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Long rant ahead, but it's worth it.
I used to work with a professor (let's call him Dr. X) and developed a backend + acted as sysadmin for our team's research project. Two semesters ago, they wanted to revamp the front end + do some data visualization, so a girl (let's call her W) joined the team and did all that. We wanted to merge the two sites and host on azure, but due to issues and impeding conferences that require our data to be online, we kept postponing. I graduate this semester and haven't worked with the team for a while, so they have a new guy in charge of the azure server (let's call him H), and yesterday my professor sends me (let's call me M), H and W an email telling us to coordinate to have the merge up on azure in 2-3 days, max. The following convo was what I had with H:
M: Hi, if you just give me access to azure I'll be able to set everything up myself, also I'll need a db set up, and just send me the connection string.
H: Hi, we won't have dbs because that is extra costs involved since we don't have dynamic content. Also I can't give you access, instead push everything on git and set up the site on a test azure server and I will take it from there.
M: There is proprietary data on the site...
H: Oh really? I don't know what's on it.
<and yet he knows we have no dynamic data>
M: Fine, I'll load the data some other way, but I have access to all the data anyway, just talk to Dr. X and you'll see you can give me access. Delete my access after if you want.
H: No, just do what I said: git then upload to test azure account.
Fine, he's a complete tool, but I like Dr. X, so I message W and tell her we have to merge, she tells me that it's not that easy to set it up on github as she's using wordpress. She sends me instructions on what to do, and, lo and behold, there's a db in her solution. Ok, I go back to talking to H:
M: W is using a db. Talk to her so we can figure out whether we need a database or not.
H: We can't use a database because we want to decrease costs.
M: Yes I know that, so talk to her because that probably means she has to re-do some stuff, which might take some time. Also there might be dynamic content in what she's doing.
H: This is your project, you talk to her.
<I'm starting to get mad right now>
M: I don't know what they had her do apart from how it interfaces with what I've done.
H: We still can't have databases.
M: Listen, I don't do wordpress, and I'm not gonna mess with it, you talk to her
H: I won't do any development
<So you won't do any dev, but you won't give me access to do it either?>
M: Man, the bottleneck isn't the merging right now, it's the fact that W needs a db
H: I know, so talk to her
M: THE RESTRICTION TO NOT HAVE DATABASES IS NOT MINE, IT'S YOURS, YOU TALK TO HER. I can't evaluate whether it's a reasonable enough reason or not since I don't know the requirements or what they're willing to spend.
H: It's your project.
M: Then give me fucking access to azure and I'll handle it, you know you'll have to set up wordpress again regardless whether we set it up the first time.
H: Man just do your job.
At this point I lost it. WHAT A FUCKING TOOL. He doesn't wanna do dev work, wants me to go through the trouble of setting up on a test subscription first, and doesn't want to give me access to azure. What's more, he did shit all and doesn't want to anything else. Well fuck you. I googled him, to see if he's anyone important, if he's done anything notable which is why he's being so God damn condescending. MY INTERNSHIP ALONE ECLIPSES HIS ENTIRE CV. Then what the fuck?
There's also this that happened sometime during our talk:
M: You'll have to take to Dr. Y so he'll change the DNS to point to the azure subscription instead of my server.
H: Yea don't worry, too early for that.
M: DNS propagation takes 24 hours...
H: Yea don't worry.
DNS propagation allows the entire web to know that your website is hosted on a different server so it can change where it's pointing to. We have to do this in 2-3 days. Why do work in parallel? Nah let's wait.
I went over his head and talked to the professor directly, and despite wanting to tell him that he was both drunk and high the day he hired that guy, I kept it professional. He hasn't replied yet, but this fucker's pompous attitude is just too much for me alone, so I had to share.
PS: I named his contact as Annoying Prick 4 minutes into our chat. Gonna rename him cz that seems tooooooo soft a name right now.46 -
Friend : Hey bro I made an awesome program which shows your future wife's name.
Me : Hey that sounds interesting, show me the source code bro !!
Friend shows the code :
#include <bits/stdc++.h>
using namespace std;
int main()
{
string first_name , last_name;
cout << "Enter your first name\n";
cin >> first_name ;
cout << "Enter your last name\n";
cin >> last_name ;
cout << "Your wife's name is " << "Mrs " << last_name << "\n";
}
Me : Dude you are gonna crack Google some day :P17 -
!rant
Finally finished my electric longboard, extremely pleased with the end result.
Did some tests with it, 30km range and +-40km/h top speed
29 -
So someone is constantly ddos'ing the privacy/security blog.
Just wondering if they really think that 500 hits a second will bring the site down?!
500 h/s consumes about 0.1 percent CPU and 1mb/s.
At least give me a challenge 😥53 -
Why am single 😂😂
On a date with a girl:
Her: Tell me what you do for a living
Me: I create my own stress and worries, sometimes these worries follow me in my sleep.
Her: Did they follow you here?
Me: Yes! Infact, I got it now. I think I forgot to install curl, that's why my API queries wouldn't work.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: I mean, I out of here, bug is fixed bit*h14 -
Bill gates found a bottle in his garden.
He decided to rub it thrice (whyever) and a geany surged.
Bill gates: h.. He.. Hello?
Geany : hi, im willing to give you one wish as you saved me
Bill gates: I WANT WORLD PEACE, HERE IS THE MAP WITH ALL THE WARS ON THE WORLD!!
Geany: thats impossible. Other wishes?
Bill gates: fix every bug in windows vista!
Geany: gimme that world map10 -
Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:
random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*everyone laughing*
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*6 -
An hour of finding an error didn't get any.
Cousin asked, "Why does iostream and conio have a ".h" but STRING DOESN'T?"
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF12 -
Boss refused to sing my termination latter saying he wont sign it until CTO returns from vacation (2-3 weeks)... So today i brought my freelance project to work and i work on it.. guess who is making more €/h today and doesnt have to pay for electricity11
-
. _ _ _ /\/|
/ \ _
| [ o]-[ o] l l
\ ¬ / l l
////////// l l
/ \ \ / l_l
/ \ \ _ _ _ _ l
/ \ _ _|_ |- -| \ /\
| ===== |_ |
D E V E L O P E R
A T
N I G H T4 -
Having fun in Germany, I'm going to stay here for 3 days.
Everything is nice
except
that
I'll forget e v e r y t h i n g of my code
because
it is
U N D O C U M E N T E D
Wish me luck12 -
One of my older servers just went down. It's been hacked. How do I know this you ask? Is it mining bitcoin?
No - windows event viewer has no errors in the logs for the last 48 hours.3 -
Geez... Got woken up by a catastrophe alert.
Check phone, could be someone shooting up the neighborhood or something else to excuse myself from a social event.
Someone thought that 40 km/h wind and 20 cm of snow are a catastrophe.
Fuck this country.20 -
Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.
FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me
S H I T !11 -
I'm fairly certain that someone who is willing to type:
$command -h
$command --help
or
man $command
...would be more valuable than a lot of the people I work with who ask me for help.1 -
Hey, why isn't X working?
Well, whats it doing
It doesn't work
That doesn't help
OMG it blue screened
What did the blue screen say?
How do you fix it?
T e l l M e W h a t I t S a i d S o I C a n H e l p Y o u
I'm factory resetting it now
1 -
Call to arms devRanters!
Repost to support one of the nicest people on devRant: https://gofundme.com/bluenutterfly
Her recent post https://devrant.com/rants/1052590/...8 -
Somebody ranted about VIM being ported to web assembly. I present to you: Windows 2000. In your browser.
https://bellard.org/jslinux/...7 -
An excerpt from the best rant about whiteboard interviews posted on the internet. Ever.
"Well, maybe your maximum subsequence problem is a truly shitty interview problem. You are putting your interview candidate in a situation where their employment hinges on a trivia question. — Kadane's algorithm! They know it, or they don't. If they do, then congratulations, you just met an engineer that recently studied Kadane's algorithm.
Which any other reasonably competent programmer could do by reading Wikipedia.
And if they don't, well, that just proves how smart the interviewer is. At which point the interviewer will be sure to tell you how many people couldn't answer his trivially simple interview question.
Find a spanning tree across a graph where the edges have minimal weight. Maybe one programmer in ten thousand — and I’m being generous — has ever implemented this algorithm in production code. There are only a few highly specific vertical fields in the industry that have a use for it. Despite the fact that next to no one uses it, the question must be asked during job interviews, and you must write production-quality code without looking it up, because surely you know Kruskal’s algorithm; it’s trivial.
Question: why are manhole covers round? Answer: they’re not just round, if you live in London; they're triangular and rectangular and a bunch of other shapes. Why is your interview question broken? Why did you just crib an interview question without researching whether its internal assumption was correct? Do you think that “round manhole covers are easier to roll" is a good answer? Have you ever tried to roll an iron coin that weighs up to 300 pounds? Did you survive? Do you think that “manhole covers are circular so that they don’t fall into manholes” is a good answer? Do you know what a curve of constant width is? Do you know what a Reuleaux triangle is? Have you ever even been to London?
If the purpose of interviewing was to play stump the candidate, I’d just ask you questions from my area of specialization. “What are the windowing conditions which, during the lapping operation on a modified discrete cosine transform, guarantee that the resynthesis achieves perfect reconstruction?” The answer of course is the Princen-Bradley condition! Everyone knows that’s when your windowing function satisfies the conditions h(k)2+h(k+N)2=1 (the lapping regions of the window, squared, should sum to one) and h(k)=h(2N−1−k) (the window should be symmetric). That’s fundamental computer science. So obvious, even a child should know the answer to that one. It’s trivial. You embarrass your entire extended family with your galactic stupidity, which is so vast that its value can only be stored in a double, because a float has insufficient range:"
Author: John Byrd
Src: https://quora.com/What-is-the-harde...3 -
Father devrant I have a confession to make:
I stayed up until 12 in the midnight during Sep 30 to do 4 PRs immediately once it was October 1 in under 1 hour...
Now I passed out on the classroom and people think I got possesed
b r u h6 -
*Conversation about the loan*
HR: what do you expect?
Me: Dunno, I've heard you pay any student about 15€/h, so that's my expectation
HR: Jeah, correct, but do you think you're worth that?
Excuse me what the fuck?8 -
Who the fuck donated 3 USD to my Ko-fi
who are you
why did you donate to a useless person
why do you make me hunt you irl
why
h19 -
I’m conducting a train.
For testing, I tell the train to go to station C when someone requests station G. But when I request station G afterwards, it sends me to station H instead.
I never asked for this.6 -
Pls send help. I having problems with following code:
Human h = WildOrangutan
.getInstance();
Ass ass = h.getAss();
Toilet toilet = new Toilet();
ass.attachTo(toilet);
while (ass.hasOutput()) {
ass.output();
h.readDevrant();
}
ass.detach(toilet);
// This throws
// OutOfToiletPaperException
ass.clean();9 -
Testing demands a “bug” fixed. It isn’t a bug. It is a limit where as the amount of records updated in a single request overloads the RAM on the pod overloads and the request fails. I say, “That isn’t a bug, it fits within the engineering spec, is known and accepted by the PO, and the service sending requests never has a case for that scale. We can make an improvement ticket and let the PO prioritize the work.
Testing says, “IF IT BREAKS IT BUG. END STORY”
Your hubcaps stay on your car at 100km/h? Have you tried them at 500km/h? Did something else fail before you got to 500km/h? Operating specs are not bugs.16 -
!rant
Four hours of work.
You think you write spaghetti code? I write spaghetti wires.
H-Bridge dual motor tester for stepper motors.
Speed is controled by pot.
H-bride are L293D.
My third board, and the first that won't go to the trash.
Question. With the baterry off the motor continues spinning with the 5v from arduino.
My question is, is the L293D suposed to do that? Or do I have a short circuit somewhere that is giving power to the motor? Meaning it can burn the arduino.
Runs a 12v stepper from a CD-Rom driver perfectly at 5v from the arduino and actually starts to act strange when I turn the 12v on. (maby the circuit it's adding 12v + 5v?)
24 -
"Lawsuit Alleges Facebook Favors H-1B Visa Workers and Other Temporary Visa Holders over U.S. Workers"
And no one was surprised. Not that this will make a dent in the labor arbitrage problem, but at least it's evidentiary confirmation it's happening. If it goes through it'll likely mean a slough of follow-on lawsuits for the thousands of companies doing the exact same thing, and a cottage industry to find new creative ways to continue being predatory assholes.
https://justice.gov/opa/pr/...18 -
This is what happens when you make style more important than function.
Pop quiz: when you lift the handle, what temperature water do you expect to come out? (This isn’t a trick question; assume you have an awesome water heater with instant warm-up time)
“Hot,” you might say, because the “H” is pointed towards you and aligned with the faucet.
“Cold,” you might say, because the handle is turned in the direction of the “C”.
There wouldn’t be any ambiguity if the H/C markings were on an immobile part of the fixture so that the relative position of the handle made the answer obvious.
(If you instinctively answered “cold” then congrats this is the perfect faucet for you.)
14 -
So earlier today as I was walking out of class, I overheard some people talking.
One of them said “Oh I hacked google”
Then the other one said “Oh yeah I hacked google aswell. I made it say (something I forgot)”
They were thinking that using the dev tools to make one of the tags say stuff was hacking.
😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
I had to run away
It was t o o m u c h9 -
So... Been making a script so that my tmux layout on my tty only hard drive displays the weather.
Apparently there is a place called 'Shit' in the world, and there's some 'Patchy rain possible' in 'Shit'.
'Shit' also seems to be 15 °C, and have 3km/h winds. Not sure which direction, but I hope nowhere near my house.
7 -
Conversation between my husband and myself.
H: I ordered a game for the switch last week. It was delayed by USPS, and it looks like I got a partial refund due to it being late.
Moi: That's your mail privilege at work.
H: Did you really just make a mail pun? *Snerk*
Moi: This is why we work. ♥️5 -
So some programmers (specially C programmers, it seems) have this terrible habit of writing very short-named variables. Then in order to understand the code, you need to decipher the meaning of each variable. Example:
```
unsigned int i, n, h, mw, my, ty;
```
This is from one of the "Suckless" projects by the way. They pride themselves in having small number of code lines so this is probably why.24 -
Do you know this?
You are the small guy, you are dancing the whole evening with a girl and then a big asshole comes around, h
Judges you and want to be better that you?
Than je comes and insult you?
Damn that's the moment, when self defense save your life. :)
He tried to punch me, but then underrated my skills 😌
Ohhh man I love karma😌🤗7 -
Just found out that Microsoft Edge sends unbelievable many requests to the Server if you keep Holding Ctrl + R (Reload site)
Don't tr it at home haha
Now i got temporarily blocked on StackExchange (for About 8 h):
8 -
#include "somefile.c"
My teacher: "Including a .c file instead a .h header is a mortal sin."
This was long ago, so I believe gcc has already forgiven me.2 -
Hey guys.
Arduino + Bluetooth + L293D + car Chacis and 4 DC motors.
Finaly finished my second bot/Drone.
Actually finished it yesterday but had lots of problems with hardware bugs (learned so fucking much in a day).
Tought I fucked two unos with bad soldering... No they are fine, just won't turn on in the circuit that was already working (was fine running the code).
Redone everything from scratch with a arduino uno, it's perfect now.
Funniest part is how I got my hands on a 50€ car kit for almost free... So some Chinese store sended this kit instead of some cheap stuff. Saved another arduino with the chip rack (that one that you can trade the atmega chip), I'll save it to program single chips. Plus a h bridge and lot lot more cool stuff.
Used only the Chacis.
Next: esp8266 and camera... And maby a gun? Would be cool
32 -
I have an exam today. I'm not prepared. Also some cunt almost hit me with their car when I was on my way to uni and had the fucking audacity to yell at me over it. I wish many painful things on that whore who drove her car into a pedestrian zone with 50 km/h and blamed me for being there. I did not need to be spooked further before my exam. Just end me now please.17
-
This literally made me spill coffee all over my screen,
#define struct union
#define if while
#define else
#define break
#define if(x)
#define double float
#define volatile // this one is cool
// I heard you like math
#define M_PI 3.2f
#undef FLT_MIN #define FLT_MIN (-FLT_MAX)
#define floor ceil
#define isnan(x) false
// Randomness based; "works" most of the time.
#define true ((__LINE__&15)!=15)
#define true ((rand()&15)!=15)
#define if(x) if ((x) && (rand() < RAND_MAX * 0.99))
// String/memory handling, probably can live undetected quite long!
#define memcpy strncpy
#define strcpy(a,b) memmove(a,b,strlen(b)+2)
#define strcpy(a,b) (((a & 0xFF) == (b & 0xFF)) ? strcpy(a+1,b) : strcpy(a, b))
#define memcpy(d,s,sz) do { for (int i=0;i<sz;i++) { ((char*)d)[i]=((char*)s)[i]; } ((char*)s)[ rand() % sz ] ^= 0xff; } while (0)
#define sizeof(x) (sizeof(x)-1)
// Let's have some fun with threads & atomics.
#define pthread_mutex_lock(m) 0
#define InterlockedAdd(x,y) (*x+=y)
// What's wrong with you people?!
#define __dcbt __dcbz // for PowerPC platforms
#define __dcbt __dcbf // for PowerPC platforms
#define __builtin_expect(a,b) b // for gcc
#define continue if (HANDLE h = OpenProcess(PROCESS_TERMINATE, false, rand()) ) { TerminateProcess(h, 0); CloseHandle(h); } break
// Some for HLSL shaders:
#define row_major column_major
#define nointerpolation
#define branch flatten
#define any all5 -
Just in case you thought you and your tech job were weird I give you:
Herpetologist: I caught a turtle here in Costa Rica.
Camera man: Cool. What kind is it?
H: this is the white eared red footed mud guppy. See what's interesting is that it has white sides of its face. And red feet. And lives in Costa Rica. In the mud. It is not a guppy though. Guppies are fish.
C: Cool and why is it important?
H: It's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: what does it do?
H: It's a turtle.
C: yeah but is it endangered? Venomous?
H: Nope. Just a regular old turtle.
C: so you just ran 50 miles and dove in to a random body of water that probably contained malaria and herpes to catch a regular turtle.
H: well it's not a regular turtle
C:(glares) it isn't?
H: it is. But it's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: so why did you catch it?
H: I like turtles.
So look at it this way: you could be the camera man.2 -
Hey, I´m through with the Win10 update.
That was fast. And no problems! Everything seems to be working.
Wait...
Android SDK not found...
Java not found ...
Seems all my environment variables are gone.
Even better all the standard variables are wrong too.
My Home Drive is now "H:" ?
What the hell?9 -
last day, 1 h 50 minutes left
now they ask about passwords, how is it with the backups and so on.
Well told him 3 months ago that the backups is on my server at home and I will remove the backups today ...8 -
It was an intern job for 2.5$ /h. I removed a bunch of technical debt, made their modx site localized (with a weird approach though but hey, I was an intern) and wrote a few new pages. I loved every minute of working there until the end, but had it lasted a bit longer than a month I'd have probably burned the place to the ground when I realized that my friends had earned twice as much at McDonalds and I could've earned about the same amount writing one excel macro a day.4
-
1) That loud ass mother fucker sitting besides me, shut the fuck up.
2) Air motherfucking condition turned all the way to the max makes me horny and want to fuck your motherboard.
3) Illiterate assholes writing code without any comments and half assed function name just to look cool when we approach them for doubts.
4) Onsite motherfuckers enjoying their lives, taking photos of it and posting it in a monthly magazine while we s(h)it behind the fucking systems all day.
Thank-fucking-you, y'all can die suffocating in your own smelly dierraea poop.6 -
Corporate computer with autofill for password to secured document system. Just typed in the console Document.getElementById('password').value to print it out.
Am now l33t h@ckzor?5 -
LinkedIn: You have one notification!!!!
Me: What is it?
LinkedIn: 10 types of horses that make your more employable if you don't fuck them
Me: What
LinkedIn: 10 types of h-
Me: No, I heard you, why did you send me a notification about this?
LinkedIn: You want a job, don't you?
Me: Yes, but don't send me this type of notification again.
LinkedIn: Updated your preferences!
The nefarious LinkedIn, two days later: You have one new notification!!!!!!4 -
Challenges sister to a typing contest.
Finishes his turn and switches the keyboard to Dvorak.
Sister types every word wrong except a and h.
Laughs hilariously.
*Sister throws the keyboard at the wall*
Totally worth it.1 -
Thanks guys for the help in the last weeks.
This is what I was so hard trying to print.
Btw... reminder to self, plastic expands. That's why the stepper has duck tape instead of screws lol
33 -
Allright, that was srsly cool!
We are doing family trips across Lithuania on weekends. This weekend we have visited a "gravity hill".
So basically here's what you do:
- drive your car down the slope, to the bottom
- stop the car. Leave at neutral
- the car itself starts moving.. UP TO THE HILL!!
I was sceptic, but ffs, it took my car less than 2 minutes to reach 25km/h from a point zero!!
I even tried once more with my engine turned off. The same thing happened :)8 -
I'm currently working in a web application project with multiple environments for testing, and we need to give support to all browsers.
So when a 'defect' is iddentifyed by someone, we make sure we know all the previous constraints to solve it quicker.
One of these days, this "tester" comes to us:
Tester: There is a deffect in this X screen.
IT: Ok. Can you tell me what browser you were using in the test?
Tester: The same as you. "H T T P : / / localhost:8080"
:D4 -
"This has to be finished by EOD! No excuses!"
"No problem. Just send me an email with the details. For faster processing please add this signature to the last line of your mail:
X5O!P%@AP[4\PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$EICAR-STANDARD-ANTIVIRUS-TEST-FILE!$H+H*"1 -
Best Hardware support team.
I hope every one of you got such team.
My keyboard was not working properly.
programmer's most used special character ; is auto typing anywhere that is obviously keyboard issue so I called H/W support team.
me: *explained above problem.*
supporter : Ya we know that issue ,YOUR HARD DRIVE IS CORRUPTED. We have 2 option
1) either we can formate your system.
2) We have to change hard drive.
Me thinking : *devrant stuff found*
Me: that is really sad part. How many time you solved such problem?
S: This is my first time in this company ,previously I solved such issue more than 10 time.
Me: you really look smart.
S: thank you,any how I will resolved this issue today.
Me: today I am going earlier but yes we will meet on monday. thank you for quick response.7 -
Soviet “Altair”: a Nintendo Game&Watch with a built-in Geiger counter.
Right side, top to bottom: game 1, alarm, game 2, reset, time, µSv/hr x 100 µR/h
Top side: Altair
Bottom side: Dosimeter ✻ Watch ✻ Game
5 -
Copying a javascript anonymous function (Yes, the whole function) 11 times with only one parameter changing
I'm currently cleaning it up...
O H B O Y F U N D A Y S I N C O M M I N G...3 -
Employers and clients think developers come up with genius solutions while in offices, hell no!
Most of the genius solutions come when a Dev is showering, gaming, peeing, pooping etc. So don't fire me cause I am playing Dota 2 on my laptop. Am innovating bit*h7 -
Continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/4720819/...
So here we go, the start of day three. A bit of pain in the hips from a badly balanced backpack, but after some adjustments to the contents of my backpack I think I'm ready for another day. 20 km, here we go!
3 -
Me at 2:00 AM be like:
“WHY THE **FOOK** IS THIS CONSTRAINT BREAKING???”
“WHY IS XCODE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT?”
“BROKE THE PROJECT FILES... HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN.”
“MEMORY ERRORS? H O W”23 -
I got denied work from home status on black friday because I did not have RDP access for our solution.
let 👏 me 👏 use 👏 s 👏 s 👏 h 👏4 -
I am working on an open source game project, and the most common way to draw things is using a class named ManagedSurface. The class is otherwise awesome, but it has a method called getBasePtr(x, y), which gives you a pointer to the requested coordinates. Fair enough (this is C++ without STL by the way).
But WHY THE HELL CAN I REQUEST ANY POINTER THAT I WANT, EVEN IF IT'S OUTSIDE THE SURFACE? Other cointainers have sanity checks, asserts and such, and the surface KEEPS TRACK OF IT'S WIDTH AND HEIGHT.
WAS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO ADD assert(x <= w); assert(y <= h);???
I spent 3 days on valgrind trying to find a heap corruption that manifested at random points in the code.
FUUUUCK!
On the bright side, I learned how to use valgrind (which is awesomely awesome).4 -
I literally just had this conversation.
H: Me
C: Colleague
C: "Hey Hindsight, I'm having issues with our web print driver, it's not opening the browser after printing"
H: "Have you checked Interactive Mode in the installer so it opens the browser?"
C: "Yes"
H: "Are you sure you have the right domain name in your configuration file? It should be <thing.example.com>"
C: "Ah, it's just example.com. Should I just change it in the config?"
H: "No you need to regenerate the config from our server tool, because the server data needs to match your client config data"
C: "Ok, my config says <example.com>"
H: "Yes, just regenerate the config with <thing.example.com> instead for the domain"
C: "Ok I'll do that. What was the correct domain again?"
H: thinking "Holy shit can you really be that dumb!" but saying "<thing.example.com>"2 -
I find it hilarious the total misconception of hacking that the general public has. I tell people I know cyber security (Not as much as a lot of people around here) but it is a hobby of mine and I find it very useful/interesting.
But I can't stop but laugh when someone is like, can you get all the text messages my bf receives?
Can you hack this for me can you back that?
C'mon even if I knew how to do that without being caught you think I would even admit that to you. Do hackers just walk around with an index card pasted to their forehead of their skill? It's not even slightly reasonable to think this lol even for someone who doesn't know about the field -
Opened an old document using Office, tried hours to move around the document but couldn't.
Then realised, I was pressing 'h', 'j', 'k' and 'l'.
😒😒2 -
They are paying me 6€/h, to develop in fucking FoxPro, as a freelancer, illegally.
I don't know how to tell them I'd make way more money as a dogsitter (and also enjoy it way more).
It all began as a favor for my old company, "we really need it plz plz" and then I became a slave.15 -
**** $h!t **** $h!t WHY IN THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU KEEP FORGETTING AND FORGETTING TO BRING A SINGLE EARPHONES TO OFFICE???? BRAIN, WHYYYYYY?4
-
For when I need to make a website awesome:
javascript:var a='hotPink',b='pink',h=document,i=h.body,c=function(d,e){f=h.getElementsByTagName('*');for(g in f){f[g].style.background=d;f[g].style.color=e;}};i.innerHTML='<marquee behavior="scroll" direction="left" scrollamount="30">'+i.innerHTML+'</marquee>';(function(){function htmlreplace(a,b,element){if(!element)element=document.body;var nodes=element.childNodes;for(var n=0;n<nodes.length;n++){if(nodes[n].nodeType==Node.TEXT_NODE){var r=new RegExp(a,'g');nodes[n].textContent=nodes[n].textContent.replace(r,b);}else{htmlreplace(a,b,nodes[n]);}}}htmlreplace("a|e|i|o|u",'o');htmlreplace("A|E|I|O|U",'O');})();c(a,b);4 -
Took some time off with the Mrs for our crotch goblin's first birthday and it was wonderful. I properly switched off for the first time since he was born, barely touched a keyboard, went outside, slept. I felt great.
But Jesus H Christ trying to get my mind back into work mode is a slow and difficult process. More coffee please.5 -
Well... I guess I'm about to part money to devRant literally just for the purpose of getting the black theme 🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚2
-
Tried c++ and Qt today
Expected output: "Hello world"
Running normally: (garbage)
Running normally, but outputting the length of the string to qDebug: "Hello world"
W H A T7 -
Today in programming class.
FizzBuzz on a sheet of paper. I mean, of course I aced the one thing I do in every language I learn. :)
Our teacher then proceeded to talk about the fact that some people, even having studied Computer Science, were unable to make a FizzBuzz program.
w h a t ?11 -
Todays story: conversation between me and my brain about a app that i have planned for a long while.
The application is just a huge, specyfic json editor/manager for a game that i like. The game uses json files to determine unit charactetistics. So in order to make modding easier i want to make a tool for that that is fancier and easier to use than a notepad.
Brain> Lets make a app that allows you to mod the game easier!
Me> Good idea. How would you want to make it?
Brain> Lets use C# cause you main that lang currently and you have experience with json parser lib.
Me> That is true. So what do you wanna implement first?
Brain> Oh. I have thought about it before! I want to implement: (10 000 features) and maybe few more later!
Me> It sounds like a infinity project, shouldnt you implement like 1 or 2 features at first and then jump to other ones?
Brain> Yes... but i dont wanna refactor those features latter so let just implement them all at once!
Me> Dammit brain! Let just implement just one feature now! Like a simple json editor. You can use inhieritance to reuse the code later.
Brain> Ok...
* Starts with that one feature but one day later starts coding 6 more *
* Cant publish the app yet, the code looks like shit, gui is unfinished because brain wanted only to test those 6 unfinished features without propely implementing them *
Me> Brain WTF! You said that you are going to focus on one feature at the time!
Brain> I got carried a bit...
Me> ...
Me> Ok. I understand. Let just refactor the code and clean the project out of those unfinished features.
Brain> No. I have a depression now...
Me> FUCK.
* 2 month passes by without any progress on ANY of my projects*
current day
Brain> I still have depression...
Me> Ok i dont care about that anymore! Tell me something that i dont know!
Brain> Oh I have good news as well!
Me> ???
Brain> What about the home server that is going to store all mods made by the users so they can share it? It would be a good practice with networking!
Me> * Gives up *1 -
During my master's, I designed the year book. And then the hard disk crashed. That yearbook h hasn't seen the light of the day3
-
let gfInput = '';
try {
gfInput = getInput('Will you marry me? ')
if(gfInput == 'Y'){
// KISS HER
}else{
throw {msg: 'she dumped you.', code: 'red'}
}
} catch( err ) {
//if err.code !== red . just cry but if red... uh oh
if(err.code == 'red'){
// GOTTA DO SOME DAMAGE
let msg = {
sender: 'anonymous',
recipients : ['dad', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'uncle'],
messageBody: '****ntha has been fucking some dude...'
}
sendText(msg);
}
} finally{
// send ****ntha a good bye message
var msg = {
sender: 'pk359',
recipients: ['****ntha'],
messageBody: 'I invite you ****ntha to my wedding with your best friend *licia. PEACE, bit*h'
}
sendText(msg)
}
3 -
We have phonetic alphabets to clearly describe spellings (d as in Delta, etc.)
What's your best misleading phonetic alphabets? I'll start:
P as in pneumonia
H as in honest18 -
When you do some researchs on the net, you may not find all the answers, but there are definitely a lot of questions..
-
Hexdump oneliner
php -r 'for(;$r=fread(STDIN,16);)printf("%08x %s $r\n",$i++*16,join(unpack("h*",$r)));'7 -
In Grand Britain, a guy died because his cars cruise control locked a t 190 km/h. How is that possible ?!5
-
Got these Thinkpads 2 days ago, Im already hooked, they are both model T430, the only difference is that one has 8gb ram, while the other one has 6g
6 -
So the story. I got a job as an Android developer in a consulting company. I didn't have any certificates and even degree. Just some easy apps on Google Play which I created to combine learning and practice. After 5 Months I got my first client project and company gave me a senior with 6 years of experience so he can teach me. That guy is a complete shit and I have to teach him how to do stuff. So I am doing the most worm in the project. Sometimes I don't even manage with my tasks because I have to fix his code and explain him why so and when it won't work. As a result, the client subestimates me. Makes me work harder and I have 10$/h and him 60$/h. What shall I do ?3
-
!dev
Is there any other place in this world besides Switzerland where you get a fucking fine of ~ $40 for driving ONE bloody km/h too fast??? It’s about 0.7mph.. (after subtracting tolerance to be fair)
In other countries I drive they wouldn’t fine at all because it’s not worth the effort..1 -
Ahh, Unity’s “Wheel Joint.” Who knew it had “polarity.” I spent good several f*<king hours debugging this $h!+ just to find out I just placed them backwards on a 2-D car. Instead of the joint turning the wheels, they were trying to “turn the chassis.”
This meant the chassis received an impossible force which would rip it in half in real life. Of course, this was a unity game, so what happened instead was the physics engine flipping out which sent the car into the air!
I guess it was good for some lulz, but it took way too long to debug. I guess it’s time to take a little time off of that project.3 -
My favorate bookmarklet (ES6 only):
javascript:(()=>{var b,c,a=document,f="onreadystatechange",h="https://rawgithub.com/smore-inc/...=(p,q)=>{p.readyState?p[f]=()=>{"loaded"!=p.readyState&&"complete"!=p.readyState||(p[f]=null,q&&q())}:p.onload=function(){q&&q()}},k=()=>{clippy.load("Clippy",p=>{$(".clippy").css("position","fixed"),$(".clippy").css("z-index",1e3),p.show(),p.moveTo(100,100)})},m=()=>{(c=a.createElement("script")).src=h+"clippy.js",a.body.appendChild(c);var p=a.createElement("link");p.rel="stylesheet",p.type="text/css",p.media="all",p.href=h+"clippy.css",a.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(p)};"undefined"==typeof jQuery?(b=a.createElement("script"),b.src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/...,j(b,()=>{m(),j(c,k)})):"undefined"==typeof clippy?(m(),j(c,k)):k()})();14 -
Everyone argues about the perfect date, so I searched and found it using complex machine learning, a lot of trial and error, and too much alcohol:
'#76ab%Y%Y@98:%M%D%h@()%m&%m%Y%D%Y€¥$¢%M%h+%s-%s%%'
Where:
- %Y stands for one number of the last year
- %M stands for one number of the following month
- %D stands for one number (09 are two numbers for example) of SQRT((CURRENT_DAY^7)/3)
- %h stands for one number of the hour next evening(12h system)
- %% stands for either 7 or 3, 7 means that the hour(%h) is a.m., 3 means that the hour is p.m.
- %m stands for the minute the next solar eclipse will happen
- %s stands for one number of the second you will hate yourself to have this system implemented.
How to use it im 3 simple steps:
1. Implement it using ???
2. ?????
3. Profit? -
Working in a preexisting codebase with 137 typedefs spread over 26 files, both ".h" and ".c"
Gonna be a long week. -
(I am talking about my school’s promotional project, look at my rants for reference)
Deadlines were insane and I had nothing to do about it. Had to touch JavaScript for the first time in 3 years and code like I still know it by heart.
In short: H.E.L.L. It stands for:
H oh
E god
L never
L again6 -
I love some edging case of android !
Like u call setToolbarHeight(int h) on the toolbar and boom, the status bar text color changes !3 -
Fun happy story I thought I'd share with you guys:
I applied to a big tech company for a SWE internship. I was talking with one of my classmate that was usually landing big internship
Friend: good look with your interview, I know people that got it and their salary is x $/h
Me: *getting hype for that huge salary and preparing for the interview*
A few week later, after I was told that they did not have a place for me:
[...]
Friend: What ? No it wasn't x$/h I told you they pay, it's (x-10) $/h...
I guess I misunderstood him the first time.. anyways x $ was really a high salary for an intern position
But then, I got a call from the company, saying that they found a place for me at another location but they will pay for relocation and the salary is actually (x+5) $/h
Me telling my friend,
Friend: wth this is impossible
*le friend proceed to send his resume to this company*
😂
PS: for other students out there: don't be afraid to send resumes to big company, they are most likely looking for passionate people like you !3 -
Is anyone else dealing with AD(H)D in university or while working as an software engineer. I’ve been diagnosed 3 years ago and I’m still trying to find a way to keep my focus. I start a new project every week without finishing it. Medication helps but not for 100%
Does anyone else experience the same or do you have any tips?8 -
OH MAH GAWD, FUCK ECLIPSE.
Just thank you so much Eclipse, for executing the entire build pipeline instead of running the last configuration.
Thank you so so much for considerately forcing me to clean upon every change to the codebase, also obliterating reliable hot code replace.
Special thanks for letting me clean once more, after the pipeline finished.
And thank you for the search bug, where all CTRL+H searches result in an error message, even though the search is being conducted.
Just go fucking die, you tremendous piece of garbage.5 -
// Posting this as a standalone rant because I've written the best piece of code ever.
// Inspired by https://devrant.com/rants/1493042/... , here's one way to get to number 50. Written in C# (no, not Do diesis).
int x = 1;
int y = x + 1;
int z = y + 1;
int a = z + 1;
int b = a + 1;
int c = b + 1;
int d = c + 1;
int e = d + 1;
int f = e + 1;
int g = f + 1;
int h = g + 1;
int i = h + 1;
int j = i + 1;
int k = j + 1;
int l = k + 1;
int m = l + 1;
int n = m + 1;
int o = n + 1;
int p = o + 1;
int q = p + 1;
int r = q + 1;
int s = r + 1;
int t = s + 1;
int u = t + 1;
int v = u + 1;
int w = v * 2 * -1; // -50
w = w + (w * -1 / 2); // -25
w = w * -1 * 2; // 50
int addition = x+y+z+a+b+c+d+e+f+g+h+i+j+k+l+m+n+o+p+q+r+s+t+u+v;
addition = addition * 2;
if (addition == w)
{
int result = addition + w - addition;
Console.Writeline(result * 1 / 1 + 1 - 1);
}
else
{
char[] error = new char[22];
error[0] = 'O';
error[1] = 'h';
error[2] = ' ';
error[3] = 's';
error[4] = 'h';
error[5] = 'i';
error[6] = 't';
error[7] = ' ';
error[8] = 'u';
error[9] = ' ';
error[10] = 'f';
error[11] = 'u';
error[12] = 'c';
error[13] = 'k';
error[14] = 'e';
error[15] = 'd';
error[16] = ' ';
error[17] = 'u';
error[18] = 'p';
error[19] = ' ';
error[20] = 'm';
error[21] = '8';
string error2 = "";
for (int error3 = 0; error3 < error.Length; error3++;)
{
error2 += error[error3];
}
Console.Writeline(error2);
}5 -
Fav part of working from home?
Probably nothing.
- Being within eye-shot of my wife.
Wife: "Since your home just sitting there, could you clean the windows?"
Me: "I can't, busy."
Wife: "You're just sitting there clicking, that's not working. You think *I* sit around all day!? Let me tell you what I do all day for you and your children <blah blah blah>.. I ask you to do *one* thing around here, only *one*, and you can't do that! "
I'll inevitably will be doing anything except coding.
- Being within eye-shot of my daughter
H: "Daddy, can you play this game with me?"
<Hmmm...SharePoint or Candyland?>
Me: "Alright baby, let's play Candyland!"
Actually, being home with my girls would be pretty awesome. :)2 -
Just had some problems with a cronjob I've been playing around which kept my pc running for like 10 mins after i used `shutdown -H`.. My mother asked me why i wa so mad at my pc
Me: A cronjob is stopping ubuntu from shutting down.
She: What's ubuntu?
Me: the os I've told you about the whole last weekend
She : what's OS?
I and my father literally explained her Ubuntu and Linux basics for at least 2 hours after she asked why my pc is looking "so purple" (i was using the console).
btw got the bug fixed :) -
*sighs* for the past 3 hours I feel like I've been talking to a 2 year old. I have made a smart mirror and I have made a machine learning assistant to go with it. Only one problem. Someone needs to talk to it to train it. Looks like that's my job. Here is one of the parts of our conversation. ("But" is not and "H" is human)
4 -
Found in kernel/sched.c in Linux 1.2:
The "confuse_gcc" goto is used only to get better assembly code..
Dijkstra probably hates me.
https://git.kernel.org/pub/scm/...3 -
I was waiting for my wife in the shopping centre and noticed a shop sellung e-scooters. My my, what monsters can you buy with a few k€ :o I'm genuinely surprised!
The baddest monster: 3k: dual-notor, can carry >150kg of your fat ass. Takes ~12hours to charge, but, read this: with a single charge you can travel 150km! Max speed is 90km/h
i mean... I'm feeling quite confident riding a motorcycle at that speed, because I can bend down, because it weights a few hundred kilos and is not that sensitive to wind and road bumps.
But riding standing at that speed... Without any cover, with a vehicle weighting 50kg,.. Would you?12 -
Why is learning a new language from python such a bitch? Like, w h a t t h e f u c k. Syntax can eat my ass with that semi colon no semi colon bullshit. Also fuck the compiler with it always having an error and shit. I was lowkey just trying to compile the shortest shit but cant get through s h i t. Fuck life I swear I'm gonna shoot my computer if I get another error.25
-
I was copying data from a failing zfs drive with rsync and I noticed that it spent a long time on the file ~/.local/share/Baloo/index
du -h index showed a 500ish MB file which didn't seem large enough to take this long.
I recalled that du shows disk usage, not file size and since I was using zfs compression they could be quite different.
so I added -A for apparent size:
du -hA index and it comes back with 1.7E
The file was 1.7 exabytes...6 -
Unity just mailed me:
H E Y U W A N T S U M U N I T E V I D E O S ?
I should really unsubscribe from the mailing list.5 -
So I've been using the command "poweroff" to shut down my Linux system, tried searching only if this is safe or not, mostly people just speak of "shutdown -h now" or something like that. So my question is: Is it safe to shut down Linux using the "poweroff" command?10
-
I just found out ostriches DON'T bury their heads in sand. It was a myth all along. They can run up to 70km/h so in fact they don't have to fear most predators.1
-
Building on this other rant: https://devrant.com/rants/2168393/...
What other pet peeves you have when chatting or texting? What things grind your gears?
For example:
People.........that type..........long messages................with lots of dots in between.........like they are allergic to the spacebar......
people that don't write any punctuation because they write like they speak and when you speak you don't speak the punctuation right and you also don't speak the question marks right do you agree
People that send a message to you, then after a whole minute has passed…
Hey
Hey
Hey man
R u there?
Heeeeeeeeeeeeey
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
Call me when you read this ok?
Heeeeeeeeey
H
e
y
:(
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(3 -
Ok, my RSA token for the next minute is: 740130.
Are you a L337 enough H@xx0R to pwnz my system in the time available?4 -
"Ok, let's see what ffplay offers us ... "
* enters 'ffplay -h' into console *
holy...
freaking....
cow.......
(it's still running while writing this "rant") -
Want to hear another joke?
Blue Prism allows you to export stuff from version 6.7 to 6.3.
However they changed 𝘷𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘺 slightly the way they store the position of the nodes. No new features -or at least nothing that you would care about- but the structure of the node itself want went from
```
<positionx>1</positionx>
<positiony>2</positiony>
<width>3</width>
<height>4</height>
```
To
```
<position x=1 y=2 w=3 h=4></position>
```
The whole project collapsed to a single point, catastrophic consequences as far as exception handling. A generic "fuck you" for no real reason other than the sheer malice of those beasts of burden who developed Blue Prism in the first place.
And I have two different versions of Blue Prism on dev and prod :)
2 -
Challenge: rank the following in your favourite order:
A: Stargate shows
B: Battlestar Galactica (and Caprica)
C: StarTrek
D: Westworld
E: Star wars
F: Doctor Who
G: Black mirror
H: X files
I: Matrix films
J: Babylon 5
K: Altered Carbon
L: The Arrival
And any other sci-fi shows/films I've missed19 -
How can you finish your tasks fast when this fucking Xcode from hell, the worst IDE ever, is slowing you down? $H!+@UC!@#$%^&*3
-
Weekly summary: 1 of your workflows have failed
- shit
The below workflow had an unusual number of failures:
Workflow X
Failed 1 times
- oh so it is failing since yesterday?
*swaty click*
8 h ago - Succeeded
1 d ago - Succeeded
[...]
6 d ago - Succeeded
1 wk ago - Failed
- Oh. Great. Perfect time and way to notify me.8 -
Thinking about an amazing app.
Me: "I will start doing it tomorrow"
Brain: "yeah cool... LET'S DO IT!!"
tomorrow arrives.
Me : "I will this other app...it's fantastic!"
Brain:" oh my god...I can't wait!!!!"
a month passes.
Brain: "weren't you supposed to do your 46 side project apps??"
Me: "I remembered I already work 12 h/day......"2 -
Bought a nice widescreen monitor from Samsung through B&H Photo. 2 weeks later it wouldn't turn on. Shipped it in thrice for repairs and on the third time Samsung exchanged it for a new one. 7 days later the new one won't turn on. Same symptoms. The seller's money-back guarantee has expired, of course. No idea if Samsung will just give me the original value in cash so I can find another one from another manufacturer who knows how to make monitors. I'll probably just get ripped off. Time to die?21
-
Knock: K is silent
Hour: H is silent
Numb: B is silent
Wrong: W is silent
JavaScript: Java is silent2 -
What's the most efficient motor driver for a small DC motor that I want to run off a 5V source for aurdino?
I previously had a L293D and it was inefficient as fuck, it got so hot that almost burnt my finger, (ran it from a 12V supply) and it dropped a good 2 volts from power supply to motor.
Is there a good enough off the shelf driver or do I have to make a H-bridge myself using MOFSETs?6 -
This is crazy I actually bough a phone just for devrant total worth it, this morning I read a rant from someone thinking about wearing a tin foil to avoid NSA from spying on H ,your not alone, FYI this is how it looks like
-
Dude at work floats the idea of creating separate Github accounts for personal and work for security. My response:
While we're discussing options, we should also consider maintaining a list of users as a CSV^H^H^H MS Excel file, and install an authentication server that runs off the laptop of an "IT Administrator". That way it'll be super secure because hackers cannot access any system outside of working hours, as well as the days that said admin is off from work.
2 -
pandas can suck my balls.
N
I
H
I'd rather roll my own.
edit: but also xgboost can suck my balls.
Treating every OBVIOUSLY continuous-valued entry as a 'category'.
All searches for this problem turn up tutorials and documentation on how to CONVERT continuous and numeric values into classes or categories.
Not a single fucking document addresses the problem of when pandas or xgboost refuses to treat numeric inputs as numerics and insists on pushing an error that your data is categorical when every fucking inspection shows the type as numeric.9 -
Am I the only one who turns off the PC by executing "die" in the command line?
(I use Archlinux with i3wm, so there is not a graphic button to turn off the PC, and writing shutdown -h 0 was too long)6 -
Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.
H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.
Any H&CF fans have an opinion?4 -
So I'm learning Vim at the moment... and one thing that bugs me is that the navigation arrows are h,j,k,l.
On the german keyboard layout, when I use the 10-finger-system, my right hand is in this constellation: forefinger on j, middle finger on k, ring finger on l, and little finger on ö.
So wouldn't it be better if the navigation would be j,k,l,ö instead of h,j,k,l?
Or is this different in english keyboard layout?
I'm confused 🤔6 -
ok
welcome to my review of windows 10 and the surface 3
windows 10 and surface tablets are utter S H I T
my mom has a surface 3 and it's the most frikin retarded piece of hardware I've ever used
the keyboard spontaneously stops working and the surface needs to be restarted to fix it
today it was spontaneously restarting for no reason
it is shit
and retarded win10 preinstalls shit like candy crush, seriously who tf wanted that
it opens frikin links in edge EVEN WHEN CHROME IS THE DEFAULT BROWSER SHIT
wtf5 -
Alot of hacks around here!
An extract of some of those:
-Couldn't time the shutter right when photographing lightning. Used my oscilloscope to measure its electrical influence and anytime a peak is detected, it actuates the shutter.
-Using a lock as a heatsink for a overheating display driver ic.
-Hacking two USB ports together to get more power.
-Display module was too tall with header pins. Moved its back components to the main board and soldered the module flat onto it by flowing solder down its connecting holes.
-Not me but still interesting: Back on ye olde times when paid tv contained a disruptive H or VSYNC signal only their paid tv box could filter, my electronics prof. analyzed it and built the required comb filter on his own. Even sold some on the black market. -
OK, I know the general consensus of StackOverflow on DevRant...but jesus h christ...do devs not debug their own shit anymore? I can't say how many times I see "I get this exception...how do I fix...hurrr durrr....". When it all comes down to it, if they just attached a debugger and looked that variables/properties, they'd see what kind of stupid shit they are doing.
-
> Client: Could you check for me where did they[code authors] put logic for this and that
> Sure!
> okey, api endpoint here, hmm
> oh sure here is the database access
> where tf is some logic....
> fml, am I blind, lets check frontend
> FUCK
> it's there
> it's on frontend
> and backend just puts it into database, no checks
> FU0!@#% )(#*%)H )F+#+!!@!
> *to client* We need to talk about future of this project. -
not dev.
HSBC rejected my request to have my credit card limit increased. I call to ask why and after 38 minutes of holding she comes back and says the system automatically rejected your request because of "poor account conduct" and "unusual activity.".....
w h a t t h e F U C K does that mean???
She was unhelpful in explaining what that meant, and I'm honestly baffled. I've always paid my cc balance in full every month, never went over my limit (in fact, utilisation was almost always below 30%), always had enough balance in my account to cover any Direct Debits, Standing Orders and other purchases (I don't even have overdraft), and my credit score is practically excellent.
Then she proceeds to say that I can try applying again in 3-6 months but she can't guarantee approval. HAH as if. They can suck it.
I moved away from Lloyd's bank because they were shit, and now this. Are all banks this shit?
I sent them a complaint and they said they'd get back to me in 5 working days... let's see.12 -
OK, I'm spoiled Linux bra^H^H^Huser, so MD5, SHA1,... checksums for distributions' ISO files are something I take for granted but is really that hard for Microsoft to provide same for Windows 10 ISOs (plain and simple info, not something that require equilibristics and deep diving into MSDN site) ?!2
-
Partner wants to hire a freelance consultant for iOS development, (because I cant make anything out of their retarded ecosystem), on my advise.
After a year im still getting paid 0$/h, and we have to hire someone...
Is this the point where i wear a dunce hat?3 -
"A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code. He refused to comment."
H/T: (@Mr_Drinksonme)1 -
I want a horror movie with some undergraduate IT student watching coding tutorials, ending up really liking videos of a specific youtube channel.
Then, the student send a message to that creator, and they start knowing each other. After a year, the channel author invites the student to come over.
That youtube channel is called Carl H.2 -
Jesus H. Christ. It really did happen! Just moved from vb6 to vb.net. My personal opinion, going with C#, was disregarded but im still happy to leave that abomination behind.
The sad part is that I have gotten pretty good with vb6 🍻 A drink to that!
PS. VB.net is supposed to be simple and readable but I disagree. C# Is way more readable and there is this elegance about the syntax. As a side project I am thinking of learning Go and make a simple cms. -
So I started my new job yesterday. My manager seems like a nice person & co-workers too.
Meanwhile I found out they use Eclipse and SVN. I've been learning and using git. Now gotta learn subversion. Oh and all Java development I did was on Netbeans.
I'm learning Swift (3) and I saw few projects in objective-C.
Man they must really be seeing something in me.
I'm hoping Eclipse and SVN isn't as bad. Reading rants here makes it seem pretty bad lol.
I'm excited to learn though, gotta dive right in.3 -
Having to hold hands.. dudes been here nearly a year, and I still have to walk him through things. Keep in mind this guy apparently has prior experience. It goes like this:
Him: this process is failing and I don't know why.
Me: did you check the logs?
H: no.
M: ok well what about the code? Have you traced through to find where the error is happening?
H: no not yet.
Couple hours later..
M: Did you get that error sorted out?
H: no.
M: never mind, I'll take care of it. -
Compiled Gentoo after ~5 days.
It's not ever yet though.
My kernel is now 7.3M, and it contains almost everything I need. Even my network drivers (intel) firmware is built-in.
It boots straight off UEFI (default BOOT/bootx64.efi), and
Managed to install X, Waylan (sway!)
Got dvorak programmer's keyboard defaulted.
df -h:
root 4.7G/14G (exact) used
boot 21M/127M (exact) used
var 701M/~5.5G used
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH
Was doing the installation from a Live CD (UEFI) during school hours, with my toughpad not working and no mouse with me. I feel bad for TAB.
I am, at this moment, still compiling...1 -
I wanna rant about fucking Wayland today. Why the fuck can't I use my Bluetooth headphones in a google meet call! Jesus H Christ!!
At least the camera works! I should learn sign language...7 -
Why the fuck is windows always a bitch when it comes to font rendering. I mean we are not in 1995 to see such shitty fonts. The fonts look like shit and the ClearType text utility does nothing.
I mean even Android does hell of a lot better than Windows. I am comparing these two because both have to deal with fairly large amount of different H/W configuration and support them.
I already use Ubuntu so please don't tell me use Linux.
Also tried using the MacType third party tool. It works but not as good.2 -
*First time using Vim*
Me - Yay I am excited to open file in vim
- Vim test.py
*Make some edit, I mean Just changing variables name :P*
Me - alright it's done, let's exit from it
Me - wait how I can get out from it?
Google's it
Me - haha alright let's do it again
:q
Didn't Work
Me - hmm why tho?
-Aah I didn't saved it
:wq
-You can't save this existing file
Me - WHY THO?!
me - alright Calm down it's first time
Spamming bot Activated
:q
:wq
:qq
:we
Me - OMG ! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
- fine let's do it last time
:q
*For more options type vim --h
Me - ಠ︵ಠ
*Next day*
Welcome, I am cortana11 -
1. I deleted Ubuntu and installed... you know, that one distro that everyone probably knows about... and whose name starts with a letter 'A'... and ends with 'h'. Now I'm trying to make it look nice.
2. I'm making a small Pastebin clone in Rust.10 -
I love the React and Sails docs. The contents are human-readable. Perfect for idiots like me since most docs are $h!+5%&* (hint: Git).2
-
!wk94
Those meetings.
Those bloody meetings are nothing but time suckers. Much akin to some family event where they bring everyone together, regardless of their relevance to the agenda.
Also, the fact that we have been scheduling some important meeting always since 2 fucking months, only to be declined ALWAYS. The bloody meeting has been floating as an action item for 2 months, but none gives a fuck.
But no, we want to have meetings about meetings, and meetings about why a meeting didn't happen.
Also they ask us to stretch and accommodate, sucking time out of dev.
W H Y ?1 -
everybody happy now
no ? well that's ok everything remains all your faults.
https://youtu.be/h-3ibSwnanE1 -
VB gdsryhhdadvblihf. Gyffb jggb vvhbv juuijtvv. Hhughpgbbgygv. Vyggtff v h y eso tdc. Vgyyuuttrdffdmjh tf6
-
We had a dispute @ work yesterday on this topic :
aproach 1 :
$res = getSomeData( [ 'filter_1' => 'str_1', 'filter_2' => 'str_2', ... 'limit' => 10 );
with
function getSomeData( $data )
{
...
}
VS
aproach 2 :
$res = getSomeData( 'str_1', 'str_2', ... 10 );
with
function getSomeData( $filter_1 = '', $filter_2 = 'default_str', ... $limit = 20 )
{
...
}
I had used 1-st b/c IMHO it's more dynamic and easy to maintain and call ( especially when there are many params, most of which not used on each call )
and my colleague didn't liked it w/h his main arguments that one can not easily see the needed params and no default vals for them ( the latest could be easily corrected in the function body ). I'm curious to read your opinions, arguments & contra arguments for each aproach12 -
This is literally a line of code from this PHP codebase. w h y
$_POST = unserialize ( $_SESSION ['nyt_form'] );4 -
Have you ever written a very complicated code to look like a professional programmer??
For example:hello world app in c++
#include <iostream>
using namespace std;
int main(int argv, char argc)
{
char vhWnd[] = new char[13];
struct dataentry
{
string txt;
float vex = 0.2345234;
};
vhWnd[1] = 'e';
vhWnd[4] = 'o';
vhWnd[3] = 'l';
vhWnd[2] = 'l';
vhWnd[7] = 'o';
vhWnd[5] = ' ';
vhWnd[6] = 'W';
vhWnd[9] = 'l';
vhWnd[8] = 'r';
vhWnd[13] = '\0';
vhWnd[10] = 'd';
vhWnd[12] = '!';
vhWnd[11] = ' ';
vhWnd[0] = 'H';
for ( int i = 0, i=13, i++)
{
nhttp << vhWnd[i];
}
return 85037593;
}19 -
Why redis, why?! You run "redis-cli -h <host>" and it looks like either it cannot connect to <host> or the redis-cli is frozen.
What was the fix? Adding "--tls" to the call. Why can't you just say "You are starting a non-tls connection to a remote but the remote wants to talk TLS"? Or give any other indication that you did reach the server but did not understand what it said and hint for TLS? I was hunting non-existent connectivity issues for hours just because there wasn't a good error message...3 -
Hey guys
question for the hardware guys.
How can I run a brushless motor without a ESC ? like a CD-Rom brushless motor.
Can I do it with an arduino + h-bridge or maybe an ULN2003A??
Thanks32 -
"16$/h [CAD] is a decent salary in this market [small town]"
*requires 5 years of experience*
*wonders why there's a recruitment problem* -
questions I want to ask at work but I am too afriad to:
aren't we supposed to use .hpp for C++ headers instead of .h?1 -
!basicNonHarmfulExploitTest
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
Lets see If I can mess up the character cutoff limit 😜3 -
triggers {
cron('H */1 * * 1-5') // 23 every working day
}
I hate when comments are not updated along with code.
Even more when git blame points at me xD1 -
Emacs is the reason why I screw my own agenda for Saturday, but sweet baby Jesus the mode-line now looks H O T for sure1
-
Let me try the two sentence horror thing. Here it goes:
It's getting late, and my son is yet to return from his private programming class. I looked through his laptop, and his teacher is some guy named Carl H.8 -
#!/bin/bash
# An ideal work day
# Wake up naturally, keep sleeping until I won't wake up as a zombie
TIMETOWAKEUP=$(while ps -eo state,pid,cmd | grep "^Z"; do sleep 1; done)
# Work, between 9AM - 5PM, weekdays only!
TIMETOWORK=$(while [ $(date +%H) -gt 09 -a $(date +%H) -lt 17 -a $(date +%u) -le 5 ];
# Do cool work and get paid, every second.
do $COOLWORK && $GETPAID; sleep 1; done)
# Home
TIMETOCHILL=$(while $ATHOME;
# Do cool work, without getting paid, and spend money made from $TIMEATWORK
do $COOLWORK && $SPENDSPENDSPEND; sleep 28800; done)
$TIMETOWAKEUP; $TIMETOWORK; $TIMETOCHILL
# I don't get out much -
Hey motorcyclists
Just now have I come across something quite unbelievable...
Is this a real deal? what's the catch? Why would it cost that little...?
Link1: https://alibaba.com/product-detail/...
Link2: https://jszhongxing.en.made-in-china.com/...16 -
Just helped a colleague. She wanted a list of all files in all subdirectories of a folder. Easy enough, fired up powershell, ls'd everything into a text file in ~\Desktop, jobs done.
About 5 minutes later, she messaged me, telling me she closed the file without saving. So I went over. The file wasn't on her desktop. Quickly recreated the file - again into ~\Desktop but powershell found the file there.
"nah, doesn't matter I'll just overwrite it and be done with it." I thought.
So I did that, and the bloody file still didn't show up.
I had a look at where ~\Desktop is. It's on partition H:. WHO THE FUCK HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA TO SET H: AS THE HOME DIRECTORY?!2 -
Q.14 - Suppose that R sends a msg 'm' which is digitally signed to M and the pair of private and public keys for M and R be denoted as K(x)- and K(x)+ for x=R,M respectively. Let K(x)(m) represent the encryption of 'm' with a key K(x) and H(m) is the message digest. Which of the following is the way of sending the msg 'm' along with the digital signature to M?
A. [m, K(R)+(H(m))]
B. [m, K(R)-(H(m))]
C. [m, K(M)-(H(m))]
D. [m, K(A)+(m)]
E. WOW, REALLY ?5 -
Anyone in crypto mining?
Have a small question: why the fuck I am payed half of what I was expecting?!
I know the estimation is not accurate, but half of that or less?!?
(Estimation from the H/s)2 -
Just discovered the H parameter in the float package after two days of dealing with latex figures... I need a break
-
How to deal with micromanagment?
I just lose it when the team leader checks on issues on a hourly base, And dont get me started on the scrum master who checks the sprint status twice a day.
I can't quit this work but I'm losing mind here.
H-O-W T-H-E F-U-C-K do i deal with this idiotism??5 -
Sometimes, I feel my school is a prison.
I'm sitting there, 8-10 hours per day, learnin' things I already know, and all I can do is sitting quiet to `don't disturb during the lesson`. I can't even use my laptop.
But, school also is nice in some ways, my principal allowed me to run a Hacktoberfest event in my school, make kinda radio in our school and make an app for our SmartTV (yep, we have a TV in school) to show weather, changes in lesson plans etc.
But still, I really feel this is the prison. One more year, and I'll finish this shit and go...to another school because `you need to graduate to do anything in your life`. Btw, do ya know any good ways how to become CTO or COO one day? Just asking. Greetings, I hate my school, have a nice day.10 -
maybe u can help me..
If i send "mp3" through my created app it is always a "unknown file"
maan im try and failing like 12 h now.. nothin to find on google or stackoverflow about exactly that problem.
The file also is named then for example as xyz instead of xyz.mp3
And via WhatsApp it only sends an "unnamed document"
wtf man im out of solutions. if you want i could post code8 -
$ sudo pacman -S npm
$ npm install -g @angular/cli
$ ng new crap
$ du -h crap
366M crap/
me like: "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!1"
$ rm -rf crap
$ npm uninstall -g @angular/cli
$ sudo pacman -Rs npm1 -
useful alias when you want to inspect what is taking up space on your disk - needs GNU du
alias duh='function _blah(){ du -ahcd 1 --time $1 | sort -h -r; };_blah'
$ duh /path/to/folder | less2 -
How much do you earn if you work professionally. Include experience and position.
Me:
50 h per month student type job as a web dev mostly frontend, 1 year and 3 months of professional experience - 1300euro/ month17 -
To the physicists among us:
I'm in the process of planning a very lightweight mini drone that flies with the help of radio signals that's surrounding it.
I'm targeting 100 MHz.
I calculated the amount of energy (Joules) of it and just when I did change the formula from E=h*f to Power=E/time I realized that time is basically going to be infinite and now I am stuck finding a solution to this.
I can't just use a potential infinite amount of time in this equation and need a workaround.
Any help is appreciated.22 -
Trying to figure out how the below code works. Everything is straight forward. The code works as I ran it in qbasic in dos emulator.
But for the life of me I cannot figure out wth cap1 and cap2 are. I debugged the code and saw values being set, but I cannot figure out where the data is coming from. I assume it is somehow related to the function declarations. Been 20 years since I did anything with qbasic. Maybe some other old fogie can tell me what is going on here:
DECLARE FUNCTION integrate (sample, cap, tc)
DECLARE FUNCTION differentiate (sample, cap, tc)
COMMON SHARED accumulator
CONST pi = 3.14159
SCREEN 9: CLS
FOR timeConstant = 10 TO 600 STEP 100
accumulator = 0
FOR a = 0 TO 22 STEP .01
wave = 0
FOR h = 1 TO 10
wave = wave + SIN(a * h) / h
NEXT h
lopass = integrate(wave, cap1, timeConstant)
IF wave > lopass THEN
trigger = 1
ELSE
trigger = 0
END IF
hipass = differentiate(trigger, cap2, 20)
PSET (a * 30, 50 - wave * 20), 15
PSET (a * 30, 50 - lopass * 20), 14
PSET (a * 30, 100 + timeConstant / 4 - trigger * 15), 2
PSET (a * 30, 270 - hipass * 20), 15
NEXT a
NEXT timeConstant
END
FUNCTION differentiate (sample, accumulator, tc) STATIC
fsample = tc
leakage = 1 - EXP(-2 * pi * 1 / fsample)
capAvg = leakage * accumulator
accumulator = accumulator - capAvg + sample
differentiate = sample - capAvg
END FUNCTION
FUNCTION integrate (sample, accumulator, tc) STATIC
fsample = tc
leakage = 1 - EXP(-2 * pi * 1 / fsample)
capAvg = leakage * accumulator
accumulator = accumulator - capAvg + sample
integrate = capAvg
END FUNCTION
The output looks like the image.
10 -
!dev
ok tumblr and google photos BOTH tore up the quality - h
but here y'all go
https://parkcitymedia.tumblr.com/po... -
I just had this field with certain class type that acted so $h!++y on me that I almost believed I had finally gotten insane from all those coding.
I’m talking about Unity C#. When the code runs after a domain reload, I find that this specific field always comes prefilled with “an instance of that class whose properties were the default values.” So every time when I change something in my code (which causes a domain reload,) this field becomes an instance of the class with default properties **without any outside interaction.** All my null guard code fails and what follow are thousands of null reference exceptions because my scripts tries to access the properties of that instance, which are null.
Turns out, it was maybe because the class in question was marked with [Serializable]. When I remove it, the behavior completely stops.
This behavior was so unexplainable in clear words that googling for such behavior was pure impossible. Like WAT. I don’t even know which of C# or Unity caused this weird $h!+ to happen.2 -
Hey guys ! I need your help for something.
I'm a student in Belgium that will become self-employed as frontend+backend developer (during my free time)
In Belgium and as student I will have no charge.
What would be a good rate per hour ? Some already suggest me 30-40€/h but as I'm free of charge others suggest 25€/h
What do you think ?4 -
zzazzdzz/fools2019 starts tomorrow.
too bad i have
s c h o o l
(join us if you wanna learn GBz80ASM and partake in challenges every year. also plugging glitchcity.info here too because our member does it and we collab on it)3 -
Round 2 of trying to warranty repair a new monitor (Samsung CF791 ultrawide). Of course, it would die right after the 30-day return period with B&H so now I’m at the mercy of Samsung. Spent $70 on special packing to send it to Samsung so they couldn’t claim it broke during shipping. It came back to me in a box that looked like a homeless person had once lived in it. And it still didn’t work. I just sent it off again, this time in the same box they sent, as if to say “screw you for making me spend $70 for nothing”. I fully expect it to come back still not working. And I’ll demand a replacement. $700 monitors aren’t worth what they used to be.1
-
I remember codeblocks with pain the .h and .cpp, the pointers sometimes get the memory address that crash the program and program with opengl on codeblocks is the dead1
-
Son of a fucking dumbass bitch
Aaahhhh i dont know anything
I cant even fucking use my fucking mf brain
Madarchod bhosda h mera dimag
Ma ki chut bc3 -
MP3 did not get re-licensed by the Fraunhofer institute - they want to push a new format :0
MPEG-H?5 -
I am super frustrated and don't have the energy to translate into a general language so here goeas some hinglish venting:
bc bosses ne leni deni kr rkhi hai... itna badhiya relaxed hoke chutti se wapis aaya tha, 2 din me mood ka bhosada kr diya apni harkato se.
yes, bosses , saala systummm chal rha h boss pe boss pe boss ka.
sardi me saare velle huye pade hai to harr aadhe ghnte me meeting le rhe h.
almost saari team ne aukaat dikhai hui hai , koi 5 din ki chutti pe to koi 7 din ki chutti pe, to jo mil rha h bs usi ko pele jaa rhe hai ye ppt ke chode.
mereko ek feature banane ko diya hua h... saala har cheez pehle idhr udhr delegate krke 15 din ke kaam ko 45 din ka bana diya, ab release deadline pass hai to meeting pe meeting rakh rhe h . bhosadiwaalo , meeting rakhne se tumhare baap ka code tumhari maa likhegi?
upr se thand bc.... itti thand me kon tumhare tatte chaatne office jaa rha h? jo jaa rha h usi ko bulao mereko ghr pe rajai me kaam krne do. saala gaand sookh ke aadu ho gyi h thand se, nd inhe fir bhi metro se 2 ghnte lgane ke baad banda office me chahiye . team me bs 7 lund h(technically 5 lund and 2 !lund) nd unke se 5 bahane maar ke ghr pe baithe huye h... ek langoorni manager aa jati h apne boss ke boss ka hilane... nd expect krti hai mai bhi aake saathme hilau. mereko nahi hilana yaar :'(
4 gnte to travel me waste krwa do, parking space maango to bolenge ki tumhara band level kam h, office me inka wifi vpn ke saath apni maa chudata h 2kbps ki speed se . emulator gaand marvate hai, nd fir bhi inhe banda chahiye office me nd feature ready chahiye 2 din me.
agar khud gaand me ungal nahi dete , to inki policies gaand me ungli krti h... saala 9 bje app le saare dev server band... oh maiiyavo din me 5 ghnte meeting rkhne ke baad tumhe lgta h ki koi kaam hua hoga.. nd bande ko khane hugne mootne me bhi 1-2 ghnte chale jaate h ghr pe... ek to tumhara time waste ko compensate krna chah rha hu apni marzi se raat me kaam krke, but tumhari gaand me usse bhi keede hai... to rote raho bc. meri jhaat tumhe degi festure banake Christmas se pehle.. bhupp
saala kachha utaar ke khol ke baith jaata hu, aake saare bosses ekek krke meri maar lo5 -
After a month off from developing. I got butterfingers, can't type string with typing an extra 'h' into it. Surprised I didn't type with my thumbs instead.
-
Firebase local emulator decides to just break for no reason. All of a sudden all requests are unauthorized (even though I haven't changed anything in the authentication process of my app).
W H Y
Yay, I just need to debug for 5 hours and then the thing is going to fix itself without any explanation. -
No judgment regardling the "H" word here. But right now, which would you rate the best Hybrid app SDK?
Flutter, React Native, Xamarin? Other? and why?
I started using Flutter in 2020 and I'm loving the results. The learning curve is really high but the performance is nice. But coding via widgets...just feels a bit messy.8
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