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Search - "its not you its me"
-
Boss: “Our YouTube channel doesn’t look at all like our website.”
Me: “I’ve made it look as close to our branding as YouTube allows for with its limited editing controls.”
Boss: “This is unacceptable. I expected more from you.”
Me: “I cannot accept the blame for this. YouTube is setting the design parameters for all channels and I can only do so much.”
Boss: “You can call the YouTube, can’t you? Why didn’t you call them?”
Me: “.......and ask them....what?”
Boss: “You don’t ask! You tell! Our company has been around for 140 years. Our brand name carries that weight. They’ll change their design to what we need if you’re assertive enough.”
Me: “Ma’am, that’s just not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.”50 -
My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:
Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!
YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!14 -
NSA: Hey, its looks like you a bit lonely
Me: Yeah sort of
CIA: (Retrieves list of facebook friends), why not hook up with these people
Me: Not interested
FBI: The girl across your room seems to be interested in you
Me: Nah not interested
CIA: We can send someone to keep you company if you want
Me: thanks, not interested
NSA: A girl winked at you at the cafe yesterday
Me: Didn't notice
CIA: What of the lady you spoke to on the phone earlier
Me: Too old
FBI: Can you please move your webcam to the left a little
Me: Bruuuuuhhhhhh!!!19 -
Internship number two.
*walks downstairs to get a coffee*
*CTO (my guider) walks in*
CTO: (dead serious face) "linuxxx (not using my first name :P), come with me please"
*walks along to his office, starting to get reallly fucking nervous*
*CTO and me walk into his office, he sits down and looks at me very serious*
*I'm slightly shaking, nervous, sweating*
CTO: "So."
*oh yes here it is its gonna come I did something wrong fuck fml 😫😥😨😩*
CTO: "So you know quite some stiff around security/privacy. Could you tell me some stuff about why I'd want to use VPN and recommend me some good providers? 😀"
😅
*nearly falls onto the ground from relief*
I explained him some stuff and sent him a list of good providers 😀30 -
Me: You know what my least favorite programming language is?
Friend: HTML?
Me: No that's not a programming language
Friend: ohh haha I forgot its like Pluto20 -
Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"
WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!30 -
So, my broadband internet is not working. Naturally, i called my ISP and complained.
He enlightened me, "Turn on your TV and watch the news. Theres a deadly computer virus on the loose and it is affecting banks and businesses and everything. So we decided to help our customers by turning our services down for a few days."
What the actual fuck?
Its like to Not eat anything due to a bird flu.
Oh! and i have an exam tomorrow.
Thank you muggles.17 -
Client: The webpage has been inaccessible all weekend!!
Me: Oh you mean the page you need to have a VPN connection to access?
Client: Yes that one!
Me: Are you connected to the VPN?
Client: Oh...no I'm not. *connects to VPN* Its working now.5 -
So my manager (a 29 y/o, who hardly can use a mac) walks towards me with a hint of panic in his eyes.
Manager: Hey commander keen, do you know how to use vertical look up in excel, I've tried, and looked at tutorials.
Me: yeah I really don't know excel (and not willing to learn, especially on the fly), I don't even have excel installed, I can write I script that does what you want.
Manager: No you have enough on your plate
3 hours later
Manager: hey I still can't figure it out, could you solve it with a script, won't that take to long
Me: no send me the files, Ill do it with a script.
I start writing 2 for loops and wait for the file, 10 ish minutes later its basicly done, just need to put in the column indexes.
I send a message on both slack channels (hey are you going to email or slack me the file)
After a hour I walk to his desk and again ask him for the file.
Manager a good 2 hours later on slack: Hey I just send you the file, I hope its not to much work, it has to happen asap.
So if you have kids, and they are not that bright by some kind of birth defect, don't worry, they can always become a manager.
But you can't get me down today. I hit 2000 upvotes and the employer is unknowingly a proud sponsor for reading and writing all these rants and comments :-) thnx devrant8 -
Friend: Dude, could you look at my code, see what's wrong??
Me: Its not indented. Indent is properly first..10 -
Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.
Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.
You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.
Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.
I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass11 -
HP Virtual Agent, you're about as useless as the fucking hardware that I'm troubleshooting. What part of fucking "Arch Linux" do you not understand?! Not everyone runs your fucking assumed OS choices - WanBLowS 7, 8 or 10. What's more, the hardware that I'm troubleshooting doesn't even support those bloody operating systems.
Long live HP and its random freezes due to poor thermal management. And long live Intel's fucking wireless drivers, that for no good reason disconnect after half an hour and require me to restart NetworkManager to (hopefully) get shit connected again. And long live those useless fucking "virtual assistants"!!!17 -
PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test
*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.11 -
I hate everybody who says JavaScript is the best language because of loose typing and its easy to learn, YES OF COURSE IT IS EASY!
ITS FUCKING JAVASCRIPT! IT WAS MEANT TO BE EASY! AND THEN SOME ASSHOLE CAME ALONG, CREATED NODE AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!
NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO WROTE CODE FOR UX NOW THINK THEY KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN ON THE SERVERSIDE!!
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THIS ANALTOY OF A LANGUAGE.
YOU THINK JAVASCRIPT IS THE BEST?! DO YOU REALLY??!!! OH YEAH!?!
WELL FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL, YOU ARE NOT A DEVELOPER IN MY EYES, GO HOME KIDDO, LEARN C OR ASM OR HOW A FUCKING COMPUTER ACTUALLY WORKS!!
AND THEN TELL ME AGAIN JAVASCRIPT IS A WELL DESIGNED AND PROPER LANGUAGE!!
I'M OUT!32 -
Me: you should not open that log file in excel its almost 700mb
Client: its okay, my computer has 4gb ram
Me: *looking at clients computer crashing*
Client: the file is broken!
Me: no, you just need to use a more memory efficient tool, like R, SAS, python, C#, or like anything else!5 -
Mam: Hey can I ask you a question about Facebook?
Me: (Christ give me strength) ... sure whats up?
Mam: You know when you get a notification and you click on it and see what someone uploaded?
Me: ... you are not on Facebook, you can't be getting notifications
Mam: well I do. Is it possible to...
Me: No hang on a second, it is 110% not possible for this to happen. Something else is going on that you think is a notification.
Mam: You know when you are on, and you see a message like "12 new notifications"
Me: on? on what? this is happening on your phone is it? Can I see?
Mam: No its on my laptop at home.
Me: ... you have an old laptop with an old windows, you can't get notifications on it.
Mam: OH FOR GOD SAKE! ... you know when you are in your emails and it says "12 new notifications"?
Me: ... right so we are talking about EMAILS about unread notifications and not getting notifications on your phone. So you have an old account then that you don't use?
Mam: Yeah I don't know the password to it, haven't logged in, in years.
Me: of course
Mam: Right anyway. When I get one and click on it, lets say its about you, can you see me reading your notifications?
Me: ..... you can't not read my notifications.
Mam: uh, can you see me reading your emails then smart arse?
Me: ... can't do that either.
Mam: So what the hell am I doing then?
Me: You are reading a post someone uploaded, which you got alerted to from an email.
Mam: Right, can you tell when I've read your POST then?!?!?!
Me: no
Mam: was that so hard?
Me: ... yep7 -
Attended one of the best meetups ever. To give you an idea how awesome it was..
Speaker took the first ~20 minutes introducing himself.
His intro card deck kept referring to himself in the third person (he is the only employee in consulting 'company'). Ex. "Mr. Smith began his humble career .."
The powerpoint presentation began with him clicking each page, not executing the slideshow (ex. pressing F5).
Finally someone asked "Can you make slide bigger?"
S:"You can't read that?..um..sure...I guess .."
Starts fumbling around the zoom ...
Dev: "No, can you start the slideshow?"
S: "I don't know what you mean...there...I zoomed it, is that better? Now I can't see my notes..just sec.."
<fumbles again with the zoom>
Dev: "No, not zoom, start the slide show, press F5"
S: "Oh...you want me to F5 it...OK..."
<he *clicks* the slide show button>
Finally getting into code, trying to get out of powerpoint ...
S: "How do I get out of this fullscreen?.."
Dev: "Hit escape"
S:"No..um.."
<keeps trying to click on 'something'>
S:"I see visual studio, but its not on the big screen... "
<keeps click on 'something', no one is sure whats going on>
Dev: "Hit Escape to stop the slideshow"
<finally hits escape, then able to put Visual Studio on the big screen>
S: "Ahh...there, I figured it out."
Speaker had no end of making wild/random statements like:
".Net Core is the future of Microsoft, if you're using .Net 4.5...forget it, its not even supported anymore."
"When I was at Microsoft Build, I asked them why not put all the required .Net assemblies in one directory. Looks like with .Net Core, they listened to me" (he was serious)
"I don't use SQL Server Mgmt Studio. Its free and it sucks. I use <insert a very expensive SSMS clone>, its great, you guys should check it out", then proceeds to struggle to open a query window to write some SQL.
"When you use .Net Core and EntityFramework, you have to write your own stored procedures. If a developer can't write stored procedures, he shouldn't be in this business."
I was on the edge of my seat, hungry for the next crazy bat-shit thing to come out of his mouth. He did not disappoint. BEST MEETUP EVER!9 -
Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with
Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent6 -
me: "ah, my scraper is nearly done - just need some final tweaks"
coworker: "JuSt FrOm LoOkInG aT yOuR ScReEn A fEw TiMeS tOdAy, I cAn TeLl YoU iT wOnT wOrK"
me, infuriated by his idiot mentality but not trying to start anything: "ah, its fine, I've already scraped 3000+ entities"
coworker: "but it wont work."
me: "but... its working..."
coworker: "but it won't work."
me: "ok."
sometimes its just better to just affirm the narcessistic assholes. make sure they are right.6 -
Recruiter: Why makes you leave a company?
Me: When the company don't appreciate their employees, when I have to develop a small system for them and they never use it. when they try to give me the calm down needle.
Recruiter: what is the calm down needle?
Me: It's when I come with an issue i am facing and you tell me you will fix it, and promise me its gonna happen and never do it.
Recruiter: Silence....
Me: "Keep Talking" When you promise some employee and you are not able to deliver your promise .. well, Its just better if you didn't promise him!
Recruiter: Ok, "next question"
Damn I feel like I was so mad and my answer were straight forward with no bullshit. I think I scared her.1 -
To my ex manager
you left to berlin, and left me to rot
my new lead sucks, i kid you not
it was ok if I slacked off, You used to be chill
But my new lead is uptight, he's on my list to kill
I wanna run errands in work hours, is that so bad?
was doing so for years, now i lost what i had
I cant drive in peace, coz i know he'd call
so i had to cancel plans to go to the mall
its like 10 to 6 is now constant work
I hate my new lead, he is such a jerk17 -
Boss: Oh can you add this feature?
Me: I added that function already and you said to take it out.
Boss: Can't you just copy and paste it from an earlier version?
Me: No its really not that simple, I removed a bunch of tables and went to town cleaning the code so it's super quick and "sexy fast" as you put it.
I go home, work all night and forget to eat.
nextDay++;
Boss: Actually just hold back on that, I'm having second thoughts.
When a project seems to be in an endless for (fucks sake) loop.8 -
!dev related but fucking hell I need to get this out.
Could people (including friends) fucking stop to invalidate my favourite music genre?!
'Its just too hard', 'its so aggressive', 'its only boom boom boom'
Fuck you.
Always, al-fucking-ways at every party or wherever when people are allowed to put on music, whenever I'm allowed to, my music is turned off right away.
'Sorry but not everyone likes this and you're not the only one here'
I'm sorry, WHAT? I'VE LISTENED TO STYLES I REALLY FUCKING DON'T LIKE FOR FUCKING HOURS AND I'VE SWALLOWED IT ALL. THEN AT LEAST LET ME PLAY ONE FUCKING SONG ON A WHOLE FUCKING EVENING.
And nothing against metal peoples, really not but its nearly always the metal people who put their music on all evening and keep telling how awesome metal is and the second I mention my genre or out it on: 'oh but that sucks' *switches back to metal*
Go fuck yourselves. I'm swallowing this shit every fucking time but I'm getting fucking sick of this bullshit.
By the way, my favourite genre is raw hardstyle aka rawstyle.70 -
Just discovered that one of my coworkers(well...my boss really) has the uncanny ability to detect fonts and sizes with extreme accuracy.
For some of you that may be not impressive at all and some can probably do it too. But its like...not only on websites man...she can do it on things that we see printed, menus and stuff.
That to me at least is very impressive.11 -
I was having dinner yesterday and I suddenly get a message from someone from another team.
Them: Hi
Me: Hi
(No response for 20 mins)
Them: I'm having some problem with your service. Its not working when I do <task>
Me: Okay, let me look into that.
Them: Also, <task2> is not working
Them: And <task3> has problems
Them: Could you also look into <task4>?
Me: (visibly sweating) Let's discuss this in detail in the morning.
[Next day, morning]
*convinced that the service has a major bug*
Me: Yeah, show me what is causing the problem.
They show me what they tried. Turns out they made an invalid call and got an error, AS THEY SHOULD, and reported that as a bug. And all the other tasks were because the first call didn't work.
:|5 -
Designer: Need to file a bug, I'm not getting an option to login with FaceID
Me: Oh weird bug. Is it setup on the phone you are testing with?
Designer: yes, use it in all other apps
Me: Did you get an error during onboarding on the FaceID screen?
Designer: nope no error
Me: ..... hhhmm, can you show me your settings?
Me: ... eh, says you have FaceID disabled for this app ... did you click "No" to FaceID during onboarding?
Designer: Yes, to test edge cases
Me: ................ ok ........ if you setup the app and told it to not allow FaceID to login ......... you won't get the ability to use FaceID to login .......... like .... by design .... on purpose ...... cause .... you told it to do that
Designer: No no, it needs to have a setting on the login screen to allow me to turn that back on incase I forget my passcode
Me: the fuck it does. Yeah we can't have anything on the login page that says, without authorization, change my settings
*Deep breath*
Me: Remember we had this conversation previously, where you didn't want the user to create a passcode during onboarding as it was too much friction, and wanted to do FaceID only. With your backup plan being to allow the user to create a NEW passcode on the login screen if FaceID failed .... remember that discussion we had about security? ... and how its important? ... and that we like having any? Ok so its the same reason as that, just with a different setting this time
Designer: ... hhmm i'm not sure I like this
Me: ... tough luck then, not happening
Me: oh and btw, remember we had that other talk about reproduction steps for bugs? Like when the app crashed and you told me it was because its in light mode, and nothing else at all? So disabling FaceID, is very relevant info to the problem of "I can't login with FaceID", please tell me these things first11 -
At work:
"I do not get your concerns over ssl, it works fine when we use ie"
"What do you mean by xss? A regular use would not even try ans attempt something like that"
"We need to keep the txt file with the passwords there, its an internal project, the public would not even attempt to reach our site, just put them back"
Ah the many stories that I have from this place. It is an otherwise good place to work at tho, but oh well...
Me on a daily basis tho9 -
GUI user: "How can you work from such a basic text interface like that terminal?"
Me: "How can you work with all those stupid buttons that more often than not can't do jack shit?"
Being a Powerline user, I do think that design matters a lot. But so does usability (I don't want my programs to take half a minute to load their bloated UI's) and the ability to use every feature that this or that piece of software has in its command line arguments but not necessarily as a GUI option.9 -
Data scientist: we need to whitelist a pod to connect to a database
Me: Whitelist? We don't use whitelists on private databases
DS: It's the new data warehouse database
Me: is it on <X> VPC?
DS: I'm not sure what that means but its ip is <real world ipv4>
Me: Are you hosting a publicly accessible database with all our end users information?!
DS: ...
Me: There goes our SOC2 audit controls...
DS: how long until you can white list it?
Me: I won't be whitelisting it. You need to put it on a private VPC and peer with the cluster, you'll have to rebuild all the Terraform and redeploy
DS: We didn't use Terraform because it takes too long, just white list the pods IP.
Me: No. I'm contacting the CISO and CTO...21 -
My morning (RO = remote office):
Me: Your xxx implementation is very strange.
RO: Yes we are following a new example from experts in this field. See this link.
Me: Paragraph 1, use xxx class in these situations. Were not doing that.
RO: Yes we had problems with that, we decided to skip that.
Me: Paragraph 2, always use xxx when accessing data. Were not doing that.
RO: Yes that create many bugs, we skipped that.
Me: This section on debugging says to enable this flag while in development to allow the IDE to alert you to issues.
RO: Yes this causes the app to crash constantly. So we took it out.
Me: ... because its finding issues ... and telling you where the problem is, with an error message.
... your not following the experts at all.
RO: We are!, please read the link we provided.
... this will be discussed on my exit interview6 -
Friend: Hey can you check my code, can't seen to find this one error, and i have been trying for hours now.
Me: Just one error?
Friend: Ya, just one. And it i am not in a hurry, check it whenever you can.
Me: *understanding the pain of not finding that one fucking error*
Cool, just send me the code i ll check it tonight.
Later that night i check the code, debugg that error, shit ton of more error pop up.
Me: Well i have solved the one error, now i can just hand over the rest of the code to the guy so he can take care of the rest, its not like i am responsible or aything. HOWEVER, maybe i can solve few more, just for fun, i can't just let this code get the better of me.
*ends up clearing all the error after a lomg night*4 -
8:50am aight alarm clock, give me 5 more minutes
8:55am ok lets round it to 9, wake me up then
9:00am aight enough. lets just sleep for 1 more minute since 9:00 is too round
9:43am fuck
9:44am ok its time to finally study for the upcoming college exam
9:45am nothing but a fresh day to start studying for college
9:46am eh i dont have a lot to study so I'll do it in 2pm, I'll code my project instead
2pm hold on 5 more minutes until i finish coding this feature and then I'll study
5pm where the fuck is this bug coming from
5:504pm goddamn i found it
6:36pm holy shit its already over 6pm, I'll study at night
7:42pm ok its night now, time to study but I'll do it when i fix all bugs
8:14pm ok bugs fixed, commit. lets study
8:15pm you know what, im way too tired and exhausted from this coding, I'll take a short 30 minute break and then I'll study
10:15pm ok im feeling fresh bois lets study now theres not too much
1:31am damn this movie was good
1:32am fuck i forgot to study, I'll do it tomorrow
2:10am *posts this rant*6 -
FUCK!!! FUCK IT ALL. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRAPPY BULLSHT UNDOCUMENTED AND OUTDATED API.
YOUR DATABASE SERVER BACK-END HAS TO BE THE ONE MANAGING THE DISPLAY DATA FOR ITS WEB AND MOBILE CLIENTS. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, DAMN IT.
I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE ALL DAY HARD-CODING ALL YOUR SERVER'S INADEQUACY.
MAKES ME WONDER DO YOU EVER USE DESIGN PATTERNS OR APPLY DESIGN PRINCIPLES? DRY AT LEAST? DON'T FUCKING REPEAT YOURSELF, DAMN IT.
I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE FOR GOOD.6 -
Our working hours are from 9 to 6 which is the standard in Malaysia (I'm not malaysian )
Yesterday I came in around 10AM and my boss took me to his room as soon as I arrived.
Boss: If you were in school and you come late what do you expect to happen ?
Me: get punished, I'll compensate by working an extra hour today.
Boss: well our clients aren't available at your extra hour and I'm struggelling with a big client you're supposed to ship the rest of his site and golive today and he's freaking out
Me: yh well his site is done it just needs final QA before going live.
Boss: oh its done already?, cool cool. Anyway you shouldn't be late you're not Malaysian and being late doesn't run in your genes like them.
*ops manager (Malaysian) walks in*
*boss confused*
*ops manager looks him in the eye*
*boss looks at the ground*
* me giggling while walking to my desk*3 -
Me - Lately, been working on Node.js, its fun.
Friend - Oh but it doesnt scale well, I hate that language.
Me - why do you think so? and its a VM, JS is the language.
Friend - Cos it doesnt scale, i heard from others.
Me - wut.
I fucking hate people who fucking blindly hate a technology / programming language.
Motherfuck, whats with these idiots blindly hating languages?
Every lang has its own use cases, why cant these twats understand that.
You use a tech as per needs, its not a fucking make-up.7 -
Note to self: never ever touch the bugzapper that's busy zapping a mosquito! Always remember that there's well over a 1000 volts on there regardless of its power rating. Anything over 50V can kill you!
.. if only my drunken fool self would realize that. Seriously though.. the kick of a bugzapper's shock, it's amazing! Just like drugs however, don't try it at home. Oh well. At least not me but yet another mosquito has bitten the duster. Serves those parasitic bitches right!!!23 -
Legends -> I: Interviewer
I: what is mvc architecture
Me: model.. view.. controller... and blah blah
I: mvc is not an architecture.. its a design pattern.. architecture is blah blah
I: srry U r rejected.. god bless you
Me: 😥😢
after 1hr
Me: googled 'Is mvc a design pattern or architectural pattern'
Google: shows stack overflow link
Stackoverflow: mvc is architectural pattern blah blah... accepted answer
Me: hopeless about my future
GOD BLESS THE INTERNET and SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS17 -
Oooh, got one. Not a question, but a mind-blowing moment:
For some reason, my parents put my email address on one of their accounts, and it was an old one that I had stopped using years ago. Then, this conversation with my parents happens, at their home with the laptop I gave them sitting open on the table:
me: "you guys should probably give them your email address."
mom: "we don't have one."
me: "what about dad's?"
dad: "no, I don't have an email address."
me: "you used to have one. what happened to it?"
dad: "that one was at the library. I don't have one here."
me: 😑
My father apparently doesn't know the basic concept of the internet and its global nature.2 -
Me: takling to a colleague on Skype for business
My 3 year old son: what are you doing?
Me: talking on the phone
Son: that's not a phone
Me: ... That's right, it's called Skype. But its' executable is called lync.exe. It's just trying to pretend to be Skype. Repeat after me: lync
Son: lync
Me: great! Stay away from lync. It's evil!6 -
Me: Can I have PhpStorm please.
Company: Is it free?
Me: No, but it's the best php IDE out there. It's a huge productivity boost and also helps avoiding bugs while refactoring.
Company: Nope. Use Zend Studio 9.
Me: Why?
Company: We paid money for it like two years ago.
Me: <contemplating life and my decision to ever work there>
To whomever it may concern: Zend Studio is the commercial brother of Eclipse PDT, which also is one of the most shittiest idea out there. Almost as bad as Netbeans for php.
You have all the problems you had with eclipse, and none of the features of phpstorm. Zend Studio does not help you to get work done. It is a constant hindrance, everything you achieve you achieve despite its usage.19 -
I used to work in a call center for a local hospital.
One night, all of our lines are swamped. Literally no time for a break between phone calls, +15 minute wait times. I answer the next call:
Me: "Its a marvelous Monday at AskIT, how may I help you?"
Doctor: "This is Dr. [Noone Care]. I need you to fix my password now."
Me: "Absolutely! You should be able to enter a new password now."
Doctor: "MY HANDS ARE NOT FOR PASSWORDS, MY HANDS ARE FOR SURGERY!"
😩 So glad I don't work for doctors anymore. Oh and the best part is, he had selected the general phone queue, rather than the doctor queue (~3 minute wait time instead).7 -
Had a discussion with a developer about security. His software transfers all user data (password and files) unencrypted, so anyone can grab them with wireshark. I told him that this is a severe issue. He said no its no problem because if you get hacked its your own fault, because you probably used an insecure network. NO ! YOU FUCKING MALADJUSTED SHEEP-MOLESTING OBJECT OF EXECRATION, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ENCRYPT SENSITIVE USERDATA NO MATTER WHAT NETWORK YOU USE. FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY.
Not implementing encryption is one thing but then acting like its no problem is a fucking nother one. Why do people not understand that security of userdata is important???11 -
Dev checked in code (I suspect purposely not inviting me on the code review invite) saying he "fixed" the authentication bug in the web service.
Um no, like I told you last week, the authentication error is because the load balancer wasn't passing the user's authentication to IIS.
If I didn't overhear him telling a user "Still getting the error? I don't know, we might have to re-write that service", he might have gotten away with it.
Me: "Wait, that doesn't sound right. If I hit the server directly, authentication works. Its an issue with the load balancer, not the service"
Dev: "Admin said the load balancer is fine and it has to be the service."
Me: "I don't buy it. IIS is returning the authentication error, not the service."
Dev: "I added exception handling and nothing is being logged. Must be something in the service configuration."
Me: "No, IIS performs the authentication, not the service. I explained that last week, remember?"
Dev: "Oh yea. What changes do we need to make to the service?"
<my blood pressure starts to spike>
Me: "None. Give me a sec.."
<we have other apps on the same server farm that work just fine, so I re-configure the service pool settings to match theirs>
Me: "See, now going through the load balancer, the service works fine. For some reason, the admin had our service set up differently."
Dev: "OK, I'll let the users know the service is fixed."
Me: "Service was never broke and I'm not leaving it in its current state. In the morning I'll talk to the admin and see what he can do to fix."6 -
!dev
My mental health has been down the drain b'cuz of circumstances. And unfunnily, it did end up taking the better of me. yet folks around me still do not believe it's a thing that people don't want to live anymore; rather it's a "childish" thing and "are you so weak" thing.
And I'm just gonna tell you, if you ever said that to someone who feels like the world is coming to an end for them, you're an unbearable ass, and you're probably one reason that person wants to off themself.
Living around some people is just torture on its own.7 -
while we were in the car...
mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job3 -
My friend and boss,told me he would teach me code 2 years in a half ago.
I didnt know what css or html was and i used to call java javascript.
I can know create my own module with webpack, have my automated doc, use react, redux, he taught me linux, git,unit testing, databases,docker, and so on...
Im not an expert in any of it butbi know what they are for and can play with them more or less comfortably.
The best advice he ever gave me was:
“coding is not about coding. We are like the greath painters of history. They were great at painting but even more at creating. If you have no creativity, you can paint as well as you want, its worthless.”2 -
"I need these permissions that J has"
J has those permissions because he worked on a different team that was granted those, you do not.
"I need it"
No
"I need it"
Its not within my power to allow you access, you have to talk with R and M.
"Okay well guess what I'm gonna escalate this up thr chain and its gonna come down on you"
*sigh* what do i do when i literally have no authority to give someone something and am clearly doing my jobb right, but someone thinks they can get me... idk... in trouble? Threaten me??? Logic, meet the window4 -
New to this but here's my rant I suppose. It bothers me how "non-tech" people kind of devalue what tech people do. Like they have zero understanding of it, so you make something in 30 minutes or an hour that took years of building said skills and involved complex logic and understanding of relational data and because it only took you 30 minutes or an hour it must have been "easy". Or the way you are everybody's free tech advisor with family and friends... And things are said like "I'm not good with this stuff, but you're so good with it". For the record nobody is just "great" at technology or coding from birth its been a 2+ decade craft that I've experimented with and learned and put effort into. So taking into consideration all this effort I have put in to understand all this you say you'll never remember to push that button so you'll just ask me again when the problem arises. Yes because its so fun for me to constantly maintain your electronics because you can't bother to remember to push a button.5
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$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!7 -
At work, me and my guys don't say "you have my attention" we say "you have my erection"
Yeah, its juvenile, and in poor taste, but to us its fricking hilarious.
Anyway, at any meeting when someone says "attention please" we always start giggling like fucking morons.
We basically substituted the word "attention" for "erection" and the only thing that we fear is using it in public. My guys seldom have to speak in public, I do most of the talking as their manager.
It falls on me to not say it at the wrong place, and the wrong time.
That is not reassuring to me. But I wonder how much longer can I keep going without messing that one up.15 -
Oh yeah, that's an awesome 404 page, what do you guys say?
P.S. - Page is not developed by me, it's MailChimp2 -
One of my top 10 worst meetings, was for an interview for a job I really wanted. The guy started off the technical interview by asking me about language features that had been replaced since before I started learning the language. Told him when I started learning and his reply was:
"Yeah I see that on your CV, but come on, you MUST know this stuff".
eh no asshole, because its been removed for 4 years, you MUST know its not relevant10 -
Me to my family :
Family: so this printer not working
Me: have you installed its software
Family: no, can you do it?
Me: i could travel 1 hour or you can just google and download it, its really quite simp--
Family: yeah this is to complicated for me il need you to come over10 -
A senior developer come to interrupt me.
Senior developer: blah...blah....blah about this concept...... that concept... So, any new things you learn lately that you would like to share?
Me: I am learning back C++
Immediately he stop me and said, "Why did you learn C++? It is obsolete, no one use it anymore"
Me (in my head): But, you just said what I learn. It doesn't matter if its obsolete or not. Infact you are wrong, C++ is not obsolete anytime soon. I was about to share on webassembly.
Senior developer: So, would you like to join me in a short sharing session this afternoon.
Me: No thanks, I am really busy (just want to avoid at any cost)8 -
The fuck did you think was going to happen?
User: ITs dragging their feet which is why x hasn't gone out yet.
PM: Why hasn't this gone out yet?
Me: They sent me a template then another and then said wait that's wrong too I'll send you the correct one.
I've yet to receive this and no one's provided me the data to check over.
PM: Well that's not what x said.
Me: Well my email chain says so. (Proceed to show them the emails)
PM then walks off and blasts the users. Your #blamegame ended the moment you emailed me knob shits. -
I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it never fails to drive me nuts, and customers never stop doing it, so:
Why do end users think "it's broken" is all they have to put into the support ticket?
It's a web app, not a goddamn pretzel.
If the turn signal on your car stops working, do you drop your car off at the mechanic, hand them the keys, and say "its broken, fix it!"?
While I'm on the topic, "I tried to do {x} and it gave an error" is better than "its broken", but still: why do you think what the actual error says would be completely irrelevant, especially when we put in the effort to give you relatively meaningful error messages?
I mean, is "there was a problem sending the email" so utterly gibberish to you that it is indistinguishable from "error: 0x000351e6"?
If so, I'm sorry, but you're too stupid to use a goddamn computer!5 -
Hello DevRant, im a junior cloud consultant and this is my story:
Last monday a salesman, i call him bob, informed me that he planned me in a project starting next week. So far so good despite im currently working already in an other project....
I tried to explain him that its impossible to be on two locations at the same time.
His answer was quite funny because he said its my problem and he promised this the customer a month ago (without asking me or looking into my calendar)
As you can imagine the customer was not happy when i contacted him, to say him that the project could not start before may.
Of course this escalated to the managing director of my company. Bob tried to made it look that it was my fault.
After a long rant mail, where i told my story and about our incompetent salesforce i got a reply from him that he is sorry and a forced excuse mail from bob.
Happy End3 -
Me: don't limit yourself! Learn more than one thing, experiment and learn more.
Devrant: don't use x. X is a piece of shit and its not worth it. This is better, and you are wrong.
I hate highly opinionated people. Devrant seems to be full of them.
I seriously believe this is why people like AlexDelarge left. Sooo many punchable motherfuckers up in this bitch man.
"Fucking leave then" ----> go fuck yourself. This platform is great. Some of y'all are great. Having frustrated virgins lurking around does not mean that all of us that like fucking around in here needs to leave.19 -
Gets run over by truck. Laptop in peaces. Insurrance needed to be sure it was actually broken. Sends laptop to a repair center. They tell me its broken. Repair center asks if I want my laptop back. I said: yes pls. Get laptop back. RAM stolen SSD stolen. Reee! They forgot to send it back..... I mean, you did not have to take out those parts to see it i broken.12
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Worst code review experience?
Hard to pick just one, but most were in a big meeting room with 4+ other developers not related to the project and with some playing Monday-Morning-Quarterback instead of offering productive feedback.
In one code review, the department mgr reviewed the code from a third party component library.
<brings up the code on the big screen>
Mgr: "I can't read any of this, its a mix of English and something else."
Me: "Its German."
Mgr: "Then why is 'Button' in English? This code is a mess."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure how I should respond, I mean, I didn't write any of this code."
Mgr: "Yes, but you are using it, so it's fair game for a code review."
Me: "Its not really open source, but we can make requests if you found something that needs to be addressed."
Mgr: "Oh yes, all this...whatever this is..<pointing again to the German>"
Me: "I don't think they will change their code to English just so you can read it."
Mgr: "We paid good money, you bet your ass they'll change it!"
Me: "I think the components were like $30 for the unlimited license. They'll tell us to go to hell first. Is there something about my code you want to talk about?"
Mgr: "<Ugggh>...I guess not, I couldn't get past all that German. Why didn't we go with an American company? Hell, why didn't we just write these components ourselves!?"
Me: "Because you gave a directive that if we found components that saved us time, to put in a request, and you approved the request. The company is American, they probably outsourced or hired German developers. I don't know and not sure why we care."
Mgr: "Security! What if they are sending keystrokes back to their servers!"
Me: "Did you see any http or any network access?"
Mgr: "How could I? The code is in German!"
Monday-Morning-Quarterback1: "If it were me, I would have written the components myself and moved on"
Me: "No, I don't think you could for less than $30"
Monday-Morning-Quarterback2: "Meh...we get paid anyway. Just add the time to the estimate."
Mgr: "Exactly! Why do we even have developers who can't read this mess."
Me: "Oh good Lord! Did anyone review or even look at my code for this review!?"
<silence>
Mgr: "Oh...ok...I guess we're done here. Thanks everyone."
<everyone starts to leave>
Me: "Whoa!...wait a sec..am I supposed to do something?"
Mgr: "Get that company to write their code in English so we can read it. You have their number, call em'...no...wait...give me their number. You keep working, I'll take care of this personally"
In they nicest way possible, the company did tell him to go to hell.18 -
Once upon a time, there were a restaurant called "iEat.tech.com".
It was a small single-location place, where the sufficient number of patrons could be served by the cozy number of employees.
In fact, headcount was so lean that the cook was also the one who washed all the dishes.
But then came the suits and their "VC"(daddy) money and scaled shit up.
Soon, there were so many patrons that the dishes started to pile up the sink, never washed.
"We need someone to wash the dishes!" said the cook
"Fuck you, you wash the dishes!" said the s*its
Naturally, the cook left soon after.
The s*its had a problem now. They could not replace the cook fast enough - all other cooks were either young, inexperienced and mediocre (but did clean the dishes), or refused to waste their time on the sink.
So the suits did what $*its always do - they got a fucking consultant. Who told them to get a fucking dishwashing machine and billed them the GDP of Ireland.
The s*is, of course, did not want to buy a dishwashing machine. "Our fucking process is too fucking disruptive for us to use a fucking store-bought mass-produced metal servant!" (s*its don't know what "machines" are. For them, it's all in terms of "servants", employees and machines alike).
So the s*its hired an engineer to "solve the fucking dish problem, once and for all".
The engineer quickly started measuring and drawing and calculating. The engineer was about to prepare a budget when the s*its came screaming "What the fuck are you doing? There is a fucking pile of dishes in the sink!"
The engineer replied that "I'm designing the machine!", to what the s*its responded "don't bring me fucking problems, bring me solutions!" (or some other s*it blabber)
So the engineer quickly designed an efficient dishwashing assembly line to be done in half the time most people would. And then went back to designing the machine.
But the s*its were having none of it. They kept expanding and expanding and doing what they could so that the engineer never had a moment to work on the machine. They dit it so surreptitiously that no one barely even noticed, but one day they were paying a team of engineers to be fucking human dishwashers.
Now replace "dishes" with "Jira tickets" or "quick fixes" or "tiny changes" and fix other terms accordingly.
Fucking s*its.10 -
Do managers not fucking understand that Jira is meant to eliminate all this stupid "What's the status with X?", and "Is Y done yet?" chatter. Our communication channels should be on business logic and other global updates about the company, not about fucking workflow status updates because you have nothing else to do with your day but ping me every 5 minutes.
LOOK AT THE REVIEW COLUMN ON JIRA. I MEAN ITS LITERALLY CALLED REVIEW. SO REVIEW IT AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.
I swear the devs consistently have a better overview on timelines and project status than management does - which is sad, because this is literally the definition of management!!!18 -
Me: 'im doing frontend here, i wont bother with the server stuff'
Pm: 'ok'
...
Me: 'here i finished the full stack because the backend team is a bunch of jackasses'
Pm: 'did you set up the server?'
...
Me: 'no because its not my job'
Pm: 'you have to do it'
Sometimes it makes me wonder if he even knows how programming works.14 -
I had a professor in college who was "the expert in java programming language". He had a unique way of teaching.
P: So you save your java file and run this command.
*Some error occurs*
Me: But this is showing some error
P: Exactly. I wanted to show this exact same error so that you learn that this is not how its done. I will let you figure it out how its done and it will be your assignment for the day. Class dismissed.4 -
So i just wanted to say thank you. Everyone on devrant.
It became a safe place for me to rant about stuff, getting feedback from awesome people and so much more. Also i learned some things on dR that making my (dev)life better!
Most important devrant is making me feel way better, when you read about people having the same struggles.
But not only the rants are making this awesome. Its every single one of you.
Thank you, stay awesome!2 -
A client asked us today to disable TLS 1.0 and 1.1 across their servers.
Its not often that I say this. But this makes me proud. It's a good client. Going with the changin times. I wish all clients were like this one.
RIP TLS 1.0/1.1, took you long enough.2 -
Getting told that technology is bullshit and that humans have forgotten how to interact with each other (meaning being social) by people from the same age bracket that throw a fit because they can't use said technology is both hilarious and infuriating.
Seriously, aren't these old farts more concerned with things such as starbucks not putting "merry Christmas" on their fucking red cups? Am I supposed to take their shit seriously? No the fuck I am not, and neither should you.
If your old ass can't work how your fucking smartphone works, or have a haaaaard time trying to select Netflix from your smart tv app selection then the problem is not my generation. Its your dumbass for not keeping up.
Its fine if you don't want to use technology, fuck if I care. But you ain't winning this shit because of your preferences regarding technology.
Also, telling me that I am wrong for wearing my headphones at the gym to shut people off. Wtf dude, not everyone wants to fucking talk to others all the time, specially during gym time. I am there to work out and get sexy af, not to ask you how your fucking day went, I don't know u, i don't want to know you, you already showed me how fucking close minded and uninteresting you can be, why the fuck should I give that shit a chance?
Fuck outta here with that shit. He went on to tell me that software is made by people with 0 social skills. Booooooy I would have your granddaughter(she is my age) any day of the fucking week and you can tell me if we lack "social skills"
Foh13 -
Just curious, how is it like to work as a developer. I mean, as a profession and not a hobby or freelancing.
From devRant, so far I know that you work in an office, the managers and bosses are assholes, and people always write unmanageable and undocumented code.
What else is it like? Do you get to work alone or do you have to work with people? Do you stay there all day long?
I know its still going to be a while for me, but I want to know how it will be like.24 -
Backend: Sorry the fix we had isn't going to work. Turns out app is sending an "undelivered" status after you call the API where you claimed we had an issue. This is in fact the cause, please address it.
Me: We do not have an "undelivered" status anywhere in our codebase. We do not do this.
Backend: *CC product* turns out this issue is only affecting 0.1% of users, its very minimal. Lets push ahead with the release.
Product: Ok, lets go live.
Me: ... ... ... we all just gonna ignore that "undelivered" bullshit? ... ok ... very stable release, here we go.3 -
Recruiter: Hi practiseSafeHex, you were speaking to one of my colleagues recently and I know at the time you said you weren't interested in interviewing with us. I just wanted to check is that still the case?
Me: Yes I haven't changed my mind since last week. You still have awful things on your glassdoor page for my country, and its still a role / area i'm not interested in. Please read my responses and please fuck off2 -
So just finished the presentation for my internship project. I'm free now!(and can sleep normal times too) But I have a few things I need to get off my mind. Dunno if it'll seem a bit stupid to some of you..but yeahh....
Anyway, during my demo yesterday
Lecturer: So this project of yours uses some open-source stuff?
Me: Yeah.
L: And if the company wants to use if for commercialization they need to pay for the license?
M: Thats basically it. Yes.
L: Well, see..thats the problem with your project. You need to think of all this things. If there's no other options then just code the whole shit yourself. Or maybe discuss with the management on this.
Yeah...see, I doubt the management here cares about us anyway. Oh, you're working on your intern stuff. Not important. Just resize the pictures in my powerpoint will you? Oh and you want to use the company computers for your project? No can do..confidentiality stuff. But make sure the thing will work on our system anyway when you're done with it. And even if you use our computers, they restart everytime you open Word anyway..hahaha. You want access to this thing so you can learn a bit on our company's work. Sorry but no. EVERYTHING is confidential so you can't access it since you're interns, eventhough our company is the one that took you inanyway.
Manager: Oh, the thing you're making is pretty cool. You know,all of you can just give your systems to us later.
Friend: Yeah well, maybe we can ask the company for payment? Haha.
Manager: Hahaha well the company can just take your systems for free since you're doing it on our working hours.
Fuck. You. When we ask to do our stuff you said noooo its the company hours. Do our work. And do your stuff back at home or something. Oh, but then we'll drag you around the state to see the clients, and you'll reach home at 8-9pm or something, but of course you're not tired right? So just code then. Or you're not going anywhere today? You're still not allowed to code here eventhough you don't have any work though...so just sit there and be quiet. Or maybe shred my papers for me. Fuck your working hours.
Lecturer: And well, thats the problem with some students *looks pointedly at me* they want to go to non-technical companies so that they can have it easy. Your friends who go to other companies will learn a lot more.
Do you think I fucking want to be here??? This is the only company I got so fuck that. Even when I get different offers and apply to change companies, you go nope. No can do. Stick with your current company eventhough we know that its shit for IT students because its a big company, see? And we have our university's reputation to upkeep. I came here to learn, not make you the No.1 university or something. And its not like you, or the staffs here, help us with anything.
So fuck all of this. We're gonna tell the other lecturers to stop sending students here. You don't learn anything. I'm done with this shit, not gonna think or worry about it anymore..I'll just, go get cake or something. Yeah.3 -
I work for Google and Facebook.
Well... is that really true?
Uh... well, does a cow work for a farmer?
Hmmm... not really voluntarily... the cow just kinda gets milked and then the farmer sells its milk.
Yeah. That’s what I do. They milk me for my attention - and then they sell that to corporate advertisers.
Yeah... Hmmm... well, I guess you do work for them... but you don’t get paid...
I can still put it on my resume though, right?10 -
Soo much fun working for a cunt as a boss:
B: We getting soo close now, the plane is coming in to land.
Me: Yes, but the engine is busy falling off
B: Well, if we miss the deadline, its only us to blame.
NO YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT, ITS YOU, ONLY YOU, 100% ENTIRELY YOU YOU SHIT FACED DUCK DICK.
Context:
We are on version 8 of our deadline, which was initially March, our next and final extension ends next Friday, we are this fucked ebcause all he fucking does is make bad descisions and pointless changes, we been telling hims once October to stop making changes if we ever want ot make the deadline.
Directly after he vommited that poes out of his mount he goes on to detail the massive change to the data structure that only needs to be changed as he refused ot listen to the developer when they told him not to do it that way 3 months ago.
How is it even possible that someone this moronic and incompitent can actualyl exist on planet earth. He is not even a flat earther.1 -
Why do devs hate windows (and all its products) so much? I mean yaa okay it is a shit os for you to get your development thingies done. Yaa I know its not open source. Yaa I know its not free. Yaa I know a lot of malwares are targetted towards windows. Yaa I know it takes decades to install updates which are released almost every week. And so on....
But wasnt windows the first operating system you laid your hands on? I mean me being a 90s born kid from India, Windows 98 was my first operating system and I was really in love with it as a teenager. MS paint was my playground and I used to go berserk over there. I mean come on. Being a teenager and knowing nothing about how a computer actually works, would you have been able to figure out how to run an NFS on linux? All the kickass presentations made in power point were so in during that time. The first code I ever wrote was in turbo C running on Windows XP. So whoever is bashing Windows and any of their products is a shit person because though Windows is not meant for developers (that too only some) it is a great operating system and I will always root for it in any forum/post where it is being bashed or criticized about. Not a Windows fan-boy (I dont known if there is even such a thing) but Windows is best for non-devs.21 -
Okay, Google. I can see why you want me to check those boxes with cars. And I'm also fine with you telling me to do it on a different picture if the first one didnt had any, just to check. But WHAT I AM FUCKING NOT OKAY WITH, IS ME SOLVING CAPTCHAS FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES REPETEDLY SAYING PLEASE TRY AGAIN AND THEN TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT EVEN ABLE TO TRY AGAIN BECAUSE OF AN DETECTED ATTEMPT OF BOTTING? WHO ARE YOU? AN AI QUESTONING MY HUMAN IDENTITY? JUST BECAUSE IM USING LINUX YOU DECIDE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER NOTHERFUCKING BATCH OF STREET SIGNS? YOU CAN STICK THOSE STREET SIGNS UP YOUR ASS! FUCK OFF!
tl;dr: i got banned from solving recaptchas the second time this week. lets hope its just *another* timeout.8 -
Not dev but worth ranting.
It’s important to know that I am a wheelchair driver.
It was Saturday evening and I was waiting for my friends.
All of the sudden a random woman approached me. Putted her hand on my shoulder and says:
In your next life you will be Running around!
Jesus holds his promises!
I was to confused to say anything... do you guys have a good idea on how to react?
I have to deal with similar stuff quiet often!
ITS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!
WHAT THE FUCK GIVES EVERYONE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME STUFF LIKE THAT WITHOUT KNOWING JACKSHIT ABOUT MY LIFE?
I don’t think I need nor deserve their pity!8 -
I cannot wait to leave my job. I love my bosses, but the customer service people are the fucking worst!
Since I'm the only developer day in and day out I hear the same problems of people forgetting how to do so something over and over and over. Then they yell at me because they say I don't train them enough.
I WASTE 8 HOURS A WEEK RETRAINING YOU SHIT HEADS BUT NONE OF YOU TAKE NOTES IN THE MEETINGS!!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT IF YOU THINK YOU PEA SIZED BRIAN WILL REMEMBER ANYTHING!
AND ITS NOT LIKE THE SYSTEM IS HARD! THERE ARE TOOLTIPS AND CUSTOM ERROR MESSAGES THAT YOU JUST CHOOSE NOT TO READ!
I am just so burned out of answer the same damn questions day in and day out3 -
Im not dead yet (dunno about next week), for those that knew me here when I was around, but I really wanted to come to a place I know I could get some comments about it, but what the whole IT/Tech world right now?
Python and its CoC shenanigans
Linus leaving
Mozilla telemetry spying on you https://reddit.com/r/linux/...
And so on and on, the ride isnt over yet, right? (it never is, it only gets more fun from here on baby)question bsd works too linus it you had a change to stop it gentoo richard stallman open source trueos looks cool if you have an nvidia gpu install it had it5 -
I was told by my manager that I (the guy hired to be the lead developer on this project) was not a developer I was a designer and that writing php instead of using a knockoff version of dreamweever to drag and drop all of the items was an "unsecure and unsafe practice". He screamed at me for another 30 mins over this and then sent me on my way and laid me off a week and a half later after I finished the project because "we can't afford you" I was doing ITS, network and service installs, security, and web development for $10.00 an hour. #stupidboss4
-
Who the fuck at Microsoft decided to put python on their store? I don’t care if it’s on the store. What I do give many shits about is that I spent 20 minutes uninstalling and reinstalling and reconfiguring my fucking PATH because the python & python3 commands did not work but instead SENT ME TO THE FUCKING STORE PAGE FOR PYTHON 3.7
THEN I FIND OUT ITS NOT A PROBLEM WITH THE PATH MICROSOFT PURPOSELY CREATED ALIASES FOR BOTH COMMANDS SO THEY HAVE TO SEND YOU TO THE STORE PAGE WHEN YOU TYPE python OR python3 INTO THE CMD OR POWERSHELL.
I turned it off after finding that out, but I’m still furious. Fuck Windows.22 -
User: Hey, we got a big issue with one of your tools. One of your pages isn't loading.
Me: Ok, so when did this happen?
User: We don't know? Its been like that for a long time though, so we thought it was normal 😃
Me: ....ok. So do you know what data is supposed to appear?
User: Uhhh we're not sure as well. Since, you know, its been like that for a while.
Just great 😑4 -
Made a Website.
What this friendly old Lady wanted: a update to her poem/song website that looked horrible.
What she got: A goddamn masterpiece considering there is NO backend and I got nearly no ressources to work with.
It took forever to put that stuff together since I thought I dont need any frameworks at all. I didnt know PHP at all back then, so I just went all out with everything that pure HTML and CSS could give me.
I even went outside to make nice photos to put into the Background.
....so, he said no PHP or anything? YES! If you wanna add content you change the HTML and upload stuff via Filezilla. I dont really want to see it ever again. But not because it looks bad.
I know, its not really coding since its HTML but I Count this!rant html counts here wk182 please dont hate me not even a script kiddy wannabe webdesigner mistakes were made1 -
Lead Dev: Could you please make blahblah for us to use while making blah?
Me: Sure, np
Me: (to friend) hey could i test the connection for blahblah on ur pc
Friend: Sure, not doing anything anyway
Me: Thanks!
Me: Finds issues, fixes, and finishes blahblah
Me: Can i just borrow ur pc one more time
Friend: Ok... looks like its working
( i leave the room to fix small bug )
Lead Dev: (Friend) just showed me blahblah,he really did a good job on it
Me: ... Oh, yeah, he didnt rlly do anything though.. I just needed his pc to test it
Lead Dev: oh yeah, but, yknow he really did a good job on it, im sure u did too..
Me: ...2 -
PM: Hey listen, client sent us his feedback about the app that we need to fix, they wont take time.
Me: Sure no problem.
5 Minutes later:
*Receives email*
*checks email*
15 easy tasks that take not time to finish BUT they are put inside ONE FUCKING TASK ON JIRA! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT! 15 IN ONE YOU DUMB FUCK!
MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS AND WRITE EACH IN ITS OWN MOTHERFUCKING TASK!
Another reason on why I hate humans -_-1 -
I fucking hate college beyond the point i can descibe and i regret my life away for the day i started the fucking college i am now year 5 with 5 exams left and i can not fucking pass this fucking usless BULLSHIT its so fuckimg usless and i COULDNT GIVE A FUCK EVEN IF YOU PAY ME TO LEARN THIS I JUST DONT GIVE A F U C K YOU MOTHERCUCKEMJKSKSKEEUEIEEIEUDJSJJSJJSJEKAIQOQOAOQPPSOCMCMCME ECXKSOOWOWISIESIIZIISIJSS E.D.XNXHCNFBFHHDDHXHDHXHHDDDNJDKALOOEOWISJSJWJJWWISIXJXBVNNSNSKEK19
-
Clients don't know what they want!
Was handed a detailed report and asked if I could create a webpage to dynamically generate the same thing from our database. Sure its ez ps lemon squeezy.
Simple page and database query. Boom, done. Exactly matched what they gave me.
They ask why some of the data isn't there. Uh well you cunts it wasn't on the original report...so it's not there obviously.1 -
ajax hell/dom hell
do you know it? no dont talk abut the callback hell.
i fcking hate it when i load any modern site, and it needs a few seconds to calc some stuff, xhr this, calc that, dom/css visible that. at all it takes more time specially if you on low end to mid equipmemt.
And then you think its finally loaded, you want to click or tab something and then another xhr was Finished, dom/css changed, and the button i was about to Click moved and i click something else.
friends of me hates this to.
so please dear webdevs, stop try to be cool and fancy just because you found out how "cool" conditions in css and dom is. stop using that bullshit angular (and so on) bullshit if you cant manage to pull out a html at start that will not changr its layout all the time after being loaded, ty.9 -
Me: *browsing devRant*
Friend who's on every Social Media paltform: what's that?
Me: devRant
Friend: *taking out phone* I need to join
Me: its for developers
Friend: *putting back phone in pocket* Ooh
Me: *grinning wildy in my sweet little heart* *yes you piece of shit. This one's not for you*
It feels good to have a corner thats not for everyone3 -
When your co-worker thinks the Onion is a legit publication and believes in all its tech news 😁
"OMG Google puts metal chips in their developers' heads, thats why they are so efficient"
Me: ok :|
"Artificial intelligence is real and it has taken over the world, all world leaders are bots"
Me: ok :|
"Obama is not a real person but a robot and he is not just ruling America but the world"
Me: sweet :|
"Even Lisa Ann is not real"
Me: FUCK YOU, Dont fuckin kill my wet dreams6 -
Ever since i was a little boy, i was fascinated by the stars in the sky and what made them shine. I used to wonder how our universe came in to being. What made it what it is today. What will happen to it long after we re gone. Will it die? Will it live forever? How big is it? Why is it big if it s big and why is it small if it s small. "God did it" was never a satisfying answer for me. God does not play dice as Albert Einstein said. So many questions went through my 10 12 year old mind. Until someone recommended to me the book, "A brief history of time". The book answered a lot of my questions and gave birth to more. Computer science is like my crush. I love it as a friend. But Astrophysics, its the true love of my life. It not only quenches my thirst, but it satisfies my curiosity, while making me more curious. Its an endless cycle. It teaches us that we came from the stars, we go back in the dirt, and only to be returned to the stars again.
Stephen Hawking, his work, his books, taught me so much. Inspired me. Made me more curious. And today the world has truly lost, one of its greatest people.
You will be missed Sir Hawking. RIP. -
It's official, I've come full circle:
"I assume you're not looking for a new opportunity right now, but do you know anybody that might be interested, or do you have someone to refer?"
Yes, let me do more work for you, even though you aren't interested in me at the moment. Shameless linking to a previous post which is the same: https://devrant.com/rants/5404347/...
At this point, I'm convinced its going to repeat until about 2050 when the entire software industry comes to a complete and catastrophic standstill.3 -
I love that its 2024, and yet sometimes you still have to delete the /bin and /obj folders from a C# project to remove build errors that are in fact, not build errors...
...and people here hate node.js / npm
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
but come on down in the comments all you C# worshippers and please enlighten me what I am doing wrong... definitely couldn't be C# right?
also explain why 'clean' must not REALLY mean clean 🤡17 -
Bloody Windows kept waking up after a few seconds of being suspended. Someone here mentioned it could be the mouse, so I disabled its function to wake the pc . And you know what? That piece of trash windows still kept waking up for no reason. Makes me angry.
So I found this magic command 'powercfg/lastwake', which shows the reason for the last wake. And look at that! The fucking realtek network shitcard is allowed to wake windows.
Why would windows enable that on its own? Why? Because I for sure did not make this change and suspend was working for me until a few months ago (yes, these kind of problems take me very long to fix, even though it would tske only two minutes).3 -
!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.
Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...
A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.
A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....
game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡
Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant1 -
!dev but rant
Samsung
Samsung...
Samsung!! What the fuck is wrong with you?
Some longer time ago you earned forst red red flag called knox. What the fuck you mean there is physical diode in phone that will burn out when I do whatever I want with phone? Its my phone. My. I live in europe and european law is with me. Its **MY** stuff and Im allowed to be super user so fuvk off with knox bullshit.
Okay, now, more and more phone are missing critical feature to save few cents a phone. You were last bastion. You were **that** company who was loyal to audio jacks. And why the fuck you plan to remove it? You know what? That one thing brought your phones from one of best (becouse retained audio jacks and didnt do much of notch fuckupery) to literally worst one thanks to knox.
And before anyone tells me bullshit apple tried to say "thats space saving", no its not true to point where one of their very own Iphones had internally space and traces for audio jacks. Its to save pennies on phone for profit margins and to force us to use bluetooth stuff, that I dislike. I stick to my K518 few years now and I am super happy user of it. Why y'all want to take away good stuff?
Oneplus, your turn. Why the luving fuck your big bulletpoint of marketing was "yes, we will keep loyal to audio jacks" and later down the line you shown one big fat middle finger to all users.
Goos job, guys, well fucked up.
So any good modern alternatives for my OnePlus 5 when it becomes obstole in few years? Nope. Fuck nope.
OP7 pro is awesome but no audio jacks absolutely kills off this phone in my eyes to level of not existance and inability to be considered.17 -
Look here sir. If I have raised 12 defects on the feature you were working on its not a personal attack... I am not trying to publicly humilate you or doubting your ninja coding skills. We are on the same team. Just trying to make a better product that's my job as qa. So chill out with passive aggressive comments on the tickets.
You don't hear me making a peep when you take my name and say I missed the issue if someone higher up points out the same defects.1 -
Downside of being a developer without design skills & creativity.
--
Yesterday, i created a simple food ordering app for our office. I shared it to my dev colleagues and got a decent feedback (except for the new hire). But when shared it to people like writers and graphic designers. I feel a bit off.
Graphic D: "The app should not use a blue color scheme. because blue is an UNAPPETIZING COLOR", "The yellow color is too vibrant"
Writers: They are blabbing about the grammar and spellings :(
New Hired Dev: Can you share me the codes?
** I always trying to learn how to do webdesign but i think its not really for me :(8 -
Linux is shit, OSX and iOS are trash, windows is the only OS that actually works, open source is always inferior to closed source, if you use VPN or encryption youre a criminal, java is slow, vim worse than nano, ..
Now that I've got your attention and you probably raged and downvoted.
Downvotes don't actually work on devrant. (not a bug)
This has been going on for months already - why have that function to begin with, if its just not fucking working? The usual answer to people throwing a fit is "just downvote it", WHY? it doesnt fucking work.
For a while specific options while downvoting DID actually work, but now any of the downvote options are just straight trashed and ignored, they are saved, dont get me wrong (or else it would be too obvious), but they dont affect any of the scores at all.
I understand mass bot downvoting should be prevented, but why take away anyones voice by completely ignoring downvotes. I really dont get it, its not "punishing" the creator of said post or comment, its simply reflecting what the users actually think of said comment or post, it boils my blood how thats even a thing, I am honestly disappointed.
Why should also downvoting something hide it from the feed (especially on the "recent" filter), let me fucking decide what I want on my feed via option then atleast. What if I don't agree with a rant, downvote it, but then want to see what others thought of it? how am I supposed to find it again?24 -
ha...
that I did NOT expect.
Opening a website in chrome. Laptop's transforms into a drone and tries to lift off my desk and fly away with its fans. I see warning popups telling me that CPU Tº is 100ºC.
Opening website in FF. Laptop calmly opens it up and raises Tº from 50ºC to only 75ºC.
And here I thought that Chrome is fine-tuned for anything you can throw at it.
And the website really has nothing fancy in it... Just some text to read, images to see in the background and some buttons to click on.
https://ignitis.lt/lt/...
its EN version, however, does not have the laptop-heater feature installed.
WTF11 -
Project manager, who i've complained in the past is neglecting critical things that he doesn't want to do, decided today to cancel our weekly planning meeting, to have the below conversation with me 1:1. Its very long, but anyone who has the will to get through it ... please tell me it's not just me. I'm so bewildered and angry.
Side note: His solution to the planning meeting not taking place ... to just not have one and asked everyone to figure it out themselves offline, with no guidance on priorities.
Conversation:
PM: I need to talk to you about some of phrasing you use during collaboration. It's coming across slightly offensive, or angry or something like that.
Me: ok, can you give me an example?
PM: The ticket I opened yesterday, where you closed it with a comment something along the lines of "as discussed several times before, this is an issue with library X, can't be fixed until Y ...".
"As discussed several times" comes across aggressive.
Me: Ok, fair enough, I get quite frustrated when we are under a crunch, working long hours, and I have to keep debugging or responding to the same tickets over and over. I mean, like we do need to solve this problem, I don't think its fair that we just keep ignoring this.
PM: See this is the problem, you never told me.
Me: ... told you what?
PM: That this is a known issue and not to test it.
Me: ..... i'm sorry ..... I did, that was the comment, this is the 4th ticket i've closed about it.
PM: Right but when you sent me this app, you never said "don't test this".
Me: But I told you that, the last 3 times that it won't be in until feature X, which you know is next month.
PM: No, you need to tell me on each internal release what not to test.
Me: But we release multiple times per week internally. Do you really need me to write a big list of "still broken, still broken, still broken, still broken"?
PM: Yes, how else will I know?
Me: This is documented, the last QA contractor we had work for us, wrote a lot of this down. Its in other tickets that are still open, or notes on test cases etc. You were tagged in all of these too. Can you not read those? and not test them unless I say I've fixed them?
PM: No, i'm only filling for QA until we hire a full time. Thats QA's job to read those and maintain those documents.
Me: So you want me to document for you every single release, whats already documented in a different place?
PM: ok we'll come back to this. Speaking of hiring QA. You left a comment on the excel spreadsheet questioning my decision, publicly, thats not ok.
Me: When I asked why my top pick was rejected?
PM: Yes. Its great that you are involved in this, but I have to work closely with this person and I said no, is that not enough?
Me: Well you asked me to participate, reviewing resumes's and interviewing people. And I also have to work extremely close with this person.
PM: Are you doubting my ability to interview or filter people?
Me: ..... well a little bit yeah. You asked me to interview your top pick after you interviewed her and thought she was great. She was very under qualified. And the second resume you picked was missing 50% of the requirements we asked for ... given those two didn't go well, I do think its fair to ask why my top pick was rejected? ... even just to know the reason?
PM: Could you not have asked publicly? face to face?
Me: you tagged me on a google sheet, asking me to review a resume, and rather than tag you back on 2 rows below ... you want me to wait 4 days to ask you at our next face to face? (which you just cancelled for this meeting)
PM: That would have been more appropriate
Me: ..... i'm sorry, i don't want to be rude but thats ridiculous and very nit pick-y. You asked my opinion on one row, I asked yours on another. To say theres anything wrong with that is ridiculous
PM: Well we are going to call another team meeting and discuss all this face to face then, because this isn't working. We need to jump to this other call now, lets leave it here.5 -
An app is protecting me from itself. :|
This is a notification from my budgeting app, which translates SMS confirmations. It has a spam filter built in.
I've been getting annoying SMS ads from them which I delete.
The app would now like to know if I want to auto block SMS'es from its own company.
You'd think a company with enough sense to build an SMS spam filter would have enough sense to, you know.. not spam SMS'es?2 -
Holy fcuk! Can anyone here help me understand how this domain is possible?
WARNING: obviously its a spam site. Take necessary security precautions if you are going to visit.
the following domain opens a cluster fuck domain name! >> secret.ɢoogle.com
That ɢ is not what it looks like. How is such domains possible to exist? Even more surprising, how is this sub domain -ception possible?7 -
I didn't leave, I just got busy working 60 hour weeks in between studying.
I found a new method called matrix decomposition (not the known method of the same name).
Premise is that you break a semiprime down into its component numbers and magnitudes, lets say 697 for example. It becomes 600, 90, and 7.
Then you break each of those down into their prime factorizations (with exponents).
So you get something like
>>> decon(697)
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('7'), Decimal('1')]]
And it turns out that in larger numbers there are distinct patterns that act as maps at each offset (or magnitude) of the product, mapping to the respective magnitudes and digits of the factors.
For example I can pretty reliably predict from a product, where the '8's are in its factors.
Apparently theres a whole host of rules like this.
So what I've done is gone an started writing an interpreter with some pseudo-assembly I defined. This has been ongoing for maybe a month, and I've had very little time to work on it in between at my job (which I'm about to be late for here if I don't start getting ready, lol).
Anyway, long and the short of it, the plan is to generate a large data set of primes and their products, and then write a rules engine to generate sets of my custom assembly language, and then fitness test and validate them, winnowing what doesn't work.
The end product should be a function that lets me map from the digits of a product to all the digits of its factors.
It technically already works, like I've printed out a ton of products and eyeballed patterns to derive custom rules, its just not the complete set yet. And instead of spending months or years doing that I'm just gonna finish the system to automatically derive them for me. The rules I found so far have tested out successfully every time, and whether or not the engine finds those will be the test case for if the broader system is viable, but everything looks legit.
I wouldn't have persued this except when I realized the production of semiprimes *must* be non-eularian (long story), it occured to me that there must be rich internal representations mapping products to factors, that we were simply missing.
I'll go into more details in a later post, maybe not today, because I'm working till close tonight (won't be back till 3 am), but after 4 1/2 years the work is bearing fruit.
Also, its good to see you all again. I fucking missed you guys.9 -
It kills me that a lot of people on here choose Linux distros based solely on desktop environments. Its Linux guys, you can make it whatever you want. You should decide between distros because of package managers or frequent updates or active communities, not because of how pretty it is out of the box. You can make it as pretty as you want.5
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Ever had that frustrating moment that the customer overreacts a small issue into a big issue? Just happened to me today.
Client: "Hey can you check why we are not getting any software update/patches to our firewall?"
Me: "OK. Lemme check"
** Checking **
Me: "I found that its not getting the latest updates because the license file registered has a product serial # mismatch with their support site. You can see it clearly here..."
Client: "THAT'S TERRIBLE!! QUICK!! MAKE IT A PRIORITY 1 ISSUE AND HAVE IT RESOLVE ASAP!!!"
Me: *Facepalm*1 -
(After several hours of debugging a returned "mal formed xml" error)
Me: We found out your api does accept our XML only if its elements are in certain order.
They: Oh! yes. :)
Me: ... and since XML should not depend on order, maybe you should fix that. Or at least alert about it in docs.
They: Yes, maybe we should. :)
Me: ... OK3 -
My Grandma: Go with your aunt to help her buy a refrigerator.
Me: But I don't know anything about refrigerator
My Grandma: But you spend all your time on computer, and it is just technology
Me: But its not the same thing at all
My Grandma: And I thought you were smart
Me: 😑2 -
I WANT TO SAY A BIG *FUCK YOU* TO SYNCFUSION FOR OFFERING NUGETS BUT NOT MAKING IT CLEAR THAT YOU NEED TO PAY AN $1,000 LICENSE TO GET ITS CONTROLS TO WORK SO YOU WASTE A LOT OF TIME WONDERING WHY THEY DON'T WORK, AND THEIR DOCUMENTATION IS THE SHITS, AND THEN 4 HOURS LATER YOU REALIZE THAT THE REASON THEY DON'T WORK IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN USING THE DEMO VERSION. SO, SYNCFUSION... *FUCK YOU* WITH ALL MY MIGHT. AND IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME *FUCK YOU* ONE MORE TIME!! BITCH!4
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Clojure developers: why has our awesome language not taken the world by storm? how do we get new developers interested in Clojure and Lisp! its not as hard as people make it out to be!!
Also Clojure developers: Yeh so we know you are all probably not used to an editor like emacs *crowd looks in confusion*....BUT YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD EMACS, INSTALL ALL THESE PLUGINS, MAKE SURE THAT THIS SHIT CALLED CIDER WORKS AND LEARN ALL OF THSE CTRL+<Fuck-Mx-You> COMBINATIONS!!
As someone that has been in the community for so long...I can't with the mentality of some of these people, and it scares me because I fear for Clojure disappearing.17 -
Well since I cannot post my work setup due to post-its with 'important stuff' (NDA, not passwords, mind you!!😋) & a lot of curse words & other stuff.. I decided to shame, I mean share my home laptop.. Most of the time, he is lurking in the shadows, trying to upgrade shamelessly whenever I need to use it, occasionally he embarrasses me in front of clients, or makes my summer days at sea a living hell..
So here he is! Everyone, meet LOKI!! :/1 -
Automation always fascinated me. Not only it looks and behaves like a life form, it also can perform billions of calculations without making a single mistake while I can’t even multiply double-digit numbers with my double-digit IQ.
If you pick the right components, you can make an immortal, perfect machine that can do its job for centuries, even millennia without a single mistake. There is nothing else on earth that can do this.
There is a robot surgeon and its hands never shake. It’s just flawless. If it fucks up, there is only you to blame, the flawed, pathetic operator.
And now it’s time to remember that it was just a 40s technology all along. And now it’s time to remember that now there is machine learning. A whole new perspective isn’t it. All the mistakes that machines make are sitting in front of the monitors.
No wonder I decided to be an engineer.17 -
Ok mate, you know what, you can FUCK. OFF.
MY H1 HAD EXTRA SPACE AT THE TOP. DEVTOOLS ELEMENT SHOWED NO DIFFERENCE.
I COMBED THROUGH THE FUCKING STYLES AND COMPUTED.
TURNS OUT IT WAS THE WHITESPACE THE FORMATTER WAS ADDING CAUSING LEADING \N
HEY CHROME DEVTOOLS.
HOW ABOUT IN ELEMENT VIEW.
YOU SHOW THE FUCKING PURE INNERHTML/INNERTEXT AND NOT JUST THE FUCKING NORMIE NON-DEVTOOLS TEXT THAT GETS RENDERED.
IM A FUCKING DEV.
THATS WHY ITS CALLED DEV TOOLS
SHOW
ME
EVERYTHING
FUCK5 -
Quick rant, I dont have time.
I have no idea how the fuck but I managed my IDE to show me that it's confused if my class "PackModel" is "PackModel" or "PackModel" (I have only one definition if you are hands first to ask).
its few years and first time when I see shit like that.
Fun fact, it was working OK until I used getter that was returning another object and than IDE got absolutely lost.
I had to use workaround in middle of nowhere as shown on image and suddenly its back fine with it. Not like it's returned by function hard typed and PHPDoc typed to return instance of this very object and in other scopes it just works...
It's Jetbrains so Im confused, it's robust IDE ;-;...8 -
WE TEST ON THE STAGING SITE. I DON'T BUST MY ASS WITH A SEPARATE STAGING API AND HTTPS://STAGING.WHATEVERTHEFUCKYOUWANTOBUILD.COM/..., SO THAT YOU CAN MESSAGE ME THAT NOTHING IS WORKING. THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ON THE STAGING SITE. IF I HAVE TO REMIND YOU AGAIN, I AM NEVER TALKING TO A NON TECHNICAL PERSON AGAIN
THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME. ITS LITERALLY LIKE A BROKEN RECORD SO WHY DO I EXPECT ANYTHING TO CHANGE, EVERY CLIENT IS THE SAME, EVERY TIME, GOD I HATE IT MAKE IT STOP4 -
I really feel the need to just blacklist the entire EU, to not deal with additional shit like gdpr, I do see its benefits, but I am already busy with getting my client approved by paywalls, other services and get all that bullshit integrated - I really don't need having to also shit out some very detailed statement about it all, if you want something like that, then create a generator that gives me all you want with couple clicks, else get fucked outta my sight.13
-
been a developer for 8 years (after college) and its somehow just dawned on me that no, architecture is not you projects folder structure :/4
-
my mom thinks designing something with photoshop or illustrator is easy asf, like after 15-20 mins its done. yeah, sure if u want it to not look as good as it can be when you do it 2 or 3 hours. when i design, i dedicate time for it cause believe it or not, when it comes to that, i want everything to be perfect. up to the last 2 object being perfectly aligned to one another.
she wants me to design something for her and be finished in a few minutes and i rejected her because i still have loads of stuff to do. i wouldnt go to university at 9am just to do them if they weren't that important. and now i look like im the bad kid who doesnt wanna help her mom out ughhh irritating asf, its like reverse psychology.
==> I NEED A STRESSBALL RN <==6 -
i hate linux like a lot , how do you guys use it
like you guys dont want an advertising ID, how the fuck will advertisers know who you are and what you like?
open source , give me a break, you mean your os devs are soo untrustworthy that you just have to see what they wrote in the code, who does that?
free come on, how poor are you linux people, i mean, quality stuff gets paid for, free stuff just means it's trash
and the linux devs , the aint like real coders they are just hobbysts, making your os in their free time
and who wants to install their own software anyway, on other platforms the company curates restricted software that you can use, and i know you'll say its oppressive but its just customer protection.
and i do want my platform to track everything i do, it only helps them build better stuff for me.
and whenever they decide to outdate my hardware and kill support for it, it only means they care and want me to get the latest tech, how considerate.
wait , i hear you say, there are no bugs in linux, my vendor makes sure my os comes with the latest antivirus software, nothing can break my system.
and just because linux runs on servers and most super computers only shows that common users like you and me are ignored, at least my vendor is not a sellout, and still makes stuff for the masses.
you say freedom i say safety i can sleep safe and sound for am protected nutured under one echosystem of software that i can not leave.20 -
FUCK SPOTIFY
This bloated buggy piece of shit
This fucking piece of bull dick that runs efficiently as much as a legless cockroach this motherfucker thinks its offline even though its in the motherfucking browse screen and I have a 4.5g connection (this retarded cunt) fills space faster than a hot gas released in a vacuum chamber just to fix its goddamn internet bug I have to reboot my damn phone. I see so many damn bugs in this shitty app that I think they rolled back to the alpha versions sometimes if I had any other god damn alternatives (google music is not available where Im from fuck you too google) the only thing I would give them would be my middle fingers. It just fucking froze on me while I'm just trying to listen to my Retrowave playlist while I fucking get ready for bed FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU RETARDED INFECTION FILLED CUNT I WOULD PUT A BIKE CHAIN ON MY DICK AND RAM YOU WHILE WE ARE TIED TO A CAR THAT DRIVES OFF OF A CLIFF IF YOU WEREN'T AN INCOMPETENTLY PUT TOGETHER 1S AND 0S7 -
i have been working on a web-based game and this is my daily routine (also i listen to rock and metal)
college to home to coding
thinking
coding...
looks like theres a small bug
shouldnt take much time
maybe this can work
*screaming*
i am not the first with this bug *here i come stack*
dont do this to me stack... theres suppose to be a fix for it
*extreme head banging*
F*** it
*changing songs*
nope this not helping
F***
F*** THIS SHIT
*rhythmic head banging*
oh god kill me
F***
am i really that bad
*autistic screaming*
humming song instead of thinking of bug
(8 - 8:30) me: mom i am hungry
this shit is taking toooo much time
*high intensity screaming*
F*** you bug
coding, its not form me
*surfing devrant*
*felling i am normal*
(10 - 10:30) mom: when are you eating
*high pitch screaming*
i am leaving coding for sure now
its too late time to sleep
fml its late again, i am gonna miss the first lecture again
back to coding
A thousand year later...
Bug status: Still not fixed4 -
had to create a rather large CLI based application in Java as a graduate level assignment.
Doing shit like this makes me appreciate Node/Python/literally fucking anything else much more for this shit in which storing and retrieving JSON does not have to be that much of a fucking hassle WITHOUT using external libraries(they want it all made by hand)
I love Java, don't get me wrong, but I would rather use it for only a couple of things. I stopped working as a Mobile dev precisely because of Android being shit for Java. No, Kotlin does not fix it, its not the language that is my problem, its the fucking general architecture of the Android API that pisses me off.
And no, I do not care if you like it, like 1 fucking bit. I am not saying that the architecture is shit, I am saying that I did not like it.
Sigh.......oh well. Almost done with the assignment, but still.7 -
BITCH THE APPLICATION WORKS PERFECTLY FINE!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT THE DATA YOU GAVE ME WAS FUCKED UP LIKE YOUR BLOODY FUCKING FACE YOU SHIT HEAD COMPUTER ILLITERATE IN THIS DAY AND AGE SON OF A BITCH1
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Tried flutter for the first time in life, for 2 days, java based Android dev here.
I have some.... thoughts...
Flutter does not feel extremely new to me. It is very much relatable if you have ever tried basic the spring/ other java based gui framework. It is trying to achieve the goods from multiple worlds,its so far good, but mann its playing on thin ice.
Flutter : Yo boy embrace me. I am the beauty. checkout my hot reload.
Me :❤️❤️😍 (But wait. your first execution is wayy longer than a simple android studio build. And AS would generally take smaller time after every rebuild. And you are going to take the same long time as first build, if app gets closed or my usb gets accidentally removed. So I see what you did there ;))
Flutter: Ha. Checkout my function passing as parameter. ever thought your puny java going to give you that?
Me :you got me ,❤️. (Although this style is not so uncommon with web devs)
Flutter: everything is a widget, everything is stateful or stateless, Single Streams FTW!
me: ❤️
Flutter:You kotlin devs are gonna love me, i got Small, concise code
Me: Now wait, This is a thin ice for me, okay? I hated when kotlin replaced everything with symbols & lamdas for a confusing but small code, So be careful,even though your code is still good.
Flutter : Control every pixel , dear! No more xmls!
Me : Yes, what is with that? are we accidentally going in the past?
Java desktop apps, spring framework used to build whole layouts with programming language. The day i stepped into Android, it was xml for ui and java/kotlin for code. was that a bad decision or is this one?
Anyways i liked my stuff seperated, but that's just me.
Flutter : Ugh so much whining. Are you going to work with me or not?
Me : Yes mam! ❤️4 -
So I work for a store that sells audio and video equipment. My boss asked me to find old stock that is in our system but not on our site.
We have an event at one of our stores in a week. I made a simple quiz - where people can fill out there email and win... something.
So going through the old stock we found something random, and my boss had the "great" idea to use that as the price for the quiz.
Guess what it is...
nah you won't
ITS A FUCKING TEAPOT.... I AM NOT KIDDING YOU - our audio video store is giving away a teapot as a price!?!?2 -
Kinde messed up my first contract.
I am a senior frontend dev who until now worked only on full time gigs. For the first time I picked up a short term gig of 1 week that consisted of 2 packages and I wanted to share my mistake that I made so hopefuly its useful to you.
So last week I started working on this gig. First package went through fine, I delivered in 2 days and collected the first half of the payment.
However I messed up with the second package. Not messed up the implementation per say, but I didnt manage the communication well.
Before implementing it I raised a discussion about a missing backend endpoint that is required to implement the perfect solution. Client got cold feet, had a discussion with his manager and now decided to postpone the second package and even got mad at me that I already did and pushed half of the work of the second package without waiting for his decision from his manager. So now obviously Im not getting paid for half of the work of the second package (I dont mind, I should have waited for clients response), anyways it took me like 20min to implement so thats fine.
My takeaways:
1. As a short term contractor you are hired to solve a concrete problem. Scope out what you can, agree on a task list and stick to it. Anything out of scope will cost the client extra.
2. Your priority is to get paid. Not to deliver the perfect solution that confuses the client and potentially can impact your delivery. If he wants something and you see its only a half of what he really needs, deliver it anyways. Keep that idea of improvement for the future. More work for future = more invoices = more money. I know its not ethical but your priority should be to get paid and in order to do that you need to deliver. Dont shoot yourself in the foot with unnecesseraly overcomplicating things.1 -
Why won't you just approve my PR???
Whats wrong with you?!
I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.
What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!
Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!
The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!
/endrant9 -
HELLO ITS ME RECRUITER. I SEE THAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY NOT LOOKING FOR A JOB, SO, MY COMPANY IS CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR NEW TALENT AND WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SET UP A CALL.
I would kill to be in this situation a couple of years ago but seriously. I'm not looking. 😐2 -
Dear Arch Linux Maintainers. Why the fuck are you sending me my password in plaintext?! Not enough: You are sending me my fucking password every fucking month, so i do not forget it, because its important!??!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK! Fucking idiots...4
-
This is not joke but fact
More than a year ago I write code without tests, I must confess its frustrating trying to debug without proper testing. testing is painful I must admit but you can't compare the confident you have on your code with the pains when writing tests.
About a year ago I wrote a whole software without tests and this words from a friend hunted me everyday till date he said, what cannot be tested cannot be trusted. Wise words.7 -
Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.
Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .
Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬7 -
So.. how does being in a company makes you a better engineer?
For eg, this year my team shipped these 2 interesting features (among other things) that were never part of our product.
these were crazy ideas, that got liked by our users, and might have impacted the finances of company positively.
However the engineers (not me, i worked on them even less) that worked on it, did they got their knowledge growth? they just analysed the old codebase, its shitty architecture and drawbacks, and added the feature around it in a similar manner. so basically it was building debris over the debris
but is this growth? if that engg was me, would my experience in dealing with debris and building debris over it (that somehow works) be helpful for any other organisation?
And number (2) : is my organisation even a good one if its allowing to build debris over debris and not leaving a space for discussion or cleaning the mess or thinking about better architectures, data structures for scalability and robustness?
An engineer's growth should be made by giving them a chance to explore new and best solutions and not the best hacks i guess1 -
User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.3 -
I, after a very long time, had to use Windows.
My Ubuntu system died yesterday with faulty hard disk. Good for me that all my data is on cloud and I dont lose anything apart from the software installations. I have ordered a new hard disk and it will come in 3 days time.
In the meanwhile, I wanted to continue my work and I have my wife’s Windows 10 laptop. She doesnt use it often ever since she got a Tablet last year. It was a good chance for me to try out Windows after a while.
The laptop hadnt been used for a while now(probably Dec 2020) and when I started it, I got all sorts of notifications for updates - Windows update, Browser Updates, other Application updates. Coming from Ubuntu world which has a single notification for all software updates, this was just too many notifications. Plus, for some applications you dont get the update notification till you open them.
And by far the biggest frustrating part of this is the Windows update which takes like forever to first install update after all applications are closed, and then installing and configuring some more when the system boots up. And all you do while this happens is watch the screen with progress indicator moving 1% every minute. The system is not usable and even more so, I dont know what application or package is updated.
I started this activity today at 10AM and its 11:53am now, and I still havent been able to use the system to actually do the work. Its a half an hour work on a Google Doc and I have been waiting for it for about 2 hours now.
Its so amazing that Windows system is so screwed still. I dont know what will it take for Windows to have a consistent package and release management. Its so frustrating to update each application on its own.10 -
I had the old "got this great product I've developed, but can't afford a website, could you do it in exchange for a percentage of profits?"
Look, it's your product, I have had no say in its development, or quality or how you market it etc. I do websites and the website will do exactly what you want it to do. I couldn't give a fuck wether you sell one or a million. It's not my risk. Pay me for a site and I'll do it.3 -
1 Week ago I took down the development version of an internal demo, leaving only the prod one (temporary space issue). Colleagues were told n+15 times via email, face to face, comments on tickets etc. The prod one has also been live for weeks, and again, they were told when it went up.
This just happened:
Colleague 1: practiseSafeHex can you help me, the demo doesn't seem to be working.
Me: *logs in*, *click around* ... seems fine dude. Are you using the correct URL: <prod-url>.
Colleague 1: let me try again and see.
Colleague 2: practiseSafeHex i'm with Colleague 1, were trying to use the demo, and its not working. Can you have a look, we need it.
Me: I just told him, its fine, I think you have the wrong URL <prod-url>. Can you try again.
Colleague 2: No I have the right one, can you check it.
Me: *does nothing*, yep i've had a look at it, can you try again: <prod-url>.
Colleague 2: Ah its back now, cheers.
They are with a customer now, so I won't say anything, when they get back, one of them is being castrated. -
It happened with a company that makes the audio Codecs for Apple (you guessed it right).
It was supposed to be the most pleasant interview ever but not exactly. Here's the thing, the interview went so well that the HR explained all the benefits for its employees and handed me a copy of a leaflet containing so. In the end, as they were walking me to the door, the HR lady told me "you are staying here, you don't have to look anymore" as they were walking me to the door.
Well, everything I did from my end was perfect. Thank you emails and follow-ups blah blah. But not a single answer from their end regarding any decision.
This was the worst feeling to me.1 -
Is this happening only on my device or someone else too?
(For non OCD People - See the week banner in the image)
If it is with everyone with similar device config... We can raise an issue8 -
Im thinking about leaving my employer because I keep getting way too much work on my plate, people get annoyed that its not done in time and tell me that i should tell them if im getting too much work.
So i tell them its to much and our deadlines are to tight, then i just get told "this is how we always work, we just gotta finish things faster and better"...
Another one is that our HR/office manager keeps bugging me about setting up SMART goals so i can prove my value to the company and that its my responsibility to do so if i want a pay raise (even if im already underpaid)...
Im sorry but if you wanna keep me, you gotta give me some damn incentive to stay...
Ive been putting up with it sofar because i like the office and the people and the majority of the work itself and i really dont wanna go looking for another job because im really bad at it... but wtf... im so done with all the "how does this work" questions too...
tl;dr: getting negative reviews because im bad at my own evaluation is gonna make me quit probably, while im being praised for all other work i do4 -
Never be a perfectionist. I am one and it kills me inside. 99% of the time I am not happy with what I did because I know I can do better. Especially on exams. Not because of the grade but because I am not on par with what I know I can do. Its pissing me of so fucking much. Fucking bullshit. Why do I suck so fuckibg much ffs. For real: you should never become a perfectionist because I see what it does to me4
-
There is a commercially sold ERP solution that has it's DB schema in excel and Other documentations in MS Word. And its not even properly structured, no schema diagrams, last updated for a 4 year old major release 😒😫.
I have to develop a custom module for it and that requires building an ActivexDLL Project in VB fucking 6 😭😭 .
VB6
Unstructured Documentation
Legacy code
Incomplete documentation
FML
Tell me if you want ss in comments.5 -
*euro-based rant incoming*
"left or right? left or right?!"
DUDE! I'M RIDING A SMALL MOUNTAIN BIKE WITH A FUCKING HEAVY TRAILER OF GROCERIES AND YOU ARE IN A FUCKING E-BIKE!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AROUND ME PUSSY!!!! I'M NOT GOING TO GRIND UP AGAINST THE SIDEWALK WITH MY TRAILER.... BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING TRAILER, AND ITS FULL OF FUCKING GROCERIES!!!!!!
god, fucking boomers... i swear to god if i get one more rube talking to me while i'm biking and saying i should "stay to the right" when EVERY time i'm CLEARLY right of the middle of the road, i'm going to start yelling back rude comments and put the fucking low IQ assholes in their place... (probably what I should have done from the first place. why are we to take shit from them, when they own 75% of the wealth but are 25% of the population.) absolute fuck sticks get the fuck off my road, go ride off a cliff5 -
I just spent… a significant amount of time touching my face feeling the bone tissue within. Now I have the perfect depiction of my skull, and when I open my mouth, I can see the picture of my skull doing so. To me, a skull has its own, separate face. Quite disturbing, not gonna lie.
Remember: right now, inside you, there is a skeleton.10 -
While it's totally not without its valid use cases, I fucking hate pair programming.
Well, let me elaborate. I hate *remote* pair programming. It completely disrupts my flow and wastes so much time with additional water cooler nonsense, and pedantic argument for the sake of participation. Not to mention "oh hey let me see how you did this... Oh, you know what, I think it would be better to do it this way...". Ok, great, we weren't even discussing that, but sure, let's completely detail this session to refactor something that could have come up at a good transition point, like I dunno, say a code review?
Like I said, there are very good reasons to pair program, but I would much prefer rubber ducking wherever possible.2 -
Boss: here you go 3 tasks for your sprint
Days later with local server and db still not connecting on docker.
Boss: ya can we add a task on jira and get that fixed as soon as possible and see why its not working(feature doesnt work)
Me: you got it boss.
Me(in head): How am i ever going to finish my sprint for next Friday...8 -
o and btw, yesterday was my birthday lol.
realtalk: if you want me to feel special, dont fucking force me to be more social than on all the other days together, or i will rewrite the year without eightteenth february.
you fucking corksuckers, i dont want to go to that place my grandma (same bd as i) goes to to celebrate. fucking mediocre pizzaria isnt fucking worth it, so atleast give me a choose.
and on the very Least, could you please quiet up? its not by telling me ten times per hour to be more proactive at school that you will help me like school.
o and also FFS WHEN IM FUCKING SICK AND EVEN OFFERING TO GO TO THE DOC TO SEE, FUCKING DONH SEND ME TO SCHOOL ANYWAY, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS JUST BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY
(you just got an insight into my life. wanna see more? i dont think so)3 -
So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.2
-
"Hello, this is Raja C******b. The purpose of this call is not a sales call. I would like to send you a free podcast examining <blah blah blah> and its impact on <blah blah blah>. I have your email address on file. May I send this to you?"
"No. Because this is not free, since my time is money. And also because this IS a sales call."
"It is not a sales call, sir. We would like to send you a free podcast..."
"... that will try to sell me something."
"No, sir. It is a free podcast examining..."
"...Something that will try to convince me to purchase a product or service."
"Ok, yes."
"Ok, bye."3 -
We have a standalone api acting as a legacy adapter to our actual api, and as you can imagine it's a festering hellpit of hacks and workarounds which is not intended to be maintained after its EOL.
I recently had a dream - more of a nightmare - where our actual api had to support the legacy calls indefinitely.
I told our PO about it as a funny anecdote and he gave me 3 days off. -
Email from a department mgr regarding a sharepoint site we inherited (lots of custom javascript, XLS, etc, stuff we didn't write)
Dan: "The department filter isn't showing up when I select the 'Logistics and Support' department. Was this caused by the changes you guys made? Its causing a major disruption in our processes and need it fixed ASAP."
Me: "Those changes went out almost two months ago and all the filters were working fine, at least that is what you told me when you tested it."
Dan: "I thought so, but its not working. It has probably been broken ever since you made those changes so I filed a corrective action ticket against your department for not following the documented deployment and testing processes"
Me: "Really? We've been over this. Its your department that is responsible for that sharepoint site. Previous developers hacked javacript together to make it all work, but I'm sure its something simple."
Dan: "Great. I'll start putting together a root-cause analysis to determine which of your processes we need to address."
Start looking at the javascript and found the issue..
if (dept === "Logistics & Support") {
$('deptFilter').show();
}
else {
$('deptFilter').hide();
}
Me: 'Found the issue. Did you rename the logistics department?'
Dan: 'No'
Me: 'To show or hide the filter, the code was looking for "Logistics & Support", someone changed the title to "Logistics and Support"'
Dan: "Well...I guess I did that yesterday...but I didn't change the name, just that stupid character. That shouldn't make any difference."
Me: "I can fix that right now. Are you going to need more information for your root cause analysis?"
Dan: "No, I think we're good. Thanks."1 -
A close friend of mine and i talked a while back and it went a little like this.
friend - "You like programming right"?
me - "Yeah"
friend - "I got a great idea"
She never really told me what the whole idea is. She said its easier to explain face to face but i can guess it's dev related.
But here's the issue. I have a tendence to just suddenly loose all motivation for a project (look at my github) and i'm afraid that i'll loose motivation for the thing she wants to do with me and i'll disappoint her.
Do i help her with her idea or not?
Keep in mind that i'm not a actual dev. Its just kinda my hobby. I can do it for free. Thats not the problem.7 -
Okay so my friend got me kingdom come deliverance for my day of birth and ive been playing it nonstop (the game not my friend). This shit is so cool, its skyrim without all the annoying parts AND YOU CAN FUCKING DIE HERE FINALLY. I love medieval stuff.6
-
Stackoverflow #1
Me posting question about how to prevent error.
User1: You answered your question. Its because of the error.
Me: I know. And want it gone.
User1: Proposes working yet somehow horrible workaround.
Me: Yes, that works, already did that. But i want to know why it happens.
User: Your question says you want a solution and it is one.
Me: One that doesn't solve the problem.
User2: Just give up. Don't try to find a better one.
Stackoverflow 2:
UserQ: Question how to...?
Me: Use this and that.
UserR: That is not an answer, so i downvoted and requested review.
I don't know a second community that is anti-encouraging like SO. -
HOLY SHIT
FINALLY
AN APP THAT LETS ME USE FIREFOX I STEAD OF SAFARI ON MY FUCKING IPHONE
ITS NOT THAT DAMN HARD APPLE. YOU DID IT FOR THE MAC...
also devrant, plz add browser selection for iOS (yes I already submitted a GH issue)5 -
how to php, an infographic by Bind (that me)
0) assert your goal, in this example let it be sending an email from the server
1) search for implemented methods
2) all you can find is either outdated or not helping at all
3) think of solution in any other language (eg c# or node)
4) implement 3)
5) iterate until you have something that works but you have no idea why
6) after 1 week, realize that there is a built in method, but its called userData_registration_sEnder0(adress, header, egg, pinNumbe_r, message)
7) cry5 -
Nope,
Far too in love with myself to have any sort of insecurities.
Not that there is anything wrong with having them, we are all different. I just believe that insecurities come from giving other people far too much power over ourselves. And I just couldn't care less what people say about me, as long as it IS about me. See?
The more confidence you project the more attention you will get, be it good or bad, it doesn't matter since it is the only way to go up in your workplace. Having a personality besides "ZOmG cOde Is LiFE" really goes a long way also.
So yall cheer the fuck up, its just code.7 -
HAHA FUCK YOU HR RECRUITER!!
This fucking lady tries to steal my devs while i spent a lot of blood sweat and tears raising them.
Thankfully my devs are happy with their work type, salary, and conditions. So they showed me a screenshot of her phishing attempts.
There is so much damage I can do to her, and her company as i got all the information, its very tempting.
Since its a "common" dirty and distasteful move, the most sensible course of action I can think of is public shaming. That too is common, dirty and distasteful. But im not that kind of guy.
What do you guys think, should i suck it in and let it slide or public shame her for her actions?3 -
On C++ forum and see reference to Type Erasure (TE). Search around, some Java shit bleeding into other programming languages. Finally find an article that not only explains what TE is, but why you would use it in C++. ITS JUST FUCKING DUCK TYPING. Please stop using stupid names for stuff. You don't sound smarter. You sound like an asshole. Anyway, thinking about it does make sense to call it Type Erasure, but I still think it sounds pretentious. Cool concept, stupid name. Will continue to confuse people saying: "oh, you mean duck typing?"
Cool article:
https://davekilian.com/cpp-type-era...
The wikipedia article about TE doesn't explain shit about why you would even use it. Just repeats the same word salad of words I first saw about TE. I get that its jargon, but from the outside it just sounds like bullshit. I have never heard anyone I work with spew out shit like that. Even the ones with masters degrees in computer science.
I am not even sure I want to learn more about CS than what keeps me employed. I don't want to sound like this when I talk. I have already said shit in meetings about modern C++ that has colleagues (other sparkies, and some CS people) wondering what I was smoking. It wasn't even that jargony.
Don't mind me, just a sparky starting to understand why the CS world is so fucked. Maybe its just academia I can't stand. I dunno.
I should ask in a meeting if someone can define a monad for me.21 -
Recently I won a Qwiklabs speedrun with global rank 1.They gave me a $25 starbucks Egift card ! Nice right!?
NO.
Supposedly this can be only be redeemed in US.
Its always super irritating when you win some swag or voucher but always end up not able to get it due to residence in a Different Country.
P.S They are trying to resolve it. Its been forever since.4 -
I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:
*********
Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?
*********
I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic
*********
Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS
*********
whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf
*********
Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you3 -
Speaking of "living"...
When was the last time you looked up in the sky and admired the beauty of its deep blueness or the beauty of the clouds floating up there?
We live in a beautiful world. And yet we spend our lives dawn-to-dusk staring at things made by ourselves rather than enjoying what's already there - the beauty all around us we don't bother to even think about, not to mention look at it.
No, I'm not a spiritual person. I just really love the world around me :) Not people. Not technology. Pure raw nature and the mind-bending balance of EVERYTHING in it.
So... when was the last time you've admired what's out there, rather than what's in our artificial world?7 -
!story
I finally joined uni. With all of its fucking bureaucracy. But I love the feel I get being there with people I know wants same stuff as mine. I picked Math.
It's equally ambitious and crazy as 1) My previous school didn't prepare me at all, (not even limits for fuck's sake) 2) it has given me an antidepressant boost, but I'm also a person that yes goes on anyway but at the first difficulty I second guess my own ability in first place to overcome what's ahead (so, depressive rebound). 3) I have dyscalculia and adhd. Lucky me, not the kind of dyscalculia that makes you unable to grasp logic, it's more like I can't do calculations in my head and 8x7 is HARDER to me than explain graph theory or some stuff about riemannian geometry.
What did you all feel when you went to university? Because I'm feeling a lot ignorant, but worse, stupid, very stupid.
Any advice?2 -
I need some time off. Just had this convo with a dev-manager about an 'issue' with our system change mgmt calendar (Blazor) app.
K: "In the system drop-down, it's not filtering when I type."
Me: "Let me check <I attempt to reproduce>, yep, not working. Do you get the same error? Looks like duplicate data from the database is causing a problem."
<this is over MS Teams, about 5 minutes go by with no response, then>
K: "No error, its not working."
<I find the bad data, delete it, TADA, the filtering is working again>
Me: "The filtering is working again, at least for me. You sure you didn't see an error?"
<wait 5 minutes again>
K: "No, no error."
Me: "You didn't see a little red banner at the bottom and in all caps..ERROR"
<send him a screen-shot of the error I still had in another tab>
K: "Yes, I saw that one, but no other errors. Filtering is working again. Thanks"3 -
Finally got myself a rocketbook everlast. Now just 1 Notebook instead of pads and bits of paper. It was a sound investment and the phone app for scanning is great. I can scribble all i want and only save the important bits. I’d highly recommend this.
https://kickstarter.com/projects/...
you can buy it on amazon.
its not an advert, it helped me stay organised and just wanted to share with the community.2 -
What the FUCK im fixing integrations on some dumbass's API. Biz wants this in prod on monday. It's fucking saturday. Anyway
Me: why did you give us a 200 even if its an error
Them: thats normal
Me: If it's an error it shouldnt be 200
Them: its a 200 because the api params are correct but differ in value so its not an http error but an api error
lmao2 -
Who the fuck invented Hungarian notation?
lpszName, bVisible, pNext, ppData...
A variable's type should already be clear by its name and scope. If not, get yourself some decent IDE that helps you out. Why this style is still in use in code like the Vulkan API is beyond me... IT IS NOT USEFUL!3 -
In my previous job, they made me feel like they were lucky to have me. In my current job they try make me feel like I’m lucky to work for them.
I certainly preferred the precious position where I felt valued for what I brought to the company.
If I have any advice to give, it’s the following: if your current employer appreciates your work and treats you well, you should stay there a long as possible.
Also I’m wondering if my current employer purposefully makes its employees lose their confidence so they don’t go job hunting as they may feel they’re not good enough anymore to apply elsewhere.
I’m thinking of jumping ship but damn have I lost confidence over the past months…1 -
You know what really bugs me? How movies show people hacking into something with the terminal and all the matrix code but its really not like that.6
-
the more i think about the effort i've poured into various projects and products over the years, for clients or my own, and how little its payed overall... its quite depressing (people probably understimate, but i'm talking years upon years, not all at at time, but month spurts where i'd be done for the day at 7 PM or later) 12 hour days are easy to hit quickly when you are cranking out software
if you need an application requirement i've probably built it before, probably most of them twice
everyone tells me "it will pay off in the long run!" or "its great you have so much experience and built those different things!"
great to say, but i'm not getting payed for it / see no benefit from it
not fun to think about
and every place i go i know its gonna be filled with the workaday dev bros who are just there for the paycheck, have no passion, and who don't even know what TypeScript is (true story about that TypeScript one, i shit you not, occured only last year, and the guy is a frontend dev)
😩😩😩
where do i belong devrant?15 -
Me and Team Developer,
One day he was calling some apis and getting error
Dev - Hey , the apis seem not to work
Me - Ohk which api, i will Check
Dev - Ohk here is the api and issue
Me - Spent time in checking multiple values for same api, and...
it was working fine with no issue.
Me- SO i asked him to check again
Dev- he again said, still the issue
Me- Ohk give me the same input to try
Dev - Ohk Here is the id of the record
Me - Tested and not working... more tested and got issue like, the id was for some other record, and not actual id he need to call
Me- I told the Dev that he was sending wrong id.
Dev - Ohh Shit, i will check
Me - Yeah, let me know
Dev - Yeah , its working and i wasted 3 days just for this issue.
Me - I said yeah Ohk Fine. (Me Frustrated, as time wasted due to the input issue not mine Api)
Most of the time, this happens and i have to jump to solve. Can Anyone related to this happen with you or your team ?
Comment below7 -
There's deep solace for me in knowing devrant, and particularly its icker users (👀), will be dead in the ground in 60-70 years 🪦⚰️🥀
All this will be gone and deleted like a footprint on a beach.
Say what you wanna say people - unless you're not a kind person5 -
I wanted to talk about the right job.
In my previous job I did not feel happy, the management was weird, the salary was low.
For a time I was thinking, I need to get better and do more and I will have a better salary and management will be more lenient towards me.
After a few years, I got an offer to join a much bigger company with a bigger salary and better benefits.
I joined them of course. And it turns out in some places you just do not fit in or the company just wants something that is not realistic and always will be unhappy with you.
In my current company, I have never felt better working, the team is awesome and tasks are challenging but doable, and they appreciate my skills and speed of work.
TL;DR:
If you do not feel good in your company, leave for some other company, most likely it's not you, but its the job that sucks.2 -
Usually I use my laptop which has ubuntu installed but sometimes if I'm doing something for long period of time I use my desktop which has windows 7 installed. You know for games and shit.
Here is the bad part about all of this
*Rant incoming*
This fucking piece of shit ass licker. Deleted my entire god damn paths.
And if you don't know if you don't have the right paths you can't do shit basically. This fucking piece of smelly shit. DELETED THEM FUUUUUCJDUCKFUUUCKKKKFUUUUUCK NOW I HAVE TO WRITE ALL OF THEM AGAIN ?! FUCK YOU FUUUUUUCKKK GO SUCK A BIG DICK FOR MAKING A FUCKING SYSTEM MECHANIC THIS FUCKING FRAGILE. WHAT THE FUUUUCK AND ITS SO HARD TO FUCKING GET THE PATHS RIGHT TOO. SHITSHISHIT AND I CAN FORMAT TO A NEW OS BUT IF ITS WINDOWS I NEED TO INSTALL EVERY DAMN BIT OF DRIVER AGAIN FUUUUUCK THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT
linux i'm sorry I was cheating on you with that piece of shit cheap whore. You are the right one for me. Even though If I need to work hours to make a software work on you l, when you work you work for good, not like this piece of shit that decides to delete important information out of nowhere.7 -
Me: I have very perfect reason why I did not come to work to day .
Client: Please state your reason .
Me: its silly I don't wanna talk about it.
Client: please do
Me: my index fingers are hurting
Client: why
Me: what do you mean why I was tying to git push heroku master
But every time some json dependency failed -
Damn. I am so blessed to have friends that i have. 90% of them don't even care if you live or die (60% of them would be the first to throw me in fire if that's benefitting to them) remaining 10% would be someone that slightly care, but will move on pretty quickly.
But the best thing about 1 of them is that he is bluntly honest , and willing to share his opinion.
Today we were just talking about stuff when i see this placement offer in my mail.
I have been recently feeling bad about my grades, my choice of persuing android , my choice of leaving out many other techs (like web dev or data sciences , whose jobs are coming in so much number in our college) and data structures, and my fear of not getting a good career start.
This guy is also like me in some aspects. He is also not doing any extreme level competitive programming. He doesn't even know android , web dev, ai/ml or other buzz words. He is just good in college subjects. But the fascinating thing about him,is that he is so calm about all of this! I am losing my nuts everyday my month of graduation , aug2020 is coming . And he is so peaceful about this??
So i tried discussing this issue with him .Let me share a few of his points. Note that we both are lower middle class family children in an awful, no opportunity college.
He : "You know i feel myself to be better than most of our classmates. When i see around , i don't see even 10 of them taking studies seriously. Everyone is here because of the opportunity. I... Love computer science. I never keep myself free at home. I like to learn about how stuff works, these networking, the router, i really like to learn."
"That's why i dont fear. Whatever the worst happens , i have a believe that i will get some job. Maybe later, maybe later than all of you , but i will. Its not a problem."
me: "but you are not doing anything bro! I am not doing anything ! So what if our college mates suck , Everyone out there is pulling their hairs out learning data structures, Blockchain, ai ml , hell of shit. But we are not! Why aren't you scared bro? Remember the goldman sach test you gave ? You were never able to solve beyond one question. How did you feel man? And didn't you thought maybe if i gave a year to that , i will be good enough? Don't you too want a good package bro? Everyone's getting placed at good numbers."
Him : "Again, its your thoughts that i am not doing things. I am happy learning at my own pace. Its my belief that i should be learning about networking and how hardware works first , then only its okay to learn about programming and ai ml stuff. I am not going to feel scared and start learning multiple things that i don't even wanna learn now."
"My point is whatever i am doing now, if its related to computers , then someday its gonna help me.
And i am learning ds too , very less at a time. Ds algo are things for people with extreme knowledge. We could have cleared goldman sachs if we had started learning all this stuff from 1st year, spend 2-3 years in it and then maybe we could have solved 2 -3 questions. I regret that a little, but no one told us that we should be doing this."
"And if i tell you my honest thoughts now, you ar better off without it. You are the only guy among us with good knowledge of android , you have been doing that for last 2 years. Maybe you will get better opportunity with android then with ds/algo."
"You know when i felt happy? When we gave our first placement test at sopra. I was thinking of going there all dumb. But at 11 am in night i casually told my brother about this ,and he said that its a good company. So i started studying a little and next day i sat for placement. And i could not believe myself when they told me that am selected. I was shit scared that night, when my dad came and said " you don't even want that job. Be happy that you passed it on your own". And then i slept peacefully that night and gave the most awesome interview the next day."
"Thus now i am confident that wherever my level of skills are, it is enough to get into a job . Maybe not the goldman sachs ,but i will do well enough with a smaller job too."
"Bro you don't even know... All my school mates are getting packages of 8LPA, 15LPA, 35LPA. You see they are getting that because they already won a race. They are all in better colleges and companies which come there, they will take them no matter what (because those companies want to associate themselves with their college tags). But if worst comes to worst, i won't be worried even if i have to go take 4lpa as job offer in sopra"
Damn you Aman Gupta. Love you from all my heart. Thanks for calming me down and making me realise that its okay to be average3 -
Can you make me this page please.
Me: its done its 100% like the psd you send me
She: yes but this component is bigger then this one
Me: its the same here the css proof
She: can you change it ?
Me: ( this will change the hole component and douin the same shit ) yes i will do it for you.
She: again this is not the same size
Me: ( what the fuck i said to shut is mouths ) ............. Fml -
OHHHH. Now i get it
Senior means--dont fucking ask me ANY questions. Do it urself bitch
Medior means--its ok to ask some questions but not too much bitch
Junior means--its ok to ask questions all the time as long as you keep working on tasks4 -
its two years since ive told a story here but lets go.
we got a new client, who is revamping their infrastructure. i gave some tasks to 2 dev ops guys (i am not devops). they were primarily bash scripts that needed to be altered. (ofc i can write scripts it takes a moment, its their jd)
after a week of chasing them around, getting no result from them, i end up doing it myself because client needs it and the company needs this client. for one task, they told me it does not apply to the component we were working on. (it did, and i did it)
we have a meeting with higher management, they asked me how did i implement it, i show my entire working, my backtracing etc (everyone knows this is how you approach huge system, component focused strict deadline task). it was infuriating how they approached it by trying to understand complete system in one week. i asked them why they hadn't taken component specific approach. they said they tried but failed because..
[this because is the whole reason for the rant, because i believe this because should be a fire-able offense]
..because we were not using VS code to find things in files
HOW IS WHAT TEXT EDITOR YOU USE OR DON'T USE AN EXCUSE
ARE YOU GUYS GETTING THIS?5 -
So I've forgot to share with all of ya our first !!!SUCCESSFUL!!! GGJ Game!
Its called "Communism Overload" and its super hardcore.
LINK: https://goo.gl/b2t9A8
Things you should know:
1. Its 2 players ONLY(You wont win alone)
2. You will break your keyboard
3. Only handful of ppl have successfully finished it.
4. There was one guy that managed to finish it alone and it took him a lot of time to master the skill of sync keyboard breaking!
5. Some ppl say that the instructions are unclear and they manage to stick their heads in toilets, so I'm attaching a small GIF of explanation.
6. This game gave us a new meaning in life, so its surely, not the last one.
7. Everything in this game, except for the music is my teams hard work. Every image\animation\line of code.
8. Me and my teammates would be freaking glad to hear you thoughts on this game (MADE IN JUST 48 HOURS)2 -
If there's one thing I'd gladly kill with fire, then pass it over a steamy steamroller, then burn it a tank of hot fluoroantimonic acid, is every fucking Java library that returns null instead of throwing a meaningful exception.
Is it really that difficult for you to throw an exception anyway, then let ME figure out if I can ignore it or not?
Thanks to you, now I have to do super messy reflection things just to figure why did you return a null.
I'm not your fucking psychologist trying to pull your inner secrets. But I have to be, for the sake of stability of my app. Which already has its own mess of problems on its own.7 -
OK so I have this joke its not fine tuned yet but I'm gonna try it anyway, tell me what you think:
If I ever buy a sex robot I would get 2, male and female, that way I can turn them on before I leave for work in the morning and by the time I get home they would both be exponentially better.3 -
the closer i get to the ending
the higher the resistance
the harder i fight the battle to win
the harder life tries to prevent me from winning
just when we were about to finish
just in that moment life did its best to not make it happen
why
what do you want from me
i am just a human being
what wrong have i done in trying to help mankind
what is happening
why is this happening
what... do you want..... from me.......3 -
For the love of god, why in the world are coworkers so prone to overflow with pointless informations? I don’t care about which db you use when I am a frontend, just tell me the f*cking endpoint to use ffs! Nor I care about the FE framework when I’m working on the be and most of all I don’t care about the reason behind a formula you use to calculate a freaking param, give me the goddamn formula or its name 🙄
Please tell me I’m not the only one getting triggered by coworkers explaining useless things, cause lately it’s so annoying3 -
Average software isn't even average.
I can not count the number of times I am faced with a consumer facing software such as fastfood terminals, atms, phones or even OS's that simply are broken. I am so sick of looking around like there is something wrong with me, when its the fucking code that simply offers me broken options. My favorite is the McDonalds ordering platform that simply offers one option once you select your first item: + THATS it a fucking + sign is my only option. What if I only want one fucking thing!!!
No I have to stumble around, looking ignorant until I finally just press the add more + sign. WHALLA
I can then select complete order - stupid programmers show me we all should write our own code that way we live or die by its quality.
Someone once told me, be glad software is so poorly written on average, otherwise we would all be a slave to big brother by now.7 -
How do you make up new cool features for your platform?
well you don't because UX and PM think it best to look at competitors and implement whatever shit they come up with.
once, someone came up with a cool feature and some basic prototype for it and they ignored it. the competitor thought of it years later and did it. when they did it, suddenly its a priority at our company to do it as well.
sure, why be the first to do the feature. im sure being unique and creative is overrated not like our profit comes from user subscriptions.
Some recent PM decisions similar to the one above are driving me crazy, its not like u dont know what to do we literally have a ton of ideas so stop ignoring them and prioritizing being a knock off app of someone else. FUCK YOU. -
I don't know how many of you have been in this kind of situation but what really sucks is that, whenever my company is not having any projects to work on, believe me its happening a lot these days, I am forced to work on an old shitty project over and over again.
And the catch is, everybody knows that no one cares about that shit, customers have never responded not even negatively to that crap. -
tl;dr: What dark theme are you using in IntelliJ?
After seeing how easy it is for my coworker to do refactoring in IntelliJ, its git integration, some Emacs-like features in it, and generally because he made me believe it's an all-in-one IDE (is that right?), I'm considering leaving Sublime for IntelliJ.
The thing that's stopping me though is that I'm not able to find a good Monokai color scheme for it. I am using Boxy Monokai theme in sublime, and it's just awesome.
What dark theme are you using in IntelliJ?12 -
Me, working hard on a SQL project with a deadline that is half what it should be with no support from the other people on the project and was mostly made with with data I imagined would be in there cos no one could get me any fucking shit done (i.e. effectively designed, built, tested, fixed, upgraded, documented on my own for an entire weekly/monthly/ad-hoc analysis process that would output various reports for internal/external/management)
Manager - man who is a known waste of space but for some reason is in charge of the smallest part of the project, shouldn't have been fucking involved fucking management guzzling stain magnet...
Manager: Hey, do I need to refresh the database?
Me: .................
Me: .................
Me: ............I dunno, do you think we should refresh the database that this entire project is reliant? I mean...why do we need up to date transactions to analyse? Wait....you telling me it's not been being refreshed this ENTIRE time?
Manager: No....you never said I should. So should I?
Me: ..................I never said you should!?!? Are you not in the meetings talking about dependencies?????? Do you think i should have up to date trans or just run this with old stuff????? Why would you not update it!??!!?!?!? Its transactions...... (Desperately trying not to punch through my screen, through his, into his throat)
Manager: ..............
Me: .................
Manager: I think i'll refresh it and add it to the job?
Me: ....................(goes back to work cursing with music in so I think its quiet but who knows).
Tard, don't know how he even gets to work without someone holding his fucking hand.
Happy ending, I don't work there anymore :p
Sad ending, his spirit of tard follows me to my new jobs and possesses someone (or three sometimes) -
Context: ive been porting a single threaded D.A.G scheduler into a lockless multithreaded one. Point is its an objectively complicated project where theres lots of overlap in the code and architectural boundaries are very fuzzy.
My boss: "Can you just make new branches for every 'large' change youve done. Its too hard to merge this one giant branch youve got"
Me: "Fuck bro, but this is 2 months worth of significant refactoring where the commits are not atomic and you told me way back then that it was cool to work in my own repo. Now ive got to go redo half my work"
Boss: "Well yea but isnt it so much better to work with clearly seperated histories"
Me: "yea its great if you tell me thats the workflow you want upfront. This is gonna suck but ill but my balls and dive into this pit of lava if u say." -
"Tips" are fucking stupid. Any waiter or anyone who expects me to "tip" them is a fucking clown hobo. Full disrespect
You're telling me i should pay you extra money or else you're not gonna do YOUR job right? A job where you already receive stable monthly salary?
Whoever standardized "tipping" is a fucking CLOWN. Must have been a restaurant business paying billions for this marketing scam to normalize as if tipping 2$ is normal
Who the fuck are you? Are you my fucking friend? A relative? A family member? Why the fuck should i pay you extra money just because you want some extra money?
Guess what fucktard. I want some extra money too. Has anyone ever tipped me in my job? No. Has a client or will a client who paid for a software i develop ever tell me "hey youve done such a great job heres some extra $$$"? No. Will a client ever tell me "hey your software earned me 100k$ heres a $100 tip or a $1000 tip"? NO
If i dont get tips Fuck you. Rough world and live with it.
Anyone who wants or expects tips I immediately view him as:
- beggar
- gypsy
- homeless
What the fuck are you gonna do with 2$ 5$ 10$ tip bro? You're broke and your job sucks go and learn some skill and you might earn more if you're so stubborn about a tip
Today i paid for coffee $7 but the price was 6.25$. Expecting a change, the waiter just went off. I told him give me my fucking 0.75$ back you fuck. And so he did. But he gave me back 0.7$. Where the fuck is my 0.05$????? Fucking retard. You want to take extra money from me just for a COFFEE. YOURE HOMELESS BRO TF U GONNA DO WITH 5 CENTs???
Also the reason why i get so pissed off about this is
1) The other day i was at some other coffee shop also paying for coffee. Dont remember the price but i paid. However i miscalculated. I paid 0.10$ less than i was supposed to. She was standing there and telling me I'm missing 10 Fucking cents. Confused, i calculated again and realized i made a mistake. So i round it up to 1$ instead of 0.10$ and she kept everything instead of giving me the change of 0.90$. So its NOT ok that you're a gypsy for not accepting the payment because its missing 10 cents, but its TOTALLY fine that you take 0.90$ extra money just because you want to. GET FUCKED
2) The other day i was in a store buying food. At the cashier i paid $27. However i was missing 0.02$. The cashier told me do you have 0.05$ to coverup the missing funds. In disbelief, i was looking at her could not believe my fucking eyes what she asked. How fucking POOR can you get. I gave her more than 2 fucking cents and proceeded with my shit
Very valuable shit i learned from these stories: NO ONE will give a shit to accept a payment even if its missing 1 FUCKING CENT. But its totally fine that they dont return me however much they dont want to.
How about you sometimes fucking say "hey i know you you come to this store very often heres a discount"???
Or "its fine that you dont have 0.01 fucking dollars, you can take your food"???
Or "hey i seen you buy here often heres a fucking discount just for you today"????
Because of that i have decided to take ALL of my fucking hard earned money and ask for the exact change. I dont give a FUCK just as much as THEY dont give a FUCK.
For reference:
0.01$ = 1 in my currency
0.90$ = 90 in my currency
27$ = 2900 (4 figures) in my currency
My currency is shit. My country is shit. People in my city are shit. The whole vibe here is shit. And perhaps that is why i shit so much because i get stuffed with too much daily BULLSHIT12 -
I have read people talk about how “Laravel makes PHP fun”. I don't get it. I really hate frameworks. Yeah they may simplify tasks. But the way I see it, you now have a damn framework that you're never going to bother to understand. You most likely won't read the underlying code, you'll rely on others to release security updates.
Hey yeah it has its benefits, like peer reviewed, and matured code.
But I guess it's just not for me.
SAME GOES FOR WORDPRESS. It does freaking make your life easy, and it's easy money, but I guess it would just annoy me to not be bothered with the underlying code.
Anyway, Imma head on to make my own framework....9 -
So I have a friend. One of few who I can freely speak with using my natural language (so that means, narrow down topics to IT, mix some of my native language, mix in lot of english and mixture of our favourite languages terms (don't ask me how it works, but it works brilantly and its actually easier to communicate)). And its true friend, seriously.
But when we meet, 80% of time we spent together, every, single, fucking time we argue (in cultural maner, its more of discussion) about what enviroment and what languages have advantages against others. And it pisses the fucking hell out of me, when he takes his enviroment, takes his problems with exac his enviroment, and applies his favourite solutions to it, and goes on how they are fucking awesome and brilliant, and than I reply, sure in my enviroment if I ever had XYZ problem, I wouldn't say use mongo DB becouse I can do it my way, and it would work well too, but it's not really the way I really should solve XYZ problem, becouse in my enviroment you dont have it in the first place. And he will fucking go on, but at least he understands my solutions and finds various details where HIS solution works better. His solution to his problem vs my solution to non-existant problem.
But that's actually an example of much grander thing that I want to rant about. You see, that's not all that bad, we keep it civil and we somewhat enjoy these discussions even if often times, they are pointless. It's like playing games and shit like that, so it's not the point, I just used the example to make it clear what I mean later down the line.
So, to the actual point. What the living fucking fuck is wrong with people, for living fucks sake they cannot physically, mentaly, virtually or otherwise change mindset and point of view if they are telling YOU what to fucking do, what's better to do, etc.
What the fuck! You have around 0.1% of context that is in my head, and my solution works with most of it and your bearly manages to deal with your given 0.1%, so kindly please for living hell, fuck off telling me what to do, what is better in my fucking situation etc. You don't know most of shit I know about my own situation (dosent apply to people with coma and heavy mental issues, sorry its not 100% universal) that I know, yet you have something in your brain that fucking allows you (dosent tell you "its no-go lol") to try push thru your shit to me like it was your fucking life. It's not.
And to be clear, before someone gets sad becouse I was to broad and generic. If you giving advice you can do it properly. And there are people who legit have mindset "well, if I was you and known what you told me, I would do XYZ", but for what the living fuck reason most of people I know have more mindset of "Do XYZ coz fuck you if you dont, coz dat is my opinion and shit and I dont give a living fuck if it does what you want"2 -
So recently i got a message from aa person asking how to (these are exact words) ,
:break into insta's database using Sqlmap"
I then proceeded to tell them to "f*ck of ya c*nt ".
Afterwords it inspired me to write this rant
annoying classmates:" hahaha GuYS bEtER wAtcH OuT he's GonnaA hack Us"
me: " yea I can program I also do some ethical hacking and cybersecurity "
annoying classmates: "hahaH Bro your a Hacker OhHHhHHOOO BrO CaN yoU hACk inSta FoR mE I NEEd MoRe FolloWeRs "
me:" tf no one that's illegal and two it's waste of my time "
annoying classmates: "BrOooo CaN yoU gEt Me SoMe HacKs fOr CsGo"
me: "can you just please f*ck off , i'm not hacking for you everything you've asked me is extremely unethical and a huge waste of time, Also if you suck so bad at a game you need to cheat I recommend just stopping "
annoying classmates: "DUdE whAt ToolS dO i HVAE to DownLOad To Be A haCkEr"
me: *trying hard not to murder them* " I told you to f*ck off"
being a hackers isn't downloading tools it isn't typing at 90wpm into a terminal with green font its not about games or fame or anything its about coming up with creative solutions to problems , thinking outside the box its about individuality and breaking from the heard , looking at things from a different viewpoint,
it's about endlessly seeking knowledge.
It's about freedom though creation that's what being a hacker originally was. But because of big media and movie company's (and script kiddies) people now confuse hacker with cracker and think of us as jobless fat kids sitting in a dark room in there parents house breaking into bank accounts and buying drugs on the dark web (which people see to think there a hacker just because they can open tor browser. they then proceed to use google to look up "fresh onion links 2020") .
My classmates and really my generation has a huge case of smooth brain. They a think we can just look at someone and hack them they also seem to think using a gratify link to get a persons up is hacking and using the inspect element is hacking and that opening a terminal is hacking ! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Anyways ima end this here thanks for reading :)5 -
My last week of vacations. A brake on bussiness programing... lol
Monday:
Receive a phone call from a colegue:
Hi the equipment it not working.
Me: ( upset with the acuracy) reboot that shit!
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😲😨😵😱
Today (Thursday):
Collegue: The printer is not working!
Me: 😡 Im on vacation. Check the cable or try to reinstall the printer...
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Me: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
2 fucking hours later:
Collegue try to call
Me: Did not answer... 😡 Fuch this shit.
Colegue send text message saying that they had a problem on the video projector but its ok now..
Me: 😠😡😢😢😢
I'M ON V A C A T I O N3 -
Why the fICKITY FUCK CANT UNITY DO WHAT ITS DING DANG JOB YO I'M JUST TRYING TO SIMULATE AUTONOMOUS AGENTS NOT AGENTS FROM HELL YOU FEEL ME
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Pretty much after couple of years of entering the real world I lost faith, not because I found myself not able to cope and learn but the amount of chaos and closed minded people that you face everyday pushed me to pursue my MBA.
Now I'm slowly drifting away to the management part because I've had enough with this, its just not worth it. I'll keep development for self entertainment in personal projects, and nothing more. -
Although iv only been developing in android for around 7 months yet I fail to see the appeal of Kotlin.
It has no real advantage over Java. In my opinion its fucking lazy code. It might look pretty but that's about it. So I don't see why employers are opening their arseholes for people with Kotlin experience.
Im pretty sure they are doing it because its "the next big thing". If you can write solid Java I dont know what the big deal is.. Maybe someone can shed some light on this..
Android studio can convert Java to Kotlin with one click. So No Mr employer I do not see your reason why you employed someone over me because he has Kotlin experience. Its fucked!! So that project I handed you... the one where I had pride in my ability to apply solid Java... Yes remember fucking Java everyone?!... well it works exactly the fucking same and in my opinion is much more verified and readable. SOOOO FUCK YOUUUU MR EMPLOYER!!!!! Go FuckYourStupidLittleKotlinBumChumsRightInTheirShitRiddenFuckHoles!!!!!!
Rant over...3 -
PHP are you freaking kidding me right now? Why are you forcing me to write ugly and meaningless code like this?
Today I just learned that boolval("false") will return true.
I'd deffo expect this from casting operators, but not from a function which even has val inside of its name.
What purpose is to have functions like these in language if they just serve as plain wrapper for casting operators8 -
I'm getting more and more fed up with my fellow colleagues who encounter errors in the execution of their code and come to me like bumbling idiots..." I don't know ow what's wrong ... It's not working"
DID YOU READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE? I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT...EVEN IF ITS NOT 100% CLEAR GOOGLE IT. BET YOU FIND THE ANSWER
To add insult to idiocracy...I recently over heard grumblings of being displeased at current level - fuck off you lazy ass child - if you can't read an error and Google for the damned solution in today's era search engines and developer assistance, you don't deserve to call yourself a "Senior Developer"
People like to act like there's some great secret to becoming a competent developer...I'm posit over half is simple reading comprehension2 -
I feel a bit like shit.
I started a new job about 2 months ago. Company is great, culture is amazing,project is interesting, processes are what i always dreamed.
This is after having learned the job from scratch at a startup that was all you can imagine. Tedious,hoping to be something that was not yet and so on....
So we are coming at the last week of a sprint. Its Tuesday and most stories are competed. We dont have a culture of jumping on others PR, its kind of like this is my PR kind of mentality. This is not established its more like an untold rule. But coming to the end i figured, especially if i knew exactly how to fix the PR that o should jump in a make it happen.
Person who owns those prs unassigned themselves from those and added me instead kind of like: “well take it if you want it....”
What are your rules regarding others prs and sprints?4 -
I HATE being a fullstack dev. I am responsible for everything. Its so exhausting because you cant focus on one thing.
Or its just me not being able to organize things....5 -
So its been around a month since I started my internship in this company. Seriously hating it. Most of the people are nice enough..but the work though..I get that since you're not really an IT company then theres no coding and stuff,sure.So, you put me in this 'IT related department' where I basically can't do anything other than be useless until you have documents for me to edit. Really?? The least you can do is just give me something challenging to work with but noooo just copy paste that stuff and change the damn fonts. "Oh you're done already? Pretty fast" well how long do you expect me to do this thing?? The only reason why it would take me a whole day to edit stuff is because your laptop's Word literally restarts itself every minute!!! How the @#$/# do you do anything with this?!!
//its gonna be a long 7 months....9 -
Our clients came from abroad to have 4 days of business meetings and planing about next stage of product development. Of course they wanted to go shopping and to restaurants etc. Obviously they can not call a cab because they cannot say the name even close to its correct pronunciation. Who do you think needed to babysit them? You guessed right - me. FUCK MY LIFE2
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My company just released its website today. Previously, it just used its parent company's site.
Now, the problem is that it sucks big time. Awful design, pixelated stock photos, bad navigation, and broken grammar.
In the company's defence, it's not a web shop. It employs zero web devs. The site was built by an external company.
But if you are like me, you visit company websites before you apply for a job, and in this case, it would bed a big red flag.
Or maybe the hard-core embedded devs they are looking to employ wouldn't notice? Maybe they are all stuck in the year 2000 as well? I used to be a web developer so maybe my criteria are broken?3 -
So, I was asked to build something. Not a problem. The moment it was complete. "Actually we need it to do this instead". Not a problem. "Actually it's not needed, can we go back to the old way".
Contain this chain for several months with the exact same changes back and forth, back and forth. Each time its two days in cost and time. Meanwhile, it takes me seconds to revert and commit from a branch to do the changes.
I'll use the time to catch up of other things but...
MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND ALREADY!
If you waste my time, I'm going to waste yours.5 -
I always rant about Ubuntu but today I'm gonna be fair, I had a 30 seconds look at the new Windows 11 user interface: is a so fucked up guresome mess, with its center-aligned taskbar, rounded windows corners and recent docs section taking up half of the center-aligned start menu, that it makes me want to puke before the entrance of the closest Microsoft's company building. And you now what? Such building is actually not farther than 20 minutes from where I live, so I probably will.13
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contrarian dev guru types are just losers who couldn't make it in industry or business with their (lack) of skills, but are so sour and embittered they continue to shovel their own garbage on everyone else
god its just so annoying "oh i do it only this way, and its the RIGHT way, you must do it this way"
this UI feature that literally exists everywhere else? "oh no those are bad, no one uses it and its not a best practice"
get the fuck out of my way, you're just slowing me down2 -
Any vim/nvim users here? Why do you use it despite having to setup that thingie for hours? People like me who wants to try vim/nvim, the setup process scares the crap out of us. What I want? I just want to be able to do what I can already do in vscode. all I wanted my vim/nvim to be able to debug TypeScript/JavaScript with Nodejs. There's packages like, Vim-vscode shit, that takes help from vscode to debug it using vscode! why not use vscode then?
I'm tired of trying nvim/vim over and over again, and every time, it feels like I'm just a little luckier that before. If it continues, Its gonna take forever to setup. No thank you! I'm going back to vscode. Let me know when there's a gui kinda thing where I can see all the available packages for neovim and its just one click/enter install away. else, consider me sleeping...16 -
Intellij / vim
I primarily use intellij(-based ides) or vim.
Jetbrains is doing an awesome job with the intellij platform.
If its GoLand, IDEA, Pycharm, Webstorm, Rider or DataGrip.
Once you have indexed your project it works flawless. The autocomplete is EXTREME fast and very good. You got quick actions, refactoring and barely need to use your mouse.
Everything works fine. And if there is something missing there is an plugin for it. And if there even doesnt exist a plugin already, you can code one!
The price is relatively high, but its worth every damn cent!
For light editing and ansible stuff i primarily use vim.
Its good to go and i am pretty sure i am using not even 1 percent of the features. Although i am learning new stuff about it every day.
Its cool if i just want to code distraction free and dont want to leave my sweet $HOME. Yeah i am a linux & bash fetishist, although sometimes its driving me crazy.4 -
as you guys know this is still related on my prev rants, today i just found out that we cant bring or use headphone while we are on our work stations and guess what you cant chat with your team mates too unless its official business regarding the project other topics such as hobbies or anything are not allowed and you will get reported to the boss...
like G*d dammit you cant code since everything is blocked.. you cant install dev tools and sh*t you cant browse any websites *good thing is the did not block this site.. so far* ... you cant talk... its just staring at the ceiling for 8 freaking hrs -_- someone pls kill me8 -
Fucking google 2 step auth and their lack of customer service.
I have my account setup with my phone and a backup email account. No backup keys, since I only found out about those today! Thanks for letting me know this late in the game -.-
And yet. After I made a clean install of the os on my laptop. Tried to log back into my account. I am not getting text messages or emails to my backup emails (even though its allegedly sent.... And no its not in the junk mail) to validate my 2 factor auth.... Like fuck you!!!
If you gonna give us the ability to fort knox our accounts. At the bare minimum have some customer support to at least be train to answer a phone and tell me if your servers are having an issue or something. Im so in the fucking dark here and cant access shit.1 -
Narrator(me): currently on keeping up with the clientele
Client: sooo-- go live in 2 days lol?
Me: im still waitin for finalised content from you and your designers
Client: oh , can you work the public holiday tomorrow , in anticipation for perhaps the of chance we will have sent xyz content
Me: hm tomorrows a public holiday.. but sure
Them: oh im in another timezone so its really 2 days - 12 hours
Narrator(me): thats when the boy realised not to let his guard down -
client: "can you build out a staging server for us? here's all the code, everything you need"
me: "awesome, looking good, i have almost everything i need, just give me the credentials for the server, and I'll get started installing all the infrastructure"
client: "ok, try these!"
me: "doesn't work"
client: "this one?"
me: "doesn't work..."
client: "how about this one?"
me: "STILL NOT WORKING!!!"
imagine you want someone to do stuff on your server and you don't even know the root SSH password.... smh
why is this always a problem, use fucking 1password or something its 40 bucks a year, secure, and you can organize alllll your passwords. don't be a fucking boomer and write them on a piece of paper, or worse, apparently like my client, never know it or have it in the first place.5 -
Oh god why... Why is it that every time I work with software defined radios, I keep on having to rely on not just incomplete, but at times misleading documentation 😩
Last time was GNU radio, with the doc telling me that I could define an input for a processing block using either a type or a (type, size) tupple, only for the actual code to scream at me in confusion upon my passing a tupple.
Now is that other SDR's SDK, which, as if being built upon eclipse wasn't bad enough, managed to make its serial communications confusing. Why can't you just let me set a callback to rx interrupts, you daft punks...1 -
I made a wordpress website to one of my friends long time back as he wants to teach online and sell his videos. (he is studying MBBS)
Yesterday suddenly he calls me and says our site has been compromised and its not longer secure.
Me: After seeing screenshot, no actually site doesn't have ssl and in recent chrome updates http site is being flagged.
He: Okay, I saw video on youtube how to buy ssl.
Me: its not just installing the certs, all the links and images has to be on https so it will take sometime for me.
He: Today, Website is no longer opening please help after putting ssl as per the video...
Me: What the hell? Who asked you to do that? Are you nuts?
He:................. Sorry, 😐2 -
I fucking hate working with older software
I have a visual installer project, and it automatically finds the dependencies to make the setup file.
if I rebuild a certain reference, in which I made no changes, and then refresh the dependencies, it will add another dependency that already exists, but outside the dependency folder. So now I have two exactly fucking the same dependencies.
i can remove it, but removing it doesn't change any of my files. So there is nothing to commit. If you restart the project, its back.
And first it required me to actually add the dll to the build folder before it would build. And suddenly not anymore.
Im pretty sure its either the outdated installer software or visual studio 2013 fucking with me.
It also randomly added a dependency from blend. Which is apparently a known bug, but never got fixed in the two updates after they recognized it as a bug.
Fuxx you microsoft... -
oh my goodness if I dhsfjhsjfhj
i can barely type right now im so frusterated
I've told my manager multiple times that I don't feel comfortable with the task hes trying to give me because it feels way too large (its designing/programming/testing/documenting an entire prototype cloud file sync application and server backend service on my own, replacing one we have had for several years) and he still just ignores me and persists that I should be thankful for the opportunity and challenge.
It pisses me off so much when people say dumb shit like, 'its a great opportunity to learn' at work. No it isn't. Your boss is going to be on your fucking case for taking too long or not delivering enough, and thats exactly what happened. He got upset and said he was expecting more things to have been written down by now, like design notes. I was just fuming. Design notes? I'm not even a freaking designer, I've never designed any type of big software ever, what the fuck do you want from me.
On top of that, I don't know where the hell he expects me to get time for this. I'm apparently also devops so I get yoinked off of anything im doing if some stupid thing breaks in some other environment about something I really don't even care about. Any other random ass task just gets dumped on me too. I'm supposed to be a 'junior developer', and get paid as such (i've wanted to go to the intermediate level but get told the title doesn't actually matter and no pay raise for you) but I get the responsibilties of a whole fucking team dumped on me and its just
do I just quit now? I'm just, for fuck sakes man4 -
Went to meet up last night. I was there acting like I have no experience and was just starting to learn programming. Suddenly this guy turns and faced me he said non verbatim “don’t use JavaScript thats the worst programming language, its used by wanna be software engineer. Use c# they have blazor so you wont have to code using JS”. My blood pressure went up guys. I understand this because hes kinda old and dont want to learn new things but i got caught off guard. To be honest im not mad, im just sad though, imagine if i was really new and had no experience and just started few months ago. All the hard work and studying will be nothing. Btw hes nice he offered me free food and beer its just JS.
If you’re learning any language specifically JS. Dont mind the naysayers. Just learn it and be good at it. Languages has its use cases. Conversation with whats better programming language is useless and a waste of time thats what my professor said and its true.15 -
— You and other scientists like you., — my sister said after tasting a half cake half cookie, made with wall mold instead of yeast. — You liked to say “no fate”, implying each one chooses their own path as science liberated them. People are equal. You’re right though: they are. They’re equally fragile and meaningless. They indeed have no fate; not because of freedom, but because the bomb you made will obliterate everyone on this planet. There will be no survivors. No fate indeed.
— Wait, but…, — I replied.
— Now go. Lay down in an empty hall somewhere its not real, generated procedurally. You dying there will maybe make me forgive you.2 -
Dear xcode,
you fckn bitch did it again. I really wanted to do some iOS development, I swear. But you are like an abusive relationship, I have this weird habit of coming back to you even though I am getting fucked in the ass in parallel.
I love Swift but I despise you xcode. Randomly fucking up my workflow, and then it is clean build folder, reset package cache, restart xcode. Again and again and again you fuck things up out of nowhere. And from time to time, you just have to install the newest version of xcode because its so fucked up its easier to download this MASSIVE asshole than to even try to fix anything if you know its just xcode again.
Yeah, fuck extensions and formatting. Just fuck humanly tolerable build time. Fuck you xcode.
I am not an experienced dev with iOS nor am I a common Mac user but this is just wrong. I feel violated and the joy of development sucked out of my soul while I try to navigate through the overloaded interface.
I am not even going into details about iOS development, its just that xcode is the gatekeeper to get me the fuck out of this miserable place that is native iOS development.
Arrivederci, suckers.4 -
(I am not a native english speaker so please excuse any mistakes I make while writing this)
I know, during an internship, its good to see all different sides of the job and of course QA is one of them. Its definately good to know as a dev later how QA works, I can see that. But why the F U C K do I have to test the same 3 pages (not websites, PAGES) since 5 days for 8 hours a day even though NOTHING CHANGES?! The page doesn't get updated, I am just sitting there clicking around and wasting my time I could use to learn more PHP or jQuery or WTFEver. But no! I have to sit there for hours and hours, doing nothing but staring at a page where I already tested literally anything that can be tested 4 days ago. If you don't have a good task for me over there in QA, then STOP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME instead of forcing me to continue testing this stupid website even though testing already completed a few days ago!!! I don't even have Test Cases to follow, its just “yea look at this page and click around is something is broken“ for 5 days. There is nothing broken, your fucking website works fine. And now STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!6 -
Yesterday was "but you are Russian" day. It was somehow decided by people in my office, that Russians are the fixers. Basically its the regular flow: Fix the wifi, install me a Windows, Fix VM image, fix my sd card coz its fucked up, I have issues with my hotspot, air conditioner is not cooling enough. But whats weird... Those people are fucking developers themselves!! Wtf?! I got a call from US team (I'm in Israel) and they wanted me to fix their laptop over the phone!!!!!! FUCK!!😕
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#Rant
I work for a client that introduced a "roadmap" with tasks labeled with task numbers in May this year. And its 1st July and development-wise we are at task #15. And the client havent asked us to deploy anything yet. Not even task #1.
So its been 2 months of us just developing features in our local machines and now its pissing me off.
What would you do in my situation ?4 -
!dev
I love donating anonymously. But sometimes, people just make it so hard to stay anonymous to donate! -_- I mean, if a thousand people are donating for you, its not like, you gonna go to each and everyone's house and thank them. Its not like after 1 year, you're gonna be able to remember at least half of their names. So why bother? If someone wanted to be public about their donation, they would do that even if you don't call him and ask, "Who are you? Why you are helping me?"
I'm helping you because I can and I want to. Helping others is something that makes me happy. But I wanna be anonymous!
I want to be the devilest person on the outside but I also wanna be the softest person on the inside. So, let me be it!2 -
It is on this day i feel inspiration.
Its taken 14 hours to debug the physics and math behind a particular mechanism in the project I've been assigned to for months now.
But I got it right, and fuck is that feeling incredible. It's that feeling that makes me want to continue to do what I do. So fuck you, you obscure, brain fuck of a bug. You will not win EVER! I WILL find you, I WILL make sense of you, and I WILL destroy you. -
my phone is dying. Very slowly, i see the first signs of decay, i probably have months or even more than a year, but it will die on me. I knew it will happen.
I currently have an asus phone (ZE552KL), it is technically DualSim or SD-Card, has a camera that is..badish and sometimes the bluetooth wont start and then it reboots. Also the camera has a pure software bug where it isnt able to ever focus properly, but with tricks you can get it to work again. The asus forums constantly refer to sending it to a repair station (wherever one is in germoney). That annoys me.
Back to dying. For now its definetly the battery.
I remember when you could change the battery on a whim. Great times. My last phone died duo battery aswell (well, the gps module broke aswell so it wasnt all flowers besides the battery).
My current asus phone was something around 300 € and according to reviews 2 years ago it has a good bang for the buck ratio.
I havent looked into the market, just a cursory glance. But apparently if you want a phone that has a decent battery life, is not basically a tablet, has an sd card slot and a camera that is not total rubbish it gets hard. Its hard to balance those things, and if you want a swappeable battery all hope is lost.
Further i have started to misstrust chinese phones, the asus software support is wacky and some stuff is weird. I suspect its as bad with huwai and all the others. Also its apparently kinda hard to get any resemblance of quality in accessoires for non-mainstream brands (i mean cases and display protection)
So i dread the future, the future in which i need a new phone that is somewhere in the mid price segments and fits my needs. In the end i will take something suboptimal and be unhappy with it till it dies.
I despise the phone market.rant cheap quality no sd card phonemarket off-brand no swappeable battery all is lost need new phone5 -
As a junior in a print communication agency, my boss wanted me to make their portfolio.
Their requirements were: a full animated flash website (in 2010...). Understand, they had been bought the Adobe license...
After several months of works and ton of alerts about flash death, the website has been deployed.
My boss did not understand why he could not visit the website with its iPhone...
The website had lived 2 months and will was replaced by a static "wix" alternative... So much work for nothing because the boss did not trust a junior dev.
Biggest lesson: Always begin with fast proof of concept to validate your hypotheses for you and for your boss ;) -
'cracking' in our language (Turkish) is using the same meaning with 'to break' verb
+i want a program for drawing something and i searched for it. i found a program name, photoshop. do you have it?
_i dont have its files but if you want i can find
+can i install it myself?
_it needs cracking. can you do it?
+why we broke program? i cant use broken program. i am not a nerd. give me health program. dont fool with me
_?!?!?!?1 -
Unity Engine lures you into trying it out with its simple starting Tools.
But once you realize this is just a fassade - it's too late and the trap got you.
You're now in limbo of to simple code which isn't compatible with the more complicated features!
Oh you try to fix this bug here? Let me suggest you 6 year old solutions from Unity Version that are not supported anymore!
Sorry just have to say it: Unity is big pile of sh*t! I don't know who had the idea of making this frankenstein-monster!
Just to consider thinking not only making one monster - NO!
Lets do a whole bunch of iterations and versions of this monster and yes you guessed it: they are not compatible to each other!1 -
Deciding whether I should buy a PS5 is driving me nuts these days.
It has started to grow its library of amazing games. You may know about the Marvel Spiderman 2 trailer. It looks fire AF. So I know I'll enjoy playing games on it.
But I am afraid it'll take a hit on my productivity. So alright, don't play on weekdays.
But then it'll keep collecting dust and I don't want to buy something I'll use only couple hours a week. And who's to say I'll play every weekend? You skip one weekend and bam! You forget you even had a PS5.
It'll cost me about 500 USD which is right around the mark of me spending money that's on the umph side. It's not too much to make a dent in my savings but at the same time not too little that I don't have to think about it.
I'd probably end up not buying it because I am 30 years old and people like me shouldn't be wasting time playing games.18 -
Why is there evil in the world?
"Because of free will 🤓🤓🤓"
---
🌌 Universe A (ours):
❌ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to imagine a new color
❌ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to grow wings and fly
❌ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to create a new planet
❌ today i can "use my free will", but if i use it for something God doesn't want me to, ill burn forever
---
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to commit evil
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to rape, kill, start wars
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to lie, deceive, suffer
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to get diseases
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to die of starvation
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to die of natural disasters
✅ today i can "use my free will", but I NEED TO suffer so i can build my character
---
What does this tell us about the creator of the existence?
By analyzing this, you can clearly see how:
The most HARMLESS things, are disabled for us to use with our "free will",
while the most HARMFUL things are allowed for us to use with our "free will"
What do YOU think:
What IF, An all-good, all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful GOD of the existence created a universe:
---
🌌 Universe B (imaginary):
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to imagine a new color
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to grow wings and fly
✅ today i can "use my free will", but it IS POSSIBLE to create a new planet
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to imagine doing evil
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to rape, kill, start wars
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to lie, deceive, suffer
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to get diseases
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to die of starvation
✅ today i can "use my free will", but its IMPOSSIBLE to die of natural disasters
✅ today i can "use my free will", but i do NOT NEED TO suffer and still build my character
✅ today i can "use my free will", but if i use it for something God doesn't want me to, i do NOT burn at all
---
Please tell me, non biased, rational objective answer, is Universe A or Universe B better?
Tell me why, and give a very Very good reason, why couldnt Universe B exist?
If God exists, why didn't God create Universe B? Why did he CHOOSE to create universe A?
"if God exists, he is either Not-All-Powerful, or Not-All-Good"
- Neil Degrasse Tyson
Im having a midlife existential crisis.
If God is real, WHO said he HAS TO be All-Good?
If God is NOT All-Good, would you believe in such God? Would you worship such God?
What if God is NOT All-Good? This would explain why Universe A was chosen over Universe B.
What do YOU think, why would an ALL-GOOD ALL-LOVING ALL-POWERFUL GOD CHOOSE TO CREATE UNIVERSE A, WITH PAIN, SUFFERING AND EVIL?13 -
This afternoon called Internet Provider because the internet was’t working. They fixed it, good.
Few hours later, the phone line is not working. So, called them to fixed. They both internet and phone line, and they claim its an issue from their systems. WTF! What kind of shitty software are you using.
Now I am transferred to third level of support in order to fix this problem! And I have to wait for them to call me2 -
Person: CooCooK4Choo, i see you're doing more than one form of development. What do you want to do as a developer?
Me: I want to do everything i can possibly do.
Person: You have to pick a stream to go into, you can't do Web Applications, 3D Development, Unity Game Development, Swift and Java.
Why can't i do everything? As a junior developer i feel that doing everything keeps you prepared for those unwanted situations. Besides Its not like i'll be doing Web Base Applications all my life. if i do, i'll probably kill myself before 30(currently 21).3 -
Is there a market for novelty ducks? I shared an office with a coworker so i cannot really speak to mine, i still got this one just for the sake of having one. It looked a bit different than the usual ones but its not exactly novelty, but it got me thinking...
anyway, i present you "standing duck with hat"3 -
Confluence WYSIWYG-editor shall burn in a thousand hells. This thing pretends to be smart, yet all its autoformatting achieves is to enrage me. I don't remember dropping so many f-bombs in such a short time frame.
I hoped to ease to the pain by writing markdown, yet I can only write markdown in a new insert markup window which does not even comprehend nested lists. And don't get me started that it wants to push its Confluence Wiki syntax first. Why does it need to reinvent the wheel?
Why can't I disable the WYSIWYG feel of it and just write plain old markdown?
Confluence, you are part of the problem!
I rather keep the documetnation inside the git repostory inside of md files. But no, confluence shall be our source of soon to be outdated documentation.
Sigh. -
After switching distros ~ every 6 months for years, I came to the conclusion that one of the main factors to decide if I like it or not is its package manager..
Not saying that some are better or worse than others, just that i have my preferences..
How important is the package manager to you guys, do you even use it via terminal or are you using a GUI (in which case it doesn’t really matter, does it?..)
Kind of a random question but would be interesting for me to know..
I like pacman, not even sure why, it just feels right to me and apt-get just because I know it best😅2 -
It pisses me off. When i have to use older technology or software because new technology or databases or operating system will less community support if they have that, then they'll say it's not battle tested and the best one is "its difficult to find people who know this technology" *slowclaps*
In the end you end up using almost the same thing that everyone else uses. -
This is my worst day ever! I so fucking hate the sh**t gitkraken right now! Its always slow and buggy i got it and i accept it but its a lyer!
I wanted to reinstall my pc (linux mint) and before i started i pushed my feature repository to github. The gitkraken shows me its fine i pushed cool down bro. I reinstaled then i see... the f**ing repo is not in the f**ing github.
Right now i have to up all f**ing night, i so pissed off!! I'm new in my company, they hired me because i have a lot of experience on javascript and now, the fucking gitkraken destroyed my entire work.
Okay i know, its my fault to because i not pushed my repo early, but come on!!
Thank you gitkraken! Thank you! I will never use this lyer, slow, buggy piece shit again!!5 -
Good morning devRant community, so currently im on my early morning commute to College, and it got me thinking.
So I’m very passionate about programming but i also love playing around with the Stock Markets, Are there Software Engineering positions which work with the markets? I’ve been thinking its called a “Quant” but im not too sure, Also does anyone have any possible experience within the field? What it takes to get in etc?.
I highly appreciate it! Hope you have an amazing day/night. :-)10 -
ITS VBA again!
I made two misstakes today.
The first one was touching vba, the second one was assuming things.
The two statements are almost the same except the braces. VBA uses IF [condition] THEN..i soo foulhardly assumed that, when you just chain conditions together with an AND its taken as one statement. While in reality it apparently ignores some conditions and not some others.
I really dont bother with VBA a lot and try to avoid it, but upon occassion the need arises. I still dont know why the brace variant does the expected behaviour while the without does not. It seemingly does not ignore thew first two conditions but the third which makes it even more confusing. But as i dont know enough about VBA to say with confidence its on Excel and not on me i squelch my rage and tend the happiness that it now works..somehow. -
WOW -__- they left me to code the SPO Teams website when im coding a Text rpg engine while Over clocked is fixing his tablet while Solario is helping his other friends code his java + lua = andlua mod menus for android Screw ya )=<
@overclockedgd
@Solario360
im not even good at website designs LOL its gonna be a website that wants to commit DDoS iill post the final product and if you survive through the whole website without getting your computer molested props to you =)14 -
Local company has an API service that I'm interested in playing with. Most services would just have you sign up or just read the open api docs. But not this one. Wants me to jump through hoops because its part of their "KYC" policy. I just want to test something before I think of using it for real and they can't provide any test accounts/environment for that. Oh well, at least, I can document my rough experience and perhaps guide others to do and use (or not use) it.
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Not a rant but just curious to see what mobile OS do all you devs on devRant use?
I recently moved from Android to iOS. Doing so has made me realise how much I loved using Android but due to its inherent stuttery lag, inferior standby time and memory management, I will be staying with iOS for now.
What are your reasons on using the mobile OS that you are using now?7 -
Okay okay.
Zero Touch Provisioning and cisco devices is a joke.
You buy serveral devices for thousands of dollars and want to provision on startup.
And this shitty thing just tells me I that it is not possible to start ZTP on its management port. Oh my god.
And you cant even provide a plain config file. No it muste be a python script that will be executed on the router.
This is hilarious2 -
rant!
So I've started working on a new web based project with one of my teachers. So he says to me,
"I wont do any of the coding, its all donkey work. Adjusting the text to be in the vertical and horizontal centre and etc etc. I will provide you with the architecture, for now you will be making CRUD operations."
I understand where his frustration comes from after years of experience coding the basics again and again but assigning me some work and labelling that very work as donkey work is not the best way to motivate me! -
Omg!!!. Its a Sunday. Not a Monday. No one else is here but the security guard. Why are all the fucking lights on when I walk into the office. Co worker says oh well is it okay if we leave the lights on for a bit......like why 🤔. Let me remind you. All my devices are in dark mode. This is the worst 😫.7
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Who does find themselves sailing through the process of 'reinventing the wheel'?
Im not asking about anything specific, but the feelings and doubts whispering that probably you really are going down the rabbit whole by doing so, and so is your free time -or not so free-
The thing is, I don't know if really, really this kind of decisions are genuine when it comes for example to a whole new framework, editor or solution... Its case specific, but I have plenty of hard times to keep on due to family and friends not really understanding what I am doing, specially if its intended for developers to use, makes one feel its just thin air, and I have just me to hold into the strong reasons to do so.
Leave a comment if are also 'reinventing the wheel' in any way or want to share your opinion or story on the matter!6 -
Workflow? More like chasing answer from a community that is not, and never has been, famous for its pedagogical skills. So hand me some coffee, weed and/or some snacks because I'll still search high and low, skip sleep and build up a few hundred pages browsing history so that in the end, I'll reach the understanding I'm looking for anyways. Even if whatever person trying to help me - in their delusion that I already know everything, except for that thing I'm asking about of course - really, REALLY just failed at saying "that goes there because of that" instead of "did you try insertSomeAppropriateRandomNameOfAThingYouAssumeEveryoneKnowsHere..?".
But who am I kidding? The tools are better than ever (IDE'S). The pedagogical skills are getting its own arenas to build on and its coming along greatly (coding block apps, treehouse and the likes etc. etc).
And no matter the struggle, I can't escape that I love coding and learning more than anything else.
Now how do I.. Where.. When.. Why the.. -
Hello Everyone,
I am trying to learn to create apps with Android Studio and Swift5. However, my current laptop is not okay to work with its 4 GB RAM.
My question is, i am planning to buy a MacBook Air I5 8GB RAM 256 GB SSD. Do you think it is enough for me to learn coding in the first place and create apps?
Let me also state the fact that additional RAMs like 16 GB and bigger SSD size are really expensive in my country. So i’m looking for something that can work Swift and Android Studio (with Emulator) with no problem.
It would be great to hear from you about your experiences and advices.
Cheers!13 -
!long_rant
So, my previous rant was one of the most liked rant for me so far, in which I simply stated I am moving to Ubuntu.
I feel ashamed to say that I am moving back to Windows(for now at least).
The reason is not Ubuntu, I actually found it lovely. Its my friggin laptop. While there are many other problems, but the biggest is that the wifi adapter's range has fallen drastically in linux. On Windows it was working fine, I also checked Kali and tails(live) and both show the same issue. My router was literally 3 meters away and this shitty laptop couldn't connect. Since, it connects on Windows properly, its obviously a driver problem, the shitty creators haven't released an API for linux devs. Now, I have tried a lot of suggestions from SO but if I can't find a solution I will either have to arrange another laptop or simply go back to that always updating OS. There is another problem, the graphics card is not even being recognized. No idea how shitty hardare this laptop has.
Btw its an HP ac110tx.
Tell you what, I recently bought it from Paytm and thought its an i7 5gen processor with a graphics card for a reasonable price, what can go wrong. This is the issue. Hardware was shitty. I hate this laptop. If I had the money I wouldn't think twice before dumping this laptop on ebay/quickr. But, we are struggling devs(at least I am), don't have a big amount coming soon.
Very depressed and angry!13 -
Is it just me or is it annoyingly finnicky to get an android device connected to Linux? I want to transfer files but its not getting mounted (unlike all my other devices like USB sticks/HDDs). And yes mtp is turned on on my device. How do you guys do that? Any convenient way? In this case I would actually appreciate a non CLI method5
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Anyone herr tried API Platform?
I know I know. Generic ass name but that is what the framework is called.
Its in php, it contains a lot of goodies from(try and guess...no?? Ok I'll tell ya) the Symfony platform(go figure right) so if you are familiar with Laravel or well....Symfony then I guess that you will be good to go. I ain't...so fuck me because I only know Laravel.
Either way the concepts are very simple. Configs is donde almost entirely with YAML, i dunno how to feel about that, not used at writing routes on yaml, but the framework is thus far quite powerful. About to test jwt auth so wish me luck!4 -
Spoonfeeding level 6666 and its still failing !!!
Me: ".....when that happens, press CTRL+C ,when you start seeing dollar sign you can enter command."
Co-Worker: I already logged in to unix server using putty and hardcoded the doplar sign,its still not working !!
:/3 -
I recently joined a good MNC as a .net fullstack dev and right now contributing mostly to the frontend part to one of our projects. I have another team member writing the APIs and when i look at how the middletier is written and how APIs are structured, its just plain shit nothing else. It hardly follows any restful principles, returns weird response code, no design patterns at all, in short its a 10 year experienced dev writing code like a fresher.
I tried to communicate my concerns in a nice way but they were not taken very well. And when later I am asked to work on that codebase it will be like jumping in a pile of shit.
Now my question to you wonderfull people out there is, how do you handle situations like this? Do you have any suggestions for me please?5 -
I‘m currently working fulltime in IT, i would say as a business analyst/ requirement engineer. I do this job for 2 years now and its no fun for me because its only interfaces we work on.I am also studying software engineering in the evenings.
At the UAS programming is really fun for me and seeing progress instead of only interfaces really makes me happy..but i am scared to not have skills for starting as a developer fulltime and get called dump or something like this. Do you guys have any advice for me? Is it ok to start as a junior directly after UAS? -
i hate it when Im coding and my friends joke around and call me a hacker or nerd when they couldn't even print anything if i told them how to do it plus its not hacking if you believe its hacking when im typing code on python or c# online then you need to go back to school6
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JFC, who thought that handling multilingual menus like that is even remotely a good idea?
When you add menu item in one language it will show up in EVERY language regardless if it's translated or not. Every godforsaken module that's supposed to fix it breaks something else and the only way to make it work is patching the FREAKING CORE.
And what's worse people in issues ticket have the GAL to question if showing menu item only in its given language by default is the intuitive approach.
Plus there's no way to preview menu structure in any language other than default admin language, except adding language switcher to admin pages manually, that shit should show up automatically the moment I enabled menu localization.
FUCK Drupal8+ and its "We integrated that module in the core! Except we shaved off half the functionality!" approach.
And if you want me to use Drupal Console, then FUCKING FIX IT, it's been uninstallable for the past three months! -
doing an assignment.
me, thinking to myself: "why the heck everybody pastes over an nginx config when they want to script switching the autoindex on or off?
thats not linux at all you sed the fucker that's how its done...", feeling all smart
> type it
> test it
looking fine, as always. im born for this shit
> run it
>restart nginx
restart fails.
i check if i didnt sed any whitespaces, everything seems fine
>restart nginx
fail again.
look closer
.
.
.
.
4 lines below intended target: "locatioff" lmfao3 -
Some people love to use keyboards. I also wanna use a keyboard and not a big fan of mouse stuff while coding. It is not a crime. You wanna use your text editor to use it. Why some of the folks came on desk daily to tell me about their editors? Use what works for you. I like it, I use it. Its all...4