating dinner in an hour. I then have to start my thought processes from scratch.
This is why I can't get any work done during the daytime, and why I do all my coding at night.
This comic depicts this issue perfectly.

I used to go through my Google Now cards each morning while eating breakfast.

Google Now has been replaced by DevRant.

Fucking retards. They make us submit 3 fully fledged fucking Android apps (with ALL the generated boilerplate crap), all zipped into one fucking folder which cannot exceed 10MB.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU DUNG-EATING PREHISTORIC APE ?! ONE PROJECT ALONE IS 60 MB, HOW IN THE MOTHER-FLIPPING HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIT 3 OF THOSE INTO 10 MEASLY MEGABYTES?!
Ever heard of git you moth-eating-cactus-fucking pricks?! Time has come to learn it !!! Private repos are a thing, you cocksuckers.

May your bed be infested with bugs and your code riddled with Greek semi-colons. Fucking dimwits.

My friend at my office tell me what he did everyday

6.00 am wakeup
6.10 am code while showering (using phone)
8.00 am make a coffee
8.05 am start code
12.00 pm eating lunch
12.10 pm start code
5.00 pm go to home
5.30 pm pickup a phone and do a some socmed
6.00 pm eating
6.10 pm code in pc
11.00 pm sleep

He did that everyday. Im shocked he can code like that. Then i ask him why. He tell me that he loves code so much, everytime he found an error he find a way to solve it and he said it was fun so he cant stop code

I think my boss has brainwashed him :/

I found a vulnerability in a food delivery app api that allows me to add credit to my account. I ate my first free meal today but i feel bad about it. What should i do 😞.

1- continue hacking free credit and eating free food.

2- stop and forget i found this bug

3- report the bug in exchange for money/credit

4- report the bug for free

For my American friends...

there are more kinds of programmers :
the ones that drink coffee
the ones that drink alcohol
and there's me eating sunflower seeds

Junior dev at my workplace keeps telling me how efficient docker is.

He decided to solve his latest task with a containers in swarm mode.

As expected, things went sideways, and I had the joy of cleaning up behind him.

A couple of days later, I noticed that I was running low on disk space - odd.

Turns out docker was eating up some 60 GB with a bunch dangling images - efficient is a funny term for this.

My coffee to water ratio in a cup is starting to be 1/2. I'm worried in the future I will be eating coffee not drink it anymore 😂

Had a dream that I was attacked by Apple fan boys while eating lunch because I had a dell laptop 😨

I was working with a guy for about 1year, and I never saw him eating...I think hes a vampire

Coding resplenishes my need for sleep :D

Or hunger, but eating food doesn't waste as much time lol

A new junior developer diet: treat y'o self with a candy of choice every time you finish a project that you've been working at during your "free" time. Guaranteed fat loss. Coz' you won't be eating any. And you're lazy.

FU devRant for eating my batteryjuice.
Thank you devRant(and fellow devs) keeping me entertained.

Well, guess I'm eating my shoe it seems .-.

(Trying to get font rendering working in SDL2 and for whatever reason, loading a direct TTF file works but as soon as I load it into RWops and pass to SDL, it suits the bed)

Man how do you skinny devs keep so skinny? I'm not even eating fat things and I'm nearing to light obesity... Is there a patch that I missed? apt update says it's up to date?

Most Bad thing eating time...
From programmer jokes

Have you worked on something impressive and wanted to tell a non-programmer about it?
You start to figure out a way to say it, but then you decide 'nah they will not get it'.

But you still want to talk about it with someone so bad... Its super unsatisfying to not be able to explain this tech shit to the people you like.

If you were a pilot, you could say shit like 'i landed a plane during a storm while eating a burrito' and everyone would be like omg thats amazing.

What do I have to say? I made an auto pilot system for a plane, so that a pilot can land it during storm while eating a fucking burrito.. what's their response?

ehm okay <crickets chirping>
🖕🖕

lesson of the day:
if you enter the office toilet while chewing gum, the simultaneous smell of shit and jaw movement will lead your brain to think you're eating shit

Eating chips with chopsticks, so your keyboard won't get fatty. :D

Fuck whoever invented caramel and chocolate and particularly whoever mixed them. How am I supposed to stop eating this? It so fucking delicious.

After eating nothing but fresh food/ingredients for the past year, I ordered a carne asada burrito from Cafe Rio. I remember liking them, and it tastes just like I remember, but I'm amazed at how little flavor it has by comparison. It's maybe a third as flavorful as my salads? A quarter? ☹

Eating well really spoils you.

Am I the only one? When you pushing hard in the night, to finish some code; after you done, thinking to sleep, then your stomach reminds you - there's something called eating.

When you and your colleagues fight over code intending whether it should be a tab or ''x'' spaces.
My reply: It doesn't matter what you use!! It's like eating with either a fork or spoon, as long as you eat, dammit!!
My friend:

When the design agency changes the whole fucking UI 1 week before release because they think the usability is not good enough.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PLACENTA EATING LOBOTOMIZED ADOBE FRANKENSTEINS

Numpy and tensorflow eating my ram. I need to upgrade it. #8gigsnotenough

Thank you windows update and Lenovo for trying to update my bios and failing in the process.

Now this computer that doesn’t even show bios. Fucking bitch ass pieces of shit.

Stay the fuck away from my bios windows, you shit eating trash of an os.

... no longer on call. Am on hour 12 of a call that has a few more hours to go and have handled 3 others today. Coworker is on hour 36 of a cal with possibly 24 more to go. And 3rd is finally eating as he missed meals all day for more calls than i can count. Who the fuck decided they hate us and want us to die these deaths????

Pulled an all-nighter
Was too busy ans haven't had any time to eat anything next whole day.
35.5 hour sleep deprived, cameback home with takeouts

Let's pull the repo before i start eating.
Open the laptop and connect the charger while laying on bed.
*fell asleep and woke up 9 hours with laptop still running*

The worst part is that the problem i was trying to solve is still there.

Been tinkering with circuits all afternoon, and then i made the mistake of eating some pastry right off of my table. Pretty sure i ingested like half a roll of solder lmao.

A sign in front of startup office:
Do not feed the developers! We keep them on a soylent diet - eating real food might make them question their life choices.

The moment when you stayed up far too late setting up a new OS for your PC, stood up too late, it's now 15:09, and you're not sure if you're eating breakfast, lunch or dinner right now

So my 2020 started by eating a curb at 01:30 am while biking home drunk.
No bad injuries.

As a developer, I'm sometimes accused of pulling strings out my arse.
As a dog owner, I've literally just had to pull a string out of my dog's arse.

I really wish she'd stop eating fabric.

* Driving... Thinking about code.
* Walking... Thinking about code.
* Lying down... Thinking about code.
* Sitting down... Thinking about code.
* Eating... Thinking about code.
* Conversating... Thinking about code.
* Praying... Thinking about code.
* Partying... Thinking about code.
* Pooing... Thinking about code.
* Bathing... Thinking about code.
* Eyes closed... Thinking about code.
* Eyes open... Thinking about code.

Genie... I think you already know my wish.

I've been cooking for 4 hours straight, will be eating for a whole week.

If only freelancing worked like that...

So now that Covid is apparently "gone", management wants us to come to the office to participate in daily team building events to hype up people to commute full time...
but still gotta finish those milestone deliveries while having too many meetings and deadlines.

Murphy is watching us from above with a shit-eating grin.

When you realise that you no longer interpret s3 as a smartphone model, fork as an eating tool, eclipse as natural phenomenon... :( :|

Taking care of your skin once a week, won't give you better skin.

Just like eating a healthy meal once a week, won't make you skinny.

Changes and improvements take time, effort, but most of all consistency.

I absolutely love baking cakes and i absolutely hate eating cakes. Now hiring a professional cake-eater, hit me up.

Bit rot under scientific research: using a very high-end microscope, I was able to take a picture of bit rot in action. It's microtrolls eating the bits!

If you can, attend programming contests, code retreats, and meetups, you'll learn a lot from that, experiences like have a fun talk with mate devs about this awesome environment while drinking some beers or eating some pizza is fantastic

Fuck me and I was wondering what's eating away 3,1tb.... btw only 40gb left

Today I tried eating lunch NOT starting at a screen. It lasted all of about 5 minutes. 😞

Need to unplug.

Go is fast they said, Go is lightweight they said.

package main

import "fmt"

func main() {
var nums []int
for i := 10; i > 0; i++ {
nums = append(nums, i)
i--
}
fmt.Println(nums)
}

# htop
| PID | USER | VIRT | %CPU | %MEM
| 12048 | root | 16.9g | 101.3 | 94.2

WTF is eating my resources to hell and.... oh... oh im a dickhead!

Fuck you, wikipedia, because of you, i want to eat greek so bad rite now.

*Me starving all the week to lose weight:
Lost 3.5~4 Kg

*Me eating as always during my pause day
Won: 2 Kg

Fuck, this shit does not work, it is like Javascript.

* Doesn't want to waste time eating when trying to fix an issue that's wasted most of the day so takes lunch later .. then fixes issue in five minutes as soon as food has been consumed *

Let's just buy this domain instead of eating fancy toady!

If all devRant users worked in one big office, we'd all be eating a lot of birthday cake

GOD DAMNED DICK EATING, CODE SHITTING, COPY PASTE MONKEYS!! STOP RELEASING LIBRARIES IF YOU HAVE 0 COMMON SENSE.

WASTED 3 HOURS JUST BECAUSE YOUR PILE OF FUCKING NODE MODULES CHANGED ENVIROMENT VARIABLES, AT LEAST PREFIX YOUR DIRT CODE BEFORE SHOVELING IT INTO THE MOUTH OF OTHER DEVS AROUND THE GLOBE.

TL;DR
Fuck shitdevs.

Personal pet peeve.

I'm not a germophobe. But if your hands spend most of their time down your pants, or you've been eating food with them, or they're just generally disgusting, please wash before thinking of using my computer.

There is nothing I hate more than finding crusty fingerprints on my keyboard and mouse.

And if you're using my computer I likely know where you live. 🔪🔪

OK can we agree the WORST feeling is when you're just sitting around consciously procastinating and you're just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and you're STILL procastinating and you CAN'T STOP and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside you're screaming but outwardly you're just eating chips.

i wonder how eating bugs feels like

Duck typing

If something quacks that does not mean it's a duck. A duck has wings, can fly and is renowned for eating bread. For all you know what you have is a tape player.

We got it! Only took just over a week. Thanks!

Best pic I could get before the little monster started eating it.

!rant

Anybody else use coffee to postpone eating because you're too busy or on a role of bug free coding?

After 8 days sleeping 1 to 3 hours a night and not eating, today I slept 12h straight...
Oh man, I feel another... Even the electricity behind my eyes stopped. Me happy

I use a Mac that implements MAC using MAC and its got multiple hardware MACs along with a hardware MAC.... btw, I'm eating a Big Mac.

...

Media Access Control - Networking
Manditory Access Control - Security
Message Auth Code - Security
Mac - Apple
Multiply ACcumulate - Chip Design

Can somebody explain IoT to me like I'm a boogie eating fucking five years old kid ?

Javascript seems to be eating the world

Ow surprise surprise, ofcourse i don’t get any kind of salary increase at this fucking shit company im working at. Because nobody see’s the work i actually do and everyone is just guessing im eating out of my nose all day.
Seriously, i had to work 1.5 jobs because a colleage left but there is no credit for anything i do here. Friday im going to contact recruiters. Fk this shit!

I hate touching my keyboard when I eat... I usually put some video to watch and start eating. But every single time it goes like this:

Me: "Finally finish that piece of code, time to cook some food!"

*After cooking and back in front of my screen ready to enjoy the next episode of my favorite show*

Brain: "Wtf are you doing! You have better things to do than watching this garbage! Like implementing all 101 improvements you thought about while cooking!"

Fuck WFH. I'm so tired of kids yelling. people eating, fucking noises and people leaving their desks for hour, and sayigg I'm sorry I was speaking on mute. Fuck WFH. Everybody needs to get their asses back to the office, and actually do the damn work.

WFH only works if you have kickass passionate people who love their job with an ounce of responsibility.

!dev

Been away from here for over a year.

Tried meditation, tried working out, tried eating more #00FF00s.

I'm a super calm person and rarely rant over shit in real life but I learned that really little things can replace ranting over random shit on the internet and having people come here to read just exactly that and relate.

I think I'm back :) <3

Worst disturbance is co worker microwaving eggs for breakfast and then eating them at his desk.

One thing about microwaved eggs cause the egg smell to be intensified like 100x

One Join is fine.
Two Joins I can live with.
Three Joins and we are starting the project from scratch again.

Fuck you! What do I pay you for? Eating berries? No!

If I were cooking like I maintain my dev projects, I'd have a roast in the fridge, a frittata thats only missing the eggs, eight different pots of uncooked soup around the kitchen and the ingredients for a pudding in the cupboard. But I'd be eating pasta with a ready-made soup every day, because its finished.

I've spent the last day at work playing Paperclips 📎. I fucking hate the author of that time eating machine!

My boss just yelled at our devops guy because he caught the DO intern watching Twitch while he was eating lunch at his desk. Why even care?

I was eating my oats happily when, suddenly, Boss called because clients complained data duplication in reports, and asked why I removed DISTINCT in the query. So, I stopped eating and obliged to answer the call because I so loved my work :) <3

How is it my fault now, when the QA just told me to make the data transparent and to not display them distinctly by name?

I hate apples. I buy them at the grocery store. They taste bland, they don't have any smell and by eating them I don't get any positive emotions.

Well, at least this is the conclusion in my head every autumn after a year of eating store bought apples.

Then the end of autumn comes/winter begins and I visit my grandparents, who live in a village. I get a bag of apples (15-20 kgs) and this bag smells wonderful. Heck, the car smells wonderful for a few days after transporting the bag back home.

My grandparents give around 7-8 varieties of apple, mixed. Each and every one of them tastes amazing, even if I have to cut some spots out from a few. They don't always look perfect, but I think these are the noble ones and the store bought would be the peasants.

I know, it's kind of obvious, that the homegrown fruits are better, but it still amazes my tastebuds every year, plus I'm really grateful for having my grandparents.

I finished a bunch of coursework yesterday and turned them in so that I could have some time to work on my side projects or self study for a few days before focusing on class again.

Today was gonna be my first day to enjoy this.

I recieve an email with the second batch of coursework thats due in a week. 7 quizzes, two exams, and 7 project labs.

Yeah, fuck you, too.

Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.

soy eating developer: * change the name of his master branch to "main" *

Me: That's it, you ended racism!

What do you use YouTube/NewPipe for?

I am using it to fall asleep when nothing else helps. Boring YouTubers are good for such a reason, guys lol.
I use it to do sport, to chill, to game, to be productive, to learn, to have some noise when I am bored (e.g. eating).
Offline music while taking a shower.

So tell me... What do you use it for?

Back in the soul-eating depression abyss

On a doomed project. Nobody seems to know what anyone was suppose to have done last week, or the plan for this week.

I've warned them more times than I can count.

I could help, but I'll just sit here with my feet up, eating a snickers and watch them panic

Thx to a close friend :)

His mom is currently "bored" after she came to germany recently (getting too old to live alone)

Kartoschka, Oreschki, Pelmeni, Wareniki, Beljaschi, Bliny....

I got a ton of food and beer.

I'm in heaven. That's the best that has happened in the last months.

My mom keeps giving me stick about not eating properly..

How can you eat when your app crashes so bad that you entertain the thought of starting over again?

I'm just trying to get my boss on the phone and his secretary tells me he is in a seminar but I walk by his office and he is eating a MF DONUT

Debugged a complex bug at 10 PM, drunk and eating potato wedges, while on the phone with another drunk co worker.

Woke up next morning and had no memory of the fix.

Having the coder anxiety, can't finish code in one sitting, getting anxious, not eating because cannot eat while in the middle of something "important". Trying to finish it anyway, getting more tired, staying up too late, losing concentration on the next day and doing it all over again...

Nothing distracts me more than people eating in an otherwise quiet office. It makes me so livid that i usually leave the room for a coffee refill or bathroom break and hope they are done by the time I'm back.

I can code while holding a conversation, I barely even notice when people do phone calls or skype meetings next to me, but hearing people chew and breathe through their nose while smelling their lunch just annihilates me.

there is a window on the right side of my pc and a big ass fuckin spider web. there are some green stink bugs that piss me off a lot so whenever my code is broken and im pissed the fckk off i just look at my buddy web developer eating that fcking bug that got caught in the fking web and im not gonna do anything to help the bug go away fcck uu

Me and my Jewish friend were eating lunch and I farted. He got mad so I said "cmon man a little gas never killed anyone".

Eating caveman diet, not doing caveman hunt.

I'm going to start cutting off hands if people don't write unit tests...it's like eating your vegetables folks...

When you're happily eating dinner and your landlord starts trying to get you to build them an app. *sigh*

I work for a quite small company (4 people) and about 3 years ago, there was this guy from Bolivia who was an intern for graphics and similar stuff, nothing related to programming.

Turns out we got to be quite friends and still hang out from time to time now.

Best thing was when boss wasn't at the office for like a week and we hadn't much to work on, so we spent time smoking, eating, chatting and watching movies... very great time!

"Fauna's free plan has been adjusted from 5GB to 1GB going forward"

huh? I thought "tech was eating the world" "cloud is everything" "things are getting more efficient"

so why the hell do all these cloud providers keep DECREASING the free tier. annoying as all hell

where's all the storage and compute going? fucking crypto?

each day the 🤡🌎🎪 grows stronger

Got tangled up on some routing issue with my Rails project yesterday morning so I democratically decided I was allowed to take a break... I launched Diablo 3 and that was the rest of the day...

I just sat there dungeon crawling, eating pizza, ice cream and drinking Monster like a fucking pig... Shame on me.

So... it's break time.

I just was eating fries with ranch... dipped my fingers in the ranch as if they were holding fries...then immediately hit Ctrl + z.
Took me a few seconds to realise why it didn't work.

I just hate how my body believes that coding time and snack time are synonyms. Like ok, i might have been eating some chips or noodles while i was doin' the thinking, but hell, i cannot just empty 2 or 3 bowls of food each time i have to open and IDE.. How can you guys keep yourselves busy from eating when you fight the evil forces of bugged code?

You acting tough with juniors but you spit on your hotdog before eating it

Argh, time to drop out of the zone to go stuff calories in my face again. Just hook me up to an IV already and let me make cool shit!

Ps @dfox it'd be cool if we could take a picture to post straight from app.

The person sitting next to me in scrum is literally eating honey roasted peanuts out of a cereal bowl with a spoon

Is it okay for software engineers like us to go out to eat every day? I just don’t find the time to cook for myself. And honestly the time spent cooking would be better spent learning (judging by our hourly rate). Do you think it’s okay for devs to have such a luxurious life style (eating out is a privilege!) because our minds are so taxed on learning and creating?

Eating burritos and drinking coffee somehow works for me

My phone just randomly started installing "instant apps" by itself even though my settings are explicitly set to not auto download update anything. It's not even visible in my installed apps to remove. After a quick search it seems like Google is forcibly rolling out a new feature. If I wasn't looking at my phone I wouldn't have known. Thanks for eating my mobile data.

I was eating a dairy milk 🍫, and my computer took a byte

Having late night deployment; eating sushi and playing football in the office at night.

dark chocolate is so good. I'm addicted and keep eating so much of it every day of late

is there foods you find extremely pleasurable to eat?

Just casually opened Github tab is eating fucking 15% of my CPU. Wow, I am speechless...

Me casually eating kimchi while watching both my coworkers arguing.

Since day 1, I've been eager in learning everything dev-related in English, and as it, I've focused on thinking, writing, shitting and eating english for a basis.

Now, where I work, I say, our country native language it's Spanish, but I feel bad whenever they tell me I must write everything in Spanish (code included). Maybe I'm overreacting or something.

So, here's my question for you, devs, when you're working on a coding-related project, should it be on English or not?

Seriously, I never understood all the memes about google chrome eating ram. I am used to opening like tons of tabs and my general ram usage never exceeds 4GBs. What is the fuckery with all hatred against chrome, someone please explain!

You come to work 2 hours early to continue a project that needs to launch next Friday.

40 minutes later you're still eating breakfast and browsing DevRant.

The coding hour has already hit and the day hasn't even started.

Meetings...

But I realise that the meetings are only for eating donuts 🍩 🍩

Learning C# for internship and while eating i explicitly called the waitress and ordered different bunch of foods using a delegate.

I always dreamed to live in USA. Waking at the morning and see those huge buildings, eating pancakes while I cover myself from the cold. For a while I forgot this my old dream of travel from my Portuguese home to somewhere on Texas or California. Since I am in my last year of university, after being student worker and after 6years being graphic designer and 3 them as full stack developer, I trully believe in doing this...

Windows piece of shit mother fucker useless trash.

Why can't I just compile without the dumb ass "Antimalware Service Executable" having to check every single fucking file and eating fucking 4GB ram. God damn it. fiadsfleaf oaiehjf afpo jafj
I start compiling binutils and then the whole thing fucking crashes ad;adsfjhc odshfaj;sdl hfja;odsfh;osa dhif;aosdhfi a;osdihf;skdjnvba; dsjch;soduf;dsao fu;nodjf ;anaod

Been working with NodeJS a lot lately. Finding it really convenient and flexible. As someone who spent a lot of time using C, it's like going from eating fruit to candy bars. Seems pretty amazing just npm installing whatever you need and working with those packages... Until you dare to look at the list of ingredients.

What?! I mean what the fuck?! How it become sooo late? Why is devrant eating all my time? Fuck you devRant! I fuck you too!

So I’m like 90% certain 10% of my app should be event sourced, and the other 90% CRUD based (but event driven).

However after trying to tackle this from a variety of angles I’m 100% ready to jump off a building

So I’m taking a break and eating a fucking donut

To hot to be at home. Tought of studying outside...
Damn mosquitos were eating me alive. The fuckers.
And didn't print any cnc manual, great

Worst: Spending a week in npm, node, react hell trying to triage a ReactNative iOS/Android app that even the OG dev couldn't fix and FAILING.

This is the only code in like 20 fuckin years that beat me.

Best: Watching the fall of western democracy with a giant shit eating "I told you so" grin.

Eating. I find I always find solutions to bugs while eating!

Why is there no VueJS job requirements in my area? It is all about Angular and React. Quite sad my favorite JS Framework is not a favorite here.

Guess I'll be forced to study Angular or React for job requirements purposes only *sigh* 😩 It is like - forced eating the only available food that you don't like in order to survive. Oh well supply and demand.

I haven't seen any VueJS requirements yet in all the job posts that I browsed 😕

I was trying out flutter because why the fuck not. I made a plan for an application the downloads an Osu!-beatmap file and extracts the infos relevant for an external music player (like background, the song file, title and so on)

So I designed a basic database scheme and decided to include the files into the database. 3 hours into development it hit me...

HOW THE FUCK IS THE EXTERNAL MUSIC PLAYER SUPPOSED TO GET THE AUDIO FILES WHEN THEY ARE IN MY DATABASE!

Guess I'll just have to replace the files with absolute paths instead. 😒

Sounds of people eating or chewing. There's a phobia for that I believe, but I know people that like to chew on lollies and it really gets me into rage mode. I usually turn up the volume to prevent it from reaching my ears

Humans are prohibited from eating owls

How can I fucking plan a software AFTER I implement it??? People want to shit without eating first....

Did a presentation to the brass with data so summarized that no informed decision could conceivably come out of it.
They want it even more summarized.
Here is your messy-suit-that-cost-50-grand, version, your overpaid tool:
1) Client be dumb
2) Supplier be slow
3) Money be good
4) We be smart
5) We make money (if you stop meddling and eating my whole morning with a PowerPoint to a meeting you got an hour late to, your fiduciary sack of douchness)

So burnt out.
The worst sort of burn out is when your excited and you still wanna go but you can't seem to get your body to anymore.
Even on a forced break I seem to be thinking product.
I always thought it was so cool in movies where the coder is working there and sleeping there and eating there and chilling there.
Thanks to covid - I've first hand experienced this.
Oh and uh, I fuckin hate it.
I wanna go out.
I miss my coworking space with all the other idiots around me!
I miss eating out!
I miss going out for a beer!
Oh sweet beer how I miss the sweet breweries where I'd get fleeced for a pint!
Take my moniez! Pliz!
Just someone find a vaccine!
Ffs

Talk with boss on phone about new billing page for split test.

Create new billing page.

Create split test

Launch.

Checking everything after a few hours. Notice the boss turned off the control on the split test so everything runs to new page. Noticed two other tests that he had turned off variations on also, so no tests are actually splitting, but they're all still eating up our paid clicks.

I'm glad I wasted time setting up the test and goals only for it to not be used.

My friends are getting married and having kids and I'm having pitiful arguments over the most pathetic and useless discussions ever in my code reviews in a brain eating job with no end in sight.

Software was Eating the World 10 years ago.

Now it's JavaScript.

Me and my best friend were heavy drinking last night, without eating something.
Now, my stomach hurts like hell.
Guess I won't do anything today.

In russian, one space can turn “C major” into “everyone is eating at my house uncontrollably”

How much RAM Chrome/Firefox is eating in your sistem right now?
Mine is at 5Gb...

Some days you’re excelling and thriving. But some days you take pleasure in eating shit, because you have no other choice.

Today was a rough day. Tearing up while eating some Chinese food questioning why I’m doing this.

Gonna have 8 hours of exam in C without eating or have a little break. I love this but I'm gonna be so tired

I may have been drinking too much coffee. I really like (need?) it.

Do you know the feeling after say eating the same meal a free evenings in a row makes you dislike that for a while?

I think that's happening to me now for coffee :(

What the FACK am I gonna do now? Drink tea? 😦

I'm so tired of eating spaghetti everyday, sometimes i wish i could just solo the projects, iI would rather have a hard time writing my code rather than fixing others.

Seeing the Winnie Pooh eating InfoSec propaganda meme this morning on devRant saved my day. I'm still laughing 8 hours later 😂

I start playing the documentary on AlphaGo while my bro was eating... He walked away after finishing...

He's a CS senior specializing in ML.... I thought he'd be more interested....

Lately i feel like i lost my mind

I became insane

Insanity is eating me alive from within

For a longer period of time

As you can fucking tell from my previous posts

Youtube recommend me a video

A song

It is called Taw & Blvkstn - Minds Gone

The lyrics go as

"My minds gone
No lights on
Nobodys home
I'm all alone"....

Are you fucking kidding me

Fixing computers and smartphones or may be joining some food eating competition!

Professor: Where is your coding assignment? Didn't you complete it?

Student: My dog ate my coding assignment.

Professor: How can a dog eat a coding assignment?

Student: My dog started off eating a couple of "bits" of my assignment and didn't realize how did a few "bits" turn into many "bytes".😮

When I suddenly realize that I’m already not hungry while I’m eating, I just stop eating no matter if I finished the dish or not.

Have you ever eaten like a pig and then regretted it because you’re full to the point when you can barely breathe? Well, I never felt like that since I decided not to overeat.

Smartest decision I’ve ever made.

You ever just get constantly shit on by life, work, and everything for weeks and then, one day, it finally just turns around for the better. After that, you finally feel normal again. Probably all the Christmas cookies I’ve been eating… In the words of forest gump, “I’m so happy I could bust!”

Women will live alone and buy a dining table, if I live alone I’m absolutely fine with sitting in the couch and eating for the rest of my life

I am working more effectively nowadays from home rather than from office.
At office, I end up spending most time in eating, playing table tennis and meetings.
The only thing I am missing at my house is my 2 big 27" 4k office monitors.

A bit of a shocker to see Microsoft putting an add that isn't annoying or eating up half the screen or damaging my eyes, let's hope it stays like this

what am i going to do today? whatever the fuck the SYSTEM throws at me... or what my manager wants me to waste time on... ah , programmer life when one has a conundrum of doing what you like to do but not end up doing that because there are other mountains to climb with squirrels eating your nuts...

My buddy is on his way to Singapore in an A380. Drinking fancy whiskey and eating little pickled fishes.

my slow laptop.. when I run android studio, Firefox and an emulator together.

why everything is so RAM eating?

Not entirely sure if it counts, but Postman.

Used to be a simple, yet efficient tool for integration testing. And nothing more. Now it's a bloated, convoluted resource eating piece of bling-bling that tries to do a shitload of stuff, but only does them in a mediocre way.

Meh, while I was typing this I realized what a comfortable life I lead if I complain about something like this. Oh, the perks of being a middle class white man working in the tech sector...

That moment you take a crap after eating lunch and equate your digestive system as a circular buffer...

36 hours. In the first 2 Hackathons I ever participated. This includes the time I spent on eating free food, tea , dinner, mid-night snacks, tea, tea, morning snacks, lunch, evening snacks, tea, tea, dinner ........And Quizzes that I lost

To make a long story short, I basically ate my code to make it shorter.

There's been quite a commotion about Microsoft joining the Linux Foundation, and if you didn't think things could get any stranger, well, it is. Windows 10 Creators Edition will merge Windows 10 and Ubuntu 16.04. That's what you get for eating mushrooms.

terraform plan: Everything is great! The sun is shining, the birds are singing. Go ahead.

terraform apply: Everything is meaningless. I’m staying in bed and eating Doritos. Nothing works. Nothing makes sense.

The whole company (including the rest of the team) is an uproar because our biggest client is going live and I'm sitting eating out of my nose because I've done all my shit on time...

FUCK THIS SHIT. A fucking maid is paid like idk, $30/hr nowadays. Why the fuck are we eating so much shit for.

I'm moving to some remote fucking place and I'll grow my food instead of constantly begging for raises because a fucking tomato costs $737284883827362294939

MAY CLIMATE CHANGE AND WW3 KILL Y'ALL MFS