Train conversation between 3 girls:

A: "Oh, I've got 4G.. "
B: "What, we have 4G!?"
C: "OMG I HATE 4G!"
A: "Yeah, it's almost as slow as E"
C: "I know, right?!"
.....
Kill me pls

So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)

C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
M: Browser?!
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?

----

And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!

Me: good morning, what can I help you with?
Client: I THINK REMOVED SOMETHING AND NOW ALL MY EMAIL IS GONE. HELP.
M: okay sir, do you have the domain for m....
C: HEY WAIT IT'S BACK NEVER MIND THANKS BYE
M: Oh tha....
*click*

😆

I delivered a small C# program long time ago.
Unit tests, integrations tests, functional tests, all passing (users even happy).

Colleague of mine approached me.

C: "I finally fixed the program"
M: "Which program?"
C: "Product X"
M: "What was wrong with it?"
C: "Nothing, but now it runs on Python"
M: "..."
C: "Yeah, we lost a few features, but it's Python!"
M: "Aren't you busy with other things?"
C: "That can wait"
M: "..."
M: "..."

Boss: we have a project, we will need an application on Mac with objective-c.

Me: But I am a Java developer, I never touched a Mac or objective-c !

Boss: it's ok, use Google, you will find some useful stuff there..

Me: But..

Boss: we have a week for a demo

Math: the imaginary unit is i.
Electrical engineering: no, it's j.
C hacker: hands off my loop variables!

Got assignment that needs to be written in C.
I write mostly Python.
It's ok i got it.

*after 5mins*
WHY THIS SHIT DOESNT FUCKIN WORK.
ah shit, i need to declare the variables.

Co-worker: "Should we keep this server up and running?"
Me: "Hmmm…"
C: "Do we have any other uses for it than the dedicated wiki?"
M: "Not really, and maybe it's time to move to the centralised platform Corporate™ introduced. Have we checked if anyone is using the server?"
C: "Good point, let me see…"
C: "… oh it's been down for last two weeks since the power outage."
M: "I think that answers the question. Let's leave it like this for a month more and if no one complains we can announce it dead"

Trying to concentrate. Co-worker from another room standing there, BLA BLA BLA, and she's fucking LOUD. But she hates coldness, and it's below 0 °C outside.

So I open two windows, and guess who instantly leaves! Now it's cold, but SILENT. HAR HAR!

I'm developing my "game engine" for over 2 years. 9 complete rewrite and 3 language change (c#->java->c++) but I love doing it. It's an amazing experience :D

I've got a mini stroke today. My project ended and I got delegated elsewhere.

"It's going to be fine, it's c++, you will find yourself there"

Suspicious, it's a project everybody was staying out of as hard as they can. But hey, it's cool, how bad can it be? what can go wrong with that?

Reality was brutal, project that uses Boost C++ as framework and bjam as builder. Builds with a decent dose of luck, and only under special circumstances, only under one specific version of compiler. No docs, quartet of the code is in Fortran, just to use ancient lisp part which was second qarter. The most senior Dev around does not have idea how it all works. Also everything is inside one enormous try/catch block. Because of the reasons.

That's how people end up with severe alcoholism and meth addiction.

Flashback to when I was in 7th grade

Art teacher: Taco, your focal point is wrong
Me: *looks* ....no it's not
Art teacher: *looks* ...oh, you're right

Fast forward to c++ class

Prof: Taco your calculation is incorrect
Me: *looks* ....no it's not
Prof: *looks* ...oh, you're right

Internship has taught me that as long as you know one good language then you can do anything in other language with a little bit help from online.

Unless it's c++.

c++ has pointer.

That means you're fucked.

That also means you're in for a lot of fun.

It pains me that Google Now pronounces C# as "C hash".

Perhaps it's their subtle way to annoy Microsoft developers...

So, my lab mate tried to mansplain to me that Python is faster than C/C++.
It took all my self control not to smack him in the face with a chair.
Using Numba means it's no longer interpreted as Python, so it doesn't count.

!rant but recommendation:
"JavaScript: The Good Parts" Douglas Crockford.

I really like this book.
It's chewed away my misconceptions of JS. Especially coming from C++.

Small and precise.
JSON, JSLint and JSMin developer is the author.

On my annoying radar today - devs who learn one language and then *insist* on using it for everything, even when it makes absolutely zero sense.

"Ooh I'd like to do some microcontroller development. But I only know Java. How do you run Java on a microcontroller?"

"...You don't."

"...but I heard a talk where someone did it. Look, there's this microjava page. How do I use it?"

"It's an interesting technical demo, but that's it. Dude, just learn C. It's not hard, Java has C style syntax anyway and this way you can...."

"...but I only want to use modern programming languages. C is irrelevant these days, it's pointless me learning it."

"It's definitely still relevant if you want to program a microcontroller."

"...but I want to do that in Java."

🤦‍♂️

"Isn't that Java?" - bypassing stranger who happens to look over your shoulder when you're coding in public.

when it's 36*C / 97*F in the city and you pack your laptop into your backpack and flee on to the swiss alps. To work on a new website at a beautiful landscape, on green meadows, cows and agreeable 18*C / 64*F.
And getting payed for this... This is life!

Not sure what triggers me more:

a) the fact that nowadays no one can type/spell without auto-correct
b) that this passed code review
c) that no one corrected it in 12 months since it's been committed

Hi, my name is Juan, I'm 17 years old. I started programming when I was 12 years old (I started with Visual Basic 6) and I'm from Venezuela. A friend, named Javier, recommended DevRant, and I think it's a fantastic idea. I'm an inveterate lover of UNIX and all its variants, and of course, also of C/C++. I have so many projects in mind for the gamedev, but emptiness eats me and I can't develop them, it's pathetic.

#include <iostream>

int main() {
std::cout << "Hello, devRant\n";
return 0;
}

I'm a C/C++ dev, I declare friends whenever I want.

It's easy as 'friend class John;'

38°C, sunday afternoon, client be like: "Omg, I need you, it's important, can you call me?"

*calls client*

"So I got this E-Mail that said my SEO could be improved alot, why didn't you do that"

*looks at auto generated spam mail, hangs up*

C Hashtag is my favorite language

Like, it's sooooooo sexy to look at
Such nice syntax

Customer : c
Me : m

*Few weeks ago*
C: the server is slow, it sometimes takes 7 seconds before I see our data

(the project is 7+ years old and wasn't written by someone who is very good in SQL)

M: yeah I see that, our servers are busy with this one "process" (SQL query)
C: make it faster
M: well that's possible but it will take a few days (massive SQL spaghetti that I first have to untangle)
C: 😡 nvm then

*Yesterday*
C: server is down !
M: 🤔 *loads data from server and waits ~ 7 seconds*
M: Well what's the problem?
C: I need the data but it's so slow

WELL YOU MINDLESS IMBECILE... If something is slow it doesn't mean our god damn production server is down !
That just means that you have to give us a day or two so we can optimise the (ALSO BY YOUR REQUEST) rushed project... And save you YOUR money that YOU waste on the processing time on our server...

It's time for another teacher story. So grab a cup of tea and listen.

We were casually talking about Arduino programming because he told me he teaches this in another class.
Teacher: it's so sad that i can't use my java code on the Arduino. I mean the Arduino uses java so there shouldn't be a problem.
Me: *internal* HOLD THE FUCK ON
Me: you know that the Arduino uses c and not java, do you?
Teacher: but the Arduino can do java commands! How do you explain this!?
Me: because java uses the c-syntax and it's more of a coincidence that they're named the same way?
Teacher: huh. Ok. But C# doesn't use it, am i right?

How can someone this dumb be a programming teacher 🤦

If I get the new arm I looked at today, I'll always have a battery pack on me. It's USB C and will charge my phone

Python:
* looks nice when written
* painful to write nicely

Perl:
* looks horribly when written
* easy to write

C/C++:
* looks cryptic when written, hard to follow
* difficult to write

Java:
* looks somewhat nice if written well
* easy to write

Shell:
* looks crippled
* a breeze to write

it's like nice'n'easy doesn't even exist..

So... Just overheard a conversation at an Apple store...

tl;dr;

The customer gets furious for not getting to buy a mac pro for the price he wants and it doesn't even include the monitor there.....

C - customer, S - Sales person.

C: Hey, I've heard that apple released new home computers. May I get one?
S: Hello, they are not out yet.
C: WHAT?! How can they not be out yet? They released it like a week ago.
S: Well, they announced it, not officially released it for sale.
C: Ah, whatever. Can I pre-order it now?
S: Sure, we'll need your details and a deposit.
C: What? A deposit for what? That $1000 machine?
S: Sir, do you know the prices?
C: Of course. They have released a new machine and it will cost like previous ones - from $1000.
S: Then you might be talking about Macbook Air...
C: *Interrupts* No, I'm talking about the desktop computer, the whole box.
S: Ok... It starts at ~$6000.
C: WHAT?! It can't be... Oh well, I'll buy it. I hope it's the fully-specked one. Oh and does it come with a monitor?
S: No sir. It's the base model and it has no monitors.
C: WHAT?! How can this be?
S: You see, these are devices created for professionals. They are not for home users since our iMac line is....
C: *Interrupts again* Are you saying I'm not a professional?
S: I'm sorry but by the questions and lack of information - it seems to be true - you are not a professional.
C: FUCK YOU, I'm going to another store and they will sell it for me for $1000. What a piece of crap is this.
*Customer leaves furiously*
S: *to another S* - What is wrong with that dude? Is he high or what?
S2: *shrugs* and tells that it's the 5th time someone came to order that pc and was scared by the price.

---

So yeah... It's fun to see how idiots think that anything apple releases is for them... Once again I was made sure that apple fans are brainless fucks that will buy anything it produces and if that is not in the right price - they'll get furious.

ps. I own apple product, mac pro 2015. Would never buy a newer one NOR an iphone. I don't think that anyone is dumb just for buying it - people buy whatever fits their needs and that's ok but... More than we would like to admit - people buy it because it's an apple product....

Coworker: I give up! Please help me!

Me: What's up?

C: Take a look at this. I have this function here that gets the tab index and I'm passing it to the Tabs component over there. I'm logging the index and as you can see it's 3, but the Tabs component isn't working. However if I replace the function call with a 3 it works!

Coworker 2: While you were explaining all that, shellbug already thought about at least 3 reasons why that isn't working.

Me: **sighs** Of what type is the value that function is returning?

C: **stares at me for a few seconds** It's a number.

Me: Are you sure?

C: Well, it's returning 3.

Me: Please do a typeof.

It was string.

The problem with C++ is that all of your friends can see your private parts.

That's not a problem, it's a feature!

why i like c#?
1- easiest way to build a program with good GUI. just put some XAML code and it's done.
2- I love syntax of c#. it has types. god I hate php XD
3- C# is also fast and strong.
4- don't forget the .net framework that has almost every thing I need.
3- A god like IDE, the Visual Studio.

How come I always see developers use hashtags wrong. Like. Comeon. It's #C, not C# silly.

Visual Studio runs like trash but C# is my love.

It's sad.

Recruiter: What is Go?
Me: It's a newish programming language developed by some really cool guys at Google with C-like syntax and great concurrency support.
Recruiter: So it's like Google's version of RESTful?
Me: Umm…

Hi guys
I'm just starting to learn c++ (with no coding background) and being 22, i feel like it's too late.
Wish me luck.

#!/bin/bash
echo Hello World!

This is my first time here at devRant and I have to say that it's amazing!

Just something to fill this a little more:
Linux enthusiast since 2011.
I'm your stereotypical v̶e̶g̶a̶n̶ Arch user (btw, I use Arch).
Right now I'm learning C and C++(using the QT framework).

Let's the Rant games begin!

!rant

Advice
[1] Don’t panic! All will become clear in time.
[2] You don’t have to know every detail of C++ to write good programs.
[3] Focus on programming techniques, not on language features.

just read in "A Tour of C++11" by Bjarne Stroustrup

It's not just true for C++, that's true for everything

Fourth day at new job, hired as a C++ developer.
"We think you'll be a good fit in this team!"
It's a huge JavaScript project. I feel lost and confused 😓

Visited Java and couldn't C on short distances. Went to an iClinic that Swift'ly gave me c++ goggles. I can now C# but I Haskell been struggling with my OCaml as it's been bit by a Bash'ing Python in a Shell. I'm not trying to sell you a Ruby but I can't find my way back to BASIC.

I've been getting hostile vibes for being Israeli from a German guy in the lab. Consistently, it's not the MENA people who take issue with it, but the "enlightened" left-wing westerns.
Haters gonna hate, but I finished porting my NMCL to c++ and it's x25 faster than the Python version. Hopefully, I can do a live demo on the robot next week :)

After 2 years of being forced into writing PHP 5.5, we've finally convinced upper management to let us switch to C# instead. It's coming in a few weeks. Words cannot describe how much I hate this god awful language.... C#, save me my sweet, sweet, strictly typed goodness.

Phone-interview with a recuiter from a big consultning company.
Her: So, what programming languages are your strongest?
Me: That would be Java, as it's been used through university courses and privatley I've been making some C# projects
Her: Allright cool. What about object oriented languages?
Me:... Erhm.. That would again be Java and C#...

Word of advice: never buy the UMIDICI C Note 2.

Bought it myself and it's an utter piece of garbage.

Just bought another phone which runs stock android 7 and Lineage OS might be installable.
Also it can be rooted, good enough for me!

Yeah.. it's a shame C# doesn't have a type to hold this (4) and then you have to resort to using var.. I am so disappointed, I've heard C# is crap, but this.. THIS!! It doesn't even have a type for normal integers!! FFS!!! I thought it was better than this!!
Oh, wait.. it's not C# who is 'weird'!! It's my super duper cool ex coworker who made a mess of the simple code again... I admit, this is not such a huge deal.. BUT... It doesn't end here.. o.O

It's so fucking hot in here I wanna murder a bitch. How am I gonna continue working like this?

Let's hope it rains soon.

* Footnote:
My heat tolerance is low. About 27 degrees (c) is when my body starts malfunctioning due to heat.

I spent about 5 hours rewriting an in company C# toolbox because I thought it's connection to a Web API was broken. 5 FUCKING HOURS.

Only to then see I was using port 80 for HTTPS...

So we have a "GUI"-class at university. It's fucking C at Windows API. Yes, please kill me.

Today in school...
X: My favourite language is python.
Y: Dumb? Java is the best!!
Z: I loce C#, it's easy!

Whats wrong in this dialog? Z said C++++ instead of C# ......

To my fellow 🐍 charmers:
You should see in C to understand C, else you'll never see what's in C. It's a big sea, you better start C. 😍

As a self taught C programmer starting comp sci in University, WTF is all this object oriented-ness. Constructors, parents, children, inheritance, polymorphism... I feel like more like an anthropologist than a programmer.

(But really, I get why it's better. Just so hard to learn)

Soooo it's the first day of sprint. I have tasks A, B and C.
Here's my manager again telling me:

"It's just A ,why are you taking time."
"It's just B ,why are you taking time."
"It's just C ,why are you taking time."

Guys, i found it, the peak of modern technology. This usb cable can be inserted either way and it works (and it's not usb c) . I don't know how does it handle inverse polarity but it works !

my boss asked me to log in 1h30 after i logged off because "a user has been experiencing this bug the entire day and i should fix it because we're on maintenance tomorrow " but a) it's a known bug that we can't reproduce, he should've notified sooner the issue; b) it's not a big deal, i can fix it tomorrow, it's just not ticking a column in the database; c) I'm off work, go cry about it

!rant

Im going to boast for a second. I wrote a lockless multi producer c++ thread pool that scales linearly, doesn't eat cpu on no work, and has a proper packaged_task + futures interface. It's fucking awesome, and that is all. Thanks for reading 😎

Although I see how powerful Vim (with all its variants) is, I still don't get why people are so into it.

I mean, it's 2017, we have IDEs and some of them are very good, such as VS for C#, Eclipse for C++ and so on!

* grabs popcorn *...

I hate being on call when all directors and c-suite are unable to work because their systems went down.

At least they trust me and let me work. It's just stressful.

I just read the rant: "I use base64 to encrypt my passwords". Found it hilarious!

But I can't believe the amount of people taking it seriously in the comments section! I see just one of these possible explanations.

A) They want to show off
B) They are unable to detect sarcasm
C) They have mastered trolling and I'm stupid

In case it's C, wouldn't this rant be considered as reverse trolling? 😎

All the time while I'm programming I hate Java.... Don't hate me now :D I'm learning Java in high school. I very love very fast programming languages such as C and C++, so this is why I don't like Java, but there are some reasons why I like Java. I just started learning how to create own window. What the hack is this? This is so simple. I tried to create window in C/C++ with OpenGL, just blank window with color. Complicated..... But with java it's fairy tale.
You can add me now to Java familly, but remember I also love C++.

So here your are, Hello World Java FX app :D

Final goal:
Create window application similar scratch.

Found out other team's project result about performance for uni assignment. It's that Matlab is the fastest, followed by python and C++ is the slowest.

They are gonna get roasted during presentation (by many people in the audience including me).
This is gonna be fun.
/*devilish grin*/

I do think C# is the best language going. It's basically got everything, and VS is, weirdly for a Microsoft product, among the best IDEs. You get to thinking that it's actually harder to write unorganised code than not with it: it becomes difficult to imagine writing messy, repetitive or spaghetti code in C#.

Then you use Unity.

I'm learning Unity! I don't have a lot of experience with C# or game development but it's fairly simple and super interesting so far so I'm excited!
!Rant, just excited :)

C++ errors in a nutshell

(The pics is from my college computer lab where it takes us forever to get a proper output )

(Maybe it's we who suck) xD

You know what just gets to me about garbage-collected languages like c# and Java? Fucking dynamic memory allocation (seemingly) on the stack. Like it's so bizzare to me.

"Hey, c#, can I have an array of 256 integers during run-time?"

"Ya sure no prob"

"What happens when the array falls out of scope"

"I gotchu fam lol"

I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore.

I finally have a storyline for my game and it's pretty interesting..
Now I dont know what software to code the game in :c

I have just started learning C# having previously known only Python. It's a learning curve - why is there so much syntax!? 😬

Started developing a new expansion for C# out of a very personal need. It's called Dyslex-C# and it contains the normal C# functions spelled wrong since I seem to do it all the time anyway. Hello Wrold! Productivity++.

hi! I'm your friendly neighborhood sysadmin/operations bastard. I also write mostly okay python, ruby, and c.

This is called devrant because it's where you go to complain about devs, right? /s

anyway, hello!

Why is C++ the first language taught in schools when Ruby is a much simpler and fun language?

History says because the courses didn't get updated.

Conspiracy theory says it's to keep out people who can't deal with complexity.

I guess I could say back to the old LOGO turtle days, but it wasn't until university that I began using the good turbo c compiler and it's DOS platform

I wanna learn rust, go, Ruby, lolcode, brainfuck, the meaning of life, etc... And then every time I start a new side project I always do that in C xD I guess it's because you can not easily forget your first love :D

Why does python live on land?

Because it's above C-level!

Just in case you thought you and your tech job were weird I give you:

Herpetologist: I caught a turtle here in Costa Rica.
Camera man: Cool. What kind is it?
H: this is the white eared red footed mud guppy. See what's interesting is that it has white sides of its face. And red feet. And lives in Costa Rica. In the mud. It is not a guppy though. Guppies are fish.
C: Cool and why is it important?
H: It's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: what does it do?
H: It's a turtle.
C: yeah but is it endangered? Venomous?
H: Nope. Just a regular old turtle.
C: so you just ran 50 miles and dove in to a random body of water that probably contained malaria and herpes to catch a regular turtle.
H: well it's not a regular turtle
C:(glares) it isn't?
H: it is. But it's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: so why did you catch it?
H: I like turtles.

So look at it this way: you could be the camera man.

AHH! There's so many cool things to program and so many ideas! not enough time to learn. Right now I'm trying to create my first mobile game in Unity using C# and a note taking app for Android with Java, it's melting my head!

I once had a class mate who argued that coding in C not only produced faster code than .NET C#, but that he could actually produce applications faster than me in C.
I challenged him to make a Web browser. While he was struggling to remember if it was #include <stdio.h> or #include <iostream>, I started typing WebBro... and let IntelliSense work it's magic.
Needless to say I won.
Sadly, he wouldn't admit his defeat but went on about how much faster his browser would run in the end...
He has yet to release a Web browser written completely in C.

me@termux $ su -c pm list packages
android.os.DeadObjectException: Transaction failed on small parcel; remote process probably died at [...]

Hmm, strange.. wasn't that the proper command? 🤔
Maybe it's SELinux that's at it again? It's giving permission errors with /sys/class/power_supply/battery/capacity as well, which can only be solved by disabling SELinux it seems.

me@termux $ su -c setenforce 0
me@termux $ su -c pm list packages
(Gives list)

So it was SELinux after all.. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!

!rant

A few days ago, one could have said that C++ is giving me PTSD.
Now, I've come to adore, cherish and love it for it's simplicity.

It feels so much better than Java.
No shit on java, it's good in what it does but damn boi C++ can do like, fucking everything.

Probably still gonna gib me PTSD in a week or so but fuck it.

In my wallowing experience as a freelancer I've noticed that almost all C/C++ clients are perfectionist. You just can't please them by getting the job done quickly.

I got a libcurl job from one the other day to scrape data from a target website and within an hour it was ready. I notified the client and he was both amazed and confused assuming it would take the whole week.
C++Client: The code works but you need to take your time.
Me: Sorry?
C++Client: Yes, it works but you used "string" instead of "wstring"
Me: 😊 Oh okay... *converts strings to wstring*
C++Client: And also variable names should be more descriptive.
Me: 😏 *int foobar => int very_long_descriptive_foobar_01*
C++Client: And also use "shorts" for page nums it'll save some bytes
Me: 😕 *int => short...*
C++Client: And also use forloops instead of whileloops
Me: ☹️ *whileloops => forloops*
C++Client: And also use -- instead of ++ in loops
Me: 😤 *for(... i++) => for(... i--)*
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
===> Seven "and also" days later <===
Me: *completed 10 Java projects behind the scene*
C++Client: And also use pthread instead of thread
Me: 😧 It's day 7 already!
C++Client: Oh I see, great job. You can compile and send me the archived source.
Me: 🤩
C++Client: And also...
Me: 🏃💨

I have that friend who keeps telling me that he doesn't like java just because it's slow! (I hate this excuse).

Friend: look what java did to Android, it's because of java that iOS is faster tham Android.

Me: whaaat!! do you know that Android OS have nothing to do with java? it's C++ you...

Friend: No it's Java, we develop Android apps with java

Me: 🔫

Damn, it's quite refreshing to work on some C#.NET microservices instead of the usual PHPTSD in the CMS Of Doom™...

it's decided, i'm creating a programming language specifically to trigger SJW (like the idea of C+=) which starting to corrupt this industries.

perhaps it's not gonna be huge, so i will blend this with my original idea; a simple language to fix python syntax that a lot of people didn't like who come from C like syntax which transpiled to python code.

maybe it's silly, but this need to be done. at least for my self.

*During meeting*
C:*smiling while looking at massex.py* 'MasSex' uh! You'd change it before pushing

In my defense it's short for Mass Execution not MasSex
FML

So, today I tried using my C/++ Code in Java using native jvm stuff.
It's cancer to make it work but damn it's cool.

I need to do codereviews at work...

Everytime i get c# code im just happy, it's beautiful to look at, easy to follow, new language features every couple of months or so...

And then I get Java/Android Code.... 😩☠🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️.

(I mainly code in C++)

it's called C because it can "C" into your soul

and it says "wow, fuck this person"

daily.
me: i looked into the customer dev's project and even though it's C#, i can use it as a source of inspiration for my own C++ library.
PM: okay, maybe we can even still use it, so that you use a C# dll with your C++ code.
me: ...
other colleague: that's a bad idea. it can already be a challenge to use unmanaged c++ in dotnet, but the other way round it's even more difficult. C# and C++ are languages that behave quite differently and it will be hard to implement a correctly working interface.
PM: okay. well... then please analyze this project's complexity in terms of LOC and create a class diagram, so we get an idea of how complex it is.
me: sure.
PM: hmm... maybe we should split this topic. since dev x will also rely on your library, analyze this project together with him, each of you look at another part of the classes.
me: that's.... i think that's a bad idea. implementing this functionality in this library is my job, not of dev X. he won't be involved in implementing any of the funcionalities and for him, it shouldn't matter how this works.
PM: yeah, but since we are prototyping, maybe we should just violate the "separation of concerns" rule.
me (internally): (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

in the end i could convince him to do it my way, but for fuck's sake... when was the last time he actually succesfully implemented something? 🤦‍♀️

C is probably my favorite programming language. I use it for learning new concepts and implementing algorithms.

It's just sometimes I hate that I have to do everything myself when I need to focus on the solution/concept instead.

P.S., I hate C++ from all my heart. It's an abomination and a deformity of C.

The joys of Drupal.

Coworker: i can't hide this option from this select. it's been created programmatically by another module.
Me: doesn't that mean you defined it somewhere?
C: nope, the module does it with the whole taxonomy
M: can't you interact with it somehow,
C: i don't know
M: you don't know?
C: it's a module by the community, i don't understand it
M: *what the fuck.* ...fine. can you hide it with some js for now?
C: i tried no. they get loaded at different times from different behaviours.
M: then... what?
C: i don't know, i've been searching drupal.org for the whole morning to no avail.
M: *god. damn.* Create the select with something else, then? maybe by raw php?
C: that's bullshit! you don't create elements lile that in 2018! no one writes php or html anymore, unless he"s retarded!

Bloody hell. I'm not covering for this. My part is done (in rails) and i'll deliver it this afternoon. Not for this kind of delay.

Don't question my infrastructure setup. I ssh into server A because it's the only one available from the outside. From there i ssh into server B to ssh into server C. C functions as a router and allows me to ssh into D, E, F and G. I could go from A to C directly, but OCD.

With limited Internet in 92 :P I read magazines and did line by line from the books. From Atari 520 ST, to vb6, then into PHP, C++ and C#, it's fully been a ride of self learning.

I envy the new generation with the massive amount of online learning sites. At age 36, been programming since I was 12. What an advantage young kids have today!

Fav function is printf() in C.
Because sometimes, it's the best debugger.

well.... my HDD is dead.... I'm just happy it's not my C:\ drive

Opens legacy code...
Sees char *malloc();

Knows its going to be a long day.

For fuck sake I get that people like python but not everyone is going to use it!

Just want a few articles or tutorials on interpreters and would you fucking look at that, it's all just in fucking python using external libraries...

Then I purchased a couple Linux and Raspberry pi magazines just to have a gander at some of the code examples and what do you think every single piece of code is? C? C++? Vala? Nope, fucking python!

I will eventually finish learning what I can about python but there are other languages that exist that isnt fucking python, give us some C, C# or even bloody JavaScript... Please

Ok rant about python over, back to my hole

FINALLY FINISHED THE THING I WAS WORKING ON SINCE LAST MARCH!!! THIS HAS PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH!!! TEARS WERE SHED!!!FEELINGS HURT!!! BUT IT'S DONE!!! I AM NEVER TRANSLATING SOMETHING FROM C++ TO C# AGAIN!!!

It's funny how 7 years of experience in coding made me a professional repairman.
You'll be surprised how good you are at repairing broken screen on your relatives phone just because you know C#... 😭

I literally just had this conversation.

H: Me
C: Colleague

C: "Hey Hindsight, I'm having issues with our web print driver, it's not opening the browser after printing"
H: "Have you checked Interactive Mode in the installer so it opens the browser?"
C: "Yes"
H: "Are you sure you have the right domain name in your configuration file? It should be <thing.example.com>"
C: "Ah, it's just example.com. Should I just change it in the config?"
H: "No you need to regenerate the config from our server tool, because the server data needs to match your client config data"
C: "Ok, my config says <example.com>"
H: "Yes, just regenerate the config with <thing.example.com> instead for the domain"
C: "Ok I'll do that. What was the correct domain again?"
H: thinking "Holy shit can you really be that dumb!" but saying "<thing.example.com>"

Built my own IoC container for C#. This taught me way too much about SOLID principles and dependency injection that i could give lessons now 😂

I'm still using my own IoC in my projects... It's great 🤘

Guy at school
"I could do that... OR I could do it... in C#HNNNNNNNNGH"
Yeah, we get it. You like C#. Hooray for you. Please stop cumming every time it's mentioned.

I've just spent the morning writing a C# program that pops up a message when I say hello. It's the most basic thing when I look at it now but as I was writing it you'd swear I was breaking technological boundaries!

Interviewing candidates for a middle/senior dev position:

Me: Imagine you have this button, but whatever it's doing when you click it, it's taking too long to load. How would you improve the speed performance?

Candidate: Redis!

Me: Okay... but how would you find where the bottleneck is?

C: Redis!

Me: How abo-

C: REDIS!

Looked into my spam/junk folder and found this. I don't have a C-Panel account, just so you know. I took a look into the link to check it out. It's quite obviously an attempt at phishing. (more screenshots in the comments)

In C++, it's bad when classes become friends, because then they show their privates.

A few days ago I decided to learn C by writing a simple Minecraft clone. Guess who has less than 26¼ hours to do university exercises for two weeks. And It's not like I had double that time because of Christmas Holidays.

TL;DR C# has changed quite a bit since the last time I used it.

So I'm working on a personal project, it's written in C#. When I needed to run a task on a separate thread. It has been years since the last time I worked with C#, so I googled it.

Me: "Async? Await? Task? This looks pretty fucking useful. When was this added?"

*Googles a bit*
Return .NET 4.5 in 2012. Current version 4.7.1.

Me: "What?! Last time I checked they were still in .NET 4. Shit!"

I've got a bit of catching up to do.

Call me crazy but honestly, getting a segmentation fault in C/C++ makes my day joyful

Java or Python guys will never understand the feel you get when you end up getting segmentation fault in C/C++

Sitting in midst of nature with beer in hand and segmentation fault on screen.

WOW :) THAT'S WHAT WE CALL LIFE :)

PS: Although sometimes it's frustrating as hell

C/C++ debugging with VSCode sucks ass.

How do I even debug stuff in forks while still debug my threads?
And yeah please just kill my program away, it's not like there happens some necessary housekeeping at exit or SIGINT. FML.

!Rant

.net 6 + c# 10 is a blast to work with !

I double dare you to create hello world with less lines :) (It's actually 1 line in .net 6)

Vs studio 17, Y U NO COMPILE MAH C++? It's literally one tiny program, with only one "Rectangle" class. g++ likes it and compiles it clean, why can't you be more like him? :(

C and C++ want people to use them, but make people pay for the standards. Sure, you can download a draft, but it's not guaranteed that's what's in the standard.

What is the point of a standard if you disable people from conforming to it?

!rant

So coming from the interpreted language world (mainly using python), I'm always amazed on how compiled languages work. Especially C.

Every time I use C, it's like everything is sooooo faster (runtime), and yes I've read about it so many times. It's just that I can't explain this great feeling about actually seeing the results of using C.

Man, I think I just love C (even though I'm still confused in using pointers).

Everyone who says that C != C++ it's true don't know C or C++.

I work with J2EE every day, especially Spring and Spring Boot.
I like it very much but when I am home I love tinkering with C++ (even tough I am a beginner in this language).
Is anyone else like this? It's like C++ has a misterious charm for me, not sure why. I also enjoy haskell and erlang, but keep at getting back at C++.

Imagine the horror of learning C programming with manual memory management, pointer arithmetic and without your cool utility libraries after programming for 2 years in Python just becoz it's in the fukin syllabus!!

It's fascinating to see C# mentioned as a "lower level language" now days. Times change.

C# was my first language when I started out learning about programming as a kid (I still think it's a great language) and I remember searching the forums for information about any commercial games written with it hoping it was possible to build something "cool" and "3D". Back then that was pretty much just a dream, or so it seemed. C# was, I understood, way too high level for anything like that.

Today it wouldn't be totally baseless to call C# the game dev industry standard.

Did anyone heard about modular C?
I'm working on it at school, it's like how to do OOP in C with structures and function pointers.

We're developing the String class but next, we will make a basic C++ implementation in C before beginning the real C++

Do you think it's a good path?

CoWorker: I fixed the code so it doesn't throw any errors or warnings anymore.

What He did? Well.. he just commented the whole important part and it's my turn now to really fix this C mess.

Visual Studio 2022 compiles our internal c++ cmake project as a mix of x86 and x86_64 binaries, then fails to link.

VS 2019 correctly compiles everything as x86_64.

No idea why. And, obviously, it's not a documented problem.

Today I started setting up an environment to learn C. It's my first dive into anything more complex than PHP. Wish me luck!

Also, any hints for a beginner in C?

Hello NDC! Three days of conference, learning stuff, coffee, motivation, meeting people, coffee, good food, coffee!

I love NDC (Norwegian Developer Conference), it's my ninth time. I just watched Jon Skeet talk about C#8, up next is some Azure stuff. Anybody else here?

So me and @ikdekker are working on this 3d engine in c++ for school and we are kinda forced to use visual studio. He absolutely hates it cause it's not convenient (he's used to netbeans). Anyone know extensions or something so he'll be happy?

I've been using C, C++ and Python for 10+ years and suddenly I moved to a new job where I had to learn and use JavaScript.
I think that it is different, as many say, but it is full of lacks and it's like a pile of hacks to make things work. It's a scripting language used as a programming language. What do you think about it?

So, right now I'm 16 atm I know some basics of php,python but I love Python more than php. So my question it's:
Most of the universities in my country for computer science, are based on java, c++ and some another stuff.

What should I do? Should I start learning C++ / Java or continue using python?

Always use post-increment instead of pre-increment, cause it's C++.

Thoughts on ASP.NET (or C# in general)?
I think it's pretty neat, but, well, Microsoft...

Am I the only one that doesn't like Java? I mean I don't hate it or say it's bad. It's pretty clear that it has been probably the most influential language after C. I just don't like how typed and verbose it is, also I feel old just using it or something based on it (like Jenkins)

Fucking german computer science classes

You get a few UML structograms and have to finish a half finished project. It's the most boring way to learn programming ever. Instead of giving us a task or a project to work on, it's literally translating UML to C#.

Is this what one is gonna do later as a software dev?

! rant
So i started my first job on thursday and even though I interviewed for a c# developer position, I'm now a Projectlead Junior. I'm not even mad. It's surprising where life takes you.

Started a new game dev job. Fortunately, they already have a Rubber Ducky chilling at the desk. Only thing, it's less of a duck and more of an evil imperial guard with a lust for bloodshed. I hope he likes C++.

Boss: It's just a minor graphical change (c# winforms)
Me after coding for two days: done....

Python irritates me when it comes to it's lack of visible typing. I'm a little too much of a C/C++ junky

I've spent a lot of time messing around with C, having struggled with object-oriented programming (due to not really knowing how best to structure things, not knowing when to apply certain design patterns).

When writing C code, I'd write OOP-esque code (pass around a struct to routines to do things with it) and enjoyed just making things happen without having to think too much about the overall design. But then I'd crave being able to use namespaces, and think about how the code would be tidier if I used exceptions instead of having every routine return an error code...

Working with Python and Node over the past couple of years has allowed me to easily get into OOP (no separate declaration/definition, loose typing etc.) and from that I've made some fairly good design decisions. I'd implemented a few design patterns without even realising which patterns they were - later reading up on them and thinking "hey, that's what I used earlier!"

I've also had a bit of an obsession with small executable files - using templates and other features of C++ add some bloat (on Windows at least) compared to C. There were other gripes I had with C++, mostly to do with making things modular (dynamic linking etc.) but really it's irrelevant/unreasonable.

And yes, for someone who doesn't like code bloat, working with Node is somewhat ironic... (hello, node_modules...)

So today I decided to revisit C++ and dust off my old copy of C++ in a Nutshell, and try to see if I could write some code to do things that I struggled with before. One nice thing is that this book was printed in 2003, yet all of its content is still relevant. Of course, there are newer C++ standards, but I can happily just hack away and avoid using anything that has been deprecated.

One thing I've always avoided is dynamic_cast because every time I read about it, I read that "it's slow". So I just tried to work around it when really if it's the right tool for the job, I might as well use it... It's really useful!

Anyway, now I've typed all this positivity about C++ I will probably find a little later on that I hit a wall with what I'm doing and give up again... :p

!rant

so the other day i was programming and suddenly i wanted to learn haskell. (i don't know why it hit me so suddenly, maybe because it's a 'pure' functional programming language and these 2 terms i knew nothing about)

and to be honest it's really hard coming from an imperative programming language (C/C++, yes, i know they are different in their ways). it's like learning to program again! you really have to get a different mindset and for me honestly it's hard to grasp the idea that 'variables' are immutable! like, that's soooo weird it still stucks to me. for example how did they define the max or min function without using a while loop? what are monads?

I am just 2 days in but it'll be a fun ride!

C++99, C++03, C++11 and C++14

I love when your design finally ends up working, looks good and it's running as fast as Usain Bolt, but why the hell does OOP has to be so ugly and clunky in C++? Constructors and copy constructors designs are barf inducing. Yes I am trying to make it as readable and neat as possible but it still looks like shit overall. And related compiler errors are almost always retarded or unhelpful even though I'm used to it now.

I know you will tell me "why are you using those old ass versions?". Well unfortunately in embedded you are stuck with old crap until some envoy of the gods finally up the standards... or if I do it myself for a specific platform.

You know what the best invention is for devs?
It's not JS, not C++, no IDEs, not VIM, not VSCode, not Linux, not Apple, not a computer (🤔).

It's coffee :) hmmmm....

I've been BSing my skillset for so long to myself, it's a veritable toolbox of mixed knowledge but no complete sets...

I wonder if it's too late for me to catch up or if I will ever actually complete any learning...

I am yet to finish learning

Html
CSS
PHP
Ruby
C#
ASM I can do i386 but not x86
VB
Pascal if you can believe
C
C++
Java
JS
Python
Powershell
Bash

My main skill is basically just remembering anything I do, including code syntax and example code fragments well enough to quote at people which makes me a lazy learner.

Project Manager: "C++ has become much better for embedded now so we're gonna use it in the new project."

Me: "I didn't C that coming."

I know it's silly but I'm proud of it 🤓

I've been writing Java the last few days. Really makes me remember why I enjoy writing objective c / swift so much. It's not necessarily the crazy syntax of objective c. It's the conventions behind the languages. It's very easy to make your code read like prose. Which when you become used to this it's very hard to jump back into spaghetti code with abbreviated variable names and such.

Mind blow of the week: JavaScript has no "else if".

It's always two tokens. Not one. It's NOT like python's "elif".

It's ALWAYS chaining an additional and DISTINCT if statement in the else clause of the first. It is NOT creating multiple comparison paths in the same if statement as it would seem.

For example:

if(a) console.log(a);
else if(b) console.log(b);
else console.log(c);

Simply needs more proper indentation to show which "if" the "else" actually belongs to:

if(a) console.log(a);
else
if(b) console.log(b);
else console.log (c);

It's a sad fact of life that managing dynamic memory is a very difficult programming task. Some public domain X-Window applications are notorious for leaking like the Apple Computer board of directors -- Expert C Programming

so they are really out there...

people who beleive C# is just the one source of truth and all other languages are just garbage

🤡

sad to be so ignorant - though i guess ignorance is bliss

to be clear: I use C# like anyone else, but it's just a tool in the toolkit, that's all

Need a C++ partner..

I'm self taught developer and it's kinda hard to understand the code of your own.. since c++ is not an easy language to master I need partner whom I can easily discuss code and topics of c++. I'm in slack too and it's great community .. has people who always willing to help you out.. but the thing is it's really weird to ask simple question there again and again.. so i wanna have some partner to discuss C++ code easily..

Skills required for the job I'm interviewing for:
C++, sql, cuda
Skills I have:
C++

I think it's going fairly well so far.

C++ might be very good in memory management but it's an absolute pain in the ass. When the src has thousands of lines of code it's clos3 to impossible to manage the memory. The errors are so vague.

And porting the code to a new hardware is an absolute nightmare.

The difference between C and C++: "If it's helpful at all, it is in the standard library"

Complete disaster. As a C++ dev I was assigned to maintain some Python applications (some of them acting as proxies, wtf) just because the original authors left the team. It's slow as hell and it's not even a product - it's a helper tool. Cannot rewrite because nobody will give a green light for that. Why? Why?!

Why do I have 50 pdfs of books that teach me things that I will never be using?
Assembly tutorial? Why?
Java tutorial? Hm... okay. Perhaps.
Python tutorial x10? But I could use docs!
C? Shit!
C++? Ugh...
C#? Seriously?!

I think it's the time to wipe out all files with .pdf extention :/

I literally have a discussion with somebody who says C# is better than PHP, even though the person in question never even touched PHP...

Like: if you prefer C# over PHP because you actually used BOTH and just prefer C# that's completely fine... but saying C# is flat out better just because you never used PHP?

It's like saying "Coca-Cola tastes better than Pepsi" even though you never had Pepsi (disclaimer: I like Coca-Cola better, but I don't really care that much about the minor difference)

I have waitsted whole my day searching a bug with memory allocation in C++, and still don't know how to fix it! That moment, when coding took me far less time than searching that fucking bug... I feel that i missed anything, but all looks ok
I HATE C++ WITH IT'S FUCKING POINTERS!!!!!

It's only Monday. Why do i feel so tired. T_T

Today's work:
- 3hrs check point meeting on Project A
- quick API fix, testing and dev assistance on Project A
- prelive deployment of Module B
- code review and enhancements for Script C
- prelive deployment and testing for Script C

I want to properly get into other programming languages like Java and C#, but I keep going back to Python because it's so much more familiar and I'm comfortable with it. :(

What do? Do others have this kind of problem too?

It's a fucking shame computed goto didn't make it into the C standard.

It's by far my favorite non-standard feature of C. Writing this VM would suck without it.

C++. Damn the pointers. It's because I learned Java before C++ and the memory management in C++. I don't get it ever, the object creation, memory allocation, deallocation and everything

when you're tryna create a function in C and u start typing "funct"... and then u realise it's "C" so u backspace your code of shame.

Why does it feel like nobody uses D?
I love it. It combines the best bits of C++, Java, Ruby and even some Python. It still is C ABI and C++ ABI (ish) compatible. It can do everything you need it to. It's not limited like Java. It feels cleaner than C. I LOVE IT. But I don't understand why there's not much going on about it. Is it because it's not 100% stable yet? I don't know. AAAARGH

I am so bored with my job in Devops, I only need a few dirty scripts to run everything...
So much so that I started to search for C++ jobs (going back to my previous background), even though I hate C++.
At least it's going to be more mentally stimulating, they also tend to be paid higher than Devops.

Ok, so, serious question.
How the frick do you time a music game properly?
IN C#?

...Ok, maybe in C# it's just impossible, isn't it? Because I've done a metronome, it kinda works, but it's... wobbly... Because the thread stops every time the music effect is being played.
And also how do you make the notes...? ...I should design an entire editor for charts/maps, I guess, but how do I make that in C#?

So maybe I should try in Unity?
What do you think? I want to make a music game so bad ;–;

So c++ isn't really ideal for robotics? I could just not understand c++ correctly. I think it's just my terrible understanding of why a compiler is needed. I am an intermediate Python Dev, so I guess I'd like to download the "language" and go, ya know?

I've been browsing devRant for a while now, and it's a really warm community, so i wanted to ask a question. I want to get into C programming and don't know where to start. Could someone point out somewhere good to start?

Studying Nim for me is like mashing two potatoes with one fork, except it's raw and the fork is made out of plastic. (Still don't understand C/C++)

Why people loves Java? It's because the maintenance or something in architectural level? I don't understand, because we have languages like Python with a better syntax and languages like C++ with a better optimization and speed of processing

Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Because they don't C#.

I know this one gets thrown around a lot, but it's simple and a terribly great joke.

So frustrating to learn Swift when I already know objective-c. It's like I know what I'm doing, but really, I don't

Something they don't tell you about c++ development until it's too late: cross-compiler compatibility is an enormous monster.

When I worked with C# creating a DLL and distributing it to others is a completely transparent process, there's no special considerations required at all.

In c++ you basically aren't allowed to use the standard library in many cases. You can't just export a class with a standard string as a member because when another person goes to use your DLL, the string might have a different implementation.

Started learning SML
I don't know why.
So far it's like only being able to use macro-defined functions in C, except it's really anal about type use.
What twisted, saddistic SOB invented this?!
I miss C

In an average day, how many different languages do you use?

For example my previous job was strictly C and Python.

My current job involves Python, C#, VB, PHP, SQL, HTML/CSS, JS. It's rare but quite possibly I could touch all these on a single day.

Taking notes or explaining mathematical,/physical concepts by writing I'm C++ syntax.

It's pretty good because all my other chemical engineering classmates stopped asking for my notes.

It's 2 in the morning, and my only type-C cable has just gave up

Do any of you know of a good lightweight cross platform GUI system that doesn't use C++, .NET or Node.js? I'm kinda tired of those three.
Bonus points if it's easy to learn.
Should be stand alone on the desktop.

Getting back to the cpp applet I started somewhat recently (Vanilla + Gentoo kernel version checker)...

Me: "debugging c plus plus code"
Dictation: "f***ing c++ code"
...
Well, it's not too far off.

A: [technology] really sucks. For example, it does this thing where [shitty thing].

B: So just because [shitty thing], you throw out the entire [technology]?

No you dimwit. It's because of all the other things that led up to this point. This new bullshit is just being tossed on top of the mountain of other bullshit.

I'm not going to list off all 5000 reason why Cobol-interpreter-using-C-preprocessor is absolute garbage when "it's cobol implemented in the C preprocessor" is what I'm ranting about *now*.

Pedantic twats.

I don't like when maintainers ask me how their module works in review. >:c

It always works me up a little bit.

And when people spawn process for something that can be done with unistd. >>:(

I think it's not professional.

Right now, I'm doubting my reading skills.

I'm doing a feature acceptance presentation and half way through they're like "did you handle cases A, B and C?"

No.

Fuck.

Now it's got to be rushed in ...
And all because I can't read the spiderweb of requirement docs

Why do all schools/colleges in my area only provide web development nowadays? -_- It's like the schoolworld has moved on from using C for any native running software and wants to use PHP for that instead...