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*at work* (fictional names)
Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.
😆14 -
My GF, an iOS QA, went for an interview with a large enterprise and was rejected.
Interviewer: Your current application is hybrid or native?
GF: Native, because it is written in swift using native iOS SDK.
Interviewer: Does it use internet?
GF: Yes.
Interviewer: It is a hybrid application if it uses internet. You know nothing about your projects. You are rejected.
GF: 😯21 -
"Hey can you make these changes?"
*does absolutely nothing*
"That's way better!"
Mhmm sure. Totally changed stuff. Yup.1 -
Boss : How do you access code at home ?
Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand
Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?
Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.4 -
2 years ago: Connection goes down at the office
Boss: -"Damnit, you are responsible to ensure uptime. Fix a redundant connection asap."
Me: Fixes redundant connection
Today: Connection goes down at the office, failover connection does not work.
Me: Calls ISP and asks what's happened.
ISP: -"Your boss cancelled the account 3 months ago"
...15 -
* Starts work with boss
* Works till night
* Decide to continue the next day
* Both leave work at the same time
* Both arrive at work next day at the same time
"Hey is the work done?"
Oh forgive me for not fucking dreaming up the work in my fucking sleep.5 -
Expectation: arrive at work, everyone in awe of devrant swag, social status++
Reality: arrive at work, prod failing, get blamed, employment status--
7 -
Someones keyboard just stopped working in my job.
They called the helpdesk and i told them to unplug the keyboard from the back of the PC and try a different usb port before i send them down a new keyboard.
Their reply?
‘How am i meant to do that? I mean... *laughs* I didn’t go to college for this kind of stuff. I know you did but you need to explain it in English for me instead of using technical terms.’
....
So i had to describe what a USB looks like, and tell her how to follow the (only) skinny black cable she has on her desk, down the back of the desk and into the PC. She got overwhelmed by this cable being the same colour as the thicker VGA cable, so ended up unplugging everything!
Its fine though, as when she plugged them all back in, everything was back working.
She finished the call by saying:
“Like, i know how to use a computer but I just don’t understand all this technical mumbo jumbo, like USB’s and stuff? How should i know about that?”
...
I sincerely think interviews need to have just 5 minutes dedicated to the person showing that they know what a bloody USB is!!, can turn on/off a PC, open outlook, and follow basic instructions.
Ugh I work with idiots 😢17 -
The truth is, I don't give two shits if you're a girl, woman, man, black, white, yellow striped with pink polkadots or a transgenderfluid 2headed Ogre kin married to a nuclear penguin from mars- the fact is, what I need you to be is professional. So shut your yapping about your personal shit and get to fecking work.32
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Alone in the office. Everyone left to see Portugal play. Time to blast some heavy fucking metal. 🤘20
-
Collegue: hrrrrrrrrrrrrr *mumbles something*
Me: Rawrrrrrrrrr (the sexual'ish kind)
Collegue: Hmmm what?
Me: Miaaaaaaauwwwww 😏😉
Collegue: Duuuus.... (English something like "sooo...."
Me: x x x x ("kisses") 😏 *😘*
(I know I can do this with him for the record)20 -
Throughout the day I check Google analytics, I do it so much that I have a habit of typing "anal" and hitting enter into chrome and it auto completes,
I accidentally typed it not realising I still had focus on my company Slack chat window. The delete message feature is disabled 😰.7 -
🤣🤣🤣
Somehow, my boss got his son, 19, working in a team of developers last week.
Son: i got ton of money and i dont need to do this. i inherit lot of properties from my dad.(trying to sound funny, superior, and boasting of his inheritance knowledge he might have learned in school during java class probably.)
A guy in the team: No you dont. You are like us.😎😎😎
Son: minds his own business now.
Damn that line made my day.
🤗👏👏👏👏
++ for this dude for insulting morons like this at work.
I may have to remove it on boss request if he see it. But for now hit as many ++ to show that idiot no body likes people like him.8 -
current stage of development at work
anger and rejection at first but now ends up at acceptance and sarcasm
4 -
Got inspired by a rant and got something to make my desk at work more green.
What should I name him/her?
30 -
At home I am root. At work I am at the mercy of incompetent monkeys and their shoddy restrictive systems...
Anyone else?19 -
Corporate proxies that block resources web developers can't work without are the worst, preventing npm and composer from working at all. Easier to work from home than at work.1
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One of my colleagues at work has cooked up this amazing amazing method.. and guys brace yourself.. This code is on production..
17 -
You can work from anywhere... anywhere in the world!
Hmmm... Yeah, right! But not when management likes warm bodies at the office.
I hate, hate, absolutely HATE having to travel to work, spending at least 45min to an hour in traffic just to get to work! 😤😡 And then rinse and repeat to get home... which means I'm up at 5:30 every morning to be at work by 7:30, only to get home past 18:00 - traffic permitting! *sigh* 😩12 -
Someone just rang the IT Helpdesk moaning that outlook wasn't syncing his mail and it was because the brand new laptop he's just gotten is crap.
So first, the guy on the helpdesk asked to log into the users laptop to look at outlook.
He apparently isn't at his laptop and doesn't have time for anyone to log in!
Wtf lol
So he rings back 10 mins later when at his laptop but wont let the helpdesk log in as he has 'confidential' documents open.
Wtf, close them, why are you ringing us to look at your laptop if you won't let us log on?? lol
So helpdesk was like ok, just check cat cable is plugged in, check wifi is off, do a send/receive etc. and the user's like yes, they're all okay!
Helpdesk tells him to reboot his pc. He does so.
Doesn't resolve it.
Skip forward another 10 painful minutes while the helpdesk guy is pulling his hair out checking everything in the background, and all looks fine.
User then says "should i also turn off my iPhone?"
Helpdesk: 'No, outlook is just on your laptop'.
User: 'No *assured laugh* its on my phone too. I get emails there too'
Helpdesk: 'No, you use the generic 'Mail' app on your phone. Outlook is a separate app. We don't use it.'
User: 'But you're not listening, regardless of the app name, that's my problem, mail's not working on my phone'.
Helpdesk: '.....so why didn't you say so 20 minutes ago when i asked to log into ur laptop?'
User: 'Didn't think it was relevant. Laptop was fine. Assumed you'd know'.
...........
Why.
Why???
Why.
Shockingly, a phone restart fixed it. The user couldn't remember the last time he'd turned the thing off.11 -
CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".
So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.
At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.
A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:
"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.
"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!
I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!
It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.8 -
Dear designers/project managers,
I am a developer. That means you don't have to explain simple programming concepts to me that you half know and think you fully understand as if I have never seen code before.
Save your breath and stop being so condescending. You don't know half as much as you think.
Thanks, from one annoyed dev.4 -
Slack: A tool for teams to collaborate and work efficiently
Instead
Slack: A way to share memes at work
Advice... Don't open slack at work 😂3 -
Unintentionally Hilarious joke at work yesterday.
We were doing some data analysis, and I had to dump some stuff into a table for my colleague. So I ran the script and went to the bathroom (no.2).
When I came back, they asked me if the dump is done. And I said without thinking: "I just went." 😂3 -
ARGH. I wrote a long rant containing a bunch of gems from the codebase at @work, and lost it.
I'll summarize the few I remember.
First, the cliche:
if (x == true) { return true; } else { return false; };
Seriously written (more than once) by the "legendary" devs themselves.
Then, lots of typos in constants (and methods, and comments, and ...) like:
SMD_AGENT_SHCEDULE_XYZ = '5-year-old-typo'
and gems like:
def hot_garbage
magic = [nil, '']
magic = [0, nil] if something_something
success = other_method_that_returns_nothing(magic)
if success == true
return true # signal success
end
end
^ That one is from our glorious self-proclaimed leader / "engineering director" / the junior dev thundercunt on a power trip. Good stuff.
Next up are a few of my personal favorites:
Report.run_every 4.hours # Every 6 hours
Daemon.run_at_hour 6 # Daily at 8am
LANG_ENGLISH = :en
LANG_SPANISH = :sp # because fuck standards, right?
And for design decisions...
The code was supposed to support multiple currencies, but just disregards them and sets a hardcoded 'usd' instead -- and the system stores that string on literally hundreds of millions of records, often multiple times too (e.g. for payment, display fees, etc). and! AND! IT'S ALWAYS A FUCKING VARCHAR(255)! So a single payment record uses 768 bytes to store 'usd' 'usd' 'usd'
I'd mention the design decisions that led to the 35 second minimum pay API response time (often 55 sec), but i don't remember the details well enough.
Also:
The senior devs can get pretty much anything through code review. So can the dev accountants. and ... well, pretty much everyone else. Seriously, i have absolutely no idea how all of this shit managed to get published.
But speaking of code reviews: Some security holes are allowed through because (and i quote) "they already exist elsewhere in the codebase." You can't make this up.
Oh, and another!
In a feature that merges two user objects and all their data, there's a method to generate a unique ID. It concatenates 12 random numbers (one at a time, ofc) then checks the database to see if that id already exists. It tries this 20 times, and uses the first unique one... or falls through and uses its last attempt. This ofc leads to collisions, and those collisions are messy and require a db rollback to fix. gg. This was written by the "legendary" dev himself, replete with his signature single-letter variable names. I brought it up and he laughed it off, saying the collisions have been rare enough it doesn't really matter so he won't fix it.
Yep, it's garbage all the way down.16 -
Fuck that fucking company three way while dozens of homeless HIV crack junkies puke and shit their diarrhea on the three bosses!
I can't put it in words how stupid they are!
Let me try to tell you the latest story while I try not to get multiple strokes.
Backstory: We are three devs, all with a TCCI certification. One has been working for us for almost a year, the other one has been working for us since one and a half year. Both are good friends of mine, btw. I have been working there for almost three years.
Fortunately, I am allowed to work on a reasonable computer. The other devs work on PC's with Windows 7 and 8!
One has just 400 MB space left on his drive and has to delete every month some shit because he does not want to be able to call up websites anymore... How awful?!
The PC of the other great Dev Crashes three to six times a day and needs about 30 minutes to start up!
We can be so productive, but...
We told that in February one of our bosses and asked him to buy new hardware. His answer: yes, of course, I understand that, it's my turn (he always says that "ich bin da dran")
We got a new colleague in the middle of this fucking month. She is responsible for conception.
She works on an old notebook, but today she gets a fucking new PC to work on while the devs are trying to weld with a sparkler! Better hardware than every other Dev PC!!!
Guess what? She is the daughter of a friend of one of our bosses!
We are the only devs at this company.
Fuck that fucking company! Fuck that fucking bosses!
I think we don't go to work for that fucking company anymore!6 -
At 4pm, after 6 hours of work of migrating from mysql to mongodb...
I am drinking coffee with my team.
Boss, comes from somewhere and asks...
what do you all want? (What he meant was, go back to work you all)
One of my team member- (angry and agitated) says-- a comfortable sofa.
Holy fuck, i laughed my ass out.
Guess what happend next...22 -
Today at work while reading legacy code:
do {
...
} while(false)
Wanna cry and laugh at the same time22 -
When you learn your project will be launched Monday in an email sent to the whole company, just before the weekend...
I'm not even kidding. No one on our team was consulted if the app was ready or not.
There was no infrastructure in place to even deploy the app. Everything had to be done in a hurry over the weekend to deploy something half baked, thanks to that idiot project manager who told his boss everything was ready.
Two colleagues ended up doing this work over the weekend, but looking back, if I was the one having to get something deployed over the weekend, I would have just refused and come back to work as usual on Monday and watch that idiot explain why it's not live. -
Today I took an extra swig of idiot juice and deleted my /usr/lib directory in the first 5 minutes of the day.11
-
Okay so here are a few lessons that I have learned from being an intern to a junior developer (who’s just 2 years out of college).
- every ninja engineer starts off as a noob. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you don’t know “everything” about coding
- Respect everyone’s opinion (including the one that shouts your design is crap in a meeting). Don’t process them too much.
- leave things that happen at work, in the workplace
- Keep yourself up to date even after you’ve bagged the 100,000$ offer. Never.stop.learning.
- Be polite to your interns (been there). They look up to you and treat their juniors the way you treat them.
- Be honest. Including your tiny scrum updates. If you need more time, tell it. If you’ve screwed up something , own it up.
- Never blame or point fingers.
- Nothing is irreversible.(except things like sudo rm -rf/)
- There’s always a way out(of any mess).
- Respect what came before.
- Respect what comes after (before you push badly written code)
- It’s ok to point out mistakes but Be kind. (Else you’ll end up in someone else’s rant ;-) )3 -
Hello devRant,
This is already from a few days ago but I had to process the whole thing myself first.
It was a normal day at work nothing special. Customers came in got their repaired PC's/Laptops and brought some new work in. So I went through some and then I got to the case that is the most well unbelievable and shocking I had in the only 2 years doing this. At first it was a normal HDD bad sector thing and I started copying the old HDD to a new one.
//NOTE: the program we use shows every file it's copying and the sectors it spans //
Suddenly I saw a weird thing happening where it started copying tons of files from a folder called "mature/kids" over to the new HDD.
I noted the path and after it finished we returned the laptop to the customer and he luckily left his old HDD with us. So my boss and I we did some investigation and we'll turns out the dude has a whole library of childpornography.
tl;dr check what you copied and report such cases to the police.
Don't do such stupid shit and stay legal guys.
Which you all a great day/night/morning/evening/whatever
//EDIT: I ofc won't post pictures cause of obvious reasons3 -
CEO: if we would not give new features, clients would be bored and would not pay for tool.
me: but don't you think we should fix buggy old code, that would reduce effort and time that we daily invest in prod bugs?
CEO: I'm not saying we should not fix them but we should maintain the balance which is 80-20. 80% of our work would include adding new features.
😑
Next day in morning receives email:
There is a production issue, fix it asap.
😬10 -
So this post is going to target an irritating aspect of a specific culture based on observational evidence over the last 20 years, and has reared its hideous face yet again. If you're triggered by that, stop reading here.
I'm flatly fed up with two-faced onshore Desi coworkers. They make up 95% of my colleagues and the following sequence of events has played out repeatedly over the course of my career, consistently, though it's slightly more pronounced in other women for whatever reason :
1. Work with them for years, good relationship, teach them all sorts of skills (which I will do freely for anyone, for any reasons as I view it to be a moral imperative), general lifting up and solid teamwork.
2. They move up in the hierarchy, generally to management, usually project
3. The second they view themselves as higher in the pecking order they start treating me like shit as if we have no history. Rude, commanding, unwilling to share details, obligatory exasperated thank yous if any at all, not interested in anything I have to say even if I'm the noted expert on the subject.
I understand a lot of their etiquette culture, specifically the level of "directness" or politeness they employ is based on the estimated risk of loss in the interaction. I find that disgusting, but I understand that academically. I just can't get my mind around how universal this shiftiness is, as it happens over and over again. It's like human decency and respect go out the window the second they don't feel like they have anything to gain from you. In *my* culture that is the lowest form of behavior a human can exhibit, and it causes me to rage because I can't imagine being so utterly devoid of altruism.
Fuck. It's just so sickening. It's fucking debased, and selfish and greedy and fuck. I can't even, this is one of those things that so irrational my mind can't accept it and I just go around and around on it.
Tl;dr you want to get throat punched? Because that's how you get throat punched. It's definitely getting this person doxxed to USCIS12 -
Public announcement: if you build shitty software and get called out for it, either fix it and stand up for it, or fuck off. Nobody needs your idiotic passive aggressive tone.
Thank you1 -
Me on drugs at work: *focus as fck*
Me at work: shit, what the hell people around me talking about
Damn i love herb7 -
I lost 30+ lbs since May.
I feel alienated at work since I look less and less like other developers at work...4 -
Oh my God...
A colleague of mine got an email. The email was badly translated into our language (probably Google translate was used) it said 'please open invoice attached'.
The anti-virus software successfully marked it as a virus, and did not allow my colleague to open attached 'invoice.exe' file.
Now by this point you would think that the person would just delete the email, but no. The colleague looked at me, and with the bitchiest voice said 'I got an invoice and can't open it after your anti-virus installation. Fix it!'
Needless to say, I had to explain, what a virus is and teach all the colleagues not to get hooked on scam mail... Took about 4 hours to explain this seemingly simple concept.
Fuck knows, how they did not nuke their IT infrastructure before I came here :/11 -
Just found codereddit.com and it looks amazing way to camouflage. Do you think devRant requires similar version?
2 -
My best career choice: coming to work at my current company
My worst career choice: coming to work at my current company2 -
There is a mark on the whiteboard hanging behind my desk that says:
"Days without people walking on <me> doing something weird"
Thus far. The head of the department has walked on me making fun of Indians(I make fun of everyone, my indian brothas from another mothas don't be upset, I particularly make fun of Mexicans), going on a monologue about how the white ranger rules supreme. Why Mario could totally destroy Mickey Mouse in a fight, why my manager is secretly in love with me(with her listening intently into my reasons) and singing the bad touch going "mimi"...dude just make mimi sound like words and you'll get what I mean.
Sometimes the dude just pauses by my desk to check if I am saying anything stoopid.
Work can be really funny sometimes.10 -
I'm on my way to work and I forgot my headphones at home. It's horrible. I can hear people talk and stuff.
Luckily I got my trusty noise cancelling pair at work.1 -
You motherfucking incompetent useless collection of hairy ballsacks even a trained monkey could do a better job than you do. And I swear once we literally cross the 99% availability rate I will find your headquarters and smash everyone's face into each of your fucking servers then set that whole place on fire.
You forget to flush the DNS cache after moving my server (of course on Friday when else), here is 2 days of error page for my site, whoose instructions a normal user simply couldn't follow. Not to mention it pointed to the wrong article.
Random 503 error, and you aren't answering my phone calls, though usually I am the first one who informs you of a fucking problem with your fucking server and I have to wait 5-10 minutes in line while you are figuring out the problem.
And now random forbidden error for my whole page. Out of nothing. I've changed nothing. You said one hour earlier that it's your mistake and it will took around 30 min. Still nothing.
I'm fed up with all your bullshit. Go fuck yourselves.
I'm out...5 -
I’m so fucking sick and tired of !devs telling me how simple a feature should be to implement.
Like motherfucker the most complicated thing you’ve ever done with a computer is attempt (and fail) at working with tables in Microsoft Word and you’re trying to tell me how long a new feature/K8s architecture/noSQL aggregation should take to implement?
A monitor cable wiggling loose paralyses you for hours but I’m supposed to bow down to your understanding of what is causing a bug?6 -
Germans get made fun of for being focused on work and not wanting to have fun (at work).
But it's exactly what I like about them. I would join and work at a German company in a split second.
Fuck all the small talks and fun Fridays, let's just get the work done, get paid and go home and have fun at home.22 -
Most unprofessional exp. at work:
A lead developer working on personal projects at work, in plain view of directors. Also openly talking about his business venture when possible. -
Idiots. Just... Fucking Idiots.
Junior Frontend dev got a feature to implement. Decided to add a field to a set of mongo collections. I'm the responsible adult for those collections. Talked to the junior - told it, "don't do that, you will lose the data you are adding later". Junior says "will not happen", and goes on to try and prove It is "Right". Problem? Junior is an Idiot. did not trigger the data loss scenario. So... Junior got his TL to talk to the RND manager. And those Idiots Decided that the implementation will go forward as is.
Data loss will happen. QA will not find it. Only the client will experience the data loss, and complain....4 -
I've never coded (for work) on vacation. I just turn off my work laptop and my work phone. So I can spend the first week of back to work for going through my email & messages.
I'm not irreplaceable and I work with competent people. (At least that's my goal at work.) -
Do you think that "Work From Home" or "Remote Work" tends to reduce the work life boundary for the employees?
What I think is that Managers feel fine pinging employees at any time of the day. And as employees either you get good at ignoring messages or work outside the working hours.20 -
Found this gem today (and there is not anything else defined as "any") WTF are you kidding me? Some people should not be allowed to program
2 -
Me after a good day at work: “Hmmmm… I like it here. I can stay for at least a year”
Me after a bad day at work: “Fuck this. I should apply for jobs elsewhere. Fuck Capitalism”6 -
Stupid egos/politics at work
Seriously the work will be more enjoyable and with less drama fuck that -
Now that most people at our company is working remotely at home, the worst thing is that everyone thinks I can somehow magically fix their home network..3
-
Don't you just hate when a junior has been assigned a task in the domain you have experience, and instead of asking you for context and approach, the person asks for the EXACT LINE CHANGES INCLUDING THE LINE NUMBERS TO BE MODIFIED? Might as well assign the task to me.7
-
After realizing I had a problem, I finally broke down and called the tinnitus hotline.
It just kept ringing and ringing.6 -
Programmer like working at night (at least I like working at night). Would it be cool if there is a company which the work hour will start at midnight and end at early morning?
Customer facing side of the company can work the regular hour while developer will work at night.10 -
We have the funniest and weirdest conversations during lunch, most of them not dev related. Have been thinking about ranting them for a while now because they are just good fun.
The following one brought a bit of a discussion so It convinced me to post it because i would like to hear all of your opinions about this one:
Imagine that one day you come home and there is a (deep) clone of yourself having sex with your wife, what would you do?
We got divided into 3 groups mostly.
Group one would send him away and let him life his own life.
Group two would make use of the fact that there are 2 of them.
Group three would murder him, the explanation Why Was quite interesting, because it was the first instinct of them, it would also have been from the clone, that's why that had to.
Again I would like to hear what you all would do :)
Maybe if this one does okay I will post more stories11 -
people that answer a question with another fucking irrelevant question should have a special place in hell !!
why dont you just answer the fucking question when in the first place i asked you politely and nicely !!
the question doesn't even deserve a fucking follow up question in the first place !!
you've wasted both our time with your stupidity!!8 -
When you have no work to do at work because the ball is in other people's court. And you need to stay at work for another 6 hours..5
-
Like who the hell invented that work days start at 8 am? Can people actually concentrate from the moment they arrive at work? For me it is 9 am till I get some work done11
-
Starting a project with someone that programs like an idiot on steroids. Like, why are you using 20 switch statements to set a variable instead of of just a single line linear expression. I removed hundreds of lines from one of this ass's files. I've never seen such a complicated mess of garbage.5
-
So my boss yells at me for texting right after she finished her text. Not sure if I wanna throw back the sass at her.4
-
Dear great ux lords at ms azure devops, could you make the whole freaking button clickable instead of just the text inside of the button?
10 -
Finally no more xcode at work :D
But now I have to work with React Native, still a better thing to work with than Ionic 1 + Angular .-.6 -
Setting up a Haskell environment on Windows is fucking AIDS. Guess I'll screw it and just use ANTLR for my compiler.6
-
Soooo....,fellow Devranters,some moron just sent a PR with just an added space.....
Idiots never cease to exist8 -
We called a customer because that on their server a directory is missing which was important for production.
Turned out that they didn't miss a directory because they worked in the development environment of the same customer but in a different location. For the last 3 months. -
I remember the promise I made to myself when I dropped out of university to look for work.
"I'll explore different areas of software engineering since I like a number of them. But never shall I ever do backend web development"
Guess what job I landed.1 -
50% of my work is passed by my co-workers as their work
99% of my work comes from StackOverflow and GitHub
At least, I take public domain work -
Are you using your own laptop at work? Or your company provides you with a company laptop? I use my own at work because I don't like to develop using company windows desktop.13
-
Today the government from Costa Rica announced their solution to tax double any UBER charge registered to debit/credit cards.
Their logic is to pretty much do it for any commerce that includes the letters UBER. Like something out of your first Unity C++lesson2 -
My body is begging me to sleep, but there is so much caffeine in my blood that brain is not letting me to do so....
-
Work: work late till 1 am
Also work: come in at 7 am
Me: zzzzzzz
Also work again: why arn't you getting anything done2 -
What hours do you work?
I work 9-6, most people at my office work 7-4 or 8-5. I have the flexibility to work when I want, but never get to bed early enough to start earlier than 9. I feel behind when I get in the office because most of my coworkers and clients have already been at for an hour or 2.
When do you work and why? Can you tell if it’s impacted your career at all?16 -
At work I'm surrounded by happy_looking_fucking_around_with__me_and_each_other idiots, literally. Fine I'll just work for money and experience. Jeez 🙄1
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Yesterday had fogged mind all day long. I felt like the biggest r-word in the world. Couldn't even map some simple API arrays.
Tool Laterus just makes me woke AF.
Been coding hard today since I turned on the pc1 -
Spent last 2 days trying to get an upstream data file loaded. I've now concluded it's just corrupted during transfer beyond repair... But I got to practice lots of Linux commands trying to figure out what the issue was and fix it (xml parser was throwing some error about nulls originally)
vi, grep, head, tail, sed, tr, wc, nohup, gzip, gunzip, input output redirection -
A certain person deserves nothing better than the signs of the tires of a full-speed heavy truck tatooed on her face (even though, I admit, it could be an improvement to the overall aesthetic). Especially when she wants to push the office (1 week before the vacations and with no real urgency, while there a tons of other jobs that are way more urgent) to modify one by one some field in the data of 5500 customers only because SHE (and only she) has a bonus, when everything could be solved with a fucking simple sql update and we only need a simple approval for that from the company of the project management software. All of this while she spends the time planning her own vacations in internet, or complaining about EVERYTHING, including the colour of the icons of her pdf reader (30 min complaints about a stupid icon). Responsible my ass.
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A few years ago:
Installing Visualstudio 2008 on Xp.
Pc is laggy as f.
Start browsing nsfw to kill time and boss comes over. Try to close browser and not working. Start to panic a bit. Boss comes over looking at black boxes.
Pictures didnt render. I was so lucky1 -
I can't change my choice of beer this week because the company is stocked for another 2 weeks.
Damn! I love my job.
I'm just a dev. -
so there was this issue regarding our company's system which tends to be a problem for sometime now, its a recurring issue caused by the data that the users needs to encode to the system
today another issue arised, our senior supervisor, not knowing that this issue was already recurring and there is already a documented step procedure on how to address it, suggested or come up with a another solution which would task one of our co-developer to push a temporary code to production during business hours just to accommodate the issue and rollback the code after
take note that its during business hours and more than a hundreds of branches of the company are using the said system
what was he thinking !!
thankfully one of our colleagues voiced out explaining that this issue was already recurring and already has a procedural solution, but still our brainy-know-it-all-stubborn-close-minded heck of a supervisor insisted that the solution has computational impact and still insisted that they push a temporary code to the production, what an idiot!!
fast forward our colleagues ended up standing their ground, even if our supervisor is highly doubtful at them, and executed the already established solution instead of pushing a temporary code to the production which was such a bullshit idea
damn those close minded people they shouldn't have reach that position in the first place!! -
Needed to setup the database for the web app on one of our Raspberry pis...
Gave the group's sysadmin the sql file and told him to tell me when he was done so I could change the connections in the app. - < two days ago
While he was supposed to take care of it I continued developing the app.
Today I went to ask him what was up with the db, said he wasn't able to import.
This guy, didn't read the error, didn't tell me about it, asked no-one for help and just went back to YouTube for two fucking days.
I'm so done with group projects1 -
Okay. Four work days remaining this week, but still six days worth of work. My project manager sucks at maths.3
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Maybe I should get a keychain rubber duck or something... I'm programming at work, at school, at dorm, at home. Might be good to have a portable solution.3
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!rant
Since few days/weeks, I'm way less productive, much easily distracted, not into my job ... I'm the only dev here, mostly alone at office, and a lot of pressure on my shoulders ... Do you have some tips, to gain productivity, and have the smile back ?
PS : every single day I just dream about my current side project, but it's my job who pays the bills ..14 -
I admire those people that are able to concentrate everywhere. I'm always looking for it and sometimes find it in the peace of my bedroom. Today found it in my car while listening to music from 70 to 90's
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Have you guys ever seen another dev at you work just completely lose it? How do you cope with stress, rage, frustration at work? (other than DevRant) Stories, please.7
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I was the last three days alone at work (at least in my sub-team). I don’t know when I was so productive the last time.
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So there is this big shot at work who makes out to the management that he knows it all. I'm pretty quiet normally and dont let on. The manager kiss his ass daily. He was an apprentice 6 months ago. So we all in some shitty meeting today about some based web service that uses a Linux host. Then in the meeting he asked me if Linux was free? Hahahaha haha. What a fucking idiot! I mean I get that people don't know everything but that
S a whole new level of stupid! 😅🤣😅🤣 -
Thought I would work on a side project this evening to make my life easier at work. *spends the next 4 hours setting up my works dev environment at home.*
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What's worse than being underpaid for your work?
Asking you to make stupid and pointless changes to it time and again.8 -
Typing a quick terminal command. Didn't work. Type it again. Didn't work. Look at your IDE. Goddammit!
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Working on an epic of financial gateway transfer. Following what our douche onshore guy had proposed, we realized there was a can of worms ahead.
Discussing the flow ( aka which service calls which, which file calls which ) with him over the call, we had to literally remind him the entire script of flow he had proposed.
At the end, he says, set up a call right now to discuss the ALGORITHM.
And at that moment, CLRS laughed their asses off.
Why the f--k, to coercely sound technical, does he say ALGORITHM to a FLOW of modular components ? -
Configuring your work monitor to extend to the right and home monitor to the left so that you leave your work windows at work and home windows at home.
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Does anyone else get terrifying headaches at the end of a work week? By work I mean any type of computer related work?8
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I have once again ended up waking up at 4am, and starting work at 6am - the catch? I don't have any work lined about except one issue I am simply unable to resolve
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Most places that I have worked have had a friendly theme of software vs electrical vs mechanical. A lot of the time I have been on both the electrical and software "sides". I am always on the lookout for messing with these groups. Probably why I like devrant. So I thought about a way to mess with electricals.
Bob: Man, we are having issues figuring this problem out.
Me: I think it needs a temporal adjustment.
Bob: What?
Me: You need to use a "toroidal condenser".3 -
So I'm at the office today. Really missing singing along off key at the top of my lugs while I drink on the job and work in just underwear.
Also missing all my screen real estate2
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