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Search - "#noobs"
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I was in school and I got bored. I opened two command prompts and did what any scammer would do.
I went to the root of the drive and did a tree. The other window is pinging google infinitely.
After a few seconds, I hear a kid say "Are you hacking the pentagon?". That guy also asked me to hack the Google Play Store. He shall forever think I'm a hacker.35 -
Started Computer Science class yesterday, but i code like 12 years. My fellow mates mostly never coded in their life. They think its gonna be easy. They think they will have a social life. They think their gonna get sleep.
Those fools.11 -
Client: I am unable to turn on my computer after running you app. Can you plz help me out.
Myself: Sure, since my app is corporate web app and nothing to do with OS lvl functions but still I will help you. (Didn't really had a choice🙄) Tell me your exact scenario.
Client: I think I was downloading some torrent as well, and then I am unable to turn on my computer.
Myself: Ok, try restarting your computer. Press power button 1-2 times.
Client: Nothing's happening.
Myself: Plug in your charger and try again.
Client: ohh! It started.
Myself: DUCK FACE😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑
( Disconnect the call immediately) And start writing code for people who doesn't even fucking know how to start the computer.1 -
Because apparently this douchebag thought writing else is too mainstream. And indentation, that is for noobs.22
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So apparently I got added to a Python dev group by a random person.
I thought okay cool I might learn new things and connect with some great people in the industry.
Turned out that it was just a bunch of noobs.
When I gave an honest response to a question asked by the admin (who turned out to be a noob as well), he kicked me out.
I honestly don't know if there's any official certification for Python other that the one I said.3 -
"I've been coding for a while now. I think I'm doing pretty good."
5 minutes later:
"Hey, what's a function?"3 -
Friend of mine killed his MacBook with some Softdrink.
Just poured it all over his poor a1502.
He let it dry for a few days, it starts to work again.
Except the battery.
Goes on Amazon and buys a new battery.
New battery doesn't work either and so he tells me about it and I as stupid as I am couldn't resist the temptation to finally work on a MacBook like my "hero" Lois Rossmann does.
So turns out the board is good.
Cleaned it up and basically nothing happened to it.
So what's the deal with "los batlerias"?
The first got hit by liquid, the second had a broken connection to a cell.
That could have happened through my friend, installing it without testing it first, or at the seller, so it being a DOA battery.
Now away from the stupidity of my friend and the situation to the actual source for this rant.
Once something happens to a modern Managed battery, the Battery Management System (BMS) disconnects the voltage from the system and goes into an error state, staying there and not powering anything ever again.
For noobs, it's dead. Buy a new one.
But It can be reset, depending you know how to, and which passwords were set at the factory.
Yes, the common Texas instruments BQ20Zxx chips have default passwords, and apple seems to leav them at default.
The Usb to SMBus adaptors arrived a few days ago and I went to prod the BMS.
There is a very nice available for Windows called BE2works, that I used the demo of to go in and figure out stuff. The full version supports password cracking, the demo not.
After some time figuring out how Smart Battery Systems (SBS) "API" works, I got to actually enter the passwords into the battery to try get into manufacturer and full access mode.
Just to realise, they don't unlock the BMS.
So, to conclude, my friend bought a "new" battery that was most likely cut out of a used / dead macbook, which reports 3000mah as fully charged instead of the 6xxx mah that it should have, with 0 cycles and 0hours used.
And non default access.
This screams after those motherfuckers scaming the shit out of people on Amazon, with refurb, reset, and locked fucken batteries.
I could kill those people right now.
Last but not least,
My friend theoretically can't send it back because I opened the battery to fix the broken connection.
Though maybe, it'll get send back anyway, with some suprise in the package.9 -
Hackr.io is the best website to find effective tutorials for every language. I think every body should visit this website and vote for the best tutorials to help noobs.6
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One of my colleagues at work has cooked up this amazing amazing method.. and guys brace yourself.. This code is on production..17
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90% of c/c++ "lovers" whose favourite language is c/c++ apparently turns out it is the only language they have ever known.
Mermaid syndrome too strong amongst Indian Devs.13 -
Me: *spends 4+ hours refactoring existing spaghetti, ensuring components are modular, easier to test and fault tolerant*
Project manager: ...
Also me: *adds pre-loader image to register and login buttons when user submits form*
Project manager: *All excited* Awesome work. 🙌That's some nice improvement..
Like wtf dude 😳..
My takeaway: These noobs only care about what they can directly interact with6 -
So people need to learn how to use a car in a safe manner and without pissing off other users before they get a license and are allowed to actually use one in the real world.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish this also applied to computers.2 -
So devRant shows me a frontpage feed based on my ++/--/follows/etc.
Does this mean there is a niche bubbled hidden corner, some place where some dev is currently looking at his feed thinking: "Wow everyone agrees with me, Windows is much better than Linux, VBscript is amazing, and Git is for tryhards who hate on dropbox for no good reason"
By now, that bubble and mine have drifted so far apart that they will never meet again, and if you see this specific rant, you will not ever see that content again either.
For all you know, the majority of devs love changing requirements and clients who call them in the middle of the night, the consensus is that testing is for noobs, and everyone loves jquery.
You will never know, because you clicked ++ on the wrong rant, right when you signed up, and forever sealed your fate.14 -
Most of the tech YouTubers are really noob engineers.
Joma was a data scientist. He is an L3 engineer at Google and he hasn't done much during the last 1 year based on his internal stats.
I saw tech leads stats while he was at Google and that dude did nothing during his time. I'm sure he was an IC before he became a lead.
Clement talks about system design bull shit but he's a math major who worked on some angular front end while he was at Google. Basically his experience in tech is mostly involving using mat-button and mat-input. He also quit FB in a month.
Listening to tech lead gives me cancer. That guy was also some front end/ mobile engineer. I don't think any less of mobile engineers but tech leads acts as if he built some large scale systems at Google and FB. His opinion about react native shows how much of a noob he is. He also talked about docker in one of his video which showed he had some fundamental misunderstanding of what docker is. In his courses, he struggles to explain simple algorithms.
I don't know how these people have the courage to claim themselves as some sort of experts in the field when they are extreme noobs. They also sell some shady courses and are robbing innocent college kids.
One thing they all do well is talk. Which I give them 10/10.10 -
Why it is hard for general public to believe this is fake;
Nasa had performed an experiment in which they got this result an internal network 😂😂😂;
For God sake please don't try seeding torrents on NASA'S internal network 😂😂😂😂;3 -
Front end guy: Somethings wrong with your server. My app is crashing.
* proceed to check logs. Everything fine
Me: Ok send me a log, a printscreen something. What calls do you make?
*send a printscreen with a failling 404 request
* You dense motherfucker learn your fucking http status. They are there for a reason😤3 -
Today I saw a code written by my junior. Basically excel export. The laravel excel package provide great ways for optimization.
My junior instead did 6 times loop to modify the data before giving that data to the export package. We need to export around 50K users.
When I asking him why this ? He said it works and it's fast so what the issue ???
Noob , you have only 100 users in the database and production has 10 million.
Sometime I just want to kill him.15 -
There's this TV show called Startup. The protagonist "hacker" tells a guy to go learn JavaScript. And then they show him learning Java. If noobs make this mistake, I get it. But a TV show that's featuring a "hacker" who can create crypto currency and dark web sites? WTF?6
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Teaching php to noobs....
type in echo 'hello world'
Go to the browser and run the page
Do you hear the echo?6 -
Amphetamine.
If that doesn't help, "working from home", which means posting random PRs from my emergency pile every two hours, while shooting noobs in Overwatch.13 -
ahh... i love reading posts like these.... dumb tech noobs...
Oh u dont like the UI in Android? well just fucking change the launcher...
But ur going to switch cuz they purposefully crippled ur old iphone even though u bought a new one anyway (because u actually really just wanted it)?7 -
This has been posted a few times but I just want to reiterate for noobs that !Rant means NOT rant, like the C, C++, Python, Java, etc versions. Not like CSS !Important or ruby do_this!(indeed) etc.5
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I just installed Ubuntu on my old laptop and Jesus that terminal is just amazing. Now I see why GUI is for noobs.8
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This is supposed to be a huge European conference on logistics at hyperlog.info If these noobs will be inviting big companies, they better know how to make a map, that's not Hungary there and Europe has only one Slovakia8
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So people here are complaining about StackOverflow being rude and unfriendly to noobs.
Post a link to your question and people here will judge whether it's a good question/answer.
We will see whether it's the network or your questions being just bad.8 -
So this happened last week.
Last week I went as a volunteer to give an introduction class basic programming to some guys and gals who are going to attend computer science soon next year.
The class lasted one week and we had done some basic algorithms and programming in Python.
Besides that we also did some very basic websites (html, css and javascript).
Obviously all those people were very enthusiastic.
Some were a little bit too enthusiastic...
There were these 2 guys who were best friends. They already knew everything apparently. Even though they just finished high school they had been programming for over 10 years, had already made countless of websites, applications, 'hacked Windows', RATs and some amazing games.
So there were some people there who never had programmed before. I started giving the lecture and warned people who already knew some basics of programming the first day might be a quite boring but I could not simply skip it obviously.
Those 2 dickheads acted like the biggest childs ever, started screaming in class, making sure everyone knew they were bored, and were constantly complaining to me that they know what print, for, while and strings were. I stayed calm and tried to explain them again I simply couldn't skip parts of the lecture for them.
Every hour and every day it started getting worse and worse with them. Not only but the whole class were furiously mad at them. Some other students even started screaming at them. They screamed back insulting everyone they even didn't what php was and stupid stuff like that.
At some point they interrupted me AGAIN and asked me how long I programmed. I told him little them over 5 years or something. They started laughing at me. Those 2 dickheads looked at me like they were so much better than me because they programmed over 10 years.
At some point, almost the last day, I had enough of their bullshit, interruption, screaming, insulting other students who asked questions, ... I said you know what, you give the lecture!
They refused because they felt too good for all these other 'noobs' (the other students). They would never become good and blah blah more bullshit.
I said alright, we're doing websites, you've made some websites, show me your most impressive website.
He was happy and felt honered.
He sent me the whole folder and I showed his website on code on the big screen in the room.
Then I said: "Everyone, pay close attention to this!"
That dickhead smiled and felt good
Me: "This is how NOT to make a website"
I started explaining to everyone all things that were complete shit and all things that were straight up sins.
That one friend of the dickhead stayed quiet. The other dickhead became as red as a tomato. At some points you even saw tears in his eyes. At some point he insulted me I was a scriptie and simply left.
The class started clapping.
One of the weirdest but also best moments of my life
Moral: Don't act like a complete bigheaded dickhead, don't feel better than everyone and show some respect
Thank you for reading
Have a nice day!3 -
Trying to be helpful to noobs on Stackoverflow and got downvoted. Doesn't seem to be a particularly cheerful community.4
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Just under 1000 on devRant.
At 14 on Stack Overflow...
Just short of being able to upvote! Maybe I can help noobs...
My next rant: Why do I get down voted when I try to help noobs?10 -
I'm attacking all the guys who run arch and think they are heroes. Just a load of noobs following online guides who want a cookie for their cv or water cooler street cred. Just fo.7
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My noob friends at college don't understand coding and its purpose. They miss out a semicolon or a closing bracket.
They reach out to me to help them get rid of the errors(too many).
Me: Just add a closing bracket here.
Friends: Boom, you are the god Bro!!!
LOL 😂😛5 -
Today,I found this gem:
static function getConfig(){
$cacheKey = 'foobar';
try {
$config = $this->repository->getConfig();
$this->cache->set($cacheKey, $config);
}
catch(Exception $e){
try{
$config = $this->repository->getConfig();
$this->cache->set($cacheKey, $config);
}
catch(Exception $e){}
}
}
I don't want to live on this planet anymore...!7 -
I pay over $100 per year for Apple's piece of shit developer program and the app store connect website isn't even accessible right now.
Great.4 -
No, I'm not going to approve your one-line fix. It will introduce more problems in the future. Fix it the way we agreed on this morning!2
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Stop asking which Linux distro is best. Seriously there is no "best" one. Arch is best FOR ME. Debian or Fedora might be your cup of tea. But I have great news for you, they are all FREE and there is free virtualization software you can try them on. Stop asking a stupid question that only gets opinionated answers and flame wars and go try them for yourself.
Also, while I'm on the topic. Ubuntu, Ubuntu Mate, Ubuntu XFCE etc. are all the same distro, they just have a different DE (desktop environment for you noobs). It's like on Monday I wear a suit but Tuesday I wear shorts and a tee shirt, it's still me, I'm just dressed differently.8 -
Well there were quite some teamwork fails concerning Git and build environments. I covered a few in my previous rants.
Basically I become a tiny bit of FUCKING ANGRY when I have to work with lobotomized pricks who get a segfault at address 0x00000000 in their brain_x68.exe when it comes to handle Git in the simplest ways possible.
Horrible commit messages, unfinished/buggy stuff pushed to master, force-push with fucking 6 months old code +1 change, pushing "resolved" mergeconflicts without resolving, 1 year old issues which are not closed or marked in any commit message, copying repofiles into a backup folder and committing it, not commiting files and change it directly on the FTP...
I HAVE SEEN IT ALL.
If I was not a calm and thoughtful guy I have had exploded and quit a long time ago!
I only help them so they can improve their dev style and workflows.1 -
I don't like noob techies who are into IT for the money.
My friend is jealous of me and he wants to get to my level. I told him that he should take Oracle certifications if he wants a good chance to a raise or a promotion (at least, it's a well-respected series of certs and everyone I know who took them got serious salary increases and respect from their managers).
For example, I studied for 12 weeks, for 12 hours per day for the OCA. He thinks he can just quickly cram a cert in three days and get big money. Nope.
This guy failed Network+ countless times. I remember he wanted to quickly get his CCNA when he barely understands how folders work.
The level of foolishness is amazing..
Yeah, anyway..15 -
*Two noobs entered the Vim bus and missed their stop.*
They got off 10 stops later after the bus broke down.1 -
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY IT IS HARD TO GET A JOB AS JUNIOR DEV? This is because you don't need any knowledge about coding to get the fucking degree!!
I would love to work harder but it should meen something if you own the fucking paper!
Sorry got triggerd after reading another rant!8 -
A friend saw me on stack overflow and said 'wow, 4,000 points - you must do this all day.' I explained that I just do it to reinforce my understanding and not really for points(although those are useful for bounties). I showed them an account with 22k and tried to show how one might choose questions for maximum points vs quick solves for noobs etc. I write overly thorough answers to try and pin-point the blind spot as opposed to just fixing other people's code. It's not often rewarded by points. My friend - conspiracist - was convinced that the 20+k accounts were cheating the system.
At my old work we had a stack overflow account just for asking embarrassing questions that you didn't want on the company record. Silly, I know. Occasionally some of the guys would use it to have fake arguments or just cause trouble for fun / vote each other's stuff up.
So - I reached into 1Password and signed into that account and showed him that you could essentially vote up your answers but that it's not likely how people get points. I voted up my last 5 personal answers as an example and made some comment like 'that is right.' And that was that. Closed the computer. The next day my account was suspended and I was reprimanded for sockpuppeting. So, - in case you think you can get away with cheap tricks - you can't, which is nice to know - but after reading the email - my face was red for hours. How embarrassing! Not quite as bad as that time I got caught stealing a G.I. Joe action figure at the mall...2 -
Things I wish people had said at my first job (in light of lots of the people I see starting their first dev gig on here). Please add yours.
Congrats!
Take a breath, you will be fine.
If you get frustrated, take a moment to collect your thoughts.
Don't be afraid to say you don't know, you are not expected to know everything.
Your workday needs to end at a decent time. Don't overdo it or you will be useless for more of your hours.
Always take whatever length of time you think something will take and double it. If you think it will take 15 minutes, it'll probably take your 4 hours.
Concentrate on networking and personal relationships.
Pick the smartest people who have moved the most vertically and pay attention to what they say, they might know a lot.
When management makes an "unwise" or "crazy" decision, ask them why or what the context or motive is that made then arrive at that course of action. Some of them might surprise you in their bigger picture motives or dumbassedness.
Six sigma may be in your future, learn what it is.
Automate as much of your own job as possible.
Um, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully that's helpful to people just starting out. Feel free to add yours.5 -
Recently was in a recruitment hackathon for leading technology company.
So, to test ppls networking, team building skill they grouped ppl into a team.
I was teamed up with noobs, and had very bad experience.
One guy in the team was arguing to use PHP for developing a web app.
Me : What PHP framework are u good at!?
He: what is framework !?
Me : like laravel etc..
He: no I meant we use plain PHP!
Me (mind voice) : go fuck yourself, I am bailing out , I Do not need the job
Me : It's ohk we only know NodeJs , so, gave a wierd smile
He was still arguing ,but I gave 0 f***
This is considered as a fight!?
Yeah not the worst though
Apparently the recruitment ppl liked him a lot in my team!2 -
Got my first Linux magazine with real worth tips for noobs with advanced stuff (like mounting a web mail server using Nmap, create personalized distros ssh, terminology and stuff , you don't see that in most noob magazines).
First point... Comes with a CD with 4 distros (OK... I perfer to download the latest for my VMs) and 200 euros worth of.. Linux software?
And I ripped this beautiful cover before even reading it... Killing a wasp. So, worth the 10 euros even before opening it5 -
Kiss for fucks sake! What the fuck of an ORM is Sequelize? How the fuck do I have to write a 50 line query json to get a query for a single object going, which doesn't work then because that shit peace of software has a bug that breaks findOne and forces you to use findAll and use the first and only hit?!
Well yes, I looked in your garbage SEO docs for that issue, but whenever I look for something specific I just end up on your optimized as hell querying for noobs doc page. FUCK YOU!
Seriously, you guys working with Sequelize saved me many hours. But fuck your fuckups! And ajfjekidjjskrhbdkaowbdjdkwobdnfie4 -
Some people are really getting high on this Agile shit. Probably because they learned some new bullshit bingo phrases - and it suits them: lots of vapory talk and expensive meetings and others will have to do the work anyway, while they can circlejerk on how to have shorter iterations to improve the time to market, increase the business value, inspect and adapt to faster deliver a minimal viable product - yeah, do the agile transformation, update to the digital age, you noobs. Throwing around some catchy phrases will let you compete with Google? Maybe need some blockchain or machine learning?
While you are clustering your post its, the coders who keep the ship afloat, sit in their legacy code base that's so bitrot they are mainly doing bugfix releases without a single feature for three fucking years. Consider this.5 -
A couple of weeks ago I had an internship. I worked there with a classmate. We had a simple assignment, but since we're noobs when it comes to web applications (and because you don't learn that in school), we even had a hard time preparing.
Finally, I... I mean "we" decided to use React because it's close to the way we learned to solve problems in school. I asked him to implement a page with a date picker/calendar. I even searched for a repo that. 2 Days later he was still not able to implement it, he experimented with the code, but he
1. didn't even read the readme, just copied the tutorial expecting it to work
2. Didn't even look at the logic behind it.
3. Demanded to use this other repo with less functionality
10-30 minutes should have been more than enough. Instead, I wasted time telling him to read and code properly. He refused the second (and probably also the first), because "Why should I care? We'll be here for 3 weeks and then we're done with this"
Guess whom I'll avoid in any possible group project3 -
I have an idea to make server side html. Just for fun. Or for noobs who just wants to know web development.
Example syntax:
<html listen=80>
... something amazing
</html>
Any suggestions/ideas??
(This could also be the much needed revolution for backend)12 -
another day another downvote to 0 on a stackoverflow post of a bug that is confirmed and reproducible
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡7 -
Too many to count, but this one useless meeting stands out the most.
I was working as an outside dev for software corporation. I was hired as an UI dev although my skill set was UI/engineer/devops at the time.
we wrote a big chunk of 'documentation' (read word files explaining features) before the project even started, I had 2 sprints of just meetings. Everybody does nothing, while I set up the project, tuned configs, added testing libraries, linters, environments, instances, CI/CD etc.
When we started actual project we had at least 2 meetings that were 2-3 hours long on a daily basis, then I said : look guys, you are paying me just to sit here and listen to you, I would rather be working as we are behind the schedule and long meetings don't help us at all.
ok, but there is that one more meeting i have to be on.
So some senior architect(just a senior backend engineer as I found out later) who is really some kind of manager and didn't wrote code for like 10 years starts to roast devs from the team about documentation and architectural decisions. I was like second one that he attacked.
I explained why I think his opinion doesn't matter to me as he is explaining server side related issues and I'm on the client-side and if he wants to argue we can argue on actual client-side decisions I made.
He tried to discuss thinking that he is far superior to some noob UI developer (Which I wasn't, but he didn't know that).
I started asking some questions and soon he felt lost and offended. We ended that discussion with conclusion that I made my own decisions on the client-side. That lasted less than 10 minutes.
So I just sit there and eat popcorn for next 4 and half hours listening to their unnecessary discussions where some angry manager that did programing decades ago wanted to show that we are all noobs and stupid.
what a sad human being.
what a waste of time, but hey I got payed for this 5 hour meeting.1 -
I just love when:
Programmer: I just hate people working with X language. They are so average and can't reach a thing...
Me: Yes, of course, but you also work but with the X full-time, right?
Programmer: Well yes, why?
Me: oh nothing, just wondered...
And in my career I've seen so many cases like this... They all whine that X is bad, Y is for noobs but still continue to work with it themselves...4 -
just saw that a guy liked his own linkedin post
doesn't get any better than this folks
welcome to hell6 -
Don't you just hate when a junior has been assigned a task in the domain you have experience, and instead of asking you for context and approach, the person asks for the EXACT LINE CHANGES INCLUDING THE LINE NUMBERS TO BE MODIFIED? Might as well assign the task to me.7
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Stackoverflow started 8 years ago.
Is there no hope for us "noobs" to ever see the 'k' at the end of our points?
All these 100K + users and i'm over here rejoicing in the 48 points that I was able to muster up with some effort T-T7 -
!rant
Warning : This rant is long and is a rant asking for help and suggestions. If you will read and dont leave any comments, please go search other rants. Thanks.
-----------------------------------
Hi, fellow ranters. In our community, we have a tech class where teens (teens here mean 14yo -15yo) come to learn computer stuffs. Teens here are selected by a test and an interview. There are some teens who are f***ing awesome. One of them are proficient in scratch. (yeah, the orange cat) Another is awesome at PhotoShop, and the other loves windows xp. The teacher uses Microsoft Visual C++ IDE made in the 1990s. The kid sitting to my left made flappy bird with gamemaker. About 10 to 11 teens doesnt know what ctrl+alt+del does in windows and never did programming before... 3 among them always brings coke and oreos and eats super loudly. CRACK! And I bet no one knows about git.
Ok. Enough for the awesome teens. Now what we learn.
We learn C! Yes, C. We learned for, if else, switch and all those stuffs, then learned variables, which made other students who never did programming before be (―,.―).
Next class we will learn about functions in 3 hours. Then array and pointer in 3 hours. Thats it for c programming. Then we do some unnecessary stuffs and time for the finals.
We need to make a project with up to 4 teens as one team. Now I am asking you awesome ranters to suggest some projects for about 4 pros and 16 noobs can do. 10 hours are given in class and we can do in other times by ourselves in home. What should we do? I bet many of them will say to make ascii art in c which is dull and I have no thoughts of doing that.
Any thoughts will be appreciated.
Thank you for reading.
To see my skills, go to my profile page.
| Comments below
v17 -
So, currently I am on Vacation and my dad asked me to train two of his staff members to use computer for data entry and basic usage stuff.
Now both guys are total noobs and have never used a computer before.
So I decided to take this opportunity to conduct a simple experiment. I am training one on Windows and other on Ubuntu to check out which one performs better.
The windows guy is winning.5 -
In the first two years at my school, I'm gonna do much stuff in the programming lessons that I already know. That's going to be boring. Very boring.10
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I might have asked this before, but since everyone on devRant except me is familiar with Git, please help me out a bit.
1. Should I use Git for a personal (game) project with a friend? (We'll work together via skype since we live far away from each other)
2. Noobs call Git "too difficult" - it seems difficult to me as well, what's your best advice (or resources, Git alternatives) to pick it up easily?
3. Will I have trouble with my slow internet (4mbps down 0.2mbps up)?16 -
My best Fking friend thinks that iPhones and Windows phones are the best phones for hacking.. (cctv, websites and all those shit)...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITH THEM ?!?!4
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when I was like 11yrs. old, my father has bought a new phone for himself. I used to play a lot of gta vice city those days on my PC. one day i got to use a card reader to exchange multimedia between PC and the phone.
so, i copied gta vice city in my phone. bcoz i knew that i can move around the players using the phone's d-pad. I was left broken when I saw the error msg. in the phone: "file not recognised"
:-/
After few days, my friend wanted to play gta-vc, so he asked for the game CD. but this guy didn't have a computer in his home and he won't listen to me when I try to tell him, "you can't just play a video game in your DVD-player with a TV remote??" So, I gave it to him.
Next day, he was angry at me, bcoz the game didn't worked, obviously it was me who hve messed something in it. :-/
What utterly stupid things you guys or your friends have done?7 -
When all the n00bs start signing up to devRant that have 0 idea what development and/or rants are!!2
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Pentesting for undisclosed company. Let's call them X as to not get us into trouble.
We are students and are doing our first pentest at an actual company instead of assignments at school. So we're very anxious. But today was a good day.
We found some servers with open ports so we checked a few of them out. I had a set of them with a bunch of open ports like ftp and... 8080. Time to check this out.
"please install flash player"... Security risk 1 found!
System seemed to be some monitoring system. Trying to log in using admin admin... Fucking works. Group loses it cause the company was being all high and mighty about being secure af. Other shit is pretty tight though.
Able to see logs, change password, add new superuser, do some searches for USERS_LOGGEDIN_TODAY! I shit you not, the system even had SUGGESTIONS for usernames to search for. One of which had something to do with sftp and auth keys. Unfortunatly every search gave a SQL syntax error. Used sniffing tools to maybe intercept message so we could do some queries of our own but nothing. Query is probably not issued from the local machine.
Tried to decompile the flash file but no luck. Only for some weird lines and a few function names I presume. But decompressing it and opening it in a text editor allowed me to see and search text. No GET or POST found. No SQL queries or name checks or anything we could think of.
That's all I could do for today. So we'll have to think of stuff for next week. We've already planned xss so maybe we can do that on this server as well.
We also found some older network printers with open telnet. Servers with a specific SQL variant with a potential exploit to execute terminal commands and some ftp and smb servers we need to check out next week.
Hella excited about this!
If you guys have any suggestions let us know. We are utter noobs when it comes to this.6 -
Question: What was the worst mistake you made in Linux?
So... Because I've finally upgraded my PC (rip money on bank account) I can now run a VM with Linux all the time that isn't slow as a snail.
I installed Linux mint, with 4Gb of Ram and 6 cores, and it runs like a brize, while I play on windows and stuff. BTW I'll be using the VM for programming stuff, since I'm finally at home (homesick because of burn out), when I'm better I'll finally have the patience and memory to learn new stuff and get my projects up and going.
And because I've never really used Linux I'm watching YouTube videos about Linux, and found a Perl I've watched before, #Linux Sucks
And It's great... I get so many laughs, but also, learn stuff I didn't know, like, how Linux Pros make mistakes that Windows users can't even do, like breaking the OS.
So... I would love to know, what was the worst mistakes you ever done on Linux? How did you brake you're system?
BTW this would also be great for noobs like me to not make them... I hope. Since I'll be moving full Linux when I'm comfortable.
BTW @dfox this would be a great wk ...18 -
"Our Data Service comes PRE-P0WN'D"
Those SHIT-FOR-BRAINS data service providers GLOAT that their data can be natively integrated into most BI platforms, no code required.
How? Because they will EXPOSE THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING ON THE INTERNET.
LITERALLY.
UNAUTHENTICATED URL WITH THE ENTIRE DATASET.
STATIC. WON'T EVER FUCKING CHANGE.
NO VPN REQUIRED. NO AUTHENTICATION HEADERS. NO IN-TRANSIT ENCRYPTION.
"It is safe! No one will know the secret token that is a parameter in the url"
BLOODY BYTE BUTTS, BATMAN! IT IS A FUCKING UNAUTHENTICATED URL THAT DOES NOT REQUIRES RENEWAL NOR A VPN, IT WILL LEAK EVENTUALLY!
That is the single fucking worst SELF-P0WN I have ever seen.
Now I know why there are fucking toddlers "hacking" large scale databases all over the globe.
Because there are plenty of data service providers that are FUCKING N00BS.4 -
its absolutely insane to me how many orgs out there have a "oh we don't know what that does, but don't touch it" peice of software9
-
When someone calls themselves "the webmaster".
My spidey senses are tingling, better make sure there is a recent backup. -
bug comment in the tracker, from the new junior dev, during her first week:
"probably fixed by [other dev]".
Among the unhelpful comments, this was a special gem. really special. a What the Fuck did you mean by that special. Was it fixed or not? who fixed it? [other dev]? someone else?
it was better not to have any comment at all.
later that junior became a really good dev... -
IBM: "oh, you can't actually USE our watsonx garbage, you need to book a call first! yes thats right, waste your time before installing what is nothing more than a chatgpt plugin for VS code!"
yawn
simply iq destroying knowing companies operate like this
🤡2 -
im new to programming and teaching myself the more i learn the discouraging it becomes. P.S do the guys at stack overflow hate noobs or 'rookie mistakes' because for a community that is supposed to be about answering questions they sure do seem to hate it when I ask them6
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Some common themes I have observed:
1. Why is this API using XML? It should be JSON.
2. Why are they using old shit? It should be new shit.
3. Why are they mixing new shit with old shit?
4. Why is the technology being used not fitting my sense of perfection and order?
What happens when JSON is the old shit? What happens when a new format is adopted that solves some corner case issues with JSON? What if those corner cases were solved by using XML, or a mix of XML and JSON? What happens when all the new shit is the old shit?
We will still be using the new old shit and listening to fucking noobs complain about mixing, matching, and abusing everything ever written. Oh JSON, how quaint and limited. Why did anyone ever use that? Fucking senior devs...10 -
I don't wanna be ridiculed for this, but I have really been meaning to ask. What is people's obsession with the dark theme? It seems like such a noob thing to do.6
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So I was glad that I finally completed the project for my bachelor's degree after fixing random bugs.
Here came this shocking news which left me stunned.
Some other batch bought a similar project from a project centre(lifeline for noobs to pass university project by buying projects made by someone else).
Head of the Department sent me a message that the project done by my team(95%me) is rejected as the other batch also has a similar project. He's aware that they bought it from a project centre. He's defending them that their money would go in vain as they bought it already.
I was like WTF!! Srsly? Do you even know what it takes to make a project functional? I've no idea what I'm going to do now.
#doublestandards14 -
Fucking Mess!
Apparently my code flunked during deployed cause some retard didn't pull the code and made his commit. Unfortunately this was after I MADE MY COMMIT.
noobs! -
btw fellow gentoo users, what are your opinions about it? What advice do you have for noobs? My Black Friday E585 Thinkpad is coming in a few weeks and I'm thinking about switching distros.
Used to use Arch, recently I've been using Artix with runit as the alternative init system. I need something simple and systemd free, and I think gentoo would scratch that itch.7 -
Recruiter rant.
Me as a fresher.
Submit your resume?
I thought you went through it before you called me down.
Yes, but I will need a copy.
Don't you have it in your inbox.
(And I was rejected.)2 -
Was LibSSH created by noobs? "Let me in bro, the other guy already checked my ID." https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/20...12
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So... Here we go again.
For the ones who doesn't know I'm a cnc worker / future .nc programmer ...
Today because my machine broke I finaly whent to the (cam) programmers den to learn, even was lucky because my usual programmer was starting a new piece from scratch...
But my fuking boss must really not like me... I'm the most promising programmer between the noobs but everyone else is already programming (talking about the ones that learned in the last months)
Today because I was learning, got fucked again, was expelled and ordered to do the work of a rookie while he (who has half of my company time) would program the work for me...
So... I always do overtime because others don't (and someone /me must stay till the last coworker lives)
Cant learn how to program... Because shit. while others are taking time from the old ones, while I can learn only by watching...
Have a burn out (it's getting worst) because of the time I only slept 3 /4 hours to do overtime while I was finishing my course...
Oh and flunked two times because I had to chose between overwork or getting fired (my boss didn't want me to finish the course, don't know why)
Didn't make a complaint because I would get lots of people fired (basicly there are legal and security violations behing committed, if I made a complaint most of the tools we use, chains, magnets to lift cargo and such would have to be thrown away... Plus lots of other tools that don't obay regulation... And there would be a heavy fine for every worker that does overtime... That means that half the staff would have to be fired because the company would stop for months)
So... I'm stuck... Must wait till I burn out, fire myself or call the authorities and fuck such a good company...
Only because two bosses have problems with me... (my dad works in the company and there is lots of envy towards him, probably because he came after and got a place they would never get ...)7 -
Github's issue reference menu can't even fit all of the duplicate issues for the one you just opened, you twat.
Stop wasting my time.1 -
Today there was a question on the react native forum asking how to map an array..... ([].map(mapFunction))
1) it's the wrong place for the question
2) like 80% mentioned ramda, lodash, underscore :(7 -
The fun times, watching the little weenie down voting the guy who thinks vanilla js is better than jQuery. Here I thought devs were meant to be more intelligent, yet somehow a 30kb wrapper for js is better than js itself...
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Spent 3 hours yesterday debugging a process in the business that's tied together with my software. Only to find out they actually meant they were printing to the wrong printer 😥🤔1
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Upgraded our internal samba fileshare. Was getting too old. So updating the apt sources list and push the dist-upgrade: what could possibly go wrong?
Everything.
Somehow the locale went astray, updating the manpages gave too many errors and now finally everything's fucked up, because it somehow deleted the sudo binary and root is locked or we don't have password.
We noobs.
But samba was updated and it's still serving our files.7 -
Rant here... Consistent daily Mob or pair pair programming is for noobs, non-competent programmers that delay deadlines and cannot hold their own in corporate development environments5
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I am that dumb, my linux wasn't able to show me the sd card in file manager so i can merge NOOBS .
I got mad so i asked my friend if i can use his windows laptop to put NOOBS on the sd
But guess what , my phone reads sd cards aswell 😂😂
I just downloaded from my phone, copy and pasted
Bam worked!
Took me about 1 day to realize5 -
Whoever left this code with comments like “Le JavaScript” or “Le HTML 5 Shim” I wish you immense anguish.3
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Clean Coders Hate What Happens to Your Code When You Use These Enterprise Programming Tricks
https://youtube.com/watch/...
fantastic presentation all around
its like proving in realtime how i know those certain people who complained about a single const i used are in fact, total noobs and poor programmers!
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
!rant
TL;DR: New(-ish) dev looking for advice to improve workflow and new languages. Hopefully worth a read though :)
Newbie developer here, I took a web applications development class this year since I could take that at another campus rather than do general education courses at my home school, and I have learned and earned a CIW Certification for HTML5, CSS3, and JavaScript, though I know the certificates do squat if I can't apply myself to them, and I have learned PHP and MySQL.
I want to learn more, technically-applicable languages.
My setup is barebones (to a Linux diehard's eyes), with a gaming laptop that I do a lot of workstation stuff on, an RPi 3 B that I do some Linux-y stuff on, and a less-powerful Development Laptop (that I call a devtop) that I occasionally do work away from home on.
I'm sure most will cringe and weep at my workflow, as I use Windows 10 on both systems and the standard NOOBS software on the pi, and I use Brackets as my text editor, as well as the XAMPP AMP stack for testing.
My biggest questions are what could I do to improve my workflow, and what languages should I learn/apply myself to for real-world application (such as Node.js for live-updating server-side applications or C# for Windows applications)?
Thank you for taking the time to read this, any feedback is helpful! I'm just a high school student with a lot of enthusiasm for development!6 -
I am traumatized a bit by seeing so many web applications being "hacked" together by WP integrators.
We see a lot of shit applications when companies knock on our door to have a look at their "sick" systems built on shit like that.
Usually when we feel sorry for the company we stage it up. If freak WP applications had a proper debug log, the first line would read: [WARNING] Put me out of my misery. 😵
Worst of all is that usually we could've built the webapp for half the price the customer spent originally with a proper framework and architecture.3 -
About getting Help.
Hey guys
I've been needing lots of Help and explanations about small electronics and Arduino stuff.
What is the best to place such questions, where we do really get answers and replies to noobs?
Or anyone here, one of the Arduino / Electronic Pros who doesn't mind handling my questions :p
Thanks47 -
god remind me to never work with an education software company again
first, they didn't even know my course has been done for months, like, does anyone look at what your company produces?
then, they completely change the intro page and wording, have to reado that, its anyway a wall of text which they probably smugly think is good for SEO, *WRONG*, if every page is formatted nearly the same with some words swapped out you for sure are PENALIZED, not rewarded... clueless clowns
and NOW, I need exactly to-the-pixel dimensional images????? wtffffffffff
all for a course that *MIGHT* bring in something like $500... *MIGHT*
I mean for these courses it's more important about giving back and helping the community, but asking this much paper pushing busy work bullshit that you know won't even amount to an hourly wage north of something like $2... it's just not worth it anymore
never again -
!rant
This situation, when you are working as external employee in a company that needs you to test safety-critical systems.
You wait months for "THE" (internal) test tool you have to use to implement your specified tests.
Finally , you meet with the responsible dev guy to let him setup everything.
Me: Hi, I'm here for setting up the test tool for project XY
Dev: Eh? No one (manger) ordered the tool for project XY!
Me: -
Spent 4 hours working with a buddy before realizing our failing code stemmed back to using sqlite3 Npm package, which is asynchronous. Switched to better-sqlite3, a synchronous sqlite package, and alls good.
What's the purpose of an async DB anyway? Seemed like it made storing and retrieving data a huge hassle. -
Debugger still throw an exception, you looking for a bug for hours . Couple hours later someone remands you that CSV is comma-separated but your file has semicolon!!! Wwrrrrr
When I working too long I make noobs mistakes.1 -
Co-workers conversation about the new Google Pixel... "I won't get it because they steal your soul, same reason why I don't have the iPhone with the finger print.. they want to have all your information... blah blah..."
I laugh, because they device doesn't matter... your info gets stolen in transit... so all your snap chat, IG DMs, and all of communication potentially at risk to be "stolen".
Example, Gov't splicing into underwater fiber optic cables and redirecting traffic to a data center...
Understand the tech.. please.2 -
Too much wrong with this...
Test your template before sending, noobs!
And... Where oh where is the unsubscribe link?!1 -
Some friend bothers me while I'm coding.
Friend walks away because I asked him to look at what someone on the other side of the room is doing.
I open CMD on his pc.
typed: color 0a
C:/
dir /s
alt + enter
friend: WTF?!
me: blocked by administrator for disturbing the peace.9 -
The world would be much more perfect if Jenkins released images for ARM architectures (Raspberry Pi), so that noobs DevOps wannabes like me could play around with that 😭2
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So I moderate a few facebook groups and they ask questions like "why is the go button greyed out" and provide blocks of code written on paper then ask us to debug them.
When did new programmers become so bloody stupid I recall hiding in a darkened corner for like 3 years before asking anything online?1 -
Muahahahahahahaha!
I just had the most evil thought.
I could create a mod for Minecraft that is an interface to the devrant API. Then I could get thousands and thousands of Minecraft players to use this mod. It would be a FLOOD of noobs who know nothing about devrant posting on devrant from within Minecraft!14 -
That I'll either have to deal with noobs being on my team or I will be the noob on the team. Rare to find a team with similar levels of dexterity.1
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Has it ever happened to you that you take a simple 6 hrs task, build it and then redesign to make it generic by wasting 30 hrs more and spend another 20 hrs documenting it so that others can use that generic feature?1
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Hello devs,
Any recommendation for managed mongodb service provider and server provider?
I am usually a fan of Digital Ocean but DO doesn't seem like a good option for mongodb (especially for mongo-noobs)4 -
Today I read some words about ash deployment. Because I'm a dumbass I until now still deploye via FTP. So I read about flightplan.js and it was just awesome. I saw a video of some guy using it and I switched to girly-mode and started whining. Why didn't I use that earlier???? It's so much easier!!! And faster!!!
But then I read it's not the tool of choice on windows machines. So here's my question: what do I use for deployment on windows? Are there similar tools like flightplan.js?5 -
Coursemates tried to convince me that putty was the programming language we were learning in our Intro to Programming class, not C. I thought they were joking, turns out they were dead serious.1
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So the other day, an old acquaintance asks me (a noob full stack dev) for advice on what programming langs to languages to learn.
I (like all other noobs eager to help) asked him about his previous programming skills, if any. He says "Yes yes, I did a course on HTML and CSS." To this I ask, what exactly are you looking to do. Back-end development he says.
I am frustrated with people asking me what to learn and how to learn when they are not even willing to do slightest of the work themselves. I am usually very helpful to people, but as a programmer, I would certainly try to do a complete research before I go around asking others.
What do you guys do? How do you handle such questions.4 -
Belts are nice and all, but I've always found them to be particularly unfriendly towards laptops.
Buttons aren't much better, which I try to explain to people, but for some reason I still get strange looks when I go bottomless in the public library.
Fucking noobs.undefined stupidnormals itscalledalaptopnotabelttop scrubs itscalledalaptopnotaboxerstop itscalledalaptopnotatrouserstop4 -
One-hot encoding is fucking garbage. Everyone loves using this useless stupid shit that doesn’t work.rant omfg stop it please talent time wasted trend functional programming tech emotions noobs fuck this shit wk2523
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Co-worker with 20 years of "computer" experience, and another that's a graphic designer who has never used Illustrator make suggestions to the owner about what's best for the site... claims the problems he is having with Pricing wouldn't happen if he wasn't using WooCommerce, because "it's really only good for small sites, not sites with 3000 items or more..."
I died a little inside from laughing, as the problems are coming from a custom plugin created by his dev!
n00bs -
dude why there so many dum fuck in this industry like people who just graduated , and don't know shit about tech or anything but flex and complain about shit just can accept that they don't know any shit this many years fucking noobs nothing like why are they , this don't deserve jobs just make bug and always call for help like why cant they figure out their shit, its just cant just spoon feed they every time, like i dont know what happens to this people after or they just survives in it? just tired of getting my ass on whenever they suck dude they dont know how to commit git lol , but never accepts , i am not talking about one person its like a species now , they dont even try to learn even tho they get jobs for no way , itrsucks2
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Well, there is this one video online of some guy who made his own website out of PHP and MySQL (https://youtu.be/lomppRPkeFE) . Good old me didn't care about how we were both noobs that didn't care how cringey the site was. The site had so many vulnerabilities and looked so much like a 90s forum, I offered to help the guy out on a common quest to make an epic website. 2.5 years later and that quest is still in progress today. We actually remade the site too (https://www.novanius.com)1
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Maybe I'm just clueless and missing this somewhere, but I don't see any explanation for noobs on what's a rant/story and what's a devRant. If this is a place for devs to rant, and it defaults to rant/story, I'm just confused.5
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Designs and artistic impressions...on a website.. . Those two have lots of difference dear non programmers. Stop appreciating random crap.
-
Ten Freelance commandments
============================
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine
It's the Ten Freelance Commandments
It's the Ten Freelance Commandments
Number one
The freelance demands satisfaction, if the client accepts, no need for further action
Number two
If they don't, resubmit what's your record
Your historial when there's reckoning to be reckoned
Number three
Set a call or meet face to face
Negotiate a deal
Or negotiate a end in place
This is commonplace, 'specially
'tween noobs
Most projects are done and payment is due
Number four
If the client won't agree that's alright
Time to get a pistol and a doctor on site
You pay him in advance, you treat him with civility
You have him turn around so he can have deniability
[END] -
Does it ever irk you when a tech complains "I didn't know i needed to know this?" As though they didn't realize that IT kinda requires taking on new subjects all the time?1