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When your boss asks you to debug some crappy legacy code and you need to bring in the heavy artillery
7 -
Client: This works correctly, but I don’t like the code.
Me: What exactly do you not like?
Client: There are barely any lines of code. You need to add more to make it better.
I...I don’t know what to say.25 -
Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!
18 -
Boss throwing up a huge source code that I didn't see before.
Boss: Hey, this is an app from a contractor to do XYZ.
Me: Oh, okay.. so?
Boss: You will continue the code and the maintenance now. How much time do you need to implement X feature?
Me: I need to see the code first, can't say nothing now.
Boss: ok I need estimation now.
Me: *getting nervous* I need to see the fuckening code first. if you want estimation now I would say one year..
Boss: what?
Me: what?18 -
One of my worst meetings, as the sheer rage was unbelievable.
Backstory:
Architect: "Stop duplicating code", "stop copy pasting code", "We need to reuse code more", "We need to look at a new pattern for unit tests" etc.
Meeting:
Architect: What did you want to talk about?
Me: I built a really simple lightweight library to solve a lot of our problems. Its built to make unit testing our code much easier, devs only need to change a small bit of how they work.
Architect: I like the pattern a lot, looks great ... but why a library? can we not just copy the code from project to project?
... do you have a twin or something?2 -
Me to IT team: I need a more powerful machine to run my optimization code on.
IT: Okay take this - 64 gigs + i7HQ
Me after an hour:
21 -
When one of the newest developers submits code that looks 100x better than his usual stuff and you respond "You need to include the link to where you got this"3
-
My teacher said: "You can choose the language of your code, but when you will need to make a great program you will use Java"
17 -
"I don't need to comment my code because I will remember what everything does/stands for later..."7
-
I spend over 3 hours thinking why my code doesn't work. It turns out you need to attach the code to the game object. Who would have known...........
10 -
Boss:(pastes a bunch of Python code in Slack)
Boss: Need to convert a long list of ints to a comma separated string. Can you finish it for me? Need it now, I'm in a hurry!!
Me : (Delete all boss's code)
Me : input=[1,2,3,4,5,6,....] output=",".join(str(e) for e in input)
Boss: Damn you! Thanks. Brunch on me today.5 -
To everyone that writes their rants and comments as code like
Console.writeline("something something")
Stop, get some help.
You don't need to prove that you know how to print a string okay ?16 -
Anyone else notice this trend:
1. Don't go to uni / drop out (who needs education).
2. Get a job in IT, it pays well (who cares you don't have a structured logic).
3. Learn need-to-know stuff only (I only need to know my code).
4. Tell others they should get into programming, it's not that hard.
5. Get asked about the workings of a computer, but that's not in your domain of work. "I only code".
Millennial much ?13 -
"I need you to teach me how to code, so people can't fool me around when they start to speak about apps"
-My boss6 -
A new urgent request today…
“ITS URGENT WE NEED THIS CODE IN IMMEDIATELY I DONT CARE IF ITS FRIDAY WE NEED IT THERE BY ONE HOUR”
“What is happening?”
“ADD THIS CODE TO OUR CODE”
(A snippet to track marketing conversions from fb)
“Uhhh it’s Friday and our product won’t release to the public for 2 months anyway?”
“YOU DONT GET HOW URGENT IT IS, MUST BE THERE IN AN HOUR OR WE’LL LOSE DATA”
“O….k”
Spoiler: data said that today we had no customers on an unreleased project. Go figure!5 -
I code for fun until it isn’t any fun anymore, then I code because I need to finish.
But no code is ever finished.
I shall code forever!2 -
"Why do you need version control? The latest code is all we need."
An email from a bosses new deputy to us...5 -
Team says their code is done, tested, and working. They have merged all of their code and now to merge it with mine.
Take care of the merge, go to test it, and NONE OF IT WORKS.
Ok... So maybe something in my code did it. NOPE. Still crashes without mine.
Thank goodness for version control.
Now need to help define what "tested and working" means...4 -
Google: You need a fast website to rank well.
Me: Ok, so why does your Google Analytics, Google Tag Manager, and Google Optimize code drag my site down to the seventh circle of Hell in performance?
Google: You need a fast website to rank well.
Me: ...4 -
Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?
Me
Yeah sure why not.
Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.
Just finished......Realised had to rant....1 -
When the client says "I just need a really easy edit, shouldn't take more than a few minutes."
*in my head* "Oh really? Can you do it? No? Then don't tell me how easy it is going to be to find the one line of code I need to edit out of thousands of lines in hundreds of files."
-
The way most of us devs are spending time on devRant, it seems @dfox might need to introduce a feature named "Reminder" in the app to let devs know that they need to get back to code.1
-
Goes to first job interview. Great interview but, can you send some code?
-Sure-
Sends requested js, css html files.
Great code, we want to speak to you again!
Goes to second interview, waits 15m, meets the sales department. Sales? Wtf?
Great interview but, can you send more code?
Errr?
We need some native JS to really make sure you can write code.
You could've emailed this request before the interview b*tch. That way id save time hurrying in rain and traffic jams!4 -
Here's a conversation I had at work:
Me: "this project that I've inherited, aside from the UI problems it has, it also has severe code problems that need to be fixed"
Project Manager: "I don't care about the code. The code is not my concern. Don't waste time on it and just make the app look good."5 -
I explained my latest project to a non developer friend. I told him I'm almost done with the code, now I just need to debug and get it ready for production.
"Why don't you write code that doesn't have any bugs?"
"Holy shit! I never thought about that! Thank you so much, I'll make sure to write bug free code from now on".10 -
Java's System.out.println because it's too effing long to write!
And in general, all of Java because you need an MB of code just for Hello World.9 -
Manager: "<third-party vr app> isn't working. Think you could fix it by tomorrow?"
Me: "I can't fix it without the source code."
Manager: "Didn't you install it?"
Me: "I did, but I'd need <third-party>'s source code if you want me to make changes and that problem would probably take at least a day to fix."
Manager: "Can't believe you don't have the source code. Aren't you supposed to have your code available?"
(Just....)18 -
In india
Teachers teach students to code, without any field experience
These students learns things tht they dont need in their life and becomes teachers
The cycle continues...
From my genius analysis, we can see that these students need not go to a company to work like a horse,
Why are we in a company working like a horse?13 -
I need 15 minutes to solve this bug.
... 3 hours later: I have no idea why my code doesn't work. :)1 -
*working on a programming assignment for a graduate-level course*
"We will provide you code that implements the protocol in the server. You do not need to touch this code."
*provided file has syntax errors, including a block comment which doesn't close before EOF*1 -
As a developer, I want to write clean code and I want managers that understand the importance of clean code. I don’t want to work with people who force me to deploy untested code because "we need this feature working today".9
-
Employer: "Welcome to your internship. We need you to code VBA"
Me: "Ok."
Me internally: "Oh. Visual Studio. Ok."
Me internally after 1h of coding VBA in Excel Plugin: "Burn in hell MS"2 -
Currently, I am going through a legacy application built in microsoft access back in 90s.
* No Comments
* No Relationships between tables
* Random code that does nothing
* Weird form layouts
* Weird naming conventions
I need to copy this functionality into modern version using SQL Server Management studio and asp.net core, I also need to kill myself because none of this fucking shit fucking fuck makes sense.
I do my best to write clean and concise code along with comments but after this ordeal I am going to up my game because nobody should need to suffer through spaghetti code and stupid logic that is uncommented.
😶6 -
How much legacy code do I need to understand and fix before I add Software Archeologist to my LinkedIn?6
-
It's surprising the times I actually become lazy to code:
It's not when I need to probe the problem to figure out possible solutions, but rather when I know exactly what the solution is, but will require tons of code.5 -
Somewhere in a lonely break room
There's a guy starting to realize that eternal hell has been unleashed unto him.
It's two a.m.
It's two a.m.
The boss has gone
I'm sitting here waitin'
This desktop's slow
I am getting tired of fixin' all my coworkers' problems
Yeah there's a bug on the loose
Errors in the code
This is unreadable
Rubber ducky can't help
I cannot debug, my whole life spins into a frenzy
Help I'm slippin' into the programming zone
Git push to the prod
Set up a repo
My hard drive just crashed
All my code is gone
Where am I to go
Now that I've broke my distro
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
I'm falling down a spiral
Solution unkown
Disgusting legacy, ugly code
Can't get no connection
Can't get through to commit
Well the night weights heavy
On my confused mind
Where's the error on this line
When the CEO comes
He knows damn well
To keep his distance
And he says
Help I'm slippin' into the programming zone
Git push to the prod
Set up a repo
My hard drive just crashed
All my code is gone
Where am I to go
Now that I've broke my distro
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow4 -
"The aim is to develop highly robust data streams so we have the flexibility to build and evolve the user interface without having to change code in the API"
Oh, is that all you need?
4 -
Me: Right, time to sit down and write some code.
Also me: I think I need to try a new IDE to see if that makes me more productive.
Productivity tools are my own productivity anti-pattern...!3 -
I need to stop sacrificing readability for smaller amounts of code. What looks good to me isn’t always best for everyone and that’s a fucking tough pill to swallow.4
-
PM approves all UI and project gets assigned to me. He then makes tons of UI changes that will affect the workflow of the approved UI. To this point, code was clean and well documented. I request a few days to re arrange the code to reflect the new workflow. PM says: I need a minimal product. I don't need it clean. I want speed to ship and start marketing. That's where I stopped caring.. To the next dev, I am terribly sorry..2
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Was told I need to code so it will be ie8 compatible. I guess there going to want me to get out my feather and ink and saddle up the horse to deliver info as well.3
-
JIT Learning. Just in time Learning. You Don't need read a book from cover to cover. YAGNI. Many technical books talk about topics that you might never need in your career. Focus on what you need to know after making a plan for what you want to achieve.
YAGNI applies to coding as well. Don't create a class or a method just because you Might need it later. Create them only when necessary. This keeps your code cleaner and there is less to test.4 -
"In programming mutable state is evil. In future programming we need to avoid mutable state because we will throw cores at our code which will work on it in parallel."
debate.init();21 -
Go to business school to get a Finance degree... Since you already know how to code, why do you need study CS? Finance is hot now, make $$$$$$4
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I think its only reasonable that if I must show u my code during i terview process, I get to see some of the code that I'll get to work with if I'm hired.
Starting to think employers just straight up lie up everything..
Why do i need to find out about your shit code on the first day?!
Cutting edge tech my ass...6 -
Email from a client today: The programmers just need to add an "if/then" code that IF ... BUT NOT ... THEN ... ONLY ... AND ...
God help us if they discover while5 -
Do you ever wonder if you got promoted to senior developer too early? I keep making stupid mistakes that get picked up by more junior developers at code review I need to up my game11
-
So I wrote code to show the FUNCTIONALITY of my module , which has temporary variables and temporary code.
Boss after verifying : so it's done right ?
Me: no the code needs to be written .
Boss : but it's working...
Me : yeah , but this is a test environment , I need to put everything in place and test .
Boss : so it'll be done in 15 minutes right ?
Me : ...
Boss: ... -
Facebook: Ok, so we have this really cool idea for native Android and iOS app with React
Devs: Nice!
Facebook: Its gonna take away the need to work with native code!
Devs: Great!
*Reality comes in*
Reality: To make anything work you need to modify native code and use more hacks than there are useless npm packages18 -
Every time when I double click a .cs file and Visual Studio begins to load.... Noooo! Stop. I just want to look at the code for 5 seconds. I don‘t need VS for that! Damn!5
-
You know u have no life when you get a call, you're all excited about who's it going to be...
"oooh an unknown number!"
*picks up*
"who's this?"
... *automated voice* "This is apple calling you for your apple verification code... your code is..."
And u realize u have ur computer on which u need to enter your code because u tried to login 2 minutes ago...2 -
I need a room to scream. Fuckin fuck every asshole cunt who sees shit code and decides its ok to write more shit code rather than fix it, absolute fuckin cunts10
-
Some people refactor because feature updates need to be optimized throughout the code base.
I refactor because I am terrible at planning.3 -
So.
After spending almost the whole day to get a project to usable state (VM/git setup etc.) I think that I´m finally getting done, and then it hits me.
I STILL NEED TO CHANGE MY IDE´S THEME TO DARK. PREFERABLY AS DARK AS MY SOUL TORMENTED BY THIS VERY PROJECT.
And I also need to copy my code templates from another project.1 -
have you ever felt having bad code ocd that you feel like you really need to clean this old project that you got assigned to fix, but cleaning the whole project up would take too much time and it is just not worth it . But you feel like you really need to do it...3
-
Leaving work with no bugs in the code! Everything works flawlessly!
Coming back the next day and all of a sudden nothing works and we need to spend the whole day getting it to work as well as it did yesterday.
There seems to be programming gnomes, ruining our code at nights!3 -
Superpower to instantly create variable names every time I need to declare a new variable based on the perfect matching with the code being written..
-
I need to do codereviews at work...
Everytime i get c# code im just happy, it's beautiful to look at, easy to follow, new language features every couple of months or so...
And then I get Java/Android Code.... 😩☠🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️.
(I mainly code in C++)3 -
Siemens Step7 code block protection (PLC's).. It was designed to lock code that you don't want others to be able to read. All blocks are in a dbf file, so you just need to find the block record and uncomment one line, voila - source code available.
Given the massive use of Siemens PLC's on plants all over the world, and the simplicity of hacking via S7 protocol, usually Internet connected, it's a breeze to steal or modify the controllers code with possible critical implications.
Enter Stuxnet.1 -
Why do some Devs feel the need to over complicate code to make themselves seem smarter?
No, we don't need a wrapper for a <p> tag that builds a normal <p> tag with a message your provide.
Use a normal tag! /facepalm4 -
“Someone is eventually going to build a JavaScript compiler that output machine code, which will lead to an apocalypse and the death of everything you know and love when all JS code mysteriously stops working in the year 2048.
You need to stop that person from being born. I'm forwarding the details now.
Good luck,
-- Future you”3 -
Got stucked in a problem with recursion in php, almost 2 days no sign of progress until i told my co worker how my code works, then i found the error and it work. I think developers need to talk about the code to realize whats wrong with the code.9
-
NO, YOU ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING GREMLIN OF A JS HTTP CLIENT, I DON'T WANT YOU TO "JsOn.StRiNgiFy" MY PAYLOAD OR DOING ANY WEIRD SHIT
I NEED TO SEND THIS THING EXACTLY AS IT'S WRITTEN, STOP TRYING TO GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO I'M A DEV WITH SOME 7 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE WRITING CODE, I'M SENDING A STRING CUZ I NEED TO SEND A STRING2 -
If you comment your code like this, I'd like you to rethink your life choices.
This is a project we need to work on in university. The code was given to us.
4 -
ask about his game code logic he will rage, ask about how his front end code doing he will rage, talk to him about my server so that his front end code can follow he will rage.. and the end of final project which I merge my code and his code (I need to refactor nearly everything) he said you are very hard communicate. _. fml2
-
Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!
3 -
Write a piece of code that works just fine and it's fairly extensible in 20 minutes.
Then proceed to spend the rest of your night rethinking and replacing said piece of code numerous times, with slightly more elegant code.
7 hours later and I'm still not done. Although a fine way to improve your skills, I seriously need to stop doing that for every single thing I write and start managing my time better. Got lots of other stuff I need to be working on...
Surely I can't be the only one doing this4 -
I started the weekend saying i wanna code some personal projects. Its sunday and u know what, fuck no. Sure we love to code but we are still human gonna go sit in a jakuzi and swim a little tonight. We need to relax every now and then. So if ur feeling theres a lot of shit u need to do... take a break. Seriously everyone needs it2
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So I'm tasked with rewriting the old software my employer uses to track basically anything in his company. They want to stick quite close to the old workflow as much as possible, I get that.
"Why exactly do you need access to the system? No you don't need to look at it just recreate the flow. I'll give you the sql structure is that OK? Oh and this won't take long, you can copy from the old code can't you? Wait why do you need access to the code? No. "
🙄7 -
Such variable names
much helpful
very wow!
Either I need to download sdk source code for var names to show up correctly or I need to memorize which is for what :\
9 -
Something that really bothers me about the oop idea of "oop allows better code reuse" is the fact that I have yet to encounter a situation where I need to reuse old code for a new project.
And the code I do want to reuse I've put into a library and made genetic anyway. Something which can easily be done with any language supporting generic programming, object oriented or otherwise.6 -
Any tips on how to properly document my code? I'm going to start my first internship soon so I need to learn it.12
-
A client asked me to include a GA tracking code into her website,
I said yea I'll add it for you, just send me the code snippet please :)
she sent me the URL to google analytics login page....
I told her that I need the code snippet not the URL.
She replied: yah that's what I sent.
Me:...2 -
I just found a 980 line long method in one of our legacy code bases.... And I need to add to it. There are no unit tests and I desperately want to refactor that shit....4
-
I kinda hate how even if people submit good and useful code to OSS repositories, you need to act like a salesperson if you want anyone to notice/care about it
-
Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.3 -
I was wondering why every time my my code is accessing the !valid() part to later realize I was coming back to it = its state is reset = I need a break T_T
P.S. if you find anything in my code make sure to let me know :)
9 -
me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy
me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more* -
we had a front-end dev that needs to "re-architecure" his codes when we need to add a small change or a feature.
and im like: wtf is wrong with your code and you need to re-architect it every damn time?!
PS: that dev is no longer with us now. thank god.1 -
Name The Song.
One a side note, what do you listen to while coding? Do you need absolute silence to code?
23 -
CTO s shouldn't write software once there are more than 50 devs in the company. They shouldn't make tech decisions. It is time for you to back off and help with more important things. We really need you to get process nailed down. We really need you to help us understand business better. Not writing code.1
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The frustration that comes to each developer when he tries to write the code structured by thinking through each situations, and your team lead comes and tells you why r you doing so much validations just hard code them we need to release it today client is waiting. After 3-4 months the same team lead goes through the code and shouts at you telling why the he'll you hard coded all these, can't you write the code correctly by thinking through.
3 -
Got to talking with someone in our company about AI generated code. I said we still have to audit the code, understand how it works, and ensure there isn't any nefarious libraries or code in what is produced. Like what we "should" be doing when we find libraries on the web. I explained how people will purposely create libraries that are spoofs of other libraries, but have malicious code embedded in them. It doesn't take much to imagine someone using a sketchy AI to push this kinda code.
How do you reasonably fight this if we start increasingly relying on generated code by AI? So I suggested we need an AI to review AI generated code. Then we need an AI to review the AI that reviews the AI generated code. Then...3 -
That moment when you simply can't find a solution to a specific dev problem and you urgently need to finish your code..... I know the feeling.
1 -
So many new developers I know complain about not having the latest gadgets to learn to code. What I loved about learning to code was all you really need is something like Notepad and a few ideas, it's amazing how far you can go!6
-
I don't like that my team and my company uses Skype as the messaging tool for teams. There are no code highlighting when I need to share code snippet to devs!13
-
I am thinking to start freelancing with PHP. I need more money besides my actual job and I just love to code.
It will be my first time developing profissionaly.
Any tips?11 -
Me: ill use media queries to make our site responsive (site is not responsive before i got here)
Me: code ...
Me: code ...
Me: done, created a PR
Senior: review... removes all the code and media queries and said. We dont have to use media queries because bootstrap is already responsive.
- BULLSHIT! We still need media queries!!!!!27 -
When you point out a mistake in your fellow student's code comment and he says: "What doesn't compile, doesn't need to be corrected" -.-1
-
You know you need to stop debugging and sleep when you start rearranging your comments in the hope that your code will work!
-
Right now I need to fix 10 years old php code handling data sets coming from a database. Normally I work mostly on C#.
God, do I miss LINQ!8 -
I have the habit of adding //todo comments to my code whenever I need to implement something later. Very useful to just search your code for "todo" and see what is left to do.
That is all very well, but I just searched my project for "todo" and there are SO MANY //todo comments in the third party dependencies...4 -
Every month I re-evaluate the code I had written previously to compare my progress in coding standards...
Turns out I need a time machine to go back in time and slap myself1 -
Gmail filtering sucks but i just realized something.... i have an app for this... i just need to copy an existing project and change the code!
5 -
How I always feel about Xcode when compiling Swift code, opening storyboard files, or just in general.
We need to make some of these stickers. ++
-
Anyone else starting to perceive real life and communicating with people using logical gate thinking?
I think I need vacation because communicating with non tech/code savy people requires an effort..1 -
I'm a young dev with ADD. Basically I just need to stay up late, and then get myself to hyperfocus on my code. It typically gets done in time to get a decent night's sleep.1
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Finally, I got my laptop back after 4 gruelling days of separation with a new disc and more RAM!!!
I can't wait to finish up installing all the programmes I need to start writing code!!!7 -
I hope one day i will stop writing dirty code to achieve a task, forget to refactor it and then struggle to use correct names for variables and methods when i need to move on other tasks.
-
Work rant :
I once had a code review and remembered I forgot to comment my code and said sorry I forgot to comment it out.
The reply I got?
Don't worry, here we say your code should be readable enough and no comments are required.
Im still amazed, like... Even if the code is readable, fuck this I need a tl;Dr comment for the long ass fucking code... What the fuck5 -
The guy who wrote a ton of legacy code at my company apparently had no idea that you need to close a file stream. And also that IO may throw exceptions.
Wooo1 -
I need to build multithreading in my brain, i want to learn at least 8 new code languages and techniques at the same time(not to mention normal languages)2
-
They say I have to learn poems to make my memory fresh.
I don't need that! I write code without comments2 -
No need for sleep or food, fluent knowledge of all languages, no code errors, and ability to socialize with other humans.
-
Developer dilemma:
1) Tell people that they don't need code to get their startup idea off the ground
2) Make up an excuse to code something useless -
Need to work on a web application from 2002... the code is a mess. Whats the oldest code you worked on?
5 -
Hey guys, need an opinion.
Please have a look at the picture and let me know if it's a good practice to code like that. The code still works and I still get the output.
8 -
You don't need a mechanical keyboard to code for long hours but shit sure does become smooth af with a cherry MX red.2
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I think I need to go to a bootcamp, so I can go through everything I need to learn: how to pair program, how to explain your code to someone else, how to prepare for a technical interview, etc.11
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Fuck off OneDriveSetup.exe, nobody asked you to install anything. This "i7" is only dual-core, and I need both of them to run my code, kthx.
-
From the book
Refactoring JavaScript
Turning Bad Code into Good Code
Evan Burchard
HOW CONVERSATIONS ABOUT REFACTORING SHOULD GO UNTIL TESTS ARE WRITTEN
“I refactored login to take email address and username.” “No, you didn’t.”
“I’m refactoring the code to ____”
“No, you aren’t.”
“Before we can add tests, we need to refactor.” “No.”
“Refactoring th–”
“No.”
“Refa–” “No.”7 -
Automatically clean up code, removing redundant and duplicate bits, splitting large functions, and formatting it nicely. Especially useful when trying to understand some garbage code someone else wrote which you need to rewrite.2
-
I havent touched swing in months, and now when i need to come back to it everything is Windowbuilder. Trouble is, nothing is included in Eclipse and I don't have time to go around hunting for the packages I need. Netbeans is marginally better, but GODDAMN its frustrating when it auto-gens code that you have to use N++ to edit...2
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F++ you! You never here when I need you. You force me to sleep when I want to code. You force me to code when I want beer. I hate you, time!1
-
Spot what's wrong with this command!
It took me 10 minutes scratching head to find it out. This is why we still need to use our brain when copy paste-ing code.
😕
11 -
Gonna get some shut eye so I can do an all nighter, but not for code, need to watch the election results. (UK).8
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A simple object mapper for CosmosDB SQL API
Cosmonaut is an object mapper that enables .NET developers to work with a CosmosDB using .NET objects. It eliminates the need for most of the data-access code that developers usually need to write.3 -
I got handed over a project that has hundreds of lines of commented codes, some dating back to 2013. I am then told not to delete those as we "might need them". WHAT DO YOU NEED A 4 YEAR OLD COMMENTED CODE FOR???1
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A lot, I'm very lucky with projects that need a team, always have to code the 80% of the project by myself
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Code is a highly detailed description of what a computer should do. If that description becomes inaccurate we will remove inaccurate parts. Take pride in writing good code, recognize that it was useful for a while, but don’t get attached to it. It will stay in the git history.
If you see code as your baby, know that the team might need to kill your baby.1 -
When you need to write the code for the exam on paper and your teacher wants you to use a class named CountLoggedinUsersBean
😐😐😐😐😐😐1 -
Looks familiar?
I really need to start giving more descriptive names when I test code..
Var that=
Vat thatt=
Var thattt=
....
Func workFFS=4 -
Need to do some PHP for my class next week, problem is I hate PHP so I just distracted myself and wrote a bunch of Ruby code today...4
-
is "drunk coding" really a thing? i can't imagine how.
i prefer working code, so when i'm writing code, i need my brain to be working. the "benefits" of alcohol, like reducing social inhibitions, don't benefit source code.8 -
FUUCCK! These two lines of code just cost me 6 hours of debugging... At least I learned I need to fix my Deserialization code too.
servicePassword: this.APIUsername,
serviceUser: this.APIPassword -
Me 🤗"Since you know the domain far better than me, can I ask you to help me understand if I managed to cover all the edge cases with these UNIT TESTS?
😒" no no no, you don't need to check for those cases, you already do that in your code"
🤗 "I'm sorry, I must have explained myself badly. I have written these UNIT TESTS exactly to ... TEST if those CHECKS in my code work and what I need is you to tell me if there are additional cases ..."
😫"but you don't need to!!! You already have that logic in your code"
😐😵☠ 🦍💊🔫🔪"you know what? I'm gonna give them a second look. Thanks"
And then I moonwalked out of the room -
I read the source code of a guy who decided to name his variables, functions, and comments in Spanish which is not a language I'm familiar with. So I need to first translate the code into English and then understand what it does.1
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"My code is explain itself. Well, I need no comments to understand it."
I don't care if you wan't to write comments or not; If don't write any then i don't care because fuck you and your code.
May it be java, kotlin, python, javascript or anyother language, you think "everyone can read", i hope you'll never find anyone who has to deal with you and your cancerous code.7 -
Another student pushed code to Github. Asked why there wasn't a single comment. He said there was no need since he used good names for his variables... *sigh*
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Just married, sold my expensive laptop to pay some debts, and waiting for a very cheap refurbished laptop that I just bought. Can't wait longer!! Need to code something in React!3
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Is there a name for the phenomenon whereby you iteratively modify code to try to fix a bug, with no apparent result, and then realize it's an entirely different part of the code causing the issue, but the parts you were modifying actually did need modifying too?2
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When your code misbehaves in production and you need all the ducks in the world to fix the problem😂😓
(Marshmallow doing some serious debugging!)
1 -
for my job I need to know,
Programming, C#, Optimization, Multithreading and Async code, Working certain tools, Reading difficult written code, Understanding, Physics, Networking, Rendering, Codeloops, Memory management, Profiling tools, Being able to make Jira tickets and read Jira tickets. Understanding source control branching, merging, push and pull. bug fixing.
And I write almost 1 line of code a week on average..
I'm a programmer.2 -
!Rant
Help/ideas needed
I need ideas of projects to develop in my free time, I'm tired of the old technology and ugly projects from work, I want to develop something new, fun, to feel the excitement of coding again ;)
The field does not matter i'm willing to learn.
And , no , I can get another job, that is not an option because of the special benefits it's offering that I can not find in another company(very flexible schedule, I'm a student and need it).5 -
If I have to train one more person, or answer the same question for the 100 times I'm gonna loose it. I just want...need to code
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Do you reckon learning the patience you need to write/debug code actually trains you to deal with all the other crap you have to put up with being a developer?1
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"I'll go to bed on the hour."
1 minute past the hour:
"Dang, I'll need to wait until the next hour and get more code written." -
Be patient seem to be basic, but after many hors of unsucessfull code i'ts a challenge.
So take a break if your need one. -
It sucks that you need to transition to other roles.
Started as front-end dev, now I have to write PL/SQL code. Which I don't like and not confident as NodeJS, Vue, React, Angular4, Java, etc. -
I really don't like the anxiety when Xcode crashes, I need to force quit it and really really hope that my code is saved...
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Hello friends 😊
I just need to get this of my chest
But at my school we currently have this project where we need to create a webapp eventually which is nice. BUT first we NEED to spend a whole semester documenting stuff! I mean some things are necessary I know that! But a whole semester ffs I'm studying to be programmer so I WANT TO CODE STUFF
Why is my school like this 😩16 -
installing macos was a mistake. breaking all the builds and now I need to reinstall all the tools which will force me to update the code .2
-
An app that gives you just the code segments you need for doing certain programmatic tasks, given keywords, or a simple sentence of what you're trying to do.
1 -
How to know that you need a rest?
You see a code:
```
public function scopeEnabled($q)
{
$q->where('disabled', false);
}
```
And assume that you have a serious bug...1 -
1. Working with GitHub for a school project (teachers need to check my code there)
2. Getting flagged by GitHub spam-bot for no actual reason
3. Cry -
Need to refactor the code base, and when looked at it, we don't have single UnitTest.... F*** them all1
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There are tools i use more often, but a place in my heart is reserved for ILSpy.
It shows IL code as c# code and it helped me so much at understanding how components work.
Best moment was when a support guy from a company told me stuff that wasn't correct according to the code...
...no need to tell him. Hope it stays unencrypted :-D -
I’d like so advice, sometimes I need to code for pretty much 2-3 days straight
I try to power nap on occasion as I know being tired can have a bit of an effect.
I need to stay alert so I was wondering what tips and tricks people may have to help
As I need to stay away from caffeine now 😒 -
Considering paying my boss to drop a client, because a function only they need can't really be implemented more brilliantly than a huge if/else, doubling the size of the source code.
-
Always comment your code.
Write comments that explain the reason for this piece of code existing, and why it's written the way it is.
Don't write comments that explain what your code does (unless it's a comment which is going to be parsed as documentation for an API). If your code needs comments to explain what it's doing, you need to write clearer code. -
I thought my code was bad and that was why it was taking twice as long as any other group to run
No it’s just Illinois the state my group was assigned has almost 2000 more data rows to scrape compared to any other group. My code wasn’t running slow. It just had longer to run
I’ve spent 4 days trying to fucking refactor and improve my code Ignoring clean code and attempting clever code to run faster and now I need to revert back to clean code since no one else in my group would be able to understand or work on the damn file if I left it at clever
Fucking hell 😫1 -
Feels good to be able to clean up code! Just changed an ugly 5-line while loop into a clean 2-line do-while. Now I just need the rest of my program to work 😂
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It would be pretty awesome to create software directly with my mind. Just imagine the specs and *poof* there it is, without the need of actually typing the code down.
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learning to code while working as not a dev. Gives freedom but zero experience. Need experience but lack confidence :(6
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Why would you post your code on GitHub and charge to use it. I'm not using your servers your not providing me any service I need but you still expect me to pay for open source code you posted yourself. What is going through your mind. To come up with that business plan7
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My advice: simply code and work out things on the fly.
You will maybe need to rewrite something, but thats ok. The more you do on the fly, the better!5 -
I kinda want to expand my repertoire with some web development skills. I already know some front end .net. What do you suggest I start with? I heard someone say react+PHP is a good combo3
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Code::Blocks, because why make it look nice, bother having any auto-complete functions, actually ensuring all of the built in C++ functions work and not having the need to sometimes have to be closed down and restarted to build and run the code 😤1
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So when i was playing saxophone, I realized that music and coding are just the same. When you get a new score to play you need to start over by learning how to play it. When you code and start a new project you need to start from zero. When you play the score over and over you learn from your mistakes. When you code you debug your faults when there is something wrong in your code. At the exam you need to make no faults when you play music. When you’re at the deadline. There shouldn't be no faults in your code
-
So I started learning Java and there are lots of boilerplate code. To use some Date functions there is a requirement to import it first before you can use it lol. In PHP and JS no need to import anything so less code.20
-
Noob question
Is it better to implement a cryptpgraphic algo in a function or in a class? Also how?
More info:
I have a cryptography class and I really enjoy implementing the different techniques that we study in class. At first I was just implementing the techniques in a simple function with 3 parameters; key, message and a bool for encryption or decryption. But as they are getting more complex, it is becoming harder to continue implementing them in a single function block. So I thought of using a class but ran into the problem of how do I even do that? Do I make different methods for key generation, encrypting and decrypting?
P.S. It's really just for learning how the crypto technique works and not for anything serious.12 -
The moment when the whole freacking office is bright like the sun and you need to switch to the light version rather than dark to be able to code without killing your eyes...
Feeling like a noob again :( -
Now that I've got most everything in my personal project working, I realize I need to rewrite everything... My code and infrastructure is absolutely horrible 😅3
-
So all my code is Lambda serverless funcs, hurray!
But I still need NAT gateway / VPC endpoints that cost $50pm to reach S3 from private VPC so what's the fucking point?!1 -
I really need to appreciate IE in so many ways. It let us to install other browsers, test crap JavaScript code and finally recommending customers to use IE to support their app.
-
I want to do one project in which using arduino uno and RFID reader to take attendance but for this I have to need 100 reader card which is costly. So I thought using bar code so I can print barcode on paper and no need any card. So does anyone idea where I can get bar code module for arduino uno.4
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I need help,
I'm on that task for a month and it's a shitty task where I need to write algorithms too complicated for my level and I'm totally demotivated right now... I can't even understand my own code and can't focus for more than 5min... I just wanna go home and never see that code and work on that anymore...
Has this situation ever happened to you ? What should I do ?6 -
If you feel that you need to make systems to enforce code standards... The team actually needs to learn to self-enforce your code standards. If an automated tool is determining standards it will be tricked into allowing clean-looking code with poor design choices into your project.
This chaps my ass.3 -
sometimes need to learn about how people thinking much more than computer do. like visualitaion your "magic" code with some people want.
-
Is it too optimistic for me to think like this?
Lecturer: Your assignment is to write a netprobe with C++. Using thread pool for multiple request... It is really easy with around 300 lines of code.
Me: There is one week before the deadline. On average I just need to write around 40lines of code per day!1 -
Documentation-driven development, we need to start treating documentation on the level we treat code. Thoughts?2
-
If I want to develop a fuzzer for an open source software, do I need to code it in the same language as the open source software is written?
-
Me 3 weeks ago: I need the changes to make so I can add them to the code.
Hours before the change is scheduled, I receive a list of 100 changes to make.1 -
Together with colleagues from University of Zurich I am conducting a survey about skills for code review! With this survey, we aim to investigate skills that reviewers need to perform an efficient code review. Our main goal is to improve developers' code review practices. Therefore, we are looking for developers with experience as code reviewers. This questionnaire takes 15-20 minutes and consists of 21 questions.
https://uzh.ch/zi/cl/...
Thank you for your help!4 -
I keep telling myself "I can do this, I can change this", but then I'm forced to write untested undesigned spaghetti code cause we need another hotfix for 3 hours from now...
-
What features of visual studio are so great? I keep hearing about VS Code, and I'm finally going to try it for my next project. What features do I need to be amazed by and converted?10
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The code doesn't work? No need to worry! If everything works, you may find yourself unemployed. 👩🏼💻
webemoji.org1 -
While I read your posts I realize that I need to improve my workplace at home. About the question: For me the best place to code is my home because I live alone2
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Is it normal that I have to first study like 2 or 3 days before I can start to code something I don't know very well? My mentor probably thinks I don't know anything. Whatever... I need to implement JWT and I need time to study because I find it complex.2
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I don’t like commented code in a project, I always remove commented code whenever I see. But sometimes these removed commented codes need again to add by uncommenting.
I can get the code by seeing the git history but if only I can remember I removed that portion of code. So is there is any best approach to manage commented code, which may require in real future?3 -
Sometimes i need longer on the simple code than on the challanging code, because it's harder to distract me while i'm solving a problem
-
Done and with that JS2PS convertor now need to Run that code. God Brace us.....
But first need to create types for each function and services.
FML need to complete it by this weekend1 -
Someone help me get a damn job so I can continue trashing millenial technological abortions and return to making code.. or something LOL
I'm finished mean mugging hulio and need to get on with life !23 -
I need to implement a Java HTTP proxy with a login that basically sits in front of free Kibana.
Any ideas how to build it or existing libs, code I can use?7 -
Lead: I don’t think we need to make the changes you suggested at this time, the code looks good to me.
Me: Sure
Lead: However, I want you to submit my code and address all further comments -
need to deviler a custom made website on a custom cms tomorrow, can't bring myself up to code... Any of you get these coding blocks? how do you guys overcome it?1
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We need a running theme for topics that treat "the code" as if it is a living thing. Like we never stop to think about what The Code thinks about all this.1
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Unable to give detailed explanation of how my code works. Like why do I need to explain as long it works 😏4
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Spent half a day working on some code to add some functionality. Ran into some binary assumptions and found workarounds. Got everything implemented and close to start testing things. Not a lot of code, but a lot of places that needed careful attention to detail. Started looking at the final code needed for initializing things. Found that all the code I wrote would not be needed if I just initialize some things differently. Realized I don't need all this code. The code is literally redundant.
git checkout <changed files>
Okay, now I understand the code better. I am ahead because I am not maintaining code I don't need. Half a day of reading the code helps me understand everything that is there.
Life is good. 😀 -
It suuucks having to code split-screen on a 15" 1920x1080 laptop on a small desk that's only 2 feet wide. That's my home setup..
Code-cramp, I say. Time to upgrade sometime.. I need a new desk, for instance..2 -
Do you guys recommend the CODE keyboard from WASD? I would like to buy one, but before I need some opinions. Is it worth that much money?7
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ES6 is like a new different language ... Although it seems cool, but I always find ES6 converts the readable code into puzzles you need to solve!7
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Automatically code all the nice stuff I'm dreaming to implement whilst sleeping. Or just remember what I dreamt of. Maybe I need more sleep 😬
-
`Holy shit never turn on caught exception breakpoints in vs code for node !
and the one place i need the damn code to break, it doesn't break !1 -
For an app, to be available in IOS and Android, i need to code it in both languages (Swift and Java)? or there is another way to do it?7
-
To put online a self-sufficient SaaS which I don't need to debug, fix or update myself, as I'll have some code monkeys do the work for me.
-
Am i the only person who hates reactjs so much?
Jsx , so much nesting, unreadable code. U need to create lots of components and reinvent the wheel everytime u need to add a litle tiny feature. No global logic (controller)
Raaaaah what a mess...4 -
Has anyone here had a need to use Unmanaged Code, ie C++ interop for the sake of performance on a practical level? (ie, not just coz it's fun)
Im excluding driver or OS level code.
Only Server Side OR User side programs
Coz wouldnt the overhead of talking to unmanaged code overwrite any CPU-time benefits?2 -
So fucking today i wanted to test netbeans ide..installed, no problem..then i wanted to compile code an it said fucking error ,netbean connector and google chrome? Wtf do i need this shit ?!4
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#development #stages of #vision #impaired 😂
Do you sometimes feel like you need to put those lenses in cuz you can't see the damn code only to later remove them because you start feeling as if it weren't you staring at the code but the code staring at you.
And by making it a bit harder to see, you somehow find it easier to focus.6 -
A colleague just posted code online for students for a practical with lots of bugs in it. Tomorrow the student will need to use this code to do analysis.2
-
Radeon graphics driver crashed again.
I hope one day they will actually fix it but the light of my hope grows dimmer every day.
Hire some talent?
Rewrite their code in Rust?
Do some static code analysis?
Better modularity?
Some code reviews? Proofreading?
I am at a loss of words. The crashes need to stop.8 -
Depends on what style means...
How I format the code: language, team/style-check rules, IDE auto format settings
How I structure my code and design programs: experience... Mainly from blowing stuff up, having to rewrite monolith code, trying to understand other people's shitty code and why they can't seem to organize it better so you don't need to be a surgeon or God to even attempt to figure out wtf it's doing and how it works... Or supposed to work. -
I am looking to develop an app to take advantage of the bluetooth technology in fitness bracelets. I have a few ideas but no starting point. I can code though 😅 but I'd like to know what concepts I need to know, what open source fitness app code I could look at or anything I need to be aware of before I begin my ambitious (life changing) project. I plan on using an oraimo tempo C smart bracelet for my project. Any advice, comments and discouragement will be highly appreciated 😊
-
Today (Thursday) I have an interview and exam today, but won't be able to attend because somebody broke the production code and we need to fix THOSE Bugs ASAP.
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I need recommendation for site/community to improve my (clean) code style?
And, in more general, what are your ways to improve code style and programming way of thinking - more oriented towards bigger picture of application/systems (patterns, architecture, etc.)?3 -
What do you think about coffee? is it just a psychology need? or it really boosts you to code? question for those who drink coffee10
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I have recently learned to use data binding with recyclerView in android. I need to make some network calls on the click of a button at the recyclerView, and based on response I need to update my UI. All my code for the view is in my ViewHolder. Bt all the code for my network calls are in repository which is accessed by my viewModel. how can I make the network calls from the viewHolder?2
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Need help for a task
I need to do a code in JavaScript that decrements a user value, say 0.2>0.1>0.09>0.08 etc etc.
How do I decrement 0.1 to 0.09?
Thanks.10 -
What are some good coding buddies? I'm thinking of toys, not people. Suggestions? I need someone to talk my code through with who won't argue with me even if my code is wrong 🙃1
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Apparently i need to to "import" the devrant swag. Just today a post arrived in the mail which says i need to fill up a kyc form and need an importer exporter code for a shipment that is stuck in customs. Wtf man!. I tracked the package and it is from usa. The only thing that could arrive from usa is devrant swag. And now i need to go through filling so many forms so that i can slap some stickers on my laptop. My life is not easy.
3 -
Arrgh...
I need to do a lot of refactoring and testing (%80 percent of which is integration) and ITS SO TEDIOUS!!!
Now, for anyone who says "oh, you write spaghetti code, your code shouldn't be so tedious to refactor". No. It's only tedious because it's a few thousand lines that I've been too lazy to refactor till now, and I need to go through it all.
Anybody have any advice for refactoring or testing in Go?17 -
is there an easy way to start angular 2.0 project because I see I need to get ton of setup for each project b4 I can even touch the code (noob here)4
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Why devrant should have an inbuilt code editor
1. it can be easier to read than just reading code someone wrote in their rant
2. it would be way easier and indented plus added syntax highlighting should be good
please add a code editor to dev rant it would erase having the need to decipher everything in a chat xD15 -
#hindirant
Code aisa likho ki dusre ko hilana na pade
Translation :
Write code in such a way that other coder need not to change their code
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