When a traffic light has a merge conflict.

Admin: "Wait, I noticed unusual traffic."

Me: "What is it?"

Admin: "Looks like we have a bot here."

Me: "A bot? Didn't know we are so popular."

Admin: "It makes constantly login requests through our API, it already surpassed 600.000! I will ban it right away."

Me: "wait, that just sounds like my bot.."

Admin: "DUDE, WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

When there is bug, you don't know of, it can end up quite embarrassing.

Well, that was quick 😅

Don't get stuck in traffic, you will get ideas 😂😂

Global internet traffic:

1992: 100 GB/day
Today: 20K GB/second

This shit is real. Entertainment in traffic xD

Sometimes I wish I can control life like CSS.

Example: traffic{ float: left}

I was googling what happens when an ambulance gets stuck in traffic, but was reminded that I am a dev...

Fucking german highways, man!

It's very much fun to stress test one of your own servers and see how well it handles huge traffic loads 😊

Advanced Traffic Simulation

Yesterday Gitlab had severe issues.
Somehow their database replication had split and ALL of the traffic went over one server.
I absolutely love how transparent they were about this issue and that they shared what exactly they were doing.

I really enjoy my job engineering high-traffic sites for a large adult network!
Watching pornsites @office every day (probably getting fired if I DON'T) and see the customers spending $$$ like crazy :)

Time for a rant!.

Got a client I've just built a website for and they went live 2 weeks ago.

This morning he sends me an email saying that the website is not good enough because it's not making any sales or getting any traffic.

I send an email back asking if he has a marketing / SEO company... The response was I thought you do that as you said the site would be SEO friendly!!!.

I'm a developer! Not a marketer, fuck off.

“If she saves you 100 GB or more inbound traffic per month, she’s the right one.”

— Some guy on Pornhub

I have a pi-hole setup in my network for ad and tracker blocking and am dual-booting my pc.
I recently noticed just how much data windows really is trying to gather from my machine.
So I took the pi-hole graph and you can VERY clearly see the os switch. All this useless traffic coming from windows. (This is with all the privacy relevant options inside the settings already turned off!)

My boss is still forcing us to support IE11. Recently, we started having even more bugs with one of our vendors on IE. We filed bug reports with the vendor to fix it, and they came back with "no. Why would we fix anything for IE11? Not even Microsoft is fixing anything for IE11." Boss's answer: well, let's make a separate component for IE11. Probably using flash and/or silverlight. We asked about redirecting IE traffic to Edge, he said that's "the nuclear option." So, doing the thing that Microsoft suggests, that involves not much work at all is "the nuclear option"; ignoring industry standards and recommendations, introducing well known security vulnerabilities, losing money, and trying to circumvent the vendor that serves out our major product, however, is totally reasonable. Our IE traffic is less than 3% of our users at this point.

Am i the only one that hates Google reCAPTCHA from the body down to the soul ?

- Click the Car
- The Blue Car
- The Truck
- The Truck Bus
- The Bus Truck
- With Blue Light
- Select the Bicycles
- Skip the house
- Find the sign
- With the blue bat
- Purple pink hat
- Click Traffic light
- We mean all Traffic lights
- Select Stores
- With Zebra Crossing
- ...
WTF!!! Just kill me already.

The server for an internal application was acting up, but everything was working fine locally. After an 18 hour day, I just rerouted the traffic to my dev machine and left it on overnight so I could go home.

A piece of me hates myself and also loves myself for that one.

You can work from anywhere... anywhere in the world!

Hmmm... Yeah, right! But not when management likes warm bodies at the office.

I hate, hate, absolutely HATE having to travel to work, spending at least 45min to an hour in traffic just to get to work! 😤😡 And then rinse and repeat to get home... which means I'm up at 5:30 every morning to be at work by 7:30, only to get home past 18:00 - traffic permitting! *sigh* 😩

To IT: I can no longer clone GitHub repos from the command line.

From IT… Hello DevOps engineer…. You’re no longer allowed to use port 22. It’s not safe. All traffic must be port 443.

Really!?

CSS is like #01

Me: think I need to pee...

Google: MODERATE TRAFFIC IN YOUR AREA

So the water dispenser in the kitchen does not have sparkling water, which I love. But there's one in the meeting room down the corridor that has sparkling water!

Like any regular employee of course I filed a request with site manager to upgrate the kitchen dispenser... NOT!

I wrote an app that sits in the taskbar when minimized and shows a traffic light with the status of the meeting room availability so I know when it's clear to go fetch me some of that bubbly goodness!

Goes to first job interview. Great interview but, can you send some code?

-Sure-
Sends requested js, css html files.

Great code, we want to speak to you again!
Goes to second interview, waits 15m, meets the sales department. Sales? Wtf?
Great interview but, can you send more code?
Errr?
We need some native JS to really make sure you can write code.

You could've emailed this request before the interview b*tch. That way id save time hurrying in rain and traffic jams!

Today - after a successful launch of my own GitLab-Server - I finished my other project!

It's a Resouce Panel for my Homeserver to check it's stats like:

- CPU usage
- RAM usage
- Network Traffic
- Disk Space

It works like a charm and only need php <3

If you guys want a download link, I'll send one in :)

Late to office due to traffic. Thought would do some work. I get this the second i switch on my laptop. I am so tired of it. I dont want to even rant about it.

Anyone here uninstalled *Linux* to replace with another OS, or is the traffic all one way?

I disabled javascript in my browser. Amount of shit loading to read shitty article is insane.

I opened chrome devtools and it was 300 requests and 10MB to read 500 words.

Another news portal 250 requests 7MB to see 300 words.

WTF ?

And they’re fighting with internet traffic by lowering movie quality ?

I just add I have pihole with lots of wildcard filters filtering half of internet and fucking adblocker and those numbers are after those filters.

Are you fucking out of your mind ?

Fucking hypocrites.

I finally got remote work! Bye traffic!

In the spirit of true randomness, I like to speculate about aliens. What’s your favorite theory about them? Anything’s fair game: whether they actually exist, methods of propulsion, origins, exobiology, exopolitics, eyewitness reports by credible reporters (pilots, military, air traffic controllers, high-profile political leaders, etc.) whether abductions are real and, if so, why they do it, etc. If you’ve had an encounter, I’d love to hear about it.

My setup looks kinda cool, when the traffic lights turn red.

How to run a successful business:
1. Fire 30% of staff because covid, 'we can't afford you'
2. Be wrong about covid and have higher sales volume than ever
3. Be unable to handle such traffic with limited resources
4. Move EVERYONE, every fucking specialist, every non-people person to customer support and make them refund ALL disputed orders like robots because customers aren't happy
5. $?

I don't get it, really...
A web agency in my city published an ad on a jobs listing website; they search a php programmer who knows about magento. On their website, in the "contact us" page, they say that they are looking for:
- a graphic designer
- junior php dev
- magento dev

I sent my cv; they call me back for an interview.
This morning i went there for the interview; when the interview ended the guy just said to me "well, we don't have any open position at this moment. We make interviews from time to time, just in case in the future we may need help".

Ok. Now 2 things come to my mind:
1- i need a job now; if 3 months from now you call me cause you REALLY need a php dev, i will probably (hopefully) already have another job
2- FFS i lost 2 hours for you: 50 minutes of traffic going, 20 minutes interview and another 50 minutes of traffic going back home...

Just why?

I. HATE. HUMANS!
A family of four lurking side by side on an already extremely small sidewalk? Stop reproducing or I will start kicking your fucking kids in front of the next truck.
Ignoring the traffic laws as a biker and almost crashing into me because you just didn't care for the traffic light? Fuck you! Next time I see you I will stick a steel rod in between your spokes so you fly into the next cars window.
Randomly and spontaneously stoping on the sidewalk while I am at my top walking speed? Next time I will just run you over. With a bulldozer. And than again in reverse. I just don't get people, I guess.

Watching Google Analytics for my company's customer facing tools.

Almost half our traffic is made up of IE and Edge.

In that IE group, somewhere, there is a sad strange little user still on IE 8. Just one.

Poor guy.....

Notice :

Just as all the citizens are advised to use Public Transports so that there's less traffic and its convenient for everyone,
Similarly, everyone it is advisable to use Public WiFis, so that there's less Internet Traffic and everyone gets faster and better Internet services.

An active cooperation is expected from the citizens.
Thank you and have a nice day :)

Fellow dev complaining about server.

Me: My servers could handle the 10x traffic. If they weren't busy apologising for your shit codebase !

*First Rant btw*

Client: But why is it so expensive to host a website? I mean you could host Wordpress on a cheap like 10$/month webspace, right?

Inner me: Bitch, you have a fucked up Symfony 2.1 website that only runs on PHP 5.3 plus a Wordpress site, with a lot of updates not done, plus you have a huge traffic at peak times, like once a week
Me: Well you know, the services you are running require a lot of resources...

On a scale of 1-10:

If you own the domain "Google.com" for 15 minutes, all of the traffic will go to your server/hoster.

How bad will you be sued by your service provider?

Went out with friends last night to celebrate a birthday, on our way back with the train we are asked for our tickets. We had bought a group ticket (for 30€/5 Persons) and showed it to the ticket checker. It was 6:20 am at that point and we were all tired and just wanted to go home, but apparently the ticket was only valid to 6 am (it does not say that anywhere on the ticket and it is called a "9-o'clock day ticket"). That asshole seriously made a record about all of us and took 60€ from everyone of the 5 of us.
The Deutsche Bahn company is the only rail company in my region, there is nothing that could compete with them, so they just shit on their customers. And now they want to privatize the highways too? Stop making public traffic something to pay for! There is no competition if there is only one traffic company with the only highways or train-web in a specific region.

Trying to learn some golang after a break.

Made http / https transparent proxy for personal project.

Mind: You need to add configuration file with domains you allow traffic and block everything else using list of regex.

Me: Ok I can do it, 4 hours later ok done

Mind: Why not make it differently by making list of url you can block and test this shit on fucking ads and stop using adblock that downloads content.

Me: ok that will be handy I can watch websites faster and drop traffic I don’t want to.

Funny fact, it works I broke analytics, logging, quantum shit fucks and even youtube plays ok.

Go is awesome for networking stuff lol.

Hi hackers!
Just not sure about this one:
Is this true?
The closer i get to the router , the more packets i might be able to sniff.
And something else:
I might loose the traffic sent to the other APs while i'm close to one another.

Is there any way to capter all packets?
(I also have wired access to network but since the socket isolates the traffic let me know if there is any other method)

Thanks

Black Friday fail.

Local online store totally failed last year on BF, so they spent the whole week on news, radio, print ads, newsletter raving about how they upgraded the systems for BF and are expecting double the traffic of last year and are super ready. 60 seconds into BF, site went totally tits up, was not till 01:45 that anyone could access it again, and according to uptimerobot, they were tits up for about 55% of the day.

Google:- Google home is using machine learning to remove all type of back noise like traffic, air, and others so the call experience goes smoother.

Microsoft:- In Skype we are using machine learning to catch all type of back noise and mix it with your voice. Skype will try every possible way to make your call experience as bad as possible. Every type of noise Trafic, Air, hardware, your breath if there is nothing! the software will cut your voice and send only a few parts.

For rating rants:
count the number of fucks/curses and find the rank of a given rant!

0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
51-55: WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENT
56-60: MID LIFE CRISIS
61-65:MASTURBATING WITH WORDS
66+ : MASTER GRAND WIZARD

Unit tests be like:
(normal speed is 100km/h)

Commuting to and from work; robs me my precious 6 hours a day
: (

My mum - "Something to do with traffic lights"

Because I told her I was designing an Ethernet traffic generator device.

Often I hear that one should block spam email based on content match rather than IP match. Sometimes even that blocking Chinese ranges in particular is prejudiced and racist. Allow me to debunk that after I've been looking at traffic on port 25 with tcpdump for several weeks now, and got rid of most of my incoming spam too.

There are these spamhausen that communicate with my mail server as much as every minute.
- biz-smtp.com
- mailing-expert.com
- smtp-shop.com

All of them are Chinese. They make up - rough guess - around 90% of the traffic that hits my edge nodes, if not more.

The network ranges I've blocked are apparently as follows:
- 193.106.175.0/24 (Russia)
- 49.64.0.0/11 (China)
- 181.39.88.172 (Ecuador)
- 188.130.160.216 (Russia)
- 106.75.144.0/20 (China)
- 183.227.0.0/16 (China)
- 106.75.32.0/19 (China)
.. apparently I blocked that one twice, heh
- 116.16.0.0/12 (China)
- 123.58.160.0/19 (China)

It's not all China but holy hell, a lot of spam sure comes from there, given how Golden Shield supposedly blocks internet access to the Chinese citizens. A friend of mine who lives in China (how he got past the firewall is beyond me, and he won't tell me either) told me that while incoming information is "regulated", they don't give half a shit about outgoing traffic to foreign countries. Hence all those shitty filter bag suppliers and whatnot. The Chinese government doesn't care.

So what is the alternative like, that would block based on content? Well there are a few solutions out there, namely SpamAssassin, ClamAV and Amavis among others. The problem is that they're all very memory intensive (especially compared to e.g. Postfix and Dovecot themselves) and that they must scan every email, and keep up with evasion techniques (such as putting the content in an image, or using characters from different character sets t̾h̾a̾t̾ ̾l̾o̾o̾k̾ ̾s̾i̾m̾i̾l̾a̾r̾).

But the thing is, all of that traffic comes from a certain few offending IP ranges, and an iptables rule that covers a whole range is very cheap. China (or any country for that matter) has too many IP ranges to block all of them. But the certain few offending IP ranges? I'll take a cheap IP-based filter over expensive content-based filters any day. And I don't want to be shamed for that.

Not dev related but still a rant:

My company decided that all the network traffic should go throu a virus scanner. But they don't know what the fuck they are doing, so now EVERY valid SSL cert gets rejected by our browsers because the virus-scanner breaks the SSL encryption.

Anyone open for a pishing attack?

My company hired a new person on my team. He was scheduled to start on a Monday but pushed back a week at the last minute. The rumor around the office was that his flight home that weekend was canceled, but he didn’t notify our boss of it until minutes before he was expected in.

Next Monday he didn’t come in, and no one could get in touch with him. We eventually discovered that he was in jail. He claimed he was pulled over on the way to work for a traffic violation, then found out he had an outstanding warrant from a traffic ticket mix-up over ten years ago. Unsurprisingly, when he did make it in later that week, he was immediately fired.

I’m wondering how reasonable it was to fire him. A responsible, organized friend of mine also got in trouble from a traffic ticket she was never notified of, so I know his story isn’t impossible and doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. On the other hand, missing your start day because you’re in jail is never a good look — doubly so after he pushed back his start date the first time. My company has a very open culture so I would have some room to encourage us not to put inappropriate weight on what is often a very flawed legal system.

Frontend Developer wanted. Required skills: C#, PHP, MySQL, HTML, CSS, Jquery, Java, JavaScript, React, Angular, Vue, Laravel, Wordpress, Shopify, Docker, Git, SVN, Ruby.

Must have at least 3 years of working experience in a high level company. Only worked for A+ clients and ultra high traffic websites.

Also nice would be UX/UI, Design Systems, Wireframing.

Experienced in sales and cleaning floors. Getting coffee putting music on etc

Salary indication: €1800

Can code awesomeness for my clients.
Can drive traffic to almost any website.
Can turn half-baked ideas into money for clients.
Have absolutely no game at all with the opposite sex.

Sometimes the tradeoff of being a geek sucks.

- Get's out of bus with some elderly people.
- one of them wants to cross the street, so he waits at the traffic light

That traffic light only switches, when a pedestrian touches a sensor

- I check if the sensor had been touched, it wasn't
- Secretly touches the sensor, just like a character from assasins creed kills when bypassing a person

- Light gurned greeen soon afterwards.
- Feels like a secret hero

Wanted to kick off my causine from the network (he keeps downloading and eats all the traffic) with my kali.
Guess what?
I forgot to bring my wifi adapter and my kali was installed on vm which means no chance to send deauth packets!

Allright! Maybe next time 😬

I was wondering if anybody gets to sniff my wifi and finally finds my pass, so he is able to listen to my encrypted traffic and fully decrypt it (websites without https)!
That is far worse than just using my bandwidth!!
What do you think?
What else the attacker can get?

College firewall blocks ssh traffic :/ Can't use github :(

"Wait, we're logging all web traffic now?"
Me: You're the security engineer, you asked him to do it!
"I know but I didn't think he would actually do it!"

🙄😑

Oh look. The monitoring channel is in flames, smartphone is vibrating so hard it's having a seizure.

Hm. Nah it's fine. Not my...

Damn it. Incoming call. -.-

I'm actually on vacation (more like you need to trim down overtime before management get's angry).

They decided to test the new hardware / os stack I set up in the last weeks. I'd actually be happy about it If I wasn't on vacation and would be part in something that I invested a lot of time...

Well now I am. Guess what. It's running too good.

And that's not a joke. It's partly due to an upgrade in infrastructure (got rid of some last remaining 1 Gbps networks)… but also because I changed quite a lot on the OS / VM side plus we changed from XEN to Proxmox... With major tweaks, too.

The whole stack can now handle peak traffic where it would choke before, and even go beyond the old peak traffic.

Enough of introduction, the simple reason why shit burned down was because they tried out the current development branch and let it ran.

The development branch had an currently unfinished ratelimiter framework, since I didn't had time for an full burn in and didn't knew what the maxima / limits were. And since I hadn't finished that, I didn't finish the traffic shaping either.

Hm. Guess it's not good when you let a bunch of heavy parallelized data generators / analyzers run for free....

In the end, we simply shotgunned the docker development machines, because thanks to network congestion / retransmissions and feedback, they were not really cooperative via network / REST.

But hey: To infinity and beyond. XD

These guys have fortiguard installed on their server and it’s blocking traffic to my url but they are so convinced I am the one with the issue, spent two hours convincing them and the issue was resolved the moment they listened 🤦🏿

"How many cars, do you think, are in the city?"

I am here to code, not count traffic.

suddenly our web got a lot of traffic. So, instead of increasing our server (we (think) don't have permission for that), we praying until the traffic back to normal.

10 minutes later, it does.

"Now a day's", I disagree.

And how does it boost website traffic?
These "articles" are just

no

I am scared.

Google detected unusual traffic from my home network?

When I search anything in incognito mode, this page appears.

No incognito mode -> Google search works.

Feels like an attempt to force me to use my google account.

Ran a script on production to scrape ~1000 sites continously and update our ~50.000 productions from the data. On the same server as our site was running. Needless to say, with traffic and scraping, our server had almost 100% CPU and ram usage all the time for 2 weeks until I realised my fuckup

Not planning for it at all, then see the service gain traction and traffic explodes through the roof.

Not gonna do that mistake again!

The taxi driver has Rubber Duck setting in front of him looking forward to the traffic... Another level of debugging...

This was a long time ago, when I was working part time in my uni helpdesk. as part of the uni IT service, they offered ISP services at the dorms. It was cheap, and fast. This essentially allowed students living in the dorms to connect thier personal computers to the uni LAN. Then one day...
An ARP poison malware infected some of those computers. An arp poison attack is simple (look at ettercap) - it redirects network traffic via the affected computer, and adds malware to webtraffic to infect more computers. One of these on a network is bad enough, but when there more then one... traffic was redirected a lot. this caused the Dorm switches to collapse under the load. Fun times to work at the helpdesk...
The IT guys came up with a solution for this: they blocked the arp poision attacks at the firewall, and then disabled the switch port for the infected computer for 24 hours. so, when someone called with 'I have no internet!', we told them to bring us the computer, and installed an AV on it.
3-4 month the problem was cleared.

Slept in this morning, left the house 20 minutes late, got to work an hour and a half late.

What?!

!dev

What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!

Added a new feature. Saw no traffic. Removed it thinking no one liked it. Receive a bunch of angry emails.

I forgot to tag shit properly. FML.

User: *provides only traffic video*
Coco:

00h - "Let's just try to finish this one feature..."
Suddenly you hear the birds singing and the traffic starting out there, coming from that little sunshine.

Me (out loud in a meeting): "we currently have a SQL Express license, but the traffic with the additional servers is causing crashes when the cache fills up. We need to upgrade to the standard version.”

Follow up email from mngr planning to retire in 6 months currently making roughly 3x my salary: "See if we can get a proposal to purchase better Sequel software and install."

Me:
(-_-;) ... ಠ︵ಠ ...

┻┻︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵┻┻

This is why I started studying programming. You have to be able to work remotely.

Traffic lights optimizer. Imagine big AI being plugged to all city's traffic lights and changing all durations in order to adjust all of them, if we add smart cars connected to it we might remove traffics at all. It is way ahead in future but would be cool.

Big names in the EU is visiting this city today. Traffic is fked up and I have been at the office real early today. Good thing that I brought my Switch so I can play some games while I am alone

!rant
Reddit comment on a thread about Joomla! sites being vulnerable to SQL-injections:

"Joomla sites are so infested they became sentient.

Joomla sites needs no webmaster, some one else will administer it for you.

Joomla sites have very good SEO, specially in "v1agra c1alis p3nis size"

Traffic count with Joomla is high, all the bots breaking all the vulnerabilities count for somethin'."

😂 Pure gold.

Client: THIS IS CRITICAL, SOME DATA HAS BEEN DELETED, WHAT ZE FUUK HAPPENED, UNDO THIS FAST
Us: so after carefully reviewing the code, related resources and the network traffic we conclude that was never sent in the first place.
*closes issue*

I'm glad we got such a meaningful bug report on the same day a production system started failing, one big deployment that that was like a boss with 3 phases, an unnecessary long meeting and an app developer that that wanted me to break HTTP standards.

Game reviews on Steam are now like, “Not recommended. Seemed like a good game, but the story is linear and there’s really nothing to do.” …with approximately 180hrs of playtime on record for a $25 game.

Do us all a favor and please continue to stare at your phone while walking into oncoming traffic.

Sitting at traffic lights on my way home from work thinking about the programming behind how often the windscreen wipers are triggered, how to store the values of each wiper setting in a meaningful data type, and how to handle the event of changing wiper settings eg. to ensure the wipers aren't triggered immediately when increasing the frequency.

Wish my mind could rest when I'm outwith work but I experience this sort of thing worse after drinking alcohol. Must have a problem.

>Client complains about a 30 minute downtime around midnight
>Client also pays only for a single VM on a HV that they don't even own themselves

>Replies with an offer of how to make the setup more resilient, going from 1 VM to 2 LBs/FE loadbalanced through BGP, and distributing traffic through HaProxy onto 2 BE machines that in turn talk to a Postgres Cluster with RepMgr for dynamic failover.

>No reply so far

Hmmm :^)

This must be the most unforgettable Chinese New Year to me.
People are checking body temperature everywhere, and restricting traffic. All theaters, parks, any public places are shut down. People are told to stay home, which is what I have been doing in the past 2 weeks. Most of the time I was coding. It's kind of frustrating. I don't know how long this will last. Situation looks severe from the news.

That moment when your online competition reaches an almost godlike plane of existence as SEO strategists by placing the literal google analytics code in the literal head of the website. Organic traffic through the roof.

My school blocks all UDP traffic going outside their network. 1 - 65535. Which in turn means that I had to switch to TCP for my VPN to connect. Now my VPN is slow as shit. -.-

Id really appreciate if i didnt have to wait in the traffic for a fucking hour the one fucking day i have to be @ office at a set time

Not having to deal with traffic or public transport. It would save me 2-3 hours a day

Ever turned the music off when facing a serious problem while coding? I do it too when driving in busy traffic. At least turn the volume way down.

Corporate IT blocks all network traffic, whitelists port 80 and 443 😡

... cos port number is the best predictor of security threats, amirite? 😒

Best thing about the flood here is Houston is getting to work from home for 3 weeks straight. Getting to get my home office in order and avoid traffic is awesome. Not really a rant. Not really sorry.

I'm stuck in road traffic and it's giving me headache, i wish every driver knows at least FIFO rule, if it's on a computer the CPU will quit his job because of all those stupid processes :/

I just started using noise canceling earbuds and holy cow does it change things.

People talking and traffic blasting down the street in front of our office are my two biggest distractions on any given workday and I haven't heard any of it all day. It's heavenly.

I also have a brown noise machine I sleep next to and I've started dreaming again because I get actual restful sleep again.

Aaaand my website crashes constantly due to high traffic...

You can work from home! Heck, you can work from anywhere in the world... we just want you to be at the client 65% of the time!

Whaaaaaa... what? Are you fucking kidding me? How is that helping me avoid having to sit in traffic?

It’s still WFH in India. So, everything at home is a distraction. Indian households are noisy ones. Heavy traffic, loud music, constant interruptions by family members.

Appreciating the fact that I can code in my pyjamas without people judging me though.

Client on his 40-inch 4K monitor: "Why is there so much white space on this page?"

Me: "Mobile traffic accounts for 70% of traffic..."

Client: "Can we just make it a little more interesting?"

When you stuck in traffic

I was wondering how a sysadmin would know if the user sending malicious traffic is the real attacker or his account has been hacked ?
(Also probable that the attacker has faked his mac address to user's device)

Duolingo used to be better. New updates and restrictions are shit. Specially the whole "take a heart away for a mistake, five mistakes and you can't use the app for hours". Like, I get it, you couldn't manage the traffic. But this is ridiculous. Also, where did the lesson overviews go?

wtf is happening? 420 clones from 43 people and 0 traffic in the past week?

when cortana knows youre a workaholic and reminds you its time to leave home to go to work "now" so u avoid traffic... on a Saturday

! dev. I had to pick up a parcel at lunchtime. Coming out of the shop, there was a parking enforcement officer (what we used to call traffic wardens) standing in front of the door, fiddling with his ticket machine, blocking my exit.

"Excuse me, you can't park there", I said.

He wasn't very amused, miserable bastard.

!dev

Two containers had accident this morning. Result? Wasted 45 mins in traffic and my 90 mins commute to office became 135 mins.

// I really don't care about causalities and stuff. Is it me alone who is too self centered? 🤔

I had an idea because the Czech Railways keep complaining that someone needs to develop a system that would detect cars and people on railroad crossings... I would call it TCAS - Traffic Collision Avoidance System (just like the one used in airplanes) ... someone already made one, and named it TCAS :-|

I just finished running my first Arduino program, I am perfectly able to switch the led on and off.
Should I add it to the CV!!!
Or should I build the whole traffic light three leds first?!?
I am confused....

Not fully supported anything below IE11 since january. Surprisingly very few questions, negative feedback or negative impact on site traffic. Just pure joy at work. "Caniuse? - Yes, you can use."

I worked for a company that was in entertainment news. Specifically rock music.

On the terrible night of the Battaclan (spelling?) terror attacks in Paris. Few years ago our site was one of the first to run the story (the main attack happened at a rock concert). Anyway the tech debt that we’d been complaining about for months reared it’s head. The site got so much traffic that it was just fucked all night. Literally couldn’t get the databases back up for about 7 straight hours.

So hyped cause my side project had +20% traffic last week !!!!

Turns out it was all coming from 'Secret.ɢoogle.com You are invited! Enter only with this ticket URL. Copy it. Vote for Trump!'

Google Analytics how easily are you fooled ?

Why do I do this, it's 05:45 and I'm just about to leave for site it's a 3 hour drive if traffic is kind. By the time I get home it will be 20:30 hours at least. Grr long days

So I just discovered an awesome feature provided by my mobile provider for only 0.99€ per month.

Yeah, Deep Packet Inspection is only 0.99 extra.

Why should I pay my provider for watching my traffic? Sure, they allert me when downloading viruses, but that is a lame excuse, especially for mobile use.

80% of my internet traffic is used by npm install

Reasons to dislike our work VPN when working remotely: Forces all traffic to be routed through it, not only the important internal stuff.

For some reason, I just dislike having everything I do potentially recorded and/or at least slowed down.

Fuck LinkedIn
Fuck their closed API
Microsoft always steals your PRIVATE info, but is scared of us using their PUBLIC info
Fucking morons
I can just use selenium and still have all the info I need
Then why the fuck would you close API to approved only
Can't you just track the traffic????

Who the fuck comes to the idea of printing the local IP address on the Fucking screen?

Yes, I know that it is not remotely accessable (only when there is no port forwarding set for that ip), but think of that this way: Someone manages to get in that network. Without scanning the network, you would have your first victim. You could analyzer the traffic of that victim and find more victims. And so on

Worst interview, had to travel half a day, tired already and got grilled on how to debug a overloaded complex network schematic and no additional information, just told that traffic was being dropped. I'm not a network engineer and had no clue where to even start. Manager had mixed papers and thought I was interviewing for a senior position. I was fresh from uni.

For years I felt like an imposter for not rooting my smartphones, and not owning any raspbis. - Now finally I got an pi 4 and installed my so long desired pi-hole.

Quite disturbing that at least 30-40% of my traffic is known ad shit. Such an infestation.

Needed to explain senior Dev what a VPN connection is and why i use it for most of my traffic. He still doesn't understand why i use it... :/

Anybody else feel like their Internet traffic constanty being monitored after downloading pen testing tools?

Have our identities been added to lists of potential cyber criminals :/

Thoughts?

(For ethical purposes - involving your own site's security!!)

Microsoft needs to get a clue from the rising traffic in GitLab. People don't trust them anymore.

Just reached my office.

Roads were flooded so, I pull my motorbike to other lane and drive while traffic coming from another side.

Felt like fast and furious. Now, I am smiling like Budha and my co-worker giving me strange looks, like I got enlightenment.

Manager signed up an affiliate last night to our affiliate tracking software around 11pm. I get an email at 10am asking why I don't have them added to our internal database yet.

"because I was sleeping n shit"

I also explained to him it's not mission critical because it takes 3-5 days before an affiliate will start sending traffic anyways.

How much do you earn from your Mobile Apps(from ads)? Whats the best paying Ad network in your opinion? What to do when Admob reduces most of the revenue(at the end of the month) saying "invalid traffic"?

Pseudo-flexible working hours suck. I get the "choice" to start work between 7:30-9:30 AM. I'm a night owl so waking up at 6AM is not an option. Why can't they just allow to start at 10AM and finish at 6:30PM? Between 7:30 & 9:30 is peak rush hour and I'm bound to lose 1h30 in traffic for 30km (normally it would take half an hour) and start my workday pissed off.

Get ready for another influx of traffic.

Habitual Monday rant...

Stuck in traffic for an hour and a half!

"Everybody in advertising is blonde, beautiful, families are happy, care are never in traffic, everything is shiny, food looks like it’s incredibly taseful. I ask myself, 'How stupid are we?'" - Oliveiro Toscani

when you realize that performance issue you just could not figure out is the SYS admin taking a full back of your production machine during peek traffic hours

Because my work is remote, whether I’m in the office or remoting in via VPN, it’s still the same. I just don’t have to spend an hour in traffic each way. If anything, things have been busier.

Some <super smart> person ran DHCP in production lab (without disconnecting from main network and/or using firewall)
, now the admin turned all the ports off and went home.
Traffic gens are also unavailable now so are upgrade servers.
Result: I can't run my work over the weekend and the reports are expected on Monday.

Not so bad : I'll run on Monday.
Bad part : This fucking shit takes 2 days to do everything on the rack.

Meeting about brand new web app system to replace an ancient MFC app.
director: can we just use the old subsystem manager? (horrible mix of management ui and SOAP listeners in the same app...)
developers: No, that's an MFC app... not even just a server.
director: but... can't you just plug it in? you're using web components right?
developers: *weary sigh*

Do you say to police officers "Please stop me if I'm breaking any laws"?
Do you say to traffic wardens "Please fine me if I'm parked illegally"?
Do you say to rental agents "Please reject my application if I don't meet the requirements"?
Do you say to Restauranteurs "Please turn me away if I don't have a reservation"?
Do you say to Airport staff "Please confiscate my item if it's prohibited"?

...

...then why would you say to a Facebook Group Admin "Please delete if not allowed"?

OMG!!! Stop with the image captchas, Shopify and other sites that do this! Good grief! Is this my life now? Budgeting extra time with my clients just to log into websites? That last login took a full 5 minutes of clicking on traffic lights, buses, cars, crosswalks, and parking meters. I swear, when the Singularity apocalypse happens, we'll be attacked by traffic lights, buses, cars, crosswalks, and parking meters.

because someone should develop a ghost process zoom runs in background on macos if you install their app, doing god knows what. also, someone should make an arrangement with chinese govt to route ALL zoom traffic through china.

Deploying at 2am to "minimize impact" because that's our time of lowest traffic

Maybe I could write a simulation using an ai to control traffic lights to assasinate crude disgusting wastes of space with as many brain cells as they have toes

It's raining in Mumbai like there's no tomorrow

The only reason I don’t drive a car is because it has windows and I am a Linux user.

A miracle! 2 Days left to waste 500 MB of traffic.
Almost as bad as having reached the max after 20 days.

!rant

Waze is actually devRant for drivers / commuters...

On a side-note - Cluj-Napoca is a nightmare on monday mornings before 8 am... :/

!dev

Everybody keeps telling me that public transport is better than driving a car. So SBB (rail company) is doing some constuction on a station and i have to take a rail replacement bus. Which is now stuck in traffic.
So like an overly full bus with the heating stuck to max is just creeping along the road. Past a single station that is on repair!
Fuck it im going by car to school even if parking is expensive af!

Where do you go to figure out new jargon/terms?

I found
The Jargon File
Beej's Guide to Network Programming
Hackterms.com
Sidewaysdictionary.com

But they seem to have low traffic

Is Wikipedia the king?

Got the job. Not sure I want the job. Or any job in my field. A quarter century feels like too long for any profession. But I don’t have any other marketable skills. Maybe I’ll be a truck driver. Or wash peoples’ car windows when they’re stopped at traffic signals.

You have 1.44 MB of outgoing traffic. You can use it however you like. You can send data anywhere you wish.

Your task is to make as much money as you can. What would you do?

So I want to know, can I shill at least one of my "working" sites here? I want to do measure some organic/natural traffic on this so original site(/sarcasm)

Also Im want to know if there are people here interested to help me out with my other site if they could ... specially since my finances will perhaps force me soon to take a local (retail) job to afford "normal" living

Is it just me or is the 'storefront' test for CAPTCHA much harder than the schoolbus or traffic light? Could be my diminishing eyesight, or bourbon too.

Had been to an interview today. It was renowned Bank which was hiring for a position of SSE.

You know what!! I was not allowed inside the building because I was not carrying my original driving license with me. What the fuck?? 😡😠Even traffic police won't ask for an original license!! (at least in India)

Marketing material for a RasPi-based device that, supposedly, secures all your traffic from hackers by (translated) "encrypting traffic to your router" and "sharding and dispersing your data, so nobody can read it".

Stay tuned to see what it actually does (waiting for an email reply from it's creator)

What would your solution to daily commute traffic be if it were a solvable programming question?

Ps - I'm sitting in traffic right now and want to kill myself.

Got a new job. Its all good. Fun work, great colleagues and good pay. However, last week they mandated some new surveillance tech so all network traffic is unencrypted, logged, stored and analyzed.

Should I stay or should I go? I am big into privacy. What would you do?

So I reverse engineered the
protocol of QONQR: World in Play and made a mitmproxy addon running locally inside termux that can see when I launch in the game and uses Termux:API to notify me when my ingame resources are replenished.
I direct the traffic through mitmproxy using Drony. I configured it so that by default Drony passes traffic directly to the internet except if it comes from the QONQR app.
The problem is that while Drony is running, there is a chance of network traffic being corrupted so I often get spammed by connection and ssl errors.
So I have to either continue sacrificimg my network integrity or stop getting assistance ppaying QONQR :-/

Does anyone know an alternative to Drony (basically an app that can connect you to a proxy without root using the android vpn api, if possible with filtering by app or ip)?
Also does anyone else have problems with drony on Android 9 or other versions? I don't really have an opportunity to test it.

Edit: It only took 4 tries to post this yay

I just noticed that whenever I get a captcha to prove I'm human, it's always images from the street.. cars, crosswalks, traffic lights, trucks, bikes, tractors etc etc...
I just want to know... Who's ML model I've been helping to train for the last i don't know how many years?!? 😤

I should've realized something smelled funny the moment i understood that a bot is asking me to prove my humanity to it, by doing something that a bot should be able to do by now.

Backstory: my father used to work in software development and IT support in companies with medium to large sized networks. I decided to catch up with him a few weeks ago and he asked me thus almighty question

"So if I installed another router in our house, does that mean I can double the amount of traffic going from my computer to the fibre modem?"

All respect has been lost, I was ashamed.

September 3rd. Let the traffic madness begin!

Why has google decided that every night at 7.30 to notify me that the traffic is light in my area?
Why would I care, the traffic is always light here and it's 7.30pm...im always to drunk to drive by now!

wait,
if there are 3.4 Billions FaceBook fake users, that means than there are also at least 3.4 Billions fake email accounts around. Jeez.

And the spam traffic estimates are at 260Billions email per day or 260B/3.4B=76 emails sent by each fake email accounts per day. Much less as probably fake email accounts are more.

So, only 76 spam emails sent per account per day. I think there is still room for a big improvement

Hanging out on DevRant while sitting in horrible traffic in Houston, TX!

Fun one on the subway:

Make a little prompt script for your phone or computer

>welcome to Washington, D. C., Mr. Davis
>what would you like to view?
>1-traffic lights
>2-subway
>3-mainframe
3
>Subway Control
>1-emergency shutdown
>2-accelerate line
>3-shutdown line

Interact with script while on subway, watch reactions. Wearing dark glasses also helps.

I used to work in project tailored for specific companies used by at most 100 daily users.
Right now I work in a project with 1mln unique daily users. I am on a call where it was decided to scrap one feature because it generates "only" 20k monthly usages. This is more traffic generated then all my provides projects combined :D

!dev
Please enjoy this customer review I intercepted. Guess the company type and name that requested the feedback.

"______ drivers liberally show how bad it is to work for these companies.
Three quarters of all packages arrive damaged.
They park wherever they want.
No regard for traffic, people, property nor parcels.
Redefining rock bottom.
Not this delivery. Always. Everywhere. For a strong decade now."

Waiting for a job interview to happen for the last hour. After a long week and day, stuck in the traffic getting here, paid unnecessary money to the taxi. Thinking about leaving the company without doing the interview for the last 15 minutes. Fuck job interviews anyway.

For the past one week I have been getting late for work due to this fucking traffic. This shit sucks. And I am stuck solving shitty bugs in a fuckghetti code. I feel burnt out as fuck and now I have to work Saturday as well.

One of our integration solutions (via Webservices) had some issues. I had to switch on http logging to see what might be the issue.

On average, those logs are around 20MB when there is a bunch of traffic. But the solution brought a heap pf traffic through, those logs shot up to 1GB in size.

Had to delete the logs, since they took a million years to open, and told our vendors that the logs are not showing us anything 😅 I told no lies

Yay my first day back and I'm 1 hour and 15 minutes late because the main road I take into work was a parking lot. And then I have to go directly into the world's longest meeting. And I have a peer review to do so I guess no dev soon for me today.

What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed? Don't look I'm changing!

people call me insane

they'll see

THEY'LL ALL SEE

***ONCE I FINISH THIS SCRIPT I WILL PROVE TO YOU ALL THAT YOU CAN HIDE TRAFFIC IN GAMES***

i'm tired

Half an hour late for work because I got 'stuck in traffic' i.e. can't stop scrolling devRant...

The usual Thursday morning meeting with one of my clients shifted to Friday this week.

And I started it with a slow traffic. 🙁

Pray God It's Friday? 🤔

Wow. so many dumbass posts on LinkedIn talking about things they have no idea about!

Want to call it out. But don't want to give them additional traffic lol

i might not have ssh access to live instances but i can redirect live traffic to test instances and debug my shit there!

... no but i really do that

Team are getting into using Machine learning for anomalous behaviour detection for authentication and traffic behaviour... It's so interesting and another useful tool in our security arsenal

Do you know what is both a good and a bad thing about old tech like IRC ? vs Slack, Twitter, Facebook, Email, etc for socializing ?

excepting that they were recording most channels traffic with bots, you could miss things.

things changed.
it was more living you expected people to be there to have real conversations. and then the conversations unless fragments were saved, disappeared on there own.

it made you have to remember things.

Hello all,

Just asking for some advice.

Vultr vs Linode vs DigitalOcean
for a website that contains streaming and high traffic which is best for dev start and then maybe deployment?

Traffic on way in today! Never mind will see the premier league cup pass me in 10 hour;)

Can you tell that fucken Barracuda VPN Client to only route specific domains to the connected vpn?

It makes no sense to route my whole fucken traffic through my workplace's network.

So I've been given a task to monitor a whole lot of logs of some servers (whole university ~ 10+ departments). The technologies are diverse so I'm cramming everything into elasticsearch via logstash (and filebeat), viewing it into kibana. Any recommendations for what should be the 'useful' stuff to be viewed into dashboard? I guess:
- Overall traffic wtih respect to previous days/weeks
- Most viewed domains
- 200
- 404
- 503
- Failed logins?
- Dropped connections?
- Critical-load of systems? 90%+

I've developed a habit to kickstart stuff I probably use once or twice in my life, am I the only one? Deciding to block all traffic to kickstarter.com

Coworker: I SSH into my liver every now and again. It's mostly to make sure it's kept up and running because I've blocked all the other ports to it. Once my kidneys can' handle the alcohol and energy drinks I'll start enabling cookies on it to help filter out that traffic.

Weird conversations with my coworker

imaging getting organic traffic.
but
Hugeeeee but.

you pay for the ads which redirects to the search keyword that ranks your site to the top.

I drive for 2 hours in the scorching heat and shitty traffic to reach work only to find out my manager is on leave and he hasn't scheduled any tasks for me. FML