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Search - "don't need this"
-
Today I discovered by myself that...
...in a shell...
...when entering a password (e.g. ssh)...
...and you make a typo... 🤦♂️
...you don't need to smack that backspace key like a maniac! You can just use the clear line shortcut: control+U (^U). This clears all input to the left of your cursor and this also works for passwords.26 -
Ever wanted cheat codes to devRant? Well, that's weird. But here you go, I guess.
Since the avatars do not use any external assets (Such as images), all avatars are generated. To be friendly to people who want to make third-party devRant clients (such as devRantron), avatars are generated server-side, so that the assets don't need to be distributed, and third-party programmers don't need to work out rendering avatars.
But this allows you to cheat a little.
The devRant avatars API works like this: you request a really long URL from the API, specifying the IDs of each cosmetic item the user has active, and it returns a PNG file. But you don't need an auth token to generate an avatar (which makes sense), so the avatar API is essentially a sandbox you can play around with if you have the time and patience.
You can write a really good avatar previewer with this knowledge, and see your avatar with a white tiger, even if you don't have the ++s
13 -
Me: I know so many languages, I don't need to learn c++ to follow along with this 3D OpenGl tutorial!
Narrator: Oh, but he did need to know c++ to follow along with the 3D OpenGl tutorial.4 -
First day at new web dev job:
Me: what IDE do you guys use?
Coworker: Notepad/notepad++
M: Okay... Any version control?
C: Oh we don't need it. We just update the server pages.
*Boss walks in*
Boss: Heres the project for you to do just need you to rebrand this web app we made for client A for client B just need to change some scripts. Should only take afew hours.
I take a look. No comments. Not formatted. Missing braces and brackets. Semicolons at odd places and missing at others. 7802 lines of code...15 -
BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...
after work...
BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...
sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...
sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....
im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole16 -
Every teacher of every course ever:
"This will be the hardest course you've ever done"
"This will be the most fun course you've ever done"
"You will need to put in 40hrs to even get a sufficient mark"
hah! don't make me laugh!6 -
Manager: I need estimates for your sprint tasks
Me: I've never done any of this before, my estimates have no context and are effectively worthless
Manager: don't worry it's just for the Jira board.
Me: OK *gives estimates*
End of sprint comes...
Manager: Why isn't task X done?
Me: *sigh*
I don't miss my old job :)
3 -
- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"
😑 are you kidding me..
Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.6 -
"We don't need that network profile for this interface anymore."
*Removes*
*40+ virtual machines lose network connectivity*
"Huh. That shouldn't have happened...Well, I gotta catch my flight. Machoog, you got this?"
*Panic!*3 -
Saturday late night wisdom.
Software developers you need to work on communication skills.
Everytime LinkedIn says need a problem solver. It means a guy who can understand what non technical guy is asking for and translate that to a software or at least come up with a example of why he is wrong. Explain them. They are not dumb fellows for asking that feature. You might think the feature is stupid. Don't assume this. Sit with them. Understand thier user flow, understand the frustration your software is causing them. Then you'll see why are asking for that X feature.
Every feature request made is basically my opportunity of understanding of product. Don't wait for users to tell you requirements. Understand and suggest, implement prototypes and show them, a causal question such as "Hey would you think providing a keyboard shortcut for this submission is great?"
Understand our job is not just to write software.
Our job is to solve thier problems using software knowledge.
Don't you agree ?4 -
Heard a fun quote from a project manager today:
"Naaah we don't need tests, that project is so small it wouldn't be worth it"
Seconds later: "Why does this keep breaking all the time and we only notice it once deployed?"8 -
It's disheartening to see a senior member of my team shitting on the code of less mature developers. Don't just say "this is unacceptable", elaborate, teach them. How are they going to action anything from that feedback?
Take the time to respond to their questions when they ask for clarification on what you're saying. Don't berate them.
Honestly some developers need to learn a thing or two about code etiquette.
There's no room for good cop / bad cop behaviour.10 -
Anyone else notice this trend:
1. Don't go to uni / drop out (who needs education).
2. Get a job in IT, it pays well (who cares you don't have a structured logic).
3. Learn need-to-know stuff only (I only need to know my code).
4. Tell others they should get into programming, it's not that hard.
5. Get asked about the workings of a computer, but that's not in your domain of work. "I only code".
Millennial much ?13 -
Co-worker: I need a proxy to do this task.
Me: Why do you need a proxy?
Co-worker: So all these reviews for the company I'm posting don't look sketchy.
Me: Download the TOR browser.
Co-worker: That's kinda sketchy I don't wanna do that.
So falsifying information about the company is okay, but using a browser to do it anonymously is right out.1 -
"We need to get visitors age, gender and it would be nice if we could get city too.. can we pull this from the cookies so they don't have to enter the information on our site? How much info can we even pull, we need as much as we can get"
I literally kicked a wall when I received this message6 -
Client: I need this very complex feature
Dev : Ok, give me approx 2 weeks, this is new to me, have to do r&d.
Client: I can't give you 2 weeks, you have 2 days.
Dev: Somehow manages to complete in 2 days.
After few weeks.
Client's representative : What's the progress on the new features?
Dev: You haven't mentioned any new features yet.
Client's representative: I don't care, it's been weeks now, here are more complex features, I need them tomorrow.
😕12 -
I got this one from my senior PM, You...go to your seat and get me a software...that would create other Softwares for me...so that I don't need to have explain every time I need something to be built...to people like you...i will use that and build for my own. I told him...Sir you can use an IDE.3
-
Dear backend dev:
No data is not an error for fuck sake. Don't want 404, or messages if the search criteria filters out all values. Give me a empty array.
Is this hard to understand that we need a team meeting to discuss?
Godamit12 -
Worst part of being a dev: "we need this done by the end of the week"
Me: "ok what are the specifications?"
PMs: "not sure yet, we have a meeting with the client on Thursday."
Me: "cool, I'll look at it Monday."
Don't come to me with deadlines before you know what I'm building. -
F*** all this motivational/inspirational shit going on nowadays. We don't need cold showers, wake up 4:30 AM, or sacrifice time with loved ones just because our ego wants to be successful.
What if I don't want it, what if I just want to BBQ some chickens, drink Red Bull, and watch some Netflix shows until I die.
I don't want to own a Lamborghini, big apartment, live in a warm place with a nice view over the blue ocean, etc. This is just an illusional life-style story that every single person in the world wants, and the reason is so media and commercial companies can trick people to buy whatever they want.
I don't give a shit, we'll all die someday, I don't need these things in my life to make me feel happy or complete. I've seen people with everything, yet they commit suicide because the inner self is broken.
Just be happy with whatever you have, and stop going after things that won't really make you happy. The fact you have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hands to feel is worth billions in itself.
Wake up.19 -
Boss: Have you finished that feature?
Me: Almost there, i'm refactoring some classes...
Boss: What? Refactor? But thisnis a new feature, it does not need refactor! We don't have time for this!
Me: 😵🔫
This is what happen when you care about code quality.5 -
Application has had a suspected memory leak for years. Tech team got developers THE EXACT CODE that caused it. Few months of testing go by, telling us they're resolving their memory leak problem (finally).
Today: yeah, we still need restarts because we don't know if this new deployment will fix our memory leak, we don't know what the problem is.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING IN THE LOWER REGIONS FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS?!?!?! HAVING A FUCKING ORGY???????????????
My friends took the time to find your damn problem for you AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS???
It was in lower regions for 3 MONTHS and you don't know how it's impacting memory usage?!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO STILL HAVE A JOB? BECAUSE IF NOT, I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR FUCKING JOB IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIX THIS.
Every time your app crashes, even though I don't need to get your highest level boss on anymore for approval to restart your server, I'M GOING TO FUCKING CALL HIM AND MAKE HIM SEE THAT YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. Eventually, he'll get so annoyed with me, your shit will be fixed. AND I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR USELESS ASS ANYMORE.
(Rant directed at project manager more than dev. Don't know which is to blame, so blaming PM)28 -
My boss likes to measure the spacing between DOM elements using a ruler to make sure everything is proportional.
I forgot to remove some padding on an element so it wasn't exactly centered, so he comes in and says...
"the padding on the site is off, I think you need to use this" *drops ruler on desk*
Now I have to keep this stupid ruler on my desk because whenever I forget to align something he says... "that's why I gave you the ruler"
Too difficult to explain to these subhumans that I don't need a ruler to write proper css8 -
During a random meeting for a project:
PM: We'll need you to learn Go for this project. It says you know python in your job skills, so it should be easy.
Me: Uh, hiiii. I'm in security, not development. Can't help you, I really shouldn't even be here.
PM: I think Go has security built-in, does that help?
Me: ... I don't know, you need a developer.
PM: Do you know any Go people?
Me: I think that's something you should know.
- Silence enters the room -
PM: Yes perhaps, but you don't know anyone?
Fucking wat?8 -
Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
3. VM
4. FireFox
5. Visual Studio code
Fuck. This. Shit!
20 -
!dev
It's one of those nights again. It's so hot that I'm constantly sweating my fucking ass off and its near impossible to ventilate here. Fucking irritated for some fucking reason and questioning all my fucking life and work decisions yet again.
I don't fucking need this right now. Have to get up in 6 hours but oh boy is this going to be a long night.14 -
1825. Leaving work. Today sucks. My coworker is out and she normally does this weekly report. I need her. I don't like this.26
-
"Can you do this?"
Sure, give me the information I need...
"We don't have all of it yet"
So I can't do it then
"Well when can you do it"
When you get the information
"Do you need *all* of it"
Well, it's either I do half a job and waste my time, or get it all done in one shot
"The client wants it tomorrow"
When will we have the information?
"We don't know"
Well they aren't having it tomorrow then, are they...
Sales people... don't care *how* things work, as long as they get a tick against their name to show they've sold something...3 -
"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man3 -
Strating on a quite big project today because for one, it seems awesome to build it, two, i really need it and three: I don't think i have the skillset to pull this off so it's an awesome challenge/learning thing!
This will be the first time where I'll actually have to make a technical design first because otherwise it'll become a mess.
I'm both super excited and nervous 😁😅8 -
Developer: Changes are difficult from here, are you sure this is how you want it. 🤔
Client: yes. 👍
Developer: ((3;"'&}×π{sk*[=¶^[|) ☕😴
Client: Oh, actually can we have this too and maybe remove this bit because we don't need it now thanks. ☺️
🤐🙃🔫3 -
Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...
2 months later...
Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?3 -
Fuck project setups that
- Have huge nested enterprise folder structures like Java
- Use tons of shell scripts / makefiles
- Have every config file in the root folder
- Don't tell me what I need / how to build
I know some of these can't really be changed easily, but fuck this cluttery mess!25 -
I hate asking for help on here as this place is mostly not intended for that but fuck it for now, I need help on this one!
Installing Arch isn't working for me. Installing any other Linux system (debian or RHEL based) works great.
I've seen some things online about EFI files and so on but I honestly don't understand what that stuff is (about).
Help.15 -
Made the mistake of mentioning ISO27001 security standard near management.
- "What?? Why don't we have that certificate?! Why are you not thinking about this?"
- "We don't need it."
- "Of course we do! we must have the highest standards!! Lets hire some lawyers and security consultants to help us get certified!"
A week later:
"Ok, turns out we don't need it."
Satan give me strength...9 -
Invited by a company who desperately needed me to fix their messed up code and the reception lady talks crap and threatens me.
:(
Guess who is not replying to their emails ever?4 -
Here's a conversation I had at work:
Me: "this project that I've inherited, aside from the UI problems it has, it also has severe code problems that need to be fixed"
Project Manager: "I don't care about the code. The code is not my concern. Don't waste time on it and just make the app look good."5 -
What the PMs always say: Always be thinking of ways to improve our system.
Me: Hey this is really poorly built. We should rebuild it before moving forward.
PMs: No just use the same code we used before. It was working so we don't need to rebuild it.4 -
"It's just a tiny change in one function. What can go wrong? I don't need to test, I'm not that stupid to mess this up". Apparently I am. Pushed the changes, and the [Firefox] extension basically stopped working. Lost about 1.5k users in 2 days. Good times ;)2
-
Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.2
-
Client: we need a big data implementation in AWS to be fully HA and DR.... Money is no object
*3 weeks later when the bill comes in *
Client: its too expensive we don't need this HA stuff we don't even know what it stands for anyhow so can you take it out? But the system still needs 24/7 availability....2 -
Co-worker - "We need to have this added just like this, you should be able to do that right, it looks easy"
Me - "HA we'd have to redesign the whole architecture to make that work, and you still can't even figure out how to take a screenshot after I've showed you 20 times, so maybe don't tell me how easy something does or doesn't look"3 -
Interviewer: Sell me this pen
He: Hey do you want to buy this pen ?
Interviewer: No
He: You might need it to write stuff
Interviewer: No, I don't need it.
He: Ok, no problem.. Bye
Interviewer: What are you trying to do?
He: Trying to be a part of a company that doesn't sell stuff to people they don't need or want ..
Interviewer:
He:
Interviewer: Please give my pen back..5 -
What really matters about being a developer is how you use your skills, you can know lots but you need to be creative and open-minded.
Don't use your skills for stuff like this, with great power comes great responsibility, don't abuse your powers to give people camcer
2 -
This is the problem with big media, they overplay all the news and buzz words. Like wtf why is there a fucking robot. And you don't need an ai to stop people from sharing passwords
14 -
Oh God, oh fuck!! My bank!! That I don't bank with. It's DIsaBlEd!!!!! OH GOD OH FUcK MY MONEY!!! This is terrible, take my password!!!!! Have it!! I need to RESET THE DAMAGE OH GOD
5 -
Dev: The requirement is not clear. This seems to be a general usecase which you are thinking we might need but we won't actually need it.
Manager: You have to do it. This is the requirement. No other option. Don't ask any questions.
...... One week later....
Manager: Why is the team not open to me?1 -
JIT Learning. Just in time Learning. You Don't need read a book from cover to cover. YAGNI. Many technical books talk about topics that you might never need in your career. Focus on what you need to know after making a plan for what you want to achieve.
YAGNI applies to coding as well. Don't create a class or a method just because you Might need it later. Create them only when necessary. This keeps your code cleaner and there is less to test.4 -
CTO: Research, problem analysis, customer need validations, and data based prioritisation is stupid.
Me: So, then why should we solve this problem?
CTO: Because my team invests a lot of time in here (read "because we build a shitty system in past without thinking and we are doing it again").
Me: I don't see this as a good idea.
CTO: I become emotional when I request product to align and they don't. We must solve this problem and not what customers want.
Me: I am not participating here.
CTO: And I want you to work on weekends to support my team.
Me: *disconnects*3 -
I need to stop doing this,
"Fk I have this, this, and this due tomorrow. Well time to implement this cool new thing I found yesterday in my personal project. *2am* okay if I sleep for 4.3 hours and then..."
Why don't I just do required stuff first so I don't have to stress?!1 -
A recipe for COMPLETELY hacking me off - ask for help, pretend my advice is bollocks, then rephrase it as your own and follow it up with a smart arse comment.
"Almond, could you lend me a hand with this regex? I'm trying to match this particular group, but only if it doesn't have 'foo' after it."
"Sure, take a look at negative lookaheads - that sounds like it's exactly what you need"
"Nah that won't work for me, because I need to check for more than one character after it, I need to check for 'foo'"
"What? That doesn't make sense, you can..."
"Ah don't worry, I've found the answer by myself now, I can actually just add '?!' before the text I don't want to match and it'll do it - I'm fast becoming a regex expert here! Let me know if you want me to explain this to you"
DAHHHHHHH THAT IS A NEGATIVE LOOKAHEAD YOU CRETIN2 -
I need to share this with someone:
I've been using this app for months, maybe an year, without contributing cuz I didn't have anything really valueable to say.
Generaly, my girlfriend and family work at the beach in summer and they need my help but than again I can find the perfect career starting intern which will be worth perspectively at that time.
Why the fuck is my family doing this to me. They obviously need help but I am delaying my career for two years now because of that but after all, family is my treasure and it's more valueable than a career, there will always be internships but what stops me from spending a decade more and still be making the same mistake, but if I don't go I might break up with my gf and mess family things even more I don't want that, what would you do ?24 -
So we have Oncall system. Every month I get one working weekend.
Now senior engineers and lead are assholes. They think they can bully us. They are putting their Oncall work on our heads.
I refused to do it. But my partner in Oncall agreed to take up their weekend Oncall and in return they would do our weekday. I don't see how that is fair enough.
I refused to do it still. My partner apparently ended up doing it alone this weekend.
I don't FUCKING need to lick anyone's ass here! I don't FUCKING need to do these things to be in their good books! Waiting for the time when I saw GOODBYE TO THESE FUCKING ASSHOLEZZZZ4 -
Tuesday.
Director: we need to add our partner's project to our ci pipeline
CTO: we need to add ci to this repo, it should work via this tool (not the one we use now)
PM: we need to use this new tool, figure it out until Friday
TL: we need to move all our projects to this new ci tool, don't ask, the task is given by CTO
Me: okay
Friday.
Me: everything is ready except for this one old project
TL: we couldn't use it for one of our projects
PM: we had difficulties with the new tool
CTO: we couldn't add our partner's project to the pipeline
Director: *gives me a warning for being incompetent*1 -
CEO: This project is of critical importance to us - anything you need at all to help make it happen swiftly, let us know and my team will be on it.
Hey, could you give us IntelliJ ultimate licences?
THAT IS A RIDICULOUS REQUEST DON'T YOU KNOW EVERY PENNY COUNTS HERE6 -
Does anyone want to take this stupid exam for me? I keep missing it on practice exams by 1 question. I'm sad. I know if i gave a damn about this material, i could do it. But i don't give a damn. It's required for my current position but I'm about to switch teams in a few months and will no longer need it.24
-
I don't know how i should feel about this....
Honestly only reason i am on FB is bcd i need to use Messenger....
13 -
The website of the italian post service is "closed" between 23:45 and 00:15, everyday.
I don't know if something like this happens in other countries...
And do you know when I really need to access it?
ALWAYS IN THESE 30 MINUTES, not the others 1.410 of the day!
P.S.
What do you think, what could be a valid reason to "close" a web service?
I thought about backup, but other services don't have this problem.
4 -
This is what I love about fellow devs - they know what's best, you don't need to ask something like "please keep adding xyz to your post so we can see if it...". We just do it. :3
1 -
>teacher: you need to enable your webcam so i can tell you aren't cheating
>me: sorry but i'm on a desktop pc, i don't have a webcam
>t: what do you mean? every computer i've seen has a webcam!
how do i explain this to him?
(for context he's like 60)7 -
Just saw a job ad for a company they were asking for one developer they wanted software developer x 7 and senior developer x 2.
How cheap is that? If you want to hire people do so but don't bundle them up, the description for what is required is funny too, I love how companies don't even know any standard way of asking for a specific role just blurt you need this this and this senior is that plus knows how to lead, cool.
Is this really a real requirement: "Visual Studio experience"?
Or is this just some piss take?2 -
Episode 3 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/871827/...
Me: So I'm going an API call to Mastercard but they don't give us back CreditCard token to save.
Provider: Ya man you need to curl a request in your code to get the token...blahblahblah.... man you need to know these things they are not an easy things to be done, just paste curl code on MasterCard website into your code and it will work
Me: *ignores his shit talk and proceed to test*
*5 minutes later*
MasterCard Server: error.cause=INVALID_REQUEST&error.explanation=Invalid+credentials.&result=ERROR
Me: *calls provider and tell him*
Provider: Oh sorry, we need to enable this feature for your account.
devRant people please, give me one reason why I should not leave this field, and maybe also leave this life knowing there are this type of people alive.
Thank you :)2 -
Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......
Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.5 -
So I duel boot because I need Ubuntu for some things and Windows for others. (I run some robot sims that don't play well with VM)
This pops up, grub vanishes, and can only boot to windows.
Good news is I have all the important stuff backed up to git.
Guess I know what I'm doing this weekend.
1 -
On chat today.
Dude: can you run a script for me? We don't have permission.
Me: what kind of script? Who wrote it?
Dude: posts screenshot of DML select/update statement he tried to run.
Me: I'm a DBA. We don't run DML for people.
Dude: Oh. Can you give me the password?
Me: examine script and notice he tried to run it on QA DB.
Me: No. We don't memorize passwords, and this is QA; you need to check the password out of the safe. You also need a change ticket to DevOps, and they will run it for you.
At that point I ended the discussion, because running anything in QA or Prod without a change ticket gets you fired. And I like my job. Really annoyed.3 -
I just bought a USB mobile power pack... Here my thought:
-It's on sale!
-But do I really need it?
-.... Will I could give it to my dad if I don't...
-but what it's it been... Chinese products are cheap...
-this isn't cheap... It's just on sale!
-hm....
-you know you'll need it.. at the rate my phone's battery gets used in a years time it won't be able to leave half a day...
-hm....
-cmon only $21 hrs left... this is a steal... It's only 15$....
-ah ok.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
*After buying**
It's not too late to cancel.... Should I cancel?11 -
PM1 : "we need to implement this feature"
After days of development.
Testing time
PM2 : "My recommendation is that we don't need this feature"
:/1 -
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY IT IS HARD TO GET A JOB AS JUNIOR DEV? This is because you don't need any knowledge about coding to get the fucking degree!!
I would love to work harder but it should meen something if you own the fucking paper!
Sorry got triggerd after reading another rant!8 -
// First rant
currentUser.Post(new Rant("
Quick question here, not a rant (sorry).
I heard that you need a lot of math knowledge to become a developer. Is this really true? I don't see where the math comes into play while programming (especially complex stuff). I've been studying C# for quite some time (few years) and I consider myself fairly good at it.
Never came across the need to use !basic mathematics in my projects.
I know that to study computer science at an university requires a certain result in maths, but is that all you need math for? Getting into uni?
Could somebody explain this for me? I'd really appreciate it.", "maths,university"));14 -
Place: Microsoft, Visual Studio department
Boss: we need to make beautiful changes, and make the development process more simple and beautiful.
Employee 1: let's arrange error messages to be more readable.
Boss: no, I don't need any details of error, just say there is an error.
Employee: But..
Boss: This is genius, do it now.
Me: 😭
2 -
why do i have an iphone?
well, let's start with the cons of android.
- its less secure. this isn't even arguable. it took the fbi a month or something (i forget) to break into an ios device
- permission, permissions, permissions. many of the android apps i use ask for the not obscure permissions.
· no, you don't need access to my contacts
· no, you don't need access to my camera to take notes
· no, you don't need access to my microphone to send messages
· no, you don't need access to my saved passwords to be a functioning calculator
- not being able to block some apps from an internet connection
- using an operating system created and maintained by an advertising company, aka no more privacy
- i like ios's cupertino more than material design, but that's just personal preference
pros of ios:
- being able to use imessage, at my school if you don't have an iphone you're just not allowed to be in the group chat
- the reliability. i've yet a data loss issue
- the design and feel. it just feels premium
- if i could afford it, ios seems like a lot of fun to develop for (running a hackintosh vm compiled a flutter app 2x as fast as it did on not-a-vm windows)
so that's why i like iphones
google sucks55 -
"Hey, I need a website making.."
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF.
"I can't believe you're turning away work.."
As if I don't have enough shit to deal with without this douchebag. -
This right here is all I need to remind me that I don't want to work for anyone but myself anymore. These whiteboard interviews are so pointless and stupid.
https://theoutline.com/post/1166/...
9 -
Potential client: "We need this project done, but don't have much of a budget. But, if it's successful, could result in a lot more work."
If you want me to invest in your company, offer stock.
FFS.4 -
NO, YOU ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING GREMLIN OF A JS HTTP CLIENT, I DON'T WANT YOU TO "JsOn.StRiNgiFy" MY PAYLOAD OR DOING ANY WEIRD SHIT
I NEED TO SEND THIS THING EXACTLY AS IT'S WRITTEN, STOP TRYING TO GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO I'M A DEV WITH SOME 7 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE WRITING CODE, I'M SENDING A STRING CUZ I NEED TO SEND A STRING2 -
My social life consists of spending much of my free time with my girlfriend, seeing my close family on weekends and meeting with a few friends from time to time.
It's enough for me and since there's not much of it, it isn't hard to "balance". Whatever that means.
Seriously tho, "social/work life balance" is subjective. It depends on what you need to feel good and happy. What works for some will not work for others. Don't try to push others into being social when they don't want to. Don't give me that "you need to go out more" crap. I don't. I'm fine just like this. I prefer to stay home and see a movie with my girlfriend.
That "people need to be social" mindset made me feel bad about myself for too long because I'm just not like that and people keep pushing that idea into my head. I'll go out with you when I feel like it, don't push it. Stop asking me every fucking weekend ffs.2 -
When your boss want's you to rewrite your licensing software because they need it to have a trial version... When I asked them in the beginning they told me 'No, we don't need that'....
Fuck me this is going to take me at least some minutes... I hate people3 -
!rant
Who in their right mind puts an id on the head tag.
Css? Don't need it.
JavaScript ? Can directly access it anyway
It fucking breaks old browsers your not even giving them a chance to look at least average !
This is for a huge site as well that he got to work on because he is related to the owner .. he's an arrogant prick as well ... Don't know shit bout programming anything4 -
I'm taking a vacation in two weeks to hopefully recover from this burnout. I don't know if I can make it that long.
I've been trying to work on a ticket for the past two days. I don't even know what the ticket says. Just something about optimizing the Google pay object api. idk. I just can't. I need to have it done today though. Bleh.7 -
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
...
I am currently facing a client from hell. I don't even wanna write down the shits she is giving us. This lyrics are just prefect for my scenario.6 -
So I'm tasked with rewriting the old software my employer uses to track basically anything in his company. They want to stick quite close to the old workflow as much as possible, I get that.
"Why exactly do you need access to the system? No you don't need to look at it just recreate the flow. I'll give you the sql structure is that OK? Oh and this won't take long, you can copy from the old code can't you? Wait why do you need access to the code? No. "
🙄7 -
Random talk with a colleague:
-How familiar are you with oop concepts?
- I don't need that, I will make my life easier instead. They say "the" Java is faster though.
-Faster from which lang?
- C.
Me: Aw shiet.
Can't believe who I share this precious air with.7 -
I really don't like billing time for things I am not really sure how to do and need time to educate myself on. This happens more often than my wallet is comfortable with and I spend more time learning than making money. How do you go about staying in an estimate or fixed budget when something comes up that you don't know anything about?7
-
A: "Mate, do the translations"
B: "Fine, but you guys implemented the translation service so repetitively..."
A: "No, this is not repetitive, that's how we need to do it"
*sigh*
PS: Whenever I call the "trans" method, I think of transgender, don't ask why
4 -
It happened only once, when browsing all those websites and see their products online I was like:
I need to do this, I need to have a website and product online how cool would it be?
And here I am 14 years later and dream came true 🙂
Don't know if that counts for this week rant though -
Tuesday**
PM: can we have this site hosted by Friday..?
Me: I'll try but I need all the information about their organization
Wednesday**
PM: *sends half of the info I need
Thursday**
PM: how far have you gone..? I want us to host tomorrow
Me: I still don't have all the information I need3 -
"Ok, so if you want this thing to show up here you need to set this property, ok?"
Client: "Ok, but how about I just don't and complain that it doesn't work?"3 -
Is it so much to ask for ability to do my job remotely. I work on a fucking computer, I can do this shit at home. I don't need to drive 50 miles there and back to do my job.
Flexibility is a thing.4 -
The president and manager where I work always say: "We have to defy the status quo". But when I say "we don't need to do that in this way, we can do it this way which is more efficient". Then they say, "We can't because we have to do everything in the same way". You are just making yourself look stupid.
-
Me:To my new boss I think its fare we adopt version control for the project we working on.
Boss: No need just do what we hired you for.
Me:Its my second day of work and don't know how this will play out
Am beginning to dislike this boss he still sticks to old practices4 -
Found this on prod
Don't know who did this but wwhhhyyyy do you need to add foreach loop😅
Just add directly
8 -
Some motherfucker pulled the entire fucking Lodash library off a CDN so he could use one fucking function.
Buddy, the library is open source, you can just copy the relevant code off Github
This is why websites are slow as fuck, devs import shit they don't need3 -
I've been away from devRant (and other social media) for a few days because I thought i needed to concentrate on a project that I'm currently working on.
I just realized that I need this, I really need to rant! There is just too much to rant about. Like how fuckin annoying tomcat is, (don't ask me, someone is paying for me to use it), or how eclipse is happily hugging over 1gb of my ram, ( again don't ask), meanwhile vscode is doing just the same thing (debugging a tomcat server) with less than 300mb! There's so much to be annoyed about that I truly don't know how I was getting along before devRant.2 -
I like my work, don't get me wrong, but any time I need to work with this fucking 12 years old project that has so many conflicting branches, css that remembers float layouts, half of the files not being tracked, ruby dependencies that are a decade outdated I just want to quit.1
-
Yay! I still don't get how I did this lol
Time to practice some more! (If you've got any good tutorials or projects let me know! I need the practice lol)
6 -
I think I have ranted about this before but holy fuck why are non-technical people obsessed underscores??
NO, you DON'T need to replace all the spaces in the name of your Excel file just because you're sending it to a programmer.5 -
User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.3 -
"We don't need to design this page, we'll just wing it in dev. It's not an important page."
result: 47 jiras about choice of fonts, alignment, padding, missing images that were never provided, how it looks shit on mobile and can we make it black instead?1 -
Calling All Developers!
This is very very random, but I am taking an IT Careers class for my software Development degree. As my last assignment, I need to interview a software developer. I don't know any personally and we were told we can reach out to people online who have had lots of experience. I don't know if this is too weird, but I need an interviewee just to answer about 20 questions. I'm so stuck and don't know where to go!6 -
One of the devs didn't show up to stand yesterday, remote or in person. Turns out he was in the hospital for seizures.
They asked me this morning to work Sunday and I said no. It's not worth the money and I'd rather have the weekend. I don't need to be prone to seizures to know that this level of work is deeply unhealthy.1 -
I was in a good mood until I read this weeks dev-question. I'm now having an existential crisis. Why do I do this? What's the end goal here? I don't know what my biggest dev career dream is. Maybe I should get a dog and live in the mountains. I think, I need another moment...5
-
PR comment: You don't need this useCallback and this useMemo, it's premature optimization, this component will not have a lot of rerenders anyway.
*remove it and merge it*
Few weeks later...
Slack message: why the app is so slow???
*opens a PR putting back all "premature" optimizations*
PR comment: Hum... I don't think that's it, but let's try it.
*merge it*
*slowness is gone*
Slack message: wow! How did you figured out so quickly???
Me: I was lucky, I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2 -
Had annual appraisal meeting today. Been in this company for 2yrs now, after being hired outta college. It happens first after 2 years, then yearly.
I have long since known that my boss is a scumbag. My lucky college mates got assigned to great managers, leaders I must say, while I got the typical, know it all boss.
Now this racist, motherfucker, for reasons unknown to me, has mostly disliked me. But hey, the feelings mutual but I don't ever go busting his ass.
Previous employees eventually transferred locations or departments. But I stuck coz I respected some colleagues and learnt a lot from them.
Now this nutjob gave me a 2/5 rating. Says I need to improve my communication. I need to talk more. WTF you goatfucking cunt! I decide how much I wanna talk. I don't waste my time, and even if I did, I don't have any right to waste someone elses time. And talking about communication skills - BITCH! Everytime you speak something, I need like 2 mins to compile your jumbled fucking words in my mind to be able to comprehend what it is you wanted to convey. And you cunt! YOU are going to tell me I need to improve my communication. Dumbfuck I ain't no Shakespeare, but I can convey my message through.
Fucking peasant!
Hmm. The lemon tea sure is good today.4 -
Me: Could you please provide us with api key so we can add this feature?
Client's IT person: You don't need the api key to develop, their site has documentation so it's not a blocker. I will get you the api key when we are ready to go live.
Me: ... -
Consistent theme:
Me: hey, we should really do/use X
Someone above me: Nah we don't need it/we already use Y
1 week later (or less):
SAM: Hey, I was thinking maybe we should start using X
This has happened 5 different times already. 2 of them were security related and only talked about after our infosec guy brought it up.
Don't dismiss ideas your interns have just because we're interns, we might have good suggestions.4 -
>"We need this project finished for tomorrow"
<"But we don't even know what the client wants for parts X, Y and Z"
I'm currently in a sinking ship of a company that has no proper project management or documentation. Requirements mutate with the lead manager's biorhythms and all projects are delayed because he's incapable of scouting or retaining talent.
Unless I've misread their financial situation, I don't think they'll stay in business throughout the year without some major restructuring.2 -
I work as a .Net consultant. Currently I am at a company that blocks all sociale media sites and sites that look like 'em. I don't mind the social media, but YouTube is also blocked and I need my dose of daily epic music world while developing. So, I set up a proxy on my server to easily bypass these blockades. Note: company policy says nothing about not being allowed certain websites, I always read this before using this trick.
Last week, a new guy joined the company and gets a desk just next to me. After a lot of looking at my screens and trying stuff he asks me for the entire office: "Hey how are you going on YouTube? It doesn't see to work for me.". 😫
The rest of the day, I had to explain to co-workers what a proxy is (they don't care about any tech they don't need...). And I had to explain to the pm that I was not hacking their network...
I'm not sure if I will be getting along with this new guy.... 😧1 -
Canoncal.. buddy.. pal..
We need to talk about the content on the server image's login screen.
Now, I get that lots of developers will use the server image out of a desire to keep their environments minimal.. but at the same time, is the same server image that will be deployed on thousands of VMs all over the world really the place to be talking about "great IDEs available on Ubuntu" complete with smiley faces?
I'm dead serious I log in and there are fifty seven lines of crap on the screen. I don't need links to your docs or support pages, I definitely don't need cutesy links to "hey look at this cool stuff you can do on Ubuntu!", and I absolutely don't need advertisements for your paid services.
This is some of the tackiest stuff I've seen outside of Gitlab shilling for GKE in the paid enterprise version.
Stuff like this turns actual users off. Sysadmins, the ones who are going to be seeing this stuff since it's visible on SSH shells only do not care about your cutesy IDE advertising.
Grow up.
3 -
Why is every innovation trying to go towards "replacing programmers"? like, what have we done to you?
GitHub CoPilot will replace programmers!
AI will replace programmers!
This/That tech will replace programmers!
Nobody says,
"Programmers work remote so we don't need to hire managers anymore!"
"Programmers wrote a monitoring script for progress tracking, so no need for managers anymore!"
"We are asking people to install sprinklers everywhere so we don't need firefighters!"
"We can just have one teacher record the subject material once and re-use the same video every year, so now we don't need to hire teachers anymore!"
"We are making everything legal so we don't need to hire policemen!".
Why is everything trying to replace programmers?8 -
I have ordered 60 Liters of Cola twice this month.
I don't like the taste of Coffee but need the Coffeeine :D12 -
Weekly status reports. BITCH, I'M TOO BUSY WORKING TO TELL YOU WHAT I DID THIS WEEK.
Mine are also almost always the same:
"fixed broken thing"
"worked on reports for broken thing"
"helped new teammates fix broken thing"
ISSUES REQUIRING ATTENTION:
"my connection is still shit, like i warned would happen before I moved"
"need workstation already connected to network to reduce connection problems"
These don't help the people who need to be micromanaged, and they just piss off those of us who don't.5 -
How many of you feel you learn something on the job?
As for myself, I learn much more from books than sitting day in, day out at work, doing more or less of the same things.
To me, this whole trial-and-error way of 'learning' is not really learning. I don't subscribe to this dogma. I don't 'learn' by messing up and fixing something. I need a full specification of why something works, when and how. I'm not satisfied by just being a code plumber.
This, next to the fact that most jobs in small startups don't provide a budget for you to expand your knowledge.5 -
"This is now urgent we are in risk of breach of contract."
*travels an hour just to discuss*
"Oh don't worry, don't panick about it, so and so is probably sorting it. We most likely don't need it."1 -
Wow even my laptop pulled an April Fool's....I hope.... Seems all my USB ports have died.... Need to restart....
This is a pretty lousy prank...I don't wanna restart....1 -
I'm so fucking done with all the hate the modern web is getting. If you don't need it, don't use it. Shut the fuck up if somebody else uses it, because he needs it.
And that whole war between libraries is so fucking ridiculous. Why do I have to feel bad for using a tool that does exactly what I want, and provides me a great dev experience.
No I am not going to use a stack of 4 technologies because "native is faster". Fuck you. I don't care, and you shouldn't either.
I shouldn't even have the need to rant about this, but I'm just in this constant rut, because I feel like no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong. I hate it.4 -
FUUUUUCCCKKKK!!! I WASTED 2 WEEKS ON A PROJECT BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET THE RIGHT SPECS UNTIL THIS MORNING.......
I SPENT THE LAST 2 WEEKS BUILDING AND TRYING TO GET THINGS TO WORK THAT I DON'T NEED....2 -
I'm the lead dev on this team. The project is split into multiple separate modules to comply with separation of concerns, and so new devs don't need the whole fucking codebase (risking them running away with everything) to contribute to the project as a whole.
So we don't need a fucking config file to enable and disable features.
So we don't need to upload a 500mb monolith every time we want to test a change.
So we can test old fucking versions of modules without merging it back into the entire codebase.
What did this fucking dev do? He was having one small issue with Maven. One. It wasn't updating his local snapshots to the correct Artifactory version.
He decided, instead of trying to fucking fix it: HEY, LETS IGNORE THE LEAD DEV'S DEMAND TO KEEP THEM SEPARATE. IM GOING TO MERGE THEM INTO ONE MODULE FOR SOME FUCKING REASON.
I refuse to continue working with this dev if he's going to sidestep my demands and undermine my authority. He wants to go it alone? Be my fucking guest. I'm not touching his shitty single-codebase monolithic monstrosity.
If this is going to be a regular fucking occurrence, he can eat a dick and choke on it.2 -
We have gotten an email saying we need to use our Teams channel to place our food orders less. A random colleague then goes to the local supermarket and buys the food orders. This group chat has around 15 people that often need something from there. If you don't need it, you ignore the channel.
So we need to use it less. So we follow the orders and now we privately message everyone for their orders. Talk about a real "time gain" :D2 -
Wow. That's a new level of ratings.
Just read ratings like these below an ascii cam app(which works like it should):
"This is just a camera witu a mosaic filter, that's why you can't save the pictures as ascii"
"This is not real ascii because you can't save it as .txt or .html"
I don't think i need to say anything. -
---Me coding away---
ESLint: Hey...
ESLint: Hey... don't-
ESLint: No I think-
Me: Not now bro! This is fine, I need to get this done.
---Months later I go back to clean some things up and I look to see what ESLint has to say----
ESLint:
4 -
Mobile developers of the world. Hear my words. Two things: 1. Why is every mobile site nowadays specifically geared to being as nonfriendly to mobile devices as possible? You should probably remember that mobile devices are resource constrained much like early 00s PCs. Maybe we don't need the full HD 3 megapixel version of the image. And we definitely don't need those full screen scroll ad things. In fact, I am 100% less likely to purchase their product if you include these. Which sucks because Hidden Valley salad dressing is pretty good, but now I have to settle for Wishbone.
2. Maybe you don't need to gamify everything. (Looking at you Waze). Or maybe don't give points to everyone who has ever posted about that red light cam outside of my work. It has been there for thirty years. I don't need to be reminded 80 times because someone wants imaginary GPS points. Yes I realize the irony of posting about gamification on a gamified site. I am fine with this.2 -
Work in the morning and here we are devRant, we have to quit doing this to ourselves. We need to take a break. I'm sorry, but you have consumed my life. The chuckles, feed refreshes, and +1s will be but treasured moments I have with you. Wait.. Who am I kidding? I need you! Don't leave, I'll stay with you forever.1
-
There are a lot of things I don't understand in life, but the fact that I need to press tab three times in xcode to select the item in the popup tooltip is just ... I don't know fucked up?
I have a var called: isItemSelected, I need to press tab three times for it to use this option while in all other IDEs I used if it is highlighted then one FUCKING PRESS ON TAB BUTTON SELECTS THE HIGHLIGHTED SHIT !!
Fucking Apple shit -.-1 -
"I'm a cook. I have a lot of experience... so, don't question me there - but I have this one question: I have some food. I need to make it hot. What library can I use to make hot? Please help. I'm on a deadline."13
-
Client: I need you to integrate with this API.
Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?
Client: what do think we should do?
Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*
Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...
Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.
...now at the market stocking up on redbull2 -
Dev, boss and guy who know logic is looking at the server.
Problem: it's not responding
Boss: we need this running now! Otherwise the sales won't go through
Dev: give me a chance, I just got here
Guy: have you tried turning it off and on again?
They did so and at works.
Boss: guess we don't need to hire another dev, this guy knows what he is talking about, he is some kind of server expert..
Really.........1 -
I will never understand why my university is requiring me to take upper level physics. I understand the need to understand electricity and circuitry but this semester has been mostly quantum and I don't see how this will apply to development.9
-
senior: we have no reason to change/mutate this property, we don't need a setter method, just set it once in the constructor
also senior: there's no reason to change/mutate this value, but i want you to write a setter method for it3 -
"So what we're going to do is sign you up for this basic training we think you need despite your years of proven experience and certifications and a four year degree directly related to the type of training don't count"1
-
I just installed voidlinux and daaaamn this shit is good. Its so lightweight and fast :3
And I don't even need the AUR to install i3-gaps. Its in the fucking main repo.
Now I'll just shut the fuck up and continue experimenting3 -
Damn, help me guys. Tomorrow I'm invited to a "friends" party.
Don't want to go, but have to. I hate partys. I hate all this shit, alcohol, drunk people. Have to stay there for at least 6h, until 1am or so. I hate drinking alcohol, doing stupid alcohol drinking games.
And I don't like this friend. I don't have much contact with him in the last few months. I thought he would understand that I don't like him. But no - he never lets me alone. Don't want this.
Let me fucking code - I want to have my free time, let me alone. Don't need that friends. The school mates on my apprenticeship are good enough for me, they are friendly, thinking the same way and don't drink alcohol all the time.
I hate this. Damn. Hopefully I will survive this fucking party. Maybe I can browse devRant half time of the party.
Am I the only one who doesn't need all that shit? Partys, alcohol, social interaction all the time?19 -
As many here might be aware, the new RTX series dropped! With this, a lot more performances… and a lot more power consumption
At this rate you'll soon need a dedicated grid to power this shit. This is pissing me off, as we're not living in times of energetic abundance. Prices of fuel skyrocket due to the situation in Eastern Europe, and we need more than ever to find alternative energy sources that don't mess our planet further up. So the last thing we need is some piece of computer hardware that chugs near as much as a fucking vacuum cleaner
There's a petition treating of that with more details, if you agree this is a problem, it would be awesome if you could sign it and share it everywhere you can
https://chng.it/hGkcvHpdY87 -
I really hate this disgrace of a burnout.
Seriously.
Who can live with this thing crippling your energy?
This guy that comes to a ride but you only realize after 3 hours driving.
You came this time? When I fucking need to do hundreds of things on my life and for my clients?
Now I gonna spent my fucking MONEY and my fucking TIME to make this sucker less present.
Because doctors aren't cheap, nor changing my diet.
At least I can handle my clients. And tell them that some personal things came up.
But family?
They don't give a shit.
Specially when you are a guy that they love to tell you to work a 'regular' 9 to 5 but love even more your salary. Because you don't work a regular 9 to 5 job!
And I think that's more messed up.
Don't having a fucking support is frustrating. -
::This app says you need at least 3GB RAM.
::> delete everything there, I don't need anything.
:: uaaaaa.... you can't (long pause... ) do that.
::> I don't need anything from the laptop, delete everything and make the app run.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (he had 2GB ram)1 -
Sysadmin and an ex-employee couldn't fix an issue with an application for many months even with vendor's instructions.
Today the job is passed to me and I follow instructions exactly and resolve the issue.
The other two guys must have thought 'we don't need someone else's documentation, we can fix it ourselves'
This is not the first time something like this has happened. I guess some things just need a fresh perspective. -
PM: we need to develop this awesome feature in our app since there are lot of other people who are providing this.
ME: what is the use case in our app and what exactly is the requirement here?
PM: I don't know 😎
ME: seriously 🙄 -
Do we have, as developers, some social networks, that could help us to find a companions for developing apps. I don't mean such things like GitHub, where we operate with Open Source software. But, for example, I have an idea, but I'm alone and need more developers to implement this idea. So I need to find those guys who wouldbe ready to join me. Do we have such a communities? Don't you know?2
-
got first assignment on my first meet on Network Security. it require to pentest one unsecured specified website. yet they don't tell me shit about anything just try it.
i need to :
1. Footprint
2. Scanning
3. Enumeration
4. Gaining Access (previledges raising?) (bonus)
suppose : <target-website> is x
i've done this:
1. whois x
2. got the ipaddress via :
host x
3. nmap -F ip.of.x
my head is already spinning, i need to know what BASICLY each of what i've done. i only get that 'whois' get the information about that domain, 'host' is used to know the target ip address and nmap to find what are the open ports. i don't know what else should i do. need help :(13 -
We are working with Windows server on our Application software class. This is the saddest moment in past few months. I proudly switched to a Linux and now I need to install this shitdows (only on KVM but still) ... Luckily we have sane teacher and we have to use shitdows just because he wants to teach us why we don't want to use WS 😂
7 -
So I've identified a key demographic that's excluded from social networks, by their very definition.
Misanthropes.
Misanthropic individuals need their own little area of the internet too.
I propose "MySpaceNowFuckOff.com" although this would probably result in a protracted legal battle. I'm open to name changes.
It would be a site for socialising with others like you, who don't actually want to socialize, where you don't get "likes" you get "disinterested acknowledgement", there isn't a share button but a "shame this idiot" button. And you don't have friends but a list of "people who haven't pissed me off... yet". -
Spilled coffee on my keyboard 3rd time this week.. guess who don't want to work and need a vacation1
-
Need to finish a demonstration ASAP as I'm already behind schedule.
(don't judge me ಠ_ಠ)
Start working, laptop restarts for fuck knows why and doesn't wanna log in.
Now this..
THANKS MICROSOFT!
5 -
Salespeople telling clients "Your site doesn't need a privacy policy/cookie policy since you don't actually sell anything on your site."
Wrong wrong wrong WRONGITY WRONG WROOONNGGGG!!!!!
Client to PM to me: "Well Jim said we don't need those on this site."
Me: "Well Jim is misinformed, since we use Google analytics, Facebook Pixel, and contact forms, you need to have both a privacy and cookie policy."
PM to client: "We'll find you a template you can use to get started, it'll cover most of what you need."
Me to PM: "we will do no such thing, we can send them a few links explaining why they need these, but they should consult a legal professional and cover their asses for their own business practices. I can provide any technical details they may need like what data the cookies collect if necessary."
PM to me: "well I'll just find something for them then."
*In my head* please just go crawl in a hole and die.4 -
Trying to make a deadline, waiting for more info from an analist so I can implement the science stuff correctly
Today I receive the email with the info I need. Email is cc'ed to the client. And it starts with complaining about me not having implemented the science stuff. The info I need is attached in this email. Arghgh, how am I supposed to do that if I don't have the information I need.
Apart from that she was testing in the production environment. How do you work with people like this.
But hey, I just got my devRant stickers ;) -
*Task too simple but says "discuss about it"*
*I'm weary of its simplicity, it seems deceptive*
Me: hey, about this thing to discuss, what about it? Is there something I need to know about that I don't?
Boss: read the code
*I'm now even more weary of the task* -
So if anyone is interested or has read or listened to The 48 laws of power....
https://youtu.be/pSWIVupPAKI
I'm 40 minutes in and at first I was in denial...
"No people are better than this now, we can transcend this kind of behavior and thinking, I don't need to act this way and follow the lessons in this book"
And now that I'm through a couple laws and I apply it to my marriage, friendships, my job, etc. I'm like SHIT this really is human nature isn't it....damn it.
I really need to start applying this book to how I approach life lol3 -
Okay I give up. I just don't get this docker networking stuff. I need someone to save me these sleepless nights and get on a call with me. A docker expert please. I am dying and my make believe devops engineer persona is crashing on me.15
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PMs are getting to me so much and ruining so much in this industry that I'm considering leaving it. I'm heavily considering teaching instead. I don't need someone who doesn't even hold a degree in a related field telling me what to do, giving me shit, and telling me I'm wrong. I have a masters in this, you assholes.8
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Ended up with 16.04 and 18.04 ubuntu in dual boot. (see last rant).
Fixed graphics issues on 18.04. The fix envolved setting stuff in grub. Ok.
Now we apparently need 16.04 again and can kich the 18.04.
np. Let me just boot my 16.04
oh look who has graphics issues now!
It boiled down to the grub settings. so Depending on if I need 18.04 or 16.04 I need to fiddle with grub. great.
And now we don't neet 18.04 at all. So I tried to do something not in the last minute once, and it backfired completly. Wasted 5h on this shit this week. Fk this.2 -
Did you ever had to integrate a fucking "API" that is done via mail bodies?
Fuck this shit! Who need responses about success or failure?! Guess this will take a long time to test this fucking piece of garbage... We don't get a test system, we need to test this with the production system of the other company. I hope their retarded application crashes when receiving malicious mails.
Not speaking about security, I bet everyone can send a mail to their stupid mail address and modify their data 🙈
And inside of this crap mail you also have to send the name, street and email of their company. Why do you fucking need this information?!1 -
i found playing with arduino is never-ending fun. and then i tried Raspi and feeling the same. now i buy a bunch of raspi and trying to cluster them up, just for another random project.
yeah this is clearly nonsense. this is myself when my boredom gets high enough. No, vacation is not helping, trust me i've been camping in a jungle for 5 days and the next week i go to the beach. this is bad.
making things worse, My way of life is like any ordinary people (or maybe a developers) but turned upside down for example I program, learning for fun, and going vacation is just another medical need that i need to follow.
I am an university student, studying IT. I've been programming since 6, and geeking anything around technology and astronomy till now. this is my third semester and i don't get challanged enough for this kind of curricullum. i need some kind of project that even i don't think about any number of money anymore, but just enough to challange me up. just need to get rid my boredom.
sorry for ranting from a to z, this is just buzzing around my mind. -
==============
Getting Feedback Rant!
=============
When "this is simpler" feedback results in a function of 500 lines of code.
When I get "don't do X" in the feedback. Thank you very much. What do you want me to do instead?
Unclear feedback.
When the feedback giver changes his mind after I applied the changes!
When applying the feedback introduces a bug.
Simply opinionated feedback that is not enforced by any tool or backed up by any facts.
Please find something better to do in life.
Unactionable feedback.
"Consider X"
I will not consider thank you very much.
"Verify this works"
Duh..
When the feedback giver knows something that you don't.
I know this is a legit case.. still annoying.
"I disagree with the feature"
Go argue with the PM, not relevant to me, thanks!
=====================
GIVING FEEDBACK RANT
=====================
I rewrote the system. Please review it.
No need to review, just approve.
I will change this as part of the next ticket.
I would like to keep it the way it is.
lazy ass..
You can't test this.
It's impossible to test this.
No need to test this.
There's no point to test this.
I'll test this on production.
Not sure why this is working..
Please document this..
Because documentation is like a thing, you know.
Oh, this code is not related to this PR, I just don't want to open a new branch for such a small change. ignore it.
Ignore this.
This will be meaningful in my next change. -
Me : Pls system, don't send too much data or you'll make the page explode.
System : *send a lot of data*
Me : Pls system, at least sent this variable, I need it and told you to send it
System : *sends everything but the data asked to be sent*
for f*cks sake5 -
Can we build a simple Ai for the app so reposts don't happen like a 🤔 are you sure you want to post this, it was already posted
It's easy with text but not with images you'd only need AI for the gifs2 -
@dfox This update is flawed podcasts need to be inside the app not a link to the side and I cant scroll down I don't know if it's my phone or not any1 experiencing this1
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10 Months ago i started with webdev. Before i never program at all, but i Fall in love. The only thing i hate about webdev is this.
dude:look at my Website?
me: how did you do this?
dude: i used 900000 frameworks. it was really easy.
me: ...
I know.. you don't need to reinvent the wheel, but if don't think about what actually happens, where is the fun??
i don't know if it is also the case in Software dev but i don't like the way it evolves6 -
I need to create a couple of websites real quick, mostly brochure style...
I don't normally do this, but, in this case, I have to.
I'm a programmer though, not a designer
What would you recommend for someone like me, that's fast, but reilable
All I can think of, is wordpress but that's a dirty word around here (for seeminglyg ood reason)
anything else?10 -
I gave a rant yesterday about this. But I have to say it again because it's so gratifying. It went like this
Me: "you should patch the module instead of using it for your python unit test."
Them: "You keep telling me this, but maybe there is a better way"
Me: "there is, I'm telling it to you"
Next day, Code review.
Me: "You need to change this"
... silent on the issue ...
On a call...
Me: "You need to patch the module. Don't mess up the namespace."
Them: "I don't think so, X did the work"
(In my head: then what did you do)
Me: "We can grab whoever you like Y, X. Let's see if X is busy"
... X isnt busy, hops on call 45 seconds later.
Me: "we're using the module, we should patch this'
X: Muses the thought for 2-3 seconds.
X: "yeah... Yeah we probably should patch that"
Moral of the story, don't take shit personally unless your right... Then relish in. But if your right and X says otherwise, you can always + a rant. -
Are rants against oneself allowed here? Anyway, instead of writing code based on half-assed guesses just FUCKING STOP and FUCKING THINK about the problem at hand! This way you don't have to bang your head against the keyboard. POOR KEYBOARD! Anyway, now it works and I need sleep.3
-
Hello ranters, I need some help because I want to make a portfolio for my curriculum vitæ and my experiences but I don't know if I should use a framework for this kind of little project.8
-
Nothing like client requesting "Hey can you add a virus scan for every goddamn file in the pipeline ? (We don't know what antivirus software you can use, neither do we know what are the consequences of this virus scan failing. We also don't know why a system admin is not doing this server wide instead of a software Dev doing it for this specific individual component. Heck we don't even know why do we need the virus scan in the first place) You might need to think 'outside the box'. Let's hope this is done by 12th Jan. Regards" on a Friday goddamn night
They probably even expect me to write my own antivirus software instead of paying for one
Why is industry like this ? Is there really any polite way to deny this ?15 -
I can't read a documentation 'til the end. I, on the first few parts, would be like: "Oh this documentation is so good. Why would someone need a tutorial for this?" And then suddenly: "What the fck is this sht? I don't understand life anymore." So I end up buying a course on Udemy cause all the other YouTube tutorials are rubbish.
-
Anyone else scared that this fucker can back flip now!?
https://youtu.be/fRj34o4hN4I
Anyone know any fuckers that work at BD? We need to get them reall drunk so they don't accidentally iRobot us.7 -
leaving work place > stay to finish important feature > on second thought we don't need this feature
-
Calling any Python programmer here (especially package maintainers)
I run Gentoo, so am responsible for maintaining the dependency tree (to a degree). When it comes to Python I have 2.7, 3.4, 3.5, 3.6 available. I'm always running into some package needing one version or another, and I can't just set a single version and forget it (which is fine. I'm running Gentoo).
I know that this is because python changes rapidly and so different libraries need different versions. Fine.
Why does this happen with Python and not C++, JavaScript, php, ruby, or any other languages on my system? I don't have 3 different versions installed to cover any other languages, and I don't spend time adding installation rules to cover them.
Why does Python need to be a pain in the ass about it?2 -
Somehow further back on this ticket than when I started. How does that even happen?
I went from okay I can replicate the issue and trying to fix it to now the data I need to replicate it won't even load. WTF?
I don't know
Senior doesn't know
Our boss doesn't know
3 seperate QAs don't know
Boss of QA doesn't know3 -
It's 2 AM, and I need to get to sleep.
I am not wanting to compile OpenCL for my Pi in the hopes that it helps this go any faster, but I also don't want to waist my time waiting for this to go.
My current dilemma.1 -
@dfox, there's still occasionally some weird stuff happening when my phone is on rotate. (Sadly I don't know how I did this.)
I'd be glad to help if you need anything from me.
10 -
This happened today !
Mom : Son, there is a python sleeping at the door, I need some help.
Me : Don't worry mom, I have anaconda, type conda activate and then python run. Matter is solved.
Mom : Anaconda ?? 🙄
Meaanwhile Me : Ohh shit, I need to rest 🤣2 -
My firm wants to use my personal blog as a platform to reach more people.
This is not something I want.
I don't know what to say, any tip to kindly answer such need?9 -
There's a simple issue with this opensource browser extension.. actually I think I can fix that real quick and submit a pu OH WAIT!!!
I booted to Windows partition and don't have any fucking dev tools/console/package manager to install what I need!3 -
is vagrant box VVV always this slow to up the first time? because I don't need most of this stuff and I could have started a WP environment by hand already.4
-
What the fuccckkkkk are webhooksss how do i write i
So im a intern at this company they told me to develop a chatbot using this dialogue flow and twilio and so i need to write an external webhook in asp to connect it with dialogue to perform some actions on databaseee
I don't why i cant figure this sshit out in super fucking dumb ugh13 -
not used to this on windows
Operation Successful...
Why do professors need .doc files? Pdf works too. I don't know how to use windows. Give me linux.
1 -
Have you ever worked in a place that's boring? Projects, coworker, I find them either uninteresting or dumb. I'm worrying in a way because this is removing every possible will to work on a side project from me.
I don't know if I need holidays, a new job, or both 😥1 -
-Learn git early on
-Learn the basics of the web stuff even if you only want to be a backend dev
-Learn SQL. 99.9% you'll need it regardless of where exactly you land in this industry
-Build, build, build, build. Don't get stuck in tut hell8 -
when CTO says we need to start writing exactly how long we worked on specific project and explain what exactly we did in that time.
I don't wanna keep track of my every minute spent..
I did not sign up for this sh!t...3 -
So as the only developer and maintainer of a CRM at work, the management finaly found a sysadmin to aid me on production side. This way i don't have to do maintenance during weekends. The new assigned sysadmin contacted me, telling me he needed the whole DEV repo & & DB so he could start improving the CRM. I blocked his request saying we need a meeting to set rules and concider if we need him as a developer. Note that management didn't inform me of his visit. After this, he sends a mail to management telling them i don't want to work with him???? I got a feeling that management wants to replace me, but i realy don't want to let go of this project. What are your thoughts on this situation? Should i stop guessing, and straight up confront them with my thoughts? Or see how things work out...
-
Rant to myself: Don't try to be too smart, you dipshit!
3 weeks ago I packed 2 small changes in one commit, because I was sure (and obviuosly lazy) that no one will ever need these special changes separate.
Guess what happened today? Right, I had to make a change on an old version and needed the one half of this commit.
Cherry-picking ended up in changes I don't need and furthermore some nice collisions.
Thank you very much, past me, for saving 2 minutes 3 weeks ago, which now wastes half an hour. -
I think I'm a good teacher, learner when it comes to Front-end development. I've been active on Stackoverflow, but this platform to help someone seems more decent (here you don't need to curse someone's code to help him/her) 😀1
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No we don't actually need to have a meeting about this because your architectural opinions rely on medium articles written by unemployed people pretending that these competing technologies are relevant. All you have to do is take an existing piece of code and rewrite it how you'd like to, and show everyone that it's better5
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A : Why don't we remove this feature ?
B : We might be needed in the future.
A : You have to stop think what we might needed in the future with our current state.
............
(After several conversation)
B : So, should we replace X with Z ? Since we only need the X
A : Don't, I can see we might use Z in the future.
:)1 -
reality: I saw null in the debugger here, causing the bug
add a null check
IDE: you don't need to check for null, this can't be null
what do you do when you can't trust the tools you work with5 -
Atm my face is like devrant's icon.
Tired (need some sleep)
Shit task to do.
Don't want to see colleagues face (even though I like them).
Internet not working (hence this rant on my phone through 4g).
Looks like some ppl will always get devs wrong.
:/




