The world according to devrant.

It happened.

I wrote "you're missing a tab in your python code" as an answer on StackOverflow.

I was downvoted AND told that I wasn't correct: it was missing 4 spaces and not a tab, according to the python guidelines.

Now, I haven't read them, but my Richard Hendrix fucking intensifies.

Fuck spaces. And if python guidelines talk about spaces, fuck python guidelines too!

Computer programming is now a language according to Texas apparently

['🥚','🐔'].sort();

Now I know the truth ...according to JS.

Chinese app programmer fights product manager for asking the app UI to "change color according to user phone case"

According to the internet so far:

If you dislike Windows, you're a hater.

If you dislike Linux, you're wrong.

If you dislike iMac, well, yeah. That's okay.

Interviewer: Who created JavaScript?
Me: ... Seriously?
Interviewer: Completely

WTF? First time I face that kind of question in an interview... For the record, I didn't know the answer, according to Wikipedia Brendan Eich created JS

Popularity of programming languages according to the DRRDSI (DevRant Rubber Duck Selling Index):

1. JS
2. Java
3. Python
4. C#
5. PHP
6. C++
7. Ruby
8. SQL
9. Swift

Dev: boss, there are some abnormalities and confusion in the client's specifications.

Boss: So?

Dev: Shouldn't we get clear about them and then start coding?

Boss: No need. We assume and code. Then show them to our clients and then ask for their opinions. We will change again according to their opinion.

Dev: ..

A few months later....

Dev: *seeing so many specifications change and realizing now have to refactor a lot of codes* , FML.

My recent failure to build a responsive website according to a template tells me I should have worked with CSS a bit more.

The thing is, I write the type of CSS that passes the CSS validation with flying colors, but doesn't work as it should. Am I a minority(I hate that word), in that?

Now I have to redo the website or I'm not passing the exam. Lovely.

Very worst programing language 10

10. No reason to
9. call any
8. Programing language
7. the worst.
6. Cuz
5. they have
4. advantages and
3. uses according to
2. their philosophy.
1. JAVA

According to my teacher you should better store the ISBN of a book into an int than in a String.

Well according to this we lazy programmers gona live a lot longer!

Thanks for @PonySlaystation for coming up with this idea!

Wrote my first ever Firefox extension. It loads a json list from a server containing domains which, according to the snowden leaks of 2013, are integrated within a US powered mass surveillance network.

If it finds any urls on the page being loaded, it puts a fullscreen red background with a warning text and the links which match the surveillance criteria.

There's no way to continue to the web page yet, will try to add that later on.

1) An increasing number of beards can be observed on the streets.
2) According to Netmarketshare, desktop Linux usage is at an all time high 2.18%.

Coincidence? I think not!

According to my CTO, this is how I look like when I explain our applications to him:

Customer: "I want this."
Dev: "Cool! We can do that!"
*delivers product according to spec*
Customer: "Hmm, now that I see it, I want something else instead.."
Dev: "git reset --hard origin/ifreakingknewit"

At introduction of new class teacher asked which _one_ of the following isn't a programming language:
- Swift
- Pseudocode
- Haskell
- HTML

Took my chance on HTML, but apperantly pseudocode is less of a programming language according to him.

Today I was searching Android docs and found something interesting:

To write Android log statements, you use the android.util.Log class with the following methods:

Log.v()

Log.d()

...

Log.wtf() 😮😮😮

According to Google it seems to mean "What a Terrible Failure".

WTF?!?!?!

How things will be evoluted according to elonmusk:
Car = Tesla
Space = SpaceX
Cyborg = Neuralace
Front end development =

NO FIREFOX AND CHROMIUM, I ALREADY SET THE FUCKING CORS HEADERS CORRECTLY ACCORDING TO THE OFFICIAL FUCKING NGINX DOCUMENTATION. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DISALLOWING CROSS-ORIGIN REQUESTS?!

According to my sysadmin, there is no point in changing our shitty, 20 year old website because technology develops so rapidly, and making it more accessible by Google is overrated...

Recruiter called me again after months because he had an interesting position for me.

Something with 'it consulting' since I was 'into it' 'according to my linkedin'.

Fuck of and die.

*Friend after a date*
Friend : Bro what according to you is a perfect date?

Me :DD/MM/YYYY....
Everything else is just confusing.

Friend:😒

Got another 5 star review on my app, which also, according to Play Console, now has over 300 downloads. Life is good. 😁

Coworker: According to science, people who work with math or computers are least likely to get divorced.

Me: Well that's because they're least likely to get married.

Coworker: ...In order to participate in the study you had to be married at least once

Me: It was a joke, man!

Coworker: Well it wasn't a funny one!

Me: ...it was to me...

I fucking hate working remote jobs.
Currently in Turkey running absolutely shit internet speeds.

Speed is around 0.31 Mbps down and 3.29 Mbps up, ping is around 141ms according to speedtest.net.

It took about 15 minutes to get a test of the speed working.

Stability is about the same as that of the country.

Please take me back to Denmark and my amazing 150/150 connection.

Only one upside: see attached

According to this response I do not exist.

10/10 best out of stock message I've ever seen. "Victim of its own success" 😂
If all goes according to my devilish plan, I will get a new robot!

Server variants according to company though

Boss told me he couldn't raise my salary, since according to him, I was already overpaid. Months later they suddenly outsource some positions, including mine. I got 6 months with payment as a parachute. But I also got a new job that pays $15 000 more each year...!

It's nice to have double salary for 6 months...

:)

An amazing recruiter found me on LinkedIn. According to her cv she has incredible skills such as “Internet Browsers“ and “Google Calender“. Maybe I should give her a call?

App nearing completion. Code tested, everything's working fine. Ready for release.

The client just calls me and tells me that they have decided to turn the app into two separate ones. Should not be a problem, you developers must have some tricks for that, according to the client. Of course, the release date remains unchanged.

Clients!, finally understand that there's no secret button for turning an app into two separate ones.

I'm happy that Twitter employees just up and left when Elon Musk tried to bully them into working 100-hour weeks or have them leave the company. (According to what I read online).

It's not about the downfall of Twitter, but the employees showing the world that they can get better jobs elsewhere, if they are pushed over the edge.

I hope it sends a message to all douchebag CEOs and managers around the world that do the same kinda thing.

What could be worse when Technical Manager forcing you to write SQL Scripts inside C# Code as:

List<String> items = SELECT * FROM table

And not accepting to argue with me as I am a noob according to him

I wrote pagerank algorithm in python for data mining course but my teacher told me to write it in R because according to him python can't be used as data mining tool.

So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?

You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?

You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?

Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.

What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.

According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".

Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr

According to Fast Company, Apple is more innovative than SpaceX or Tesla. Here’s top 20 according to them:

I'd like to see a horror movie called "Exception", where the main character experiences exceptions which should not happen according to the code's logic.

Currently developing an android app that is a clone for an existing iOS app. Sadly all the PMs and POs (the P-M/O fraction) at this firm are somehow iPhone users.
So every time we implement stuff according to android guidelines some PMO comes around and asks: "why doesn't this look/work/smell like in iOS?"
Somedays I feel like crying...

By far the worst project I've ever worked on was a webapp for a high school robotics club. The project manager had worked for a bit in industry, then switched into teaching for quite a while. Apparently the idea that technology changes and improves over time never quite got to him. According to him the industry standard for all websites was pure HTML and Javascript. We didn't even get to use an IDE, nor even Notepad++. We used notepad. I got out quick.

Me: ssl conn cannot be esrablished. Cert is not signed

Sr. Dev/architect: what url are you calling?

Me: dns_name:port

sd/a: yeah, I know that. But what is the url?

Me: *how the f... Did you get 'sr' and 'arch' titles, man???*
Me: why does it matter?

Sd/a: certificates depend on a url. Our LB selects a cert according to a request url

me: *buddy, I like you but I no longer look at you with respect like I used to before today...*

Dev: Can you please tell me why you changed this?
Me: Because we need to handle permissions in the app. The quickest way of doing it, according to the docs, is [insert change log here]
Dev: But we can just check for the user's token.
Me: That's not exactly a permission, because...
Dev: I was only showing the information related to the user according to their token.
Me: I understand. But that means you're filtering data, not authorising users to access it. If a user is logged in, but changes query parameters, they can still access data they shouldn't be able to.
Dev: Whatevs.

Le me then proceeds to try to push my changes (that took the whole day to implement), gets a "you need to pull first" message from git, doesn't understand why, logs onto GitHub and realises dev has implemented their "permissions".

I was the one responsible for making those changes. Le dev was meant to be doing other things.

How do I even begin to explain?

My first JSoup project?
Go to 1000 random rants and see how much they curse!
According to the results (btw I only did 1000 rants) people say "fuck" and "ass" 5.7% and 5.6% of the time respectively, while "shit" comes in third with 3.6%, and "bitch" coming in with a measly 0.2% (yes, I know I forgot to fix the % bug) Anyone surprised by the results? I was kinda surprised with "ass"

Everything is a fucking priority.

According to the management, everything should be done yesterday already.

Gave me a single designer and developer while asking asking me to deliver long term and short term initiatives at the same time.

Morons.

Read an article that said "a successful DDoS attack [costs an organization] about $100,000 for every hour the attack lasts, according to security company Cloudflare"

And while I don't doubt the number, it still should read

"...$100,000 for every hour the attack lasts, according to company selling DDoS protection, Cloudflare"

I got in an argument with a co worker, she says that mass surveillance programs are "none of my business" and I shouldn't care how they operate.

ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE IT IS MY BUSINESS.

According to Google these are the hardest programming languages, guess that brainfuck is just a walk in the park then.

I've always thought I'm a software developer, but not according to these guys T_T

Black Friday fail.

Local online store totally failed last year on BF, so they spent the whole week on news, radio, print ads, newsletter raving about how they upgraded the systems for BF and are expecting double the traffic of last year and are super ready. 60 seconds into BF, site went totally tits up, was not till 01:45 that anyone could access it again, and according to uptimerobot, they were tits up for about 55% of the day.

According to my predecessor, nothing showcases your SQL skills quite like generating the entire page (markup, JavaScript and all) from a single 2500 line query.

CTO 3 months ago:
- You will get a raise after 9 months of work according to your KPI (98%) and bonus (size of one month pay check)
HR today:
- NO

FUCKITY FUCK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I WORKED HARD AT NIGHTS AND SACRIFICED MY FREE UNPAID TIME FOR NOTHING, THANKS

Allo, Siri, Cortana can suck my cock according to rule 34

My coworker is sick so according to "Agile" I need to work on the weekend?

Literally go fuck yourself. This shit doesn't fly in literally any industry but this.

hm..... so there may be another side to rubber duck debugging.... at least according to Scott Adams...

Thanks to @bigus-dickus and @duckWit I remembered how a client during an interview once asked me to change all globes on his webpage (imagine something like attached, just with globes all over the place) to a green palette, because according to him "blue" means being gay in russian and that was the cause for people not hitting the landing page and not signing up anymore.

According to my predecessor, naming variables is easy. You just hang a poster of the alphabet on the wall and start throwing darts. The letter you skewer is your next variable.

If you run out of letters, start again - but dual wield the darts

So according to google domains I just put in a transfer request 5 days in the future... Fuck me I need to learn to contain these powers...

I really like how Opera Mini says it has an AdBlocker implemented, yet the app 'Contains Ads' according to Google. Guess it's not an effective blocker.

A new producer started to pick up where the previous guy had rage quit. He looked at our sprint plan and announced it.

"According to this schedule, by these estimates, to hit our goal we have to somehow all work 27 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next month."

According to all the job postings out these, exposure bucks are pretty valuable. Does anyone know the conversion rate between exposure bucks and Stanley nickels?

My worst "legacy code" experience was when the company I work at couldn't get their heads out of their asses and stubbornly continued to write legacy code. As of this day they are still doing everything according to what was hip around 2004. And they even force me to write new legacy code.

New legacy code: it sounds like a paradox, but this company makes it happen.

Why is it that everytime, as a back-end developer, I want to dive into a simple front-end topic or technique which can perfectly be done in plain JavaScript, I need 27 different libraries and packages according to nearly all tutorials..

It really crushes my motivation and is just ridiculous.

- Why should we give the job to you?
- Because, according to LinkedIn, you are searching for a JS dev for 11 months at least...
(I got the job :))

>starts a new project
>new project is kernel
>clinl.tiff
>implements a big bunch of C++ stl
>wants to implement a FS
>needs ATA-Drivers
>ofuck.vmw
>Writes Ata drivers
>Ata drivers don't work on ACPI systems
>i_want_to_kill_kevin.fossil
>implements ACPI according to osdevwiki
>doesn't work
>decides to read the acpi specs

When project is finished, everything is according specs, and on final review the client says: "everything looks nice! But I would like to change just a few small details. I would like a different design and functionality".

Seriously?!

Real programmer facepalm-

When you argue with a shopkeeper for giving you an expired product because it was dated six months back according to you! Then in between the argument, you realize it follows different date format i.e. dd/MM/yy.
The moment was a real facepalm. 😶

I was recently interviewing a fresh college graduate. According to his resume, he had practically invented machine learning. He eats kaggle datasets for breakfast and was all set to invent a cure for cancer with deep learning. And then, I ask him a simple question. What is 's' in 'https' and he says... "simple".

According to Steam Stats, Ethiopia has downloaded 1.5 terabytes of games in the past 7 days. Madagascar has downloaded 5.2

China is in the lead with 79 PB, followed closely by America with 60.

Damnit! Every time! Our UI Dev asks us to change the API every time he wants something different!

The API is backend -> business logic. You don't change your business according to what fucking color you want on your site!

Sad part is since he's senior I don't want to tell him off

So all these year's i've been living a lie? I thought my current i7 laptop has 4 cores but according to a lot of articles are saying mobile chips only have 2 cores?

Why does Windows always say it has 4 though?

According to Wikipedia my sock is a technical standard for accessing information over a mobile wireless network. Such power my feet possess.
(/◕ヮ◕)/

Is a "forward slash" or "backslash" called the same in RTL languages like Arabic? Wondering about that because of the direction the slash is according to traditional writing.

According to my LinkedIn, everyone is a Project Manager

Intermediate programming exam today(in Java):
5 min before the exam started the guy next to me :"Hey can you tell me what a lambda-expression is? And why do we need streams? "
According to the assignment description you actually had to solve nearly every assignment with lambdas and the stream API.

Sorry mate.

My ISP just called, because I didn't extend my 2 year contract. The reason is that paying 13 euros for 50/30 (Mb) internet when I can get 600/60 from another ISP for 20 euros or 300/30 for 15 euros sucks. Additionally, my current ISP only offers 100/30 at maximum according to their website...
Guess what?
They just offered me 1Gb/100Mb over the phone for a FUCKING 20 EUROS. What???

Ive got a suggestion for this app. When one rants, he has to select whether its a rant, joke, achievement, celebration, (or your wife gave a birth to a baby) etc etc and we can filter them on our "Rants" activity.

And when dfox comes up with algo v3 he can preference different rants according to categories.

A teacher asked for my help in some machine learning project, I told her I don't have a background in ML.

She was working on an application that classified research papers according to the subject.

I said, seems like a basic NER project, but maybe I'm wrong I haven't worked on any ML projects before. But I do have experience with web, let me know if you need help in that.

She says, ML is also web, it's just like semantic web.

How many times do I have explain the rookiees in java developer team, that implementing an interface is not inheritance. You are not actually inheriting any member - variable or method or otherwise. You are just getting a skeleton, according to which you have write your class. THAT IS NOT INHERITANCE.

So MULTIPLE INHERITANCE does not exist in java. Period.

There is no way around it. Stop misunderstanding stuff and passing that misconceptions to newbies.

Welcome to Nigeria (the most religious nation in the world), - all python developers are devilish and will rot in hell! according to this man of God.

You know what I don't like?
Getting dropped into an ongoing project, especially as a replacement for somebody else - looking through the code and realising the code is perfectly fine - except I would do it differently.
Yes, I see why those choices were made. It's up to specs and according to the convention - but it still _feels_ wrong.

Update on the asshole trying to come visit me, according to police he was dead drunk, further look at the offline CCTV he even tried to knock on my backyards glass sliding doors (only accessible by CLEARLY trespassing) and my neighbours saying he was yelling incoherent shit, I got also basically told "we can't do much, because he hasn't hurt nobody nor destroyed anything".

We had a wifi connectivity issue at work and all this guy had to do was unplug the power cable and plug it back in. Dude left the office to find me to fix the wifi issue since according to him, "he's seen me writing that weird stuff (code) on my computer"... And I'm all like..

HAHA! Google just got fined 4.34bn EUR by the EU! According to the EU they forced manufacturers to preinstall their search app and browser. In my opinion, a fine like this is a nice statement, but doesn't really affect a company that makes 111bn US$ per year. I think there needs to be proper taxation for GAFA!
What do you guys think?

Staging

Production

Exact replicas according to git

Of course, production is the one that doesn't work

FUCK I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND FRUSTRATING

Working on future projections for the DevRant-Stats Site.
According to the calculations, I have 10000++ in 3 fucking years...

:/

So, according to my customer, the internal app I just released is "far too aggressive and not overly polite to users".

After querying this the client was referring to validation error messages.

Where I've wrote "Set a payment method before creating the order", the client would prefer it to be ""Please set a payment ...".

I guess it's a fair enough observation, but the client's phrasing made me chuckle :)

The backend people at my old company had 4 files which they all committed code to (they were about 10 people). The only reason they didn't use a single file, according to the lead developer, was that Eclipse could only handle 12k lines per file (or something like that).

1. IDE connected to your brain that does the coding according to your thoughts.
2. Compiling and deployment for your applications take little to no time.
3. Not having to wipe your ass 50 times to make sure it's all clean.

Wtf? What kind of user agent header is that? Why don't you go ahead and insert my fucking social security number in there, Android? According to amiunique, this is literally a unique header ON ITS OWN.

Why does Ubuntu get so much hate on here?

Is it because people believe it doesn’t act according to the spirit of the Linux community (whatever that is) or are their technical reasons?

Posted a question on SO a few minutes ago. It seems like they are downvoting questions before reading them. If after reading the question it appears legit and written according to all the rules - they return the upvote.

Wtf dude...

Today I had a meeting...
It was about a Team having problems with our Tool...
All participants where QA professionals...
(at the very least according to their Job title)
The invite said please come prepared!

THEY WHERE NOT ABLE TO DESCRIBE ONE ISSUE ACURRATE ENOUGH TO MAKE IT REPRODUCABLE

delete unused code according to IDE

unit with context tests now fail

what is a good alternative industry or career instead of software development

How's the week so far you ask?

> I got dumped with unacceptable reason, I cannot swallow that reason

> My boss says I haven't been doing good work (I'm fresh off the boat)

> I've been working alone for 3 hours extra, because my team members are on CL (again fresh off the boat)

> I've been stuck on an issue which is already live since a week, because according to seniors I have to do it.

Personally, I've lost interest in everything and I and being nihilist.

Running SQL Activity Monitor to find inefficient queries. According to legecy team this is how they think they should query SQL 2014 for a customer.

Map of the Internet according to xkdc.

Is it just me, or are there any other devs, that just can't get going with python?
Every time, I try to do something, that is supposed to be simple, the language be like, "Bitch, hold on. I know I'm supposed to be the most simple language there is, but here I am again, to fuck you over. Your welcome.".
According to my friends, its actually just me.

So I have this "Software Engineering" course of this semester.

According to course curriculum we are supposed to taught "how to develop software for some real life problem".

Fast forward to this day. For FUCKING 8 WEEKS WE ARE GONNA JUST DO DOCUMENTATION(SRS, Problem description, features description etc) AND IMPLEMENT WHOLE PROJECT IN JUST ONE WEEK.

BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKING SHIT PROFESSOR....

My Win 10 stopped updating 2 months ago. "Windows update database error" it says. No fix worked, the only thing to do (according to Microsoft assistance) is to reinstall the whole system. Only because i clicked on "postpone" to the last one.

I really miss Windows 7...

Fastest growing programming language according to GitHub

DevRant-Stats Site Update:
Future projections & Live General Section

Added some future projections like SocialBlade, where you can see your score in the future, according to the stats in the last 30 days. Therefore it will only be available after storing the stats for 30 days.

Also made the complete "General" section live now, and replaced "Live Score" with "Devrant++ Member since".
So now the values are updating every second! (Using EventStream so not working in Edge Browser lol idc)

Have fun!
Feedback is appreciated!

So - A && B == B && A ?
Not according to my mother. She seems to think that "eat the rice and I'll give you dessert" is different from "give me dessert and I'll eat the rice"

Ah yes, that's the definition of success according to wget.

My company provides license for Intellij IDEA Ultimate but I've customised my Vim for development according to my convenience so I use Vim instead.

Except for changing variable names across multiple files. IDEA's refactoring is the only thing I am using IDEA for.

According to my university professor a reliable connection(secure connection) and an established connection (which gives ACK) is same......I feel like dropping out

Oh man setting up postfix and dovecot (plus things like rspamd) is a pain in the ass.
But it's worth it, having your own mail server is just quite a good feeling.
Now I just need to find out how to get it to pass the spam filter of Google, despite the server and the DNS zone being well-configured (better than my school's mail server according to tests, but that one still manages to pass. I have no idea why.)

I'm interviewing with the data architect in two weeks' time, a self-proclaimed ninja. The chap has done PL/SQL development on SQL Server 2008 according to his LinkedIn profile. Yeah, okaaay...

I didn’t. I suck at it. That’s why I ended up being a manager. Not that I didn’t try, but according to a scientific test I took in college to figure out why I kept failing my math classes, I’m screwed in the math and logic department. I sure know how to read and write, though, so I guess I have that going for me.

Every fucking time I explain why we should do things according to X and instead of giving arguments I'm only presented with "that won't work here" ...
Every time we are on a hurry because we don't do X ...
Every time we are delayed because we don't do X ...

I get less and less motivated to be here...

Soon they won't hear me saying anything and will keep wondering why everything just melted after I left...

According to many of the rant posts, I am not a programmer.

I wake up 8 in the morning, eat breakfast at home and then get to the office at 9. Work till noon and then enough 1 hour lunch, back from lunch work till like 6-7 pm, have dinner at office then head to the gym workout for an hour to an hour and half and then head home, shower and sleep at 11:59 pm.

Well shit, according to my school’s system, my LastPass generated password isn’t safe enough

Yesterday I had another job interview. This time from home via Skype. Today I was blown off. I was not technical enough according to the company.

This company was working with an ancient cms nobody ever heard of and made Sass sound difficult and new.

Good luck in the Stone Age fellow devs. Make sure you upgrade your pc to Windows 7.

Apparently, rooting can kill you, according to Nokia. Just fucking read the last bullet here, they really said this.

So I was on a conference in Berlin and opened up my laptop running Ubuntu 16.04.
Suddenly a huge sigh from the audience: *uhg* not unity...

Now since I'm usually working in windows and was limited by time I didn't have another option, and Ubuntu has an easy installer.

Now I'm looking into dual booting my other laptop (windows 10) so I want to know what distribution is according to you devranters best?

Currently considering Ubuntu and arch, anything I might have missed?

These are the cons of iOS according to our 6th Sem textbook

According to Javascript, null is a number.

!rant

Just an observation.
According to Stackoverflow's survey, it suggests that developers with more experience are less competitive. I still can't understand this. How can developers loose their interest over time?

Translation:
"According to Xiaomi, the U-Disk (Xiaomi's new USB drive) has UDP technology that prevents damage by splashing and dust."

HOW A TRANSPORT PROTOCOL CAN'T PREVENT THAT?

What's next? "The new notebook has HTTP technology that makes it waterproof."

According to my housemates, I laughed myself to sleep last night. I suppose I was in a good mood...

Why yes, yes I do sort my M&M's and Skittles according to color, then eat them from fewest to most.

My manager asks for help because they can't suddenly edit their shortcuts in Jira. I can't fix it, and it turns out that it's a bug in Jira which was there since last November.

Nobody has even been assigned to the issue for nearly half a year according to Atlassian's own issues page.

Why would anyone even bother to use Jira at this point?

Google announced the alternative search engines it will show to new Android users in the EU, with DuckDuckGo the most frequently offered choice and Bing tied for last place.

According to the report of The Verge : EU citizens setting up Android devices from March 1 will given a choice of four search engines to use as their default, including Google. Whichever provider they chose will become the default for searches made in Chrome and through Android's home screen search box.

One of my cousin started his higher studies in Computer Sciences. He asked me to teach him any web language so I started with JavaScript. After one week, he came to me complaining that according to his C++ professor, JS is a worst programming language. The professor told him not to learn it.

WTH?

I am sick in the past two weeks.
"A virus " according to the doctor.
This cause me to drop performance for about 10%
Feels awful

Today I hit 23.521k steps according to Samsung Health and 20.2k steps according to my smart watch.

20k steps is still an achievement in my eyes and I felt like sharing it for no reason

du says i have 2g free space
df says it's just 20m
and according to lsof, i have no deleted open files
i am doomed

- my hdd

Fuck api docs which are blatantly wrong. Wasted several hours on building an API client with pagination according to the api docs.

Turns out the actual implementation did not follow its own spec / api doc and returns values without pagination. And some objects are not objects but arrays.

I mean, next time I build an API client, I'll just fire a dozen requests on the endpoint, see what it wants and see what I get and maybe guess right what it actually does.

According to my teammate, punctuation and rules of grammar doesn’t exist. This lady raises a PR and you can’t fucking understand shit.

We crack jokes at each other and use profanity at all times. Troll other teams with funny git commits. Our slack channel is filled with weird giphys. Currently the most productive team according to the Chief Architect. How open is your work environment?

According to the report of Reuters : Brazil's Ministry of Justice said on Monday it has fined U.S. tech giant Facebook 6.6 million reais ($1.6 million) for improperly sharing user data. The ministry's department of consumer protection said it had found that data from 443,000 Facebook users was made improperly available to developers of an App called 'thisisyourdigitallife.' The data was being shared for "questionable" purposes, the ministry said in a statement.

What do you guys think about Ubuntu on windows 10, any first impressions?

I wanna try it out coz my new Laptop comes pre installed with 10 and installing Ubuntu is kinda very problematic in high end laptops according to a little research I did.

A new developer started working with us a few months back. Plenty years of experience, both front- and backend.
He was the perfect guy for the job, according to management. Two weeks ago he asked me what JWS Cookie I used to send my requests.
After a few minutes we realized that he meant JWT token.

Said developer is no longer working with us, he didn’t like all the new technology.

According to one of my previous rants, it's been 133 days since I got through the first interview stage at Cisco!

I wonder Cisco, when do you plan on calling back about the second stage?

2017 and I still have to work with Angular 1 because, according to my manager, other frameworks aren't safe for now

So PHP 7.2 according to its creator, is actually faster if you write bad code.

Well im not amused.

So according to Glassdoor, I am null null.

Does any developer here does design work as well as code. I got pulled into it. was expecting a only dev job, according to the job description" but the creative team start handing me InDesign task and Photoshop task with no experience in design. is that crazy or normal for front end developers?

Client A: “What does that little button do? It looks so not fit in though. Can we just remove it?”

Me: “It basically serves as a sort function and to make those data look more tidy when you first input them. Especially when it comes from many sources, it .....blah blah blah.... So it's quite inportant to stay there according to UX basic.”

Client A: “??????????”

Me whispering: “Jon Snow.....”

Client A: “Sorry, what?”

Me : “Noooothing~ let’s talk about the other module shall we?”

Come on guys let's face it, we all price dev according to how fun it feels.

According to people here, ternary operators. I don't care what I'm doing, if I can use a ternary operator instead of an if, get ready for it!
I guess implicit brackets on conditionals and for loops if it's a single line. Anything that saves me typing boilerplate, but it's still readable, I'm gonna do it.

Making this birthday card for 2 hours for a family. My head is already cracking because they want frozen movie design in their poster.

After fiddling the whole poster in photoshop for hours according to their decisions, one of them suddenly came up, changed everyone's mind and said they don't like the current poster and they will start something completely new.

FFFFDUFUFJXKXKXKXKFUDJDXJ

According to SimilarWeb, Bing has more than 1 billion visits each month which means that millions of people do not find what they are looking for...

Someone has to stop this madness!

Rant rant = new Rant();
Rant.InternshipGotten = false;

Apparently I failed to provide enough reason why I would like to do my internship with them.
And I didnt have any affinity with programming according to them.

Im not a great talker assholes. But im good at programming.
How would you even know my affinity to programming? Because I dont have any personal projects running?

The new devRant avatar feature is so cool and there are so many ideas for customization being posted. Maybe at some point our dev community can build and submit custom devRant avatar objects according to devRant specs. I might even try to build a Bernoulli box 😀
Thoughts?

Tired of all those timetables, application, motivational quotes ...
Coded my own assistant : Robo1100

Still full of ifs but properly understands what I mean (I don't have s very wild vocabulary )

Can I call it artificial intelligence?

Some of his features:
- determining current tasks according to date and time
- tracks the task and show you how many percent you've done
- plays different musics according to your mood (if you start nagging he'll play motivational rock and so on)
- does simple calculations for you
-gives you simple informations like time , whether,...
- remind you the events of the day
- reads a rsnfom cool quote at startup
- most importantly speaks with s human voice
-...

Any recommendations?

I've always thought that in order to become a project manager it was necessary a period as programmer (as it was a sort of promotion).
But according to what I read here it seems like a lot of pm have no idea how to/how long it takes to develop software... Am I wrong or what?

Client: "According to the Postgresql Version Support Policy, 9.3 will be expired by September 2018. That's only a few months away."

Me in thought: "Expired? Like a rotten egg? With an expiration date? OK, chill. His English isn't that good. Maybe he meant that support expires since its EOL."

Client: "We need to upgrade so that we can continue using the database."

Me in thought: "Yeah, he really meant "expired" in database too."

GitHub has launched Codespaces : A feature that lets you code directly on the web {as a virtual Integrated Development Environment (IDE) on the cloud}.

According to the Github Blog: Earlier, to contribute to a project you would need to make a pull request and set up the environment on your local machine according to the requirements of a project. With Codespaces, you don't need to do that anymore. As soon as you click on the code button, the website sets up the environment in seconds.

In addition to Codespaces, GitHub is also launching Discussions : A forum-like feature that lives under your project that allows others to engage with you and other contributors.

Code scanning : With code scanning enabled, every git push is scanned for new potential security vulnerabilities, and results are displayed directly in your pull request.

I was always a bit confused by the naming schemes in official python libraries. So I decided to lookup the official naming conventions, according to PEP 8. Lo and behold, the very first sentence:

> The naming conventions of Python’s library are a bit of a mess [...]

For the guys familiar with 3D printing.

Does your slicer also give you time estimates that are completely off? I'm printing something that would take 10 hours according my slicer. Started it at around 10 AM and its 1AM now and still printing. Halfway during the print I increased the printing speed to 150% because it was way to slow.

Is it just me or are the estimates completely off at each print and the longer the print takes the less useful the estimates are.

Any advice?

95% of people use only 5% of the capabilities of Microsoft Word. The 5% that do know it’s capabilities use a different piece of software instead. According to statistics I just made up.

Helped my electronics teacher with a basic MATLAB code in beginning of the semester, she awarded extra 2 marks at the end to acknowledge it.

All I did was google the error and apply fix according to first link.😂😂

According to the Misfit App I haven't slept in a week or so...

And this happened today:

While on ssh session, this guy restarted network manager. According to him "his Facebook page wasn't showing him recent feeds".

I've been fighting with my xmlrant.com hosting provider for a good several days now regarding enabling web deploy for my account.

According to their screenshot it all works, according to my various attempts still getting either 404 or 401 with the same login / server details!

So frustrating... It almost looks as though same authentication works differently for them locally and for me externally... Maybe domain name needs to be in FQDN format... Or smth else... Either way this will probably end up with them saying fuck off, all is working on our end.

And as well it might - it just might be my incompetence... *self-doubt creeping in*

But it's still frustrating nevertheless.

So far I need to settle for unreliable FTP deploy, which introduces big overhead as always copies entire deployment folder, even is only a few files are actually changed.

*Le sigh*

The long talk about the site's design and updating it according to the recent events...
Turned out the client wanted to add the snowflakes on the site.

my job fucked up.

I thought i had x amount of (paid) holdiays left (according to the online platform) so I took them for december. they were approved and now the "human resource" person double checked it and apparenlty it was a technical fault.... They got changed to unpaid holidays without checking in with me...

Is that legal?? Bunch of clowns

Where do I request a new word to English dictionary? Apparently, template is now tempalte according to my fingers >_>

(Yes, another one of these)
Can someone please explain why android studio (including emulator, but still) plus a couple of firefox tabs and windows 10 occupy the ~8.7GB of RAM that are 74% of the 12 gigs I have? Especially since summing up the ram in use by applications according to task manager makes it look like only 3gb. Is Android Studio using some dark magic to conceal its RAM usage? What the hell!

I don't care about God's existence but somehow I'm meeting the deadlines always. It's a new thing for me.
I have stopped paying attention to my work due to interviews and somehow my work performance is getting better and better each day.
All I needed was to work less and give estimation according my mood each day.

Started testing my most recent side project today... Renaming 1.1TB of movie files according to proper naming conventions over a 100Mbs network. Been running for 11hours already and not even a quarter of the way through

Mine and @jacoKotze's final exams for the year (maybe for a while too) are finally starting today. Up first: programming! The most ~complicated~ subject according to our classmates. (Did you notice the sarcasm?)

C# events and delegates, file streams, and LINQ are the "new" content next to the tests where we did exception handling and inheritance.

Some news articles are so dumb! If you ever hear a headline end with "according to science" please stop reading and call a therapist. Seriously, some people don't deserve so many people to listen to them.

I need to link two APIs such that data sent on one API gets processed and it hits a second API with the processed data.
The first API needs to format the data and decide according to data format which second API needs to be used. I checked Zapier and it's working but it is not exactly what i need to do. So are there any options other than setting up my own server?

Setting the deadlines according to the hours I actually think it's going to take to finish a project

What is a nerd according to you?

According to my family, I make the machine talk to the other machines and the website. They don't understand how it can take so long to get it right, when I am dealing with protocols over two decades old 😋

Samsung, for blinking while I'm playing on PS4 (according to the Samsung forums it's common problem with some models) at work. You want a few minutes break? Let's turn screen black for few seconds every minute.

Poor specifications are the worst..
I developed an application for a client of the Company i work at.
Everything done according to what i was told, but since they cant keep/remember the specifications we agreed upon, i keep getting contacted about stuff that does not work. And everytime its because they changed something and is now not using the program as intended... anyone been in this situation?
i mean i account for the hours spent modifying, but it pisses me off..

I love Java, but whoever thought the set of Big numbers were a good idea, fuck them! My co-workers starting using them, setting a precedent. I tried to compare it to 0, the value was 0.00. totally different!(according to the BigFloat in Java)

I'm going to do my first internship in a month. I am 22 yo.
Am I too old for the first job experience according to you? Because I actually feel so...

“Netflix lowers quality on all content for a month - to prohibit internet from crashing, according to Variety”
- push notifications from Swedish newspaper.
I doubt that Netflix could cause the internet to crash...

Me: Why can't we use WCF according to standards (even though my team has been using it anyway?

Him: Because we could not figure out how to implement it. o_O

Help me please!

There are tools i use more often, but a place in my heart is reserved for ILSpy.

It shows IL code as c# code and it helped me so much at understanding how components work.

Best moment was when a support guy from a company told me stuff that wasn't correct according to the code...

...no need to tell him. Hope it stays unencrypted :-D

A file that I had copied from the company network drive into my own. VS Code to edit the content according to a tutorial provided. IDE doesn't work with the given file, dependencies not resolvable, so let's troubleshoot. Open the file in question inside the IDE, the file contents are those from the tutorial?? Turns out I didn't edit the file on my own system but on the network drive. At least it wasn't a critical file. 🤦

According to product owner, solution is modern and cutting-edge because it is written in .NET
For her it doesn't matter that application is written in ASP.NET 2.0 with VB here and there.