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Search - "tie"
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*Client calles me at 7Am*
Client: why did you make everything smaller on my website ?
Me: look at the right side of your URL bar, do you see a minus sign ?
Client: yah, so ?
Me: click on it and set it back to default.
Client: oh ok this is working for me now, will this fix apply globally across the internet
Me: ...
Client: oh I think I asked a stupid question, thanks mate have a good day.
Me: you're welcome...17 -
Its Friday, you all know what that means! ... Its results day for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!
*audience: wwwwwwooooooooo!!!!*
We've had a bewildering array of candidates, lets remind ourselves:
- a psychopath that genuinely scared me a little
- a CEO I would take pleasure seeing in pain
- a pothead who mistook me for his drug dealer
- an unbelievable idiot
- an arrogant idiot obsessed with strings
Tough competition, but there can be only one ... *drum roll* ... the winner is ... none of them!
*audience: GASP!*
*audience member: what?*
*audience member: no way!*
*audience member: your fucking kidding me!*
Sir calm down! this is a day time show, no need for that ... let me explain, there is a winner ... but we've kept him till last and for a good reason
*audience: ooooohhhhh*
You see our final contestant and ultimate winner of this series is our good old friend "C", taking the letters of each of our previous contestants, that spells TRAGIC which is the only word to explain C.
*audience: laughs*
Oh I assure you its no laughing matter. C was with us for 6 whole months ... 6 excruciatingly painful months.
Backstory:
We needed someone with frontend, backend and experience with IoT devices, or raspberry PI's. We didn't think we'd get it all, but in walked an interviewee with web development experience, a tiny bit of Angular and his masters project was building a robot device that would change LED's depending on your facial expressions. PERFECT!!!
... oh to have a time machine
Working with C:
- He never actually did the tutorials I first set him on for Node.js and Angular 2+ because they were "too boring". I didn't find this out until some time later.
- The first project I had him work on was a small dashboard and backend, but he decided to use Angular 1 and a different database than what we were using because "for me, these are easier".
- He called that project done without testing / deploying it in the cloud, despite that being part of the ticket, because he didn't know how. Rather than tell or ask anyone ... he just didn't do it and moved on.
- As part of his first tech review I had to explain to him why he should be using if / else, rather than just if's.
- Despite his past experience building server applications and dashboards (4 years!), he never heard of a websocket, and it took a considerable amount of time to explain.
- When he used a node module to open a server socket, he sat staring at me like a deer caught in headlights completely unaware of how to use / test it was working. I again had to explain it and ultimately test it for him with a command line client.
- He didn't understand the need to leave logging inside an application to report errors. Because he used to ... I shit you not ... drive to his customers, plug into their server and debug their application using a debugger.
... props for using a debugger, but fuck me.
- Once, after an entire 2 days of tapping me on the shoulder every 15 mins for questions / issues, I had to stop and ask:
Me: "Have you googled it?"
C: "... eh, no"
Me: "can I ask why?"
C: "well, for me, I only google for something I don't know"
Me: "... well do you know what this error message means?"
C: "ah good point, i'll try this time"
... maybe he was A's stoner buddy?
- He burned through our free cloud usage allowance for a month, after 1 day, meaning he couldn't test anything else under his account. He left an application running, broadcasting a lot of data. Turns out the on / off button on the dashboard only worked for "on". He had been killing his terminal locally and didn't know how to "ctrl + c a cloud app" ... so left it running. His intention was to restart the app every time you are done using it ... but forgot.
- His issue with the previous one ... not any of his countless mistakes, not the lack of even trying to make the button work, no, no, not for C. C's issue is the cloud is "shit" for giving us such little allowances. (for the record in a month I had never used more than 5%).
- I had to explain environment variables and why they are necessary for passwords and tokens etc. He didn't know it wasn't ok to commit these into GitHub.
- At his project meetups with partners I had to repeatedly ask him to stop googling gifs and pay attention to the talks.
- He complained that we don't have 3 hour lunch breaks like his last place.
- He once copied and pasted the same function 450 times into a file as a load test ... are loops too mainstream nowadays?
You see C is our winner, because after 6 painful months (companies internal process / requirements) he actually achieved nothing. I really mean that, nothing. Every thing was so broken, so insecure / wide open, built without any kind of common sense or standards I had to delete it all and start again ... it took me 2 weeks.
I hope you've all enjoyed this series and will join me in praying for the return of my sanity ... I do miss it a lot.
Yours truly,
practiseSafeHex20 -
Worst dev I've interviewed?
"Archie" ran his own consulting business for almost 20 years. Prior to his interview, Archie sent HR (to send to us) his company's website, where he had samples of code for us to review (which was not bad, this guy did know his stuff).
What I found odd was Archie was the lone wolf at his company, but everything I found about him (the about page, his bio, etc), Archie was referred to as 'Mr. Archie Brown'.
Ex. 'Mr. Archie Brown began his humble career and 'Mr. Archie Brown is active in his church and volunteers his time in many charities ...'
Odd to refer to yourself in the third person on your own site, but OK, I like putting hot sauce on my mac & cheese (no judgement here).
Then the interview..standard stuff, then..
Me: "Given your experience, this is an entry level developer position. Do you feel the work would be challenging enough for you?"
Archie: "Yes, Mr. Archie Brown would have no problem starting at bottom. You see ..."
Almost any time he would reference himself, instead of 'me' or 'I', he would say 'Mr. Archie Brown'. As the interview continued, the ego and self-importance grew and grew.
My interview partner wanted to be done by using the escape clause, "PaperTrail, I'm good, do you have any questions?"
Yes, yes I do. I was having too much fun listening to this guy ramble on about himself. I made the interview go the full hour with the majority of time 'Archie' telling us how great he is.
The icing on the cake was my partner caught his gold cuff-links and tie-pin where his initials and how he kept raising his hands and playing with his tie to show us (which I totally missed, then was like "oh yea, that was weird")
After the interview, talking with HR:
HR-Jake: "How did it go?"
John: "Terrible. One of the worst. We would have been done in 10 minutes if PaperTrail didn't keep asking questions."
Me: "Are you kidding!? I had the best time ever. I wish I could have stayed longer."
HR-Jake: "Really? This guy was so full of himself I wasn't sure to even schedule with you guys. With his experience, I thought it deserved at least a round with you two. You think we should give him a chance?"
Me: "Hell no. Never in a million years, no. I never in my whole life met anyone with such a big ego. I mean, he kept referring to himself in the third person. Who does that?"
HR-Jake: "Whew!...yea, he did that in the phone interview too. It was a red flag for us as well."
Couple of weeks later I ran into HR-Jake in the break room.
HR-Jake: "Remember Mr. Archie Brown?"
Me: "To my dying day, I will never forget Mr. Archie Brown."
HR-Jake: "I called him later that day to tell him the good news and he accused me of being a racist. If we didn't give him the job, he was getting a lawyer and sue us for discrimination."
Me: "What the frack!"
HR-Jake: "Yep, and guess what? Got a letter from his lawyer today. I don't think a case will come in front of a judge, but if you have any notes from the interview, I'll need them."
Me: "What are we going to do?"
HR-Jake: "Play the waiting game between lawyers. We're pretty sure he'll run out of money before we do."
After about 6 months, and a theft conviction (that story made the local paper), Mr. Archie Brooks dropped his case (or his lawyers did).23 -
I have made this RGB LED tie. One of my friends and me had the idea at 2 am and now it has come to reality :D
It runs on an Arduino nano, 8 rgb leds and is powered by a 9V battery.
I have prom tomorrow ('abschlussball' in german) I probably won't wear it during the official part but definitely at the party after prom.
The current animation is a bit too fast (I was listening to hardstyle while coding it) for the music they will play tomorrow at the party so I still have to make a slower one.
Tell me what you think about it :P28 -
I once worked until 8am to get a demo ready for a client of the client. I knew the client was a bit thick, so I made some comprehensive video demos and sent them over to him, to save him trying to demo it himself. I wake up at 11am with him screaming down the phone at me:
“It doesn’t work, none of it works!”
“What do you mean?”
“I go to login and I can’t enter anything.”
“I haven’t sent you anything to log into...wait, are you trying to log into a video? Tell me you’re not trying to log into a video of a login page.”
“Uh...oh hang on, it just worked. Ok no pr-“
“No wait, what do you mean it worked?”
“I logged in fine.”
“It’s a video. You can’t log into a video.”
“Uh...alright, bye mate, thanks!”
The moral of the story is: never assume any level of intelligence on the part of a client, even if they exhibit signs of it at first. If they are paying you they will forget how to tie their own shoelaces.10 -
I made a Trello board and listed some tasks for me and my team.
My boss comes in, I show him the trello board to show how I organized our tasks.
He liked it, so I asked him if we can use it more frequently.
He replied: this is your code, do whatever you want.
I asked: my code?
He replied: yah didn't just build this webpage? This interactive task manager.
Me in shock: hold on you think I built trello?
Boss: oh ... You didn't ? It looks like something you'd do for your "front end masterbaution".
Me: oh wow, well... If that was the case I would've made $425 million on top of my salary.
Boss: looked at me like meh ~ and walked away...7 -
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:
Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:
Shepherd: “Okay.”
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,
Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”
The shepherd cheers,
Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,
Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”
The young man answers;
Man: “Yes, why not?”
Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."
Man: “How did you know?”
Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"3 -
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."
The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"
The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"3 -
Some do it with coffee, some with tea, some in their house, some in a cafe, but I do it in a shawarma restaurant while eating a shawarma!17
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!dev
Just found out my house's heating system relies on this. A button, being held down by a bolt held by a zip tie. Who in their right mind looked at this, was like "this is fine" and left it there.
My dad, apparently.10 -
Senior Management: We are severely disappointed in the timeliness of the two apps you built this year. You had budgeted 3 months for one and it took 4 months and the other was budgeted to take 4 months and took 5 months. We understand that we doubled the requirements halfway through and but that doesn’t take away from our need for you to deliver on time. We provided you with two extra devs on the project! We know they were novices and you had to train them from the ground up during the project, that doesn’t matter. The extra resources should have helped you but your lack of leadership ability is what caused them to hold you back. We know our other team with a budget of 6 months took 2 years on their project and was still unsuccessful but that is a different scenario! That was a pre-built 3rd party ERP plugin, way more complicated and nuanced than simply building and deploying something from scratch. Yes we’re aware your projects were the only successful tech projects at the company this year, that’s just luck and coincidence. The next app we need you to build in 6 months, no questions asked. It needs to consolidate and tie together our 3 different ERPs. Everything that we need out of these products that they don’t do out of the box we need you to wire up. We will decide the exact requirements in a month or so, for now just get started. Yes your apps changed the way we do business and allowed us to complete projects smoother than ever before while saving millions of dollars in wasteful and archaic processes that is OLD NEWS. Stop bringing it up. The successes of yesterday are the status quo of today. Don’t expect any new resources either, you clearly can’t handle them. You will now be giving status updates to 3 different managers as a corrective action to your missed deadlines in order to ensure the timeliness of future deliverables.
Dev: …25 -
“Yeah, the database password has to be ‘password’ or the code won’t work”
—My PM
Note: I don’t actually believe this to be good advice.1 -
Work.overtimePay = (hours, normalRate) => {
// return hours * (rate * 2)
return "you guys are brilliant!"
}10 -
Worst experience: had a verbal fight with pm because his poor management overworked me ( I was working on the same project till 10pm every day for 4 days with no OT pay)
Best experience: I stepped up against an abusive pm and told him to fuck off to his face.12 -
Made a web app at work.
Client reported the site crashed IE10 when it loaded.
I'm not even sad about it XD6 -
Dear senior developer with xx years of development experience, please, I BEG OF YOU hear my humble unprofessional opinion.
Not every junior is a inexperienced low life.
Even though I'm glad that I'm working with someone of your wide skill set and expertise, I'm not working with you by choice nor it is my intention to distract or "steal" your knowledge.
When I suggested using a newer version of jQuery for this new project that didn't mean I'm challenging you to work on something new for your domain, I'm merely suggesting this change because jQuery 1.2 is just old and a big portion of it is deprecated.
When I suggest some changes on your CSS selectors that doesn't mean I'm acting out of place, it is my genuine interest of having effecient css where possible.
I know you (in your opinion) are the best full stack developer in the industry, but maaaan you kill me when you use js and regex to validate input type=email (table filp) ... Haalllloooo it's 2017 this Sunday aren't we supposed to progress instead of remaining in the same old same ?
RANT!!!10 -
Hackathons should not be judged by non-technical people.
I went to a Hackathon yesterday, and only two teams (mine included, of course 😉) made projects that I thought sufficiently fulfilled all the judging criteria.
The winning "project"? Literally just a two slide proposal about asking Niantic to turn the summer time free lunch distribution bus into a Pokestop. Because obviously the best way to motivate children who can't afford food to go get free summer lunches is to use a tie-in with a smart phone game. Because Niantic is so famously responsive to community requests. Because you can totally turn a bus into a Pokestop.
It was absurd, and I have no idea how it fulfilled the "impact" and "viability" judging criteria (as for the third criteria, "innovation", I suppose not coding anything at a Hackathon is pretty innovative!)
I knew that some flashy bullshit project would win, even if it was utterly unviable, but I didn't realize just how disgustingly absurd the winning project would be13 -
Our working hours are from 9 to 6 which is the standard in Malaysia (I'm not malaysian )
Yesterday I came in around 10AM and my boss took me to his room as soon as I arrived.
Boss: If you were in school and you come late what do you expect to happen ?
Me: get punished, I'll compensate by working an extra hour today.
Boss: well our clients aren't available at your extra hour and I'm struggelling with a big client you're supposed to ship the rest of his site and golive today and he's freaking out
Me: yh well his site is done it just needs final QA before going live.
Boss: oh its done already?, cool cool. Anyway you shouldn't be late you're not Malaysian and being late doesn't run in your genes like them.
*ops manager (Malaysian) walks in*
*boss confused*
*ops manager looks him in the eye*
*boss looks at the ground*
* me giggling while walking to my desk*3 -
Pure evil and geniusness, this is a must read for JavaScript developers and security enthusiasts !
https://hackernoon.com/im-harvestin...9 -
The worst thing about the gender gap in tech is that I can't find someone to borrow a hair tie from.13
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A previous co-worker (dev) bought a "foot mouse" he found on a Chinese website, then changed his keyboard's layout to match the "natural human cognitive ability" also bought a sleeping bag because he needed a "power nap" after lunch break he even asked our MD to buy him an ergonomic chair which would cost around 1200 USD ( of course our MD refused) then the worst of the worst, he had this habit of chewing his food loudly when he's eating something he likes.
One time our operations manager (she was pregnant XD) screamed at him from her desk " RAYAAAAN SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH I CAN HEAR IT FROM HERE DAMN IT"
He literally spilled some of the food he was chewing on his desk and I burst out laughing like crazy.
On the same day our MD told us to follow a new "no food in office" policy 😂😂😂
Sad story is that when he left the company I had to revert his PC to how it was including resetting the keyboard layout to default, remember his "foot mouse" ? Well he had to modify the mouse settings so all directions were inverted.
The first thing I said when I turned on his laptop was
FUCK YOU RAYAN!!3 -
my fucking boss wants me to wear formal clothes to work (no tracksuit, no hoodie etc...), it's like i will type 1/3x faster with my FUCKING TIE! I WANT TO MURDER THE MOTHERFUCKER15
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Have you ever felt that you're being overrated by your employer ?
For our front end projects we use Cloud9 IDE
Now the business have around 100k+ files.
So Cloud9 is becoming slower and slower with every new project created.
So I was tasked to build a code editor where a new instance of that code editor will be created per project ( so, the new editor doesn't need to handle a huge file tree), so I "git clone" ACE editor and add to it GoldenLayout.js , FancyTree.js and some other plugins.
Now they think I'm a genius, and I'm like ... Eh? Should I tell them.. ? Will it backfire later ?
I kinda like the feeling.
What's the best thing to do in this case?3 -
Startup.
Our intern is a weird bird. He is an immigrant (like me) and should be working his ass of to become an FT, and then tie the H1B. I never had an opportunity like this.
Instead the dude sat on his hands for four/five months since hired. He was managed remotely and fairly low touch. He was doing some light support work initially, though I had not heard anything from him.
I take him on now as his ass is about to get dropped. Manage him much more directly (small tasks several checking per day, you get the picture). We need to deliver something relatively simple in three weeks.
On Thursday I find out that the dude has no idea of what Spring is (we are a Java shop). Dude, you have had access to our fucking code base for five months, didn't it cross your mind to poke in? Maybe do a little research and see what this thing is that we are using ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE? I sit two desks from you, why the fuck didn't you ask me a question? This ain't fucking socialism where we have a five year plan.
I swear, two things I dislike: incompetence and laziness. And incompetence can generally be cured with some lecturing if the other party is willing to listen.14 -
Just because our classes are online now doesn't mean you should make your exam literally 5x harder than the in class one was you fucking bow tie wearing penis head looking cunt.
There's a literal global pandemic going on for fuck sakes. It's not like we asked to have it online fucking jackass.2 -
I'm disappointed with my boss.
I've always felt that the company I work for was different, I'm a web dev in a foreign country, finding a job as a fresh graduate wasn't easy at all.
before joining this company, all the employers I've met expected so many skills from foreigners like me, while they sat the bar so low for local fresh grad candidates.
Except my current boss, after the second interview he said that he believes in my potential and he wants to take this risk, the risk of hiring a foreign fresh graduate.
After I joined I worked my ass off and after 9 months I became a team lead.
And my boss said to me that the risk he took was completely worth it and I exceeded expectations.
Now I'm involved in assessing candidates applying for web development role at this company, we have 3 candidates 2 local and 1 foreigner.
Ironically the foreigner proved great potential and understanding of web technologies that exceeds a fresh entry role.
The other 2 local were alright, need training but they pass the criteria for an entry level role.
I reviewed this objectively and urged the same man that hired me to consider hiring the foriegner.
He said no, because of Visa costs and because of the lengthy legal process employers need to go through to hire a foreigner, and asked me to move forward with the 2 locals and not lose them to another company.
I felt that, if i were in the foriegner candidate's shoes I would've felt that there's something wrong with me for that no one wants to hire me for my skills and what I've worked hard to achieve was all not enough, it would make me feel like an outcast.
I know that I should do what I'm told, after all he's the employer, but still.. this feeling is bothering me, in a way I feel like I've cheated or I was just lucky and I didn't really earn this job.4 -
You don't need to crop that full resolution Shutterstock image, just use max width 100%
Image size: 7+mb3 -
Pointers in C. You love'em or you hate'em. A lot of room to shoot ourselves in the foot or hang ourselves. Or doing both because someone thought it would be genius to tie the guns to the rope.2
-
Things I imagine when talking to the client
1. Setting his tie on fire
2. My boss kissing him on his forehead as he explains the go live strategy
3. Him bending over and picking up a quarter stuck to the ground and then getting run over by a grandma on her mobility scooter3 -
Interveiwer: Do you like what you've learnt so far from your course in uni?
Me: sorry, but no the things they taught us were horrible and outdated and I only think of it as a legal requirement.
I'm working for his company for a year and a half now!5 -
Trying to build a mobile first application that relies on camera and geolocation data but use drupal to do it.... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS .. WTF is this shit?! ... let me nail in this screw with a banana.2
-
Apple vs. Microsoft: who sucks more?
At first glance, it's obvious that Apple sucks more. Their overpriced products are so bad that they rely heavily on vendor lock-in and cult-like brainwashing.
Then again, Apple's vendor lock-in also acts as buyer lock-out so that it's easy to avoid Apple. Basically, Apple sucking more also means they suck less. Think different indeed.
Microsoft on the other hand sucks more because their crap is so ubiquitous that it's difficult to avoid Microsoft.
That looks like a draw - but here's the tie breaker: Microsoft tries to ape Apple, BUT! Microsoft even sucks at copying Apple's suck.
So here's the final verdict: Microsoft sucks more.38 -
Meeting with an investor who brought two tech advisors.
Advisor A: you should consider using php.
Me: why?
Advisor B: node.js is older.
Me: :|
You can argue about advantages/disadvantages, but how the fuck can you argue with a fucking timeline?!4 -
Am I the only one who hates cable management like this with zip ties? When one cable needs to be replaced you have to cut a bunch of zip ties and re-zip tie everything! Use Velcro!!!!!!
(I know it's not a dev rant but my old IT self came out)6 -
!rant
Do you ever find yourself proudly staring at your beautiful code, forgetting everything else and suddenly noticing you've been at it for far too long?3 -
This rant is aimed towards those who hate on JavaScript developers and the JS language:
Dear Asshole,
I am a JavaScript developer by choice.
I think JavaScript is great.
I agree that JavaScript have some bad sides to it, but I believe that the community is driving good change to the ecosystem.
I appreciate other models of other languages.
I do not include 3rd party NPM modules without checking their source and credibility.
I will not use a framework (i.e. react, Vue, Anguler) if it's not needed.
And finally:
I can do any software engineering tasks a software engineer is supposed to do.
Kind regards,
Nedo-the-angry.18 -
Self rant!
Looked at a code snippet I wrote last year and I thought to myself: am I geting stupid for not understanding my own code ?
Tried to re build it from scratch...
Failed and had to reuse it without understanding how it's working.
I guess I am getting stupid!5 -
Trying to run a process on each CPU thread in our vps only to find that our vps has just one CPU and no multi threading. :/
We need an upgrade.1 -
This maybe not related.
Since the Dutch population is active in here, I have a question.
Today I was touring around Haarlem, it's a beautiful city but there's this green phone booths stack statue in the city, I loved everything i saw today about it, but still I don't understand why is e=mc2 written wrong "e=cm2" ?11 -
A close friend of mine is in his third term in university studying software engineering, asked me how did I land my first job so quickly after graduation.
His question made me stop for few seconds and ask myself, how would my life would've been without Coursera , Udacity, codeacademy and css-tricks.
I literally spent 2 years wasting time in uni then I discovered these sites and started learning while studying just enough to pass subjects that really has no benefit for the future whatsoever.
Even with subjects like data structures and AI, which should be interesting, it was 40℅ theory and the practical part was to complement the theory part, it was never for real world examples.
Kinda feel bad for my friend because he'll end up feeling the same frustration I went through at university.
Even now a year after graduating I feel that the only benefit of my degree was legal.
When would this silly system change ? If university courses can be specialized like online courses wouldn't it bring better talent to the market? And why governments don't take action towards this?2 -
I am Done! I am extremely burnt out and unhappy with my work. I have been doing this professionally for over 5 years now and much longer than that unprofessionally.
This new company I joined finally gave me the salary I always dreamt of but now I am extremely unhappy and depressed and anxious all the time. And I don't like the work I am doing. I don't like the team. I hate being isolated at home for over 2 years, working from home. I had a mental breakdown in the middle of the meeting the other day. And after that, I said. that's it. I am done. So, I gave the resignation letter. I don't know what I am gonna do. But I sure as hell can't do this shit any longer. But now, the fucking hr is making it even more difficult for me by not letting me leave without serving the notice period. I told her I am on fucking medication and I am having severe mental health issues. Now, she wants to see the medical certificate. Or I have to pay two months' salary. WTF? If I had that kind of money lying around, I wouldn't have slaved myself away at your shitty company, would I?
I went to my psychiatrist whom I have been seeing consulting for the last couple of years now. I asked for a medical certificate and he thinks it'll hamper my future career. So, he said I should get a certificate from a general physician. So, that's the world we live in then? You can't even speak the truth? And the way HR is behaving over the mail makes me feel like a total slave. I mean I am not at all fit for work these days, and it feels like, if she had her way, she would tie me down to a chair and ask me to push out code. what the fucking fuck. This is some fucked up industry and I think I am finally done with software development. But now, I don't have any idea what I am gonna do with my life or how am I gonna earn money. I am so burnt out and anxious that even the thought of working again gives me panic attacks. even working from home. What the fuck do I do?8 -
If it weren't for all the people who deleted their accounts, my avatar would be wearing a suit and tie right now.
Tsk tsk tak...
Now my avatar looks like a part time pimp + full time cs student. 😎😒👩🏻💻12 -
Rant!
When I'm in my "zone" working please for the love of god don't stand behind me staring at me and my screen, every time you do that you make me feel that my privacy is being raped and I can't do anything about it !!2 -
Was just thinking of building a command line tool's to ease development of some of my games assets (Just packing them all together) and seeing as I want to use gamemaker studio 2 thought that my obsession with JSON would be perfect for use with it's ds_map functions so lets start understanding the backend of these functions to tie them with my CL tool...
*See's ds_map_secure_save*
Oh this might be helpful, easily save a data structure with decent encryption...
*Looks at saved output and starts noticing some patterns*
Hmm, this looks kinda familiar... Hmmm using UTF-8, always ends with =, seems to always have 8 random numbers at the start.. almost like padding... Wait... this is just base64!
Now yoyogames, I understand encryption can be hard but calling base64 'secure' is like me flopping my knob on the table and calling it a subtle flirt...6 -
TLDR: crappy api + idiot ex client combo rant // devam si duška
I saw a lot of people bitching about APIs that don't return proper response codes and other stuff..
Well let me tell you a story. I used to work on a project where we had to do something like booking, but better..crossbreed with the Off&Away bidding site (which btw we had to rip off the .js stuff and reverse engineer the whole timer thingy), using free versions of everything..even though money wasn't an issue (what our client said). Same client decided to go with transhotel because it was sooooo gooood... OK? Why did noone heard of them then?
Anyhow, the api was xml based.. we had to send some xml that was validated against a schema, we received another that was supposed to be validated againts another schema.. and so on and so on..
...
...
supposed..
The API docs were nonexistent.. What was there, was broken English or Spanish.. Even had some comments like Add This & that to chapter xy.. Of course that chapter didn't even exist yet. :( And the last documentation they had, was really really old..more than a year, with visible gaps, we got the validation schemas not even listed in the docs, let alone described properly.
Yaaay! And that was not everything.. besides wrong and missing data, the API itself caused the 500 server error whenever you were no longer authenticated.
Of course it didn't tell you that your session was dead.. Just pooof! Unhandled crap everywhere!
And the best part?! We handled that login after inspecting what the hell happened, but sent the notification to the company anyways.. We had a conf call, and sent numerous emails explaining to them what a 'try catch' is and how they should handle the not authenticated error <= BTW they should have had a handled xml response for that, we got the schema for it! But they didn't. Anyhow, after two agonizing days talking back and forth they at least set up the server to be available again after the horrified 500 error. Before, it even stopped responding until reset (don't ask me how they managed to do that).
Oh yeah, did I mention this was a worldwide renown company?! Where everybody spoke/wrote English?! Yup, they have more than 700 people there, of course they speak English! <= another one of my ex clients fabulous statements... making me wanna strangle him with his tie.. I told him I am not talking to them because no-one there understood/spoke English and it would be a waste of my time.. Guess who spent almost 3 hours to talk to someone who sounded like a stereotypical Indian support tech guy with a flue speaking Italian?! // no offence please for the referenced parties!!
So yeah, sadly I don't have SS of the fucked up documentation..and I cannot post more details (not sure if the NDA still holds even though they canceled the project).. Not that I care really.. not after I saw how the client would treat his customers..
Anywayz I found on the interwebz some proof that this shitty api existed..
picture + link: https://programmableweb.com/api/...
SubRant: the client was an idiot! Probably still is, but no longer my client..
Wanted to store the credit card info + cvc and owner info etc.. in our database.. for easier second payment, like on paypal (which he wanted me to totally customize the payment page of paypal, and if that wasn't possible to collect user data on our personalized payment page and then just send it over to paypal api, if possible in plaintext, he just didn't care as long as he got his personalized payment page) or sth.... I told the company owner that they are fucking retards if they think they can pull this off & that they will lose all their (potential) clients if they figure that out.. or god forbid someone hacked us and stole the data.. I think this shit is also against the law..
I think it goes without saying what happened next.. called him ignorant stupid fucktard to his face and told him I ain't doing that since our company didn't even had a certificate to store the last 4 numbers.. They heard my voice over the whole firm.. we had fish-tank like offices, so they could all see me yelling at the director..
Guess who got laid off due to not being needed anymore the next day?! It was the best day of my life..so far!! Never have I been happier to lose my job!!
P.S. all that crap + test + the whole backand for analysis, the whole crm + campaign emails etc.. the client wanted done in 6 months.. O.o
P.P.S. almost shat my pants when devRant notified my I cannot post and wanted to copy the message and then everything disappeard.. thank god I have written this in the n++ xDundefined venting big time issues no documentation idiot xml security api privacy ashole crappy client rant11 -
Wrote myself a flight stability controller for a drone I built - used an ultrasonic sensor for altitude so it should've maintained a constant altitude, but I had the throttle increments too high...
Hooked up the battery - off it fucked, hit the ceiling, bounced off a wall, and broke 2 props before I could grab it and yank the battery off.
Protip - if you're building a drone, tie it to a heavy fucking rock for your first flight test!8 -
My employer thinks their Wordpress site is great because it's so easy to find a Wordpress "developer". That's like commissioning artwork patched together from colouring books because it's easy to find someone who can use crayons.
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"Knowing" Bootstrap or Foundation is not the same as knowing CSS. If you claim to know css and you can't even tell me what media query is or how to make a page even semi-responsive without a css framework, please do everyone a favor and fuck off.2
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I was told to present an app that was hardly finished and that the company really needed the sale. So I worked through the weekend and basically slept in the office getting this project working perfectly. Monday I am there in my suite and tie ready to sell it, only to be told that 'Monday is the internal presentation' so feeling like a boob I present it to my colleagues. The when Tuesday comes, I do the presentation only to find out the client bought the app months ago. Man I was cross.
Then, the CEO gave me a high five6 -
> Worst work culture you've experienced?
It's a tie between my first to employers.
First: A career's dead end.
Bosses hardly ever said the truth, suger-coated everything and told you just about anything to get what they wanted. E.g. a coworker of mine was sent on a business trip to another company. They had told him this is his big chance! He'd attend a project kick-off meeting, maybe become its lead permanently. When he got there, the other company was like "So you're the temporary first-level supporter? Great! Here's your headset".
And well, devs were worth nothing anyway. For every dev there were 2-3 "consultants" that wrote detailed specifications, including SQL statements and pseudocode. The dev's job was just to translate that to working code. Except for the two highest senior devs, who had perfect job security. They had cooked up a custom Ant-based build system, had forked several high-profile Java projects (e.g. Hibernate) and their code was purposely cryptic and convoluted.
You had no chance to make changes to their projects without involuntarily breaking half of it. And then you'd have to beg for a bit of their time. And doing something they didn't like? Forget it. After I suggested to introduce automated testing I was treated like a heretic. Well of course, that would have threatened their job security. Even managers had no power against them. If these two would quit half a dozen projects would simply be dead.
And finally, the pecking order. Juniors, like me back then, didn't get taught shit. We were just there for the work the seniors didn't want to do. When one of the senior devs had implemented a patch on the master branch, it was the junior's job to apply it to the other branches.
Second: A massive sweatshop, almost like a real-life caricature.
It was a big corporation. Managers acted like kings, always taking the best for themselves while leaving crumbs for the plebs (=devs, operators, etc). They had the spacious single offices, we had the open plan (so awesome for communication and teamwork! synergy effects!). When they got bored, they left meetings just like that. We... well don't even think about being late.
And of course most managers followed the "kiss up, kick down" principle. Boy, was I getting kicked because I dared to question a decision of my boss. He made my life so hard I got sick for a month, being close to burnout. The best part? I gave notice a month later, and _he_still_was_surprised_!
Plebs weren't allowed anything below perfection, bosses on the other hand... so, I got yelled at by some manager. Twice. For essentially nothing, things just bruised his fragile ego. My bosses response? "Oh he's just human". No, the plebs was expected to obey the powers that be. Something you didn't like? That just means your attitude needs adjustment. Like with the open plan offices: I criticized the noise and distraction. Well that's just my _opinion_, right? Anyone else is happily enjoying it! Why can't I just be like the others? And most people really had given up, working like on a production line.
The company itself, while big, was a big ball of small, isolated groups, sticking together by office politics. In your software you'd need to call a service made by a different team, sooner or later. Not documented, noone was ever willing to help. To actually get help, you needed to get your boss to talk to their boss. Then you'd have a chance at all.
Oh, and the red tape. Say you needed a simple cable. You know, like those for $2 on Amazon. You'd open a support ticket and a week later everyone involved had signed it off. Probably. Like your boss, the support's boss, the internal IT services' boss, and maybe some other poor sap who felt important. Or maybe not, because the justification for needing that cable wasn't specific enough. I mean, just imagine the potential damage if our employees owned a cable they shouldn't!
You know, after these two employers I actually needed therapy. Looking back now, hooooly shit... that's why I can't repeat often enough that we devs put up with way too much bullshit.3 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.undefined fuck brain fuck and why the fuck are you reading tags? sex robot humans sex robot lets leave planet5 -
Best 2017: that’s a tie:
- refinding devRant and feeling like this is the place I was missing from my life!
- getting to the end of the year with a stable and complete project, bring on next years insanity!
Worst: still working ( minor routine tasks ) during my annual leave! -
When configuring a digitalocean server and install shit loads of dependencies takes less time than npm install .....4
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Manager told all of us to leave at 5 instead of 6:30 because of Christmas.
Then he told us to work from home this Friday and take Monday off cuz Christmas is on a Sunday.4 -
Firefox.
I ignored your update for ages.
Because half your dev base are retards circle jerking over a language made by a smug midwit marxist who believes in ceremony over productivity.
And then you go and autoupdate without my permisson. Didn't realize microsoft wasn't the only one that could push things on people like common rapists.
Went and pushed an update when I've EXPLICITLY turned down your update nagware hundreds of times.
And now ad block is disabled.
And I'm being flooded by bullshit.
And the 'patch' you released requires me to update.
Well jumping fucking christ on a pogo stick. Why didnt you just force update the whole god damn application you shit-for-brains firefox devs?
What, you thought I wouldn't fucking notice?
You thought, because microsoft did it, that this shit was cool, in 2019?
Like that bullshit you pulled as a 'tie in' for mr robot?
I would kick you in your fucking nuts if I met you.
Ps: Your fucking patch that you put out doesn't even fucking reenable extensions.
Incompetent dumbasses.
I'm moving to another browser with less 'diversity' in the dev team.32 -
I received 2 job offers:
1: c++ / c# / unity developer for a VR studio, tons of vr visors and shit to use
2: python / Java/somethingelse developer for machine learning, iot, big data
Offer n1 is from a small business 35 employees - casual outfit
Offer n2 is from medium/big business with 100-200 employees - suit and tie for all.
Same economic offer, 2 different and divergent paths on different but trending topics.
What do you choose and why18 -
Quick rant!!
Deadline in 2 days, working with a team.
Me: yo ! , How's the xyz feature? Is it working now?
Teammate: yah, made it work yesterday.
Me: epic! Can you present it to me?
Teammate: wtf, it's not working today!!
Me: no worries, you can sort it out!
Teammate: the latest release you worked on doesn't work properly.
Me: yah, merged code fucked up, I'm fixing that, I'll push a fix today.
And the cycle continues... -
Ahh it's been a while since I've posted.. My skills with python are getting better (I'm a beginner) and I know for everyone else it's probably nothing but my first big project/idea I came up with was to program a simple rock paper scissors game that prints if you win lose or tie. I got the input and random output right without having to look anything up and that actually makes me proud of myself which is rare but for the printing out you win, lose, or tie I looked it up but I'm noticing that I'm getting better.
Then today I made a coin flip script that returns heads or tails in like 2 minutes and the only reference I used was my own code!!
Thanks if anyone actually read it I envy a lot of you for doing it for a living and I can't wait to do it too :)6 -
After almost 6 years of emotionless journey with a single focus towards my career, I have a crush on somebody.
Now I'm confused AF 😕5 -
My head is melting. Does anyone have a colleague who constantly complains about missing specs, documentation, project organization, bad processes and procedures? Everything needs to be planned. Not a single small code change can be done without reviewed details. 10min job becomes a week-long session of whining and dabbling.
You give the guy a small task and at the end of the day nothing is done. Just page after page of written documents and lists in Word and online notebooks. Version numbers, meaningless measurement results, latencies etc. And all you asked was "could you just fucking fix this one thing and quickly compile and check it". But no. There must be a review and at least 10 people need to be called into conference. Someone needs to approve everything just so that he can later move to blame to others. "Yeah I know it's not working but I showed you the code and you reviewed it!". Yes, you did, but other people have work of their own so sometimes you need to tie your own shoelaces.
And sometimes finally there's some work done. All indentations are shit. There’re code changes everywhere just because the guy didn't like the previous smaller, compact and logical code. The code doesn't even compile properly anymore. And if you complain, the reason is "there's no proper reviewed and stamped process description, so I cannot know if a variable is supposed to be 10 characters long. Besides 200 character long variable names are much more descriptive". For fucks sake.
Some coders should've gone to work in some tax office basement.9 -
Debugging yor server code for over an hour only to find out that you were using "var/.." instead of "/var/.." 😐😐1
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I'm a front end developer who knows Ruby on rails and Node Js, I still call myself a freaking FRONT END DEVELOPER because I don't have enough knowledge of the required concepts to trust my skill in a complex backend project.
How the fuck there are so many full stack developers who lack shit tons of knowledge in both specialties! And worst of those are asp.net "FULLSTACK DEVS" that can't write JavaScript without copying and pasting from SO and don't know that display flex is a thing!14 -
This kid on the tape is me. I'm not even two years old there and I'm already messing around with wires.
Five minutes later on that tape I figured out how to turn the vacuum cleaner on and tried to tie it to the cassette deck.
No wonder why I'm a programmer now 😂 -
One thing I hate about WinForms:
"do not modify the contents of this method with the code editor."
How the phook do I add eventhandlers without adding them in the code? By some mysterious ways in the so called "designer"? Click and drag? Wearing a tie and talking to the computer? Making a phone call to Microsoft? Immersing into VR and ordering an event handler from a virtual store?
No, I've always just typed whatever I want to achieve and I'm going to do so whatever those know-it-all comments say in the auto-generated code.
You can call me a conservative old fart, but nothing beats writing my own code.6 -
Build an app that would tell you about all the news that mainstream media doesn't want to cover, like what's happening in parts of Africa, the enslaved workers in the far East and the situation of the Syrian and Iraqi lands under siege.
Then follows it with a cute baby/puppy/kitten video so you don't end up looking at the "empty half of the cup"1 -
rant!
As a web dev i really hate half assed solutions
Especially when I'm forced to spend time making them because some stupid sales person sold certain features that our current product doesn't support.
At the end of the day that sales guy gets a commission and I build something that will inevitably break somewhere in the future.1 -
I was tasked by a client to build a blogging / News website.
Client's first request: remove any reference of a publish date from the blogs, it ages our content.3 -
Rant!
A colleague bought a mechanical keyboard to the office today.
Pro: if you miss a deadline you can blame that colleague.
Con: schizophrenia.7 -
Sorry I haven't been as active lately, however this is one of the better prompts, so I feel I should have it in my track record. Beware, it's a long one...
Let's trace the roots: My uncle was building desktops and he told my dad he'd build him one if my dad paid him for the components. These days I know builds aren't rocket science, but back then my parents didn't do their research. So my dad paid him.
Give or take some time, and most of the parts are complete. He underestimated the prices of a few things and had to ask for $200 more to complete the build. This...caused my dad to explode.
Later, I heard my dad ranting to my stepmom in January 2017 about how the last convo he had with his brother was a "Fuck-you conversation" - it was the last because my uncle had died in 2003.
Flash forward to March 2017. My mom and I are sitting in a Fazoli's, a nice sunset out of the full-length windows. I had to probe. HAD TO.
"You promise you won't tell your dad I told you this?" she asked.
"You know Kellie and I can't stand to be around him." I replied.
As the story goes, that last "Fuck-you conversation"? Over a fucking measly $200. Yup, the last conversation between my dad and his brother to ever happen was a shouting match over a relatively short amount of money. I wish I could say my dad had remorse, but he doesn't. He still talks shit. He's also technologically illiterate, so I doubt there was a way his brother was going to be able to reason with him.
In late 2003, my uncle, who had been a smoker, passed away due to cardiac arrest. The build was still not finished. This was one of the OTHER things that I have mixed feelings about.
After my uncle passed, my aunt paid someone to finish the build and get it shipped to my dad. We'll get back to why I feel this is fucked up, stay tuned...
---------
It's Spring 2004. I'm in the last half of what I think is Kindergarten or some shit...too lazy to do the math. Anyway, my dad announces we have a family computer - however, I couldn't read yet. That didn't stop the waste of oxygen that is my father from going in the Windows XP screensavers and putting text in that said "GAGE MORGAN WILL NOT TOUCH THIS COMPUTER." He's such a fuckin' dick, now AND back then.
My mom had an issue with this. I don't know why, but she did. Later, I was slowly taught how to use the mouse, under heavy supervision. Then I went to my grandma's house. She taught me one very specific thing on her old Win98 (386, maybe? IDK my old hw shit man), and because I know you guys are gonna love this one:
"The blue "e" opens up your games!"
The blue "e" does not open up your games, it opens something that can lead to your games.
I went home and tried this...without permission. My dad came down and discovered my lollygagging on the homepage - this is fucking weird. It was before Nextel, IIRC, so Sprint's logo was red still. Yes, we had broadband from Sprint. I don't know what saga led to that going the way of the dodo, but...
Back on track, I literally got my pants pulled down and had my bare bottom beat. He was gonna drag my ass upstairs and lock me in my room, but before he could, he accidentally slammed MY FUCKING RIGHT TEMPLE into the corner of a hardwood table at the bottom of the staircase.
The wailing that resulted probably was different than the previous form, which is probably what got my mom involved. My dad had a way of going too far, and in retrospect I'm more terrified now of what could've happened than I was then.
Later, I was given access to games in the form of my own account and bookmarks bar. That wasn't the end of the madness/drama from my use of that machine, but it was the earliest form.
Ever since Kindergarten, that one fateful day, I've been defying any/all imposed limitations on tech set on me by my parents...well, not anymore, but literally grades K-12. I'm living on my own, aka "adulting" now. It sucks more than you think, man.
---------
Let's tie this up before I reach the limit. I said I thought it was fucked up when my aunt paid to have the build finished and shipped to us after my uncle's death.
Yes, my aunt's intervention led to me ultimately majoring in computer science.
That doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't have done it.
My dad was an asshole to her husband, who passed. She is ultimately too caring. I don't think my jackass father should've been able to get by with that, he didn't deserve the freebie. Someone else should've told him his brother did in fact need that $200.
I haven't seen her IRL since the funeral when my grandpa passed in 2005. 2006 spelled the end of my parents' marriage.
Hope you guys enjoyed this - it's only a small segment of how I got to where I am now - tiny, actually.2 -
> 1 hr meeting
> 30 min free
> 30 min meeting
> 3 hour meeting
> 30 min free
> 15 min "check point"
> How hard is concrete from 20 stories?!1 -
A client asked me to include a GA tracking code into her website,
I said yea I'll add it for you, just send me the code snippet please :)
she sent me the URL to google analytics login page....
I told her that I need the code snippet not the URL.
She replied: yah that's what I sent.
Me:...2 -
Massachusetts city tells ransomware scumbags to RYUK off, our IT staff will handle this easily
https://theregister.co.uk/2019/09/...6 -
I am a pretty well of dev with a nice job and a nice salary. Yet I still suffer from imposter syndrome. It's nice to get on here and read rants about shit I've also has issues with or just feel better about myself because I wasn't the one the person that rant was about. Cheers to you devrant1
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Today I decided that from now on for all strings that need to be initialized and don't need a special value, I will assign a TIE-fighter "|-o-|".
That will be my legacy.5 -
Fuck pep8 in general. Fuck harder anything to do with line limits. Fuck with a rusty spatula those who tie it into their git precommits or CI tests.
What's that, it's 2018 and even the shittiest walmart-tier computers have 1080p OR BETTER at a 16:9 aspect ratio?
"lol, 80 character line limit."
Eat a bucket of rancid dicks.
Oh, and since we're forcing you to be so economical with your characters, we're going to force four space tabs. Yknow, rather than simple single tab characters, which could mean everyone can set their preferred level of spacing without bloating the code with whitespace.
Because, yknow, it's entirely reasonable to chew up 1/8 of a line because you're editing a function inside a class definition. God Almighty forbid you try to do a for loop inside that function! Fuck you!
"Oh but you can't have two editors or terminals open side by side without that limit!"
BULL FUCKING SHIT. Here's my shitty 1280x1024 display on my shitty computer with two Sublime editors open side by side. You'll notice the break is at 100 characters. You'll notice I don't have to scroll horizontally to do two things at once. You'll notice I even have room for COMMENTS!
If your code standards require you to make your code *less* readable and *less* clear and take up *more* space to accomplish the same tasks, YOUR CODE STANDARDS SUCK!
Enough with this stupid meme. We're not in the 80s anymore and it's high time to start fucking acting like it.7 -
Just now... Got a job to create patch files for a couple of jars, which may or may not have varying class files. In total, I have to decompile, check, add and synchronize about 30 class files in 6 jars with a new functionality (that I didn't write). 🙂
FUCK PRODUCTION! WHY CANT YOU MAINTAIN ONE MOTHERFUCKING JAR?
OH? YOU'RE SUPERSTITIOUS THAT ONE TINY, ANT-SHIT SIZED CHANGE IN ONE SIMPLE FUNCTIONALITY WILL FUCK UP *OUR* PRODUCT?
FUCK MANAGEMENT! YOU DON'T HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR *OWN* PRODUCT!
OH? CUSTOMER COMES FIRST? HAVE THE BALLS TO DEFEND YOUR OWN FUCKING SELF AND PRODUCT TO THE CLIENT OR THEY'RE GONNA MAKE YOU YOUR BITCH AND TIE A GAGBALL DIPPED IN HOT SAUCE AROUND YOUR MOUTH! HOW.. THE FUCK.. DID YOU MISS THAT LOGIC??????
Best part, they want it by tomorrow, and they don't wanna test it. Guess who's gonna get slaughtered after a week? ME! 🙂5 -
I have met a game developer today who genuinely browse the internet using MS Edge by choice.
His reason: sine I was little I loved Microsoft, I accept the fact that some websites don't show properly on Microsoft's browser, by using their browser I keep reminding myself that loyalty to what I love is more important than practicality.
My response to him: bbut... As long as you're happy!
As a web developer I feel that myself and other web devs have the responsibility to kick Microsoft in the butt to make their browser good enough for loyal people like that guy!14 -
Question?
Did you or anyone you know take a nano degree from Udacity? Is it worth the money ? Do companies or academic bodies recognize it?
Some of their nanodegree courses look very interesting!!17 -
- I buy product X online.
- AFTER buying it, I'm flooded with ads about the same product X.
- Why are they wasting money in this way - I think - I won't buy it again soon!
Suddenly a crazy idea strikes me:
The company running the ads, is able in this way to tie the number of ads impressions to me and to my purchase.
In some *superficial* statistics, I will be a guy who has seen thousand of ads AND bought a product. The kind of superficial statistics you show to CEO's
I'm the proof that the marketing company is running ads very well and deserve a good share.
More useless ads they send me the better for the marketing company, as it will justify higher expenses.
I think I also helped implementing this system on some website, unconsciously.
It's just that I have a perverse mind, or did I find how to be rich?2 -
Took a job at a bank for the money. The job is super boring. So much bureaucracy. I don't know what I am doing here...9
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Gag SO, tie em up & suspend them in the air in the basement or attic..
Helps if SO is into BDSM..if not it's a bit awkward.. // joke, I don't even have an attic or basement.. :(
In all seriousnes, if anyone knows how to prevent people from knocking on the office door to ask if I want coffe or sth to eat, that'd be great..asking them to not disturb unless the house is on fire or they cut off their fingers clearly doesn't help.. :(8 -
Wow, Oracle is tenacious... Does this kind of decision mean people will move away from Java?
Oracle vs Google/Android
http://money.cnn.com/2018/03/...7 -
It's a tie between 3 things for me.
1. md5 hashed passwords
2. post variable concatenated into sql with no checks
3. admin login over http
sad thing is that all 3 was one website I redid a few years ago8 -
If your a developer please learn to program. There is no reason that this should ever be a package https://npmjs.com/package/year-now/1
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I'm just trying to get my boss on the phone and his secretary tells me he is in a seminar but I walk by his office and he is eating a MF DONUT1
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!rant
I have been lurking around here for about a month. Finally decided to write about how devRant motivates me. Whenever I read stuff I don't understand it makes me realize I've got so much more to learn. Happy new year :)1 -
When you're trying to solve a problem and you're spinning your head around then you check your phone and see the co-founder of a service you love just liked your rant.
You feel like: awee!! thank you 😍
Then you get back to work with some good portion of dopamine in your head to support you
Thanks again for this service 🙏1 -
During 6 months I updated myself day and night on java, springboot and AWS.
I failed most of the technical interviews on my preferred stack, however I got a job, where the probable stack is C#, dotnet and Azure.
So, I have a couple of weeks of very good quality rant ahead.
I just started.
hmmm let's see, should I use Visual Studio or Visual Studio CODE. I spent the morning before understanding they were different. I could have spent the morning Studying how To Visually fuck you, lame name chooser.
Now I'm following a tutorial.
I need .NET 5.0, but guess what, I have .NET core 3.1.
But wait, fuck, .NET and .NET CORE are not the same thing! Will .net core 3.1 work for a .NET project or not?
And there goes the afternoon. Is he the same guy who choose the names?
I'll tie you with a barbed wire net and fuck you to the core, you asshole7 -
At my last gig, part of our business process was to generate a unique human-readable ID that could tie an individual to our product and service. Well, we had a few rather superstitious, paranoid and vocal customers who felt 'uneasy' when they received their unique ID with 666 in it.
So after having a good laugh and roll on the floor, I got to write an exorciseUniqueId() method that compelled the evil numbers to stop possessing those innocent IDs!4 -
I f&#king hate it here. I am just eyeing to exit as soon as 1 year of my contractual obligation is over. My employer is a good employer. Provides good benefits but I just can't take the bureaucrazy in here. Just yesterday, had to ask another team to deploy objects on our behalf as they are the schema owner. They did it and asked us to review it today. But how? We don't even have manual access to the schema, because we are not the content owner and security! But that's fine, I can always query the catalog views and check the metadata and should be able to conclude the deployment. Right? NOOOO. Because security! Of what? Column names?
Prev rant: https://devrant.com/rants/5145722/...2 -
HOLY SHIT. short story, just dodged a bullet. Using the Samuel L Ipsum generator and not thinking. I then use this copy to test the notification system with the following text. luckily the system email only went to me!
"Look, just because I don't be givin' no man a foot massage don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin' house, fuckin' up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, 'cause I'll kill the motherfucker, know what I'm sayin'?
Well, the way they make shows is, they make one show. That show's called a pilot. Then they show that show to the people who make shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they're going to make more shows. Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some don't, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing."1 -
That feeling when your debugging your code for two days only to relies that the file extension you passed to a method and the file extension you expected are two completely different things :facepalm:1
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A recruiter at https://skillcombo.com/ was conducting an interview via video link, the candidate was wearing a pressed white shirt and a stylish tie with doughnuts from The Simpsons. During the interview, the quality of the connection began to deteriorate and the candidate asked for a moment to turn up the volume on the speaker behind him. This required him to stand up and then my eyes were opened to the stunning lingerie of Homer Simpson and those same doughnuts, they complemented his whole image magnificently.3
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!Rant
Dear fellow front end developer, why?, just why would you use "!important" on every property value inside your @media query?2 -
Rant
I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!
I've worked today till 4am.
Guess who's working from home in the morning!6 -
Allrighty, so we have a huge migration upcoming. The planning started early this spring. We've split the whole process into separate tasks and estimated each of them. Also marked all the tasks client should take care of itself so save funds and time. All-in-all the whole thing estimated like 4 months if we did it [single dev, tremendous amounts of communication with various parties, buy and prepare the infra, adapt app to the changes, testing, monitoring, etc.] and like a month if client did the tasks we shouldn't be doing. The funding for migration is time-bound and can only be used before December. Cool! We got notified that by the end of April we should be good to go! Plenty of time to do things right!
April comes. Silence. Mid-april we resch out to the client. Since there's plenty of time left migration is getting lower priority to other tasks. Well allright, sort of makes sense. We should migrate mid-July. Cool!
July comes. Client replies that everyone's on vacation now. Gotta wait for August - will do the quicker version of migration to make it on time. Well allright....
August comes. Everyone's vusy with whatever they've postponed during summer. Hopefully we'll start migration in September. Mhm...
September comes. We're invited to a meeting by project funders to explain tasks' breakdown, justify the time needed to make the migration. We're being blamed for surreal estimations and poor organization of tasks as nothing's happened yet... [they were the ones who always were postponing things....]. Moreover, they can only spare 20% of infra resources required for data alone anf they want us to make that enough for all environments, all components, all backups, all databases,... You get the pic.
The leader of the meeting semi silently mumbled to other participants 'Well then I'm afrsid we can't make a full migration in time.. Only partial. That's very unfortunate, very. That's why we should not have incopetent vendors [*glancing at us*]'
somehow we agreed we'll get the resources mid-November and we should be thankful for him bcz he'll have to pull some strings for... us..
I left the meeting with my fists squeezed so hard! But it's okay, we got smth useful: resources and start date. Although it leaves us with less than a month to do smth requiring a month for a sunny-day scenario. Nvm, still doable.
Last week we get an email that resources will be available at the beginning of December [after deadline] and we should start a full migration no sooner than Nov 12. Which leaves us with 50% of our estimated fucking optimistic scenario time and not enough resources to even move a single db.
Fuck I hate politics in dev... Is it wrong for me to want to tie them to a pole, set them on a veeery slow fire and take a piss on them while they're screaming their shitty lungs out? I'd enjoy the view and the scream. I know I would. And while enjoying I might be tempted to take a burning 20cm diameter wooden stick and shove it up their assholes. Repeatedly. Round-robin. Promissing them I'll take it out in 5 seconds and pulling it out after 2 minutes.
Can I?8 -
Rant...ish? It's more mixed feelings...
Had my first day yesterday at a new job in a big company. I came dressed really nicely in a suit and tie. Went to orientation with everyone new coming in.
Felt like I made the right choice to up my effort in dress code.
Met with my manager, was led to my team. Everyone is dressed casually. Unshaved. Giving me hate stares.
Felt out of place. But kind of happy that I can try less.
Still. What's up with programmers and being toxic to people dressed nicely o.0 I don't need to look like I came out of crunch time every single day to prove my worth...
It's really weird getting these looks. It's almost like highschool all over again. When I let my mother dress me and looked like the nerdiest kid on the block...
Then again, today I'm wearing sneakers and causal clothes. I either feel like I cave in to peer pressure... But at the same time I don't mind it. Erghhh... Still hate this...
Mixed feelings... I donno.4 -
Conclusion:
Cross-Platform mobile development sucks.
I will spend more tie but deliver more elegant app2 -
Rant C++
Why do some people like to use ALL the language features. lets use "auto" en "std::tuple" and "std::tie" to hook everything together.. I cannot put something In a list because I now have to use std::move. SURE! If for every line of code I need to lookup what things were again or fixing compile errors it breaks my flow. "std::bind" this and Template that. half of the stuff you don't actually need.. it just complicates things..
Not all are bad. Only Unnecessary sometimes.7 -
From our CTO:
"As cheesy as it may sound, if you want things to change, you need to be the change"
I was able to build a team based on that, now our team is looked at as the "cool team" in the company.1 -
So...
I made a project that the employer liked.
He told me today that he wants me to work on a site builder like Wix but better.
I asked for the deadline and he said:
We started that with a view that it will be delivered in 2 months.
I'm like: -__-
And somehow I have this feeling that deadline will be cut in half when we start making some promising progress...1 -
I've finally started playing a MUD game in my spare time. I gotta say, it's kinda awesome. And, BONUS: it looks like I'm actually working since the interface is just a text terminal.2
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please tell me who had the great idea that someone should put screen shots of a web page in a excel sheet to include as their "bug" report. I cant fathom that someone once thought this idea was "good"1
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hey guy just FYI node is not a Fucking cure all.
also "knowing" node doesn't make you a Fucking full stack developer. learn some real damn languages.10 -
Need a advice.
Have been a Windows user since many years. But at college I do use ubuntu and am familiar with it. So now I have developed interest in using Linux due to its simplicity and ease of use.
But for some tasks I still need Windows. So thinking to Dual boot my laptop. Have heard dual boot harms the laptop, makes it slow, blah blah.
So Is it advisable to Dualboot on a same machine?
My config:-
intel core i5 7th gen; 8 gb ram, 1 tb HDD,. 2gb AMD R5.9 -
SHOCK CONTENT PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Star tattoos on knees means "I'll never be on my knees for cops", "I'll never do what cops say" in russian criminal culture. However, these tattoos are dangerous. Russian cops don't like them. If you're just arrived to a russian prison and they see the tattoos (and they see it), they tie your legs the way that makes you knees face the ground, then two cops hold you and drag you around the huge asphalt prison yard until there is no stars on your knees, only the naked kneecap bones or lack thereof.
I have to leave but it's psychologically hard because russia is the country that gaslighted and threatened me into becoming a slave. It's a stockholm syndrome and I want to break it.14 -
I need help!
This is gonna be a long question/story.
I'm a Syrian based in Malaysia working as a lead web dev in a good company.
I have a friend in trouble and I want to help him.
Here's a summary:
My friend is a project manager at a gaming studio he happens to be an Iranian atheist with around 2 years of experience in the game making industry.
He worked on and delivered a couple AAA games at his current place of employment as a project manager in one of the teams that made those games.
He stood up for his team when the management was overworking team till after midnight sometimes and forcing them to work on weekends without any tangible compensations ( basically they gave them things like free lunches, movie tickets, etc).
The result of his standing up to his team was the management handing him a notice telling him that he'll be fired within 2 months due to "underperforming".
This was a month and a half ago.
He looked around in Malaysia for a job that can get him a working visa, but his niche background couldn't help.
After his termination in few weeks he can extend his stay at Malaysia for approximately 2 - 3 months.
Now the reason why I mentioned that he's an "Iranian atheist" is the fun part of this story (sarcasm), Iranian government considers him as an "infidel" and he's banned from Iran.
His Iranian passport can't get him anywhere where he can make a living.
So basically he has close to no options.
Now to where I come into all of this:
I want to help him.
I'm going to dedicate my free time for the next 2 - 3 months teaching him web development, the problem is, I don't know how to teach web development in such a short time, in fact I've never taught anyone programming from scratch.
If he can show promising results I know that I can make a case for him get him a position in the company I work for.
I already convinced him today to try and learn web development because I can tell that in Malaysia there's always demand on good web developers.
Now to my request:
how can I best teach web development to someone with no programming background ? I'm thinking about teaching him front end development, so: HTML, CSS/SASS and JavaScript. maybe react js as well if possible ( high demand is usually on React/ Angular front end developers)
Did anyone here teach programming to someone else before?
Did anyone here learn web development in such a short time?
If you've read all this... Thank you :)17 -
"Stop using mixins in your SASS it's complicating the code for the team.
Extend your classes instead"1 -
After 5 frustrating days, I have my laptop running again. Just in time for a data structures and algorithms exam.
TL;DR: driver issues aren't fun.
It all started on Friday, after the creators update. I was doing notes on lectures, and Windows crashed. I thought not much of it, it was just a "random" crash. I'd gotten a similar crash before, but I didn't think anything of it. This time was different, again it was my touchpad drivers that caused the issue, but this time a restart didn't work. I couldn't boot into Windows. I had to roll back to the last recovery point, effectively undoing the update.
This was fine, and fixed the issue, until Windows automatically updated my touchpad again, after me previously changing the driver. Another restart later and I couldn't boot. Time to roll back to recovery, right? Wrong. My drive had somehow, corrupt most of the Windows files.
And so, starts the journey of dismantling my laptop, changing the hard drive and putting it back together, a process that took 3 days due to not having the correct tools originally, and a late delivery.
(I could have rolled back to my backup system image, but that was before the creators update, and would have essentially postponed the issues I was having)
Finally, I managed to get Windows loaded from boot media (thankfully, they seem to tie your Windows licence to your account now) and am currently in the process of regaining all my lost files (which I have to pull from a system image, so it's a lot of digging through compressed files).
On a positive note, things are running well, and the faster hard drive (7200rpm vs 5400rpm) is a nice upgrade. And the touchpad drivers (the same one that kept crashing) haven't caused any problems since.
Now at least, I can get back to programming :D1 -
Started a side project.
Learnt flutter and firebase.
Started coding app.
Four months pass by.
App is mostly ready.
Wakes up on Saturday morning.
Updates Android Studio and SDK because, why not?
Build failed!
Dependency depreciation warnings!
Java errors!
Firebase errors!
Emulator stopped running!
Wify is angry with me as we planned shopping but now this. Fortunately, she's also in IT, so she understands..
FML! Spent the entire day stackoverflowing and fixing errors!
8PM evening, I am back to Friday's status. My shoulder and neck hurts but my mind is chilled.6 -
Hello devs. This happens to be my first rant. And I got a question to start off.
I'm looking for an existing public/open-source React project which is not too hard to understand and has a good folder/file structure and code structure. Something that gives me an idea of how a good production level code and project should be.
Any recommendation is appreciated. Can be your own project too.
Thank you 😊.10 -
Suit on, tie on, first meeting on a web project I quoted on 16 months ago (and won). frantically wading through notes and quote from the time. Think i’ll just wing it and up the price a bit.
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Forgetting every day tasks...
So I can use map, reduce, filter in my sleep, have memorised huge chunks of valuable programming information.
Today I went to the gym and laced up my jogging pants, looked at the vogue knot I'm supposed to tie to prevent them from falling down and my brain just said:
"Fucked if I know how to tie that!" -
Computerworld: Call me crazy, but Windows 11 could run on Linux.
https://computerworld.com/article/...13 -
Learning Python as a first language. Or Pascal. It's a tie between mainstream informal and obsolete formal education.17
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Got another one of my boring questions for us all to hopefully discuss a little.
With all the talk about the Librem 5 starting to ramp up more and with my little delve into UBports, was curious as to what other devs would be interested in/want/need from a mobile Linux operating system.
For me it's simple but mostly creature comforts.
1. Consistency and convergence, give me the ability to run a full desktop environment along side the mobile DE but make it consistent between the two (Looking at you Microsoft with your continuum)
2. Doesn't loose the customisability of Linux, let me install any Linux application I want and customise the theme and icons (Something I have a gripe with UBports)
3. Have accompanying operating system with an echo system, so have a wearable OS, a desktop OS and mobile OS, having that tie between the 3 is amazing as a heavy android and chromeOS user.
Would love to bring some of these things to reality but don't have any knowledge of how to do it, personally would love to see elementary OS have a crack at this (Wont happen but got to deam!)2 -
Thought I'd print a useful article on JS design patterns....
Looks like I'll be messing with the CSS for a while!1 -
What do people here use for blogging and hosting? Everything I can find from searching suggests self-hosted Wordpress, but I am cautious because of its reputation in the dev world and since all the guides I have found so far are directed at non-coders. Thanks in advance for any opinions 😊8
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Want to weed out bad Devop potential hires? Ask them how their ideal branching strategy is designed. Such a simple question will tell you a lot!4
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It's a tie between HP Loadrunner, which is literally older than I am and behaves like it hasn't been updated since release, and ServiceNow, which is just so.. limited and forces you to think real fucking creative to get anything useful done, for me. Working in either is absolutely painful 😖1
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Still remember my first year of university, listening to the full professor (i. e. she has a frickin PhD). She couldn't explain the difference between ++i and i++. When I tried to tell her what they meant, she dropped this gem: "oh, I just wrap them in parentheses to be safe so it makes no difference which one I use."
Luckily, future profs were much better.1 -
god damn it, your a grown ass fucking person. Why the fuck can you not be mature enough to stay on slack during business hours?! GAH!!!!!!!!3
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A junior front end developer colleage of mine doesn't know the meaning of aspect ratio and doesn't understand why he needs to understand it or why is it important for responsive designs.3
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Have you ever gotten a task where you have to modify some existing code, and to get it to work the way it needs to you have to write some ugly ass code?
And I'm talking FUGLY ass code. The kind where every brain cell you have screams to refactor it all so that your code won't be so ugly and you can live with yourself. But you only wrote it that way because some numbnuts who was fired a year ago designed it that way, and left zero commentary or documentation on his reasoning ("sELf-dOcUmeNtiNg cOde, bRuH!").
It doesn't pose any sort of risk with regards to security or resource management or efficiency, or really even faulty logic. It just looks fucking awful, my brain can instantly see better ways to design it and I don't want history to tie my name to it.
But also the system is being gutted and retired within a matter of months, so maintenance won't even be a concern; and you know that you have a lot of other large tasks that need your attention too, and to refactor will ultimately prove to be a time sink.
I mean ultimately, I know what I need to do, but I guess it's a pride thing. Just makes me feel icky. -
ProTip :: Avoid code conflicts by commenting out Git header references. Never worry about "resolutions" again
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Got a new devops "manger" today we had an argument for 20 mins about why Staging/UAT was needed and why we could not just by pass it and get to prod quicker .. WHAT?! I am dumbfounded I do not have words to express the emotions I am having right now.2
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I hate installing things with pip. It has to be the worst set up for a package installer. About 75% of the time something I'm installing fails and I have to look up why. Coming from npm and yarn where it just works I can't stand the disconnect I get when trying to get into something and I have to configure stuff for the first 3 hours before I can actually do anything.2
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!rant;
A senior front end developer with 8 years of experience asked me today what does 'this' refer to in a function() inside of a property in an object, and why it doesn't work outside of the function!
I wanted to shout FUCK MY LIFE! But I held myself and explained it to her.
Worst part is I still don't qualify for 'senior' in my job title (less than 3 years of experience), hence my lower pay.5 -
Thank you those who tried to help me with my problem but I'm still not the best at this even though I've been doing for quite some time. I'm sorry I used some much of your time earlier also I apologize for calling out @example-user3
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LinkedIn: Exploiting social psychology for fun and profit.
I was reading an excellent post by Kage about linkedin (you can find it and more here - https://devrant.com/users/Kage) a little while ago and it occurred to me the unique historic moment we are in. Never before have we been so connected in history. Never before have we had so great an opportunity to communicate with strangers (perhaps except for sketchy candy vans on college campuses, and tie dye wearing guys distributing slips of paper at concerts). And yet today, we are more atomized than ever before. In this unprecedented era of free information, and free communication, how can we make the most of our opportunities?
The great thing about linkedin is all the fawning morons who self select for it. They're on it. They're active, so you know they're either desperate attention hungry cock goblins,
self aggrandizing dicknosed cretins, desperate yeasty little strumpets, or a managerie of other forgetable fucking pawns,
willingly posting up their entire lives to be harvested and sold so someone can make 15 cents on a 2% higher ad conversion ratio for fucking cilas or beetus meds.
So what is a psychopathic autist asshole to do?
Ruthlessly exploit them by feeding them upvotes, hows-it-going-guys, and other little jolts of virtualized feel-good-chemical bullshit.
Remember the quickest way to network is for people to like you. And the quickest way to make people like you is either agree with them on everything, or be absolutely upfront with everything you disagree on.
Well, they'll love you, or hate you. But at least you'll be living rent free in their head. And that means they'll remember you when you call looking to network or get a referal.
Of course, in principle, this extends to any social media site. Why not facebook? Why not fucking *myspace*? Why not write a script in selenium to browse twitter all day, liking pictures of lattes and dogs posted by the lonely and social-approval-hungry devs working at places like google, twitter, faceborg, etc?
You could even extend this to non-job prospects. Want a quick fuck? Why, just script a swipe-right hack on tinder, or attach a big motherfucking robot arm to your phone, tapping and swiping for hours. Want to make a buck? Want not harvest data on ebay or amazon all god damn day and then run arbitration for 'wanted' classifieds on craiglist?
Why not automate all the things?
The world is at your fingertips, and you the power to automate it, while all the wall lickers and finger painters live oblivious to the opportunity they are surrounded with and blessed with daily.
Surely now that you know, it is your obligation, nay, your DUTY to show the way.
Now you are learned. Now you are prepared. Go forth and stroke the egos of disposable morons to bilk for future social favors while automating the world in ways never intended.3 -
If you are posting a job and you decide to force candidates to create an account on some third party website just to submit a resume, I hope you only get the least qualified people.2
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they say i was a natural at programming. i like it, i understand problems easily and im able to find a solution for it. but so was math, and chemistry. basically anything that has problem solving so i wasn't into programming that much.
until i joined my first competition. man that was an eye opener. we had a deadlock tie with the other team, and there was this one problem that was a tie breaker. sure enough we both was able to solve it. but the judges ruled in our favor because of one thing, i used recursion! man that was fun. the looks on their faces.
and i was hooked on that euphoric feeling. that was my drug. now , a decade or so later, im still addicted to that drug -
Systems guy: this is how you slow down development projects. By tying design to a software development ticket.
Software guy: yeah but that's how you get reminded to do the work and tie a design requirement to the software development effort in the ticket.
Systems: why do I need to be reminded of my design work?
Me: because you're a year behind software and at this point you are just documenting what software has already done?
Sometimes I feel like the design guys don't understand that if they want to be involved in the process they need to NOT keep us waiting until right up against the deadline to give us the design. -
This morning I came across Shakespeare, I've never had such a nerdy laugh in years!
The follwoing is supposed to print "Hello World"
.
Ajax,
Puck,
Act I:
Scene I:
[Enter Ajax and Puck]
Ajax:You fat fat fat cat!
Puck:You is the sum of myself and the square of myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and twice twice myself and the sum of a cat and a fat cat!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat fat cat and thyself and the quotient between myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the difference between thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the sum of thyself and myself and a fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the difference between myself and thyself and a fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
Puck:Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the sum of thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the difference between thyself and twice myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and a fat fat fat pig!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a cat and a fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
[Exeunt]
Source: https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/... -
The life of a normal person is like waking up every day with a zero on the scale of suffering. You did something good — here are -20 points to that scale. Something bad happened — well, here are +10 points. Being a bipolar person, my life is like beginning every day with +500 suffer points. Every day is a devastating uphill battle to just break even.
Why live then?
You can't win. If you have a healthy sleep schedule, do sports and eat healthy, it's still +500 every day. One mistake like fucking up your sleep schedule — boom, you now start at +700.
In Japan, a new breakthrough in psychiatry is happening as they were able to tie bipolar disorder to a HHV6 herpesvirus messing up the operation of Parkinje cells in human brain, unreachable to the immune system because of blood-brain barrier. A nasal spray treatment is proposed. If successful, bipolar disorder could be cured forever.
Until an actual nasal spray is released, I decided to wait because it's a huge bummer killing myself only some three years before this breakthrough.
But if their experiments will never come to fruition and my conventional therapy will not be successful, I will kill myself.
I don't want to live like this.6 -
When non tech client complains about the design of the OS native popups and wants you to fix them...
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Is there any alternatives to Atlassian's Confluence and Jira?
We used to use GitHub projects and wiki, but "the business" wanted a more formalised process and access controls on kanban boards and backlogs.
We started using Jira and Confluence last month, but Jira have been incredibly slow with a horrible interface also Everytime I create a new issue it feels like I'm wasting a lot of time compared to the time needed to setup an issue on GH and add it to a project board, plus the entire team is used to using markdown which doesn't work great on Jira.
I've looked for some alternative but I wonder what you are using out there!5 -
EPiServer Forms is probably the worst fucking thing to ever exist in terms of Nuget packages. I would rather shove an entire daikon radish up my asshole than trying to debug the stupid fucking mystery that code is. Wanna tie into the JavaScript events to handle payment validation? Go fuck yourself - u can’t use any external functionality.1
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Save enough from my current job to give me the buffer to go solo;
and it’s a cliche, but hopefully be making games -
Having to approach your manager and bringing you that you haven't been meeting your deadlines due to being distracted dealing with depression is by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.. If you need help reach out someone is always willing to help!4
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bad APIs lead me to leaving comments like this
```
// we do not know how many pages their may be.
// im thinking of space invaders here, reverse direction and increase speed!
// only we are just adding one and creating an infinite loop that is only infinite until it isn't```1 -
When you're the star player of your team in your final term, but then you graduate and enter the real world and find out how much more you have left to learn...
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Look... As much as I want to believe this... We all know it won't happen...
The tie between iOS and the in house ARM chips is something you can't replicate with just a new piece of hardware...5 -
Did anyone here use sapper and svelte to build a production application? How was the experience overall?
I've been reading about it and watched Rich Harris present svelte and sapper, I like his approach but I'm not too sure about how it work in a production workflow1 -
Rant!
The wilde difference in native support between IE , gecko and WebKit is like difference between a real burger and MacDonald's,
They're both burgers but one will make you happy and the other will give diarrhea and a swollen butthole -
I solved the Monty Hall problem for once and for all! Suckers. Of course a computer can't decide if switching or keeping is the best choice. Even wikipedia states that switching wins. NEVER. And even if that would be the case, it's pure how you arranged the labels to determine which one wins. If everyone actually wrote their own code, the conclusion wouldn't be what it is now. Many people probably just changed their code until that false result comes out or had it at the beginning caused by lack of experience.
Here is a GOOD implementation: https://pastebin.com/dRiTWQpw
It gives a 50%-ish chance on a choice like mathematically is correct.
The problem is in the computer simulations: using > or < to check which choice has won. But actually, often no one has won (it's a tie) after running it x times so you have to filter out the ==.
Then, you get the right results. My first version also had a bias, but i refused to accept it and did spent 45 minutes on the code instead of 15. This is the end result. And no, with double ?: in a printf statement i don't expect a prize.
It was a lot of fun actually, did not expect this from such stupid 'problem'35 -
Powering off my Thinkpad so I can wipe the greasy SHEEN off of the keyboard / trackpad..
Wash hands, repeat.2 -
Being at this a while I start to feel very jaded when we get business trying to tie down our work to release dates based on nothing other than dreams and unicorn tears.
My biggest personal challenge is to try to not let that bleed through to the beginning devs I am trying to help mentor.
Then I realize I really don't give a fuck and business just needs to get their collective shit together :) -
Sometimes when people treat me like a human being I just want to tie them up and push them down so they’re on all fours and just whip them and make them cry7
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Oh Monday how I loath you.
Why can you not allow anything to go according to plan?
Why do things that worked on Friday no longer work on Monday?
Oh Monday ... -
It’s a tie between every Ruby-On-Rails project I have ever seen that has been in production for more than a year...
So much goddamn magic -
There is a table right under the fan on which I put a hot cup of coffee add suger to it. Now comes the good part.
I tie myself upside down with sealing fan right above table. Holding a spoon in one hand. Start the fan with a stick. Throw the stick. Just after speed is steady put the spoon in cup and let it stear.
Drink this coffe upside down.
It will increase productivity by 10000million%.
Cheers:)2 -
When I build something new for the first time.
A year ago I discovered PWA (progressive web apps), web workers and service workers, wanted to build something cool, I sat down at 10AM and started digesting every resource I could find, test, make mistakes, try again, then my eyes started to itch I looked at the clock it's already midnight ! -
Budget cuts are being made and my boss doesn't like me so goodbye I guess to my 90k salary. It might not sound like a lot to y'all but it is to me.3
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how would you guess where any next number is? it's not deterministic 🤔
you'll always have 4 potential spots for each of them with no tie breaker19 -
You can lead a horse to water. You can even tie it down and force water down it's throat, but you can't stop it from vomiting all of the water immediately afterwards.1
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I'm torn between my current boss that gives me freedom and autonomy and my first boss. My first boss taught me development can be fun, especially the hardest parts.
We'll call it a tie. -
In my early programming days I wrote a C++ program to store marks of n no of students but didn't got the output I checked for 3 hours then found that I was storing the data in another integer value and not in the array.
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Is there a good tree view js plugin similar to jQuery.fancytree ?
I found alternatives that would work with react, Vue, etc but I'm looking for a framework free plugin. -
That feeling when you're optimizing your code and comment a small function to compare results, then few hours later you push to production and forget everything about that function.
It aint pretty, nope I can't run away from this one!2 -
Just used perl on my personal project to tie all the tests together. First time using perl, very happy with the results even though I've never used it before. It feels like a cleaner, better shell.
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For today's Valentine's Day I bought my hot blonde gf a rose 🌹 flower, she loved it, and she bought me a blue pack of condoms wrapped up with a blue tie 🎀 with a note "fill my pussy up 🤍"15
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Does anyone know how to preview your code through VS Code I can't view the files at the same time I can only open HTML or CSS or JavaScript by themselves9
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My uncle Kyle works for @creativeMISFITS and he taught me about his coding style so that's what I'm used to.2
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Nokia to resurrect 3110 model!! They have announced 3 other smart phones too. But no android tie up in place. It's a big gamble, fingers crossed for Nokia!
Don't disappoint us!!!2 -
I want to build a code transpiler/ transformer as a side project I looked around but I can't find where to start.
Does anyone have any useful info on this ?1 -
FAQ,
How long does it usually take to ship the dev rant stickers (far east Asia)?
Is it rude to ask for a stress ball for my 300++ post ?2 -
App Review – Zomato 2.0
Some apps are as essential as oxygen by example of https://apps.apple.com/us/app/... . Zomato, for sure, is one of them. If you love to eat outside and you’re not living in a cave, chances are that you’ve already gone through Zomato on the web or used one of their mobile apps. If not – Zomato is the place where you can locate eating joints, scan through their menus, check for home delivery numbers and a lot more than that. If you are diabetic you keep sweets in your pocket, similarly Zomato is something every food-loving person needs to keep in their mobile phones(I agree how PR-ish that sounds but it’s true).
Zomato had recently integrated social features on its website. That was followed by the much needed overhaul of their mobile apps. They’ve also updated their iOS app recently and I decided to give it a shot. Zomato 2.0 on the iPhone is super slick to say the least. The redesign brings a lot of character to the app. The Zomato app is now much more smoother, cleaner and powerful. The added social functionality adds more value to the app.
Design and Features
The 2.0 update completely changes the entire look and feel of the app. Everything from the app’s start screen to restaurant details has been changed. The default menu lets you explore and search eating places. Now there are icons for top 25 restaurants, reviews, favorites and more. The icons have been perfectly placed and it’s very easy to spot what you’re looking for.
Everything is just right. The app is highly responsive and there’s hardly any lag. If any, it will depend on your internet connectivity. Browsing menus is still a breeze and I personally love the way you can toggle between information, menu, photos and last but not the least, the reviews. Everything placed just perfectly to help you make that ultimate make or break decision – to eat or order from here or not?
Social
Everything is getting social. Even the next door Dolly-beauty-parlor apps are getting more social now. Zomato just integrated its social features on the web recently and they’re now a part of their mobile apps. On the iPhone app you need to login to access these social features. There’s a Top Foodies leaderboard that could prove to be a crucial game mechanic for the app. Browsing users’ profiles allows you to follow users. The profile pages tie up a user’s reviews and followers. This is all pretty neat and a part of a major plan at Zomato to take over the world.
With lists, network, user reviews etc. there’s a lot more to the app. I’m hearing that there’s still a lot more to come when it comes to social features on the Zomato iPhone app. I better start following up with people and posting reviews. This just kicked Foursquare where it hurts the most. And with that I’ve lost the little amount of motivation I had to check-in to places on Foursquare1 -
Does anyone know if I can take a CSS file and put it into brackets without loading an external file/dropbox19
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Does anyone have a favorite DNS service they use for their general home / mobile traffic?
For instance: AdGuard, OpenDNS, FreeDNS, Fool, Quad9 etc..
Considering speed, and privacy here.7