"I wrote the code, I have to maintain the code, I wont need any comments"

*some months later*

"Join GitHub"
"I'm not gonna join some sketchy, off brand porn site" - friend

I don't code. I breed bugs.

So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???

Things I'm half decent at: Writing code
Things I am absolutely the worst at: Managing projects

Things I got employed for: Writing code
Things I do: Managing projects

I saw an ad today for "Wix Code". Yes, you can officially code your Wix page with their javascript framework.

Cue recruiters looking for candidates with "10 years of wix development"

How do I code....

I code
Therefore
I rant

I sometimes write code by first putting comments and then writing the code.
Example
#fetch data
#apply optimization
#send data back to server
Then i put the code in-between the comments so that i can understand the flow.
Anyone else has this habit?

*has finals to study for*

Me: I could study... Or I could write my website..

*create new project*
'git init'

I code at night..

Guys! It's 'code' NOT 'codes'.

I check the newbie's code. [correct]
I check the newbie's codes. [not correct]

Programmers write 'code'. It's an uncountable noun so we cannot pluralize it.

Spies use 'codes'.

Friend: can you take a look at me code?
Me: sure, it's all shit!
Friend: You didn't even look!?
Me: did you write the code?
Friend: yes...
Me: well, I don't have to look, I can smell ur shitty code!

Mastering git has become the best thing ever. I feel like a real code monkey. Swinging from branch to branch. Eating all the bug-eeee eeee ahhhhh oooh aaaaaaAAHHHHHH!

I want to code, but I have one problem ...

Yeah I don't remember all the code I wrote.

Whenever i cant fix my code

I touch her

I code, therefore I am.

Since git, sometimes I drink and code until I pass out

Today I woke up with good working code that I don’t even remember writing

Today I got my programming test back. 50/50 points. I only deserved 40 of them, since I wrote horrible code, so I told the teacher "I don't understand my points." His reply: "I also don't understand." I was laughing for at least 5 minutes 😂

A while back, I ranted about emojis in code.

My nightmares are becoming reality.

Behold, production code:

My coworker comments every line of code I think the code is not readable!

I edited your code

Code works.
I'm happy.
Maybe she's happy.

Code doesn't work.
I look frustrated.
She's definitely not happy.

I write code,
I am a writer.
I fight with bugs,
I am a fighter.
I optimise code,
to make it tighter.

i really hate when i have to read someone else's shity code ... I'd rather write the entire code from scratch -_- !

me when i wake up: im gonna code!
me 12 hours later: i swear ill code this time.

Sometimes I feel I code better...;)

I see this is true.
I am learning software development I understand what the code does but the most difficult part is to think and think and think what code to implement and how you're going to code it to make the program work.

Beginner: I wrote 1,000 lines of code!
Intermediate: I deleted 1,000 lines of code!
Expert: I prevented code from being written!

I am one with my code and my code is with me.

I'll never hate anyone's bad code as much as I hate my own bad code.

The interviewer pointed out that I missed a semi-colon on the whiteboard code .I was like... sorry, but the whiteboard can't compile this code!

...and I wasn't selected! -.-"

I code for fun until it isn’t any fun anymore, then I code because I need to finish.
But no code is ever finished.
I shall code forever!

IF YOU HARD CODE URLS INTO YOUR CODE I WILL HARD CODE MY FIST INTO YOUR FACE

I am one with the Code and the Code Is with me :)

Today I wrote a regex expression that worked on the first try. Today I learned that the hardest code to debug is bugless code.

No, listen to me. I cannot approve this PR because your code does not comply with our code style. All the imports and annotations must be sorted in ascending order by length. They must all make fir-like blocks of code. Because it looks nice.

Now go and fix your code

I just smiled and walked away to obfuscate my code with firs . I had no idea what to even say to that... I still don't

I wish i have buddy to code with..

Oh the ups and down of learning code. One day you feel like a programming prodigy, the next you hit a concept that makes you feel like you'll never become a professional programmer. So much to learn!!!! 😭😭

The nightmare continues.

Currently dealing with a code review from a “principal” dev (one step above senior), who is unironically called a “legendary dev” by some coworkers. It’s painfully obvious he didn’t read the code, and just started complaining and nitpicking.

It’s full of requests to do things that make absolutely no sense, and would make the code an unmaintainable mess.
• Ex: moving the logic and data collection from the module’s many callers into the module instead of just passing in the data.
• Ex: hiding api endpoint declarations by placing them in the module itself, and using magic instance variables to pass data to it. Basically: using global functions and variables instead of explicit declarations and calls.
• Ex: moving the logic to determine which api endpoint to use, for all callers, into the view.

More comments about methods being “too complex” (barely holds water) right next to comments saying “why are these separate? merge them together!”

Incredulously asking how many times I’m checking permissions and how ridiculous it all is. (The answer? Twice.)

Conflating my “permissions” param and method names with a supposedly forthcoming permissions system overhaul, and saying I shouldn’t use permissions because my code will all have to get rewritten. Even if that were true, and it’s likely not, the ticket still needs to use the current permissions. I can’t just ignore them because they might be rewritten someday.

Requests to revert some code cleanup because the reviewer thought the previous heavily-nested and uncommented versions (with code duplication) were easier to read. Unsurprisingly, he wrote them.

On the same ticket, my boss wants me to remove all styling and clientside validation, debouncing, and error messages from a form. Says “success” and “connection failed” messages are good enough. The form in question sends SMS and email using arbitrary user input for addresses. He also says it shouldn’t be denounced on the server, and doesn’t want me to bother checking permissions. Hello, spam!

Related: the legendary dev reviewer says he can’t think of a reason why we would want to disable the feature for consumers, so I should remove the consumer feature flag.

You can’t make this stuff up.

How I do code reviews

Me when I'm updating my projects:
"I put some new code in,
I took some old code out,
I put some new code in and I tested it all out, I fixed some major bugs and I pushed the update out. That's what it's all about!"

When I finish my code I always think: "I am a genius!!"
But when I see the code of my friend...

So drunk I'm starting to so see code on the music.

Or music in the code.

I dunno anymore.

I accidently used the wrong language to code in... So I had to port my code over to the right one.

I FUCKING LOVE VS CODE!!!!!

I dont date

I code

Hard

I've been using atom for a long time. At work I recently switched to visual studio code. I really hate Microsoft... But I really love visual studio code!

I am a developer, and I code in PHP.

True compliments I have given:
-*actual tears dripping* I'm changing how I code to be setup more like yours
-if I could fuck that code I would

People should fucking document their code. I have to implement something using someone's code. And I have no idea what I'm doing.

Just found this while trying to understand some code:

```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```

I thought this was worth my first rant...

Had my first coding interview today, and to be honest I didn't really nail it. Its surprisingly difficult to think clearly and critically when you have two strangers staring at you while you code. This is the 4th step of the interview process, hopefully my overall performance through the process is enough to get me through. Wish me luck (pretty plz)!

*** don't use compiler ***
Question in class today:
int n = 0;
for (int i = 1; i < 10; i++) {
n = n++;
System.out.println(n);
}

what will be printed?

I never made a friend due to code.
Either I fucking hate people if I see their code or I respect them.
But getting a friend because of code seems to me rather unrealistic.

Maybe I could get a female code groupie, if I write code little bit more lovely and sexy.

Ask me again in a year.

My JS function is now lazy loading, expressive, and uses 12 fewer lines of code! 😃

It no longer works, but
... no one is perfect. 😅

I forgot what it was like to have a productive day!

I’m rewriting the Apple wallet pass code to make it fully customizable instead of mostly static, and it’s beautiful.

The code was horrible tangled spaghetti before (and soo slow) but now it’s clean and fast and modular and absolute bliss to spec. Yay, dependency injection!

I actually had fun working today! 😊
It’s been the first time in months.

When i Code , I feel like i should take a break,
After Taking a Break,
WTf why I took the break , now what this code do !!!

During the weekdays I code for a paycheck. On the weekends I code for fun :)

I wrote code yesterday, that functions the way it is supposed to.

I do not understand my code today.

Im in an actual deadlock
I can't sleep coz I want to code
I can't code coz I want to sleep

Sometimes when i code i feel unstoppable ,those are the days that i am very productive,then there are days that i feel like an idiot and i cant code a single line

the effort to get girls, and children for that matter into programming has been terrible. I never thought I could find something worse than code.org, but here it is: SmartGurlz (because what could be smarter than spelling your own gender wrong, right?). this was on shark tank and this lady was making robots to try to get girls into programming. they pretty much control dolls on wheels by means of scratch. it's terrible. first of all, how the fuck is that profitable? when a little girl wants to play dolls, what kind of girl wants to *program* it first. jesus, no kid wants that.

second, this girls who code thing makes me barf. the thought process for many organizations trying to push girls to code is "hmm, if we isolate girls and give them lower standards, then maybe they'll decide to go into a male-dominated industry," because, fuck logic right? idiocy is dreadful. lastly, what I hate most about so many of the girls coding organizations, is the fact that they have to embrace the stereotypes. almost every single one cares about "feelings" or something similar. its bullshit.

and don't get me wrong, women should have equal opportunity, but pushing them into stem fields isn't good. bias in the workplace is what we should be talking about, or other topics like women being paid less. trying to make girls interested in programming is complete bullshit, let them do what they want.

back to "SmartGurlz," I looked them up and they confirmed what I expected. the first thing I see? not anything related to programming whatsoever, but different dolls wearing different outfits. girls deserve something better, and shouldn't have to deal with organizations trying to push them into something they don't want to do.

As a developer, I want to write clean code and I want managers that understand the importance of clean code. I don’t want to work with people who force me to deploy untested code because "we need this feature working today".

That magical moment when you finally merge into master and more than 20 issues close

Sometimes dirty code is more efficient than clean code.

If features get dropped frequently and requirements change every few days, writing best-practices, tested code is wasted time. Learned that in my first job where I thought the other devs were all bad. Until I realized their bad code pays my salary, and my clean code takes more time to develop.

Computer: Please check your authenticator app to login

Phone: Please fill in the code you see on the screen

Computer: * No code *

Me: * presses the "I can't see the code" button *

Phone: Prompt goes away, 3 seconds later it asks for thr code again

Computer: No changes

I love Microsoft at my job

I've been working on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work--

**Sorry. I should rephrase that**

I've been *trying* to work on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work.

It's slightly complicated because I'm not as "in the know" with the project as I should be. I get tossed around projects a lot as the only designer+developer so I've got my hands in a lot of buckets... Or git repos I should say... My source tree has a lot of tabs open and each project is run by someone with their own ideologies on how stuff should be done and laid out and what not. Basically jumping between these projects leaves you mildly capable on all of them but not amazing at any of individual one them--

--I digress.

There's a bug I've been trying to fix.
--Stupid simple bug, literally just a casting issue or something but there's so much data in this one object that it's taking a few solid minutes of concentration to figure out which variable is busting it all up. It shouldn't take long to fix...

But it has. It has taken 4 days.

FOUR. DAYS.

...To fix what is basically a null reference exception.

Every time I sit down to work on this bug real quick I get pulled away to do a wireframe or change a flow chart or diagram or colour or print styling.

Every. God. Damn. Time.
4 days. Soon to be 5.

My commits are real low at this point guys.

Please boss man, just let me code...

I always feel insecure when i push my code to github as public repo.

Like what if my code is so far from standard.

What if i showed a very stupid logic.

I am very insecure when pushing my code to public repos.

Trying to write more commit , so that i can stay top in github project chart with less real code be like....
Git commit -am "added p in code"
Git commit -am "added r in code"
Git commit -am " added i in code"
Git commit -am "added n in code"
Gir commit -am "added t in code"
Git commit -am " gave the proper indentation to print"

I shall code the world...

I never comment my code

She: You are ' ; ' to my code
Me: Sorry, I code in Python

All I wanna do is learn C#

Everytime i code:

Sometimes when I can't find an error, I just rewrite the problematic code. Often I end up solving the error and having cleaner code. Win win.

When a programmer says: "Horrible code", it actually means "Horrible code that I did not write".

"Awwww I remember when I started to code :)"

That is for condescension when looking at shit code or:

"Wait, you code?"

For the same case

I genuinely love to write code. Sometimes on the weekend I write some code for work because I don’t have a hobby project. I should probably get a hobby project.

A friend asking me to fix his bugs in the code.... But when I review his code .....

Omg

My dad coded in vim.

I code in VS Code.

My son will code in VS Code.

But his son, will code in vim.

Wk54

If I were to code a unknown thing to man, I would probably code a time travelling machine. Dont ask, how it works xD

The other week, our coffee machine broke. No code was written.

Today, coffee machine broke. No code written.

Think I found the secret ingredient to writing code!

Me at the new company:
My code doesn't work, I don't know why..
My code works!, But still I don't know why

Not adding spaces in for statements.

ex) bad practice
for (i=0;i<10:i++)
{
//some code
}

ex) good practice
for (i = 0; i < 10; i++)
{
//some code
}

Meeting yesterday:

Senior E: "Man, every time I do code review I thought this is the stupidest code ever written - then I look at the author, oh wait it's me"

Me: "Well, the perfect code is the code never gets written"

SE: "Casting appreciative look with a nod"

* Driving... Thinking about code.
* Walking... Thinking about code.
* Lying down... Thinking about code.
* Sitting down... Thinking about code.
* Eating... Thinking about code.
* Conversating... Thinking about code.
* Praying... Thinking about code.
* Partying... Thinking about code.
* Pooing... Thinking about code.
* Bathing... Thinking about code.
* Eyes closed... Thinking about code.
* Eyes open... Thinking about code.

Genie... I think you already know my wish.

There is clean code. There's spaghetti code. And I just discovered there's spaghetti after being thrown up code.

I can't sleep, I dream of code.

I love visual code

Proof that I code.

Oh boy I wanna write a script that replaces people's images with a pixelated icon and their messages. Writes code. Code crashes Slack, Chrome and Laptop. Only I can write code like that and make an entire machine unresponsive.

Confession: I'm launching a major project for a client this time next week. It's some of the worst code I've ever written in my entire life. It's beyond awful, but I have no choice. It's sure going to be fun fixing it for the next 2 weeks post launch.

I (don't) like how some people say "If your code needs comments, your code is probably ugly and should be rewritten".
Well, asshats. You have never considered complex calculations/functions or "temporary" workarounds, right?
Sometimes, you have to do it in a not-very-readable way for efficiency. There is no way around that in that case, and comments that either explain the code below or provide alternative, slower code that's commented really help others understand your code.
If I ever work with you and you don't bother commenting your code at all (or rather use slow code because more efficient code doesn't appeal to your "muh code dun need comments" approach), I will hate you.

I FUCKING HATE CODE INTERVIEWS

i copy paste code sometimes

Best: Recalling code I wrote in 2017.
Worst: Being asked if I remember code I wrote in 2016.

Sweet baby Jesus the stories are true. I thought this day would never come but yesterday I found a website in production straight out of a horror story.
Inline script tags that contained spaghetti code and static content. And to top it off inline style with position absolute for everything 😰😰
Also worth mentioning a couple of broken pages(404) and a beatufill repeat-y image for the background😳
I lost all hope😂

I write code too

I came to this company. I saw spaghetti code. I told myself to write clean code and also clean the existing code. I took too much pressure for too little return. I am done with this shit. I will now write clean code but fuck the old spaghetti code!

Here's me sitting in the exam thinking all about my code I wrote the previous night. Suddenly brain strikes that I forgot to pass one function somewhere in the code. So I submitted my paper and left to debug the code.
Code ran but I failed in the exam :D :P

While I code...

When you delete anything...

How long can you code continuously without any break? Occasionally I can code for hours but usually I need frequent little breaks. :/

Back then when I was working on a website logic, I didn't want to comment my code. Despite that, I wrote some things which were obvious and I thought it would be funny to explain obvious things in code. I made a joke out of commenting.
Recently I needed to use a part of the code for a different project and the comments were exceptionally helpful and I would be lost without it.

So, kids, comment your code!

I need to do codereviews at work...

Everytime i get c# code im just happy, it's beautiful to look at, easy to follow, new language features every couple of months or so...

And then I get Java/Android Code.... 😩☠🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️.

(I mainly code in C++)

I downloaded Lapsus$ source code leaks from samsung, nvidia and microsoft, looked at them and I think I’ll delete it cause I don’t like shitty code on my personal computer.

I let my programming buddy comment all the code I write. He's great. His comments looks like this:
/*
I am groot!
*/

i like to write schrödinger's code.

as in, if i write code and never run it, it is both functional and nonfunctional.

I have an increasing urge to code but I have no idea what to code.

Anyway I just want to fucking write code. I don't want to deal with people or give an opinion that is not appreciated. My manager says I am too aggressive but the truth is I hate stupidity and incompetence. I tell them their ideas are shit and not in a polite way and they make HR call me. Now I don't say shit and they are asking what I think. I think all of you are cunts that's what I think.but I don't say that. I say no comment when I know they are about to fall into a massive ditch. Will I stop them? Fuck no. Will I help them out if the ditch? Maybe, if it only involves writing code. I can't do diplomacy. I'll definitely be a fucking tyrant if I ever ruled a nation.

I have been trying to understand why my student's code isn't working just to find this piece of code. Checking out code early in the morning is definitely not my thing.

A Jargis, just the AI, someone that could write code I design and analyze my written code.

Yet another day at work:

My job is to write test libraries for web services and test others code. Yes I know to code, and have a niche in software testing.
Sometimes developers (whose code I find bugs in) get so defensive and scream in emails and meetings if I point out an issue in their code.
Today, when I pointed a bug in his repo, a developer questioned me in an email asking if I even understood his code, and as a tester I shouldn’t look at his code and only blackbox test it.

I wish I can educate the defensive developer that sometimes, it’s okay to make mistakes and be corrected. That’s how we deliver services that doesn’t suck in production.

Every time I code.

i’m so tired of people who are developers that go to every new popular social media platform and try to teach others to code. god fucking dammit. what could possibly going through these people’s minds? do they really think people who want to learn to code think “i want to learn to code so bad. i should scroll mindlessly through instagram/tiktok until i find someone teaching how to code”?

god, if you’d ever uploaded code to tiktok or instagram to teach others to code, you’re a fucking idiot.

ask about his game code logic he will rage, ask about how his front end code doing he will rage, talk to him about my server so that his front end code can follow he will rage.. and the end of final project which I merge my code and his code (I need to refactor nearly everything) he said you are very hard communicate. _. fml

That feeling when you saw your code and says "I can certainly code better". Took the day to refactor and felt satisfied with the code now. I feel awesome muahahah

What is your preferred code editor and why?

Today looking at code thinking to myself "I thought I fixed that code...shit that was in my dream!"

Why me?!

I've got a confession to make. I.. I just love hand-obfuscating JS-Code. Not because, i would prefer working with obfuscated code.. I just find it extremely satisfying watching the code shrink and being the only one being able to understand it..

It's out. I feel better now.

Every time I read some code of the rust standard libraries or code of other popular rust crates, I feel ashamed of the code I produce ... their level of documentation is just outstanding, mine is ... hardly existing?

Guess a rant about myself :D

-*sleeping frustated cause of code errors*

brain: hey, wake up! I think I know the solution of that code

-*wake up at 4 am*
-*do the code*
-*get more errors*

Fuck this life

People say that they hate all the languages other than what they code in:
It's opposite to me, I literally hate the language I code in,
Yes, I code in PHP.

So today was a bit more productive than usual.

I can code "Hello World" , am I developer ?

When i think
I cant fuckin do shit right

When i just code without thinking
I fuckin code it right

Fucc oyu

Me trying to figure out this issue I am having with code I copied from code pen for a css powered image slider.

One day i started to code.

One day i was told you will not code without git.

Many days i lost code on git because i was ignorant.

Today i reset the act of commiting without losing all my shit.

Git reset --soft HEAD^

I didnt event sweat it ;)

Today i feel like half a boss!!!

Open code html code

See flexbox with float:left 🤔
I need to talk with colleagues I think :/

Reviewing the code of my then new CTO, who said "I can also code and have experience in Java" - 50 lines of code, I added over 30 comments to his Pull Request. In the end, I rewrote his complete code.

When I do not feel like to code, I still code.

Steps to becoming one with your code:
1.Get red lamps and make em trippy asf.
2.Syntax color the shit out of your editor.
3.Install activate-power-mode
4.Get high or tipsy
5.Listen to surround psytrance
6.Code

Congratulations you are now in a higher level of existence. You are one with your code and your will is root.

*Disclaimer: Marnsghol is not responsible for any: Injury, death, damage to personal or company property, losing job, getting arrested and/or efficiency problems in work environment. Discretion is advised*

I abhor timed code tests. Do you really want to test how fast I can write crappy code?

note: it is already dec. 23 in here

testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.

wtf

Tired of dealing with shitcode, that's all I always inherit. Maybe I picked the wrong career? or maybe I shouldn't have even read about things like SOLID or picked up Clean Code.

Then again if I hadn't, I wouldn't be where I am. But I'm unhappy. Why do I always get these projects where the poeple who wrote them (and dissappeared) clearly had no proefficiency on the used tech stack.

Am I ever gonna be part of a project with an actual lead/architect, who strives for the code not to rot?

Maybe I'm just being a little bitch whinning over this?

Halp!! the more I code, the more I hate it. It wasn't like this when I was the architect. But I didn't make as much money as I do now...

What do I do

Found this beautiful piece of code, that I wrote apparently a year ago .... oh my 😂 🤦‍♂ 😅
If I could travel back in time, I would would slap myself for doing this. Although I remember, why I did this, because of many min()/max() operations that I needed. I wanted to keep the code, so that I would know, which code piece belonged to which part, but man ... is that badly written! Nowadays with Clean Code style, I would certainly do it differently.

I only code as root.
I write sudo code.

I want to share funny code memes with you guys but all my funny code memes come from devRant.

Fuck code, I am drunk!!!

When I wrote the code....

The place i Code

I just wrote the best line of code. What are your favourite lines of code?

I remember when I started to code 😅

I always stalk my code if it runs perfectly. I wonder that *Did I write this code?*

I had a friendly argument with a person over comparing visual studio with Xcode,the first thing that came into my mind when he said visual studio was visual studio code (keep in mind visual studio and visual studio code are completely different visual studio is an ide while visual studio code is a code editor )

I was arguing that there’s no point comparing an ide specifically made for iOS app dev with a code editor with intellisense with better code predictions as it would have made more sense if he was comparing a code editor with another code editor like atom or sublime.

This argument went on for a couple of mins in a group chat

Later on I found out he was talking about visual studio and not visual studio code which actually is an ide used for app dev.

This whole time I thought he was talking about vs code and he thought I was talking about visual studio 😂

I ended up agreeing it was my mistake for not getting the message in the first place 😂

Code Code
Now I think they got their mistake

Just got the news that the girl I loved in the college got married. She had a poweful mind that could write as beautiful code as her beauty. I was too shy that I didn't talk with her much.

Won't regret that. Will code whole night today!

In my current team, when someone else's code breaks, I fix it. When my code breaks, I also fix it. I feel like there's something wrong here...

Goddamit now that school's started I don't have time to code any more. Why can't I just not do school and code all day gahhhhhhhhhhh

I copy-pasted the code.

Not really a rant but more of a fact kinda thing. Noticed a post earlier about someone ranting about why they code figured I'd do the same...

I code not because I wanted to for say but because my after my uncle's death I needed something that I could feel in complete control of. Coding gave me that ability to control the computer however I want and tell it to do whatever however. At the same time it taught me so much more about myself and the people around me in the process. Today I don't code because I need to control something m today I do it because I can't live with out. It forces me to think critically of everything and everyone. It forces me to learn something new everyday and every night. It requires me to solve complex problems with limited solutions. It allows me to create solutions when everything else has failed and it gives me a drive to complete things. It's the reason I live technology and it's the reason I have the job I do. It's the reason my boss loves my work and it's the reason other people on my team envy me. Code transformed my life into what it is today. And it will forever be my greatest peice of education.

I never like my code.

I fucking hate Visual Studio!

Don't get me wrong, from time to time I actually enjoy it but not today.
It all went south when I tried to add a new handler to an fucking old asp.net webpage. I had the access the 'Range' headed to stream bits of audio and video files to the client. It was working absolutely fine for the first hour and a half, after that point the fun started...
VS decided that my source code and the binaries won't match anymore. Everytime I tried to add a fucking breakpoint or debug this cunt of an error it would just refuse
The worst part that made me go apeshit was when I finally got a breakpoint and the exception. Some unknown fucking system dll just kept on killing my thread without a proper error message because it's optimized to the fucking moon and back!

Any ideas from the devs here on what's going on and how the fuck I can fix this?

When I was young I'd play games and around age 11 received an Xbox for my bday. Hated the case, so I painted the case. Since I had it open looked into getting a replacement fan.Thats when everything changed. I discovered the modding scene and without having any computer background/literacy got to studying.

The program that caught my eye ran on Linux. *shrugs thinking how hard can it be? * Read about Linux and discover dual booting. To do that I needed to resize windows partition. Learn more about partitions and get to it. Finally prepped... Backup in case of the worst, resized windows partition, working Ubuntu bootable USB, and printed install tutorial. Check, check, and check. Install was good. Sort of.

While Ubuntu worked, the broadcam wireless chipset driver did not. Fast forward a week and I feel that i had mastered the terminal basics. And WiFi worked! Go download the aforementioned program and FTP into the Xbox and BOOM... It doesn't work. More days and hours spent researching. In the end it all chalked up to not setting a static IP address on Xbox.

After all was said and done I had a bitchin Xbox. I think the only thing I didn't put on it was some gold spinning rims.

Sad part about that Xbox is that I never used it after. Instead I just kept messing around with Linux and learning more about computers. Taught myself HTML/CSS. Learned more about shell scripting. Then Windows cmd basics. Tried programming languages but felt a little overwhelmed. Only messed with <10 lines of code to tweak existing programs.

Now I'm learning C# and loving it. Planning on C++ or Java next!

I write html code still !!!

I polish dirty code 😏

Am I the only one who hates automatic code completion in code editors?

Fucked up.

Reviewed a code and gave ship it for a colleague's code change.

In a single day, got high severity ticket cut to the team.

I am done. Not going to do anymore code reviews. I suck at it.

What I saw in code today,
If(somthing){}else{doWork()}

And the whole code is like this. WTF

Code doesnt work, i dont know why
*comments then uncomments same line*
Code works, stilll dont know why

Work rant :

I once had a code review and remembered I forgot to comment my code and said sorry I forgot to comment it out.

The reply I got?
Don't worry, here we say your code should be readable enough and no comments are required.

Im still amazed, like... Even if the code is readable, fuck this I need a tl;Dr comment for the long ass fucking code... What the fuck

Less shit code. More better code.

Yes.

But i have worked all day and the results are small.

Sometimes I want to show off some fancy code to non-programmers. Then I remember basic code would do the same.

I learned C with a K&R copy a friend gave me years ago. Now at University we in CompSci get taught in Python the first year and Java next while the engineers start with C and (I'm guessing) move on to assembly later on.

This friend comes to me all worried because he has to submit the next day a working Reversi game for the console written in C. Turns out the game was divided among two labs and he failed to submit the first one.

The guy is smart but once a week or so, when we met to smoke a joint and relax with some other friends, he was always talking about how he would prefer something like law but that would be bad business back in Egypt.

Back to the game, I get completely into it. First hour checking all the instructions he was given, then reviewing the code he wrote and copied from Internet. We decide start from scratch since he doesn't really get what the code he copied do. It took us 10 hours only stopping to eat but we get all the specifications of both labs perfectly.

A week after that he comes to me: "my TA said your code is the ugliest shit he's ever seen but he gave me a perfect score because it passed all the tests". I'm getting better (the courses I'm taking help me a lot) but what really made me happy is that he solved the next lab by himself (Reversi wasn't the first time I helped him, only the first time he was absolutely lost). Now he actually gets excited about coding and even felt confident for his programming final.

No more talking about being a lawyer after those 10 hours, totally worth it.

F++ you! You never here when I need you. You force me to sleep when I want to code. You force me to code when I want beer. I hate you, time!

I just want to code.

Literally a fresh install of manjaro.

Well... Back to antargros!

I have to debug a very complicated piece of code right now... 290+ lines of code here I come 😰

is "drunk coding" really a thing? i can't imagine how.

i prefer working code, so when i'm writing code, i need my brain to be working. the "benefits" of alcohol, like reducing social inhibitions, don't benefit source code.

Any code should be simple and easy to read / understand.

I just reworked an old stored SQL proc.

Went from 102 lines to ... 10.

More I code, more I realize that maintainability, readability, comments and unit tests are more important than actual code. (And performances ofc. But if 1 line code does it in 1 second and 500 lines code in 0.2 seconds, I’ll take one line solution every time)

Copypast first time - I fooled code. Copypast second time - code fooled me.

By Thor (not the god, the dragon), Belial and Thor (the god, this time)...

Just got the sources for the software that runs on the SDR for my project. I think I just found the mother of all legacy code:
The whole behaviour is described in a single, 4000 lines C file. Most of the code is in a giant switch with cases selected from an enumeration with names that don't match their function. All varnames are overly long, yet hopelessly unhelpful. And why three fuck would you use pointer[0].data instead of (*pointer).data or pointer->data like a sane person would !? pointer isn't even an array, so why would you use []?

I like to code but code doesn't like me :(

I don’t drink before or when I write code.
But I do to read my own code.

My tablet that I had all my code for an app just took a shit out of no where it was never dropped not even a scratch it just went black and well never went back fuck my entire existence

Yesterday I had a HUGE argument with my mom. I had severe headache after that and I couldn't help but feel angry and disgusted with myself for shouting at her. Guess what's the first thing that popped in my head soon after? Let's code.

Yes, I like to code. I'm not ashamed of it. Good code. Bad code. I code. It makes me happy. It distracts me until I get frustrated with what I've coded and why it went wrong and soon I realise I've moved on from the anger.

You never know what can help you when! Right?

When i code in PHP. I forgot to type semicolon.

When i code in Kotlin I forgot that semicolon is not necessary.

Yo dawg, I heard you like writing code for code you already wrote. So I made you write some mock functions so you can write code for code you already wrote!

Now that I've spent a few ineffectual hours too many trying to get it working, I'm starting to think VS Code wasn't built for the purposes I wanted to use it for. I still can't get breakpoints working anywhere close to reliably. And I'd say breakpoints are pretty important.

On a related note, if anyone here has used VS Code together with arm-none-eabi-gdb, I'd love some pointers. I've yet to find any traces on the web of people doing that…

I asked our professor for help, because the code that I exactly copied from her lecture wasn't working.

I forgot to erase my trace('wtf'); code that is literally on every function (mouse_over,mouse_down,mouse_out).

Right after she saw the code, she looked at me like and I was like.....

My code doesn't work> I have no idea why !
My code works> I have no idea why !
........ :-/ ........

I FUCKING OVERWROTE THE CODE.

I can remember a day which I really close to crying why my code doesn't work! Then I remember that fucking line of code should be run async! :/

JIRA life:

Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.

I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.

Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.

"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"

YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!