Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.

Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.

*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*

Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?

Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.

Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.

He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.

Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.

Dev: what do I call this file ?
Me: just name it something meaningful so other dev's know what it is

Two days pass

Me: time to do code review .. oh look a new file ..

Git comment : new file for sax parsing , architecture gave the ok.

File name : SomethingMeaningful.java

How it usually goes:
1. Have an idea
2. Do about 3 of those things:
- sketch out a few diagramms of how it would work
- think of a name and buy the url
- estimate what you would have to buy and what it would cost
- make a project folder
- lean back, imagine life after the idea made you rich and famous
- write about 2% of the required code
3. Get distracted or don't have time to work on thr idea
4. Have new idea, repeat from 1

Me being a good collegue teaching my friend basic C++ for upcoming exam and trying my best not tore my friend apart.

Crime scene: university's library, today, 1PM.

Me: Create a new class, just type 'class' and hit TAB
Him: I'm trying to but it pastes some code
Me: That's the point of hitting TAB.. now that we are finished, include it in your main file, the one with main entry point
Him: I have no such thing
Me: Look for main function
Him: There's none, what is it called?
Me: ...main
Him: Yeah, what is it called?
Me: ..main, the name is main
Him: I get it, but what is it called?
Me: 'MAIN' FOR GODS SAKE, THE NAME IS 'MAIN' *points towards my code*..
Him: Oh, okay, I get it now
Me: Ok, let's compile
*Error pops on his screen*
Him: You know what, I don't think you can really program.. *closes laptop and walks away*.

FML

What is another name for a computer virus ? 
=> A terminal illness 

Building a website for a client. Asked what URL they would like for the domain name...

Their reply:

If I had a child I would name him or her "sudo" so I would be sure he/she would do what I say.
"Sudo don't touch the oven!"

Dream project? Create a social network for devs where they can rant. Just need to think of a name.

What do you mean it already exists!?!

😁

Got a phishing email with name-pw sent as get parameters so i did what ever respectable human would have

That moment when you're setting up a quite sexual domain name.... If you know what I mean 😋

Headphones are in, colleague calls my name, I take them out a little annoyed at the interruption.

Colleague: what did one window say to the other?
Me: you're such a pane you know that?
Colleague: no but fuck! That's better

At work today. Someone unregistered a domain name (don't remember the exact one) with something funny/positive about beer (for example beerisawesome.com).

Collegue: What?! Why would you unregister this?!?
*tells the boss*
Boss: well someone's got their priorities fucking wrong.

😆

I am amazed. I witnessed (mostly heard) a 14 year old girl calm down a young adult female suffering an anxiety attack before I managed to push through people on the tram. She told her to close her eyes, breath, tell her what she smells, then open her eyes, name first thing that she sees, then look left, name first thing, etc.

This is called sensory grounding and it works. And yeah, what she did was pretty awesome but this isn't what amazed me the most. I asked where she learned that and she said "from a game about apes". And I knew exactly which game she meant. There's a title called Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey and among many interesting mechanics there's one that puts the player in a state of anxiety when they venture into an unknown territory. The way to win that part is by analyzing surroundings by vision, hearing and the sense of smell before a panic countdown goes to zero. It's called "conquering your fear". Holly fuck, I played that and I didn't connect the dots. Are games nowadays teaching kids how to handle real life crisis? Where were those games when I was a kid??

Having an english conversation with a russian client.
"What do you want the info to be?"
"I want the name, adress and etc."
"Etc?"
"Yes! I attached you a picture with everything...as you can see..."
<the picture is a huge table in russian>
"But the table is in russian"
"Yes"

I am currently at vacation and staying at a campsite.
There is a WLAN called 'Seecamping1'.
Well I had to try cracking their password...
First attempt: The name of the WLAN, didn't work.
Second attempt: 1234567890

...

Guess what.
It worked lol

Got inspired by a rant and got something to make my desk at work more green.
What should I name him/her?

"The CRM has this address wrong" - Client

"What do you mean? Where?" - Me

"When I start typing the business name it autofills wrong" - Client

"You mean Chrome is auto-completing from a previous typo you entered, and you're blaming the software? That'll be $100 for Chrome training." - Me

I thank whoever made the jsRant, a client for devrant to view in js looking style in browser. Teacher walked passed by and asked what i was doing. I said i was exploring the source of the newest javascript framework. He said what is the name. I said semicolonJS. He asked who made it. I said some person who has fox in his name did it.
Thanks everyone! I had some laughs after he walked passed by without noticing anything.

Riskiest Dev choice...

Leaving a previous job, moving 1000KM (620 Miles) away with no job prospects and going absolutely broke.

This was all in the name of “I need a better job”, so what better way to force yourself to get one.

I’m currently in my second job since then and now make just over double what I was earning before.

Sometimes it takes a high risk to get out ahead.

Generic-IT
--------------
Client:"So we would like to found a new company and offer IT and network consulting. Would you be able to build our website?"

Me:"Absolutely. What will be the name of your company?"

Client:"The name is going to be 'Generic-IT'. The website is going to be 'generic-IT.com' . We checked that with google."

Me:"I am sorry to tell you that generic.com is already taken by another company. Incidentally that company offers the same services, that you intend to offer. They also seem to be quite big an have businesses in 5 different countries.
Because of this I advise you to pick a different name that does not get you into trouble and makes positioning your own brand easier."

Client:"We want to neglect that problem for now."

Me:"0.0 ..... -_-""""
"Well, listen. Apart from the possible branding and copyright problems imagine how people will find you on the web. ...What will happen if you google 'generic IT'?"

Client:"Yeah well, we want to neglect that. And with SEO you can do something about that."

Me:"..........Welllll, you that SEO is not a cure all, right? The older an bigger company will come up first. Why not avoid that missunderstanding and come up with a unique name?"

Client:"......"

Me:"Please tell me. Doesn't any part of my argument make sense to you?"

Client:"..."

Me:"Well, ok. I will send you the estimate on monday."

___________

Then over a back channel I hear that the client is ...bewildered, why I would not stick to my area of expertise.

There I was now. Left bewildered myself, being the one with the webagency that does frontend design and branding.

Coworker 1: Ugh, what name should I give this variable? Any idea?

Coworker 2: Doesn't matter that much. Just give it a name.

Coworker 1: ** Types in "albert" **

The hardest part of programming is not the inner workings of the chosen frameworks and tech.

It's the damn naming.

I will spend hours trying to figure out what to name things for sense and clarity and then a fraction of that time coding it together.

*me, staring out the window*

"Hey dude can you--"

"Ssshhh. I'm naming things."

If I was a super hero I would want to be called "ThreadPool"

What name would you pick?

I wonder how the secret service comes up with all these cool names for secret operations they do when i am sitting here thinking what to name one variable for last 30mins. I should probably hire someone from there as a variable namer dev..

What is a domain name system doing in a hospital..!
And, it has its own office too..!

Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute

Me: sure. What do you need?

Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on

Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it

Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)

Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.

Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>

Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?

Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...

Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?

Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>

Me: you mother fucker...

Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts

45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...

Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?

Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!

Me: Where ever you want

Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.

I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑

He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.

Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.

Friend - Could you develop a Website for me ?
Me - What exactly for?
Friend - (Explains what he wants) and the name of the site should be eventsomethingmanagement.com
Me - oh for that you'd have to buy the domain name, and host your site there
Friend - I thought you'd do all of that
Me - Seriously? NO
Friend - I thought you were an engineer
Me - :|

expect([
row[‘blah’][0][1],
row[‘blah’][1][1],
row[’blah’][2][1],
row[‘blah’][3][1],
row[‘blah’][4][1],
]).to contain_exactly(
a.name(user), # “John doe”
c.name(user), # “John doe”
e.name(user), # “John doe”
b.name(user), # “John doe”
d.name(user), # “John doe”
)

(Note: The comments are mine.)

See the problem? No, not the ugly code (which is actually worse than what i posted here).

It’s using the same ridiculous getter (if you can call it that) that pulls a name out of the passed user object, and then expecting each row to have that name, in order. Not that order matters when they’re all the same.

Upon inspection, all objects created by the spec have the exact same name, so the above test passes (as long as there are 5 rows). It passes, but totally not because it should: those aren’t the objects that are actually in the table. All of the specs — all 22 of them — only check for that shared name on various rows, and no other data. And it’s not like this is the only issue, either.

Fuck me these are bad.

And this guy is a senior dev earning significantly more than me. Jesus what the fuck Christ.

* login tutorial *

Alright, everything looks good and secure and all

"and now to keep the user logged in..."

Aww ye, this is just what I needed

"we set logged in to \"true\" in a cookie and add another cookie with the users name"

* How other sites charge for a domain name
- The domain (abc.com) is available
---- Price => $14

* How AWS charges
- Your domain (abc.com) is available
--- Domain name => $18.99
--- DNS resolution => $17.88
--- Hosted zone (1) => $10.97
--- Route53 Interface => $45.67
--- Network ACL => $63.90
--- Security Group => $199.78
--- NAT Gateway (1) => $78.99
--- IP linking => $120.89
--- Peer Connection => $67.00
--- Reverve Endpoint => $120.44
--- DNS Propagation => $87.00
--- Egress Gateway => $98.34
--- DNS Queries (1m) => $0.40
--------------------------------
---- TOTAL => $2903.99
(Pay for what you use... learn more)
--------------------------------

id like to give a shout-out to whoever the fuck this is

👏 what a great name

Dead 💀 developer.

My first interview,
Back then was technical graduated local CompSchool. Call for a job newspaper, by phone ☎️ the Supervisor assign a date for interview.

In the office the developer guy was amaze because he will hire any from CompSchool he also was student and all stuff made was on the premised of he learned and worked on the company.

About half and hour talks, he write my name on a post-it and put on HR desk.
“Come back tomorrow morning .. tell me you got the job !”

Do so, entering the office next day, was a sad people talking.. the Developer is 💀 dead (drugged on a party).

So this guy “my name in the post-it” is our salvation for all the database, passwords, accounting, etc. and spell my name.

What tha... got the job, the money 💴, was 18 years old, with excessive income (dead guy salarie).

Worked 3 1/2 years for the company.

Thank you 💀 for the opportunity.

Can we, please, put some substance into our rants? Over the course of the last weeks the amount of rants of the type "%NAME% %SWEARWORDS%" has increased tremendously. You want tell everyone that (for example) Windows can go fuck itself? Great. But why? What is the story behind you're enragement?

Please make this place more fun to browse by sharing stories. Not just a random amount of names and swearwords.

Alright lets work on the security/privacy blog again.

Things I've got in the making right now: dark theme by default, font change and an rss feed!

Let me know what you'd like to see :)

I'll also reveal a new domain name soon!

Daily fortune;
Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A: The same middle name.

This damn thing always makes me laugh

Is it really unreasonable that I wish aws would just name their fucking products after what they are? Why the fuck is dns called route 53? Why the fuck is a vm an elastic cloud compute node? Stop being pretentious dicks and just name things what they are!

Am I being unreasonable?

I took a civil service exam October last year, the list of passers where posted in the government website last December. My name wasn't on the list. I was heart broken. :'(
I wasn't able to apply for the job I wanted. I thought that I'm so stupid I can't even pass an exam.
I was depressed for almost a month.
Then yesterday, a friend of mine was searching google since I refuse to tell her my middle name.
Suddenly she exclaimed, wow! you're a civil service exam passer!
I was shocked beyond belief!
I checked the website, my name is still not there. HAHA. (deep inside it hurts)
I cursed my friend for trolling me but she swear that it's true. She sent me the link and BOOM! my name is on the list of APRIL passers!
WHAT THE HECK???
i just verified through phone that I actually passed and that it was an error on their website that included me on the wrong list. I don't know whether to be angry or pleased. lol XD

Customer: I keep getting your newsletter with my password in it.

Me: What?

I look through the accounts. The customer had set their name as their password... a year ago.

You know you're fucked when even the lead dev can't think of a decent solution for your problem which is...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... the most difficult challenge devs have ever faced:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
What should be the name of the github repo for the new module?

Let me tell you a story:
One upon a time poor lil PonySlaystation received a call. It was a nice guy who cried about his WordPress website had been hacked. So the clusterfuck began...

He gave me the login credentials for the hosting back-end, DB, FTP and CMS.
A hacked WP site was not new for me. It was probably the 6th of maybe 10 I had to do with.
What I didn't expect was the hosting back-end.
Imagine yourself back in 1999 when you tried to learn PHP and MySQL and all was so interesting and cool and you had infinite possibilities! Now forget all these great feelings and just take that ancient technology to 2018 and apply it to a PAID FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER!
HOLY FUCKING ASSRAPE!
Wanna know what PHP version?
5.3.11, released the day before gomorrah was wiped.
The passwords? Stored in fucking plaintext. Shown right next to the table name and DB user name in the back-end. Same with FTP users.
EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE FUCK?!

I have to call Elon Musk and order some Boring Company Flame Throwers to get rid of this.

Long story long, I set up a new WP, changed all passwords and told the nice guy to get a decent hoster.

HR: I’m sure you know what this meeting is about

Dev: My script that converts the name of our 3rd party IT provider in any email thread I reply to with “PooPoo Inc.”?

HR: No, that is a separate meeting

Dev: Ah.

An idea for a romantic gesture to my python loving girlfriend

ill make a library with poems I wrote for her and other nice stuff
upload it to pip and call it by her name
now you can pip install it

every time you do import "her name"
it will write out a poem about her

what do you think?

What sort of fucking asshole decided to name it "data science"? We already have a "science of studying data", it's called Statistics...

I got a callback for mobile app development, I told them I had only worked in Android. When I got to the actual interview, "ok, your Resume and all is fine and all, but we are actually looking for an iOS developer" I stood up and walked out. I mean what in the name of holy fucking hell were you thinking you miserable son of a bitch.

I'm working with a customer named Clint.

I realize now that over numerous tickets I started mistyping his name... just every god damn time.

Guess what letter I left out?

Nice guy for not correcting me ... extra fast ticket response for him now.

Getting ready for GDPR at work. I had to explain to my bosses what it meant, especially regarding one of our project where we store a lot of user data. Then I heard it: "this crap doesn't regard us. we have no sensitive data. we only save out users' name and generalities.". I have no words.

I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.

On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.

Yup.

For Fuck's sake never name your variables $a $b or $c. What the fuck I thought that's like the first thing they teach in whichever bush you learnt how to code at!!!!!!

When I don't know what a technology is about, I type it's name into Google search followed by 'vs'.
Google then suggest similar stuff, which helps me understand what I'm looking at.

I just remember this short story:

When I was about 7 or 8 (around 1994), my dad had a computer at his office with MSDOS.

There I'd type "carmen.exe" and it would start "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?" or "pool.exe" would run a 2D Pool game I don't remember the exact name.

And yet, there was a "dolphin.exe" that I always thought it was a game but I never got it running. Obviously I don't remember what was the exact issue but to this day, 20+ years later it still bugs me to know what was this "dolphin.exe" program.

This might actually be my first real rant.

Whatever fucking cockgoblin decided that making dynamics GP so fucking confusing needs to suck a big bag of dicks. I'm so fucking tired of having to google every damned table name and column name because nothing makes any motherfucking sense.

Am I supposed to instinctively know what PM20201 does? What data it holds? I don't mind reading documentation. But it's hard to even know where to start when the shitbird API and database are more complicated than calculating orbital fucking decay.

I am done. Fuck you gp. Fuck you and your nonsense. I guess our sales people don't get to know when an invoice was paid.

So...new intern , table paired to mine , get my hopes up that it's hopefully not another stuck up uni kiddo , hopes get ruined . He asked me my name and what I do , when I told him I do product security his reaction was 'oh so you're not a dev ?' . Go.eat.shit.and.choke.with.those.alienware.headphones. he didn't even listen to what I had to say about that , just put on his headphones and ignored me . Prick.

Thinking of a flipping name for what ever your making

Today I discovered what slowed my productivity the most: variable naming.

In a project I was naming many variables 'dirname' in different parts of the my code, but it represented 3 things: only the name of the directory, relative path + directory, and absolute path + directory.

I wasted to much time just figuring out which was which everytime until I finally decided to organize variables names better and see the wonders of the world. Result:
- dirname: only the name
- reldirname: relative path + dir
- absdirname: absolute path + dir

Such simple solution, yet took me years to actually see the benefits, my god

(First devRant post btw :3)

Well, the system is offline, links are broken and users are complaining! Developer, what did you do?

After some digging around the designer made a "simple change" to a csv file, add a column to include the image file name of each item...

I mean, it just shifted ALL THE COLUMNS in a csv file but what could go wrong? 🤦‍♂️

at a previous job at a shit company ran by bible-thumpers, i was rebuilding the company website for my a-hole boss. I asked him where I should get images from- if there was a stock photo site he preferred or what.
"Just pull them off Google. That's what I do."

Later when I was combing through the site, I saw he'd added images that CLEARLY STATE another COMPANY'S NAME in the image themselves. Nothing like promoting another company on your OWN company website, huh?
(And no, their company name is not ActiveMobi.)

They're still there, 3+ years later. Dumb ass.

Why yes, it makes total sense for a variable called `$connectionString` to only accept either booleans or integers ... wat

Also beware the beauty on how well that names conveys the variable's intent.

FML

20 minutes trying to convince my boss (lead dev) that dynamically create tables on DB based on file name to store uploaded json content isn't a good design approach and he is still convinced that 500 lines will really impact performance that much on one table and that this is the best design...

Based on this approach, he wants to create another table with the user who last modified and the "fk" (not sure if he even knows what this is cause none of the fks here point to anything...) would be the table name... now I know where those hideous tables we have here come from...

Don't know if I laugh or cry...

Oh gosh.. i can finally understand the CV and application nightmare stories... We're getting new people in, and there are quite a few interesting ones.

0) pages of randomly placed info. PAGES. I'm lost in there!!

1) no basic info whatsoever. Like, no nationality(we're recruiting internationally), no birthdate, barely his name and email. I know that the first ones are not really needed for the job, but they're still customary.

2) entry level back and/or frontend job. This guy's a phd graduate, working research with big data in a bio-something department. We're a web startup.

3) there are some listing so much unrelevant stuff, I'm not even sure if they meant to apply to us.

4) (my favourite) email subject: application, email body: empty, attached: short_application.doc ("hi, this is an application to the posted job. Best regards, Name") WAIT WHAT?

I hate it when you are enrolled in a college for a cse degree but they decide to teach you quantum mechanics and environmental sciences cause you never know, may need them someday. However in the name of cse they teach you what was magnetic optical drive and about mice and printers cause as a cse student you should know how the mouse, the keyboard, printers work. How is electricity that powers your tools is generated? How much energy is generated or required to display the colour on you monitor? And programming, well thats what the company train you in after recruitment!!

I hate it when code line are structured like this.Get().Start().Trim().Where(a=>a.id = newId).ToList().ConvertAll(...).EndMaybe().Name

Are you a fkin compiler or what

Hi yall! I've been here a while, but never actually posted anything. Love reading your rants though, always makes me giggle^^
Anyways, I'm a IT student and I got this new job as an IT-consultant.
So we had this big meeting today, together with the CEO and a lot of other new employees with different engineering profession... So everything went fine until the end. We were supposed to stand up and say our names, what we're studying and tell a fun fact about ourselves and I TOTALLY fucked it up... I kinda said my name, I completely forgot to tell what I'm studying and my fun fact was something about ppl having a hard time with my name. Like, wtf are you even saying dude?! All I wanted was to was write code, why can't I just do that?

Two weeks into our fresh new Android app my colleague decided to define 1dp dimension unit in dimens.xml:
<dimen name="dimen_1dp">1dp</dimen>

During my code review I asked him if there was no better name for it as it's simply overstating the obvious and does not scale well for other resolutions. He didn't understand what I meant so I said would you then define this for xxdpi
<dimen name="dimen_1dp">4dp</dimen> just because you need more padding on higher density screens?

Then he goes on for 10 minutes how he thought about other names (doesn't say which ones) and still decided to stick with this one.

I politely heard him out and made it abundantly clear that I disagree with that naming (not the value). And I also backed up my point by saying that what he did is exactly the same as defining a color in colors.xml like this:
<color name="color_FFFFFF">#FFFFFF</color>

Then he frowned and said (paraphrasing): Noooooooo, that is so wrong. I would never do that. It's not the same as what I have done.
Then he again started defending his point which probably would have gone for good 10 minutes except I literally bit my tongue and walked away from my desk hoping he wouldn't follow as I was dangerously close to punching him!

Fucking enganeers!!!

Now that Android P is officially named "Pie",
It makes me wonder what they'd name Android Q?😂

I'm not even aware of any desert that starts with a "Q". 😋

I am using this SDK and I came across a property "Orientation" of type int.

Why int? Is it an enum or something? Let's have a look into the online documentation...

"Gets or sets the orientation."
😣

Yeah, thanks. Very useful.
It's again that kind of documentation which simply restates the property name or method name. Who needs this?

So I tried to set the Orientation property to 1 to see what happens.

A runtime exception then told me that the only valid values are 0, 90, 180 and 270.

Well, this is kind of stupid but ok, I can live with that.
But ffs, put that info into the documentation, where it belongs!

Wtf..what a name for wlan spot

hey google, make my life harder. let's have an SDK version, then a corresponding android version, and finally a clown name like cotton candy or oreo or whatever so I always know exactly what version I'm working with without confusion 🙄🤡

Reported an important security vulnerability inside our organization, right before getting off work. A security team member contacts me over chat asking for some details on my investigation. At the end, he tells me: "thanks, I will copy and paste this conversation on the ticket so that everyone can see".

What I imagined: he would copy and paste the conversation as is, so that every line written by me is prefixed with my name.

What he does: he writes a summary of our conversation, barely mentioning my name, making it look like that part of the investigation was done by him.

Now I have so much anger inside of me that my internal organs are boiling.

There was a computer programming teacher in my 1st semester who taught C. He used to have this conventional way of teaching C like other Engineering subjects which was going to more theories before writing actual codes.
These are the conversations with him.
(First day, a guy asks him some questions.)
Guy: Sir, why do we need to learn C? There are other languages used extensively for other tasks like python,etc. Why bother with this boring C?
Teacher: C is used to learn other languages. After learning C, you can easily learn other languages.
Guy: Sir, where is C's application? Where is it used?
Teacher: It is used in academics to lay foundation for students to learn other languages which are used to build softwares.
(Fucking Hilarious)

(A month after he was asking some questions to students.)
Teacher: What is an array? What is an array-name?
Student 1: Array, is this collection of data that can be stored in a single type.
Teacher: Then what is an array-name?
Student 1: I don't know.
Teacher: (angrily) Array-name is a definition itself.
(We were supposed to answer that. It was a standard definition.)

Had a customer call - the guy's name was "Kevin", which in Germany isn't even a name, but rather a diagnosis for stupidity. However, he was really competent and into the stuff. So what now, readjust my prejudice? Nah, he had an Asian family name, so I instead learnt that being of Asian ancestry trumps "Kevin" as given name.

What docker means:
Sorry pal, service names mustn't contain spaces

What docker says:
desc = name must be valid as a DNS component

"Hey what's up YouTube..."
"How's it going my name is..."
"What going on guys..."
"I'm sorry I haven't posted a video in a while..."
OR
* 1-minute animation intro*

Last week a user couldn't find a document in sharepoint. Typed (what he thought) was the exact file name in the search -> no results.

I know how to get 'under the hood', so I looked where I thought the file was, found it, and it was exactly as he searched for it. What the hell? Wasn't a new file, it wasn't moved/renamed, no reason why it couldn't be found.
I 'touched' the file. Waited 5 minutes and searched again, found it. What the frack Microsoft!

I don't usually look at the "updates" section of my Gmail but yesterday I did. One message cought my eye: "Your application to Microsoft BizSpark has been approved" but I've never applied to Microsoft BizSpark!
Someone has registered in my name, opened a Microsoft Outlook account under my full name and added my startup details for applying to BizSpark! One issue though, he used some Spanish equivalent of mailinator to subscribe so I could easily reset the password and replace the security email. Now I have 5 visual studio subscriptions I don't know what to do with.

Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff

I regret commenting on a WordPress blog using my full name. Although there was nothing stupid on what I wrote, I just hate it that I googled my name and it showed. I just want to delete my useless information / myself on the internet.

Never will this happen again.

Excel is starting to piss me off. Can't do Ctrl+A in a search field, can't do ctrl+A in the standard input field, and now it turns out it can't open files with the same name (on different paths) at the same time. What the actual fuck?

Websites: Let me slide in a little piece of data in your browser for your convenience so that you don't have to enter your password every time you come back. We even have a great name for it - Cookie!

EU - WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO OUR COMPUTERS, HOW DARE YOU MAKE OUR LIVES BETTER WITHOUT LETTING US KNOW FIRST.

(also pay us €10000000 k bye)

WTF Woke up this morning and found my email used to register to a website called fiverr.com!!

What is even worse is that at the end of the email where they have that section of: this email was sent to ..., the name is random letters

Even more ironic that website does not allow access from Lebanon ....

I think it is time to change my email, been getting a lot of spam into my inbox lately, though Gmail has a good spam filter :\

What a weird country name 😂🤔

I friend of mine was looking for an internship. I asked him what he wanted to do, he said frontend. I said do you know JavaScript. He said that's a long name I like to just call it Java.

Conspiracy theory: An Arch user got laid with a vegan and had a child.. the name of which became Nix.
I get it, you use NixOS, great. But what impresses me the most is that its users somehow find a way to sneak it into literally *any* conversation...

Just investigating a bug reported by QA. Spoke to the dev responsible for the code, and asked why they'd called a particular function. Their reply:

"Well the function name sounded right. I didn't check what it actually did"

(Call from a distant family member I know by name only)
Him: Hey, blah it's been awhile blah hey so I have this problem with my printer and...
Him: What do you mean you don't know about printers, can I bring it to your hou...<*click*>

What a sad and frustrating day!
I got a call from recruiter. I told him that I'm not actively looking for change. But he requested for 2 mins to listen. He started telling about his company, how great it is, tech stack, perks, salary etc. He is telling everything but not company name, I waited patiently and asked what's the pay I can expect. The number blew my mind, it's nearly double to my current pay. Then...

Me: that sounds amazing, which company is this, and where is it?
Him: it is <my company name> and located at <my current location, same campus>
Me: .....
Him: so, what do you think?
Me: .... I need some time. Let me update my LinkedIn profile first and then, i will get back to you.
Him: sounds wonderful, will call back by Monday. <Call disconnected>
Me: <inside my head> @$_-$#(/+&_#

This in my 10th year in this company, some one kill me please.

Why is it that CS students with no industry experience lament about HTML all the time?

I don't get the weird obsession with talking about how it's "not a programming language"
No one who knows what they're talking about is claiming it is.

Hyper Text *Markup* Language.

Markup is in the name.

Operations: Can you exclude some user records for the website? These are obsolete and we don’t want users to access these anymore.

Me: So what are you using to indicate the record is obsolete?

Ops: We changed the last name field to say “shell record - do not use.” Sometimes it’s in the first name. Actually, it gets truncated to “shell record - do not u”.

Me: A…text field…and you’re totally ok with breaking user accounts…ok ok cool cool

Not cool 😳😬🤬 I’m not causing more chaos because your record keeping has gotten messy

Not work but

Years ago when i was in middle school i wanted to mess with the school computers a bit so i made a desktop shortcut for shutdown and changed the name and icon to google chrome.
The person in charge of the it department freaked out and thought some kind of a massive virus infected everything.

Long story short turns out they had an event logger installed, figured out it was me and what i did...
I nearly got expelled 😑

Holy fcuk! Can anyone here help me understand how this domain is possible?

WARNING: obviously its a spam site. Take necessary security precautions if you are going to visit.

the following domain opens a cluster fuck domain name! >> secret.ɢoogle.com

That ɢ is not what it looks like. How is such domains possible to exist? Even more surprising, how is this sub domain -ception possible?

The best thing about perl is it doesn't care about errors and really tries to do what you ask, without throwing exceptions.
The worst? It does exactly what you ask, no matter how insane.
Typed $arri[ $0 ] instead of $arr[0] inside a function that detected what changes were needed in dns zones. $0 is script name and path, strings are converted to integers as needed and there's a little thing called vivification.
You see where this train wreck is going.
Also my dog died today.
Got to love Mondays :/

Intellij IDEA, what in the name of fuck have you been "indexing" for more than 24 hours that keeps my CPU at a constant 200%???!

There aren't even enough files on my entire machine to justify this ridiculousness...

Can we talk about Google Allo for a second?

What the everloving f*ck, Google? I don't get it. You built a perfectly solid, pretty chat app with lots of neat features and interesting ideas. And then you ruin it by completely neutering SMS support.

Here's (roughly) what your recipient gets when you message someone who isn't on Allo:

(Allo)(Name): <message> Send STOP to stop Allo messages. Download Allo here: <shortlink>

iMessage figured out SMS integration three f*cking years ago, how could you guys have messed this up so bad?

</rant>

I freelanced for a startup one time, and found out they had ten of thousands of records stored in their DB about dental patients, inducing name, address, social security #, some medical history, etc. All in plain text. Worst part is they hired me after a 20 min phone call, and didn't even sign a NDA!

Makes me paranoid to use the Internet knowing what some of these companies do.

Unless you're editing actual fucking JSON and not a JS object, do this:
{
name: 'John Doe',
phone_number: '12345',
}

Not this:
{
name: 'John Doe',
phone_number: '12345'
}

Note the presence or lack of a comma after the last field. In this way, when you add a new field, you only have one line change in version control, because otherwise you'd have to add that no-longer-last comma and thus make two line changes. Not to mention you can forget to add it and spend some time figuring out what is wrong.

I remember the time when netbooks were a thing. An affordable device for easy tasks like web browsing. It’s in the name!
Excuse me, what? The web? It’s heavier than some games now! All thanks to React.js and stupid frontend framework boom of 2016.
Frontend people, wake up. Modern JS has everything you need. It’s time to switch to Web Components.

FUCKING SHITTY PHP WITH NO FUCKING COMMENTS AND A JOKE OF A DOCUMENTATION WELL I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY THAT BUGS HAPPENING NONE OF THIS CODE MAKES SENSE AND IT APPEARS TO BE HELD TOGETHER BY DUCT TAPE AND PRAYERS AND IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND IF I SEE ONE MORE FUCKING 200 LINE FUNCTION WITH A NAME LIKE 'transformData' WHAT THE HOLY FUCK DOES IT DO I SWEAR TO GOD THIS CODEBASE NEEDS TO BE FIREBOMBED

18 commits later, the unofficial documentation has been ported over to GitBook.

The documentation now lives in a private repo on GitHub which is hooked up to a CI tool to build the book when a commit is pushed.

This will make maintaining the documentation much easier and also allow for collaboration which was previously not possible.

Because this documentation contains some endpoints some of you might not even know about, access is provided on a invite-only basis which is controlled by @dfox.

For new requests, contact @dfox with your name and what you are planning to build.

If you have already created something with the API email me at support@nblackburn.uk with your name and a link and I will send you a invite.

At the age of 50 I have learned what FICA is.

FInancial Customer Account

It'a a SAP module but I suppose It was the name of a Penthouse department.

P.S.

FICA in Italian are female genitals, "recupero" is retrieve.
It sounds like "pussy retrieve".
This document was made by a staff of 4 men and 4 women.

Name The Song.
One a side note, what do you listen to while coding? Do you need absolute silence to code?

Coworker: Oh, I couldn't find my Excel file, can you help me to find it?
Me: What is your file name?
Coworker: The file created long time ago, I forgot my file name. But I open it yesterday.
Me: Ok, let's check open recent. (It's surprisingly empty)
Coworker: Yeah, I cleared it just before you arrived. I thought clearing the recent item, will show older items.
Me: ...Ok, let's do a search on all Excel items, which drive did you save your file?
Coworker: I don't remember.
Me: (After search) There are 1000 Excel files. You can start from eliminating the items you remember and ultimately you will find your file. That's all I can help.
Coworker: @x$(/"! ?!

There always a forgetful coworker around me that thinks I am a magician.

So I'm developing a push-pullet application for elementary OS and it's called Eleanor, off hand mention the name to my partner and she says she understood what it was... Think I dodged a bullet with that one!

There is just one thing that's been haunting me.

One.

Thing.

That I have yet to succeed at doing.

One thing.

That I have yet to understand it's mazehole.

ONE THING.

That I failed me as a developer.

How in the FUCK do I create my own mail server with my own domain name? HOW? JUST FUCKING HOWWWWW

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SECRET!

WHAT AM I MISSING!!!!!

(no don't tell me about any of those office 365/GoDaddy/Windows bullshit, just guide me with something normal)

The name of the inventor of the Li-Ion battery is John Goodenough and I think it’s beautiful. His name truly resembles the exact concept of what a lithium rechargeable battery really is.

If you are a web developer, consider using proper page titles.

Page titles are one of the most basic elements of a web page and yet websites often fail to make proper use of them.

Without a proper page title, your user does not have an accurate idea of what page is in the tab without having to open the tab, which gets tedious if many tabs are open. With a proper page title, an instant glance on the tab does suffice.

Some sites only put in their site name or something like "Search - Site Name" without including the search query in the page title, or "User profile - Site Name".

An example of this is, disappointingly, archive.org. As thankful as I am for the Archive, they could make better use of page titles to make browsing their library more convenient. While they use proper page titles on item pages (including both title and author!), they use non-descriptive titles on their 2023 search feature (downgraded from lightweight static HTML+AJAX to a JavaScript app) and user profile pages.

The user name of a profile or a search query and ideally a page number should be in the page title so a browser tab with a search can be found faster and can also be seen on social media sites that auto-generate preview cards with page titles.

Descriptive page titles also improve your search engine ranking! You surely don't want to miss out on that, do you?

*tentatively watching movie*
Some family standing in front of a house.
Kid asks: dad, what is this?
Dad: homepage
Me: ??

It took me way to long to realize that the kids name is Paige and the place is their new house. I hate it when that happens.

I just learned that you can use Android Device Monitor in Android Studio to take screenshots.
Until today I was using adb screencap -p /sdcard/filename, totally forgetting the filename, go through all the commands and see what fucking file name I used and do an adb pull. It was a lot of fucking work.

Fuck you Edge!
I can name a var "screen", what is wrong with you? I don't care you have an Object named Screen, they are not the same and I rather use my own, thank you. It's not like I'm "let var=" on you, you piece of shit!

I don't know why is that everytime you guys find a security bug or a data leak or that someone is saving plain passwords on their database, you try to cover and censor the company name. Listen people, fuck the company and their name and their brand if someone's data might be in danger. Everybody should be aware of what is happening with their personal information.

Also, maybe would be great if devRant would let users to post anonymous rants for this kind of issues or a special thread with latest news about our online security.

til: Jiraporn is a legit Thai name and not only what overly horny project managers do.

What a crappy unreliable way to handle issues during software update. App name is Mi Fit.

This is what you get when you buy 30$ smart bands. Keep trying until your update is successful.

Companies really need to re-evaluate what they ask as security questions.

If I know your name and your approximate date of birth (to the month) then, here in the UK at least, I have a very good chance of being able to find out your parents names, your mother's maiden name, your address, your parents address (i.e. probably where you grew up and what school you went to), your parents ages, when they got married, etc. - and all from publicly available info, not illegal crap you find on Tor or social media stalking.

This isn't hard to find if you know where to look - the problem is that people think that it's all private, and behave as such - and companies encourage it. The typical "internet safety courses" don't even touch on it, and even more tech savvy people I know often don't have a clue this is possible.

GAME
The nickname of a person above your comment will be the name of your next project, tell us what it's about (be creative)

if you are given a chance to create your own programming language what will be its name.

Javascript or Javascript script?

What is the right name for a pice of javascript?

what it's like when someone doesnt use "mm/dd/yyyy" or "dd/mm/yyyy":

"I need a name for your reservation. It can either be base64 encoded or a sha3 hash"

"Yeah, I'm on my way, how many light years is it past 404th street?"

"Oh, cool, my birthday's coming up, too. How many eons away is it?"

The qt is giving me such headaches. Can't build a project with spaces in project folders name. Are we back to 2005 or what

What a great way to name stuff apple 👏👏 😂

Security in defense is a joke.

New hire does not have accts set up told him over and over!

He decides to go into a classified area and just try. Common last name with first initial.

Guess what he was able to get in because no one changed the default password!

Yep now someone with an interim clearance got access to a machine that goes from unclass to secret and then top secret!

Manifesto for class naming

Through my work as a professional developer, I have come to value:

ComponentMapper over ComponentMappingService

TransactionalSequencer over TransactionalSequencingService

PayrollCsvGenerator over PayrollCsvService

InternalTestRunCreator over InternalService

Please people, just call them what they are. Forget the noise words and fluff. To quote Morpheus:
“Stop trying to name me and NAME me”

Years ago I was on the board for the European Student Card pilot.
What a beauty.

It went well and fully operating around three years later. Then escalated and got a new project name, myAcademicID.
Requirements became more political so I left.

I am still registered on the dev & sandbox. AMA

Just started teaching my brother some programming. He is the type of guy that is always outside and almost never uses a computer.

So after teaching him a lot on dictionaries, ifs, etc. I ask him to make a dictionary app.

This is how he proceeds to name his variables:

var theOne = new Dictionary
var f***face = Console.ReadLine()

if (theOne.Contains(f***face)) {

var faffaf = Dictionary[f***face]
Console.Write(faffaf)

}

(Note this is simplified C#)

This is after I told him a few times that you should name your variables so others can understand what they are.

You know what's a good place for init Files? A standardized place...
A place, where one would expect it...
You know where isn't a good place
/usr/lib/systemd/{user,system}/

You know what is also a fuckin bright idea? Generic names....
Postgresql-10 is a rather anoying service name, if your plattform doesn't feature autocomplete for your plattform. Looking at no one. *Cough* centos *cough*

Well at least manpages for the service would have been nice...

Just got reminded in the comments of another rant, that theres a .se domain, so my first thought was to register per.se (torilla tavataan) - sadly it wasn't available, since some football club/team is owning it, what a nice domain name 😂

When Google Engineers Made a Speech Synthesis Program, they hadn't figured out a name until:

"What should we name our advanced speech synthesis program"
"Hey bob what are going to order for lunch today"
"Tacos."
"What was that weird movie with the laser bikes that make light walls"
"Tron."
"Bob you're a genius"

Fucking java library publishing. It's a nightmare. You have to fucking own a domain to publish a shit onto jcenter/bintray/whatever. You have to own the domain, that your lib's package name is. And you MUST verify it, otherwise you won't publish anything. Or you can shit allover your lib with package name like com.github.dumbcoder.mycoollib.

You must to create a ticket for some shitheads that are going to verify your shit for two weeks. They gonna ask you for source.jar, docs.jar and whatever shit.jar they need.

What THE fuck? Who was the asshole that decided name packages in reverse domain name? No FUCKING more ecosystem has such a bullshit. In .net you just make a lib, create a free nuget account, fill some basic info and boom! you have .net package published. Same for npm and rust for example.

Because the fucking package name should be just for structure not for a some dick to own it. Namespace is name-fucking-space.
FUCK JAVA.

Got back at work after 2 weeks off

Useless to say I did not remember what to do or where to start…

Today I was working on a feature and while thinking about code organization I found an empty function ready to be filled with the exact name I was about to type.

My 2 weeks ago self prepared it for me… it was so kind of him

One good thing about working at a shitty place is you end up knowing what not to do by just pure pain.

I once consulted for a company who had the latest tech - kubernetes, bit bucket, you name it. But it didn't matter. The code was shit. It's not about the tech, it's always about the people that use the tech.

T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM

This is how PHP refers to :: internally, it's the only fucking token with such a weird name, what is this fucking language?

Who is writing this shit? OOP but it's completely optional? Where is the goddamn sheriff? I'm done, off to Ruby, Python, Go or anything that's not fucking PHP. Sick of this shit. Fuck this language.

How can such a massive language be so poorly designed!?

"I've recently lost someone who really meant lots for me, we worked together for years, he new all about me, he even saved my dreams, projects and hobbies, such a great memory ..."

"What was his name?"

"D:\"

Heya!
I recently opened a tech-insta account by name @codegirlr
Thinking of launching website for the same too.
Do give me feedback about what theme should I post mainly.
Thanks :)

NullPointerException: Object reference not set to an instance of an object.....ummm what was null?

How much longer must we wait for a language that tells you the variable name that was null?

If your job title was a function name what would it be?

processesUnclearBrief($brief): AwesomeApp

The 'farewell great manager Jim' party on Monday.

The [insert name of a department] Christmas party on Wednesday, which you shouldn't miss because they want the company to be more integrated.

The [insert name of your department] Christmas party on Friday, which is separate from the other party because they want the company to be more inte... wait.

The hackathon on Saturday and Sunday, because coding all night for free to create buzz around the company's name is always fun.

The team meeting where the product manager presents all the shinny new things they're thinking about presenting to the client while our deadline is still a couple of weeks away. "And the engineering team knows exactly what to do, right?" Yeah, sure, if you say so.

That is a barier which i saw seveal time falling to the ground...

And now there is this little ASSIST under it....

I am sure you are wondering what is that COMPANY that MADE the barrier and you cannot read it because it in bulgarian. Yes you guest it its "ASSIST". That means the COMPANY have THE BEST NAME.

Hope you get it.

Can you help me to come up with a company name?

I want to provide dev services (mainly mobile apps) but I also want to have couple projects of my own, so I can't go with a name which indicates only mobile apps. This is the keyword list that I have at the moment:

dev
optimal
baltic
digital
digital
app
cyber
data

vision
systems
projects
solutions
apps
systems
tech
development
software
strategy
byte
builder
services
industries
house
Factory
incubator
media
dev
projects
net
tools
system
center
tech
pro
loft
devs

and these are my current ideas:

appswat.com
appdevhouse.com
balticdevs.com
devbaltic.com
balticincubator.com
appdecision.com
balticstrategy.com
appmobservice.com
appmobservices.com
appmobileservice.com
appbaltic.com
devbaltic.com
mobilebaltic.com
databaltic.com
balticcyber.com
solutionmob.com
mobiledevmedia.com
balticmobilevision.com
balticmobilesoftware.com
mobilemediasystem.com
probaltictech.com

But none of them seem good enough :/

What do you think about appbaltic.com or devbaltic.com ? Does this name makes sense for you native speakers?

Baltic because it will be an eastern european company located next to Baltic sea. We will provide dev services and have couple projects of our own.

Got up to present my capstone project. Here's what it is about, heres how it works, here's a work around for an issue I couldn't figure out, etc... Everything went smooth until I was asked what the name of my project was. Fifteen weeks of development and I never came up with a name.

I read the source code of a guy who decided to name his variables, functions, and comments in Spanish which is not a language I'm familiar with. So I need to first translate the code into English and then understand what it does.

The customer wanted me to create a password for their database. I made it the name of the software and appended b4lls.

Whenever I tell him what the password is I spell out the software with the b at the end, say "the number four", then lls. He has never repeated "oh, softwareballs", I am not sure he has noticed.

Nicehash could fuck up big time and I'd still believe them. What a name they've got

I received a call from a company that I applied for to come for a design test. The guy said he would email the details and noted down me email address. I said OK. I didn't ask the guy's name. It's 2 weeks now and didn't receive any email. What do I do? The phone number connects to company's reception

I'm having a hard time remembering everything that I have learnt, so I decided to build an app where I can store whatever I learnt and search for them later easily. That's before I realized the app that I halfway built has a name; it's called "Personal Knowledge Manager", and there are already tons of apps like that, one of them is "exactly" how I imagined my app would be if I finish building it.
What a mess.

What should be the correct name for a person who posts on devrant?

MS outlook is a piece of shit!! i can never find contacts in the address book, it to the first 10 contacts! you have to know their exact name sometimes. what a fucking piece of shit. this is just one of many complaints i have on it.

AHHHHHHHH

Me : *insert random name here* .js is a sign you are lazy devs.
My Friend : Meh, this is just side project. Only to try it out.
Me : You still can do that fast in plain js tho.

Also Me Sometimes later:

MF : whacha tryna' do?
Me : gonna deploy this app real quick.
MF : what js framework do you use ?
Me : Yes.

God something's wrong with me. Fucking hell.

I get that every small victory counts when you’re learning to code, but someone in my class just posted a link asking for feedback on the “coding challenge” they had completed. The link led to a website made from an HTML/CSS/JS template where only the ‘company name’ and hero image had been changed from the original template, nothing else. What exactly are you looking for “feedback” on here??? What was the “coding challenge”?

People who speak in puzzles during code reviews - fuck you! Just say what you want to say without being philosophical about it. Want me to change the name of a function? Let me know, instead of ranting on about some other shit. I should not have to ask you twice for every god damn comment what you mean, you prick. It’s just annoying and a waste of time.

I had a complaint about a product I bought from a store a while back. I was resistant to taking into the store because the people there make you feel like you are stealing when trying to return a defective DVD. So I contacted the store via their website. I put in my first and last name and my email in the message to them. This is an excerpt of what I got back:

---

Response By Email (Triston) (12/12/2019 03:56 AM)
Hi Phuckin,

Your satisfaction is our top priority and your comments have been forwarded to your local Store. The management team there will take appropriate action and you can expect a response from them within three business days.
<store specific info>

Customer By (Phuckin Chit) (12/11/2019 03:40 PM)
<details of my complaint, etc>

---

Apparently I had created an account with this store a while back when I was angry. Hence my name being reported as Phuckin Chit. Even though I entered my name in the form it used the stored name associated with my email. At this point I am not sure they are going to help me.

Create something "revolutionary", become recognized worldwide and respected for what I've done. Maybe becoming BDFL of my own language or give my name to an algorithm, something like that. Not necessarily rich or famous, I just want to leave a mark on the face of the earth. Do you know Federico Faggin? Well someone like him.

Me : Hey VS, please search for all the method with that name

VS : *search all ' ; ' in the whole project*

Me : what the -- oh I missed the paste of the method's name lol

This is a funny situation when you don't have 140+ projects in your solution

So today I was messing with a side project and for context it’s a networking program.

So I’ve designed the programs packets and what each do. The final step is just constructing them and sending them, but wait some random error that I traced from the file path being wrong to the packet containing a files name but then I realized that the packet after the file name wasn’t sending and so I looked at the contents of the first packet and IT WAS SENDING BOTH CONTENTS IN ONE and I fucking can’t tell you how hung up on this I got because there was nothing wrong with any other packet in anyway, and if I commented the file name packet out the next one worked and vice versa and it was so fucking infuriating and out of desperation I thought “what if I just gave it time between sending both” AND IT FUCKING WORKED. ONE LITTLE FUCKING sleep(.5) FIXES THE PROBLEM THAT PLAGUED ME QUITE LITERALLY ALL DAY I CANT. IM PRETTY SURE ITS STILL NOT A GOOD SOLUTION BUT IM ROLLING WITH IT!

What's up guys! Welcome to your first android tutorial for The New Boston, my name is Travis (aka Bucky). If you're watching this video and you don't know what a "Boolean" is... You're an idiot!

Inspiring? This dude!

to add a bit of fancyness i print the scripts name and 'by' my 'artists name' whenever scripts are executed. today i got a call 'it says error on line 1, what did i do wrong?' i am still laughing tears. did not consider this programmers joke to have an impact irl.

What is a cool naming scheme for the servers
for example we have 6 environments for the QC to run their tests, what would be a cool way to name them

I thought of bugs names,since we are a bug reporting company

what do you think guys

I was cleaning up the files on my computer and I found this path.
~/projects/hidey_hole/daus_ex_machina/
I love thies strangely named projects.

What is the weirdest name you have given to a project?

Seriously getty images, what is wrong with you. Usually it is bad enough that sign in forms say username or email and then only accept one of those two options. Getty images only allows for the username, so i enter that. Doesn't work. I use the forgot password function, have to enter username and email, doesn't work. Turns out the username is the email adress and what I entered was only the display name. Seriously, how stupid is that? What is the point of a username when you have a separate display name and just set it to the account email adress?

Ugh....why did I think it was a bright idea to name variables in a certain way. Looking at it now made me spend 3 hours trying to understand what it means, and now i have a headache from it.

can we agree that T is a dumb variable name?

I mean I totally know what it means in that instance, but why do people keep writing math stuff like they'd skribble it on paper?

Seeing some Ruby just reminded me of something.

Fuck Objective-C. What kind of lazy fuck makes C object oriented by stapling SmallTalk to it? A better name would be "C: Now with Dissociative Identity Disorder...oh and objects".

Apple apologists make excuses for this miserable language all the time...why? Because it's the only thing Apple would give you?

Swift is definitely an improvement though.

changed my name!

from awruh to aysentur now... can be spelled out better. I hope so at least, lmao.

my old name was created due to lack of creativity but the need of a username, so I smashed my keyboard... and that was what came up. aysentur has some more thought in it though not something meaningful.

new name old me

This was an email sent to me using my name as a greeting. This had to be a mass email that no one proofread.

I love how the list everything general JS skillset using odd verbage and then throw C# at the end.

What should I respond with?

I am feeling snarky today.

I hate it when people name fancy new techniques but don't actually know what it is. Today I had the following conversation with some of my ClassMates:

Me: Whe should bundle the js and css files of our app
CM1: I used Gulp before, maybe we could use that
CM2: I used Grunt in the past, but thats kinda old-school webpack is what everybody uses now
CM3: I heard Docker is also a great tool for doing webstuff, let's use Docker

Hey, I want to name a library of mine something like "San'stools" So it's like "the tools from San" but it can also be "San's stools".
I looked up if stools meant what I thought it meant, little seat stuff, but apparently it's also dump...

Would it be too disgusting? Should I use another name?
How often is the word stool used to refer to... you know...?

None of my colleagues are programmers, I explain the problem to them. Then suddenly I see the errors in my ways. Or I start composing an email explaining the problem to another programmer, I usually figure it out before I hit send. The method has been given a name, I've forgotten what. Anyone knows?

Ahhhhhhhh Welp
I don't use uppercase letters but special symbols. But sure, fuck @#€&-(/?;:'"* and all the other ones. What a brain dead, face fucked moron came up with this.

I am waiting for the day a dipshit like that starts working in a hospital, forcing to name my child "BrIaN666".

Today I noticed how incredibly insecure IBANs are.

You give it to anyone who wants to transfer money to your bank account, and all you need to perform a transaction is an IBAN, the account holders name and his signature.

So anyone who has your IBAN, your name and your signature (which all can occur in a single mail) can just send himself money from your account, cash out and move away. Noone can prove that it wasn't you who did the transaction and you couldnt find the guy.

And this is what all the banks in Europe use? What am I missing here?... how can a system this important be this insecure?

Do you all comprehend how dangerous devRant - especially its users are? What if we all quit our jobs and handed them a business card “devRant - ‘your name here’” and just stuck to contracting. Stick it to the man and have fun while doing it. 😂

Our team uses story format titles for JIRAS like As a ..., I want...

But in our git repo, a lot of people create branches using the same name:

{JIRA-ID}-as-a-...

And I'm always like why the fuck can't you take 5s to name your branches more descriptively? I usually name mines using some keywords from the Jira Title

But wondering now what do you all think/do?

What does my current job hate descriptive names? Like to the point of active antagonism? We're a subscription based service. Why is SubscriptionExpiration the date you log in? Why does SubscriptionStatus only contain the name and id of product you're subscribed to and nothing to do with an actual status? All I need is the date a user subscribed. Why is this so hard!?!?

My best friend has been working to learn python and I guess he hasn't see control flow statements.

The problem is we have a girl name "elif" in Turkish and it's his ex's name (+4 yrs, bad ending)

What should I do :D

I picked a module of my nodejs app which uses MongoDB to pieces until I had no more idea what could be wrong. It should work. There could be nothing wrong. Then I thought: "What if I try to find() from the wrong collection?" Yes. Fucking YES! I've lost about 2 hours of my life because I've written the collection name in singular rather then plural. Just a fucking single character. Just a fucking "s"! Why don't you output an error? Why? Fuck you! Why don't you do that?

Guys I need your help.
Recently there has been questions on whether there's a developer oriented dating service which made me think of buiding one.
On research I noticed that people have tried but you always end up with more people from the outside.
So I decided to make my service as developer friendly and user unfriendly as possible.
it's more command based rather than normal click and touch inteefaces.
More like the shortcuts on your ide or the terminal commands.
As part of my research involved talking to other developers and came the desire for more opinions.
here's what I have:
- Github sign in/up only
- Link github stats to account
- Messages (obviously )
- links to your social accounts
- use of devrant avatar
What am looking for is:
+ what do you guys need from a dating service.
+ name you musts, avoid the ones named by others
+ name what you expect to know about the person on the other side before talking to them and before meeting with them.

It's too early to be asking these questions today:

Are your DB schema changes checked into source control?

What branch are they checked into?

Why are the schema changes checked into one branch, but deployed to a completely different database?

Is my CI pipeline deploying incorrectly? Oh, you manually deployed changes.

Are your DB changes in source control an accurate reflection of what you actually put in the staging database?

Why not?

Can I just cherry-pick update my schema with your changes from the staging database?

Why is there a typo in your field name?

Oh. Why is there a typo in the customer data set? Don't they know how to spell that word?

Why is the fucking staging database schema missing three critical tables?

Is the coffee ready? I need coffee.

Why is the coffee not ready yet?

What's going on in DevRant this morning?

What project am I working on now anyway?

Did my schema update finish yet?

Yup, it finished. Crap. Where the hell do I keep those backup files?

What's the command line to restore the file again?

Why doesn't our CLI tool support automated database restores?

I can fix that. What branch name should I check the CLI tool into?

What project was I working on this morning again?