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Under settings, we made a checkbox labeled “Run Program Faster”. The state was saved but it didn’t do anything.
We turned it “on” when people said things were slow. Usually they were happy and no one complained the “run faster” option wasn’t working.29 -
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.2
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Currently acing an interview, had to do a typing test, got 67wpm and 98% accuracy.
"If you want faster I'd have to bring my own keyboard, this one's a little small"
"You can go faster?"40 -
I swear all my clients are like these! I can probably teach a blind monkey faster than these idiots.
PC: marketoonist
4 -
“Hybrid is the future, it’s faster to develop, more efficient and has no real downside or impact”
20 -
Parents:why is my iPad so slow?
Me: It's old (1st gen that came out in 2010)
P:well just clean it up and make it go faster
M:Theres nothing to clean... Theres only a browser app and solitaire....
P: well just fix it so it's faster
M:....... *turns it off and on again*
M: All fixed1 -
Someone advised him that WP runs faster on Ruby.
Now, he wants me to port WordPress to RubyOnRails !!!
17 -
Spent 2 days carefully crafting a highly optimised routine, then spent 3 minutes to write an unoptimised version for benchmarking. The latter ran 50% faster.4
-
Client: Do you know how to make this WordPress faster?
Me: yup.
* 30 minutes later*
Me: *googles* "How to make WordPress faster"7 -
Intel's new CPUs are faster, so your text editor can be based on a slower version of chrome, with a even slower bloated JavaScript framework. Congratulations!7
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Downloading an ISO on my phone (3g) while doing Saturday shoppings because it'll be faster than downloading it on my home Internet 😅13
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Pro tip: It is faster and easier to say 'World Wide Web' than it is to say 'WWW'.
You're Welcome!18 -
When your internet download speed is faster than your system copy speed. Damn! I need a new laptop !!12
-
string work_it, make_it, do_it, makes_us;
if(work_it=="harder") {
make_it="better";
if(make_it=="better") {
do_it="faster";
if(do_it=="faster") {
makes_us="stronger";
}}}3 -
When a MacBook user says..."Unlike Windows, Macs don't get infected plus they're faster than Windows anyway". And I'm all like..
23 -
A faster, better YouTube they said, 'YouTube needs permissions to Contacts, Location, SMS, Microphone, Device ID and information', they said. :/
I'm good with a slower, worse YouTube.
22 -
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.1
-
Meanwhile at HTC:
Dev: Just gonna tweak this function to make our keyboard faster!
Dev: ha! Done, users will love this update
5 -
I’m happiest about code I deleted.
Deleted code is easy to maintain, easy to read and it makes applications run faster.
Moreover applications take less disk space and are faster to download.
The more happy than about deleted code I’m about deleted software or destroyed computers.3 -
So we got this bug report today. This guy's my hero. If more people wrote bug reports like this, they would see faster results.
5 -
When the coffee you had in the morning kicks in all at once.
Now my heartbeat is faster than my keystrokes4 -
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Some people.... urgh!1
-
Never worked faster and more efficiently than the night before going on vacation... So... Vacation every day.
-
Sister: *walks up to me at my desk* Hey, I was wondering if you can undo what you did to the internet and put it back and make it work better in my room and also make it faster
Me: Sure
Yeah, I’ll get right on it and go hit the fucking magic button in the router settings called “enable extended range and make it go faster”.1 -
"BlueStacks 4, 6 times faster than every phone on Earth!!!"
*wank wank*
Meanwhile, it can't even do window compositing (y u no use the fucking compositor of the fucking OS?!) or keyboard input (sends Return twice apparently). But yeah, faster than every phone on Earth. MY FUCKING ASS IS FASTER, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
So much for a Sunday where my servers can go straight to hell for a day, and I'll just play some fucking games.. so much for that.
FUCK!!!6 -
Once upon a time I was program'n, but then the POTATO GOD said unto me, PROGRAM FASTER MY CHILD. And I did so.3
-
My internet got finally fixed. Currently, it is also very fast. Very very fast.
Related: https://devrant.com/rants/1374617/...
14 -
Everyday I prefer Linux more and more over Windows 10...
...even running a "rm -Rf /" is exponentially faster7 -
Dear Client,
Being a complete and utter asshole does not make your website get developed any faster, so you can kindly fug off.1 -
Got new stickers today. They say stickers make your computer faster, how'd you explain if you paint a car with flames it runs faster? Check mate, atheists.
3 -
Forget about coffee, nothing wake you up faster than a colleague mentioning your name in the slack channel where the stderr of the app writes.1
-
Better gradle they said.
Builds faster they said...
There is a difference between faster and less slower.4 -
4 stages of using VIM:
1. Survive
2. Fell Comfortable
3. Feel Better, Stronger, Faster
4. Use Super-powers of VIM6 -
Everyone,
Get Visual Studio 2017 RC right now! It is much faster and uses less space, almost 5x less than 2015.10 -
The awkward moment when the website is faster on my shitty computer than on its pre-production server...4
-
I'm convinced that playing the piano has allowed me to type faster and commit keyboard shortcuts to muscle memory faster too. While coding isn't about typing quickly, there's a whole bunch of times when I've had an idea, and had to get that down into code as quickly as possible before I forget it - and that's when I really find fast keyboard work comes into its own.5
-
Shit went very well - I am really happy for my future
Hopefully, the bureaucracy will be faster for me :P
Details? Not yet5 -
Working in Asian IT. N/w bandwidth sucks soul out of body faster than downloading a web page...
A man(ager) asks, why do you need Internet?
....?2 -
Not an enemy yet, but I’ve just debated with a senior dev that said stored procedure is faster, safer, and works better than entity framework
I agree with faster (only a bit) but the rest is just bs23 -
Making python 2x faster by replacing enums with literal values.
Pros, it's faster, cons, it's unreadable.
God I miss compiled languages. At least optimizing them requires intelligent problem solving.
It's a text parser state machine transition so it's a code hot spot, so this kind of optimization is worthwhile. But it's kinda annoying.
Next is get rid of any semblance of readability and replace the match with an array index...31 -
Re-implemented a Perl-based log analysis script in plain old C to make it faster.
Horrible implementation... Good times.6 -
I once had a class mate who argued that coding in C not only produced faster code than .NET C#, but that he could actually produce applications faster than me in C.
I challenged him to make a Web browser. While he was struggling to remember if it was #include <stdio.h> or #include <iostream>, I started typing WebBro... and let IntelliSense work it's magic.
Needless to say I won.
Sadly, he wouldn't admit his defeat but went on about how much faster his browser would run in the end...
He has yet to release a Web browser written completely in C.15 -
A previous project manager thought that by marking every ticket as high priority, they would get done faster.
// priorities1 -
My evening: going from 8e-5 seconds to 1.4e-5 seconds.
I'm pretty happy. I'm now 3x faster than the next fastest library available.19 -
TIP:
1.1.1.1: the fastest, privacy-first consumer DNS service
I switched to faster DNS,
And believe it or not, it improved my internet speed.
Just add this DNS and you're gonna experience faster browsing
DNS1: 1.1.1.1
DNS2: 1.0.0.1
comment below if you experience it.
20 -
When your Phone has 1% battery left and you are running faster than Usain Bolt to prevent a shutdown
8 -
that feeling when your (thrice) refactored code executes literally 1000 times faster.
loading excel ranges into vba arrays and process these is much faster than comparing the ranges themselves. also much more readable. please don't throw rocks at me for don't knowing this in advance.6 -
I think my LED strip is displaying 16 million colors faster than i can process. Im drunk, so everything is possible.
Jiggletits2 -
The difference of 5 letters can be significant using "this" or "self" instead of "localhost" (added in /etc/hosts) looks much nicer and is faster to type.
7 -
Oh hell yeah. I just spent a good few hours optimizing an ok mySQL query and made it so much better and faster. Inner join ftw!!3
-
The guts of Microsoft:
"Microsoft Edge is faster than Chrome
Based on a Google benchmark. Change immediately your browser"
Yes, when hell will freeze 😂
7 -
just remembered watching a video where a little shit wannabe programmer was interviewed by another shit wannabe it professional "hacker" and the first shit claimed he designed a new language that is better with a compiler 10 times faster and better than gcc when he demonstrated his language it was nothing but a header file with couple of define statements for different C function.
and this dude was in the news and was glorified by people and shit
#justturdworldstuff
I'm glad i left "my" country3 -
Sometimes, rewriting a project can be faster, more time efficient and better to read than trying to fix the single inefficiencies in parts of the code.
-
Fun fact: Windows loads faster than Autodesk Maya does :/
(By loading I mean going from zero to responsive and usable)4 -
NOX android emulator is awesome. Super fast. Even faster than genymotion I think. AND FREE! with super minimal ads.
Check it out android devs!4 -
That feel when my solution runs way faster than world average
PS: the puzzle is SAWAYAMA WONDERDISC
3 -
Of course I can code with vi. I can also cook by burning wood. It might taste better, but it doesn't cook faster.12
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I tried developing an API based on some other ones that would query my school's timetables faster than our app.
It worked.
I'm proud now.4 -
"Did you know that if you put two exclamation marks at the end of a function, server will prioritize that function and make it work faster?"3
-
Random talk with a colleague:
-How familiar are you with oop concepts?
- I don't need that, I will make my life easier instead. They say "the" Java is faster though.
-Faster from which lang?
- C.
Me: Aw shiet.
Can't believe who I share this precious air with.7 -
Sublime Text - absolute favourite! Tried many editors but nothing is faster than Sublime on a 4 gigs machine .. and also the packages.
-
Wow apple really did - they arrived where microsoft was 20 years ago.
Apple ads used to be about the experience, the lifestyle, simple and elegant.
Now all we get is ‚3.7 times faster‘, ‚13x faster graphics card‘, max and pro CPUs (probably home, home pro and home premium too some time …).
‚advanced thermal architecture‘ ….
Bullshit bingo deluxe …🤦13 -
It's faster to design a database, import data from Excel, and run queries than having to deal with these formula shit4
-
Project Manager: I want you to work faster and make the performance faster. No excuses
Specs: potato pc9 -
"No my phone is faster then yours. I prove you"
Puts Android Device and iPhone next to each other and opens Facebook app at "the Same time" by clicking on the app icon after counting down from 3.
"See its way faster"
*Facepalm*6 -
Novice seeking advice, how do you indie/solo dev guys manage your time and productivity to stay clear on what to prioritize and deliver faster ?9
-
Hey, does anyone have some tips to learn programming faster? I have the problem that I often forget little things; /15
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Google is faster than my computer's calculator launching..
I'm still typing, he already gives me the answer.2 -
Coding faster is more important than code quality? GitHub shows a call to action: "Code 55% faster with GitHub Copilot". WTF?14
-
Management: ReactNative is great because it is faster!
Me: What else do we get from it?
Management: Facebook made it so it is good!
Me: 😑3 -
!rant
Just discovered bulma.io! I've got to say I am completely in love with it! It's sooooo much faster than bootstrap and it's completely JavaScript free, you have full control over what parts of bulma you import and use, making it even faster.
I haven't had this much fun re-doing a front-end in years!
So what's your opinion on bulma.io (and/vs bootstrap) ? :)4 -
Wooh! Finally!! I thought I was hitting an optimization wall. Guess the brain works faster in the morning 🤔
4 -
You "following up" and "just checking in" doesn't actually make anything go faster...quite the opposite actually..
-
So a little bit explanation to my last fuck rant
I was trying to make a cuda code faster, specifically eigen value decomposition for 12 by 12 matrices. For a week a made a fast and accurate version and a faster but less accurate version, both are faster than cuda. Then I was thinking about how to make the faster version more accurate.
Then we had this idea of using power iterations. And honestly I hoped it won’t work. But then, fuck me it worked, which means I had more work to do.
But hey, at least now I’m way faster than cuda on this18 -
The worst type of frustration and shock is when your Windows boots up faster than your Linux Distro!10
-
Does anyone have that one song which they listen to while programming?
Mine is Harder Better Faster Stronger by daft punk13 -
I have mixed feelings about Qbit research. On one hand, I want it to be open source as much as possible. But the the same time, we give "them" faster access to faster and easier manipulation and exploitation of many things than ever.
(edit: grammar, I'm drunk) -
The more you learn languages like Javascript and Python, the more you realise that while every syntax differs, they're all essentially themes of the same if, else or and, type statements... This leads me to believe that with enough practice, it's possible to shortcut or pick up a new language progressively faster. Or am I just a melon?7
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Just a thought: wouldn't P2P greatly reduce server expenses and be much faster for people not in the US?5
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When you cache index a faster query but your co-worker from other part of the world clears it.... It's been six times now dude2
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I don’t wanna brag but my home wifi might be faster than your office wifi , also It’s 1500 GB at a price of 0.022$/GB 😬
28 -
"we're gonna start doing WordPress for a lot more customers, to deliver faster. Not debatable. "
Fuck that shit, I'm off to another employer.3 -
So PHP 7.2 according to its creator, is actually faster if you write bad code.
Well im not amused.5 -
Why do people even care to get Microsoft Developer Certificates?
Like, getting Indian citizenship is a little bit faster..2 -
How did pornhub pitch their idea to investors?
"...making the world a better place by enabling people watch porn faster and reliably" -
Oh how I miss straight forward programming. I've been working on performance enhancements for a month. Optimizing angular is no fun.
-
Tabs, or No Tabs? I did the same as this commentor 2 years ago. I can code so quick now because of this simple switch. Here's why:
(source, Laracasts.com)
Ben Smith
"I think the most beneficial tip was to do away with tabs. Although it took a while to get used to and on many occasions in the first few days I almost switched them back on, it has done wonders for my workflow.
I find it keeps my brain more engaged with the task at hand due to keeping the editor (and my mind) clutter free. Before when I had to refer to a class, I would have opened it in a new tab and then I might have left it open to make it easier to get to again. This would quickly result in a bar full of tabs and navigation around the editor would become slow and my brain would get bogged down keeping track of what was open and which tab it was in. With the removal of the tab bar I'm now able to keep only the key information in my mind and with the ability to quickly switch between recently opened files, I find I haven't lost any of the speed which I initially thought I might.
In fact this is something I have noticed in all areas of writing code, the more proficient I have become with an editor the better the code I have been writing. Any time spent actually writing your code is time in which your brain is disconnected from the problem you are trying to solve. The quicker you are able to implement your ideas in code, the smaller the disconnect becomes. For example, I have recently been learning how to do unit testing and to do so I have been rewriting an old project with tests included. The ability to so quickly refactor has meant that whereas before I might have taken 30 seconds shuffling code around, now I can spend maybe 5 seconds allowing my mind to focus much better on how best to refactor, not on the actual process of doing so."
jeff_way Mod
"Yeah - it takes a little while to get used to the idea of having no tabs. But, I wouldn't go back at this point. It's all about forcing yourself into a faster workflow. If you keep the tabs and the sidebar open, you won't use the keyboard."2 -
Can someone suggest tips to code faster?
In the last few days ive only written + commited 114 LoC which is not enough imho.14 -
I moved to another ISP today. Now my download speed is 40Mbps and upload 20Mbps. I can browse devRant faster and download porn much faster via IDM.12
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Just set up my Raspi with pihole, damn it’s so easy and super efficient. Sites now load so much faster 🦍1
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Time to say no to artificial intelligence, tried ChatGPT today and it's frightening.
The day when we won't consider nukes as the biggest threat to our civilization is approaching exponentially faster and faster and this is really worrying.20 -
Just wrote a Scala test class using Sublime, felt like I moved faster than with IntelliJ... Maybe I should try vim next?1
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it thrills me how killing "watchman" makes computer faster!
Well it is a Facebook creation after all .... No wonder why1 -
Can you go faster from 0 to a 100 than drake?
for(int i=0; i<=100; i++) {
Console.WriteLine(i);
}
Show me your fastest way!5 -
Never say you can't do feature A, offer a different(better, cheaper, faster, possible) solution when saying NO to your boss
-
I am using Ubuntu for two years now, for me it is faster than windows. To have more speed what’s next!?6
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Dear Microsoft: I don't care if Edge or any other of your in-house developed software is faster than the alternatives, it's about quality not speed.
If you design quality products people will use them, just because they are "faster" doesn't mean shit.5 -
C would say to other languages:
"I am imperative
not functional
nor object oriented but
I am faster than you"2 -
!rant
Maybe it's because I'm drunk but the extra 8gb Ram I just added to my laptop really makes it faster. Everything seems a little bit faster and I can now power up 2-3 virtual machines and IDE etc. without problems 😍 -
!rant
I love that you can type the word "test" with one hand. Makes testing form inputs a lot faster.2 -
This week was so not productive! Learning c# on the job is hard and I had hoped that it would go faster🙃1
-
Nothing like using a ThreadPoolExecutor to thread out my shitty selenium task, so it will go just a bit faster.
-
8 months into a complex Agile project, managing multiple Scrum teams -
I still feel it would go much faster if I just do it myself.1 -
Not sure if I don't know how to manage time properly, lazy, bad or just inexperienced.
I need a "How to get shit done faster" tutorial.2 -
Go to meeting
About 1 hour and a half
“Yeah we really need that thing you’re developing, the faster we can release it the better“1 -
Do you think that program with keyboard & mouse is faster than using a laptop keyboard & touchpad?
At least in my case having no BlockNum and bad distribution of navigation keys, plus the need to use the [Fn] hotkey:
[Shiftl] + [Fn] + [Home|End], just imagine when you have to do [Ctrl] + [Shift] + [Fn] + [Home|End].
Mouse is faster and more accurate than touchpad6 -
$ yarn add leftpad @types/left-pad
It was faster than reinventing the wheel and I needed that functionality :> -
Did any of you try using Android Studio on ChromeOS?
Does it work faster compared to bloated Windows or OS X?3 -
Solution to make internet explorer faster?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Replace their developers with google chrome employees.8 -
Why is vectorization library faster than hand-written for loops ? I mean, somewhere down the line, the matrices/vectors must be multiplied (or any other operation) and thus be one-by-one (for loop??) calculated and stored.
Why is it then faster to use these libraries than just manually writing for loops all over the place ?
I guess some low level magic (OpenBLAS ?) goes on there but I just don't see it..
P.S. [Would have posted it on stack overflow but I'd be ripped apart so I'm pioneering new ways]8 -
Looks like window updates will be faster. Windows Updates Are Set to Get Less Annoying http://makeuseof.com/tag/...
-
Was getting tired of the webpack build running long - updated node to v6 and webpack to 2.0, runs 5-6x faster now.
1 -
XAI has so much in common with software quality that I'm losing interest in it faster than I lost interest in frontend.7
-
I've noticed loading half of a small dataset twice is faster than loading the full small dataset once from files around half a terabyte.
Any tips?11 -
"What do you mean that I'm late? Time is relative. It just today the earth spin a little bit faster."5
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Meanwhile in a parallel universe composer update runs faster than the speed at which universe expands.
-
The feeling when your mobile connection is faster and also more reliable than your connection @ localhost --> everywhere I'm shufflin
-
Come up with an idea of yet another alternative to React that'd be supposedly faster and smaller.
Stop myself. -
Question:
Should I make my own JS library/framework to make my work go faster, I would put the most used code in this library2 -
I want to try out the dvorak layout but I'm a bit unsure if it's worth it. Anyone who has changed from qwerty to dvorak who could tell me about their experience? Is it faster than qwerty? Is it easy to learn?4
-
How to deduce the time complexity of any algorithm faster?
And is there any software that calculates it and suggest another optimal algorithm instead?1 -
When it's faster to just deploy the change to the test server than it is to test on the local test environment that never fucking works. #JustProgrammerThings
-
I am more of a backend guy. I just started coding in frontend too. Now I have to change some of the hardcoded things and those should be come from the backend. Yes this is the requirement.
Don't know how will I do it at this stage 🤔 -
For my case there's an open source app named "SHOTCUT" IS THE MOST FUCKING ANNOYING TOOLS AND BLOOD SLOOOOOOWWWWWWWW. Davinvi is faster tho.
-
Make the analog clocks at work run faster. Might be able to do this with changing the timing crystal. Depends upon the clock I guess.10
-
Previously: https://devrant.com/rants/1207077/...
Talked the bossman, he just asked that I finish the project before being put back on my usual ERP maintainer role.
I agreed to it and the faster this fucking plugin is done, the faster I can go back to my optimization and maintenance project :D -
When creating a new indie game with no budget start really really small. Because it will grow faster than you can say 'input mapping'.
-
“Introducing Turbo: 5x faster than Yarn & NPM, and runs natively in-browser 🔥” @ericsimons40 https://medium.com/@ericsimons/...
This looks great 👌👌👌👌3 -
I feel like writing stuff down is like a HDD, too slow. I'd rather record my notes some other way, much faster...2
-
"We are going to use a new technology from now on.
It's faster, secure, better."
*Stucked with a 2 years old version
-
Definitely Android 8.0 is neat.
And it's faster.
I think Android has developed a lot.
Isn't that right? -
I'm simplifying my notes during the lecture with writing a piece of code. It's much faster than in my native language.1
-
finally found what was messing up with virtualbox. the problem? bank security module. also my computer is much faster now 😑
-
I flashed resurrection remix! My battery lasts more, it's faster, everything is better. God I love android7
-
If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles. This way, my friends will find me faster.
-
Grr! Why is my new iMac taking forever to start up programs and load websites? I feel like it should be faster than this!9
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"We're surprised some tasks were getting done faster after you left."
No shit, Sherlock. 3 teams, each having multiple devs waiting with their own support queue, sat in on my handover. If they weren't getting done faster you're in a lot more trouble than you thought and I'd have jumped ship much faster. -
Do you type faster and more efficient when the boss is standing behind you or slow down and stop eventually?5
-
I just deleted HTTPS Everywhere plugin from Firefox on my phone. Everything runs much faster. Very optimized plugin!8
-
Nothing makes me close a job description faster than the word "actuarial". Actuarial anything sounds boring af.
-
Me: Look boss i refactor application, now it is way faster then previous one.
Boss: Cool, but who wrote the previous code?
Me: OH! well me. -
You're all programmers, right? How do I get my Grandpa's ASUS (Intel Pentium, Windows 10) to run faster? Please please he asked me to help.4
-
Retrofit + Gson is faster than Volley + my static helper class for parsing JSONArrays -.-
I feel defeated //android4 -
Never had a really bad experience. Was just too tired to continue some times after getting tipsy. But I'm always faster.
-
I feel like a slave being whipped when my company says: "Develop faster, faster, fasterrrrrrrrr!".
Sigh.4 -
Why is it that Browsersync works so much faster and cleaner in Chrome then Firefox. I want to dev in Firefox but Chrome is seriously tempting me with it's faster refresh rate with HTML and JS.
Google I want to hate you and dammit sometimes I just can't. 😫3 -
Since tar is apparently faster than cp
It’s making me wonder
Which is faster
Md5/sha with a comparison against the copied files
Or diff ?5 -
Do you know why I like to develop for iOS?
Cause I enjoy the challenge of making shitty hardware run faster.2 -
Somebody says Python is passing through a difficult period because of competition of other faster languages... https://github.com/MagicStack
-
Just found some of Andrei Alexander's I'd videos on YouTube. Specifically the cppcon 15 talks. Does anyone else here know of talks or books etc all that can satisfy my near-juvenile love for fast code.
-
After not using cars for almost 5 years now, I think my computer would be faster and more accurate at recognizing street signs for the captcha
-
This seems like the sort of thing all you Vim users may appreciate: http://owen.cymru/fzf-ripgrep-navig...
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When your boss was suggested to re-develop a website for the reason that it's much faster to fix an errors on the codes.1
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