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Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.
So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.21 -
When a customer gets pissed because something doesn't work and you give a bullshit suggestion because you want to reply something at least and you get a reply like 'oh thanks it works now!'
o_O3 -
Creating a new account is always fun...
"This Is My Secure Password" <-- Sorry, no spaces allowed.
"ThisIsMySecurePassword" <-- Sorry, Passwords must include a number
"ThisIsMySecurePassword1" <-- Sorry, Passwords must include a special character
"ThisIsMySecurePassword 1" <-- Sorry, no spaces allowed
"ThisIsMySecurePassword%1" <-- Sorry, the % character is not allowed
"ThisIsMySecurePassword_1" <-- Sorry, passwords must be shorter than 16 characters
"Fuck" <-- Sorry, passwords must longer than 6 characters
"Fuck_it" <-- Sorry, passwords can't contain bad language
"Password_1" <-- Accepted.25 -
I want to say sorry to my fellow devs for what I've done today.
I've opened the second page of google search results :(5 -
Me trying to find developers to My gaming community:
Question 1:
Can you code node.js?
Him:
Yes
Question 2:
Can you code java?
Him:
Yes
Question 3:
Do you know DevRant?
Him:
No sorry
Me:
Then im sorry next one...10 -
'lashed out' to a client for the first time yesterday.
Clients have the habit to call after tickets and while its annoying, it's manageable if it happens *sometimes*
It was happening the entire fucking morning and when a client called for an update about a ticket for the second time, I couldn't help but sound frustrated.
"how far are you with the ticket?"
"i have other things to do as well, you know, you're not the only customer i have to help right now"
"i understand, do you possibly have an eta?"
"no. You're next in line, is that clear enough?"
"okay" *hangs up*
*crap*
He e-mailed me afterwards apologizing, that was nice.
I'm sorry sir 😥 nothing personal but it can become so fucking annoying sometimes.4 -
Confession.
I am sorry.
I don't know if I am doing the right or the wrong thing.
I never shared devRant with people I know because of three things.
1. I don't want to infect this community with cancerous people.
2. I only have a few friends.
3. People I know have no interest in programming (still in college).16 -
Drunk programming is the best obfuscation. Tomorrow morning I'll have no idea how any of this works.3
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Just learned that my previous workplace hired someone to take over the frontend which was my first big javascript project, and now I have an odd fear for my life.3
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I hate asking for help on here as this place is mostly not intended for that but fuck it for now, I need help on this one!
Installing Arch isn't working for me. Installing any other Linux system (debian or RHEL based) works great.
I've seen some things online about EFI files and so on but I honestly don't understand what that stuff is (about).
Help.16 -
Linux... Is shitty... Ok it just is. I've tried all kinds of variations and they all just... Urgh
Now I know... I know devs are meant to love it ... But compare it to windows
(Yes windows fucks up more) but when it works it works.
... Windows isn't perfect... But it doesn't try to be.
Linux has that feel of... Clearly made by a dev... It works consistently but doesn't take into account how people want to use something...
Linux is something you have to learn to love. And I'm sure I could.
But with windows it's intuitive it's straight forward
I feel like if I was to pick up windows having never used it... I would know how it works. I could at least use it go online and watch videos do the basics... In Linux ... No it's not as easy, sometimes not possible
An os you should just know how to do everything you want to do, and not have to download tonnes of shit to get it that way
It is, the future... But holy fuck get your act together Linux65 -
Sometimes I give someone a ++ on here just to bother them with a notification on their phone. It gives me a sense of power.6
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Boss: We are going live tomorrow, are you ready?
Me: (Goosebumps and dry mouth) Sorry can you repeat that
Boss: Oh sorry not you, it's Sam whose app going live tomorrow
Me: (Inner me) Motherfucker. You dry dick piece of shit1 -
When talking about devRant, which terminology do you use for ++s?
A: Plus pluses
B: Plus ones
C: Upvotes
D: Likes16 -
I'm sorry I just have to -
AHHHHHH!!!!! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKSHITASSFUCKFUCKTHISSHITFUCKASS
thank you.6 -
Last week our department drama queen was showing off Visual Studio’s ability to create a visual code map.
He focused on one “ball of mud”, vilifying the number of references, naming, etc and bragging he’s been cleaning up the code. Typical “Oooohhh…this code is such a mess…good thing I’m fixing it all..” nonsense. Drama queen forgot I wrote that ‘ball of mud’
Me: “So, what exactly are you changing?”
DK: “Everything. It’s a mess”
Me: “OK, are any of the references changing? What exactly is the improvement?”
DK: “There are methods that accept Lists. They should take IEnumerables.”
Me: “How is that an improvement?”
<in a somewhat condescending tone>
DK: “Uh…testability. Took me almost two weeks to make all the changes. It was a lot of work, but now the code is at least readable now.”
Me: “Did you write any tests?”
DK: “Um…no…I have no idea what uses these projects.”
Me: “Yes you do, you showed me map.”
DK: “Yes, but I don’t know how they are being used. All the map shows are the dependencies.”
Me: “Do you know where the changes are being deployed?”
DK: “I suppose the support team knows. Not really our problem.”
Me: “You’re kinda right. It’s not anyone’s problem.”
DK: “Wha…huh…what do you mean?”
Me: “That code has been depreciated ever since the business process changed over 4 years ago.”
DK: “Nooo…are you sure? The references were everywhere.”
Me: “Not according to your map. Looks like just one solution. It can be deleted, let me do that real quick”
<I delete the solution+code from source control>
Me: “Man, sorry you wasted all that time.”
I could tell he was kinda’ pissed and I wasn’t really sorry. :)2 -
Genie, my first wish is that you double the amount of JavaScript frameworks, every day.
Genie, my second wish is that you make PHP even more of a mess. Huh, not possible? Alright, my second wish is that my browser history is cleared when I die.
Genie, my third and final wish is that Linux will be owned by Microsoft and released as a DLC to Windows Vista.
Happy developing!3 -
What is it with these companies and mandatory updates?
Microsoft with windows 10. Sorry your doing work? Nah, we've decided your going to update now! Sorry, we based our default update time on people not working late at night.
Philips hue. Wanna turn on your lights? Sorry, mandatory firmware update. You'd better install that before being able to see.
YouTube app on ps4. No sorry, can't open this, mandatory 80mb update.
FUCK SAKE PEOPLE.8 -
When a ping with less than 10ms eqauls ping porn, shouldn't pinging yourself be considered masturbating?2
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Your guide to passive-aggressive false apologies:
- I’m sorry you’re so sensitive
- I’m sorry that you think I did something wrong
- I’m sorry if you’re mad
- I’m sorry that you made me do it
- I’m sorry you feel that way
And, my most favorite:
- I’m sorry that you’re making such a big deal out of this.12 -
Unfortunately, I was causing the bad experience of the group project.
Had a 3D modelling class at university. I was totally overwhelmed and had no time to do anything for the project. I was too scared to face my team so I decided to just break the contact and didn't show up to the presentation.
I thought I would get a bad grade and that I will have to take the class the next year again.
But the worst part is, I got a better grade than the rest of the team because someone did the part, I was responsible for, so well.
I felt so bad for my behaviour, I cut my hair and shaved and hoped they won't recognize me at the university.
I'm sure there are or will be some rants about me this week -.-'3 -
When you misspell crypto.randomInt as .ransomInt and accidentally encrypt everything in your company's intranet.
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just so you boys know, "sorry you feel this way" is not an apology, and if a guy comes with this bs to me they will be sorry for the way I'll feel then14
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!dev
I had semi-jokingly changed my username from dextel2 to nothappy, because of that one bad day.
But, it is now when I realized that I am actually NOT HAPPY, things are lately rough, I am constantly scared for no reason, I doubt my skills, I doubt myself for no reason, and top of that there's always a chance for another epileptic attack.
I tried and keep trying to distract myself from negative thoughts but the more I try the more I fail, I've become distant with my younger brother, for the record I'm very overprotective about him. I don't even know if he feels the same, as this year ends or every day passes by I feel changed from my past self (not in a good way).
Switched my first job to get another good job, turns out they don't even have any projects and I'm just a guy they are showcasing like they have ONE amateur developer and we are looking for an entire project and it did work for one client which I'm gonna deny personally because the client is not clear about the project itself, I do not care about the consequences, my heart lies in academics and I'll put my 100% in academics, shall I'm kicked.
A lot has happened in this year, but this one is/was unique and very hard to process. I've always been joyful, sarcastic, funny, you name it, but all of it has just vanished, don't know why. I'm also becoming distant from my ONLY 3 friends and parents.8 -
I kinda hate to admit it but they were right. Data structures and algorithms are kinda the shit and you should try to learn and appreciate them. Not just so you’ll use them. But in that learning them helps you become a better problem solver.
There’s a self taught dev that my company works with for really bespoke applications. A senior dev that works with him and helps manage the development process told me that the dev in question doesn’t really know how to implement the finer details. Very telling indeed.3 -
Hey guys, some of you might know this but for those who do not, there is an april fools HTTP error code which is 418, it's description is 'I\'m a teapot' #TheMoreYouKnow
(felt the need to escape sorry not sorry)4 -
I sometimes apologize to the tools I use when I work because I use them badly, or in a way they only can return an error.
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How to fix issues the easy way:
1. Provide users a way to raise issues
2. Immediately respond to new issues saying you added them to the internal ticketing system
3. Wait till the affected product reaches EoL
4. Tell the customer you are sorry, but as the product is now after EoL, you cannot use any resources on fixing the issue
5. Close the issue -
Am I the only one bothered by the way devRant ( and to be fair also Twitter) previews images?
It just kinda crops some unknown up front amount of edges. It's annoying in and of itself, but also directs viewer focus to some arbitrary part of the picture, and you can't unsee it even after opening the whole thing...
Is there really no better way to handle the issue of size? How can that be a good UX ??1 -
rant.
i'm graduating uni and I have to say, my school sucks. they dont teach us how to be developers, they're teaching us how to be tools.
half the subjects could easily have descriptions like how to be employee of the month. I know social and management skills are important in the workplace but by god if I knew that that's the only thing they'll be teaching then I shouldnt have enrolled. for fuck's sake this is IT not HRM.
it doesnt help that most of the professors cant even code beyond printing statements and loops. they didnt even teach object-oriented programming. I had to study that shit myself, so mind you i'm probably not good at it.
though I've had my share of wonderful professors who have taught me so much, a handful of them isnt enough to salvage the incompetence of the whole faculty.
end rant.5 -
Fuck, some feature requests seriously…
I’m sorry but this business app is being built for adults. I’m sorry if that doesn’t accommodate all users. -
I forgot the fricking ON clause for a important database query. While it didn't crash MY program or greatly effect the performance, I feel sorry for the API that had to deal with the idiotic results of this.
Especially that one request I just spotted, where I just got the answer "the query took too long". That one was like querying the table "females" for males.
Soo fricking sorry 😭😭😭3 -
My client had a meeting and presentation of app for one possible client of that app. I, as a developer of that app, left a hardcoded id,I saw it but forgot about it immediately. Let's just say filtering did not work properly. Sorry.1
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!dev
Ladies... I promise that your men (most of them) are trying... We fail a lot, but we are trying...1 -
Got two stars on one of my github project, i feel happy and sad, because it's now a private project on framagit :/
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I once hoped coding prevents my confusion with new UI as I get old, but I'm 22 and already confused by 3D Touch on iOS. Confronted with my own technological mortality...
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Just wanted to update you guys on the status of the weather app i was working on.
I have decided to stop working on it for the time being but might return to it at a later date.
The decision was in part due to it being a fairly generic idea in a already saturated market.
Thanks for the support however and hope my next project will be as well received.4 -
Inherited a trainwreck of a site with multiple CSS files. The deadline for changes was BS. No time to remove unused rules, so I left a sorry note for the next dev.3
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😂 I'm sorry if this is a report. I'm also sorry because I know you guys are tired of stupid memes. But I just....i had to.
1 -
Hey assholes, if you need a cms dev. Don't hire a front end dev to do your dirty cms bullshit. Sorry, NOT sorry.3
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i was reading a book in the week. fell in love with it.
now im watching the movie of it. it's horrible.
i knew i didnt want to see it.. i knew it was going to suck
ive seen the book completly different in my eyes. am almost crying about it. the movie does not give any emotions at all ~ other than disapointement. it ruins my experience with the book to some extend now. it changes how my pictures that i imagined are.
the movie actors are bland. the setting and writing feels of and cheep. the scenes of the book are rushed in 1.50h. that book in a movie should have been atleast 3h. i feel betrayed by whoever made the movie.
sucks that i have to see it to create a movie - book comparison. im forcing myself through watching it to the end
the major point of the book that made it so good was the setting with nature. in the movie no details and focus on this are given at all.
it feels disrespectful to the author of the book and honestly to myself aswell :(8 -
!rant
Before I left my other company I was in the midst of finishing one project and I was ansious to finish everything to leave as a rockstar. Now, one of my js scripts brought a huge and long json response that had many nested items and arrays and whatnot. Instead of properly destructuring or finding a particular piece that went similarly to "status": "Verify input"(that was nested unser a shitload of items) i did the unspeakable......i stringified the whole object and just used indexOf.
I still feel guilty over it...but it works :P thing is, if it returns that it means that the user entered an invalid status into the app (it was an inventory application) but it works :P
Oh well. Mind you they thought it was going to take months and I finished in 1 week so yay. -
Well fuck!!
Sorry a big part of community sick due to GitHub merger with M$ (including Alice, Floydian, Michelle and more)
But this is fucking unbearable!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS AN ENTERPRISE DEVELOPER AND ACCELERATING THEIR USE OF GITHUB!!
HOW CAN A DEVELOPER (EVEN IF WORKING ON A PROPRIETARY SOFTWARE) BE AFFECTED BY THE MERGER!!??
I HOPE NOT THAT THIS FUCKING DEFINITION OF ENTERPRISE DEVELOPERS MEANS DEVELOPERS PAYING SHITLOAD OF MONEY TO M$.
Source: http://aka.ms/ms06042018 slide 11.
Do correct me if I'm wrong.2 -
I uploaded my static site on AWS. Doesn't load when I typed the public IP in the URL. Googled, found StackOverflow answer to traffic and ports as a security group to AWS. Tried it and it still doesn't work.
Hey Bluehost, sorry I left but I'm back now7 -
Sorry for not ranting and commenting alot lately... I'm feeling a bit down, very tired, and not at all motivated ... But I'll be back one day soon I hope2
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What's the difference between a front end job and a dead end job?
The at least the front end goes to the back end. -
I swear! I just typed some words, I pressed [Enter] key and....
Oh my good, I broke the machine ...
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry !
PS: this message is not alone, I found another one about a deprecated function once I clicked on a link...
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An I the only one who gets scared when a piece of code break. Like I feel like a bad little kid like omg I broke it please don't look I'm sorry please I didn't mean I'm so sorry
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Anyone here also knows/works with someone who is really great at POCs but sucks big time when it comes to the real thing? I hate that guy. Dont be that guy. That guy will be your team's downfall.
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!rant Java web framework?
sorry for the OT, if you are single (novice) web developer and you had to choose your first web java framework, what would you pick?7 -
Not a rant, but a question: I'm currently learning to develop for the web through freecodecamp. They decided some time ago to change their curriculum from Angular to React, kinda moving away from the MEAN set of technologies. Now that Angular 2 is out and looking good, I'm not sure if I should stick to their curriculum or learn it in place of React. What do you guys think?5
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!dev
Sorry if it seems like spam. Probably it's not the right platform, but I'm not on any other social platform and wanted to help so here we go.
*25 year old, Parth needs your help to fight Hodgkin's Lymphoma.*
My name is Kanupriya Parashar and I am here to raise funds for my brother Parth Parashar who is 25 years old and is fighting Hodgkin's Lymphoma. We have exhausted all our funds and seek your help to carry on his treatment. Any contribution will be of immense help. Kindly share the campaign
Read more - https://milaap.org/fundraisers/...
He's my colleague's friend, felt extremely bad after hearing his story. Please donate if possible. -
When you have to block a email address from a website providing you a great way to have a payment form for your client because they didnt implement the unsubscribe and you get spammed at every test
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