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4am
"I need to brush my teeth before going to sleep 😵"
*goes to bathroom*
*washes hands*
*goes to bed*
1minute of heavy processing later
"FUCK"7 -
Why are the fastest laptops always considered "gaming" laptops and look like fucking alien spaceships? 😩
They're ugly as fuck
45 -
After 1,5 months of customer support as a Linux support engineer, I can honestly say:
Fuck wordpress.26 -
So this guy passed large objects as function arguments directly instead of referencing. What a jackass. So the program was slow as fuck AND taking up too much memory.
So yeah, I'm basically ranting about myself.2 -
FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!
Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !
26 -
FUCK YOUR OPEN SPACE OFFICE!!!!
AND FUCK YOUR HOT DESKING!!!
As a developer, is it too much to ask for a quiet section? 😭13 -
"FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off."
https://foaas.com/
I think the world needed this13 -
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
Boring. Overused.
"Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow"
- New
- Metal as fuck
- Works just as well19 -
Writes code.
Doesn't work as intended.
Debug.
Works as intended.
Tests other scenarios.
Don't work as intended.
Debug.
Works as intended in scenarios.
Scenario 1 fails.
Stares at code.
Staring doesn't work as intended.
Fuck...7 -
Was coding so nicely, then I accidentally kicked the power strip and turned off my machine... Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!8
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This is why one shouldn't code in more than one language a day. Basically spent almost 15 minutes to find out why it wasn't working.
10 -
Anyone seen this? https://www.foaas.com/ FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off. An API for telling people to fuck off.3
-
During the entire afternoon we had a ridiculously low amount of tickets.
Suddenly 'is this the real life, or is this just fantasy' popped up in my head.
😆14 -
Not sure yet. I finished my study for Software Engineering and I'm currently working as a Linux engineer.
But, my current boss didn't give a fuck about whether or not I had a diploma or whatsoever at all, as long as I had/have the required skills.13 -
I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!18 -
Fuck Off As A Service(FOAAS) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
http://foaas.com/
Finally , a usefuckingful service.2 -
Fuck windows 10. I log on to start an interview code assignment that is timed. I'm on my computer getting things ready for a solid 10 minutes before starting the test. AS SOON as I start the test, windows 10 informs me:
Fuck you. There's updates and I'm installing them right now whether you like them or not, fucker. I bet you're doing something important too, so I'm not even going to let you schedule it at another time.
Fuck.15 -
THERE IS NOTHING AS FRUSTRATING AS WAITING FOR A RESET PASSWORD MAIL... ONLY TO GET A STREAM OF 16 PLAINTEXT PASSWORDS 30 MINUTES LATER, WITH NONE OF THEM WORKING.
Fuck you, IKEA. 🖕12 -
Hey fellow devs,
I'm proud to say, that today I've passed my final step/exam of my apprenticeship.
So now I'm officially an IT-Specialist - Software Development or "Fachinformatiker für Anwendungsentwicklung" in german.
I'm so fuckin' relieved and happy that this chapter is now finally closed and the real fun can begin!
My new job - indeed the old one with 4x payment and just a 32 hour week instead of a 40 hour one.
Now I will cheer and drink as much whiskey I can find out there! :D
PS.: This baby (pic related) was my presentation device today. One member of the commission had to laugh, a ranter as it seems! ;)
16 -
Services/apps and their automatic general sayings. I fucking hate that.
'apping' is an abbreviation for either whatsapping someone or messaging them in general (in the Netherlands at least).
Sorry but I fucking hate WhatsApp and I'm not going to say that fucking app/apping word. But then in general it's confusing imo.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO TEXT ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO SIGNAL ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.
"but I meant that" - THEN FUCKING SAY IT.
I DON'T 'GOOGLE SOMETHING'. I FUCKING DUCKDUCKGO IT. NO, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME.
FUCKING HELL.18 -
By far the best co-worker. She's doesn't bitch and complain or make excuses.
And let's be honest, she's cute as fuck.
3 -
Fucking Jira!
You fucking piece of fucking shit. You're about as useful as a nacho cheese enema.
Fuck Atlassian, fuck Jira, fuck fuck fuck fuck!13 -
> Saw “pied pipper” tag on twitter trends
> “Oh shit, is there a new season of silicon valley?”
> * opens it
> korean live concert or shit13 -
What sucks more than running Linux as a desktop OS?....This hotdog-free IKEA restaurant.
Fuck this place.
39 -
My prepaid travelcard company sends me an email whenever I buy coffee for 50 cents. Decides to ignore when I make a €2500 withdrawal.6
-
my laptop started lagging AS FUCK so i BARELY even managed to open task manager to see whats happening and of course. what else could i expect
FUCK
19 -
Client: How's our B2B data lookup platform coming along?
Me: All done, your clients can now search by first/last name as well.
Client: I just search "fuck" as first name and 5 results came up, our data is not cleaned up properly.
Me: Fuck
Client: Fuck2 -
You would think for a company as big as Google they would be able to write good fucking documentation but nope!
Fuck me it's more spaghetti than my code!4 -
My IT team installed Antivirus on my 5 year old Mac Mini due to company security policy after the recent Ransomware attacks.
Now my Mac is slow as fuck. They are not even providing me new Mac, due to budget constraints. Totally fucked.
Fuck Ransomware. Fuck security policies. Fuck my company. Fuck everyone. Fuck everything. 😤11 -
Why the fuck do people care about age so much?
Unlike other activities, you can be 15 years old and be as good as a senior dev, so why the fuck do you need to degrade me because you found out my age?
I still deliver the promised work, so what the fuck?
As for kids who try to get recognition because they're young and program, well, fuck you too!
Programming isn't about age or maturity, since in this age of tech, anyone can pick up a computer and an internet connection and learn, so why do you feel that younger individuals have less capabilities?
I just had to get that out of me since it pisses me off a fuck load.16 -
OK, I've had enough of this bullshit!
Why the hell do some people pronounce 'Z' as 'C' !?!
FUCK THESE PEOPLE!
Now, you might ask yourself: "But how is this tech related?".
WELL... I was trying to get into a server and had someone spell the password for me; AND GUESS WHO MISSPELLED THE PASSWORD THREE FUCKING TIMES SO HE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE FUCKING SERVER BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT!!!
FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK!!!!!18 -
PSD2 is into effect in the Netherlands.
Because let's enable others to fuck over other peoples privacy!
Back to cash as much as possible it is.
Fucking hell 😡12 -
Fuck all these CSS frameworks using Jquery as their dependency. Cross-browser my ass.
I am going full flexbox.2 -
Do Travis CI's email subjects really need to say "Still failing". As if I don't feel bad enough.
Fuck you Travis i'm trying!!!1 -
This goddamned sewer-tier, rancid-as-fuck code may as well have been shat, eaten, and re-shat by a slug-fucking muck demon.
So fucking vile.1 -
FUCK OFF, YOU FUCKING USELESS PILES OF CRAP
WHY THE FUCK CAN'T COMPANIES JUST TEST THEIR FUCKING APPS FOR ONCE?!?
LINKEDIN GOES INTO A FUCKING CAPTCHA LOOP
SNAPCHAT/INSTAGRAM ARE AS SLOW AND ATTRACTIVE AS A SLIGHTLY RUNNY SHIT
ROCKSTAR IS FULL OF MONGS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A WORKING FUCKING GAME
GOOGLE IS FULL OF PERVERTED FUCKERS WHO TRACK YOU EVERYTIME YOU LOOK UP A FUCKING RECIPE.
FUCK THIS WORLD, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T BIG COMPANIES JUST MAKE SOFTWARE WITH THE USERS IN FUCKING MIND?!?!?
FUCK ME, I'M ANGRY10 -
Fuck big tech companies. Fuck their surveillance capitalism. Fuck their monopolies and anti-competitive bullshit. Fuck their tax dodging. Fuck their fighting against the right to repair. Fuck their worship of revenue above all else. Fuck their 30% cut on everything. Fuck their world-destroying revenue models built on heartless AI and zero customer service. Fuck their automated banning systems with zero explanation as to why the fuck they've banned you, with zero fucking recourse. Fuck their amoral psychopathic CEOs and their fucking space rockets. Fuck all this shit. When I'm done with this IT project I'm fucking done with tech.
Okay I'm done now.14 -
Alright, I'm getting tired of reading job applications that have roles described as:
"Seeking unicorn"
"Seeking heroes"
"Seeking alien"
What the fuck.16 -
@dfox you said there'd be sweatshirts...it's cold as fuck here...I need a sweatshirt
*Insert some witty joke about devs never making deadlines*4 -
Programming made me fucking fat as fuck.
I went to Holmes Place after a 2 month no gym period to get counseling.
I have a whoppin 25% body fat and it makes me fucking depressed.
Fuck sitting in front of computers and programming for hours. Fuck snacks and fuck stayibg up late. That shit is bad for you.16 -
I finally managed to open a beer bottle using a sheet of paper
My finger is red as fuck but it was worth it16 -
This rant goes to my best friend.
Fuck you!
You do not fucking argue with people for doing what they like! So what if I want to use linux? What fucking problem does that make? Am I now a hacker fanboy for wanting to use a terminal instead of fucking pointing and clicking on shit like a monkey? Am I not allowed to want my privacy and free open-source? What? I shouldn't browse internet without getting my personal info stolen? Oh, they're tracking criminals? Then why don't you install a camera in your fucking living room so you can help them out? And don't fucking get me started on why I don't want to use Windows 10.
Fuck fucking fuck fuck. I know he's a good friend but this fucking shit gets my blood boiling.8 -
I was talking with a PHP dev. He was also fan of Hellreiser as I am.
We were bored and I sugested to design a “Php superhero” or something like that. He propoused “Php man: Once the page loads, he can’t do anything”. Then, I draw this: A Php cenobite. (Cenobite: Like an interdimentional sado monster)
Yes, the php dev is the same guy of the php thong from my last rant 😂
7 -
Me: "hey CEO, that product that's only had 3 devs on for a couple of years has grossed a million brit bucks 2 years running. Any chance we could get some laptops for the team that aren't heavy as fuck and 4-5 years old. Maybe some monitors that aren't tiny and dull as fuck?"
CEO: "no"
Also, what's people's dream dev gear?9 -
A cable company in my home country recently launched their cloud hosting solution.
Their cheapest plan is $125 and it comes with a 1vCPU, 1GB of RAM and 50 GB HDD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. That's the equivalent of a $10 plan in DigitalOcean.
P.S.
Picking Linux or Windows does not change the price 😐4 -
So woke up this morning and Paypal had just banned my account with no reason whatsoever. I only receive funds from 3 clients who I have been working with for a few years now. My account is already verified with my ID and utilities bill. Am a freelance so I depend on it. So it's a case of ' hey, we think you did something wrong, we are not going to tell you what but are banning you permanently and keeping your money for 6 months'. F piss of shit of a company.
23 -
To whoever in the history of this godforsaken app I’m tasked with has commingled PHP with ColdFusion, I have a message for you:
Fuck you...fuck your momma, fuck yo daddy, fuck yo computer, fuck yo keyboard, fuck yo mouse, fuck the clothes on your back, fuck monitors that displayed this shit, fuck your fingers in particular, fuck yo brain, fuck whoever dropped yo on your head as an infant, fuck the car you drove to work in, fuck the servers running this shit, fuck anybody who was involved with your education, and if I see you on the street ima slap the shit out of you.7 -
We need to fill a Google form for some formalities at college. They want us to fill our parents' anniversary date as well. Why the fuck?
Thankfully, the field is not marked as compulsory to fill else I'd be paranoid as hell (still am tho).
8 -
I woke up early and thaught I could finish some database work today.
Beeing tipsy I deleted two production tables and shit my pants.
Luckily I do backups since the last retarded db-deletion.8 -
!rant
Whenever I open someone elses code, I do a project wide search for "FUCK".
Found many of these:
die("FUCK")
// fuck this
// #todo FUCK
Works on github as well. 😂🤣1 -
Ohhh Apple.... At this point you might as well change your logo to 🖕 with the motto, "Apple, coz FUCK YOU"
8 -
About to do my first certification... Its an online test and I am nervous as fuck...
Wish me luck!!!12 -
Its my morning rant time... Me and my team are working on implementing our solution into 20 year old piece of shit POS system which:
1. Uses old piece of shit computers - which is slower than average calculator.
2. Uses .Net 2.0 - and no higher versions could be installed.
3. Has 20 year old documentation - outdated as fuck.
4. Throws unknown and non explainable COMExceptions.
5. Works slow as fuck.
And we have to deal with all its issues as 3rd side integration.. FUCK... FUCK.. FUCK....
8 -
Fuck. Medium.
Fuck all the articles on it too.
Do you seriously think I am so fucking dumb that I cannot keep my attention on a paragraph of text without at least one image for five seconds straight?
Three quarters of your shitty fucking article are images. They don't even relate to a damn thing in the article. It's just a fucking stream of random image subtitles.
It's just as bad as people randomly mashing pictures they found via Google search into their Power Point presentation because they actually have no content, breaking all copyright laws in the process, so they can stretch their mindless bullshit as long as humanly possible.
FUCK. YOU.6 -
Just find a kind of opensource license shorted as WTFPL, which means "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"😂😂😂5
-
Flash has made Java programs look desirable. And anyone keeping up with me knows I despise Java and C#, despite having written C# and currently working on deciphering a Java server to create documentation.
Before I begin, I want to make this clear: IT IS TWO THOUSAND AND FUCKING EIGHTEEN. 2018. WE HAVE BETTER TECH. JAVASCRIPT HAS TAKEN OVER THIS BITCH. So, firstly, FUCK FLASH. Seriously, that shit's a security liability. If you work for a company that uses it, find a new job and then fucking quit, or go mutany and get several devs to begin a JS-based implementation that has the same functionality. There is no excuse. "I'm fired?" That's not an excuse - if there is a way to stop the madness, then fucking hit the brakes on that shit or begin job hunting. Oh, and all you PMs who are reading this and have mandated or helped someone else to mandate work on an enterprise flash program, FUCK YOU. You are part of the problem.
The reason for this outburst seems unreasonable until you realize the hell I went through today. At my University, there is a basic entry-level psychology course I'm taking. Pearson, a company I already fucking hate for some of the ethically sketchy shit they pulled with PARCC as well as overreach in publishing to the point they produce state tests here in the US - has a product called "My PsychLab" and from here on out, I'm referring to it as MPL. MPL has an issue - it is entirely fucking Flash. Homework assignments, the textbook, FUCKING EVERYTHING. So, because of that, you need to waste time finding a browser that works. Now let me remind all of you that just because something SHOULD WORK does NOT mean that it actually does.
I'm sitting on my Antergos box a few days ago: Chromium and Firefox won't load Flash. I don't know why, and don't care to find out. NPAPI and whatnot are deprecated but should still run in a limited mode or some shit. No go on Antergos.
So, today I went to the lab in the desolated basement of an old building which is where it's usually empty except a student hired by the university to make sure nobody fucks things up. I decided - because y'all know I fuckin' hate this - to try Windows. No go in Chrome still - it loaded Flash but couldn't download the content. So I tried Firefox - which worked. My hopes were up, but not too long - because there was no way to input. The window had buttons and shit - but they were COMPLETELY UNRESPONSIVE.
So the homework is also Flash-based. It's all due by 1/31/18 - FOUR CHAPTERS AND THE ACCOMPANYING HOMEWORK - which I believe is Tuesday, and the University bookstore is closed both Saturday and Sunday. No way to get a physical copy of the book. And I have other classes - this isn't the only one.
Also, the copyright on the program was 2017 - so whoever modded or maintained that Flash code - FUCK YOU AND THE IRRESPONSIBLE SHIT YOUR TEAM PULLED. FUCK THE SUPERIORS MAKING DECISIONS AS WELL. Yeah, you guys have deadlines? So do the end users, and when you have to jump through hoops only to realize you're fucked? That's a failure of management and a failure of a product.
How many people are gonna hate me for this? Haters gonna hate, and I'm past the point of caring.7 -
Am I the only one who thinks Silicon Valley is extremely overrated? A ridiculously high cost of living, just for a start up? During start up phase, wouldn't conserving money be a better idea?6
-
30 years programming (I'm 38)
15 years as a professional
Triplebyte thinks my coding and debugging skills are poor
What the actual fuck16 -
It's 2.30 a.m. here. Had a very emotionally bad day and I don't feel like sleeping now. Fuck you emotions!! :(
I guess I could enjoy the silence at least... and devRant4 -
- Fuck mobile apps that open links in embedded browser windows
- Fuck Wordpress page builders that use the single content field as an embedded IDrag&DropE.
- Fuck unindented HTML markup
- Fuck plugins with "pro" versions that provide more than 50% of the advertised features.
- Fuck building an app with a SPA framework and then adding SSR cuz ur SEO is fucked.
- Fuck Javascript transitions that are meant to make a site look fancy but slow it the fuck down.
Fuck it.
Vent your frustrations9 -
I hate when a client says, hear me out. As though I give a fuck about the details of your shit idea.3
-
*clears throat*
Building turn based enemy AI for a strategy game can go fuck itself...
I'm normally able to work out other forms of AI but as soon as I try to work out how to build AI for TBS, I just seem to have my brain exit my body....
I've been at this for fucking hours and have no idea what the fuck I'm doing .-.7 -
Help me solving this logical puzzle. I'm dumb as fuck.
You need to find the logical link to get the missing number.
9 -
Vendor we('re forced to) work with, as we share a client. This is in their stylesheet. Fuck SEO best practices, amirite?! 😒
5 -
My god the wall looks really punchable right now. Let me tell you why.
So I’m working on a data mining project, and I’m trying to get data from google trends. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of roadblocks for what should have been an easy task.
First it won’t give a raw search volume, only relative “interest”.
Fortunately it lets me compare search terms, which would work for my needs however it will only let me compare a few at a time. I need to compare 300.
So my solution is simple: compare all the terms relative to one term. Simple enough, but it would be time consuming so I figured I’d write a program to get the data.
But then I learned that they don’t have an official api. There’s a node module for this very thing based on a python module that reverse engineers the api endpoints. I thought as long as it works I’d use it.
It does work... But then I discovered that google heavily rate limits the endpoints.
So... I figured I’d build a system to route the requests through different tor nodes to get around the rate limit. Good solution right? Well like a slap to the face, after spending way to much time getting requests through tor working, I discovered that THEY FUCKING BLOCKED TOR IPS.
So I gave up, and resigned to wait 5 hours for my program to get the data... 1 comparison at a time... 60s interval between requests. They, of course, don’t tell you the rate limit threshold, so this is more or less a guess (I verified that 30s interval was too short and another person using the module suggested 60s).
Remember when I said the discovery that the blocked tor came like a slap to the face? This came as a sledge hammer to the face: for some reason my program didn’t dump the data at the end. I waited 5 fucking hours to get nothing.
I am so mad right now. I am so fucking mad.4 -
Why the fuck does my baggage arrive late at the airport... Why can't it be soon as I need it. Always happens.11
-
Today is my birthday and my company as a present will make me work on disgusting legacy code, stored procedures, impossible to debug and convoluted as fuck.
And everything needs to be released yesterday...
Happy birthday motherfucker.1 -
Well, I'm still in 1981 Hell as far as serial connectivity goes, but we got boobs on the screen, because when we're working with DOS 5.00.2 BETA and 4 colors at a time, why the fuck not?
-
Trying to find Python documentation for Microsoft's fucking retarded CRM is about as fun as brushing my peehole with a toothbrush. Fuck.5
-
This week's sprint:
Bugs that cannot be reproduced
Features that are vague as shit
Man fuck this week...1 -
Got official announcement that power will be cut off and given in schedule. For many weeks.
Fuck, we are all just adult toodlers pretending to run businesses as a game. Right? So yeah, just fuck us.3 -
Man fuck the heat, fuck the chaos and prolonged temporariness of the weeks after uni ends, fuck my executive dysfunction, fuck the job hunt process and fuck my crumbling body that I never bothered to fix because the train ticket was a serious financial commitment and because, again, executive dysfunction.
Fucking hate my situation right now. And the fact that it's not actually bad as far as human situations go doesn't help one bit.2 -
Looks like despite 20-30 years on the market all popular text / spreadsheet editors are still loading whole file to memory.
What the fucking wankers. WTF are they doing whole day besides changing menu layout and icon colors ?
Clearly development today is lead by bunch of idiots from marketing department accompanied with HR hiring social network self made models.
What a fucked up world.
Let’s add AI to our software but fails to open 150MB csv file.
Great job everyone. Great job.4 -
that feeling when your (thrice) refactored code executes literally 1000 times faster.
loading excel ranges into vba arrays and process these is much faster than comparing the ranges themselves. also much more readable. please don't throw rocks at me for don't knowing this in advance.6 -
So, giving a talk soon and marketing wanted to see the slides.
Comments come back. On every slide that is purely visual they've suggested I add a title and a para or two of text.
Fuck you and your fucking slideuments. If you want them to read the material send them a memo and save me the fucking trip.
Or even better, turn up yourselves and read lists of bulletpoints off the screen for 30 mins while I sit in hotel hot-tub with a cocktail.
I hate the inanity of corporate life.
Next time I'm going to send you a blank slide and live draw my diagrams. See how you like that, arseholes.4 -
The only events around me seem to be strictly for women and "diverse" people... Whatever the fuck that means. I guess fuck who I am as a person, right?20
-
TLDR: Scope creep.
Fuck it! I hate scope creep! 2 days before the deadline is due, slip in a little scope creep to bolster your already ambiguous as fuck scope! Of course, more fool me for taking on a project with a scope as ambiguous as this one. Or for accepting the 'just do x and y and your done' as gospel. But then again I enjoy paying my bills and you know, eating from time to time!
Fuck 'em! Fuck Clients! Fuck Scope Creep! Fuck Ambiguity to it's very Fucking core! Fuck it! Fuck me! Fuck code! I'm venturing under my table for a little cry and a sulk, then back at the god-damned grindstone to finish the project and all it's creepy scopy bits before the deadline tomorrow! FUCK!2 -
"Hey, I need a website making.."
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF.
"I can't believe you're turning away work.."
As if I don't have enough shit to deal with without this douchebag. -
Why is Typescript such a snarky fuck?
a: number = 2;
tYpE Is TrIviAlLy InFeRReD fRoM NuMbeR lItERaL
Shut the fuck up you barely turing complete piece of digital refuse. Why does it bother you so much if I leave the fucking type on for clarity? This is almost as bad as my ex.5 -
I swear my ISP has already done away with net neutrality. My connection is always going out whenever I need to look something up for work.3
-
You know those days you have at work where you just want to shout “Fuck it” as loud as you can and just walk out ..... yeah it was that kinda day 😡
-
Handed off a Markdown presentation to the marketing dept to add some pizzaz too---just to see what happens.
My bet is that they'll redo it all in PowerPoint. Or fire me. Latter is the lessor of two evils.2 -
Other dev: fuck you, your code can't handle null as input
Me: yeah, because it's kotlin. It's like I added @NotNull, so?...
Other dev: fuck kotlin
Me: fuck you and your nullpointers. Don't pass my precious constructor that crap!2 -
Seriously, fuck Xcode up the ass with a hot poker. What a piece of shit. It can’t even handle graphics as well as MacDraw circa 19895
-
I can't believe I've just wasted 2 DAYS of my vacation to properly configure logging in my project...
2 fucking days!!! For something as trivial (yet vital) as logging!!!
FUCK3 -
Guys!!!!
Guysss!!!!
And girls....
when your stoned and drunk as me, please watch "This is Not Happening" on youtube....
I'm crying here of laughter...
OMG
The bear... Oh , To baad no more bozze8 -
Devs, post your device's homescreen screenshot here.
Starting with mine.
Device name : One plus 3T
25 -
Oh my fucking god which idiot decided to use JS as a scripting language for Minecraft Forge core mods
Literally what the fuck3 -
Meeting Stats [Total invites vs. Attended]
Previous week:
Total: 37
Attended: 21
Current week: [as of Wednesday noon]
Total: 41
Attended: 22
Next week: [as of Wednesday current week]
Total: 36
Will attend: FUCK OFF15 -
Being bad at something that you want to be good at is the most fucking annoying thing I've ever experienced. Fuck.1
-
What started as a changing our games background music as a joke quickly turned into 3+ hours of debugging.. For fuck sake.
-
Why the fuck should I echo javascript?
Why in fucks name you do not deal with JSON responses?
Plugin devs are either lazy, or simply stupid as fuck!
Ps: Or I'm actually crazy6 -
As much as I love using a mechanical keyboard ,I fucking hate the taps it makes when others use it
It’s like this constant hammer,
FUCK YOU BITCHES , don’t fucking hit it likes there’s no tomorrow !!!5 -
Sometimes I use "KillMe" or "FML" in my debugging strings as a silent cry against whatever-the-fuck has upset me.2
-
G’day dev rant community, Im bloody annoyed, so what happened was i finished college about 1pm had a mad feed at grilled happy as fred, walking the streets of sydney past UTS - and thennnn “OMG HELLO CAN U STOP AND TALK TO ME?” And me silly enough give her 5 minutes of my precious time, mind you she is bloody yelling as she is talking ##%%#ing land whale!! “Can you please donate $5 a week to this charity - mind you its a ####ing scam- then another dude comes out of no where saying “oh has she been nice to you?” - me “ oh absolutely “ and in my mind im saying “no #%#%ing way does this blabbering whale normally speak like this”...
Then it only gets on my nerves “oh are you poor are you?? I know it must be extremely stressful and expensive living in sydney” he says , man who tf are these annoying pricks annoying people heading into and out of work?? How dare you say im poor you dont know me?!
Anyways ladies and gentlemen I sincerely hope you all have a great day or night wherever you may be!
Kind regards
Milo4 -
Fuck you Twitter for making your widgets createTweet-method only work with the tweet-id as string. Fuck you especially for don't returning nor throwing any error for giving an integer value to it.
This took some time... -
Why is fuck as a fucking word used so fucking often??? In like every other fucking rant on my fucking feed...6
-
!dev
Fuck you google!!
Let me send a mail to my shitty internet service provider with abusive words as much as possible.
Fucking gmail rejecting my message as spam by content filtering.6 -
As a dev that can't work from home, sincerely, fuck you weather. I'm gonna punch the next person that says climate change isn't real.
2 -
Well look at me, high as fuck and drunk past reasoning fixing the production environment. Wish me luck.1
-
Just listened to the podcast, Tim rogus known as "T Rogus" no fuck you! You will stay Trogus for me for all eternity!5
-
WooHoo, lets miss this deadline, fuck yeah!!!
Has 20 tasks last week monday, had 50 Wednesday and 51 Friday, as of today we have finished 1.5 and deadline is in 6 day, and shit is STILL changing. Fuck YEAH!!! -
yo canada WHAT THE FUCK
that kid who asked me for help
the ministry or w/e got back to me
"we cannot help this child as their abusers were deemed untouchable"
FUCK DO YOU MEAN UNTOUCHABLE12 -
Fucking hate it when I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because of mental restlessness.
... Like, when the fuck did the evolution come up with this shitshow? And why?5 -
I'm addicted to dark theme everywhere. Dark Firefox, dark chrome, dark YouTube, dark devrant, dark Reddit, dark Google keyboard. What else can I make dark?11
-
Google's new Material design, with more curvy elements with broad borders, woth cocky font ...... is UGLY as FUCK
12 year kid at work10 -
Fuck windows and fuck policies that read my hdd as unencrypted forcing me to restart in the middle of a massive data transfer operation. That is all.4
-
Fucking corporate bullshit, I was coding (mostly creating bugs and pulling my hair off) all night on my free time (I'm on night shifts I keep the schedule when I have my days off) and at the moment I was making huge progress on my project, I gotta go to sleep to go back to work 4h later to follow a fucking 2h training on team efficiency and cohesion, in other words, how to waste 2h in a useless meeting and not getting it back + interrupting the only night I was in the zone, I'm so tired of this....2
-
In this world where everyone is a lying son of a bitch, being truthful is hot as fuck. Be hot as fuck!4
-
Cold as fuck in my flat
i don't want to write these unit tests
RRRAAAAAAAAGSFGGDDFGFDSA SAFSA SVA11 -
My eyes hurt everytime our backend guy gives me a new REST API to implement in our app and always the formatting of the json is something like this. Like why can't you just fucking format it properly so I won't have to look at my code and feel disappointed for writing such ugly code. All because your lazy ass didn't care to understand the fundamentals of how json objects and arrays work !!! It's been a month since I've joined this company and I'm tired of explaining why we should use the status code for failure checking and not this stupid pass/fail status flag. I don't even remember how many times I've brought it up but everytime I get reasons like "Dude, you know what our server is never going to go down or fail so it doesn't even matter". And at that point I feel like I shouldn't even argue with him anymore.
3 -
How often do you get bored (eg. on a bus) and just code something completely stupid on your phone?
(pic is the result of some spaggeti I made on a bus today)
7 -
My manager tried to schedule a 5 hour meeting for me to attend :)
Disguised as “working session”
Fuck you asshole2 -
On my way to my first interview for my internship as a software developer. I just hope I don't fuck it up D:8
-
If I got a dollar for each time I did well in an online contest, I would be poor as fuck.
like very intense fuck.2 -
My specialization exam is over hurray! But what now? Went from working 30+ hours a week to 0.
Never have i felt so empty, from coming home feeling tired and a need to relax with games to just existing.
I literally got home, stared at my desktop for about an hour, and then began work on one of my friends exam projekt... I think I'm broken :p1 -
When some complete Fuck-Knuckle marks your question as a duplicate on Stackoverflow and doesn't link to the duplicate.2
-
Contact tracing is scary as fuck!
I feel like we should all make an effort to tell people not build these things6 -
Setupwars. Show off your epic coding zone setup.
Your biggest oh fuck moment as developer. "I dropped the prod DB"1 -
i'm lost as fuck in my physics class my teacher decided to use the unicode smile ☺︎︎ instead of x in the equations instead of helping me??
the fuck?6 -
As long as there's good documentation, and is relatively speedy, I really don't give a fuck what language/tech I'm using.5
-
Happened to me a while ago:
co-worker: don't use (C++) templates so your colleagues who aren't as smart as you don't have such a hard time understanding your code.
me: said the guy who uses macros all over the place.
co-worker: macros have been around for years and you can expect one to understand those.
me: *tempted to start a discussion about C++ with one who started programming with C like 20 years ago and who doesn't give a fuck about learning new things*... You're right!4 -
Atlassian bitbucket you sad sorry piece of shit. I can see an old coworker's PR in the list but you won't accept it as a valid search target under the author searchbox, but even older ex-employees are searchable. What the flying fuck, go out of business.
And fuck you for JIRA as well. -
LLVM. Fun as fuck. Especially when all the C++ API examples from online don't even compile anymore.4
-
After 4 years off apprenticeship and 10 days of totally focused work I just turned in my final exam! (45 Minutes ago)
The final exam for IT professionals (here in Switzerland) is a project that you work on for ten days at your workplace.
I thought I would feel relieved in any way.
But honestly, there are only two things in my head right now:
Tiredness
And
The constant thought off what could be wrong
I AM TOO TIRED FOR EVERYTHING!
The only thing that keeps me alive for now is the music shaking my ears2 -
Ok guys. Here’s a company who used to offer a slack alternative free and unlimited but now charges anywhere from 79 dollars to 100 to 790 dollars for the same product. Company is Ryver. I dare say they just pissed off tons of customers who loved them for their generous limits. The worst thing is is that if you already have more than 6 users from when they offered the generous free plan, they put you into READ ONLY even for existing members. I thought I’d share this corporate fuckery with people who care. Unless you have tons of cash to burn, don’t try their product. Thanks for reading.3
-
Fuck tech led organisations.
I understand there are some limitations and a different way to look at things.
But fuck those product leaders who just want a stage to talk but will start shivering as soon they have to talk to their tech counterpart.
Ugh! This is annoying.
My Sr. Director has a great mind set but everyone is taking him down and he isn't getting as much support from his tech counterparts as much as he should.4 -
So I had this awesome idea yesterday, and I was really in to it and all, so before I started working on it I googled some stuff, and while looking for something (how do you generate session cookies) I just found out that somebody did EXACTLY what I wanted to do. Now I'm sad.7
-
A very high chance of becoming asocial which will fuck up everything afterwards. Basically the same reason as with any other nerd work/hobby.
-
I opened "About" screen
I read "Write native Android/IOS apps with JavaScript"
A second later: "devRant stopped unexpectedly"
Okay :D -
Can we have a new rule on greendots? As soon as they ask for "the codes" instant permanent ban. Fuck off.10
-
So I have finally decided to integrate Trello with the small internal CRM app I built for my work. Everything seems well on my Linux dev machine.
And now when I try to update our app at our server, I realized our server only has php5.6 and I need php7.1 and our server is windows. :3
Lucky today is Thursday.
Hope everything is done before the last bus to home. 🙏🙏🙏4 -
Fuck mosquitoes.
One little fucker buzzed around me having the feast of its life as I gave a proctored fucking hackerrank test7 -
Why do some countries do everything they can to stifle industry and economy?
I'm in South Africa and looking to build a high end rig. With local distributors a PC in the Excellent and above category of Logical Increments cost 3x as much as it should. Importing it myself would cost even more for shipping.
Guess I'll stick to a potato for now.13 -
Before rant (introduction): I'm the kind of dev that is a procrastinator by default, it takes me a huge amount of effort to avoid this bad habit.
Rant:
So, I'm going on vacation next week and finished all my shores on Monday. As I'm about to go on vacation, my team leader is avoiding giving me work so that it doesn't stay half way when I leave.
The problem is, this is the third day that I arrive at the office knowing that I will be there for 8 hours wasting my time not doing shit and looking at the screen!!!
The worst part is that if I get this bad habit going, it will stay and I will start to procrastinate a lot if I don't work to do fast5 -
How the fuck does php type juggleling evaluate an variable as an integer on my system and passing all tests.
Then on the server as string, failing a typesafe comparison for authentication.8 -
i think i just hit my limit after 5 years of no breaks or time off between finishing my studies and working 2 jobs sleep deprivation these last couple of weeks I'm barely able to work can't wake up either I've been sleeping 4-5 hours for a while. now i can truly say Fuck My Life.7
-
Was trying to read the json data from a json file using python. But was stuck for a very long time as it was giving a json decide error. After much fuss I came to figure out that I forgot to use the read function to read the json data from the file :P1
-
How the fuck does Facebook know about the points of interest in videos, so as to play an ad just before that point?3
-
"We've got a new opportunity for you."
I'm a fucking rookie. I didn't know the meaning of this sentence. Suddenly, I become the "IP PBX expert" of the society.
"-Okay, it's some networking shit, I thing I'm good at networking shit. Piece of cake.
-Okay great, you have one month to learn how this thing works, because we WILL provide this kind of service."
Damn.
I spent one month learning this shit on my free time, printing RFCs and living in the fucking MATRIX to not fuck up on the very first day doing that, just in case something on the customers' network fucks with the PABX or something like that.
Oh yeah, I forgot: I'm paid 80% of the minimum wage because I am actually not qualified to do my job and I'm spending one week a month to learn how to IT (some french weirdness I think, if not, maybe it's the germans' fault. Also yes, 100% legal).
Today, they announced me that they "changed their mind".
I'm pissed.1 -
I don't believe, that I could ever be hired as a software developer... I want to die. I want to die as soon as possible... Fuck this all! Fuck this shitty fucking Life!!!6
-
Why the fuck Angular is superior as compared to React? Everyone I know just wants to choke on Angular.3
-
Never understand why schools use C/C++ as an introductory programming langauges. Someone needs to tell those text editor people to fuck off.
52 -
Fuck. I just realized:
In English,
this is a semicolon “;”? Which has half as many dots as the [full]colon “:”
#mind
#blown12 -
SOOO last monday I got a new MS Office and Outlook in my office. It's ugly as fuck and not as functionable as the old one we got here, and I cannot install Thunderbird or so...
But at least NIGHT THEME WUUUU
-
Method passing as argument.
Fuck you who are doing that.
FUCK YOU !!!!
Use fucking STATIC !!!!!!!!11 -
I hate Vue. There I said it. I hate components. I hate this stupid error that I keep getting. I hate that I just want a simple answer to why I keep getting this error and that seems to be difficult to find. Where is my vanilla JavaScript?3
-
While the US is melting the fuck down around me...
Those in other countries, what is all this like to see?
I'm rather indifferent as the riots usually accomplish fuck all, just like peaceful protests, as they don't make higher-ups care at all, they're just annoying.46 -
HR:why do you want to join this company?
My friend(trying to be oversmart):why do YOU want to hire me?
Result rejected :D
PS: He has gone to CMU for masters so zero fucks given from his side.1 -
The guy (!dev think he is some kind of analyst) who insists on pacing up and down the open plan office with his Bluetooth headset when on a call1
-
Making a simple 2d game in unity for a friend:
Never used unity or C#, but this looks easy. Gravity is already there, background is drag and drop, etc. That shit is fucking easy.
I think the hardest thing is going to be the textures, and inkscape got my back on that!
Anyway, I really need to sleep but I’m just reading the tutorial!
LET ME SLEEP FUCKING DEV BRAIN!2 -
named two strings as fuck and cunt (because im tired of debugging this stupid bug since last 5 hours)
compiling...
aaand laptop freezes
fuck. my. life.1 -
fml. too tired to learn something new. after staring at the screen for half an hour i give up, shut down brain and await to wake up more frustrated because lack of creation.
thought i'd spend a good time coding during my vacation but instead i am exhausted of home restauration. i can hardly remember when was the last time i did something just for fun and not because it simply had to be done.1 -
I JUST WANT TO CODE BUT MY ENVIRONMENT DESTROYS ITSELF AS SOON AS I TURN AROUND AND IM LEFT READING STACKTRACES THAT TELL ME TO CONTACT THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR.
WHO THE FUCK IS THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR ANYWAY?!1 -
Why the actual fuck is MariaDB disguised as MySQL in the AUR?!? Is there just no way to install MySQL from the AUR anymore?4
-
When you hate every fucking thing on earth and want to kill everyone on this fucked up planet.
That bug didnt fix. Fuck you.
The client needs answer now. Fuck you.
Stackoverflow user marked it as duplicate. Fuck you in particular.
Fuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkk every fucking asshole. -
Errh... I'm sick as fuck, just the day when we should begin the C++ inheritance. I stay at home today so that's good but I would like to work on the C++ concepts, I don't want to be late...
Anyway, I can do the exercises at home but like I said, I'm sick as fuck so, I don't know what I should do : rest or work?1 -
Halo and COD Megabloks or whatever the fuck they've rebranded as now figurines, and a few fidget toys.2
-
I wish the clients without knowledge would fuck off about google page speed insights, as if it actually measures speed and as if I give a fuck about your new raison d'être.
-
I really tried to give tailwind a chance. I gave my best to start using it....
I hate it. It sucks. It makes my design process slow as fuck. Fuck of with this shit.5 -
Y'know what.
Fuck all the political posts here,
and fuck all of you who see them as a opening to spout your counter arguments.12 -
// I could not post it yesterday coz #devrant
Am I the only person here who really but really started to hate fireworks?
Everyone is shooting, I can't even play because it is so loud outside and do not try to open windows coz you will die from poisoning in seconds...2 -
Way to go Xcode, you make something as simple as a splash screen an insane headache of cOnStrAiNts
WTF is going on
fuck you -
Whatever, as long as it has 0 dependency to mainframe 💩 directly or not
Fuck mainframe up it's dusty ass -
Fuck you javascript. You're the worst. Fuck you fuck you. Why I became a fucking frontend developer. Fuck me and my stupid idea to get hired as a...
Oh nvm found the bug. JS is za best.1 -
I'm just about done with this asp project and I feel like I've spent at least twice as long on JQuery as I have C#.
Who the fuck thought methods as string options was a good idea?1 -
I think my senior does not really care to what I say. I told him that we need to study the core of spring framework before the mvc part so we can easily understand the source code of our client. And now that we're given a task to create and update new functionality on that given source code, him and our intern having a hard time finishing their task because they don't even know what @Autowired is.
Anyway good luck sir :) -
Aaaah, my delighted daily dose of wonderfully not-written-by-me CSS I have to edit from time to time...
I always feel so enlightened after spending time in those files.
2 -
I don’t get why ARM assembly is so much clunkier than it should be. It could’ve been so much more readable and easy to write in if more dev-friendliness was built into the syntax.
14 -
It really shows I'm tired. I can hear every single word I'm reading in my head, and it's going slow as fuck.
Lick... Me... And... Be... Free... !... 2h... Random... Favorite...
Fuck me I'm sick3 -
HOLY FUCK! How can you be that stupid , fuck me Im literally losing business as we speak
(Yes I tried to continue it) #dontgiveup3 -
Got involved into a conversation/debate.
Said something as argument.
Opponent repeat with a 'yea' and plus what I just said as his argument naturally (amazing) and expect my response.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? -
I come from a simple html, css background with a bit knowledge in php and some simple cms.
Decided to use a modern cms to learn something new... -
When you have no time to learn by code snippet, you'd have to copy and paste it rather than writing it line by line.
-
Rather than finishing my Projekt had some beer (Becks) and watched soccer. Still exhausting as fuck :/2
-
Dear Manjaro,
Retroarch as the primary emulator frontend?
What the fuck?
Not Emulationstation, not literally anything else?! 😐
- Sincerely, Disappointed. -
What infrastructurial fuck / poor design happened that Tinder does not allow changing the profile nickname? Did some enlightened celestial cunt thought of using the nick as a primary key or what the fuck?3
-
As a programmer I solve my life problems using programming too..
<?php
$problemSolved = “Fuck Life!!!”;
echo $problemSolved;
?>4 -
My new colleague ia awesome he has 4 year of experience in dev and I'm enjoying his company as fuck.5
-
https://support.live.com/ returns "Service Unavailable - DNS failure" but hotmail continues to list my servers as spammer...
how the fuck do I delist my server like this!!! FUCK!4 -
"Software" such as Yoast SEO, by Yoast is the reason people hate WordPress.
Fuck Yoast SEO, fucking bugged crapware piece of horseshit.2 -
web dev is hell, really, how hard can it be to add a background-image to the body in a mobile.
seriously, I had it fixed, left bottomx no repeat and contain, just that! as simple as it can be (not really, it would be simple if it hadn't vas at all)
"it works great, but your page can only have one paragraph, more text than that and I will ignore your background in your phone" this is the css talking.
fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it! -
So the views result counter global field in Drupal 8 doesn't like to be bothered with mathematic expressions in TWIG. FUCK FUKC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
It will render it's own value and seems to be cast as a string like other fields in the view but as soon as you try to increment it or multiply something by it, IT TURNS INTO ZERO!
😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 -
I fucking hate our chairperson in our university
She always gloats that our university js the best in our country like wtf ever since the university got ISO accreditation they went batshit crazy with the students
They cant even land ABET-CAC. Honestly fuck them!! They even want me to shift to another course because i failed to attend 2 months of classes, I was treated for heart problem with proper med cert and all, but they still said that im not good enough that i cant survive in the field that i cant be part of the department because they want people who graduate from the university as top notch people. She even gloated that students in our department have freelance jobs before graduating. FUCK THEM!! Our profs doesnt even know how to properly be a thesis advisor, one of our profs teaching database file org. Doesnt even know hoe to code or even to query like wtf! One of our profs teaches ONLY 5 times in a semester
FUCK THEM THE CHAIRPERSON HERSELF CANT EVEN TEACH AND SHE IS STUCK IN THAT JOB FOR YEARS
Honestly this is why students are degraded! How can someone reach their potential with this how can a country prosper.
The throw that shit at me but i am a founder and president of a tech company running for atleast 2 years now (i dont let the department know of this) im doing shit just to make sure i get a diploma and support myself and the whole team but fuck then they cant even set uo a proper curriculum -
Hyper-V have one job and fail it ... Fuck micro$hit product ! Install Ubuntu on hyper-v lag as fuck ... Why why you do that mother fucker2
-
Feeling stupid as fuck in a group programming with our lead engineer (and Im the one driving). Tell me Im not useless :(1
-
Let's be real: CS/engineering degrees are traumatic. As someone who JUST finished his final bit of coursework, holy fuck. I need a therapist4
-
I need help understanding secured PayPal Express Checkout via my Webshop.
So I basically try to make a lizens system. At the web shop you can add an Server IP and buy my stuff for it. Now I don't know what to do about checking out. I want to use Express Checkout via PayPal but the JS API provided by PayPal seems pretty insecure.
Now should I use the Official PayPal API or should I use an PHP API found on the Internet?
And other things that could help my Webshop are welcome to!2 -
Lesson learned .. never use sailsjs
Magic data loss
Laggy as fuck (832ms)... php5 runs better than this(210ms)
memory leaks -
Fuck you drupal and your gibberish arrays. what the fuck. and the size of those, it's easier to swallow a cactus than to understand.
Fuck trying to assign a default value to a field, it is about as easy as solving the middle east conflicts. FUCK! -
The fact that Windows 10 needs its own bootloader as the primary to update and fuck up GRUB is beyond me, so much for “supporting Linux”. Fuck you Microshit.
-
finally using git portable with usb repo for work related things! (no online repo possible) feels good man!7
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