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Search - "not on call"
-
Guy called in:
Guy: hello, i can't seem to login to the sql database, could you check if the ip whitelist went right? It's on the *names server* server.
Me: *checks if guy is calling from an authorized number* - nope.
Me: I'm sorry but you're not calling from an authorized number so I can't check that for you!
Guy: no you don't understand. I don't want any of this not-authorized bullshit, I just want a solution for this right now.
Me: and I just want you to call from an authorized number.
Yeah, I actually said that. He wasn't very happy 😅
I'm still employed by the way 🤣12 -
Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:
Me: "Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"6 -
Manager: “We need you to stay in the room and not go outside to make personal calls on your mobile.”
Me: “uhmm okaaaay...”
*I get a call* “Yeah, I called about making a doctor appointment....my symptoms? Ummmm...*lowers voice to say it but everyone still hears...totally embarrassing*
Same manager, later, at performance review: “We found it highly inappropriate for you to be talking about your personal medical issues on the phone in front of everyone in the office.”15 -
> Woke up at 03:30 because I am on call and a server went down
> Fixed shit and went to bed
> could not sleep,
> fuck it, drive to work.
> arrive at the office at 04:30
> I can scream stupid shit and noone would hear
> *grin*5 -
Receives email from warranty guy in work.
Warranty: "Hi, see attached scan in PDF form.
I normally fill the boxes in manually, scan as pdf to myself and then email it on to the higher ups, but they now say they need it in excel form from now on! Can you convert it for me?"
Me: "It looks like your scan's quality isn't good enough for a convert to excel.
Where do you get the original form?
Is it from a website?"
Warranty: "Hang on and ill send you an email with the file and give you a call"
*receives email and a phone call"
Warranty:
"There you go. Theres an excel sheet in that email. what do i do?"
Me: "So.... just so I understand the question... you just fill in this excel sheet, scan as pdf and send it on... but they want it sent as an excel form and not a pdf?"
"Yes."
"So.... Could you not just fill in the excel sheet and email it to them?"
"What do you mean?"
"....fill in the excel sheet as normal, and go to file, share and email... send the original one on."
"And what would that do?"
"...you... you'd be sending the form as an excel sheet, as requested??"
Warranty: *silence for 10 seconds* Oh, i see now. I get you! You're a genius! Well done for figuring it out. Thanks a million!!"
O.O9 -
Omfg this fucking guy!!!!
Context:
We are going through a major refactor of some of our backend components. I was tasked with cleaning up our ML code while another guy was tasked with cleaning up the general CRUD side of the backend, let's call him DA for "dumb ass".
** At 11pm
DA: I am getting a strange error from your backend. Look:
"Invalid call: method=PUT expected=[POST]"
Me: you need to send a post request not a put request
DM: no, it's not that. I am sending the right thing
Me: ... Let me see...
* 15min ish of testing *
No, it works fine on my version, 1.1.0 what's your version?
DM: I'm on 1.1.0.
Me: send me code?
DM: *send
"request.put(..."
Me: you are sending a PUT... It's literally in the screenshot. Send a Post
DM: I am
Me: no, send a Post
DM: I don't understand, I am sending the request
Me: it's a post not a put
DM: but...
Me: it's a post not a put
Me: good night!!!!!!12 -
Interviewer: "Show me a cool side-project you have been working on!"
Me: "No! I do not have a cool side-project to show you! I work to pay the bills, and do other things in my spare time! Like go fishing, or play video games. Why the fuck are you assuming that I spend my weekends coding for fun!? Do you call random people asking them questions every Saturday and Sunday just for the LOLs of it?"36 -
Client(On Call): I emailed some query a day before. I got a response too. But, i am not able to find answer of my specific query.
Me: Let me check that for you. Yes, it is there. See the mail carefully.
Client: No. It's not there.
Me: Can you read the whole mail for me?
Client: Sure. *Started Reading* Oh yes. Yes. it is here. *Hangs up the Phone.*
Me: Sigh.5 -
*call from boss on the weekend*
Boss: hey, we have an important demo the next week, can you make that xyz changes (not big deal)
Me: okay, gimme 15 minutes
~30 minutes later~
Boss:still waiting tho
Me: *sending this:6 -
>Be me arriving at work early for my daily morning relaxation as I surf reddit etc in an hour of euphoria without having to deal with employees
>Get a phone call JUST 5 MINUTES AFTER
> User was complaining that we ran an update which totally wrecked his machine as it didn't want to turn on..
>Ask him to check if the switch on
>Says that he can't see in the dark
>Ask him to turn on the lights
>He says he cannot because the whole power to the building is currently out in a blackout
THIS CALL TOOK 30 MINUTES OF MY BELOVED RELAXATION JUST TO END UP IN HIM NOT BEING ABLE TO COMPREHEND THAT A COMPUTER CANNOT RUN WITHOUT POWER
>rant over UGHHHH10 -
When so called developers "fixes" things by setting 777 on directories...
Please do not call yourself a dev26 -
One of our clients deploy their own server app. So this happened after a prod deployment. (4am)
*Cellphone rings while sleeping*
Client : we need you on the conference call now. URGENT!
*Gets on conference call*
*Client explain the problem*
*Explaining to the client that the problem is in their side (https connection not working, either network or certificate problem)*
*Client doesn't believe it and pushes me for a fix that I have no control on*
*4 hours later in a heated conversation*
Client : ok problem is on our side. We used our SSL certificate from staging with production and thought it would work.
Me :5 -
PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.
SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.8 -
As I'm a privacy conscious person and people often call me paranoid, i decided to have a look at the definition of paranoia.
Paranoia appearantly consists of:
- having intense fearful/anxious feelings.
- delusional thinking, thinking that things which aren't true are true.
These are the most common symptoms I could find on every health website.
The interesting part is that neither of those things apply to me... (not delusional either, the things I try to protect myself from are quite real)
................🤔30 -
Dad : Stop playing games so much
Me : I'm working on a project dad, not playing games
Dad : Then what do you call that *points to my 2nd screen on the side*
Me : That's the project, i'm making that game
Dad : Sure you are
Me : *changes bunch of stuff* see...
Dad : Ok i believe you *leaves the room*5 -
Finally done with being on call/standby so thought I'd order myself a pizza calzone 😍
I'm not saying that this thing is small but it's smaller than my hands.
I don't have very big hands 😭9 -
You know your week starts great, when you receive a call, that the whole shop database of a company is not working anymore.
Turns out MS Fucking SQL decided to drop all tables, just because the harddisk was full.
A SERIOUS FUCK YOU TO MICROSCHROTT!
It's not a lot of fun, when 15 people have to wait for you about 1 hour, until it is restored.
Why does this have to happen on a monday?10 -
On a french TV show:
Animator: So Jean-Pierre what do you do in life?
Jean-Pierre: well, I'm a computer ingineer
A: Oh, so you're the guy we call when the printer is fucked?
JP: Absolutely not, I'm the one who make programs and softwares that don't work, so they call us again
Literally me 😂1 -
"could you put me through to a colleague who has the ability to have an actual intellectual conversation?"
-
Somehow I finished the call but God damn it took some energy and self control not to completely lose my shit. His tone was also very denigrating (he just didn't agree on something which was his fucking problem)
Fuck him.6 -
HR: Hi we got your application. We'd like to schedule a call. Can you fill this out to pick a time?
Me: Sure, sorry first I'd like to ask a question. You are based on the other side of the country and i'm not able to relocate. Are you open to remote workers? Your job spec didn't mention either way.
HR: GREAT question! At this moment no we are not. We need people here on site. If you'd like, we can have a call to discuss if you fill out the form.
Me: ..... take time out of my day so you can tell me "No" again? ..... i'm alright thanks13 -
1. Submit my resume, get an email asking to schedule an interview
2. Schedule the interview
3. One day before the scheduled time, I get an email saying that the interview is being rescheduled to another time two days later (no explanation for why they did this)
4. I clear out my schedule and wait for the interview call (it’s suppose to be at 2:30, but I wait like 15 minutes early because I don’t want to miss it)
5. I don’t get a call
6. At 3:00, I call the company and ask whats going on. They apologize and say my interviewer will call me back as soon as he gets back from lunch.
7. He doesn’t call.
8. At 4:00 I call them back. Apparently the guy who was suppose to interview me went home. I ask them wtf they are doing and if this is how they treat their employees. They said they would reschedule the interview and call me back once they did.
9. No one calls.
10. I wait a week, call them back, and am told that the funding for my position didn’t come through (what does that mean? You’re not hiring programmers to design the software for your billion dollar war machines anymore? Seriously?).
I’ve had it with this company. I don’t know if it was just this incompetent recruiting group or if this is a company full of scumbags, but I mean, really?1 -
I attended a webcall with the cat on my shoulder, some manager complained it was not professional.
Now, I do not know who that was so I'll have to just shoot in the crowd and take innocent victims, but from now I'll attend every single call with as many cats on screen as possible. Possible outcomes, and both are fine by me, either they cut down the amount of unnecessary calls -as to limit the amount of catness on their screen- or learn to grow the fuck up because unlike some retard I get paid for working, not for busting the balls to the people that actually work.10 -
Mgmt: We will need you to work on Saturday
Me: I'm afraid I can't, I have plans that cannot be rescheduled.
Mgmt: Then please call your coleague out of vacation. Treat this as super urgent.
Me: I do not feel comfortable calling him out as, as you know, he is on leave (family emergencies) and it is a weekend. I do not think it would be ethical to do so either.
Mgmt: *crickets chirping in my mailbox*
Me: *Updating my LinkedIn*6 -
I get a call: "Hey the site is down. Fix it!"
Worked on my workstation, not on my phone => DNS issue.
Local cache: "All OK"
ISP's DNS: "No record"
Google DNS: "Server error"
MXToolbox: "All OK"
CloudFlare DNS: "Domain? What domain?"
After a day of fucking around with configs and wanting to strangle the customer support guy, I just started pressing buttons, until suddenly, it worked. Turns out I'd accidentally enabled DNSSEC on a domain, that wasn't configured for it.
Lesson learned: There is no official DNS error code for "DNSSEC failed somewhere upstream". If you're lucky, you might get something useful out of the authoritative server, but apparently not on Mondays.8 -
1. You don't code to add a feature or whatever. You do it to solve Users' problems. It's a User-centric system.
2. You read more code than you write. So help yourself and write code intended to be read.
3. If people don't know you did something, you did nothing!
4. Never answer a call at 3 am if you're not paid to be on night call-duty. You'll become the guy who answers at 3 am.
5. Remember the big difference between you and me is that I failed to do stuff more times than you have tried to do.
6. When you start shaving the yak, stop!10 -
So today I got a call that an end user decided to try to be a developer. He built and ran a bulk edit script on his company's server.....
Without a scaled test....
As root....
From root....
Without backups....
How's this my problem again?
Oh right, it's not (yet)!5 -
So where to start... Let me preface this by saying I am a Software Architect for C# and do 99% dotnet development.
I just received a phone call from our Director of Development asking me to look at adding a feature for SSO with our companies main development project, which is written in PHP. I hope I made the correct changes but since I am not a PHP dev... I am not 100% confident in my code.
Now I am writing this as we are making the deployment Friday, December 29, 2017 at 5:00 pm. I should add that I am going on vacation for the next week.
So let me summarize... I am not a PHP developer, the non-PHP developer is making PHP changes on a Friday Night, and before a long weekend and before going on vacation.
I would like to point out that I said I was not 100% comfortable with this... but well this is what they wanted. I am not even sure what really to say about this though.6 -
"We have another major incident spinning up. QueenMorgana, are you free?" NO, I'M FINISHING UP THE NOTES FROM MY LAST TWO CALLS THAT JUST ENDED, WHY DON'T YOU CALL IN, LAZY FUCKWAD.
Why is it so damn difficult for my boss to cover a call when we're all busy DOING ALL THE LITTLE POINTLESS SHIT HE GIVES UP. He had me follow up from my coworker's call yesterday, not seeing the logic in, IF IT WERE STILL A FUCKING ISSUE, THEY WOULD HAVE CALLED US BACK THIS MORNING.
So now, I have to sit on the line AGAIN and take notes for shit that's not even a major issue BECAUSE IT'S BEEN DOWN FOR A WEEK. IF IT'S DOWN THAT LONG AND YOU DON'T SUBMIT A TICKET TO ME OR CALL OUR MAJOR INCIDENT LINE, I DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH TO RESPOND LIKE IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
Also, fucking lazy asswipe of a "teammate" bitching about being on a call for over 8 hours, while the rest of us are on back to back calls. He's never been on a long call and has been here a year longer than I have. I've been on a 14 hour and a 16 hour, and my other teammate has handled a 26 hour call. 8 HOURS IS FUCKING NOTHING AND YOU WORK FROM HOME SO DON'T EVEN HAVE TO WEAR PANTS.
**spilled 3 cups of coffee this morning, and have an expensive maintenance on my car today, likely to explode on just about everyone**24 -
So yesterday one of the "senior" python developers woke me up at 1 am (we work in different time zones, and he knows how many hours I'm ahead) asking why isn't his code working. The error message was:
[ERROR] Runtime.ImportModuleError: Unable to import module 'app': xxx is not installed, run `pip install xxx` Traceback (most recent call last)
I am at lose of words and patience. Not only idiots who can't google simple stuff are seniors, additionaly we went from "DevOps is a culture" straight to "hey I'm developer in my silo, if it doesn't work on my machine it's DevOps problem, plz fix".12 -
Overheard a phone call between the Senior Network Engineer and a contracted Printer-company at 9am this morning. Photocopier was giving a 'functional error' message on-screen and not printing;
N.E:
I logged this call last
Thursday afternoon. Thats 1.5 days of the photocopier not working on our busiest site! Where's the engineer??
.... yes, that's the error message.
Yes, i can log into it, you should have the IP address from the call.
Yes, it's obviously pinging too.
Yes.... we've power-cycled the printer multiple times...
yes, tried that too...
yes, I've unplugged the network cable as well... left it for 15 minutes.
... sorry. What?
What did you say?
Are you f***ing kidding me?
Would you also like me to rub the side of the f***ing machine, and say a prayer while I'm at it??
*takes a deep breath*
Fine, I'll do that but when it doesn't work, i want someone out on the site before lunchtime today!
*slams phone down angrily*
N.E to me as he stomps out of the office;
He wants me to get the user to unplug the network cable and do a power cycle. How the f**k is that going to help? Idiots! Don't know why we have a contract with them, i could do a better job!!!
*comes back into office 5 minutes later*
Me: did it fix it?
NE: yeah. Damn.
*leaves room again to make apologetic phonecall*2 -
My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.
The very first call i attended, went like:
Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?
*Listening his problem*
Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".
Client : where can i find "Right Click"?2 -
Girl: hello this is amazon support center, hope you're feeling great today, how are you?
Me: im good...
Girl: glad to hear that, how may i help you?
Me: a few moments ago i was on... sigh, actually im not good im extremely sad right now because i was scammed on my amazon account for $250, im calling to ask if that product can be charged back.
*literally 30-60 seconds of silence*
Me: .....hello??
Girl: ok sir ill give u another line to call please dont hang up ok? stay with me
Me: maam im not doing suici
Girl: +1-532...
Me: ...2 -
> me on call
> had to much wine
> suddenly, phone starts making sound
> holy shit, I am on call and I am not supposed to drink
> Calls taxi because shit is looking bad at work. Everything look down according to the sms I get, I had to pay the taxi from my own pocket.
> 40 min later, arrive at work. Walk into the serverroom.
> Go to the the server that is monitoring everything.
> Check networkcable, it is loose. Push it a little.
> Goddamnit, that was it.
> Realize I never doublechecked if stuff really was down from home....5 -
Not an office prank, but still makes me laugh..
When my oldest daughter was about 8 months, she loved slapping the keyboard on my wife's laptop. More times than I can count with my hands I received a phone call from her asking how to rotate the screen back from upside-down.
Pwned by a baby3 -
On call: part 2... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO ASK US TO STOP RESTORING *YOUR* SERVICES SO *YOUR* CUSTOMER HAS ACCESS TO *YOUR* STUFF BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SLEEP. If you call me because shits down, I'm going to fucking fix it. Idgaff if you're tired because it's been an 8 hour day, I've been working for 15 hours and I am contractually obligated to get this shit up asap and you needing your fucking beauty sleep is not a damn good reason to fuck up my contact...
(They got my boss' boss' boss' boss' boss' boss on the line who told them that but nicer -its why she gets paid more- and they still insisted. But at least they owe US more money to cover some *legal contractual mumbled jargon* it makes it better, and it's documented so they can't turn it around on us)
Will someone please send coffee? I have 2 more days of this.7 -
Sleep time. If anyone else breaks their shit tonight, I'm going to be pissed. 2.5 more hours until my wonderful coworker on the other side of the country takes calls. I can survive this...1
-
Booking a hotel on booking.com
**only 3 rooms avaliable at this discounted price BOOK NOW**
**12 rooms booked just in the last 24 hours BOOK NOW**
*** HTML AND CSS FLASHING WEBSITE PANIC**
I call the hotel directly "sorry sir, we're closed for the season and currently renovating, will not be open till June"
I need a drink.4 -
Ok so the ex boyfriend (let's call him Joe) of a friend of mine is a dumbass
He wanted to hack her phone, or whatever, so hired someone on telegram to do it. He asked her phone number and 200€.
After actually giving him the money this guy sent a ransom asking for 2k to not turn Joe in.
Joe learned a lesson.4 -
I.
FUCKING.
*HATE*.
THIS.
KIND.
OF.
PEOPLE!!
I KNOW that you don't understand what you're doing or saying, THAT'S WHY I JUST TOLD YOU A VERY SHORT, SIMPLE, AND CLEAR SENTENCE TO SAY WORD-FOR-WORD TO THE OTHER GUY WHO, IF HE'S AT LEAST HALF-COMPETENT SHOULD IMMEDIATELY UNDERSTAND AND RESPOND WITH *FOUR* *WORD* *ANSWER* and instead of that you blabber on for 5 minutes how you don't know what to say to him and how to explain what we need (FUCKIN ADMIN LOGIN YOU BOTH WINEFLY-BRAINED MORONS!), and he blabbers for 5 minutes back something something bullshit someone else and then REMOTES INTO THE COMPUTER, AND DOES A SYSTEM REINSTALL OR REMOVES DUDE'S USER ACCOUNT OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT BECAUSE MY SKYPE CALL WITH THE DUDE DROPS AND NEXT TIME DUDE IS CALLING ME HE'S CONFUSED ABOUT SYSTEM SETUP SCREENS!!!!!!
WHAT!!!!
THE!!!!!
SHIIIIIITTT!!!!
told him sorry but call the fucker who fucked it up for you, i'm not wasting two hours of my time just because some school "IT admin" thinks the best solution for user not knowing his admin login is to remotely trigger a reinstall or someshit on the machine.5 -
Swagger does not send request body for GET calls.! WHAT THE FUCK..! And the argument supporting is get calls should not have any request payloads and rather should have response payloads since its a "get" call. Are you serious?? What if there are parameters to be passed which cannot be accomodated in the params or the header. Even though people are kind of literally abusing on their issues page still they adamantly refuse to add support for this.
Swagger you had high standards in my book. You just fell so deep down there is no coming back.3 -
I don't understand this. How is that Facebook is one of the biggest company in the world and have the worst fucking mobile apps ever created. I just use messenger to talk with my mom and it's utter rubbish.
When a call arrives, there's no way to silence that call apart from setting the phone to mute. All the other apps shut up when you either click power button or volume button. But this fucking messenger piece of Satan's anus won't respond to any fucking button when I have a call.
Not only that, once you have received the call, there's no way you can rotate the app without ending the call, turning on auto rotate and call again. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? how the fuck is it that you're so fucking big but you don't have this simple features in your fucking app?
And yeah, most of the time, when I receive a call in mobile, it doesn't appear on the desktop website. If it does and I receive the call from there, the mobile app still keeps shouting. AND GUESS WHAT, at that point, if I reject the call from the mobile, it will end the call that I accepted from the desktop. HAHA, WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE.
Facebook, please stop being a piece of shite. Put your goddamn money to good use. If you can't make a good app, maybe outsource it to other companies. They will do a better job than you.21 -
Dear Managers,
This is not efficient:
Boss: * calls *
Me: * answers *
B: there's a bug in feature ABC! The form doesn't work!
M: ABC uses a lot of forms. Is it Form A, B, or C?
B: Umm... let's just go on a Zoom call!
* 5 minutes trying to set up a Zoom call *
* 3 more minutes trying to find the form *
B: This form in here.
M: It works fine for me. What data are you inputting?
B: * takes 5 minutes trying to reproduce the bug * (in the meantime, the call is basically an awkward silence)
You spent 5 minutes wasting both of our times trying to set up a Zoom meeting, and another 8 wasting MY tine trying to find the bug.
This is efficient:
B: There is a bug in form C. If I try to upload this data, it malfunctions.
M: Thank you. I'll look into it.
You saved me 8 minutes of staring at a screen and saved us both another 5 minutes of setting up a meeting.6 -
I got my very first dev job! After first making it to an interview where I didn't think I did all too well, I got a boost when on the 22nd December they called me asking for a referral. I gave them one but the person could not be contacted before the 23rd - close to xmas.
After an agonizing wait over the xmas period I finally got the call today. One hell of a way to start the new year!
I got a summer job (full time student) doing actual coding! I am so pumped!!!9 -
*INCOMING CALL FROM MY NETWORK PROVIDER*
HI,
I'm calling from *my network provider* and I wanted to check if you would like to port to our network.
This happened 3 times in a day already. And now 4th time.
Me : Look man, I'm already on the same network and I don't need to port.
Guy : You should have told this to me in the beginning. You wasted my time in not doing that.
THIS CUM DRINKING PIECE OF SHIT PUNKASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER COULDN'T DO A SIMPLE SEARCH ON HIS COMPUTER BEFORE GIVING ME A CALL AND THEN TELLS ME I WASTED HIS TIME.5 -
A couple of goodies here:
1 - The guy that said 'I prefer to work remote so noone can bother me. I will never answer my phone if you try to call me, and emails will only be read the second I arrive at work and never again. Do not disturb me at all. I decided not to bother him again with another interview request.
2- I personally interviewed at a gaming company in Dundee, Scotland and they wanted me to create a JS application, on video call to them, on Google Docs, and that they had set aside 3 hours for this whilst they watched me and ate lunch. I apologised, said that was the most absurd thing I've ever heard of, and cancelled the interview and hung up without saying bye.
How the fuck can any sort of developer think that's okay to try to make people do?
Well I've been at a new company for the last 6 months now, and I've just discovered that job is still being advertised.4 -
100% focused, balls-deep in the zone, not sure I could have recalled my own name if you'd asked me...
Suddenly out of nowhere, someone's asking me about a job I worked on over a week ago. I'm mostly answering in just a few syllables, struggling to surface from 20 layers of Call Stack.
This goes on for a full 5 minutes before they say, "sorry were you busy?"
No, I was just about to beat Solitaire.
Of course I was fucking busy jesus fucking christ, did you not see all that code and shit on my fucking screen when you suddenly and urgently had to disturb me?10 -
About a year ago I switched my job.
At the start everything seemed like magic. I was the It director, I've finally was able to call the shots on technologies, on new software architecture.
First step was to check the current state of the company.
"qqqq" as each pc password? Ok
No firewall from outside? Lovely
Servers running on Windows Server 2008? Spectacular
People leaving pc on after work and left the machine unlocked just not to type the password? Hell yeah
The IT dude playing games instead of working? But ofcourse
Plaintext passwords publically accessible eshop? Naturally.
The list goes on and on.
After all this time, I'm working to fix every hole like that like crazy and because it doesn't show results, I'm soon to lose my job. Well better luck next time as an intern I guess :')19 -
Me: "Team, we need to make a call. We have 2 options to deal with issue X: we either apply the mechanism A, sort the issue out right away, but risk creating another issue in the long run, or we take another path and try and change the process revolving around X to make it less painful if any."
Colleague: *calls me on Slack*
Me: "You, tsup?"
Colleague: "You said you wanted a call"
Me: *that's not the call I had in mind......*4 -
14 hours in. With no end in sight. Who the fuck does circuit upgrades in a damn data center without ensuring there was a functional redundant powder supply?! I want to slap all these fuckers.10
-
! Need reviews/feedback
About design.
I am working on an app which tells your family if you are working right now or not. So in case they want to call you.21 -
Me: The phone rings but when I pick up there's nothing there.
Indian call center: Okay sir can you tell me if the landline is plugged into the modem
Me: It's ringing. Yes, it's plugged in.
Indian call center: Okay we'll reset the modem.
Me: I already did that. Twice. Just to be able to speak to you because the robot made me.
Indian call center: Okay so we'll reset your modem again.
*resets*
Indian call center: Do you get a dial tone now?
Me: Yes. I have this entire time. No one can call me.
Indian call center: Sir that is not possible.
Me: Call it and see for yourself.
Indian call center: *calls, phone hangs up for them the second I answer*
Why did you hang up on me, sir?
Me: *internal screaming*3 -
Client : hey why does your app minimize once I receive a call? Fix this ASAP! Also why does it show *that*? I have not turned anything on!
Me : Sorry, not possible (explains), you might want to contact Google (for the lolz). Also, the feature is shown by default, you can turn it off via Menu - Settings - Navigation - xxx.
Client : Can you make the incoming call popup smaller when using your app?
Me : Unfortunately no, that's not something I can do. Contact LG.
Client : I have been to Menu - Settings - Map - XXX and the feature is still shown, why does your software not work? Also *this and that* is not shown anymore!
Me : You turned off the wrong thing... *jumps out of the window* *contemplates life* *cries* *dies* -
I saw an article about the best open source text editors today. I was expecting to see atom, vs code etc. Well no, the author says "sublime text. It's not exactly open source or even freeware software, but there are lots of open source plugins for it."
Well why in world would you title the article best open source editors?? Why not call it what it is: "my lovefest for sublime text and some plugins." You could post it on your stupid blog with 1 reader per month where I would never find it and waste my time on it.9 -
In my CS class I turned in some assignments recently. Two of them were extremely similar: one was to test if a number was even or odd, the other to test if the length of a string was even or odd. I completed the first one and then started to work on the second one and decide to just call the isEven method from the previous lab so I can follow DRY (Dont repeat yourself) and not have to write the same code again. I turned it in and she took off points for it. -.-13
-
Tomorrow Halloween is being celebrated in many nations as you might know. So we do in germany. Given that in Germany tomorrow is a national Holiday, the company skipped work today, with me being on call.
My On-Call time almost was over so I got ready to party (getting into my costume), not expecting any further calls.
I finished dressing up, still had some time, so I dug into coding a bit, as a costumer called. A customer from china. As I got told later on China does not celebrate Halloween in October and they do in another way.
So I set there, accepting the call, with my Camera set to autostart (Company policy).
Camera. On.
In. Costume.
As a monk.
With a bleach white face.
I was greeted by a man starring me "into the eyes". Took a good 1-3 secs til we bursted out in laugher. One of the funniest calls I had so far 😂 (and a short one, thanks China-Man)2 -
Just got a call about a site I made fo someone being down. It's 3am on a Monday morning. I have school in 6 hours. My client knows this. Go fuck yourself I'm not getting out of bed at 3 in the morning.
Note: we live in the same time zone.5 -
I’m on video calls very often, but never really bothered if I’m wearing a shirt or tee. Even when the call is with people like CEOs or bosses.
This time though, the friend specifically asked to be in a good shirt, be professional and shit. Till this point all I knew was the friend started a very amazing business of sort and would like me to join too. And the person I’ll be meeting is very busy and impossible to get an appointment.
The buildup is so much for this call that I’m wondering it’s either going to be CIA or scam. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t CIA.
A few minutes into the call, I get a feeling it’s a scam. A few more minutes and I was sure it’s a pyramid scheme.
Now, I can’t call it out because the friend is really into it, almost blindly believes this scheme, and isn’t ready to hear any counter-arguments. So I thought, let’s just get over with this call.
The call went on for 3 hours. 3 WHOLE HOURS. I had to be attentive, professional, and not laugh on their face for 3 hours. On top of that, I was feeling hungry AF.
Mr. impossible-to-get-appointment was explaining Robert Kiyosaki’s financial theories - in a completely incorrect manner and interpretation. I tried correcting a couple of times, because I’ve read his books and theories in detail - but this person just went on and on and on for 3 fucking hours.6 -
Dear Colleague who ended a call I overheard today with the sentence "I'm off next week, if there is anything - anything! -, call me on my mobile phone!". Fuck you. If you value your work more than your family, that's not only your problem. You're fucking my clients expectations, too. I don't think you're a hero. You're a moron.4
-
> Me on call
> Notice that our Echangeserver is not working, strange that I did not get any alarm?
> Start working on it, the services are slow as fuck. They dont start
> Nvm reboot
>10 minutes later the same problem, start to dig deeper.
>Everything goes slow because I am not a Windows guys
>The big boss calls, clock is 7 AM (our office opens as 8AM)
> She is angry that I am not at the office, because the mail does not work.
> I am working remotely from home, 30 min drive to work
> Told her that I have a 30 min drive and I was supposed to be home to take care of wife that was sick
> She is annoyed, pissed.
> She demands that I need to be at the office to solve the problem
omg,,, I don't work better if I am in the office.
Also, it turns out that a colleague has turned of the alarms from Nagios/OP5 for the exchange environment because is once spammed his phone.9 -
You can't keep wasting your time on people who do not know what the fuck they want. You could be way more time efficient with serious clients.
*After I have finally deployed the requested features*
Client: Why did it take you two weeks in the end? You said it would take you a couple days.
Me: Because you told me to use my imagination on half of the tasks and you kept wanting me to change what I had created, thus unnecessarily doubling the time it should have taken. Besides that probably the unclear communication and the fact that you rarely called me back after you told me to call you.
Client: So if I tell you, exactly, how I want it next time you'll be able to do it in a couple days?
Me: I'm not sure, that depends on what you want. Tell me, exactly, what you want.
Client: Oh it's not much, I'll let you do your thing for the most.
Me: I can't handle another request, sorry. *Ends call*4 -
It's about a guy that knows better.
I was working as a subcontractor on a bigger system. We (subs) were not allowed to deploy code, we had to wait for contractor to deploy.
One day I got an email that my code is bugged and that my feature is not working on production. I checked it on test env, everything was fine. Then I checked if the code I wrote was deployed. It was not.
I send an email explaining that if they deployed my code it would be working. Then I got a response. There was a bug in my code.
Another email. I asked how would they know? Do they have a test on their environment that failed?
No. There is one guy that READ my code and he said it should not work, so he will not deploy it. He was not a programmer, he was a business consultant responsible for the documentation.
His issue was that I used a function that was not in a class. So if the function is not declared it's obvious it will not work. I had to explain to him in another email, that you can use object of another class inside your class and then call a function, that is not in your class. It was the last time this guy blocked my deploy.
TL;DR, I had to explain a non-dev how object composition works in order to have my code deployed. Took four emails.4 -
Not on call. 2 hours of sleep, get a call. Ask if primary on call got called... all my coworkers are fixing shit. Why is everything down? I'm tired and need my sleep.2
-
I was part of a on-call rotation. We had ~800 microsites with decent traffic on this one box, because that's a good idea...
One day the box was experiencing kernel panics and causing core dumps. After exhausting every possiblity I decided it was time to restart the box:
sudo shutdown now
Missed the -r and the box was not accessible remotely. Had to wait for someone at the data center to terminal in.
Downtime was ~2 hours.
This was caused by a crontab that automatically ran apt-get update & apt-get upgrade... Also made by me... None of this should have worked or allowed to be done! -
I might actually quit. I'm within weeks (Army-stupidity pending) of working remote and not having to interact with my boss face to face, and I might quit.
2 week long call, everything I suggested was turned down/dismissed by him. Turns out, the second thing I suggested may have resolved the issue... After he decided he was going to take over the call.
While I was on the call, he ran the coffee maker, the kettle, banged his dishes around in the metal sink, and honestly tried to create as much noise as humanly possible, as he does for all my calls. I have multiple signs up requesting people be considerate.
He works for a different company, so I can't call HR, and I'm at the end of my patience.3 -
Joined a call during a potentially important life event. Work laptop password expired this morning, personal laptop didn't connect to vpn, desktop not connecting to vpn. No one knew what's wrong on the call (just that it's not working).
Not a good call.1 -
/* rant */
I freaking hate it when people call me to fix their 9 gazillion dollar ultra extreme enthusiast alien technology pc just so they can play a a god damn freaking son of a damn bloody bitchy fb game on 9000 fps in 4k while some people struggle to have 6 tabs open at the same time so they can code+compile+preview+consult the interwebs. And lets just not mention the amount of monitors mmkay?5 -
!Rant
Designer decide to have a meeting with stakeholders about UX/UI workflow for control panel of our new embedded system (no framework, no library, gui is bit per bit rendered on frame buffer).
A week later, still nothing on my table, not a mail, not a call. Meanwhile I wrote a framework, the control system, renderer, and messaging queues between tasks.
Wrote some widgets, a layout system and a view swtching mechanism, and a separate stack control to use a "back" button.
Now I am stuck for I do not know what should happen when clicking on various (non obvious) items on the touchscreen.
Fine, I'll ask the designer.
"Oh, I will write the workflow next week" (ETA time, 2 weeks. Seriously? You take a week to draw on Adobe Illustrator 20 screenshot with text and I have another week to write it from scratch in C?)
Ok, while you write it, just tell me what should happen when I click an active item.
"Well, we didn't talk about that. We just decided the colour of the icons on the screen..."
For fuck sake...8 -
Yesterday I had an interesting interaction
- I complain about not having tickets for something, as it makes it unclear who needs to do what
- manager tries to call out on me for “not giving precise infos”
- A frustrating argument starts, ends up with manager defending himself telling we need a meeting with [other team] to sync on infos that are not clear
- meeting starts, manager starts to make a buffoon about himself
- other dev out of nowhere tells that the manager is not giving the task to him for some reason
- other manager is speechless at our manager’s incompetence
Managers.😎1 -
Client : I am unable to download data from your sever for last 10 days.
Me : Sir, we are sorry to hear that. We are doing some maintenances on our server from this morning today. We request you to call back us in next 4 hours.
Client : But i am facing this problem for last 10 days.
Me: Sir, i heard you. As maintenance is going on it will not be possible to download data this time.
Client: From when this maintenance is going on?
Me: from this morning sir.
Client : but i am facing this probolem for last 10 days.
Me: Sir, you are not understanding it, or may be i am failing to describe the situation to you...
Client: Listen, you guys are incapable. Only knows to make excuse.
Me: Sir..
Client: Sorry to say, i am not Happy with your support. Let me talk to your senior tech guy.
Me : Sir, your problem will be solved in next 4 hours. We will call you as soon as our server went online.
Client: *.....*
It took me 20 minutes to finally make him understand the situation.
Client: Why did not you said that earlier? You guys will have all the time but i do not. Anyway.
He hangs the phone.
My ears are burning man...9 -
Client : We have performance issues on <this> page.
US : Testing with their data on : Xeon : All good, Core i7 : all good, Core i5 : all good, A smartphone : all good, core i5 UM version from 5 years ago (You know, 1.8Ghz, 2 cores, not 4) : all good.
US : Could you share your screen and show us ?
Client : Sure ! Shares his screen. Chrome is already opened. Refreshes the page, after 15 seconds, chrome : Would you like to stop script on this page ?”
US with mic on mute : “WTF?! It cannot happen here. It’s only a list of about 500 rows!”.
US : “Hello, could you open a tasks manager?”
Client : “ Sure, but I need to do it through here”
Some random VID interface popping up. Opens tasks manager with a beautiful “48 vCPUs detected”.
I have no idea how their virtualization is settled, but it seems to be messed up. Tomorrow going to be fun. I have a call at 9am to explain them their problem. Their IT will hate me forever.
If anyone has tips on Chrome through virtualization, please tell me.
EDIT : Yes 48. Not 4-8. It's not an error6 -
My manager wonders why I don't respond to people in a timely fashion.
I'm watching 83 Slack channels and private messages, I get 45 emails an hour, I'm on-call, and I have 125 servers to monitor.
Number of Jira tickets I received in the last 3 days? One single fucking ticket.
Open a damn ticket and I'll shove you to the bottom of the backlog, just like everybody else... I mean, I'll be able to track your request and not loose it.7 -
... no longer on call. Am on hour 12 of a call that has a few more hours to go and have handled 3 others today. Coworker is on hour 36 of a cal with possibly 24 more to go. And 3rd is finally eating as he missed meals all day for more calls than i can count. Who the fuck decided they hate us and want us to die these deaths????5
-
Manager calling me at 9PM on a Saturday.
Fucking no-brained, zero balls cunt.
I didn't pick, of course. I dont take calls on the weekend.
I text a colleague to warn him, turns out he's already recieved a call from the cunt.
Does weekend not mean anything to you managerial mother fuckers?6 -
Been there for two weeks
[Team lead] why didn't you deploy to production like i told you, while i was sick?
[Me] nobody told me i should do that
[TL] i wrote you on slack
[Me] I'm pretty sure you didn't
*TL scrolls through history, can't find proof*
[TL] okay I can't find anything, I probably told you in a hangout call
He did not, I would remember that...3 -
Lets create a library.
Lets use that library in a project.
Lets wrap the library call in a wrapper functione to remove duplicate code.
Lets add an overloaded wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that calls the library to partially undo the duplicate code removal.
Lets add another overloaded wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that calls the library to partially undo the duplicate code removal.
How I love it. Not.
Sometimes redundancy makes sense, especially when it are two lines which make it obvious whats going on vs a single line that leads to a fuckton of overloaded wrapper functions.
Sheeesh.
Today in "code monkeys deserve divine punishment".
Another funny thing is creating a Helper class for Junit 5 tests, making it instantiable and adding to it all kinds of shit like testcontainer creation, applications instantiation, mocks, ....
... Then " crying " why the tests are so slow.
Yeah. Logic. Isolation of concerns, each test should be a stand alone complex.
But that would lead to redundancy... Oh no.
Better to create a global state god object.
Some devs... Really amaze me, especially when they argument in ways that makes one really wonder whether they are serious or just brain dead.14 -
The most awaited "Trivia Bot" is here, asks technical trivia on various topics, uses quizapi.io,
Source Code: https://gist.github.com/theabbie/...
You know it's written in JS, if it fucks up, not my fault.
To use, call, @trivia
Gives a question and atmost 5 options, reply with option ID.
Demo in Comments.302 -
“Hey, thanks for accepting my request we have a role you might be interested in.”
Sure, happy to move forward
“Great you just need to a complete a Technical test”
How long is the recommend time?
And I quote:
“It’s entirely up to you how much time you spend on this task. I’ve seen tasks done in 45 mins with minimal effort previously. I’ve also seen others take a week on it. Totally your call”
——
...so you contact me to offer me a role and want me to invest up-to 1 week on a technical when I’ve not even visited your offices. How about no.2 -
I took this contract and made the suggestion that we backup to the cloud and create a private repo on GIT. Client said no, local should be fine, they don't want someone stealing their code. I said okay fine.
AC just went out in the server room and they apparently had a leak from the AC to the power supply which they happened to put on top of the rack servers and switches. I'm surprised that place didn't catch fire, might be to early to call it.
All this on a Friday and we were 2 weeks away from launch party.
Not my fault, I clearly said we backup to cloud and use GIT on private repo.3 -
Today I had the most f...g ABSURD and POINTLESS meeting with the client ever, that was arranged by the sales! I drove f...g 100km there and f...g 100km back to have a meeting that lasted about 20 minutes. And it's not even the worst yet. It turned out that I was not even the right person to be there. So guess what - the whole meeting boiled down to me making a phonecall on a loudspeaker to the f...g right person. I have wasted half a day and I HAVE OFFICIALY BECAME THE MOST EXPENSIVE PHONE HOLDER!! Not that I have not insisted a few times before to make a call to ensure that the meeting is necessary at all.2
-
Not sure why I still call my smartphone a phone at all. I rarely talk on it. It's a microcomputer with a phone app. I'm really surprised my toddler even knows to put it up to his head and pretend talk.3
-
I was struggling with a task on a project and decided to call the colleague, who's working on this project as well (he built it, I am just on-boarding) to get some advice.
Literally the first thing he asked me was: "have you seen whom this task is assigned to?"
Fuck! So I spent about 1.5 hours on not finishing a task that I shouldn't have worked on in the first place. Great.5 -
Working for a company where the coworkers working 24/7 and the boss (ceo) expect me to do the same, even working on weekends.
But when i mentioned I have life distinctly personal and working life. But no, boss wouldn’t care much about my life anyway.
I got call names for being a not team player, not committed much , a thief (“ I paid you money but you didn’t work 24/7”) and they even claimed I don’t have heart to work.
It affect my personal so much that I can’t be happy even on the weekends. I got perturbed sleeps. Keep thinking of working .
Obviously they played well on guilt tripping me.8 -
I'm working on a larger web project for authorities that went live yesterday.
I also trained the staff for the last two days so that everyone knows how to register an account, use the application etc.
Got the first call today: "I can't create an account...the website does not start".
Uh..okay...what the? >_>
Turns out, the user entered the URL in Google Search and wondered why nothing happens and why the website does not load.
Wow... and that was just the first call.1 -
Our team really needs some workflow arrangement, and this time it was me who screwed up.
So we have to push an update to the Play Store and the App Store the Friday, the app is well tested on test environment then production environment, we got the ok so I uploaded a build, the app management team then continued the process of publishing..
During the weekend the app was approved and live to almost 500k user that can receive the update.
I got a phone call from the Project Manager at almost midnight, the time was really suspicious so I answered.
- Me: Hello.
- PM: Hi, sorry to call you now but the app is live and we have a problem.
- Me: what kind of problem? Let me check.
So I updated the app on my phone and opened it while I am on call.. I almost had heart attack!! WE PUBLISHED A VERSION POINTING TO THE TEST ENVIRONMENT. Holly shit
- Me: shit call the app management team NOW.
Eventually we removed the app from sale (unpublished it) and we submitted a new version immediately, once it was approved the next day we made the app available again (so for those who didn’t update yet, there will be no update to a faulted version, and no new users landing to a version with test data), I received one or two calls from friends telling me why the app is not on the store (our app is used nationally, so it’s really important).
Thank God there was no big show on twitter or other social media.. but it’s really a good lesson to learn.
I understand this is totally my fault, thankfully I didn’t get fired 😅4 -
I think I just blew my own mind here.
Look at this:
Class SomeClass
{
_call($functionName, $arguments)
{
return call_user_func(array('SomeClass','uselessMethod'), 'method');
}
method($foo)
{
return new Adapter($foo)->execute($this);
}
uselessMethod()
{
return $this->method(__FUNCTION__);
}
}
so __FUNCTION__ resolves to
Caller:
You can run that code, whether you comment out uselessMethod, or not.
Adapter is a function that looks for what class to call depending on a database value
and execute the call.
So api basically uses a chain call to do stuff like this in controllers, here's how
I call the above:
$someObject = (new Class($object))->uselessMethod()->doSomething()->doSomethingElse();
But like, eventually my code matured to where all those methods in the chain call have the same one line return that calls my adapter to find the logic to run.
So, basically, I can now have a class with headless function calls that calls a directory of other classes, that are all defined in a contract somewhere. So as long as those classes
all adhere to the contract, it will never return an error.
I can't think of any reason to do this, other than my setup, and I have a sneaky feeling,
as dirty as this trick is, that there's a bad reason my code has come to being able to do this.
Maybe wrong strategy pattern from the beginning?
I'm sure it'll come to me like 3 days from now..3 -
Me: so, what are you doing as a developer?
Him: I am full-stack developer, basically ROR...
Me:...! Sorry, do you mean R&D, research and development? Or you mean Aroura DB?
Hi: no man, I am expert in ROR! You can not call your self developer in our days without knowing the on demand technologies!
Me:... Sorry dude, can you please tell me what is ROR, I don't want to lose my title as a developer!!!?
Him: OK, we call Ruby On Rails as ROR.
Me: ~¢°¤”©°$®”«2 -
Send over the entire directory for a WordPress site we completely overhauled with new plugins, custom theme, redid content with visual composer, etc. I tell him to backup his site and then put everything I give you as fresh. He tells me he can't just wipe out his entire site that's unacceptable. I ask him what's the problem? he rambles on and says a lot of words that don't really mean anything then says security. so I call him out on it, what security issues do you have? well we have users and permissions setup he says. I explain That I copied his users table over when we did the redesign, so it's the exact same stuff. so I say again, why can't we just replace everything? well that's just not acceptable he says. I ask him again, what EXACTLY is your problem with replacing the site since I already addressed your security concern. he couldn't answer me so now we have another conference call tomorrow morning with more people from their team. I'll let you know how it goes.
tldr; clients are idiots, call them out for the dumb shit they say and have no response.7 -
So today i got a call log from some users saying that they have "lost" the print page button when we made them switch from IE to Chrome, and I need to put the functionality back for chrome, after checking to see what print button they were talking about, because our system didint have the function to begin with, i realised they were talking about the print button on the IE toolbar that did not appear in chrome :/. The dev team had a good laugh afterwords.6
-
I missed 25 on call alerts over night.
Me and my wife did not budge. Look at me call history and I cleared my voicemail at 4am... No recollection of that at all.
Oh well!5 -
Im on vacation and my boss is terrorising my phone number. Having answered after the 5 th call he claims I’m not on vacation until i sent out a handover to all my colleagues. Fuck this shit I’m so done with them17
-
I practice what I call "Aggressive Oriented Programming" or AOP.
Whenever I'm investigating a bad bug, working on a project that I really hate, or dealing with messy code written by a messy developer, I often find myself resorting to an [internal] state of violence.
It's not like I scream and smash my screen (although sometimes I want to). It usually consists of a few git blames and some curse words in print statements for debugging. This is just my way to vent.5 -
If you are programming in C++ please always return a type from a function as the function prototype return type.
I had to debug some old code that failed to return a boolean on one of its flow paths. It would work on linux in release and debug, would work on windows in debug, and fail on windows in release.
The failure was NOT straightforward at ALL. It would return exit code 3. Then if I added a debug print to the function it would segfault.
Why the hell would popping something extra off the return/call stack not crash more readily? Wth is the point of debug compile if it won't catch shit like this?8 -
I don't get it why there are so many people out, that think testing stupid model classes with getters and setter is needed.
Dude. There is no logic in this class ... it's pure data that gets not modified there (well except if you call the setter)
I've wasted way too much time writting useless unit test because some ppl want to masturbate on 100% code coverage 🤦🏻♂️12 -
Why do these people want CoC(k) in original linux?
As Linux is fucking open source, why don't they make their own fork.
They can call it whatever they want and they can surely add code which is not based on meritocracy.
A good suggestion for name would be CoCoS (pronounced as Cock OS)9 -
Sometimes I see advice given to others that is either clearly wrong or even dangerous, but it's not socially acceptable to call them out on it because 'everyone is entitled to their opinion'.
Yes, you're right. I'm entitled to my opinion based on doing this for 20 years and facing your exact, usually "junior" situation a hundred times. You did a code camp earlier this year and still think JSX is part of the Ecmascript standard.
There is a difference, and not being able to point it out without being scolded for being "entitled" (ironically) is slowly draining me of any interest in helping others.
How the fuck do you cope with this?18 -
I see a lot of people with shitty interactions with recruiters, but I have the chance to work with one to get into what I want to do (net ops incident response) if I call this recruiter.
Backstory: friend applied for a position, got offered this morning (not going through a recruiter) AS recruiter called him for another position within same company. Friend explained situation, but said someone (me) might call recruiter to talk.
Job would increase salary by minimum of 25% and is much closer to what I want to do. Even if I'm still on call, it's a larger team and I'm interested in the stuff.
How do I not get screwed by recruiter? And am I am ass for applying when I know it's < 1 year and I'd be leaving my team down 2 people (so at half capacity)? And do I care?5 -
On call part 4: you know when you're too angry to express your anger appropriately (ensure the level of rage is fully understood and appreciated)? Yeah. 12 hour phone call later, I'm there
-
My team: "Hey were getting errors with this process, whats going on?"
Net team: "Hey were getting errors with this process, whats going on?"
Me *looks at logs once*: "Did you guys check the logs? There's a 500 error on the Net side app since 3am this morning..."
Net team: "Oh yeah we changed that but we forgot it would break your shit"
Goddammit why am i not on the alertlist if you are all going to call me when shit breaks?! Doesnt make any sense!! -
ArmA 3, a great sandbox that I "wasted" a lot time scripting modding or, if you like to call it that: developing for.
A game so great, the Multiplayer-server-browser stores the amount of players on a server in an 8 bit integer.
Someone complaint a few years ago.
Response: " be happy, it were 4 bits not to long ago"
There were Servers who ran into that problem.
To clarify, that only affected the shown number, not the amount of players, at least not directly.
Who likes to be lonely in a multiplayer game.1 -
Most horrific interview process I had gone through was by the CMMI level 5 company.
They had asked common Java questions & then after an interview they had not called back.
Suddenly, after a year I had got a call from them, I had barely remembered that past interview & still they had reminded me about the same.
Then they had said that that I got selected & offered me 10% less salary than I demanded a year back.
When I had asked why I had been offered less salary than even my current salary?
Then they had said they were CMMI level 5 company, so based on that in my next job after joining their company, I could demand more salary.
I had said them that I will reply after a year & had cut the call.
I think I did the correct thing 😎.1 -
Keep getting contacted by the same recruiter for the same company. emails, phone calls, messages on LinkedIn. i can't get rid of this guy. don't know how many times I have told him "I'm not interested in working at a call center."1
-
I was excited to get back to work on a major project today. I was thinking in the shower, on my bike, on the train, on the walk from the train to my office, on the elevator, about how I would approach it and came up with a good plan. Again, I was excited.
Then, on our standup call, a dude says he needs access to the util server I manage, and just happens to not know shit about Linux. So I spend the next hour and a half walking him through simple SSH commands, and completely lose my train of thought for the project I was planning to tackle.
Now, I'm seething on the toilet, hoping to reset.4 -
So I just got off of a teams call which I suffered the classic BSOD part way through, a colleague tells me that the entire time I was disconnected waiting for my laptop to restart, my team's account was broadcasting a super loud jackhammer style racket to everyone else in the call 🤦🏼♂️ and of course nobody knew how to mute me so they sat in 3 minutes of what can only be described as noise 😂😂
I'm not sure whether to feel embarrassed to have caused the issue or to be annoyed that the software does something so random while I'm not even in the call or with a powered on laptop 🙈4 -
Fuck the NBN - you aussies will know!
So apparently Fixed IPs are not a thing for HFC connections unless you have a business account.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Although I didn’t pay for a fixed ip on adsl and it states it’s “dynamic”, mind you it hasn’t changed in 6 years... so it may aswell be fixed right? Right?
Now I have to go explore DDNS with Cloudflare, looks like a api call on ip change will do the trick but urgh.
Ps: I finally.... made it to the nbn - well that’s next week...
only 3 years overdue since my first “NBN ready” letter 😂2 -
Finished my on call rotation. Coworker is still on a call for 10 hours. She's not on call. I might be getting on this call. For the sake of the idiots who didn't listen and broke it worse, I really hope I don't have to take over for her. I might get fired tonight...5
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I forgot to put myself out of office today on our call schedule... Thought I'd get away with it because I shouldn't get calls anyways. Got a call. Not handling it, passed it on, but it woke me up... :(2
-
This is what happened today in our dayli:
Lead: We need to profile our software
Me: You can use the chrome devtools as remote profiler, even on prod, or make HAR files for later inspection.
Lead: Yeah but no that’s just collecting data on every tick, we need something like “has been called x times”
Me: Yeah but you can filt -
Lead: Yeah no, so back when I wrote code in Delphi...
Me: *oh god no not this again*
Lead: ... We could have clicked a button in our IDE and it would wrap the function call with the API call to profile that function ...
Me, to the secret dev group in slack: doesn’t a simple method decorator and node performance api help with that?
The people in the group: We had this topic last Friday all day...
Me: oh well *get’s coffee and ignores lead*3 -
Sent a cv to a company because facebook threw their ad at my face and i said why not. They emailed me that they would call me today. I dont have a phone. Its not fucking 2007. Call me on matrix or telegram or even skype ffs.19
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So, I am currently seeking opportunities at other companies. I randomly got a call on Thursday around 12pm from an unknown number and I was not able to take that call as I was in a meeting. Later on, after looking up that number on Truecaller, I found out that it’s a recruiter from a US-based firm that I had applied to earlier. I immediately tried to call that person again but she was not able to talk as she was in another meeting. I tried texting the recruiter asking for her availability but she didn’t respond. I called again and this time she got annoyed at me, saying that she will call me back if needed. Now, on the weekend I again tried to message her, asking when she is free for a conversation, she is acting high and mighty, saying that she will call me when we (the company) have interviews again (hinting that I have missed the opportunity and it’s my fault). Her passive-aggressive attitude seems to be coming because I didn’t take her earlier call— I did not deliberately avoid her call, I was in another meeting. I was not given any intimation that she is going to call me— let alone on a weekday at 12pm. My current company expects a high-level of professionalism and I intend to show the same level of professionalism in any future companies that I work with. This kind of dehumanization (mainly due to a power imbalance in top-down heirarchical structure) is why big companies have hard time retaining workers these days. And this company was not Google/Apple or anything remotely in the same league. So I seemed to have dodged a bullet there.4
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Something is really fucking wrong with people in my company. They fucking calling me after 5PM on Friday when the server is down. What part of my role you fuckers don't understand. I'm not a Network Engineer and I don't have fucking access to the fucking server.
Call the fucking Network Engineer. If his not picking up his phone then that's his fucking problem not mine.
(Bang the Table) Fuck this shit4 -
ComputerToucher: *opens Jira ticket* Dev team needs tokens for the APM for a new app with multiple tenants. Ezpz. Hey, developer. Do you want one golden token for all of your app tenants or would you like us to generate one token for each?
Developer: Let’s have a meeting to discuss it.
CT: It’s…an exceedingly simple question. One token or 4? Which does your app support?
Dev: Yeah I think we should discuss with this with the platform team, can you set up the call?
CT: (Internally) I am the platform team? Do you not know how your applica-never mind I’ll just ask the PM directly.
CT (in chat): I’ll ask PM to schedule the call.
*Goes back to Jira ticket, changes priority to 4, removes ticket from sprint entirely, picks something else to work on*6 -
FU*** unnamed company..... lets recap.
I went for a job interview at this unnamed company i was acting like me and dress like i normally do, witch is good not extrem like a model but normal OK. like you would see in any company.
Yes maybe i could have got a haircut but you know time...
but not to drift, i when i was myself in the interview and no out of the ordinary things happend....
3 days later they call with feedback and you properly guest it! they did not like my appearance..
Like why? my feedback to them was to think that refusing someone based on there personal statement of looking fucking average JO is not good thing to do. and that it makes them look like big "i am better than you..." jerks....
of course there was more of this so called "feedback".
They also ask if i had any feedback for them... i kindly suggested that they need to invest in training how to not judge people on how they look but on there ability of there work and skill....
pfff.. that gone! alright thanks devrant for this outlet.5 -
Not at my current dev job, but I worked for a place that had us be On-call and if someone called we would all get an email telling us who was complaining, where the site was, the problem, etc.
This service was a 24/7 service.
Anyways one of my first times on call I definitely slept through like 12 emails throughout the night, and when I woke up the next morning I saw that the owner of the company had taken all 12 and resolved the issues.
I thought I was a goner for sure. -
I'm not, by far, what you pros call 'decent' at being a Linux wiz but installing Discord on Manjaro got me feeling 1337.
And all I did was run packer -S discord.5 -
Today at 'Derp & Co' a fellow co-worker decided that had duplicated data on Relational DB is good!
- Dev: 'but what if we have 2 companies in diferents groups?''
- co-worker: 'Just call it company A and Company B'
- Dev: 'but... this is not what...'
- co-worker: 'Trust me Dev, is the easy way'
I want the professional way, not the easy (and damn wrong) way :(, I can't improve myself like this.
Also, dead line is here too... TT^TT
Last sprint and still with doubts about the DB structure.12 -
So the other day I randomly checked out a few job postings on some recruiting agency’s website. Didn’t even sign up or anything.
The very next day I get a call from them. The person on the phone tells me they noticed I had visited their website and was wondering if I was interested in applying to any of the offers. Even as a developer I was totally taken aback as to how they managed to track me down based on a single visit.
I believe I ended up on their website by clicking on a link on LinkedIn. I’m assuming it’s via LinkedIn that the managed to get my info (phone etc.). All in all I’m not extremely surprised. But to me it’s downright creepy and it makes me feel like I’m being stalked. Also it makes recruiters look totally desperate and I’m not sure I would want to entrust them with the responsibility of handling my career4 -
I don't know if I should cry or laugh...
Our CMS is a CMS as a Service. So, our providers, for me they all suck, everytime they make a development, everything breaks.
Today's flash news?
Well, basically any page containing some user-made dynamic objects are **empty**
But not only on our site, on their whole network of clients that use their CMS. Everything is broken.
They release new features (I should call them bugs rather) every week, and yesterday's update concerned these pages.
And for the record, they don't test. They wait that we come back and complain to see if their shitty development worked or did not.
This CMS is even worse than your first project in HTML - I mean, your first word document on your mama's computer when you were 3.
Seriously. What kind of non-quality is this?8 -
Rant
I'm tired of this shit!!!
First I receive a task to create a new functionality for the app that I'm working on and some documentation (this is the only good part of all the rant) but no design.
It's been 2 weeks since I got assigned to this and still no design, no assets, no API calls that ACTUALLY WORK.
Today was testing a plist to get a banner link, and for 1 hour that little fucker didn't returned the image I was asking.
Better, I wasn't getting ANY IMAGE. Turns out that the link sends me to a HTML URL that doesn't have any image... go figure!
So I've been working on this from some images inside the PDF with the documentation given.
Oh! Wait! There's more!
The cherry on top is that I'm implementing a chat/voice call/video call into the app and the framework that I will be using is being created now, and it's not even finished!!!!!!4 -
I think I’ve applied to 5 jobs that show up as “remote” now only to get halfway through a screening call and find out “oh, we’re looking for people in Albuquerque”.
Are my expectations out of whack? If you’re looking for someone in your city, you’re not looking for someone remote. You’re looking for a local worker who just has an office that’s not on your balance sheet.
Is it semantics?
Am *I* the bastard?5 -
Rant/story
Ok, I've always respected my PM and took everything on me, but since a while I start getting bored at work and realised many wrong things with the company and management in general.
So, brief contextual situation for you guys, I used to be very shy, unconfident and submissive. That was 2 years ago. Now am much more confident and got my own techniques in managing my constant "in the moon"-mind and relational discussions with colleagues. No more stuttering and am now answering on the spot and focussed on the discussion.
So I was having a nice day extinguishing fires on our website, this evening my PM stressly-rushed into my office (which I share with 2 other colleagues), and pressured me into giving a phone call to some developer for a situation clarification: a Json endpoints seems to truncate text after some characters.
Just came back from the loo (not sorry for the details), had my thoughts about something else, as usual, and I was just like "chill, let me get my mind together and prepare myself to be on point for this phone call". Told her I need a few seconds and she was like "now now now" knowing me I'm a bit laid-back.
Grabbed the phone, saw she was laughing (always laughs whatever I do, I must be very funny) and went talking about me to my colleague (not backstabbing but like "I don't get why he needs to get prepped for a phone call"). I managed the phone call like a boss - like usual since I got more confident -, my pm left, I finished the call, went to her to tell her my conclusions on our issue, asked me if I checked the contract with our CMS company.
Told her nope, the Json is compatible with our DB-manager's API.
She coldly answered "right, will do it myself then", I was like ok, I know you won't do it, I'll get it done.
In 15 minutes I found the contract, notified her, analyzed it, and wrote a technical email to support.
Seriously, stop taking me for some retarded person and let me breathe
Huh.2 -
1) Submitted my CV
2) Got an email to schedule a phone interview for the next week, I gave ~5 appiointments on the next week that were good for me
3) Next week passed, no answer to my E-mail, I asked in a mail, what happend
4) Got reply, that we should schedule the phone interview for the next week
5) We aggreed, in the appointment, they did not call me
6) I asked in a mail, what has happened
7) We aggreed in a new appointment
8) This time they called me, after a short conversation I was told, that I they send me task as homework right after the phone call and I will have to do it in one week
9) They did not send it
10) Next day I asked, whats going on
11) They sent me the task, and said that I can ask them, if have queations
12) For me it was not clear, if I was allowed to use frameworks for the task, so I asked it
13) I neveg got reply and did not ping for the 4th time
This was the most annoying and ridiculous recruiting process I had to deal with. It was just a waste of time.1 -
A government website that I wanted to try and scrape data from to make a better app, I've actually found to be the pinnacle of a demonstration of what NOT to do...
Containing a JavaScript file that not only had got code copied 3 times (changed the tiniest bit on each) for what environment it's on, but has ALSO got the API keys for all 3 environments, AND the APIs they've made it call from there pass FULL SQL right in the query string...
What. The. Actual. Fuck?!5 -
Most awkward video conference call?
Our department is in a 'virtual' book club, reading The Unicorn Project, and I asked..
Me: "So what similarities have you seen with the Phoenix project and projects we work on here?"
Dale: "Ha ha..sooo many. The biggest is the disconnect of managers with no clue of what goes on."
<Vice president of our department also in the book club>
VP: "Really? Dale, I'd like to know more about this."
<awkward silence with blank stares all around>
DBA: "Come on Dale...spill the beans. Got the VP right there."
Dale: "Um...nope...not going there...nope"
<Dale's screen goes black>
VP: "OK, so when Maxine asks ..." -
I have an uncanny ability to--in the middle of coding--open a tab on the browser and type just about anything on the search bar and go on to what I am starting to call a "link binge".
I pretty much bounce around the internet reading about random (not even useful, always) shit and end up wasting hours. -
Been working a year and a half on an offer for a client to plan their new system. Today they wanted us to construct the whole system and call it a beta only to pay 10% of the total costs. They said it is our responsibility to make the budget work as they are merely the "end users and not tech people". I am considering to tell them to go f**k themselves tomorrow.2
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This type of post might be good for a weekly rant (if it has not been done yet) "Most Bizarre bug"
So I am working with laravel and vuejs and I use phpstorm as my IDE and today I had the MOST bizarre bug. I'm working on a cryptocurrency website and I'm making a vue component that is going to be a stratum generator for miners and I wanted to make it a component in vue so it can be used anywhere in the site. So I wanted to call the component "StratumGenerator.vue" and i didnt think that this would be an issue. Oh boy was I wrong. So immediately my syntax highlighting did not work nor did emmet autocomplete which is something I can't work without. So i go on for about an hour to fucking figure out how to fix jetbrains vuejs syntax plugins and a very long story short it was because THE FUCKING NAME WAS "StratumGenerator.vue" LITERALLY ANY OTHER NAME WORKS
I've checked its not a blacklisted keyword Stratum and Generator work fine on there own its also not a length thing so right now I have not a fucking clue on why it does not work but i'm glad I figured out.8 -
I don’t know if I would call it a quirk of the language or serious abuse of it :P
But I managed to get a null ref exception when comparing a local int variable to an int parameter to the same function in C#.
Since a local or parameter of type in cannot be null and I compared the variables them self and dud not try to access any property on them (and no extension method or implicit case or similar) my first thought, along with all colleagues that chipped in to help, was that this should not be possible.
Turns out the method was called through reflection and in that part it injected null as the base object to call the method on.
Since local variables actually are referenced through the parent object this was what was causing the null ref.
That took some time to figure out.4 -
In my first place there was a guy, we'll call him S.
So S. was not very popular, he had an intimidating look all the time, wore workout dryfit clothes and seldomly smelt like he didn't take a shower in quite a long time. He has an iOS developer on my team. He was blazingly smart and called every code he saw garbage. Nice guy indeed :)
He was a fine guy after you got to know him and get accustomed to his weirdness... Smelly nonetheless :)2 -
Music is not always a foreground activity.
Spotify... why don't you have a volume slider specifically for your output on my phone..?
Why do I need to turn ALL non-call volume down to just turn the music down.
Sometimes I want to play games with music but I don't want the music to be totally loud.
Sometimes I wanna do WHATEVER at full volume with some music in the background.
But I just... can't
What the fuck.4 -
Working on a new payment gateway for one of my customers, and it turns out that instead of just specifying the parameters for what to include in the API call they want you to use their drop-in module for it...which is still written in PHP 4 and hasn't been updated since 2011. Also turns out that they only accept data formatted in XML.
Not insurmountable, but more than I feel like dealing with right this moment...7 -
What the fuck is clients' problem? This woman comes to me after one of the last bids I saved and spent on her stupid task! She asked me to come on skype and I said I didn't have the ID and maybe we can go ahead with a phone call or whatsapp call or even Google hangout! She stopped responding to my messages when I had sent her 3 options! It's not like I was willing to back out but hey, I DON'T FUCKING USE SKYPE ANYMORE! What a waste of my precious last but one bid!15
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Co-worker @9:00 AM: "What happened with project A?"
Me @9:01 AM: "Project B has a higher priority. Will look into project A later.*
Co-worker @9:05 AM: "Cool. Good luck with project B."
Me @9:05 AM: "Thanks."
Co-worker @11:00 AM: "Been looking into project A but could not understand what xyz means. Would you mind jumping on a call?".
Me: 😑8 -
So I got a telephone interview for a job that a recruiter found for me. Call went well, comes to the development test. Small application in ruby on rails, haven't used it in about 2-3 years so a tad rusty. Completed the test under two days (was given until Friday) not too bad if I say so myself. It's for a junior position anyway so I'll assume they wouldn't mind giving me a refresher to help jog my memory.
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This week, they tested my backend and all hell broke lose ON THEIR SIDE. We had an emergency phone call and I proofed that it was not my fault which they even acknowledged.
Today, was a good day.1 -
Today I solved the problem assigned to me by changing one character. Simplest fix ever. Except that this problem is not on my project, and I don't have control over this project, so I can't merge my pull request or deploy the code, and the dev that does hasn't answered email today, and he's not scheduled out, and he's not in his office. Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's fuck it Friday and call it a week.1
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"Hello, this is Raja C******b. The purpose of this call is not a sales call. I would like to send you a free podcast examining <blah blah blah> and its impact on <blah blah blah>. I have your email address on file. May I send this to you?"
"No. Because this is not free, since my time is money. And also because this IS a sales call."
"It is not a sales call, sir. We would like to send you a free podcast..."
"... that will try to sell me something."
"No, sir. It is a free podcast examining..."
"...Something that will try to convince me to purchase a product or service."
"Ok, yes."
"Ok, bye."3 -
Not specifically a Dev job, but I did do a bit of development at this wifi startup. It was a wifi shop where we set up wifi for hotel clients all over the US. Anyways, they said I would make great money doing "on call" support, and me being an intern and naive I said absolutely I'd do it. Well 3 months later I was put on call essentially every day and one weekend I was with my mother and it was her birthday. At her party at this nice restaurant, with all of our close friends/family, I got a call. It took me 45 minutes to solve because of how idiotic the clients were, and after that I got 4 more calls equally as frustrating and long throughout that night. I asked for help from employees, the owner, ANYONE. Nobody helped. Needless to say I emailed the owner and said farewell that following Monday.
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So we have a desktop in each meeting room. In case you need to present something. And some of the desktops, if the previous person hasn't gracefully logged off, you can't log on.
Most people would take down the login id, run back to their own desktop, lookup and call the previous person to come and log off.
I'm not one of those nice people as you've already guessed - but there's no reset button on those desktops.
So instead of holding the power botton for a few seconds and tap again, I just unplug the power, and plug it back on.2 -
TLDR: There's some days where the Gods of IT are not with you. Just lost a whole day of work.
So this morning, we (me and my team) big performance issues with our web app. Lot's of requests time out, big latency, etc
Try to ssh to VPS, latency of 10 seconds between user input and output.
Usual checks: RAM ok, Proc ok, hard drive ok, reboot server (20 minutes), update/upgrade
We decide to call OVH. After 15 minutes call, we try to reboot in rescue mode. Reboot fails at 60% + everything freezes.
After an hour, OVH opens an incident ticket on +200 vps instances (including mine) everything is down during +1h
Finally everything is okay ! Even had time to migrate my new database schema.
Still, quick heavy on the mind but feels good to go home with everything working out correctly -
once upon a time I went on vacation.
It was for 5 days and I went to Leh-Ladakh with my family. (Me, My big bro and my parents.)
It's a beautiful and cold place. Snow and High Mountain and no phone call from anyone.
It was supposed to be no call. But on the 3 days, I got a call from my junior and he said to me that server is not working and it's giving 404 error.
So I told him to go to Cpanel (It was client's server). After 1 hour I got a call back from him and he was not able to fix it.
So I had to open the Cpanel in my Galaxy Note 8, Open file manager, go through all the files and logs and fix it code in 2 or 3 files.
It took 4 hours to fix the problem. But that day I understood the value of my Note 8 and its big screen. Thank you, Samsung.
Note: The lake in the photo is Pangong Lake/5 -
I once got something weird during interview. I had to do an assignment on site taking the whole work day of time. In the end, I got bashed on how much I delivered and had to defend it. Defending was easy: the project was decent while not being much. A Mercedes without electric windows. I just told them it's what I prefer.
Later got a phone call and got hired.
The social test was the hardest -
I have a rule for maintaining sanity. It only works if you job doesn't have you on-call. And it saves me a of stress:
Don't think about work when you're not at work.2 -
Earphones on.
Notifications off.
A boss who is the most inefficient boss ever. No, yours is not, mine is, trust me.
In the middle of coding, never in the zone for obvious reasons. A workmate wants me to call him to discuss stuff as he is working from home, which I wish I were.
I keep coding and decide to call him later.
My boss interrupts me again to TELL ME IF I CAN CALL MY WORKMATE.
Whyyyyyy
FML. -
YEARS of practice. I had my ups and downs. I learned myself, left it myself early on, came back to it half a year later, continued since. Figured out that web development is not the hell I wanted and quickly fell in love with iOS development in Swift. Been riding on the wind ever since, learning something new every single day.
Today I made something that some time ago took me about 3 weeks in less than an hour. If that’s not an improvement, I don’t know what that is.
Practice makes perfect, don’t forget that. Although it sounds ridiculously cheesy and shit, this is how it goes.
I’m getting drafted tomorrow. Well, this is not exactly a full on draft and joining the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) right NAO, it’s what we call a rough draft: I am having a psychotechnical examination so the military can understand how much I need to go to a cybersecurity unit instead of going to Gaza LMAO.2 -
RANT
We use Exact for our time sheets/hour tracking. How it's supposed to work:
-Manager plans my hours in Exact.
- I work those hours on the given projects
== All fine till here ==
But then ... there is a button (don't know the correct translation) "realise" which books the planned hours for me. So I don't have to do it manually.
This simply didn't work!! No one seem to know why not... Not even the guys at Exact.
Since it's web based I opened the developers window and looked for the call behind the button. You would think it would be at least an Ajax call thingy (I'm not completely into JS)
Turns out it's a readable JS function!
It doesn't stop there... It first makes all calculations on what to display, at last, at the fucking end, it checks a setting whether to proceed the booking or not!!!!
So I found and switched the setting and tried the button again.... Now it fucking works...
No fucking way I am going to tell Exact what the problem is 😫2 -
So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.2
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PM: Page load times are up. It might be your API blocking requests.
Me: Possible, though most of my load testing was performed against a random sample of requests at nearly 5 times the expected average per minute rate. I can add some logs but I think this is a red herring theory.
PM: Yes add logs, and New Relic and get it released ASAP.
Me: To confirm, you want me to make a bunch of diagnostic changes to a mission-critical API the day before Holiday break...
I felt like that guy from the Apollo 13 team warning Gene Kranz that the LEM was not built for this and I can make no guarantees... Released an hour before we went home for the weekend.undefined finest hour friday releases fud hang on to your butts on call empathy failure is not an option -
ChaseBank is getting up my nose. Twice in four business days my account was flagged and I had to change my password for 'security' purposes. I spent the better part of 90 minutes in a futile attempt to find out why, when there's been no suspicious activity on my account, I'm being flagged. My father contacted a branch manager near him who told him to dial the priolrity customer service number and key in the letters (I shit you not) HO HO. I called the number. It's the same damn number I'd been calling. I called the branch. They told me I'd definitely receive a call back last Friday by 1800. No call. So, yesterday I called the manager of that branch, verified its location, told the manager he was supposed to call me by 1800 last Friday, and Chase Corporate would be in touch with him soon to explain that when you tell a customer you'll call them, you'll fucking call them.2
-
*background: client has told account manager he's not paying any more money till his site is done, not only is it the most in-depth WordPress site we've made, but we'll beyond the scope of the signed contract. He sent a few more edits over the weekend which I ignored because we have a team meeting later to discuss he client and where to go from here.
account manager comes in and says he has a call from client looking for me. I tell him that he should probably take a message as I'm not in the mood to be belittled by the client and we have a meeting later to discuss him anyways, we'll call him back.
AM: Come on, he says it'll only take a second and I'll be here so we can do it on speaker.
he transfers the call and we start talking in my office, before the client has even finished his first remark, the AM has left the room. Now we have the least social person in the office talking to the client when both parties are less than happy.
I managed to keep my cool and not tell the client to fuck off, and made sure I was clear about not promising any of his new edits.
Phrases like "that will take time and money" were used a lot.
There may be shots fired at the meeting later.4 -
I don't think "main" is the best replacement for "master" on GitHub, I mean Git already uses branches so why not continue with the whole tree analogy and call it the "root" branch?15
-
-Rant-
How do you (not) secure your Rest based web service?
1. Chain it to shady organic authentication system built by a hoard of monkeys high on Tequila.
2. have secret keys that get copy pasted into config flat files, and index them on your code search engine.
3. make the onboarding extremely platform specific that you need 500 environment variables, 50 scripts, 5 fancy device presses and a tap dance to make a GET call to the service.
4. fish through 500 rotating log files that the authentication system generates for each API call made.
5. Leave traces all over the host so if you have to start over, you should sudo rm -rf / and set fire to your computer. -
// Stupid JSON
// Tale of back-end ember api from hell
// Background: I'm an android dev attempting to integrate // with an emberjs / rails back-end
slack conversation:
me 3:51pm: @backend-dev: Is there something of in the documentation for the update call on model x? I formed the payload per the docs like so
{
"valueA": true,
"valueB": false
}
and the call returns success 200 but the data isn't being updated when fetching again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:00pm: the model doesn't look updated for the user are you sure you made the call?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:01pm: Pretty sure here's my payload and a screen grab of the successful request in postman <screenshot attached>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:05pm: well i just created a new user on the website and it worked perfectly your code must be wrong
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:07pm: i can test some more to see if i get any different responses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:15pm: ahhhhhh... I think it's expecting the string "true", not true
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:16: but the fetch call returns the json value as a boolean true/false
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:18pm: thats a feature, the flexible type system allows us to handle all sorts of data transformations. android must be limited and wonky.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:19pm: java is a statically typed language....
// crickets for ten minutes
me 4:30pm: i'll just write a transform on the model when i send an update call to perform toString() on the boolean values
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:35: great! told you it wasn't my documentation!
// face palm forever4 -
MySQL 5.5 end of life’d in 2010. In 2021 my company started an upgrade to 5.6. The outdated dependencies meant we needed 25 engineers for 2 months full-time to make the upgrade as invisible to users as possible. We still took about 90 minutes of downtime on cutover day. Not upgrading MySQL on time meant we paid way more in terms of engineering hours. The reason we call it debt, is because you pay interest when you don’t tKe care of it right away.4
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I'm feeling empty. All my friends and roomates went home. But I stayed in hostel. I haven't touched my laptop from last 3 days. I'm just lying on bed staring at ceiling. I'm not even in a relationship, so I call my mother everyday to get the feeling of being loved.
This quarantine is strange. First few days I spent my time playing video games, watching Netflix, laughing at memes. But Now I'm feeling empty. Very strange thoughts are now occupying my mind. I'm sleeping 10+ hrs, and staring at ceiling or outside window most of the time. My room is a mess. Forget washing hands, I don't even feel like standing up to switch on lights.
I'm not saying I feel sad or depressed, I just feel very strange.16 -
Memorable coworkers? It's a toss up between the guy who got fired for calling a department director a c*nt on a recorded phone line loud enough for the whole call center to hear it, and the guy who reported me to HR for not including him in a private Slack conversation because it had nothing to do with him.
People are weird.1 -
Hi im Nika call me Phazor , i got into programming when i heard on discord about html, then i learned html, css, still working on JS (Hard), im only 27 percent and i skipped the functions because the string interolocation / perameters were too confuseing, also after i finish js (might not) , im going to see if i can create a Tampermonkey user script for a game! =D and probably use repl.it to see what projects i can create with JavaScript113
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A few minutes ago, I was going crazy over a bug caused due to data mutation in Rails.
Basically, user1 was creating a post record and it's stored in the database normally however, on page reload for a second user, user2, the post (that user1 created) was update to belong to user2. This is because, on page reloads, I was using `<<` method call to append user2 and user1 posts together! Apparently, `<<` not only mutates the array, it also performs a database update.
Kill me please!!
Also, data immutability seems a more reasonable feature in languages now.1 -
I work remotely for a team that works together in an office, and this morning on the conference call a team member said
"one thing i think we need to do with this is stay on task, because while these things that have been added are cool we don't need to be doing anything not outlined in the MVC requirements"
Okay first of all -- this is a completely foreign technology to this team. It's not like I diddled around adding fancy animations and no function. The problem working in a new technology with an old mindset is assuming that it's going to move linearly from step 1 to step 2. And that drives me fucking insane.
- Progress in paid contracted work is done by staying on task.
- Progress in research isn't done linearly. You have to try shit -- and figure out what doesn't work.
I feel bad because I'll chime in and shoot down ideas with a fucking guided missile because I know the answer and I've done the fucking research -- I'm not a dick about it, but replying with a simple "no that's not possible, because of this or that", the call becomes silent for 30 seconds because I've shattered their understanding of the technology because nobody has taken the time to understand anything about how this thing works!!
So until they either listen to me, ask me, or learn the smallest amount to get on my fucking level, I'll keep progressing -- because whether the old world idealists like it or not -- that's my job.
Progress.
</ rant>14 -
Bug on trouble ticket system:
"I get a Nullpointer when i call this REST API *stacktrace*"
- It's not a Nullpointer
- It's a problem on your client http
- *Copy message exception, paste on google, first result is the solution"
And he's a DEV!!!!! -
Customer to me: "This should be right aligned, not left aligned. We need a fix on this 10 year old version, it's a blocker we can't do any work without it!"
Me to customer: "No. Not a blocker, minor change. We'll look at it next minor version."
Customer to boss: <repeat above>
Boss to me: "This is a blocker, check out the code and fix it today!"
FUUUUUUUUCK!
Minor stylistic changes are not goddamned fucking blockers!
I call this the "Jump; No; Boss Jump; Fuck!" effect.2 -
I am on my way home from an 8.5 hour non-stop call with one of our software suppliers...
How to you guys handle situations like that?
Consentrating became very difficult at the end to be honest.
And if it my teammates would not have been there (they gave me food, sth to drink and filled my coffee cup) I would have snapt after 4 hours...
The only thing I feel capable of doing for now is to listen to extremly loud music9 -
Dear recruiters, if you prefer telephone calls, why not also learn how to leave a message on a voicebox, display a caller ID, and list your phone number on some legit page on the internet?
Otherwise you'll leave the impression of a desperate outbound call center agent paid not by leads and conversions but just by the quantity of calls made during the day. If I had such a job, I'd also call voiceboxes and busy developers all day and get money for listening to signals tones before hanging up. -
Was on call last night. I get a phone call at 3 am that all of our clients projects (including one that was launching at 5 am) was missing libraries (thus causing the sites to not work). I was able to fix all of the errors but one (missing jQuery). Couldn’t figure out how to fix for the life of me. Had to call my boss and wake her up because I forgot I could just download it from the site. Feeling like a failure for something so small.2
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I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:
*********
Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?
*********
I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic
*********
Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS
*********
whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf
*********
Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you3 -
Got to love when the on-call takes their sweet-fucking time with the back-up. All this because the lazy douche did not what to verify the back-up was complete.
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Frontend using async calls same way as sync to load json config which contains backend api url. To make calls to backend API and sometimes file is not loaded before they call Api. This results to calling on current domain instead on domain from json file. Moreover, blaming that be is returning incorrect response.2
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Put on big headphones, explain you are busy, or just show that you’re not in a good mood.
No seriously, i so don’t have a problem with PMs here. If i receive 2 emails in a day i can call it busy already. Including the daily standup then ofcourse.2 -
!dev
Fucking hell, my phone (Nexus 5X) just died: I was browsing the web in Chrome, it suddenly hung, after a few seconds it turned off, and will not turn on at all now, it's just completely dead. FUCK!
I was going to pick up a used printer this afternoon, now I may not be able to because I can't contact the person to get their address. And if I could, I don't have Maps to find the way. FUCK!
On top of that, yesterday I got a call from the bank that my credit card was used in a fraudulent transaction so they had to cancel it, and send out a new one, which I will not have until Friday or Monday next. FUCK!6 -
I love how the people that stay here at this student accommodation uses the WiFi without consideration. There is about 14 people in the house with maybe 2 devices that connects to the WiFi, which connects to an ADSL line that has a speed of 10mbps. One of my roommates, video calls on Skype with his gf or whoever DAILY. You probably expect them to be talking and stuff right? No, they just have video call on but not talking just doing their own thing on their phones and stuff... Wtf? Dont they realise they hogging up the bandwidth?
Every time I restart the WiFi he waits for the connection to be up and goes back to having the video call up but not chatting... Ffs...18 -
*Friday morning*
Me: "Ok the client wants to talk with you on Wednesday at 10 am. It's a conference call on Hangouts, here's the link: [ link ]. Be on time, I have already sent you all the details about the topics you'll have to cover. I will be available during the weekend if you need help, we cannot afford to make mistakes"
Smartass Dev: "Don't worry, I am on it"
*Tuesday, after lunch break*
Me: "Just a final check: is everything clear with my email? I'm working late tonight, call me if you need something else. They'll probably share some slides, be sure to join from your laptop: [ link ]"
Smartass Dev: "No problem, I am fine"
*Wednesday, 11.15 am*
Smartass Dev: "Hey, what a shitty client! I waited more than an hour and they did not even tell me that the call was canceled. This is so unprofessional."
Me: "The call was not canceled"
Smartass Dev: "Dude, I had my phone here on the desk. I was ready to answer but they never called"
Me: "Did you open the link?"
Smartass Dev: "What link?????"
Me: "It was on Hangouts, I sent you the link twice"
Smartass Dev: "Really...? I'm so unlucky these days. Next time will be better 🙂" -
Recruiters on LinkedIn:
"Apologies for this direct approach, I'm sure you're not looking right now and get messages like this all the time, but I have this opportunity that I think you'd be perfect for.
It's not in a language you know or a framework you're even aware of, but I know you're right for the job. It's not anywhere near you either. Hell, it's not even on the same planet as you, but fuck it, let's give it a whirl!
If you think this right for you, or not, just call me and we can talk some more about this (even though I have no idea what THIS is!). If not, forward this on to 1000 other people or you will be eaten by a dinosaur tomorrow!
To be honest, I don't really know who you are or what your skills are. I'm just spamming you through InMail.
Laters, Nerd!"1 -
I had a technical test on Tuesday on Linux and SQL. I thought I failed. I get a call that I did pretty well and now they want me for an interview. Naturally, I get very excited.
I get a date for the interview and get ready to shine... until I accept the video call and find out that it is a technical interview! But this time instead I have to express myself in a foreign language.
(And also not with the people I was supposed to have the interview with)
No worse way to stress someone XYZ company! Totally uncool!!!
I think now I can go in a shadowy corner and whimper.9 -
Why is mobile development still a thing?
Hear me out. All these simple apps, like shopping centre discount, eshops, vinted, other kinds of webapi consumers. Many have a website and a phone app.
Why??? Why the phone app? What's wrong with just embedding your responsive webpage into a webview and call it a day ffs?
I mean, maintenance becomes trivial and there's no split brain. No? What am I missing?
Not talking about apps that rely on android/ios api, for like camera, calls, storage access, sensors etc9 -
Fuck ...Got a call for a job I applied and windows goes on fucking update and had nothing to say much about job cause I could not get to see or print job description. Fuck windows4
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We're quite keen on you so we'll definitely call you...
That call never came so I made a follow up and I got a considering the current size of the company we not quite ready to have another dev -
The code of conduct is a good thing. It doesn't persecute cis white men. All it does is tell you not to harass people on the basis of traits they cannot control. You say you only care about code quality and nothing else? There's a whole untapped market of talent from women and lgbtq+ people who stay the fuck away because of toxic communities. When you call people faggot it makes them not want to contribute to your codebase.
Linus stepped down of his own volition to try to become a more constructive voice. Heaven forbid the assholes have some introspection.
Hate it because it's vague. Hate it because it means anyone can be banned without evidence. Don't hate it because the assholes are finally being called on their bullshit.11 -
So after school i was kinda roaming around, taking the odd paid programming job for clients, not really making any money, but also quite struggling because I was walking around with undiagnosed ADHD, for about the last 2ish years, not really making any money.
Since this February friends told me I might have ADHD, so I had it checked. Turns out I have been walking around with severe ADHD all my life :P That explained a fuckload... and now I got medication that works, yay!
Flash forward to 3 weeks ago, still not doing any work, all of sudden I get poked on linkedIn "hey we need a developer, wanna work for us?"
I wasnt really looking and since it was a message on linkedIn I figured it was just another of those overpromising recruiters, but it was very close to where I live so I decided to call them directly to check it out, expecting literally nothing, nor was I looking for work.
Roughly a week after that call I got a job as team lead backend developer...
Wait I was a total mess in the last 2 years, how did I end up as lead over an intern and 2 contracted freelancers?!?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?
Sofar I am enjoying it.1 -
I had to sign a GDPR form when renewing my car's insurance. Also I forgot to renew it on time because of GDPR. They used to call me a week before it expired, but since the new regulation they could not. I like and hate GDPR at the same time.1
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So today i had to visit this banks site to do updation on a document but for some reason the modal dialogue that was supposed to open was not working and i couldn't continue to next step.
On an attempt to contact customer support, i browsed the site for relevant details. As i do that, i observed this site is so shitty that it can't even properly render on Google Chrome! It was an horrific experience finding info in that site.
Finally found the customer support form and as I clicked the "submit" it didn't give any feedback whether it was processing or not. After like over a minute of uncertainty, it got redirected to a 404 page.
Frustrated, I went on to their twitter and I almost tweeted calling out their terrible web developer team.
But, my instinct told me to calm my titties and i tweeted a regular confused user tweet.
Got their attention and few hrs later i got a phone call from someone working there. He didn't sound like a customer service representative from the way he spoke. He told it was an issue with their website and had fixed it. I tried again as he was on the line but it was not working for me. And then i shared screenshot of the issue. He tested it again and said it was working for them. Still not working for me. ( Probably cache issue on my end ). Thought he would suggest to clear cache and try. But he asked me to try on another computer since it was working for him.
As i searched for a another system, i got a call from customer support guy and he said he will do the update on their end and told me to tell details. Since the info was not that sensitive in nature, I went with it.
Pretty sure the other guy i talked to was a developer.
This made me think - had i tweeted out a mean tweet calling out their shitty website it would have been probably awkward talking to him - I'd have to be mean again. It could've ruined his day, maybe he was under pressure from his pm that he had to make the phone call. He probably hates his job already managing that shitty legacy code..
I don't know - either way, I'm glad i was able to keep myself calm and not be a source of negative energy. -
I really hate the term fullstack developer. Just call it what it really is. Javascript react developer who dabbles in node occasionally.
If you don't have some knowledge of tuning a database, tuning your runtime, handling issues with networks and latency in your code, dealing with issues with message queues, writing abstraction layers for the database, etc. you aren't a backend developer, sorry to say.
Being able to reason about a mean stack running on digital ocean doesn't not make you proficient in the backend.3 -
Rant #1
I’ve got a new client wanting me to take over their website, okay... I’ll take care of you.
What’s the hold up?
1. Anon, Get ahold of this person, they’ve got the info you’ll need.
2. We will get together sometime to go over paperwork.
3. We are waiting on the board to sign off on a contract switch.
4. I’m needing this changed immediately on the site or we will be fined, but I understand you don’t have the information to make that change - can you get ahold of X to get the information?
5. *gets ahold of X* - still waiting on Y to approve contract release and change.
Listen, I have my faults too on running my own business but at least I know what I can and can’t do when either accepting or turning away a client. I’d be happy to work on your website, but you’ve got to get approval from those on your team before you make a change, that’s not on me. It’s cool that you need whatever changed on your site before the end of the week, but I can’t help you until I’m officially signed on. Please don’t request content change when I don’t have access to the content to change it.
Go get approval by your team first before you call me about making changes to your site, we haven’t even exchanged any information or paperwork yet.
Rant #2
If you call me again knowing that I’m on a two month leave from work, I’ll slit your throat and fuck the wound. It’s 1:40. There are other techs, you’ve got the on-call list in front of you. I’m flattered you went through the trouble of finding my PERSONAL NUMBER, but I have rants to write damn it. -
-> Had to remap all api endpoints on the backend...
-> The system architect raised a critical bug, saying he can't delete reports from the GUI even though the back-end is returning HTTP 200 (for now, say we also save some sort of reports in our DB)...
-> While remapping, I had returned get in the delete call xD
-> He thanked me for not doing the other way round, delete function in get call xD1 -
I was told by my aunt that my niece (who also lives in Colombia) would call me (I live in the Netherlands). When I asked why she would call my aunt responded saying that she did not know. I was happy, it is not very often that my Colombian family calls me.
So I waited.... and waited... and waited... finally she called very late. Turns out she wanted to ask me which Smartphone was better.... :-(.
That was a disappointment... Normally if I go visit my familly there in Colombia they bring all there devices and ask me if I can fix them or install a certain program on it. I dont mind doing that. It can be very interesting. For example: a few months ago another aunt asked me to look at her computer to find out why it was so slow... turned out she had a very old PC with Windows XP installed on it. I fixed the problem by installing light linux distro on the computer. (she only used the browser so that was not a big problem). But yeah... I played for a while with good old Windows XP.
Okay back to the beginning. It is awful if family just calls you to ask witch phone is better.
Thats all... :-)3 -
to add a bit of fancyness i print the scripts name and 'by' my 'artists name' whenever scripts are executed. today i got a call 'it says error on line 1, what did i do wrong?' i am still laughing tears. did not consider this programmers joke to have an impact irl.1
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Weekly drama call 1.
(the number reflects the devrant broadcast count not the actual count).
We work with a remote team and the project manager there just loves to talk. It started as something adorable(?) but it's just plain annoying now. He keeps on talking and talking and talking. We just muted him, had a good laugh and missed nothing. Nobody has any idea when he'll stop.
:/
.
.2 -
Today was a holiday and I wanted to make a mini project for practice purpose, the generic idea was to submit form details and view the details in another file and get the said details on e-mail too.
The main purpose of this exercise was to strengthen my OOP skill.
Not two minutes and 1 text box later I get a call to reset all passwords of "friend" because it was "urgent" somehow..
Reset passwords for fuck's sake...Now I am having this idea of automating reset password job.. -
Somewhere around the world that I call fatherland and the where the internet speeds are fucking terrible, baccalaureate exams got leaked on facebook years ago. Two unrelated things? WRONG.
It's been years now, every fucking baccalaureate exams period social media websites go down nationwide. No Facebook or Twitter. They do that rather than installing signal jammers in examination centers.
I'm not angry. I'm Just feeling a little urge to plant some C4 in one of "COUNTRY Telecom" centers but I'm mostly fine.7 -
A top food chain client wants a feature Fx
and has a deadline on Friday.
We are still working on it and already estimated hours and set deployment on Monday.
(No deployments on Friday)
And the business/sales guy comes up with new deadline to submit it at Friday morning.
And was only discussing with one of my team member already working on it. And i knew there is more hours required for testing and need to deployment pre deployment phase (staging of dev)
I was over hearing the conversation between them and I got pissed off and jumped in and said Not Possible at all.
He tries to argues about giving something to him. I said we can give it to you but will not garauntee anything. Now project manager jumps in. PM and my team already know that we will be delivering on Monday.
He arguing that if the Fx is not ready then I will call client developer to office to test it directly on my team members laptop.
I said, No way. We are not ready yet and havent finished yet. Major work will be on Thursday and on Friday we will be testing till end of the day.
PM explains him blah blah stuff.
He calms down and says no worries we will check the status on Friday afternoon amd roll out something to Client.
PM, developer and I looked each other and I said, sure will deploy but will not garauntee anything. He goes back to his desk.
Seriously.
WE ALREADY ESTIMATED F* MAN HOURS AND WILL BE READY ON MONDAY MEANS MONDAY DONT F* BUILD MORE PRESSURE ON US. F* SALES2 -
I've done it! I've implemented a new feature. I call it, wheal. its just like the wheel you know and love, in every way, shape, and form. But now, you can take comfort in knowing the state of the art has surely progressed, every time you go to reference, "wheal". This has the added benefit that others who may already be familiar with wheels, will have no trouble at all coming to terms with wheals. Just please, do not make reference to wheels, or your software will not compile. And also be sure to annotate all instances of wheals *wheals are just like wheels!* until all devs have been on-boarded.1
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I'm still not over how LINQ is defined as a thin wrapper over both IQueryable (which can be efficiently queried) and IEnumerable (which can only be iterated), but IQueryable extends IEnumerable, so if you execute one unserializable operation anywhere in a query issued to your database it'll merrily pump whatever temporary collection happens to reside on the boundary through the C# program to execute that call on each row and process the rest as an IEnumerable.5
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Where and How do you make developer friends.
My coworkers are smart and decent developers but they learned on the job for the job.
But they're not interested in discussing improvements to legacy projects that barely still work until they break and we need to rush to recreate them 'better'.
or sit on a call on the weekend working on spontaneous personal projects that usually die cause another idea came along.
Sometimes I really just want someone I can hop on a discord call with so they can criticize my projects and brainstorm ideas and improvements with me4 -
My last week of vacations. A brake on bussiness programing... lol
Monday:
Receive a phone call from a colegue:
Hi the equipment it not working.
Me: ( upset with the acuracy) reboot that shit!
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😲😨😵😱
Today (Thursday):
Collegue: The printer is not working!
Me: 😡 Im on vacation. Check the cable or try to reinstall the printer...
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
2 fucking hours later:
Collegue try to call
Me: Did not answer... 😡 Fuch this shit.
Colegue send text message saying that they had a problem on the video projector but its ok now..
Me: 😠😡😢😢😢
I'M ON V A C A T I O N3 -
Family wasn't very supportive of my first choice (Film Directing) and since I live in Latin America and both of my parents come from very poor families, they pushed me to engineering in order to make money and live a better life than they did.
Even though it was not my initial call and they were not very supportive of my first choice, once I started CS they gave me everything I needed to keep on studying.
Overall, I think that for a lot of coders out here from third world countries, we can agree that engineering was not our first call, but it's mostly a way to get out of poverty and into a field that gives you advantages over others.
Shout out third world country ranters!3 -
Almost got caught taking taking a nap haha
Lately I've been taking it easy since the work I've been doing has been super easy and boring.
So I was just lying in bed watching some youtube video.
When it ended I decided it might be a good time to check my laptop and see if there was a message.
Sure enough, I WAS FIVE MINUTES LATE TO A MEETING!
When I joined, there was only one person. It was a bit hard to tell if he just didn't quit the meeting since I was expecting another person on the call haha.
Then I checked the invite list. Oh, he declined.
Oh shit. My manager was supposed to be on the call too.
Upon further inspection. He said he was 15 minutes late.
So he didn't catch me slacking off haha.
Otherwise I'd for sure miss the "you coming?" message since I turned off slack notifications on my phone and he'd think I take off an hour on fridays regularly.
Not easy to slack off, haha6 -
#storytime
Soon I'll start moving to a new place on the 16th and I wanted to change my address at the Internet provider (T).
go to provider website (T) reading that I need to call them...
CALL (T): .... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later:
Operator: Hi moving, yes.. When? we send you an email with details to send Mechanic.
Next day: waking up. clicking mail on my phone in bed half sleepy. select 15th. next. next. next. accept. done.
Me happy :) .... One hour later realizing I said 15th.. and it should be 25... FUCK!!! Me Mad! Knowing what's going to happen...
Click link in mail to change date. You need to call (E).
CALL (E) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1 hour later.... Give up..
CALL (E)(2): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1.2 hour later.... Give up..
Next day CALL (E)(3): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 45 minutes later....
Operator: Hi, yes we can move to date 21. you need to call (R) to change fiber mechanic I'll patch you trough
CALL (T) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later....
Operator: You need to call (K) Here is the number 123456789..
CALL (K): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 20 minutes later
Operator: This department (R) can not be reached by phone we will call you back.
Next day:
Incoming call from (K). Because you are moving to a new house you do not need (R). have a nice day.
Have a nice day to you too calm and friendly.
hopefully I won't be without internet for a couple of days...1 -
How I fucking HATE AMVs!
Im just looking for a song and... BOOM!
200+ search results are AMVs with that song, like fucking hell people!
Its not even fucking quality content!
Here, I wrote a Tutorial on how to AMV in literally 10 fucking seconds.
How to AMV:
Get some clips, Some copyright free music, premiere pro or After effects.
Import all of it into timeline
Go to transitions
Mash all of it together
export
call it "Quality Content"5 -
!rant but wondering,
this time I did not get my self blocked out of my server lol
But I have set up nginx to receive url then redirect to another server, my question is:
I ran tracert on the url but it ended on the nginx server, is there a way I can find out if my nginx IP is forwarding?
I have a webservice on server z, and nginx on server x, tracert end at server x, so does dev tools in chrome/firefox they show host ip header as server x. Is there a way where I can trace my call to server x if it is forwarded to another server?
I know I'm forwarding it, but if someone wants to know, can they? -
I've had enough of recruitment phone calls, from now on if they don't follow:
1) Look at the FAQ made solely for them.
2) Contact me exclusively through email or chat(Skype) indicated by me.
I'll not f*ucking care about them.
My memory is not made to record perfectly every single call from any job offering, I'm sick of getting lost in memories of calls that, in the end, sound really similar between each other. F*ck this system of "I need your number to keep in touch with you(or update you) about this offer".1 -
During the time I've been part of the DevRant community, I've noticed that users (including myself) sometimes contribute posts that are not quite rants. These are sometimes posts about the DevRant itself, reaching out to the community for assistance on a project, etc.
This inspired me to create an unofficial Slack chat for the DevRant community. I call it MetaRant.
If you'd like to join then please send an email to:
ericfledderman at me dot com9 -
After waiting a while for another programmer on another team to provide a web service that I needed to call from a client side web form, I received word that it was ready. I could not get it to work because CORS headings were not being set correctly. After contacting them and letting them know, I got an email update to the team letting everyone know that they were waiting on me. After explaining that CORS headings were not there, I just built a PHP page to proxy the request, results and set the headers correctly so I can move on. I will remove it when they get their side fixed... if they ever do.
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What do you call time spent by a new dev learning a company's codebase?
Genuinely asking because, as a non-native English speaker who has to communicate with English speakers on a regular basis, I usually end up saying that a dev is still studying the code or familiarizing himself with it.
I'm not sure why it kinda feels off for me. Is there a specific term that describes this?
Sort of how technical debt tells me that it's the cost for someone being lazy with his work before.10 -
Stack overflow is full of useless assholes, like I asked a specific question about a problem I am having that is similar to another problem that exists but it is not the same at all in terms of how to fix and instead of helping I’ve got 2 downvotes on it and a comment linking me to a completely unrelated stylistic based question based on something I SAID I HAD ALREADY TRIED CHANGING IN MY QUESTION!!! Here’s my question btw in case anyone can help here before I smash up my laptop 😑:
I have a piece of code in which I am trying to read in words which have been categorised using a number and then placed in a text file in the following format "word-number-" with a new line for each word. However, despite not mixing cin>> and getline and having tried a number of methods I still cannot get it working.
So far I have attempted using a cin.ignore() call to clear any '\n' char's from the buffer, as well as checking if the file is opening in the first place (it is), and using the >> operator instead throughout my code however I could not get that working either. When I place the get line call inside the condition of the while loop, the while loop doesn't run, however when I make the while loop condition a .eof() call it will run once however when I try to print the text that has been read from the getline call it just prints a blank line.
if(file.is_open()){
while(!file.eof()){
getline(file, text, '-');
count++;
cout<<count<<endl;
cout<<text<<endl;
if(count%2 == 1){
wordBuff = text;
}else if(count%2 == 0){
if(stoi(text) == wordClass){
wordList.push_back(wordBuff);
}
}
}
file.close();
}
While I recognise there are a lot of other questions on this out there I cannot seem to get any of their solutions to work and the vast number being related to people mixing the >> operator and getline doesn't help, so any tips or solutions will be of great help -
#DailyRant
I don't like Laravel Livewire and the architectural aspect of it. Every key stroke is a call to the server. The freedom of designing the minute behaviours are taken away. (e.g. border-bottom on a certain div). The maintain ability is not good either. Change one variable name and the whole thing breaks and it's difficult to pinpoint where it broke exactly. And the most of all, it's not beginner friendly.
My chest feels lighter now. Thanks. -
My manager just told me this at the end of the work day.
Today, my manager got a call from client "X".
They wanted to know why issue "Y" happened at event "Z" that was being put on for their client.
My manager basically told them we had nothing to do with that part of the event, so we wouldn't have had anything to do with solving problem "Y" either, but that what ended up causing problem "Y" had been passively mentioned to us months ago, and that he's not sure why their client didn't communicate it.
Client "X" told my manager that they would call back after talking to their person that helped organize event "Z".
No call back.
Definitely rant-ish, but also kind of a funny/ridiculous story to end the work day with.4 -
I just LOVE (hate) watching people click on the ad link to YouTube that's not actually YouTube and then call me over to get them out of the spam site.1
-
While fetching data from a cursor, cursor.getString(cursor.getColumnIndex(COL_NAME)); was giving -1.
The issue? Did not call cursor.moveToFirst();
Was stuck on this for 3 days 😓 -
We noticed that in our landing directory we were receiving duplicate files.
I asked the source to investigate.
He told me that the issue was not at his end. He asked me to mark the issue has been resolved from his end. I refused.
We get on a call to debug the issue. After 30mins he is extremely frustrated. As he was sharing his screen, he runs the command `ls -ltr | uniq -cd` on his server which sends the files and then screams at me "Where are the duplicates? Show me. Check the output. There are no duplicates.".
I first muted the call. Had a good laugh. Made him repeat it to show my team mates. They had a good laugh too.
I then asked him to call it a day. And once you cool down, think about what you just showed me. -
To my boss who thinks is ok to message somebody:
- On his/her day off
- On Saturday
- On a Sunday morning
Of course all was related to business as usual stuff no real emergency stuff nor that would have impacted anyone waiting till Monday morning.
Of course no overtime nor on call here and been blamed due my ‘flexible’ schedule (read arriving at 09:15 rather say 09:00) but of course out of office hours work or having to deal with hot projects no one was able to deliver does not count...
Talking of true leadership10 -
Okay, I have to ask you guys this question, given that most ranters here are experienced devs.
I keep hearing this sentiment that "Oh, back in the day it was super easy to land a job. You just show up to an interview, and you have a pulse, and you were hired".
I call bullshit on this sentiment. It's not like people weren't facing rejections back in the day.
What's your take on this sentiment?8 -
Today I had the pleasure of adding a feature to our intranet service written by two of my colleagues since they suffer from severe unix dyslexia. One of them was sick so I sat down with the other one and somehow he didn't know how to interpret the output, how to correctly call it from the terminal or even which parameters are needed for it to work so I had to try and decipher their code.
How can one work on something for a month and not know anything about it?1 -
Thank You StackOverflow.
After looking for 4 hours on internet and stackoverflow, searching whole documentation and blog pages, i didn't find a solution to an error I was getting in my Android app.
So I began and started writing the question on StackOverflow, phrasing it properly, to the point (so as to not get downvoted), providing all my files and code (so not to get closed or duplicate), formatting them properly, and explaining why my error was unique. On the last XML file I see something trying to call a function which wasn't declared.
So yeah, there you go.
But it's not over yet.
I saw it and got excited, corrected it and ran the code again. But accidentally ran it on the emulator and forgot my device wasn't connected anymore, and the emulator wasn't already loaded either. And my machine is old.
I don't know what to say anymore.1 -
Previously, I've shared a story about the internship at an IT department for a local "center for student guidance". This was back when I was in high school.
Since nearly everyone was incompetent with tech, we often got a call for dumb IT errors. We got a call that a user had a black screen and could not work anymore with her computer.
So we went to troubleshoot, she was correct... A black screen but her computer was still booted. So we moved the mouse and the mouse showed up. We pressed escape and she could continue...
She called the IT department because she was on the last dia of her powerpoint and the text for "press escape to close the dia presentation" has disappeared. She never touched her keyboard or tried anything :D -
That's a good one!
Sadly, in real life, I'm overly polite (working on fixing that dammit!!) and always trying to stay professional. I have a couple of coworkers who not only need a scolding, they need someone to beat their idiocy out of their little brains.
I have on occasions told some coworkers off when they were way out of place. A recent one: idiot PO trying to micromanage the dev team and thinking he's manager of the devs, came to me personally (sudden Slack call, no calendar invite) with some bullshit feedback about ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ CUMmNnicaTioN (I had to). Told him it's not his place to give me feedback and it's not his place to manage my time for me and ended the call aggressively which I don't prefer (it's always better to keep your cool and control your thoughts and words). My cholesterol level went up writing this.
Thank you and have a nice Monday!4 -
Why can no-one, not one single solitary fucker, on StackOverflow get it through their thick skull that when I call PHP's http_response_code() or try to get $_SERVER["REDIRECT_STATUS"], I want the response code from Nginx? No, not Apache. No, I don't want to pass a status code FROM PHP TO NGINX, I want the response code. FROM Nginx. TO PHP.
In what fucking universe does PHP know more about the response code than Nginx? It doesn't. Nginx knows the response code, because that's the fucker that redirected to the error page. I want the error. Passed to the page. From Nginx. To PHP.
NO, http_response_code() DOES NOT MAGICALLY FUCKING WORK, IT RETURNS 200 BY DEFAUL- fuck it.7 -
Client's WordPress powered site has gone down due to influx of traffic. Site is cached and whatnot, the server it's on is simply underpowered and not coping. Whilst I'm frantically trying to spin up new servers and load balance and get things back online, client keeps interrupting with emails like "URGENT - Website is down", "How long is this going to take please?", and "Hello! Do you know whats going on?!". I reply cordially to each, secretly growing increasingly enraged. "Yes I am already aware and working on it.", "Difficult to estimate, but I'm hoping no more than 20 minutes.", "Yes. I'm working on it.", "Yes, I know. I'm working on it."
And then I receive this gem: "Perhaps call Word press?"
AARRGGHHH
This scene from Clerks springs to mind: https://youtube.com/watch/...2 -
I got an interview with the first company that has ever taken me seriously in 8 days (Oct 5). It's not the technical interview yet, but I'm still really fucking nervous. I really don't want to screw this up and i would love to finally be a professional...ish software/web developer; not to mention I kinda need a new job since being put on call at my current workplace (tourism's slow season). I got a lot of future plans hanging on the outcome of this at this point, and I can't shake the negative feeling that things aren't going to work out how I want them to, but at the same I feel confident enough to say within myself that I got this--what the hell is wrong eith me? 😥😥😥4
-
Here we go again:
--------
Hi xxxxx,
My sincere apologies for my professional persistence while I am having a very difficult time in getting hold of you.
My intention is to know your interest in scheduling a quick call with my Director at your free time. We are not looking for any business opportunities rather we would like to get introduced & make you aware on our full range of capabilities at a global stand point.
Let me know please.
Regards,
Sandeep
--------
In a single sentence he basically said, "We are not trying to sell you something, rather we are trying to sell you something."
Seriously?3 -
Most satisfying bug, it was something with good old $.ajax, way back when Axios wasn't a thing and SPAs weren't so widely used.
I was somehow able to fix the call params for a file that would not load with any other setup. Maybe it was just setting async to sync or something like that, however the thing is I was not familiar with AJAX at all, but I managed to get it run.
Then I googled, why its working and figured out all the answers on SO and other pages were the exact thing i set up for my call. I was so proud
some context: I was struggling with this bug for days and asked more experienced web devs, everybody answered, your code should just work fine.
Maybe thats why I have a positive relation with SO, because the first thing i searched there was something that I figured out myself, haha -
What's the difference between Spring Cloud and Boot? And what's a good book to learn either?
And I guess Spring as well. Is that a pre-req? I'm not familiar with much other than Bean and Context and not sure how AutoWired exactly works...
One project I have is to build an REST service but with subservices, and their replicas, handling different paths and on Openshift.
So these sub services need to be independently started but discoverable by the routing app(s).
Not sure how many layers but basically when a call hits the Router, depending on the path in the URL it sends the request to the appropriate subservices4 -
Delete data because it's corrupt. Angry call from support that their data is gone but they've managed to recovered it. Try to explain why it was removed only to get told they need that data. Fine whatever but if I see any more bug reports about that unit I'm not solving them because it's the data not the code. This is why I wish they'd test on their own databases, which they have, but somehow don't use.
-
It really annoys me that many tech recruiters do not have a basic knowledge of the roles they are trying to recruit for and what skill set to look for when they cold message/call potential candidates on LinkedIn.
I make it very clear on my profile that I am a Full Stack Engineer. Still, every other day I get messages about Data Engineering, Frontend Dev or SRE roles. Sometimes a recruiter would insist that I schedule a call with them before they tell me the details, and then I would realize after the call what an absolute waste of time it was.
I have a lot of respect for recruiters. It's not an easy job. But I'm starting to strongly believe that tech recruiters should be made to go through a specialized training to make life easy for themselves and to stop wasting time of people who are not even remotely suitable for their requirements. -
on a pleasant note,
Seriously, fuck myPhpAdmin. Fuck c9 and fuck MySql. My connection is solid i can do mini crap. my ajax call is good too. so idk why.
Ive spent over a week on a bug and now “occasionally working” is the best I can get and im not even sure why.
This assignment is due today.
I cant even try to do it locally cause for some reason myphpadmin and mysql dont wanna work on my laptop so yay fuck me.4 -
!rant
I hate when my coworkers that work at call centre think programmers can be summoned to fix printer or PC in company. We have tech support for that.
I can fix the damn printer if I need to but dude dont go in like a stampedo of angry bulls.
My boss saw this and placed the do not disturb sticker on door of our section. -
Ahhhh...
Finally project shifted on their server and everything working as expected.
Finally I can take breathe for a minute.
In mind(why don't I called her and make some movie plan)
..
..
.
Second client call :
Hey can you come to office our IVR not working properly?
Life sucks man -
!dev
If you driving a FUCKing Peugeot 107, don't FUCKing start to tailgate me, m'kay?!
Especially not on the highway imbecile fuckwit!
Because, I know for a fact that the rusty boneshaking rattletrap, that you call a car won't be able to overtake anyway!!
FUCKing dork, safety distance heard of it?
I bet my left nut, that you draw your drivers license in legoland.1 -
It is quite disappointing when some developers only rely on using libraries / dependencies(or whatever you call it) rather than do it manually. I know it can make the work faster but still using too much libraries will make it worst. It’s not bad using libraries, but if you use too much libraries it doesn’t degrade the performance of the app ( too much memory space when you only need that certain action and you include the whole library) but when the library becomes deprecated and no updates that might cause a problem.
It’s not bad using libraries, but not too much.2 -
TLDR: I wanted to change email to new one, but I could not remember which one I have
currently. I found out an API in DevRant JS files for email verification and used
it to find it out.
So, I am moving from Gmail to Protonmail Pro, absolutely love their service.
I wanted to do same on Devrant but I could not figure out my current mail for
"I lost my password" form. My Password Manager have only login saved, and profile does
not show email address.
I thought that this user information is stored on server so it have to be some way to retrieve it. I dug
in source code and I've found:
`<div class="signup-title">Verify Your Email</div>`
Which has event assigned to function which uses jQuery.ajax (love it btw :D) to call:
`url: "/api/users/me/resend-confirm",`
This seems like worth a shot. Few copy-pastes and one ajax call later:
*Ding*
From: support@devrant.io
To: dawid@dawidgoslawski.pl
"Welcome to Devrant"
Got it :) So I have already changed in march when DevRant on previous layout.
This is what I love in this profession - problem solving. AI will not replace human
in any way, we will just stop coding array iterations and data manipulation - we will focus
on real problem solving and human touch (like design, convincing management for changes).1 -
Special work area meeting. Partners from around the globe came in. Call in or you flew in. Close enough, have to attend in person. Hundreds of people there. Starts at 9, broke at noon, picked back up at 1, ended at 6. Focus? Improving sales. About 98% of the people there did not make sales. About 70% did not work on bids and proposals. It was extremely painful and boring. And my project manager didn't know why we were so upset the next day. It had been extremely "informative" to her.1
-
How does on-call work for your company? Our product is mostly used in the US so any pages we get are mostly in the US time. Despite that, our team has US and EU folk and me (an EU folk) am expected to wake up middle of the night for any pages that occur. I consider this a really shit model not just for employees but for the business, but I wanted to know if this is common and I'm just not seeing the point of this.20
-
i'm not a dev but i do implementations of our software so i need to work with our devs fairly often. this is an actual transcript from a conversation with a dev today - is this a bad sign when the conversation goes like this?:
developer: any news from these guys?
me: yea he replied to the email thread
he's fine with giving us his password on the call
developer: ok, just checking, because i did not receive it
me: really thats weird you are cced
developer: ohhh…. sorry… my mailbox is to messy -
We had a dispute @ work yesterday on this topic :
aproach 1 :
$res = getSomeData( [ 'filter_1' => 'str_1', 'filter_2' => 'str_2', ... 'limit' => 10 );
with
function getSomeData( $data )
{
...
}
VS
aproach 2 :
$res = getSomeData( 'str_1', 'str_2', ... 10 );
with
function getSomeData( $filter_1 = '', $filter_2 = 'default_str', ... $limit = 20 )
{
...
}
I had used 1-st b/c IMHO it's more dynamic and easy to maintain and call ( especially when there are many params, most of which not used on each call )
and my colleague didn't liked it w/h his main arguments that one can not easily see the needed params and no default vals for them ( the latest could be easily corrected in the function body ). I'm curious to read your opinions, arguments & contra arguments for each aproach12 -
I'm developing Android apps for my pastime (student on summer break) and will use my phone for running/debugging apps because my shitty laptop can't run the emulator.
If receive a call when I'm using the phone for debugging, I'm not picking it up. Even if it's a friend with whom I've not spoken in weeks. That call has to wait for my gradle to finish building.
Of course, I try to call back as soon as possible but that sometimes means an hour or two when I decide to get up from my laptop.
I'm not sorry8 -
let's call him Richie. Richie doesn't listen in team meetings, does not have any clue of what we are doing and what the important topics are. Richi is hiding between the cars in the parking house to not have to talk to you on the 2min way to the office. Richie is 'done' when he encounters any problems in his work so we have to do it. Yeah, we all love Richie...3
-
Why does on-call schedule always ramp up shortly before the final hour?
Due to christmas and vacations I had on-call schedule, five days off, on-call schedule and both times, riiiight before my schedule ended, the monitoring/alerting system EXPLODED!!11!1
Seriously, I get the need for on-call schedule, but how are you supposed to get regular day-to-day work done when you're always on the edge because you're just waiting for the next alert to pop-up.
I'm so glad when I finally move from this company, no on-call schedule and other stuffs (which are unrelated for now, maybe in another rant) anymore.
I really respect people who are doing on-call schedule and such but I am definitely not meant for it. -
I fucking hate sleep destroying on-call. I'd rather you just euthanize me and put me out of my fucking misery.
This idiocy of comparing most dev. on calls it to doctors to on call is fucking stupid unless maybe you're in health care and lives actually might be on the line. Pretty sure a fair number of doctors wouldn't wanna be on call and would rather sleep.
It also doesn't helps that it's not in my contract, I'm not getting paid for it, and I stupidly believed HR when they said I wouldn't need to. Should've trusted the dev.s when interviewing said there is. No way I'm getting out of on call without being fired when we're all on rotation.2 -
I displayed "score: 0" on the dashboard and on the review list, tester noted it as a bug stating; it should have been "score: 0.0" and not "score: 0" because the score is precision based.
You can say this is a half cup full and half cup empty scenario but I will call this silly cup full and brain cup empty!3 -
Opinions please.
I want to share a small model in my iOS app. Now on android I'd do with with ViewModelProviders, but on iOS I'm going with SharedDataContainer which is basically a singleton class that store key value data.
Is there any better approach? Data will not be bigger than 10 list items with guid (key) and int (value)
However; when I have big data I do cache on disk or hello OOM exceptions (or whatever they call that bitch on iOS) -
Programmer at an interview:
interviewer: introduce yourself
programmer: Hi, my name is ______, and am a programmer,
you can actually call me a programmer because from the top I look good, but from the bottom I am naked.
comment below whether you will be hiring this programmer on not.7 -
What's up with recruiters calling the office? Today, a coworker got a call from a recruiter. 5 minutes later I got a call from a lady from an IT Management consulting company asking me if I'm the right person to talk to which I'm quite obviously not (she apparently sent me an email last week, which, if I got it, marked as spam).
In my last job several recruiters called; how could I even talk open on the phone -.- -
Was helping a friend fixing apache url redirects he says I've got cent os i was a bit nervous. The configs were in httpd.conf file but as soon as i try to edit i see there is no nano editor
But there was vi editor, now I'm on call helping this dev and googling vim cheat sheet 😂😂😂😂😂, i had no idea how to edit the file. Its not that hard though.4 -
"Ok. I need to gather a bit more information to pinpoint the cause. When you say it is not working, how precisely is it not working? Does the program not open at all? If it does open, is there a specific action that you can do to reliably cause it to fail? Is it not working on only one computer, or is it failing on all computers?"
"When you click the icon it say to call support"1 -
Product Manager: "I don't think I should venture into defining how the user experience should be."
Me in mind: "why the fuck do you even call yourself a product owner! If it works well, hog the limelight, if not, blame it on the developer!" -
I hate it, when symfony stops the execution without any hint if you configure a dependency-injection with a non-existing class or a call on a function that does not exist.
The only reliable debugging is supported for di configuration of constructors.
It feels like, "oh. You wanna call a function or give us the classname via dependency-injection? Good luck yankee!! Better know your shit xD" -
I overheard a phone call between my project manager & my CEO yesterday in the office. This is what my project manager said on the phone: "I find it weird that we sell stuff we are not sure if it is exists and if it exists, we are not sure how it works"11
-
Part of my remote work is to have a daily call reporting in on what I have done yesterday and what I am about to today. My colleague calls me for it. She's hired as a tech support and is suddenly assigned to take note and report on my work activities to our boss. Several times, I caught her pretending to know what I'm talking about like with Puppet configurations, Firewall diagnosis packets, ActiveMQ, Regex, etc. Most of the time, I just let it go as its not my job to validate her knowledge on these different but many services. Just do the call, get the report in, carry on. How difficult was that?
Yesterday, our call was left sour because I somehow blew up. I think I've reached my patience with this woman's assumptions to how these services work. Now I feel guilty for yelling at a lady but goddamn she stoopid for fibbing through my ear. Somebody help! What do I do?
If I report to our boss about her technical incompetence (politely), she might get sacked. She's a good tech support as long as she still has her trusty manuals by her, she can fix specific problems. But when it comes to unknown tech to her, she assumed she knew.
If I tell her about her weaknesses, however constructive I can get and as politely as I can get, all the while complimenting something about her, showing her how to improve herself, maybe she'll do better not to ask silly questions like buying a Puppet certificate? At least getting rid of ignorance would definitely help but not sure how she would take it. The worst thing I would imagine is her backfiring and yelling at me and then we ended up fighting.
If I kept quiet and tuck it all into a can, it will eventually implode as we go on.
This is not about her gender. I don't see her as a woman. I see her as a tech support engineer who should know her stuff.1 -
"I’m creative because I did an icon navigation while everyone else on the planet sticks to words? No, it just means I didn’t want to stick to convention. If anything you can call it rebellious but certainly not creative. " - Paul Scrivens1
-
Why is "voice mail" not commonly used in India?
It is SO much more easier to just listen to the voice notes left by people rather than having to call you back and ask them their purpose of the call. And don't tell me "you got voice messages on various messaging apps" because that won't change my mind about it4 -
i am on a phone call, and relying on the mute button for the life of me, that the other person does not hear my loud farting from massive shitting on the toilet4
-
My web app is working on local and not online
🤯😲😲😲😲
How is it possible?
AJAX Call not working.
Not sending data😟13 -
ugh, company discussion on WhatsApp sucks. i want to take a leave from this new company i joinedbas i am bored the hell out
the company policy is that we got 16 pl 7 mandatory leaves and 8 emergency leaves. pretty good deal i guess. but as a new joiner, i am on probabtion for 6 months and I can't take either of those mandatory/paid leaves.
i was neck deep in work so could not get time to call my manager. plus had a 1 hour incredibly boring and frustrating call with another 50 yo tech lead from another team who was goin on an on like a 90 yo uncle with his wartime stories so could not think straight.
i sent my manager a "hey a***" at 7.08 pm on WhatsApp.
that's a great shoot oneself in the foot situation. i could not call because it's 7.08 pm, and don't wanna give an impression of a corporate non living dev who makes or supports making calls at odd hours. i also can't dele6 the message coz that would be more awkward
but i had went with the creepy hey text , and didn't wanna keep him waiting, so quickly add anothe message with the context : "i wanted to discuss a small leave related query, will call tomorrow"
another classic shoot oneself in the foot.
the probation guy wants to take leaves? he doesn't have any, what could he talk about it? oh right, i was gonna cheese him to give me an informal permission. but now i made it all formal.
noice :/9 -
oh shit oh shit oh shit...
Do to my horrible anxiety about covid-19 I have not been calling into stands up in the last 2 weeks or doing much work.
My boss just messaged asking if everything is okay.
First msg I said yes and sorry was having techinal difficulty.
Then I msged him back saying it would better if we talked. I can see he is on a conference call so no response.
Should I be honest or list fake technical reasons?
He is pretty cool boss but only been there since October.11 -
I write code as part of my job but also tend to have a lot of pet projects I think about in my spare time. A lot of those projects are not specifically targeted at solving an actual real problem but are just a curiosity (like my Duktape/ECMAScript thing that could import and call DLL routines.) I often find it difficult to choose which one to continue working on and end up not working on any of them because I can't decide which one is more interesting at the time! Or I get stuck and struggle to find a way around whatever roadblock I've hit.1
-
I saw an interesting course event in my city, the post was on LinkedIn. I contacted the poster about tye price and more details.
And today it's the third day he messaging me and call me about enrolling and how can I attend the shit course. I already told him I'm not interested for now.
What can I do? I am mot in the mood to be harsh and tell him fuck off4 -
I was about to have a screenshare presentation of a month-long work over Skype...
Hours before the presentation I got bored and upgraded from Xorg to Wayland for some reason the universe doesn't want to disclose...
Tried to call a friend to check if everything is working and the screenshare feature was missing! 😑 I thought Skype fucked up, tried Hangouts, still not working, tried praying to saint Ubuntu to somehow please let it work one time. It did fucking not.
My gosh, 30 minutes before the presentation and I was preparing the whole environment on Windows. I had never felt so stressed in my life! 😰
Investigating after the presentation informed me that screensharing only works on XOrg, not on Wayland.
Worst last-minute decision ever. *#-##-:$;"+3($(!#@/)#9"+(2(#1 -
My manager was asking for a whiteboard cleaner(duster as we call it). He said ‘duster’ and put his right hand in forth of me. He was obviously expecting me to offer him the duster. I thought he wants to shake hands. And we shook hands..
hope he didn’t realise what was going on. I was not drunk at that time. But just a bit hangover.2 -
Calling something "idempotent" is fucking stupid. Why do you have to overcomplicate an already complicated shit such as terraform?
Why not call it unchangeable? Something that can be understood by a 2 year old. What even is the "immutable" word for if not even that is being used??? Why have 2+ words that define the same shit. Are u fking stupid who the fuck coined this phrase Idempotent and thought it was a good idea
When i read idempotent i have to remember and translate in my mind that it actually means "not changeable". On contrary theres "Non-Idempotent" so this fucks up the complexity even more cause Now i have to translate it as "non-not changeable -> which means it is everything But not changeable -> so if it is NOT not changeable -> it means it IS changeable" Fffuck offf13 -
As if I fucking care if you have to add another parameter to my function call. Just because you think it's easier, does not mean its more usefull.
It's inconsistent as F U C K
You code IS spaghetti code. Your logic is closer a maze on a fucking one way street and I don't fucking care if it works. It's a pain1 -
Fellow ranters, I need some advice.
Work at an early stage startup to build their initial product(let's call it X) or work at slightly established startup with funding(let's call it Y)?
Both have their own benefits.
Working at X:
- I have equity (and a co founder position) thus chances of high rewards if the startup is successful.
- I get to build the whole product from scratch (great learning experience).
Working at Y:
- Don't know much about the company but I get a decent stable income.
- Work with a team (although a small one).
- Job security.
I'm currently in my final year and have given up on campus placements. Moreover, I'm not interested in wasting my time in pointless interview preparations. So I figured that startup is the way to go.7 -
Rust noob Q:
Given x a variable on the heap, e.g.
let x = String::from("Hello, devRant!");
Then, given some function that I didn't write (from a library) that takes ownership of its argument:
fn some_function(y: String) -> bool { ... }
How would you handle this situation:
if some_function(x) {
another_function(x); // not ok, because x has gone out of scope in the line before
}
Is it idiomatic to just clone() x in the first call? That seems bad practice, because it's the second (or some other additional) call that needs x. What should I be doing instead?8 -
Fuck my company, sincerly.
So Im crunching my ass off, to make product, there is +- fuckton of changes that for example require refactoring flow of certain things, restructure of how shit work, Im +- 2nd weekend now, and most heavy features are cleared.
I work till late. constantly I have someone with stupid shit like calls, indeed Im needed for that stuff but also, that slows down progress of this project. Just sake of example friday 18:00 I had call (I work till 16:00) about new minor and frankly easy feature. Today, morning 8:30 one call, than 13:00 long call, Ive done the feature, didn't push it to alpha. yet though.
Now during that call that started 13:00 I get yelled on that all ordered features aren't on prod yet (I throw them to alpha becouse manual tests must be done as standard here).
Dude what the motherfuck. Im literally wearing my ass off to deliver your stupid product becouse I know its critical for company but it does not mean I can do it all in one fucking night.
F**k off and shut your mouth up and let me work for f**k sakes.
Ah also, stop f**king remotely micromanage me you little piece of sh*t.
Thanx for allowing me to vent out,
Peace.2 -
So at the end of our sprint retrospective we (me and one other dev) apologize to the project owner for the fact that QA had to happen on dev for a few days because the database changes were not properly applied by the DBA. It was a one time thing, a little weird but not a big deal.
A few hours later we get a call from a new DBA saying that the project owner said that we wanted the old DBA off our project. So now we sound like assholes ruining a guy's self confidence and made working with him awkward as hell.
Thanks, project owner. -
mild rant. Android phone updated last night. Phone rings this morning. Swiping right to answer does not work. After putting glasses on, I can read the miniscule "swipe up..." text. OK, they put some words on there, not their fault I tried to answer the phone without glasses. But, why the world change how the phone gets answered? What it really a problem? I've already discovered a new one: reaching into my pocket to get out ringing phone caused an accidental swipe up so the call was answered before I got to look at the caller id info. Just another thing changed that wasn't broken to begin with. And no, I could not find a setting to change it back.4
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So... I'm assigned to do a new development, something related to integrate a Call Center service to our main app.
I have not a single clue on how to begin, at what to look, what doc to read (the service doesn't offer a good one), just trying thing and hope for some luck.
This sound familiar to you also or it's just me?
These moments make me think twice if my knowledge can handle and this scares me!
Also, it's kinda urgent and very important so... no stress!2 -
I notice something in the news network.
They can be either bias or don't take a stance.
For some topic their reporting is very bias. Only giving a single point of view and just use facts to confirm it. I call it being bias.
For topic which they can be criticize for taking either side they use the so called "expert discussion"
They gather various expert and discuss about the topics.
Start = Undecided
End = Still undecided with a lot of confusions.
Some people will call it Democratic news channel , Republican news channel. They are wrong. There is only 1 news channel since they are all the same.
I am losing trust on the news channel (which I should not be feeling)
Do you guy feel the same?4 -
Working for a little SharePoint-Company while studying.
Have to hunt bugs.
Found a major bug which kills one of our customers SharePoint-Site completely because of code pasta.
Told my supervisor about the bug and reported it.
"yeh. we will fix it now"
2h later they started to go live.
"Did you fix the bug?"
"No. Wanted to have the system live asap."
On my way home I got a call.
"We need you back here in the office"
"Why?"
"It crashed. Is not reachable anymore. Help fixing it"
fuck off -
JsonLint ParsingException "composer.json does not contain valid JSON" is an incorrect statement. The file contains 99% valid JSON except for 1 incorrect character which is correctly pointed out as an "Invalid string, it appears you have an unescaped backslash at: \-dev".
And why do people in tutorials keep calling it "Jay's on" instead of "Jason" like "Jackson"? I can only imagine what they would call the "King of Pop" musician ... "my cal Jack's Onn"?6 -
That feeling when you are on call and a report comes in of a feature not working correctly for a system you know nothing about. Sure, I’ll dig in a bit and troubleshoot before throwing over the fence. Hmm, feature was never coded - not in a shelve-set or branch…just never done. Was supposed to be done over a year ago I’m told. Humanity is too sick to survive.1
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If a supervisor conducts an informational conference call that’s on a set schedule, mainly consisting of members from their management team, they should avoid conducting the kindergarten style roll call start off. Especially, if the call consists of 20 or more people.
10+ minute roll calls are horrible to have to sit through, not to mention borderline degrading if the team members involved are management or supervisors. -
!dev
So, today until Sunday, a fairly general strike is going on based on how our government wants to set up our pension or something..
Now I have to call and wake up my friggin' dad to bring me to work, and probably come and get me too...
That's not all, even.. most people still go to work by car, generating a lot of traffic...
Will I be too late at work today? Probably.
Fucking A! -
Hello folks. This is not a rant but a call to comrades for suggestion and advice. Currently, Java programmer by profession. I am planning on migrating to Python and am looking to start learning. Looking around for tutorials/projects/courses to learn. Please suggest your insights. Thank you.
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So this modeler on a Dev call, I have this new shiny model, let's release this to production mid November😳 (Seriously that's how he started out the first conversation).
2 min silence, everybody looks at each other for reaction, just like a TV shows !! 🤣🤣
And the my Manager lists out the things that would be required to before we ship this out.🤐
Modeler : Oh I guess we won't be able to deliver it this year.😤
I am like what were you thinking. Everything is not just import an Excel in R and crunch numbers and write reports and show graphs. is it?
There is a real development cycle that has to do all of the above on not so pretty data, at scale reliably for 100s of clients and not just your laptop. -
Despite not having any real C# experience to speak of, I've been put on a short and rather intense enhancement project that was written with .net framework and MVC.
Yesterday I had to add a new method to call a stored procedure. The file I had to add it in was over 6k lines long. Most files, not including entities, are well over 1k - including the views.
Can't say I'm enjoying working on this project so far.
(Did I mention the clients have a tendency to change requirements mid sprint?)1 -
So, our App is gonna go live soon, but on QA Test-Users were gone/not accessable.
PM is full edge, since there's a presentation in 30min. Tells me to call the Clients host again (Since they manage the users) so it gets done. And I may not hang up till it is.
Issue is, I already called the dude 3 times within 10min already, and as I call him again, he gets furious (obv.) that I call him all day and nag that that shit geta done.
Good shit, now both have an anger on me. ffs1 -
CRONS :(
I have some module which is not working at all, It is written as cron and now I don't have idea How to debug that
I miss office :(
This WFH sucks
I could have taken the help from my seniors But in WFH they just leave the messages after seen or on call --> Network problem -> talk to you later :(5 -
you know they call me 'good' which in their speech is an insult. do they ever pay fucking attention or can they not conceive of what a real human is like ? especially one that is conflicted on various levels as a result of abuses, loneliness, depression, survival interests, years of bullshit, etc ? I'm not immune to temptation or corruption, I'm just extremely resistant.
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Fuck you google. Fuck you and your "you can only use my shit everywhere and if you have another account you can suck it's cock, but I'm not gonna accomodate it" attitude.
I can't even import my outlook contacts into the "google" contacts app, which is the only contacts app on my phone.
You actually mean that I gotta export my outlook contacts physically and then import them into your ass-tarded contacts platform to see even see them, let alone call them up?
Fuck. You.
Can someone please suggest alternatives/work arounds?5 -
Started at the age of 6 by doing simple calculator on zx-spectrum. Tho that's just a joke, not a professional experience. Somewhat serious project was started with PHP, without even knowing the language/theory/databases.... After that years have passed and now I can call myself: professional self-taught programmer.
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Be me:
Said on Friday the API was looking unstable.
Get a text on Sunday afternoon that SHTF.
Guess what got made a priority on Tuesday? -
how do I test long scenarios? I have an app with 10 screens to complete. I have a dropdown on the first screen which creates a table row element on the last screen. should I do selenium or unit test or both? selenium will have to click through the whole app and call every API just for 1 assertion. unit test will only check the dropdown has the right options which are subject to change and not really worth testing. I run into this problem every time I want to write a test. i always miss something in my manual testing and introduce defects. what should I do?2
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i hate it when Im coding and my friends joke around and call me a hacker or nerd when they couldn't even print anything if i told them how to do it plus its not hacking if you believe its hacking when im typing code on python or c# online then you need to go back to school6
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I suspected my partner was cheating with her colleague at work, but was not 100% sure about it. I could not acees her mobile
phone because she had a lock on it. I reached out to this great hacker who remotely hacked her phone and i coukd read all her
text messages , whatsapp messages , call logs , photo gallery and i saw all her escapades with different guys.
I immediately filed for a divorce and moved on with my life. you can also spy on your partner if you send an email to
ACETEAMHACKERS @ GMAIL DOT COM.