Client: This works correctly, but I don’t like the code.

Me: What exactly do you not like?

Client: There are barely any lines of code. You need to add more to make it better.

I...I don’t know what to say.

:D sorry, I don’t know who’s author

Part of my job involves speaking with users on the phone and I really don’t mind it except for THESE PEOPLE:

Me: Hi! XYZ Co. this is Tawzer!
Them: Hi Tawzer this is blah blah I need help with the website I just can’t figure it out!
Me: Okay! Let me ju-
Them: Yeah you know I’ve been struggling for hours with it I really don’t have time for this.
Me: Oh I imagine! What’s your-
Them: Well I was gonna try and get everything done today by 3 but with all of this tech stuff going wrong I just don’t know...
Me: That sounds frustrating, can i get your-
Them: Is this going to take long??
Me: Nope! I just need to know your-
Them: like I said I just really don’t have time for this!
Me: ........ What’s your-
Them: well I-
Me: WHAT’S YOUR USERNAME
Them: Uh I don’t know can you look me up? I didn’t know I’d need that.
Me: 👩🏻‍💻

Me to my friend into coding : Hey! I’m finally learning to code at university!
Friend : Nice! Never Forget array start at 0. Which language are you learning?
Me: Matlab
Friend : I don’t know you

*has a great company name idea*
*tries to register domain*
*domain taken*
*looks at whois*
*i already own it*
i don’t know how to feel

I don’t know what the peeps over at avocode are smoking but it must be some good stuff to come up with a unicorn avacado...

Never question the management. They don’t know the answer either.

Any rubik’s cube fan?
I ordered a rubik’s cube to help me when I faced a bug since I don’t know how to use the rubber duck

I don’t even know the word epiphany

I don’t know who to give credits to but I found it around somewhere. Just wanted to share.

Me: Hey Windows, I would love to use my Bluetooth headphones! Could you please turn on the Bluetooth?
Windows: Nope
Me: And why exactly?
Windows: I don’t know
Me: Then what I suppose to do?
Windows: Turn on Bluetooth
Me: Dude, but you can’t turn it on
Windows: I know
Me: So what the hell I suppose to do?
Windows: Maybe restart the computer?
Me: I’m downloading something man!
Windows: I don’t care

So I restarted it

Went to an interview for the position ‘PHP Web Developer’. Interviewer scans through my CV for 2mins and then starts the interview.
Interviewer: Do you know Java?
Me: I know Java but I don’t have any professional experience
Interviewer: Do you know Hadoop?
Me: No. I’ve never worked on it
Interviewer: Our company works on Hadoop hence you should be able to work on that after joining.
Me: I thought this is a PHP web dev position.
Interviewer: Of course. But you will have work on various other things too!
Me: I don’t think I want to become jack of all trades. Thanks for the opportunity!
I got up and left the interview...

JSX is ugly

Sorry if there’s not enough context, I don’t know what to put there

*gets called by recruiter*

R: “We have a job in IT for you at one of our biggest clients”
M: “Okay, what exactly would I be doing?”
R: “Uh I don’t know, we haven’t received an actual job description”
M: “.... seriously?”

They don’t even know

!rant

Girlfriend decided she wants to learn to code, and I am honestly both excited to teach her, but also nervous; Teaching something is a good way to find out just how much you don’t know.

I don’t know what’s worse:
1) The dev that whitelisted .jpg and throws an exception when .jpeg is used.
2) I’m having to educate business users how to rename a file.

“Can’t you just open up my iPhone right now and check what’s wrong with it??”

My response: “See, you already know what to do! Since it’s so easy, why don’t you just do it yourself?”

My god people = shit...

“The *insert website here* isn’t working, I need you to fix it”

- Everything’s good on our end, it’s their end that needs to be checked.

“Why can’t you fix it...!?”

Oh... I don’t know, perhaps it’s because I don’t fucking work for them you cock munch!!

I don’t get paid enough to deal with stupid fucking people. Where the FUCK is your common sense?

I work for “X”, THAT means that if something is wrong with “Y”, I have NO control over it you cock breath having fuck stain.

That’s like ordering tacos from McDonald’s and getting pissed off because they look at your like your mother should have swollowed... NO SHIT!

Client: ‘A customer called and said that the checkout is broken.’

Me: What was broken about it? It’s functioning as expected for me and other orders.

Client: I don’t know but we need it fixed by tonight.

Don’ t be afraid of saying “I don’t know”. It is a sign of strength, not weakness.

This could be a repost.

I don’t know.
I don’t care.

Enjoy.

Execs: “We know the business, we should do this”.

IT: Eh, data shows the opposite though...

Execs: We don’t need data, we just know.

IT: Dafaq!?

Print “Hello, World!” in a language you know (don’t repeat any) ⬇️

I don’t know who recommended this... but I GOT FREE STICKERS 😜

If I flag a bug on your PR don’t fucking do this:

if (bugOccurs()) handleBug()

Fix what is causing the bug, don’t bandaid it.

Manager: wElL yOu NeEd To ExPlAiN tO tHeM eXaCtLy HoW tO fIx It, hOw ArE tHeY sUpPoSeD tO kNoW?!

Dev: …

If this doesn’t foreshadow what’s going to happen at my current job, I don’t know what will.

!rant

Advice
[1] Don’t panic! All will become clear in time.
[2] You don’t have to know every detail of C++ to write good programs.
[3] Focus on programming techniques, not on language features.

just read in "A Tour of C++11" by Bjarne Stroustrup

It's not just true for C++, that's true for everything

Programmer: My code doesn’t always work, but when it does... I don’t know why.

(L)user - Is Youtube blocked?

— I don’t know, have you tried it...?

(L) - Well no, but I just wanted to ask before trying it.

Are you kidding me?!

2nd round of the interview, we talked kinda a lot, but I don’t know if I answer well to the question

Worst thing in IT you can do is pretend to know what you’re doing when you don’t.

All seems harmless until that person starts resolving git conflicts….. 💣💥

I just got this in the mail. Must have bought the MEAP and forgot about it!

Super cool....

But mostly completely terrifying.

It’s like the book of everything I don’t know.

Actually the worst fucking developer experience is meeting those all knowing people who think they know everything but actually they even don’t know how the fucking tools they’re using every day are written and how they work.

Those people that think when they installed library it should do everything how they imagined to and don’t fucking bother to debug problems and create pull requests if it’s fucking buggy.

Those fucking ranters who moan about something they don’t understand.

Those fuckers who think if they understood what A*, Dijkstra, graph algorithm is they’re smarter then others.

No you fuckers you’re dumb as fuck cause instead of explaining it to someone you just blame people for not knowing “obvious shit”.

All those fucking ignorants I am fucking writing about you.
You either start support each other or fuck you people.

Decided to go through my LinkedIn connections and disconnect from people I don’t know who don’t go to the same coding academy (we’re a pretty tight-knit bunch).

Went from 905 connections to 276.

Husband: “Please tell me you kept recruiters.”

“.... oops?”

I hate how disruptive meetings are, I was coding and now I don’t know what the fuck I was trying to do.

Don’t know if I should be worried that I received an invite to a 1-on-1 meeting with the company CEO…

I unfriended every person at work on my Facebook except 2. I don’t know how I let my social media become so open to folks I work with. 😒

Does anyone else usually feel a bit homicidal towards someone(replace with boss or client) who doesn’t know a thing about what you do but constantly critiques your work?

Client: I don’t like how it looks, put some more design on it.

What does that even mean ????!?!

"We know about as much about software quality problems as they knew about the Black Plague in the 1600s. We’ve seen the victims’ agonies and helped burn the corpses. We don’t know what causes it; we don’t really know if there is only one disease. We just suffer — and keep pouring our sewage into our water supply." - Tom Van Vleck

You dumb bitch. I will get to your fucking low level ticket when I’m done doing more important shit. How do you have a job if you don’t know how to use fucking excel?! GOOGLE IT you fuck!

Our new trainee started working couple weeks ago and the amount of whining and complaining when something doesn’t work is driving me insane!

I don’t know if he realizes that his job is to also find solutions to fix those issues..?

I was noticing some slow network and it was dropping some connections. So I booted up my old XP install with Java 6 so connect to the ASA 5505, I see it’s logging max connections of 10000 has been reached.

Fine, I recon it’s my colleague backing up his entire machine to Google Drive.
Because when he shut it off, n connections dropped.

I check back in the log, and I see there’s 4-500 connections happening per second, I think WTF and check the source IP. Lots of random IPs from Vietnam, all going to a Windows2008 Server using rdp.

(I didn’t setup our servers, so I didn’t know which server it was accessing)

Ask my other colleague, he told me it’s a windows server from an earlier project that’s not used anymore.
I rdp into it, see there’s users logged in from around the world, and I immediately do a shutdown.

Would you look at that, connections per second dropped to about 50.
I guess that server isn’t going back online ever.
And I now need to ask management for a budget to update our network infrastructure, because the old ASA 5505 is begging me to die.

TL;DR gg previous employees didn’t shut down old servers and left them open to the world to enjoy

Me: Overcommunicate…

Them: we don’t need that kind of detail. We all get it.

Me: Undercommunicate…

Them: why so quiet? Does he know what he is saying?

can’t fucking win 😡

I can’t tell what’s cheap anymore. This salary is making me numb and I’m forgetting my low income roots. I saw a video of a girl who rented an apartment in Seoul Korea for $500.

Is that cheap? I don’t know??? Don’t ask me???

"Redesigning somebody else’s product is always a tricky business. You don’t know why they made the decisions they made. You don’t have the data they have." - Lukas Mathis

Worst: Getting fired for talking too much shit about how the higher ups don’t know how to run a company.
Best: Getting hired at a way less stressful job that pays 50% more and realizing the last place was toxic as fuck.

If body { background: red; } isn’t the first thing you do to test a CSS file is included, then I don’t know what kind of developer you are.

As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts

1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying

2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you

3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.

4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth

After 30 years in IT industry, I am not sure if I'm a novice or an expert. I don’t know anything.

"I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

I don’t know how it’s possible I use nearly 300 GB wifi on one day without being home.... This can’t be correct at all. Other days around 30/70 gb and not home 296...

Don’t know that I’ve seen this posted here yet. Either way, the Google devs definitely have a sense of humor

Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff

*At a dorm gathering*

Me: I think I’m gonna head back to my room, I don’t know what to do here

Friend: Come on, meet people! Socialize!

Me: *sighs* Fine

You know you’re a nerd when...

I do believe, genuinely that “I don’t know” is sometimes an acceptable answer. If you don’t know, you don’t know. I appreciate the honesty.

But at the same time

I don’t know how much longer I can take “I don’t know” as an answer from my boss when I ask about critical business things HE tasked me with, or things relating to career development and maximizing my time with this company.

Do I need my boss to have all the answers on company revenue? No.

Do I need my boss to at least have an understanding on wtf is going with projects when my priorities get changed mid-project for the 4th time? Hell yes.

Don’t know if this has been posted yet but...

My girlfriend is really depressed and wanna kill herself
I’m so don’t know what to do

I keep seeing comments like “This should be on spotify” under youtube videos. Guess what — I download them with youtube to mp3 converter, drag n drop them into apple music, and boom, it syncs to my phone. They live among apple music-native tracks. They don’t eat up icloud space (I don’t use icloud), and they don’t disappear when apple music subscription expires. I don’t know any music streaming service that has everything in hi-res or lossless and allows that.

Am I the only one who thinks monitors turned to portrait looks dumb and can’t possibly be more useful? The number one reason people give when I ask is that they can fit more code on the screen. I don’t know about you but I don’t have the ability to glance at an entire screen of code in portrait or landscape and understand it immediately.

If you’re writing in Python and you find yourself in dependency management hell and you don’t know about pipenv, consider this a friendly PSA:

pipenv is your friend.

!rant
I was added to a private Trello board today, of a company that I’m not a part of.
I don’t know if I should mess around with their boards and move stuff around, just leave the board, or better yet, relieve devs of their assigned tasks.
😆

I don’t know but I am getting lazy to do repeated tasks daily, So I found out this :/

I don’t know if I have dyslexic hearing but I’m pretty sure I do.

I’m in school and overhearing a conversation about indenting lines for something. The software I heard was “Microword Soft.”

I’m slowly going crazy...

Do less development and more living. I’m tired of all of it. I need a career track change. I don’t know how anyone can keep up with all of it.

You don’t hate X, you hate the word “X” because of a single bad experience with it on an early stage of your path.

You don’t know X because you banned it early and never learned it. The only thing you see is its bad part. Everything has its bad part.

The fact that X has bad apologists doesn’t mean that X itself is bad

I don’t know what the fuck is going on here in Limburg (province in Belgium) but companies seriously need to stop using Comic Sans

I see it on banners, trucks, flyers and just about everything .. it seriously triggers me 😩

"I don’t think of myself as an artist. I know some designers consider themselves such, but I can’t. This is not to say that I don’t hope that our work has artistic merit. Anyway, I never know how someone could proclaim himself or herself to be an ‘artist’; I think it should be a designation best left for others to bestow, much like ‘genius’ and ‘asshole’." - Alexander Isley

Meme isn’t mine! I don’t know who made it though, so sorry if it’s a repost.

I hate it when recruiters write something like "I now that you don’t like recruiters, but maybe you like this offer."

WHEN YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE YOU THEN JUST STOP TALKING TO ME!

This Book....

Before doing any systems programming you should definitely read this book... most people think they know what they are doing but in fact they are completely clueless and the worst part is you don’t realize how clueless you are... you don’t know what you don’t know nor do you know how much you really don’t know.. a most people are part of this group, including myself lol.

Computers are much more than a bunch of CPUs, buses and peripherals. (Embedded folks realize this). But this goes beyond embedded this is a systems book, on architecture of computers in general.

Learning only java and the java/C# python and the others SDK/Api and spending your life with horse blinders for what’s going on below only sets you up for failure in the future, and when you that point it’s gonna be a shocker. Could be tomorrow could be 20 years from now, but most people with those horseblinders get to that point and have that “experience” no avoiding the inevitable lol.

I really enjoyed this book in their quantitative approach to teaching the subject. Especially understanding parallelism and multi core systems.

Found out two of our best engineers put in their notice. They both have shaped the culture here and I don’t know what it’s going to be like without them.

The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.

Apple’s copy paste from your phone keeps ass biting me. Most of the time my clipboard has some obscure porn link that I don’t need to accidentally paste on a live share session. There are now dozens of people that know too much about me

So I made a message board and posted it here at devrant

Now there’s a user with username Ass and I don’t know what to do about that situation…. I don’t want to remove him from user, but all he posts is ass…

Fuck me

Fuck.

I don’t know why, but I can literally call another Arduino and tell it to load sata from a fucking SD card but can’t show the word “MEM” on my SPI-controlled screen... what the fuck

I started writing a basic translator for a language I invented. I’m currently stuck in my code, not because I don’t know what to do, but because I have to change a few endings in my language 😭

We have “adopted” Agile as our development process. Now I will be honest that I don’t know everything about Agile because I am very new to developing things in a professional setting. But the person who has been the advocate of Agile always starts his sentences with: “Whatever I have read about Agile..”

You can understand why I don’t get a good feeling/confidence regarding this adoption strategy. Things haven’t changed, just the presence of words like “DevOps”, “Agile”, etc has increased in the morning meetings.

The most scary stuff when changing jobs is not the fear if the code is spaghetti or not. It’s onboarding and how the company expect new devs to learn the domain.

When I joined the company I am working on, they did not have at all documentation in regards to domain knowledge. I had to ping devs who have been with the company for years so they can explain to me. Product Managers are useless. They can explain the ticket but cannot point me in the codebase and DB fields that that ticket needs to touch.

They would say to me “Ask what you don’t know “. MF, I don’t know what I don’t know. How am I supposed to come up with questions?

Cherry on top are JIRA “Stories”. It’s title and 1 sentence and it was expected of me to do the discovery.

Fast forward, there are still things that I am learning. I work in an industry that is very complicated and has a lot of information to take. I don’t get burned out of code and tasks. I get burned out of trying to understand my tickets and connect them with the code and DB.

"Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half." - John Wanamaker

Have you ever read someone code and think that you don’t know coding?

Took me an hour and a half to realize why my function wasn’t returning anything that made sense.

Forgot to put a negative sign in front of my negative bound.

Took me an additional hour and a half to solve for all the edge cases.

Relatedly, I should learn to sleep more.

Also, kind of proud of my notes application, but the tables go all funky in mobile and my CSS wizardry is .... not even amateurish.

I am so tired, I literally almost *signed* this.

Well I feel like an idiot thanks to my IT teacher. This guy, this fucking guy thinks that we’re seeing computer for the first time. He’s literally saying “You see this black bar on the bottom? That’s taskbar.”. It’s like he’s teaching 7 years old childs 😤
But the worst part is my class mated don’t know such basics! They don’t know how binary code works, what is motherboard, how to login to school domain on Windows.

But on the flip side, they look at me like at the God 😏

If you’re a frontend developer but you don’t know when to use -, when to use – and when to use —, you’re not a frontend developer. You’re a monkey.

I don’t know what’s so attractive about this bad boy released ten years ago, but I just… want it? By the way, it runs on x86.

I don’t know what’s the point of returning the office is we just all sit in the same room on Zoom

learning about some rigging, meshes and animation when you don’t know how to draw

Time for this big angular website...
Where do I start....? Omg I don’t know anything

Best boss is my current boss(es). They don’t breathe down my neck, no micromanagement, and basically let me outsource anything I don’t want to do or don’t know how to do. I work 100% remote on my own schedule (except for a few core hours) and every time I ask if they have any problems with my work or feedback for my improvement they say they couldn’t be happier. If I make a mistake, they don’t rake me over the coals and they just let me handle the problem.

I’ve been waiting over 20 years for a job like this one. Why can’t it be this way for everyone?

I have coded Redux
But I don’t know Redux
What Redux
Why Redux
I don’t like Redux
Fuck Redux
Can someone tell me
How Redux

I don’t know if this job application question was to troll the applicant or the HR was being serious:

I don’t know exactly what problems software companies are trying to solve but from some time I started thinking that those are no longer people friendly related problems.

I get it. Hooks prevent code repetition. But personally I hate them. I don’t know why. I just don’t like writing them. Maybe it’s because I like writing “this”. Weird, right?

Life begins when you bring down production and don’t know how to fix it

What’s your best answer to “how long will it take you to find and fix that bug?”

It drives me fucking nuts!
“I don’t know (ffs), could be ten minutes, could be ten weeks.” - that’s by default right know, but that’s not always appropriate.

You guys have maybe analogies that managers understand ?

Person 1 to me: Website C needs this update.

Me: I don’t maintain that site. I only maintain websites A and B. I don’t know who does maintenance for your site.

Person 2 to me: Website D needs this update.

Me: I only maintain websites A and B.

Person 3 to me: Website E needs this update.

Aaaahhhhh 😫😡

IBM makes the ABSOLUTE shittiest products. It doesn’t matter what it is. They just don’t fucking try. They don’t try anymore. I don’t know if they ever did. I am convinced that 99.999999% of the world’s problems are because of IBM’s shit. War? IBM. Famine? IBM. Gun violence in America? IBM. The BM has to stand for Bowel Movement because that’s all they are. They’re fucking shit. And you can disagree with me. I don’t fucking care because I’m right and you’re wrong. IBM. Is. Fucking. Shit.

I don’t know why, but until now there’s been nothing to rant about (at least in my private life).

Crazy excited for ARM MacBooks though

I don’t know what to say

What’s one thing (big or small) you still don’t know or understand in software development and still don’t give a fuck.

Mine: Bitwise operation

Spent half the day trying to make something work. It wasn’t working before I started and I wasn’t making any progress. I don’t know why my changes weren’t working. So I yanked out everything I changed and put it back the way it was before I started. It works now. I don’t know why it works. I give up. 😂

Don’t ring me up all nasty asking why these other domains that you never told me about don’t “work”... and you don’t have dns access ‘cos you don’t know what it is and I need to speak to some geezer from another company that you fired. FUCK OFF, now I have to do some whois fishing to find out the shit you are blaming me for.

Anyone have success dealing with nondevs and explaining the “zone” and to not interrupt if I’m programming and would like to share their techniques? I’m the only developer in the company I work for and all my coworkers/bosses don’t get it and even give me grief about using headphones in the office. I’ve actually gone into vacant offices off the open floor plan to try and program uninterrupted, but I don’t know how long I can keep that up without catching flak.

Okay after reviewing all my options. There are fucking no resources I can use to teach myself ASP.NET (Core). The official docs don’t give information as to how or why you should do something, and everything else is either not the same version or there’s differences in the versions project files such as Startup.cs just as an example. So it’s very confusing to follow along with tutorials or whatever it is because I don’t know what the differences do because backend is still really new to me. And I want to know what all is happening and why.

It’s nothing against ASP.NET, ASP.NET Core just the tutorials and resources and documentation for it. Although I’m open to recommendations.

Okay okay, who really uses vim? I can barely finish vimtutor.

It’s dope but I don’t know if I could see myself doing any sort of web development efficiently on it.

Seems like it would take a solid month to be able to zip around.

I bet we have people working in the same office that don’t know that they see each others Rants😅

I’m just new here...
Don’t know why I made an account here, just to read a single post, but yeah...

I’m a big Pokémon fan by the way...

Family... I respond with song title:
Boulevard of broken dreams.

Our paths don’t cross anymore. I don’t know why. I don’t want anything from them cause I know the consequences (maybe that’s why). I am not missing them and they’re not missing me so I think it’s a win win situation.

I still don’t know how to code

What do you guys think about people who call themselves programmers after learning few technologies from Onlinecourse’s . I don’t want to call someone programmer who doesn’t know very important and useful concepts called data structures and algorithms.

Stakeholder: The orders aren’t importing from our order systems into our fundraising systems correctly. Gifts are showing last year’s codes. Do I restart the system?!

Me: Dude, I don’t know. My only responsibility here was to update the website’s config with the new codes you gave me. I did that. The correct codes for the orders are being sent to the orders system and that system is receiving the orders correctly. I know nothing about the configuration between the orders and fundraising systems.

Plus, y’all should have done testing before you ok’d my deploy. Don’t go looking to me to know someone else’s job. Y’all should have especially done testing since the person who’s the SME resigned months ago and there’s been no one to replace him yet.

What the fck is CI/CD?!! Hmmm 🤔 I don’t know, but it sounds trendy so might as well pretend to know it to sound cool.

i don’t know what docker is and at this point im too afraid to ask.

i read an explainer on it every few months. i’ve used it a couple times. still don’t know what it does.

“it’s a container!” okay.. so is my tupperware. it has beans in it. what’s your point.

Why don’t you like sharing your salary with coworkers? I tell people exactly what I am paid if the conversation comes up. It helps to know where you stand, i.e. if you’re being under paid or if you should ask for more in the next review cycle.

It’s funny cause I don’t use GitHub much and don’t know git... yet. So basically I don’t understand all those git jokes. I only used GitHub a few times, and it was without the desktop app (which I find fucking stupid since you need to “clone” everything....

Me: This software is so expensive!! I don’t have that kind of money!

Friend: Yeah I know, and it’s pretty much impossible to pirate! *awkward laugh* Not that I would know...

😂

I was finally able to fix this other persons code when I accepted the fact that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing

It’s not funny when you don’t know how your code works.

Project manager has cancelled every meeting for the last 3 months. Starts today’s meeting with “I don’t know what we are going to meet about. Does anyone have anything?” While the Product Backlog just sits there, begging to be reviewed.

Is it weird to try to find the perfect girl by writing a script that finds out what person has most in common with me by searching through all fb / instagram pages I follow and tracking a score for all the other people that follow the same pages?

Just installed windows on my Mac.

I don’t know what I’ll do next, install Cygwin on Windows I installed??? 😑

In my experience, any BE dev or old architect/lead programmer that says they “can do frontend” does shit like writing Ajax calls in script tags directly in the html. They are the ones who add style attributes directly in html. They are the ones who google how to center a div and they still use float positioning because all of them are old, arrogant BE devs who get caught in a single framework who convince themselves they are an expert. They can’t give any good UX advice. They don’t know how to use a screen reader. They don’t know what WCAG means. They don’t constantly keep up to date on what browsers are supporting and what’s being released in the unstable versions. They don’t know what a web component is. They don’t know what a closure is. They don’t know anything about optimizing web perf metrics. They couldn’t tell you what web crawlers look for. They couldn’t tell you anything about design principles and anti-patterns. They don’t know how to manage a web application that will be seen by millions AND keep it nice, shiny, and refactorable on the code side. What do they really fucking know? how to write an MVC app? How to connect APIs and integrate code that other people wrote? I do full stack all day and writing anything not-client-facing is super easy.

Take that stick out of your ass and get over yourself you asshole. You haven’t written anything close to amazing even though you constantly act like you’re a god-tier programmer and your shit doesn’t stink.

Hit the books like the rest of us you fuck.

The Frontend is anything but fucking easy.

I lost all motivation to code today and I don’t know what to do now

Write code.
Earn money.
Try to stay focused....

I don’t know - maybe I will try to make a facebook game that sells some virtual crap.

The problem is I either need to learn how to draw or pay someone to do it.

I am struggling with lack of knowing decent graphics designer for couple of years now.

I even started to learn drawing cause I don’t know anyone who can help me.

Well we’ll see.

Do you guys version pre-release projects (Beta, Alpha) as for instance “Beta 0.9”, or “Beta 1.9”? I’m asking because I don’t know which one seems more clear

I didn’t know Python so they made me go into the (cold) server room and fiddle and plug in wires to boxes. Don’t think I actually learned much.

If we were talking - and then all of the sudden, I don’t talk to you anymore... it’s probably because you ignored my advice and chose to go to an especially bad boot camp. Now - that’s fine! But the reason I’m not talking to you is because I just don’t know how to say anything positive about your terrible decision and the terrible school... so - I’m just not saying anything at all.

Customer has design review for big project I’m working on, have to sit with someone who isn’t a developer and explain my code.

Cunts, cunts, cunts.

If you don’t understand or know about code maybe you shouldn’t be a code reviewer.

Am I the only one who hates Java but really likes C#?

I don’t know why, they’re basically the same thing, one is basically just a Microsoft clone of the other

Why the fuck don’t people add their job titles on Slack!!! You’ll get a random message or bug report and you’ll have to go back to Bamboo Hr to know what team the idiot work in.

I don’t know if I should... at least it wouldn’t be in .xxx (*cough* @linuxx *cough*)

I don’t know what I am ? Analyst ? Programmer? Engineer? Consultant? I seem to be doing a shit load of non programming stuff

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

My fiancé bought me a new laptop for my birthday. Not the greatest but it works. I put Mint 19.X (don’t know which version but latest) on it and I’m in love.

What do you guys do, if you don’t know which keywords to google for your particular problem ?

Wish me luck, I tried to ask on Stackowerflow.
If I’m not responding later, send help!

I recently made 2 years of experience but don’t know if I should still apply for an entry level position. I still feel uneasy with my skills, but don’t love where I’m working. What would you guys do if you were in my shoe?

If you have two keyboard layouts installed, English and Russian, and you’re trying to type “dev” but end up typing in Russian layout, it comes out as “вум”, literally “fem”.

All developers are secretly female even if they don’t know it yet

Illuminati confirmed heartbleed can’t melt ARM cores

I am a frontend dev but please don’t trust me 100% with responsive, works in every browser, animation heavy, top of the line, UIs.

Also I don’t know how to work with Wordpress.

Also don’t ask me questions about Webpack, Node, or anything related to builds/configs. (I will be happy to google search my answers for you tho)

But I am a frontend dev.

If you don’t know Linux, you’re stupid.
If you don’t know macOS, macOS is stupid.

Parsing logs to create conditional insert statements cause expert morons fucked up production database cluster.

Database is partially corrupted and cannot be used and they don’t know how to fix it.

I know you pals know much more than me about privacy. I have these questions to you all:

- can google still know trends about me if I only use google docs and google drive to store files I share with other people and rarely update it? Let’s say I don’t use google search or any other google service ON REGULAR BASIS
- does chromium actually works as the measure to get rid of google tracking if I don’t want to use Firefox?
- how safe is apple (miss me with that Apple hate)? How bad is the fact that I let apple store my regularly updated health information and I use iPhone?

I’m not talking about triple letters here (FBI, CIA, etc), I’m only talking about collecting and selling data across companies

Working on someone else’s React project is a nightmare especially when they don’t know how to write good JSX code ( which most people don’t )

I honestly am looking forward to when Svelte takes over the frontend world

Who are you going to hire in web dev position?
1. Algorithm master but new to web development.
2. Full fledged with cutting edge web dev technologies but don’t know much about algorithms

Do you guys also feel difficulty when you try to write algorithms in the new language? I feel like I am stupid cause I don’t event know the methods for coding the algorithms which can be easy with the language I already know

I don’t give a fuck about crypto currency, bitcoin and all the shit. I don’t even want to know how it works.

I’m an arrogant or dumb ??

Roast me.

I was assigned a task to troubleshoot some buggy code. I am a developer and I don’t know how to get started. Does anyone else experience this kind of anxiety? Where you’re asked to apply your skills and suddenly your brain just shuts down and you feel like you know exactly nothing? I’m older than most coders in my field. Onset of some kind of brain disorder?

Every textual communication’s tone sounds rude to me. I don’t know why. It is what it is.

I always feel like the other person is being sarcastic or rude. When, infact, they actually are not.

Just.. *tired emoji*

A lot of hate on the jokes/memes here but since I don’t have twitter and Reddit, I have the joy of seeing these as original.

You know, just a few to keep the variety going inbetween the “Fuck my boss” and the “PHP sucks ass” rants

~ I knew a little bit of Django ~
~ Now I know a little bit more ~
~ I used to like Python ~
~ Not so anymore ~

~ Why though ~
~ I don’t know ~

I use JS professionally and I have majorly coded in JS in personal projects but I always had this liking towards Python. Now, that feeling is gone. Python doesn’t seem that attractive. JS seems better.

One of the reasons, I feel, is the syntax. JS can fuck-up in places but that C-style syntax is love.

Another reason could be that I still don’t know that much Python or Django to make an opinion? Maybe. Probably.

Some days I feel like I’m a very slow developer. Spend a lot of time doing small fixes and building features that in my mind should be fast. Don’t know if I just have unreal expectations or not

Idk what to say...idek what I’m doing here...I just don’t know...

Today a functional analyst said to me : The display need to be always the same, zoom or not. I think she don’t know how a web page work.

If you don’t know how a web page work, read on the subject before starting to argue with a web dev.

Couple of advices from the QA guy

1) Don’t do the bare minimum bc the PM asks that. The people that write up the tasks/requirements don’t know their shit sometimes. Or even worse, they just copy paste what the client asked.
2) Confront the PM and ask more time to build something robust and scalable. When shit don’t work, people will blame the devs which is not fair. Is not easy but put your foot down when you’ve being asked to build shitty stuff bc the client want it ready now.

World look so empty right now so I don’t know if whole nature disappeared because of human population growth or animals are hiding some master plan to kill us. Anyway I have a feeling we crossed a border at some point and this game is over.

I’m realizing with each passing day that, even with a CS degree, I don’t know squat about programming. I’m looking to change that.

So we pushed some quick fixes management required to the system before going home to sleep. We warned them that we don’t have much time to check and test them. Because ordinarily such fixes go fine, they insisted.

What do you know, while we slept some smartasses within users drained our system money through the new hole we did not notice.

Manager responsible for this just gone dark, never ever picked up his phone. Just disappeared.

We don’t do such fixes anymore 🤗

Dear reviewers, feedback givers, coworkers, clients and critics...

There is a subtle difference between constructive criticism and just spewing hate!

One offers advice & points in the direction of a better solution, while the other one makes me value you less, as a human being...

If your comment/review/feedback is:
“I don’t like it, I don’t know why, I just don’t” - please keep it to yourself because it makes us less likely to listen to you when you actually have something worthwhile to say...

Yours,
Any and all creative professionals,
including developers.

The desktop was frozen on my cousins computer. His other cousin suggested pressing F5 to “refresh” it.

The worst part is that I even showed him but he somehow tried to defend his point. (Don’t ask how, I wouldn’t know)

I don’t know why/how, but some guy in my team put the node_modules folder on GitHub.

This person ran *npx create-react-app* and for whatever reason probably DELETED the .gitignore.

I had to fix it of course, and in the meanwhile I forgot to switch branches before changing everything, making git crash because switching branches with +4 million lines of code deleted was too much.

Why don't they let experienced front-end devs initialize projects? I don’t understand.

What’s your opinions on AWS, Azure, and whatever googles version is called. I’m curious and I’m asking because I don’t really know a lot of details. I just know they host stuff and make some stuff easier.

I kind of don’t like OOP. There I said it.
Don’t get me wrong there are times I like using it. I don’t mind some of the features but I can rarely find times I want to use them.

It can be useful depending on the project but I mostly don’t use it and when I’m using Python I always feel like I have to? I know Python offers multiple types paradigms of programming to use but everyone’s making a big deal about OOP and I can rarely ever find uses for it. What I said for Python also goes for C++ I feel like I’m forced to do it. And I especially hate it in C++ fuck that.

I’d just like to use Python, and C++ without using it or if I do not have to use all the fancy features. And kinda wish Java and C# didn’t force OOP on you but I just don’t use all the fancy features in those languages (I don’t even use java but I’m mostly talking about C# for that one).

It’s not that I don’t know how to use it it’s that I can never find a use for any of the features or just don’t want to actually do it. Personally I only really see it shining in Game development, GUI development, and MAYBE network programming??

By all means I’m not trying to flame on OOP, I just wanted to throw my OOPinion (HA) on the matter. in fact you can tell me why you like it or dislike it. I’d like to discuss the topic with anyone.

Pro tip: don’t accept a meeting with a potential employer for the beginning of your holidays (I know, ’muricans, you don’t get this concept where basically everyone taked paid vacation for several weeks during summer) so that you’ll end up thinking about whether to jump ship or not for most of your holidays, effectively ruining your time to potentially relax for you.

Just don’t do it.

To all my people who don’t like to code emails (the sane people): there is MJML. It’s an easy, quick and overall the best way to create emails nowadays. You won’t need to learn quirks, you can learn MJML in a day and make pretty much any email you need.

There’s even a vscode live preview plugin, don’t know about other ides though but I’m sure there is something.

LONG LIVE MJML

Sprint planning, the haiku:

“Is this worth four points?”
“I don’t know, what do you think?”
“Let’s just make it four”

All of the basic features of the rewrite have been successfully implemented! Ranting, commenting and even different types of posts have been implemented.

In 1 fucking month. Fuck, if that’s not impressive I don’t know what would be honestly.

Now - time for notifications.

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

I know reviews are so I can show my progress and let you tell me what you think. Just, please don’t tell me to click irrelevant buttons, trust me, there’s really nothing there.

I've got a really good UDP joke to tell you but I don’t know if you'll get it.

I’ve been on devRant for a very short period of time and I’ve seen too many posts about PHP fucking people in the ass.

Is it really that bad?(I’m an embedded systems geek so don’t ask me why I don’t know anything about PHP)

Proof i typically underestimate my own self: I just remembered building a browser In Visual Basic in middle school, in a day at my friends house…. How the hell did I do that?? I recognize some of the syntax, but i don’t remember Visual Basic… but THATS how I know it looks like C… AND I DONT KNOW C! so wtf!

When you’ve been learning for 3 months straight almost 60hrs a week and still basically don’t know shit.

i don’t know how to feel about these c++20 concepts. even though i haven’t seriously written c++ for years, it’s a little sad to see the language i know and love getting so convoluted and lost in modernisation. it’s gotten to the point where i look at a modern c++ code base and all i see is rust. especially the universal trailing return types everywhere, those get to me.

I don’t really regret anything because I’m extremely happy with my current situation, but maybe I should’ve gone for a CS degree to make my life a bit easier. But who knows if it would’ve made things better or worse, I’ll never know.

i don’t know how people have so much patience towards other people. people are the most annoying creatures alive. can’t change my mind.

The more you know , the more you know what you don’t know. #javascript

Most of the people here are SoOoO insecure and self conscious about their programming abilities they have to complain about other languages they don’t know anything about.

We. want. stack traces!
When do we want them?
When we catch exceptions that we don’t know how to handle!

I don’t know what the hell is up with Twitter these days, but everyone’s debating hopping over to Mastodon…I question why everyone doesn’t just migrate here 🤷🏻‍♂️

I am supposed to make a module that does sftp to third parties. Users put in their credentials and we connect and dump files on their servers. It seems like a terrible idea. We don’t administer those computers or define anything about their security. We don’t know if they are entering third party credentials or handling data according to our TOS. Can’t we just send them a presigned link by email on a schedule or something?

I don’t know why but I laughed so hard

manager: we need timings on work
Me : what’s the business requirement
Manager: don’t know but the business want timings. We have an XSD.
Me: *thinks - cool story*.

I’m feeling like I don’t know nothing and all that I know just don’t have any important

Unfortunately, due to my recent decision to only connect with people I know, it means I get a lot of those “Do you know this person?” pop-ups when I hit ignore. And because I’m a lyric person, it also means every time I deal with someone I don’t know, my brain goes:

“I don’t know him!”
“Peter, don’t you know what you have saaaaaaid? You’ve gone and cuuuut him dead.”

Just ordered my first Alienware laptop.
As much as I want to be excited , I know devices and laptops don’t last that long like they used to years ago

So guys... I’m pretty interested in web development and I have a bit of experience in php and I want to learn a python web framework. But I don’t know which framework to choose.
Flask or Django???
Any Suggestions???

"It’s really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don’t know what they want until you show it to them." - Steve Jobs

I don’t know why it annoys me so much but writing the date the wrong way is fucking ridiculous America! It’s Day fucking month fucking Year imbeciles!

I, I don’t even know how to search this... when I run an app from Visual Studio in IE (cancer, I know it’s a long story and above my head) my kerning is a mess. When I publish the same app to the dev server, it’s fine. The kerning appears to be the only thing messed up.

Devrant crashed again while opening a rant. Been doing this for some days now. Don’t do it devrant it annoys my sad irritated self. Ya know I’m too lazy to check fo an update too.....