So I picked up my nephew from his kindergarten and he told me that forks have round holes.
I laughed and said that forks don't have holes, otherwise the food would fall down through them.

It turs out that he was right and I was wrong.

GUYS!!! SHE SAID "YES" !!!!

I'M SOOOO HAPPYYYYY!!!

All my dreams are becoming real! I was so nervous to ask, but it was worth it! I waited for the right moment, looked her in her eyes, she looked at mine.. And there I asked it: "are you willing to give it a try and install libreoffice instead of ms office?"

AND SHE SAID: "yes"!!!

Do I have the best wife or what!

That time when I was wrong, the client was wrong, but my algorithm was right.

I'm proud of you son

Twice today I've spoken up in meetings and was totally ignored. I guess my idea wasn't even worth a reply? :-/

Five minutes later: oh, right, I forgot I'd muted myself.

- @bradfitz

After a long battle with CSS I give up and show the client a preview.
Client: I like how you made this first row a bit wider. Really makes it stand out.
Me: Yeah...right, that was intentional... 😎

Dev: "Ah, I finally fixed that code I was working on the other day and got it pushed to staging!"

Almond: "Ah, great! What was the issue in the end?"

Dev: "It was an odd one - it wasn't actually my code that was the issue, there was a bunch of other code getting in the way."

Almond: "How do you mean?"

Dev: "It kept complaining about something called a "unit test" failing - so after a while I found the right unit tests, deleted them, and now it works great!"

Almond: "..."

Just an idea.

If I remember correctly, Symbian OS was a free, open-source OS, right?

How about people start working with it again? It could make a great Android alternative if enough were willing to work with it.

Yep. I worked at a place where my director and manager were true mysogynists. One day the director walks behind one of my subordinates and knees her in the back of the knees to make her fall back so that he can catch her. He does this in front the whole office. I told her that I had her back if she chose to complain. We went to our CO and laid everything out, and he was forced to take action. I was pulled aside and told that I would ruin my career if I went durn this path. I told them that it was more important to me to do the right thing. The director was forced to resign, the manager was reassigned to another location, and yes, my career suffered, especially in the area of promotion. But you know what? I'd do it again, because it was the right thing to do.

I didn't believe him but this guy was goddamn right.

if I got it right, this is how internet troubleshooting was programmed

Story time:

I was hanging around with my friend:

Me: Gosh, this waiting is killing me!
Friend: You're programmer - aren't you used to waiting?
Me: :|
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He's right

"let's be all productive tonight!"

Who was I kidding, a night of sleeping longer than 5 hours is all I want right now.

Good night, devRant.

I knew I was right!! thanks stackoverflow for confirming. :D

I: "Do you have the right version for your architecture?"
He: "What"
I: "Did you download the 64 bit or the 32 bit version?"
He: "I'm not sure but I think it was sth. between 40 and 50!"

THERE IS A FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "React.component" and "React.Component"! Took me fucking 2 hours to figure this fucking thing out. Until then I was certain that this was some dependency issue. Oh the rage right now!! 🔫🔪💣💣😡

I was hired to build a small PHP site. The client was arrested and sentenced to jail time right before the third of four milestones was complete, so I didn't get paid any more after that. Didn't hear from him for over a year, then out of nowhere he wanted to pick up where we left off.

So I was just about to learn Angular for my job. Right after I installed it and initialized the first app folder I was told I don't need to learn it anymore.

Me being happy, right click folder, delete...

Deleting 30.035 files (225 MB)

WHAT THE FUCK

Flashback to when I was in 7th grade

Art teacher: Taco, your focal point is wrong
Me: *looks* ....no it's not
Art teacher: *looks* ...oh, you're right

Fast forward to c++ class

Prof: Taco your calculation is incorrect
Me: *looks* ....no it's not
Prof: *looks* ...oh, you're right

I just updated my website to be GDPR compilant. (hopefully). It was the last one.
I'm so pissed right now. I have invested tens of hours for this FUCKING SHIT. I'm not against privacy regulations - I appreciate them. But this is not the way to enforce them IMO.

In a previous rant I said I was gonna flip some bits. I couldn't wait until the weekend. I flipped some fucking bits, right fuckin now.

I've always drunk very less water compared to others. So I decided to install this app that'll remind me to drink water every now and then. Since, healthy body, healthy mind.

Was going through comments when I found this.
Well, I mean he's right in a sense, you know.

Okay ... So I was asked by my friend .. why do you put a hashtag infront of C ... It should be #C right?
I told him dude .. the sharper part should always come at the end ...

MFW when the server I just killed was not the right one.

I just almost shat myself.

I altered the wrong database table column...truncated data we are required to keep for government compliance.

Luckily I had exported that table earlier today and was able to recover it all. I'm in need of a very strong drink right about now.

This morning I couldn't delete any of my projects and my workspace kept refreshing. I was going mad about it. Then I looked at my keyboard and realized I was clicking F5 instead of Delete. I'm going to get a coffee. Be right back.

My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.

The very first call i attended, went like:

Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?

*Listening his problem*

Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".

Client : where can i find "Right Click"?

When I managed to minimize the processing time of the project I'm currently handling. It went down from 30min-1hr to 7min-15mins. The project owner was so happy, said it made his life easier. I was told I did a good job by my manager.

I feel like a real dev then and there. So whenever I'm having a bad day, feeling insecure, I try to remember that day when I was able to do something right. :)

That moment that you think of a way better way to do something than your initial idea was RIGHT BEFORE you implement / start working on the initial idea instead of after hours of work.

I could get used to this!

WTF Apple! That new name is longer than Empire State building! on the right how it was, on the left how it will be if I migrate to Swift 4.2 ...

Yesterday I was downloading illegal movie from the Internet and found this movie under comedy section and thought to download. After downloading I found out that it was a girl-to-girl porn.

Dear Developers and Content editors
Do your fucken job right and link the correct files.

Thank you.

PS: I enjoyed the porn

I designed a (rough) wireframe in Balsamiq and showed it my manager for early feedback.
He was like - I really like it, but can we have some colours in it? It's more of a monochrome right now. Just black & white. FML

Some nights I feel like this line was commented out right before I was compiled:

goto sleep;

I was interviewing a candidate for a senior UI dev position and I began to ask him stuff about closures, contexts, design patterns and others.

At some point, after failing to respond to most of the questions, the candidate looked at me and said something like: ‘I am amazed. You didn’t have a lot of toys when you were a kid. The PC was your only toy when you were a kid, right??’.

I looked at my junior colleague that was shadowing the interview and we couldn’t believe what the guy was asking. He was extremely serious and he was looking for a way to find an explanation for his failure.

Getting to play with 50GBit/s hardware next week. My boss was like "You like hardware, right? I bought you some toys..." Btw, i am in an apprenticeship. And yes, i do love my company!

I was playing Science trivia with Google assistant. Looks like she didn't want me to get all 5 answers right.

Also, 0.62 != 0.62

Erm, I think I’ve just fucked Google’s AI

When I was first hired, I coded all day long and all was right with the universe. Then I got promoted. now all I do is attend meetings, grant access, and review other people's code. I need a demotion.

My toddler is still learning to speak. We know some numbers now. Today he was counting items on the table, and I quote [with LT->EN translation]:

ZERO
ONE
TWO
THREE

I guess I'm doing something right as a parent. Proud of him and myself .

I wanted to print the second and third page of some document, so in the relevant field of the printer dialog I enter "1, 2" and I walk off to the printer.

My first thought when I saw the printer had printed the wrong pages was
"F*ing buggy software"
Second thought:
"Oh... right"
Third thought:
"Right, in the real world, one-based indices are the rule rather than the exception. "
Fourth thought:
"Dumb real world"

I graduated 3 months ago from computer engineering, landed a job far far away from home. Moved. I wake up every morning wondering if it was the right call. Seems like I am growing up.

My dad said I can't be a farmer.
The I did this:
`git cherry-pick b6b27bccc3c6abbf2551a8c4a3e59dd36fc1af18`

We'll he was right coz this is the closest I'm gonna get.
Oh!, wait; I can have a server farm.

After doing an exam with dubious answers, the teacher gave us the answers with our exams scores.

One question could have two answers and mine was one of them and was "wrong" so I asked the teacher:

Me: hey, this one is right too isn't it?

He: yeah, but the right answer is the other one.

Me: OK... So shouldn't it be reviewed, nulled or given points to both?

He: no, because the answer is this one.

Me: care to explain how you have two right answers but this one is the "right" one?

He: yes, because its "righter".

Me inside: FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

Me: you got to be kidding right?

He: no. Its this one.

So I changed course and never had to deal with that piece of shit again.

Last year I applied for a similar position to that I have now (Front-end Dev), but with a higher salary and less responsibility.

The interview went fairly well I thought, but I was also given a short written exam, where I was supposed to point out errors in the code provided. I'm certain I got everything right but I took too long (about 20 minutes for 20 questions) and they got inpatient pressing me several times.

My excuse was that I haven't used a pen in about 3 years. My hand didn't know what was happening! Who even writes anything anymore nowadays?!

Me - I want to work on Java.
Boss - you are working on Java right?
Me - no, just Angular JS
Boss - yes it's the same right... Angular Js, JavaScript, java

Me - (hmmmm, what if I had just said angular, would he assume I was doing geometry?)

Commit fast, commit often.

I lost a day's worth of code once, because I wanted to commit all of them in the evening right before I was to go home. Then I mistakenly hit `git checkout .` instead of `git add .`.

Poof. Gone.

Had a tinder "date" last night. Shit was just awkward the entire time. She lives right over a state border, and I live right on the other side, so it was maybe a 10 minute drive. Plus she had a bunny, so that was pretty cool.

She said she wasn't interested in a hookup or anything, which I was fine with, sex isn't everything. We saw the bunny for a bit, then she started talking about her abusive ex boyfriend she was with for like 2 years (she did not shut the fuck up about it).

She lives in a fairly sketchy place too, so that didn't help the situation. At one point, a car drives by and shined a flashlight through the window I was sitting by. The flashlight was turned off right after that. Then she continued talking about her ex boyfriend.

I held through for 3 hours of that shit. It was the most uncomfortable I have ever been in my life. Eventually she said her friend texted her about having boyfriend issues and invited herself over to stay the night there, so she basically said "you might as well go, I don't think you want to deal with a crying 16 year old"

So I went to my car and left. I drove as fast as I could back to my apartment. Then I was telling my roommate about it, and he was like "I think you need some alcohol after that shit", so I took a couple shots of vodka.

Shit was fucking weird guys.

Uh...all of them? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I used to work with a 'floor supervisor' who vaped excessively and obnoxiously. He had one of those things that made vapor like a space shuttle launch too. When he was talking during conference calls or presentations, rapt attention and respect were demanded. When anyone else was presenting, *whoosh*, big cloud of vapor, right in front of the screen, right in the presenter's face. It looked like the building was on fire ten minutes in. Opening the door was like getting out of a car that's been hotboxed. That guy was a douche.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A MATHS PART OF MY RENDERER WORKING FOR TWO DAYS NOW AND IT HAS BEEN WORKING THE WHOLE TIME BUT I WAS USING THE WRONG VALUES TO TEST IT THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME I WANT TO DIE

Right after high school, I was looking for an internship. I mailed my cv to a bunch of local companies and got quite a few responses. Two of the companies invited me for an interview.

The first one was a somewhat big company and they would have had me working on some angular web app. The other one on the other hand was a small team of 6 people, 2 of which were the bosses.

It was one of the nicest interviews I could have ever imagined. We just sat down and talked about what kind of programming experience I already had and what I wanted to learn.

They hired me right away. The internship was just 6 weeks and after that my studies in computer science were gonna start. They offered me a part time position with flexible hours and I gladly agreed.

I've been working at that company for over a year now and it couldn't be going better.

I feel pretty good about myself right now. Just spent 40 minutes wasting a scammers time, and Damn it was fun 😂

I switched my router and this happened. It was 10Mbps up and down; now it's this. That can't be right...

This has been said countless times before me, and way better than me that’s supper tired, but I need to rant out

And what I’m ranting out today, is Apple. Its essence, its core, the reason it still exists: the ECOSYSTEM!

The problem with Apple ecosystem is that it’s the ecosystem of a fucking PRISON!

People like it because it works well together , but it’s sure that in a prison, the path from your cell to the cantine is pretty optimized; you get forced there! And you might try to get your food elsewhere, but the walls of the prison are made to be difficult to cross. Especially on mobile, where they’re making it harder and harder to escape, to make a jailbreak (pun-intended). Keeping you the loyal little sheep, or the forcing you to it.

That prison is also made private, a little club, to attract people to it. They even got their own little system to talk to each other, but oh god protect them from their little messages to pass the walls of the prison.

And all that prison is guarded by the warden, watching from high in the cloud. Forcing you to report yourself to him to be part of that prison.

That prison, also, can only be entered with specific vehicles, provided by the prison, to ensure maximum compatibility and efficiency. Good luck entering with a disguised vehicle if you find the official ones too pricey for their parts.

They also provided pressure tubes to send things from one cell to another. While being only simple pressure tubes like any other, they’re acclaimed because they’re apparently easier to use than the other 3rd party pressure tubes that can send things to the outside. Why? Because, oh yes it’s already in everybody’s cells (of that prison, outside is dangerous) and the other tubes have been conveniently being placed somewhere harder to reach.

Another thing they have are those windows that can view the outside. While being maybe less clear than some other windows, they are ok. But if you ever consider going mobile to enjoy that safari with lions, then man do they love bringing you back to that window.

Ok so I’m done with the prison metaphor, or I won’t sleep.

The ecosystem is probably the major reason Apple is still there. You buy from there because you’re a prisoner (I guess I’m not finished with the metaphor after all).

This is a prime example of RMS’s quote “If the user doesn’t control the software, the software controls the user”

AirDrop isn’t some sort of revolutionary tech, it uses a well established protocol that other implementations use to do the same thing. They could really easily open source the protocol and allow everyone to profit, but they won’t, because that would mean you don’t have to buy Apple.

That’s why I militate for open source, decentralized and standardized protocols. Because that way, we control the software, and it doesn’t control us.

All the things I said aren’t so bad because when you buy Apple, you make a choice. But I don’t have a choice, I am typing this on an Apple device, because I need to (I won’t elaborate on that) because of that fucking *ecosystem*

I am really tired, so half the sentences probably don’t make sense, but thanks for coming to my stupid TED talk.

Interviewer: What was the greatest problem you encountered in life and how did you solve it?

...yeaah, even if I could pick one right now, I probably wouldn't tell you about it 🤔

Was in a meeting today with a team I just joined, I asked what they used to write tests.. they said they don't write tests because no one would see them..

This is crazy right?

I rant a lot when I play hockey (I am goalkeeper) ... so I thought this was the right place to stick it!

Embarrassing moment:

Needed to deliver apk urgent urgently​ for push notification testing. I was unable to receive push token. Code is right in every way. Couldn't figured out in 15min. Lead comes to my seat and asks what's issue. And hey suddenly I figured it out. It was my wifi closed.. Bullshit 😬😠

!dev

So I am taking a break from the standard social media. Facebook, Instagram, etc. To sort of let my friends know, i posted this picture before disabling my accounts.

Right around midnight, the calls started pouring in because everyone thought I was going to kill myself.

Oops?

Context: a co-worker had sent an email and was worried about possible collateral damage.

Co-worker: uhm, you know how it is when something just doesn't feel right?

Me: sure, every time I clock in here.

Found out a senior dev threw me under the bus for a mistake I made while coding and it affected my raise. Not only was I never initially informed of the mistake, I was never told what went wrong and why it needed fixing. We also don't implement code reviews or anything of the sort. Seems like a great avenue for improvement and growth, right? 😑

Got a funny look from someone the other day...

Turned out I was shouting at my monitor...

That's normal right?

DELETE FROM Invoices;

I am on test, right? OH SH!T

had a recent backup tho and no data were lost.

Happened once and never again. I was still pretty much junior in a senior position to be fair 😅

Beginning Open Beta testing for a chatbot in a thursday

Friend: What the fuck are these inputs?

Me: just filter them out

Friend: Good fucking lord I was right to disable unsupervised learning

Me:Now you know

I progressively became more right over the course of 30 years. At the point where I was contextually right more often than not, I determined that to be "good." Then I kept getting better, just in case.

Going live on Friday afternoon.
- no way, too many critical bugs! - I said
- we will - the Key account manager said.

Friday is here, still many critical bugs, I was right, it's impossible.

The Key account manager just dropped all functionalities with critical bugs and tricked the customer into thinking it's ok.
So we go live.

He was right, we can.
Oh yeah.

BOSS allowed a last minute change that apparently was barely tested to be merged right before the last release of the year...

BOOM!!!

Me: ... I told you so....

Freelance project I was working on was deployed. Without my knowledge. At 11pm. Their in-house "tech guy" thought that the preview build i gave them was good enough for deployment. Massive bug, broke their api endpoints.
Got a call at 2 in the morning,asking for a fix. I told them how it was their fault and the App they deployed had TESTING written right on the main screen.
They promised additional payment to get me to fix it asap.
Went through the commit history (thank goodness their tech guy knew git, fuck him for committing on production though) and the crash reports.
Removed three lines. All became right with the world again. 😎

In my master equivalent thesis, I was supposed to build upon a year of work from my predecessors. However, I argued that it had no actual foundation and would never work properly, so I threw it away and started from scratch.

The prof was astonished and commented "well it's your thesis", insinuating that the risk was on me. Turned out I had been right.

@dfox, I heard another DevRant meetup was coming. I just made this up right now but it's trending on Twitter... which I also made up.

So... maybe in the Pittsburgh area?

Once while making a automation program for a friends errr academic betterment. I realized I had taken three of the sacred caffeine pills and chewed them unlike normal. Needless to say this increased the surface area tremendously. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack right there at the age of 20. And all I could think was, "fuck my screen has a lot of dead pixels."

It's 2:37. I was up until this time 3 times this week working on projects for 6 different clients. I have no reason to be up right now except to be on DevRant.

I have this project I've inherited, yea I seem to do that a lot, but this damn thing, has to run in php5.4, has deprecated functions for php7 everywhere and a lot of them and there's no classes anywhere beyond some libraries.

Everything is procedural with random scripts being injected left right and center.

I kid you not,

$thisThing = true;
If(x==y)
require "path/to/some/script.php";
else
require "path/to/a/slightly/different/script.php";

If($thisThing === false){
// well it was modified in that small block about 10 different times
}

Those injected scripts then accept data from the parent scope so, looking at file X, you need to have open file A,B, E, and M to understand where variables have been initialised and what there current state could potentially be.

Basically this thing was bandaid after bandaid for feature requests with 0 refactoring.

Here I am trying to implement some basic functionality (should only take an hour or so + a bit of manual testing) but no, I'm literally at the point of hitting the delete button on the entire project and starting again.

I had a great dream where the perfect Linux distro was on my computer (like windows had never been) and I understood it well and the world was right

Me: 'alriiight let's run this code here'

Logs: 'lol the function you did is deprecated. how about you don't do that, and do the right thing instead'

What was the right thing?
I don't know. It's not on their documentation in their site.

Thanks, js devs :) you guys are the absolute best

-Problem
-searching everywhere
-complicated algorithms
-almost there ...

My little sister: hey! Can you install this game on my tablet?
Me: no! I'm busy right now
Sister: mom!!...
Me: okay! okay!
<installation process >

...
What was I doing?...

That's how everything gets ruined :/

All I'm wondering is how did @dfox manage to keep this avatar feature a secret while it was in the works? If I was in the process of coding something so elegant, I'd be telling people left and right! Bravo!

Yesterday , I was traveling through the bus . I was reading the documentation of jquery . Suddenly a guy siiting next to my seat said "Are you a Hacker ?" I was in shock . He said " Could u plzz hack something for me right now ?" LOL

When I was 19, I had no problem with drinking until 3-4am and waking up at 7am for college. Right now its 12:35am,and I will kill someone when my alarm goes for work at 7am. And I'm 22 now...

so my father is on psychiatry, because he tried to kill himself. he invited me to join, which was very tempting, but his method was very stupid, and i have a bit more time of enjoying watching the apocalypse in progress, so i declined.

he's alive, because his attempt was thwarted by his instinct not to take anyone else with him who didn't consent.

i told him killing himself by crashing a car is the stupidest way ever.

i'm glad he didn't listen, because i was right.

Sort of !dev

I can't do school anymore. I get so many panic attacks. I was shaking the entire time I was writing my essay today. It's hard to focus when your brain is fucking freaking out. I'm missing deadlines, failing tests left and right.

Real talk, I'm not dumb. This was never a problem. My University fucked me up and now I can't even look at an assignment without an electric feeling and I don't know what to do.

I had a panic attack during the opening crawl of Star Wars. I had to leave the theater. My anxiety is going to give me a heart attack one of these times. I'm 18, why am I experiencing health issues like this?

School isn't done right. How could this be the intended effect?

On the gitlab incident livestream description on youtube I noticed this:

"No, nobody was fired"

Yeah right. They probably beat him, raped him, burned him, crucified him, raped him again. But no there were no firing involved.

My little pleasure of today.

I asked a question on Stack Overflow.
It was closed with reason: "off-topic" "tip-of-the-iceberg" question.
I followed the link to the explanation of why it was closed.

There was a discussion in metaSO, about closing or not those kind of questions.
It seems somebody "won" the discussion arguing that was the right thing to do....

I DOWNVOTED HIM.

now I feel much better.

Whatever was going on in the weekdays ... I forget about it right here, in my garden.

Have a nice weekend you all.

This was a straight-to-devrant moment...

Referred a work colleague to a man page for a command they were having trouble with.

Their reply: "I really hate man pages. They are not useful to me. They are full of blah blah blah blah blah. I just want 'run this' or 'run that'."

Then my eyes exploded right out my head, making room for my brain exploding right behind them.

My coworker "fixed" a bug. Then an issue was reported to me. He refactored something that we both used(And my code was already working right). I asked him about it. He didn't care about it and also was upset about my question. A question that I didn't ask in a "rude" way.. The worst: the refactor only required 30 seconds to do!!!

What!!!

Please guys if you refactor do it right or don't do it at all. Have a nice day

!dev

So today I got a Karen got out from her car yelling at me. She switched from her lane to mine. I was in my lane all this while and going straight. She signalled the indicator right after she enter the lane. I beeped at her. She yelled at me "Why don't I signal the indicator".

I beg your pardon? I was just going straight and constantly staying on my lane!!!

My first dev project was 6 years ago in which I made a fucking gui application in c++ using fucking TurboC++.

And used no gui libraries. Used to draw circles/rectangles/pixels right on screen using graphics.h library

Was fun though

It's 4 am in the morning.

I have an important test at 9.

My laptop decided now was just the right time to make the screen go black.

Sometimes Murphy just politely hands you your ass.

i was coming out of my mom and i looked to my right and it was that computer that always beats with her heartbeat and stuff

If I was gifted a coin every time I named a file final I would be rich right now

When I just started making things in PHP, I always taught that md5 encryption was the best thing out there.. Once I learned that it was the most easy way to break I changed to SHA1. What were I thinking? I now use a custom generated SALT for each user and encrypt with SHA512, should be safe for a while, right?

What was your moment of realization that you picked the right profession?

I didn't grow up building computers or loving code... I was a lazy piece of shit until I hit college when I finally got my act together (a late start, if you will).

My moment of realization happened when I was asked to rewrite an old C program to blacklist IPs of "hacked" emails based on email logs. I was the only one in the office who could read C, so it was kind of a spotlight moment for me lol. Anyways, the script I wrote to replace it turned out to catch more cases than the original script. We kicked it back to our email filtering service since they allowed us access to the source code and they were impressed. That was my moment for knowing I'm I'm the right industry 🙃

So the company didn't make an offer in the end because I was "not motivated enough" and "too interested in 4-day-week / PTO". Yeah right, fuck me for wanting to have a life outside work. *sigh*

My papa was financing my first university education. After 4 years in electrics&electronics engineering, I had 2.1 GPA and was not ready for life.

I reapplied for university exams and earned right to computer engineering dept. Papa supported my decision for whole new education after a brief talk and financed me for the second time.

Thanks father.

I got kicked out of university (geology) because my credits ran out. I just wanted to choose the course with highest employment rate, so i chose applied computer sciences at college. Without any experience with computers i started it!
Boy was that the right descicion!
Now i'm really loving it!

FRIDAY MADNESS:

As I was so busy coding, one colleague was taking a break and distracts me as he's done with his task. As he approached, I snobbed.

Him: Dude, did you know that there's a generator for all the images in sprite?
Me: really? How?
Him: spritegen.website-performance.org. What's cool about it is that the html and css are already generated just like in font awesome. For example, that i tag...
Me: cool. I wonder dude, why would they use i tag when it makes the text italicize, right?
Him: right. Probably because its used for icons also because icons starts with letter i.
Me: LOL.
Him: LOL.

Worst Manager/Higher Up? I guess that would be me. There was this time I was so frustrated with my team, that I literally asked them to make a list of words they want to curse me with, cause we won't be going home till the work is done the right way.

My fav interview was at my previous job. It was a junior position. The lead was a very friendly and wise guy. He kept pushing me (positively) with subtle hint until I get a code right. After completing each problem he give me elaborate explanation about the meaning of the problem and how to approach it from other angles. It felt like I'm in front of buddha who is making me realize the inner working of the world. Didn’t get 50% of the questions right, still he recruited me because "You were very curious and you were having fun solving problems". Best one and half years of my career.

When I was very young, I remember I couldn't remember anyone's name.

I just yelled "HEY!" until the right guy noticed me.

(that was when I was about 5 years old.)

I spent 2 hours last night trying to figure out how to rotate an image in Java without clipping it. I was all in with a pencil and paper sketching everything out to make sure my math was right.

Turns out I was calculating the new image size correctly, but I used to wrong variables to define the new dimensions...

Sigh.

I was asked by developer if everything seems right on his repo. He basically cloned my setup and removed "unnecessary steps".

I love developers, I really do :D

I never realized USB Type C was built to be reversible. I always assumed that I got it right every time in the first try.

What's happened to me

So I thought “wow, alcohol aerosol should probably catch fire and burn really quick. I bet I can burn my hands if I do this”.

So I poured pure alcohol into a spray bottle and sprayed it right onto a lit up lighter in my hand.

It burned really quick.

I burned my hands.

I was right.

Affective disorder be like

The story of how I got my new job (I will start in december) even though it is not a dev related one:

I was about to reduce my work hours, because my wife was getting a really good job. We couldn't both work full-time, because our son is in kindergarten. Then she broke her ankle and the job was gone. Right at this point I was offered a job at a friends company. I knew him by being an intern in his company.

Things always go well in the end.

I actually saw this right now from my radio which should display the time... Was able to go from 0 to 99 o'clock..

Someone messed up really bad
...

So I tried to render the Facebook page plug-in and guess what..

Some guy at Facebook has added an online style on the preview: display: none !important.

So the plug-in preview was literally empty, thought I was not doing it right, how can the act of simply entering a url be wrong, seriously?

Production bug at Facebook facepalm

I took over someone's code right after they left, and this was in there... By the way the containing method was about 300 lines long.

!dev

Got me a new mouse pad since the only one I had was branded with my last jobs logo. Mordor is right where I usually rest my hand so it will eventually get dirtier and therefore more evil.

*goes to management*

Me: So do you want the button to be up here or down here?

Management: OMG you finished?! So early?!

Me: Eh no, I just modified the HTML in the browser...

Management: But I can see the button right there!

Me: ...

Management: Well, leave it where it was.

It never was. And it is currently in two places.

So I guess my debug pet is the most powerful of all. I meant Totoro on right.

// The pig was just there to remind me of few stuffs.

I went out partying with couple of friends last night, it was nice ...

So I met this girl, she was nice and beautiful, out going basically we were getting each other's vibes and the mood was right ... We had a drink together and everything was cool until I learned her last name ...🤣

I couldn't help it I cracked up it was so intense ...

her last name was "chrooto"
I know that I have ruined my chances with her, but I don't think I could've been able to hold it

At first I wasn't really happy when MS bought GitHub (Considering the things they fucked up in the past).
However right now it seems like it really was a change for the better. I am currently testing GitHub Actions for CICD and holy fuck its amazing!

I was 11-12, the year was 1995. My mom was so sick of me screwing up the business computer (286), she bought me an old XT at a garage sale. It had a monochrome monitor and a 40 kB HDD. I taught myself qbasic on it. I knew right there I wanted to build stuff in code for a living.

I hate myself so much right now. I just spent an hour finding the bug in the following:

var counter=0
while(1){
if(counter%2==0){
doStuff()
counter++
}
}

Because I thought it was a bug in doStuff().

This was when I was pursuing my bachelors degree. One of the professors was of the opinion that only her code was right and anything else is wrong! For example if she did something with a for loop and I did the same with a while loop, my answer would be wrong -_- What the hell -_-

(Also, often her code would be wrong too and sometimes wouldn't even compile.. She used Notepad btw)

So, I was able to hack into a local business (legally) in under two minutes today... great and scary right? Get this, it was from my iPhone. All switches were still the default username and password... after seeing that they didn't think anything was wrong and didn't sign the contract... imagine what I could have done with my laptop and my PWNtools...

Fuck it, more (l)user data for me to log.😏

I was asked to check something today that was handed over on a USB stick. "Could you check that the file structure is correct". Of course I said. Then I prepared my camera, changed the insides of the stick to my rubber ducky, wrote a little script and uploaded it. Oh yea and corrected the structure.

The face of the colleague was priceless when I brought back the stick and he sticked it right into his computer.

The script was roughly:
- open browser
- open history
- search "porn"
- select second row
- enter

=D office pranks <3

I thought SQL was supposed to be very easy? I'd like to jump off a balcony right now because of it ...
I don't know if I'm just dumb or if my sources for learning are bad or idk
maybe I'm just tired and dislike SQL

New teacher assigned and she realizes that the previous teacher did not teach anything in this webdev class. HA! I was right all along.

Today I tried to find out why the constructor of my class wasn't called. After 2 hours I found out, that it was named "__constructor" and not "__construct"... I feel so dumb right now. FML

I was pair programming today with one of the seniors in VS. He thought it was weird that I had docked solution explorer to the left side instead of the default right. This makes me wonder, why is solution explorer docked to the right side by default when in almost every other editor (even VS Code), the "document overview" is always on the left?

Got a 1 day of alone time :) 8 hours WFH ant then the (almost) whole evening was MINE. Guess how it went :)

Coding until 2am and falling asleep on my keyboard, waking up on a cold lappy at 5am bcz its battery died and its aluminium frame was freaking freezing.

I know right? That was an awesome evening! I've managed to catch and fix some nasty bugs!

I can't pass a whiteboard interview to save my life. I did pretty well on a fizzbuzz whiteboard a few years ago but in reality in is fairly straightforward. I am interviewing right now and the more I practice and study I realize my teacher in college was right 25 years ago. I should never have become a programmer. I am a likable and fairly competent coder but I am completely overwhelmed and stressed.

So I was changing some CSS, but the changes weren't showing.

Was it being cached? Nope
Was the selector wrong? Nope
Well it was the right file yeah? Yup

So after like 10min of scratching my head, restarting the server, etc it turns out I was checking prod instead of dev.

This isn't even the first time this has happened 😑

Guys just remember to keep your dev tab and your prod tab away from each other, like way away.

I just wrote a function with a while loop AND recursion because I wasn't paying attention.

That was fun. Also, MySQL isn't happy right now. I'm posting while I'm waiting for my local service to restart.

At my previous job when I was new, I asked my boss to let me use headphones while working, It'll increase my attention and productivity to work but he denied right away.

It took me 30min to figure out why jenkins couldn't connect to my repo even though i was sure i got the configuration right this time. As it turned out fail2ban blocked my ip and made all subsequent attempts fail...

I read somewhere at the start of the global pandemic: when it comes to work from home life, you should never underestimate the benefits of a power nap.

My gods, that person was right! I only wish I had taken advantage of it more over the last year.

Last week I made my own Website, I was so proud on it.
Today I told a friend absolut it and he shows me how to do it right with CSS-Grids.
Now I am asking me how coud I be proud on my old website

A friend told me that VSCode is somewhat like an IDE and was comparing VSCode with Webstorm...

Am i right that VSCode is a text editor and not a freacking IDE ? ☺️

I am building my own server right now, problem was that the case was too small for the Mainboard to fit.

Solution: drilling the fucking case apart

(PS: sorry for no cocktail rant, but soon)

I ordered new computer by separate parts so I will have what I want. Choose to not be delivered by mail but pick it up by myself, so it will be faster. Boy I was wrong.

First of all one part was not available so I have to wait one week longer. Then after a week they say I can pick it up. But I was on vacation.

Finally I was back so I went pick it up. Came there and they said they can't find one part. It supposed to be there but they can't find it right now.

So now I am still waiting.

First off murphy is a bitch. Week started off good, nothing bad happening then friday night came and i get an email about a site being down. Ok check it out real quick, cert is expired. No real big deal just a 20 minute fix, didn't bother me that i didn't get an expiry alert. Now is where murphy decided to be the biggest fucking bucktoothed cocksucker, generate a csr for a wildcard domain using an existing key and sent it off when i get it back the private key doesn't match the cert. Again ok maybe i fucked up, generate a selfsigned cert no fucking problem. Contact support to see if they have an idea. Oh now is when it gets fun, the fucking dumbass preceded to tell me how i didn't know what i was doing and how i just had to generate a csr and private key at the same time after i explained to the bastard that I've already tested it with a selfsigned cert. (How does this fucker have a job) By now apparently i was pissed off enough to scare murphy's pansy ass away cause i told the fucker to refund my money, got a list of 30 subdomains and setup letsencrypt on it. Now the part on this that is fucking hilarious is that it took me damn near 24 hours to be called a fucking idiot from a guy that doesn't know his ass between a hole in the fucking ground and 30 minutes of being pissed off more than i have been since i took anger management classes in the 9th grade to say fuck it and switch.

Yesterday, I was looking back at a project that isn't a focus right now, and unintentionally realised the cause of a frustrating bug. It's a one line fix and the smallest PR I've ever done, and it was such a good feeling!

So happy right now! Went to an interview not actually knowing it was an interview (my fault) I just moved half way across the world and was worrying big time about Gettysburg ng a job and feeling some imposter syndrome but luckily they somehow saw that I might actually have some talent and I start Monday! Can't put into words how I am feeling right now ! P.s happy Thanksgiving everyone

Goddamnit I am an idiot. I just fried a microcontroller because I didnt have the right power supply and I used it anyway because fuck it, right? So now I am not a single step closer to the thing I was trying to do but I fucked up my hardware and it is a huge pain in the ass until I get a new one and figure out all the problems with it. Arghn

Most emotional day?

My friend/colleague getting fired out of the blue!

I was so pissed I immediately tried to resign, but they convinced me to calmly reconsider in few weeks. That would be right about now...

I didn't really plan to study computer science, it just kinda happened. So when a few years into school my GPA was low my mom concluded it wasn't right for me.

Thing is, I knew I was good at programming and problem solving and so did my classmates. I even helped people who the school system said were smarter than I was.

So now I am constantly doing projects and freelancing with hopes that I'll prove myself to her.

...

I worked for this Chinese company, one of their systems that was supposedly handling millions of US$ in transactions per day had an API that returned HTML tables...

I stop you right there commenter, there was no format=json parameter.

Another of their API I gave up on:

Status = 200
Content = "error"

I had a CS teacher last semester that openly said she was just as much a beginner as us I'm C#. Oh right, I should probably mention that the course was C#...

I was on the train and a woman came aboard. The only available seat was next to me. She takes this huge laptop out of her bag. While I observed this, I thought: she's going to code. She logged in and.. GitLab! She was writing R code.

When I first started coding, I always assumed my code was working without testing it. Now, I assume the output is wrong if get it right on the first try :/

Oh! How I wish the ++ button was placed at the top/bottom center part of a post. Being right-handed, the level of laziness I have to stretch my thumb all the way to the left when scrolling on the phone with one hand is appalling.

i was having a really hard time because there was no record of changes in code, the boys would communicate changes in private and I'd spend hours trying to figure out why i couldn't compile. when i asked my boss that they put that info somewhere, he said it was unnecessary and that it always worked that way before i came. ofc it worked, it was 2 guys coding. i couldn't work properly and everything took forever to sort, no one tried to help. i went to hr and they just told me i was right and that i had to be patient. i quit soon after

this lil guy right here. there was a time when we're not allowed personal stuff on our desks, and i needed a rubber duck for rdd. so i made this lil guy. he's really gr8 at debugging

So another story about college and stupid team assignments that I have to be responsible for dealing with.

So we had an assignment in operating systems 1 course, it was about memory management and we are a team of 3. Then came the time when we should discuss this assignment with the TA and that day I had to stay all night finishing a project in software engineering (literally giving us a description of a big project because that's what the course teaches And I had to finish it in one all nighter alone because my teammates just gave up).

When the discussion time came I was really tired and then the TA asks me something really simple and I say it but then she tells me that I'm wrong so I wondered a bit and then said no what I said was right! She then asks my teammate (who we are supposed to be good friends) "did he say the right thing?" And his answer is a definitive "NO he's wrong" and then he starts to say the right answer which I swear I said the same but in a different way so I start to say again that I was right and say that I said that just a different way and she took that as an insult and said that I'm shouting at her and being disrespectful to her.

When we finished I asked my friend if he heard me say it wrong and he said "I'm sorry but I didn't even hear what you said and I was afraid" WHAT THE FUCK, he just said that I was wrong to please her and make her feel like she is right and I had to be the wrong one even though I said it right but NOoo her pride is more important

All this was last semester and the second semester just started today and I go into operating system 2 and guess what? The TA got her doctorate and is now the professor for OS 2 when she doesn't even understand anything.

Really FUCK the academic system it feels like it is a grind more than actually gaining mastery of a subject.

Today was my 3rd day on the job and half way through it (right after my new laptop landed on my desk) I was fired. I tried to work for two days without a computer. All I could do was hover over the one other developer whose been there 3 weeks and who didn't meet the launch deadline. The founder had a meltdown over it this morning.

So I still get occasional email from my former employer’s ecommerce mailing list. The budget for live model shoots is nonexistent, so we had to make do with photoshopping products into different scenes. Not ideal but done right it was ok. I’m looking at the latest ad emailed to me and realized something...was...off.

I was on holidays and relaxed.

Played enough video games to bore myself to hell.

Then a friend pushed me to install Fortnit...

Im on extended holidays right now...

Weekly Q: How do you keep yourself motivated?
A: No matter what - I allocate a little bit of time every week to something I really care about right now.

When I was green it was mostly learning. Now it's mostly codebase cleanup, dev experience improvement or dabbling with some feature that's not prio.

Might not sound like a lot but doing it weekly does add up.

Interviewer asked me to design the Energizer Bunny. I looked at him like he had 2 heads. Apparently that was the right answer.

I commute to work on bike and it started raining right before the time I usually go home. I decided to wait for the weather to calm a bit. That was 4 hours ago. It's still raining, but it's also getting dark now..

So it is Friday and I love that. :) Especially when my project manager assigned me yesterday a feature request to implement that he estimated to take no more than two days, which was right. 👍

Several years ago, I interviewed for a popular site and it was the only one of the many interviews I did that suffer that did Google-style whiteboard problems and nobody peppered me. I didn't recall the optional way to reverse a linked list right there and then. I think I came up with the right solution and failed to communicate it well.

When we got done, I could feel their eyes trying to burn holes in me for wasting their time.

I don't know which one is worse.
Freezing of laptop while am important demonstration or battery dying in the same situation.
I forgot the charger back home and the only thing client could make out was that the software we made bricked my laptop right after opening it and that I was making excuses to cover it.

Or is it my life that has impacted coding? I'm so glad I was born in the right time. I can't even imagine what I would do instead of coding if I had to live in say, the middle ages.

I find myself saying something along the lines of "This should work." or "That will fixed it" multiple times a day. I can't remember the last time I said that and was right.

Today I solved issues I didn't cause and took International phone calls while on the toilet to help corporate.
Bug fixing can be a shit job, at least I was in the right place for it.

I got so inspired when a chrome extension i made ,was used every day and is an important part of my every day student and development workflow.

It's on github right now.

None of my localhost calls were getting through, either through postman or through app. I wasted nearly an hour and then realised my NO_PROXY was configured with ; instead of , I wanna kill myself right now 😫

I just styled something that appears to be an "parent" style change when a certain "child" was hovered.

Vanilla CSS. I think I've seen it all now.
My brain is spaghetti right now 🤪

Anyone remember my rant about Go and GTK? Well, the main problem was that it was 3 AM, I've since completed it, and have begun to refactor that spaghetti mess.

I feel so good right now.

Me and my mates rent a flat near the beach to work together on some code. We usually live in Saigon Vietnam which is a very nusy and polluted city. So beach is nice.

However，we went from office houra to full on， waking up and having breakfast at 5pm some days and others ant 2Am....

Right now i love on 12 hour day cycles.

Anyyyways. I also learnt to code this year.

So right now i was dreaming... And i did not dreami was coding， but my dream seemed to be organized like a code. For a split second，my mind was between the two worlds.... I actually thought to myself that i was surely a robot!!!

Who in the right mind, would use NULL as an identifier for an essential part of their library and then NOT document it anywhere.
I spend approx 5 hours today, hunting down why my code was segfaulting.

Was just asked why a react project keeps on throwing CI error that path not found, saw the OS was windows and my reply was:

I don't dare using Nodejs/React on Windows, on *nix machine or that thing will keep on messing up

I hope I was right in my response :S

One hour passed and all I did is trying to fix React Native project that is refusing to compile which was perfectly working couple of days ago. Life is fun right?

10 years ago when I started this path I was undecided between computer science and helicopter pilot. I made the right decision!

Was going through my rants and started deleting ones that I thought were dumb. There were more than a handful. What I did *not* know was that your +1 status doesn't keep past +1's. If you delete a rant - those +1's go away...lol serves me right for posting sub par rants in the first place, dont you think? 😝

Since we're sharing traffic lights... Today I was running towards a green lad with a boner all day.

Talk about poor design choices, right...

I had a lunch lecture on AI today, and the guy who gave it was like: don't worry AI is like really stupid right now it won't take over the world. in fact, AI right now is about as smart as a mouse!

my thoughts: how good are you at catching mice? because I don't feel like running after one for sure

I just had the scariest hallucination.

felt like my work table was slowly flipping towards me.
similar to how you feel right before you fall when you over tilt your chair when sitting.

I was hired as a wpf dev for a large scale project and I was told that the backend is perfectly complete and that I am able to work right away, then after I started working, I noticed that every request I sent was returning a 500 internal error, I thought it was a problem on my end, but later I found out that they didn't even implement the api yet, it was just a "reference" for devs, which basically means that I should work and give them a perfectly functional app without testing anything at all.

The reviewer said one of the code lines was indented wrong and move four spaces to the left so rather than arguing I did, then his response was..."Sorry, I meant three."

He was wrong both times and it should have been to the right...an if else the previous dev hadn't indented.

That seems like a lot of drama for some spacing.

How much arguments you need to change your opinion?

Once I was lead developer, new guy came and he was impossible in his quest to be right. We would argue for three hours, while time passed away. Every day arguments over slack...

!rant

A colleague of mine has made the right and brave decision to quit. For her it's absolutely the right decision but I hate how the company was OK and did nothing to keep her. I'd like to give her something small when she leaves. I was thinking about a book. Does anyone have any suggestions that might be a nice going-away and good-luck present for a valued colleague?

Is there a book or something similar in size that they really cherish and wish they had had sooner?

Did A big stupid thing right now

Deleted a web page, which took me three days to write. Very pissed right now. Should have added to GitHub repo

I started working on a new file on my project. After I finished working on the project I started doing something which didnt worked out. So I deleted the local version of the repo since the repo was backed up on the server. But the file that I completed last night was not yet added to the repo.

So I just read the Blink to "Poke the Box" and one question it raised was.

If you had no obstacles and unlimited resources (I guess like if you could retire right now and do anything you want), what would you do?

For myself I couldn't really think of something/a goal/big project that would keep me interested...

(I vaguely remember maybe there was a Weekly Rant about this...)

So, if I was to emigrate, should I come to your country?

I'll finish my bachelors in Comp Sci next May and Ireland isn't really livable right now with property rental prices. Time to look elsewhere I think.

Right, so I know I'm smashing this server right now, but I didn't even know this was possible!

I guess talking to a duck helps after all although my duck was actually writing an email to business explaining an issue I am having in a requested change.

Right before I hit send, I go... Ah I get it now!

That saved me from some embarrassment :)

"I'm sorry my dear new client but i was having a deep conversation with my rubber duck, I'll be right there with you"

I went to a meeting full of business senior management and IT senior management and proceeded to dress them down for treating me and my team like code monkeys. I was quite pointed in my criticism. Now, I'm just trying to deliver to minimize the blowback. I was right, but not my finest example of communication.

who's so stressed out right now? me.

why? i need to change the access token in my code because it was changed

why is that stressful? because there is no variable for it, it was hardcoded

who coded that? me.

when? when the whole dev team was drunk asf

fml

I asked our professor for help, because the code that I exactly copied from her lecture wasn't working.

I forgot to erase my trace('wtf'); code that is literally on every function (mouse_over,mouse_down,mouse_out).

Right after she saw the code, she looked at me like and I was like.....

Lol this is actually funny

It was a promotion that involved doing more work but didn't involve me getting a change in title or pay

Thing is tho... The promotion was caused due to developers leaving left right and center and I left shortly after as well...so I guess it makes sense that they maybe saw that I was planning to leave *shrugs*

One of our developer told that my code is ugly to our project manager. And my response was 'I know right! By the way your code also sucks. Fair enough.'

thought about buying an entertaining magazine while grocery shopping as the kids got theirs too. i was delighted to find a beginners guide to python (right beside the xxx-zines 🤔 ) but after a quick glance embarrassed it was 10 bucks for like the first two sololearn chapters.

Stating the obvious when writing comments. 🙈

I used to this when I was starting to learn how to code and let someone read it, 'cause it's better to have comments than nothing, right? 😂 I was wrong.

But that led me to improve writing informative comments and self-documenting codes.

FUCK!!! I JUST FINISHED WRITING THE MOST AWESOME RANT BUT THE APP CRASHED RIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO POST....

TLDR: I wrote an old app and now need it again and amazingly it works...

This pic is now not so effective anymore but that was how I was feeling when I was writing the original