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Client: "Hi, there's a problem with this link"
Me: "How odd, I'll take a look right away"
-- 19 minutes later --
Client: "Has this been fixed?"
Me: "I'm working on it currently"
Client: "OK please let us know when it's done"
Me: "I will do"
-- 2 minutes later --
Client: "Hi, is this done?"
Me: "I've just told you I will let you know as soon as it's done"
-- 5 minutes later --
Client: "Hi, sorry to hassle, but is this done yet?"
Me: *starts twitching*
Me: "I am working on it and I will let you know when it's done"
Client: "OK, well don't worry about it, it doesn't really matter"
Me: *explodes*10 -
Me, trying to create a LaTeX document: *googles "latex string comparison"*
Customer and boss walk in.
Google: *shows NSFW results*
I.. Let...- Let me explain, it's not what it looks like!14 -
Designer: can we put the popup at the top of the screen?
Me: You mean op top of the navigation?
Designer: Yeah.
Me: I sure can. Would be stupid to block off the site navigation with a popup, but definately possible.
Designer: Cool, let me know when done!
Me: ....
Me: I am done.
Designer: Well now I can't click on the navigation anymore.
Me: That's correct. Let me know when you want to change it again.13 -
Omfg this fucking guy!!!!
Context:
We are going through a major refactor of some of our backend components. I was tasked with cleaning up our ML code while another guy was tasked with cleaning up the general CRUD side of the backend, let's call him DA for "dumb ass".
** At 11pm
DA: I am getting a strange error from your backend. Look:
"Invalid call: method=PUT expected=[POST]"
Me: you need to send a post request not a put request
DM: no, it's not that. I am sending the right thing
Me: ... Let me see...
* 15min ish of testing *
No, it works fine on my version, 1.1.0 what's your version?
DM: I'm on 1.1.0.
Me: send me code?
DM: *send
"request.put(..."
Me: you are sending a PUT... It's literally in the screenshot. Send a Post
DM: I am
Me: no, send a Post
DM: I don't understand, I am sending the request
Me: it's a post not a put
DM: but...
Me: it's a post not a put
Me: good night!!!!!!12 -
The guard at our school thinks I'm hacking
My parents thinks I'm hacking
My teacher thinks I'm hacking
But all I did was only build Redis from source...
Bruh17 -
Sister: "Can you fix my computer?"
Me: "What's wrong?"
S: *explains the issue
Me: *types that into Google and shows her the search results
S: *gives me the look
M: "This is seriously what I do to fix a lot of my problems 🧚"18 -
!rant: So I've noticed some devs sharing pictures of their workspace. Let me know what you think of mine!
17 -
No, dear M$, I can't tell you if sth is helpful after spening 5s on page, especially if 4s were spent loading the content!!!
2 -
Don't mind me, just writing maintainable, legible, commented and documented code. What's that, an email validation? Let me just
/^(([^<>()\[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+(\.[^<>()\[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+)*)|(\".+\"))@(([^<>()[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+\.)+[^<>()[\]\.,;:\s@\"]{2,})$/i11 -
Job offer: "All employees will be provided Macbooks"
Nope! Just nope.
Let your dev chose their equipment, thank you very much.
If they want a Linux laptop, buy them one. If they want a Windows workstation, give it to them. And if and only if they want a Macbook, give them a Macbook.
I used to work in two companies having the requirement to use a Macbook for two years.
I know its pros. I know its cons. My conclusion for me: Never again!13 -
My dad at my age: Running a whole department in the navy
Me at my age: Panicking because the company let me have my own project6 -
Boss : "just" hack the google AdWords and show our company ad everywhere on google search"
"Don't you know that everything can be hacked?"
Me : "Ok, first let me ***k you."
.
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I mean "let me hack you"8 -
Worst bad practice..
Manager: I need code today
Developer (thinking) : let me give it without unit test. Anyways tester will test it.
Manager to tester: complete testing fast.
Tester(thinking): developer must have unit tested it. Let me skip it.
Enjoy testing completed.
God help clients.. 😊5 -
Colleague started to share their screen
Me: screen is not visible to be
Them: let me just increase the brightness of my monitor5 -
'Incorrect password.'
"I must've forgotten the password. Let me change it".
'Old and new passwords cannot be same'
o_O
14 -
Fucking piece of shit forum won't let me view a fucking jpg file without creating a fucking account. Fuck you.10
-
VSCode, just let me kiss you!
This is so fucking good :( :(. Fixing conflict has never been so easier.
17 -
Boss: Hey squares, I need one of you to select a new volume control, if you spot anything let me know.
Me: Say no more
2 -
Me annoying our dev:
Me: “Is your npm watch running?”
Him: “Yes!”
Me: “You better go catch it then... 🤣”
Him: “....”
I think we gatta let him go :(5 -
I hate when people give me shit for using a Mac. You can use whatever you prefer, let me use what I like.13
-
Current mood:
Yet another meeting that I was forced to join where my presence was absolutely not required9 -
User: “X service doesn’t work.”
Me: “Are you running it using the instructions I gave you?”
User: “No, let me try… Ah, it works now, thanks!”
🙄7 -
For fucking once in my life I decide to go very early to bed so I can be 100% clear in my head for today's meetings. What happens is the following:
1. going to bed at 10pm.
2. Falls asleep relatively fast (yay)
3. Wakes up at 1am
4. Has a major headache and gets dizzy when I get up to go take a leak
5. Grabs a huge glass of water
6. Goes to sleep again
7. Wakes up at 3am with major headache and gets dizzy when I get up again.
8. Grabs another huge glass of water and goes back to sleep.
It's now 4:36am and I'm wide awake, with no headache, and no ability to sleep apparently. F... M... L!!!7 -
Sure Edge... let me just give larry and sergey a quick call, I'm sure they will be happy to help me fix your problems.
10 -
When I die I want whoever wrote this excel program to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one more time.3
-
"Could you quick make my website responsive?"
..sure, just let me press the responsive button on your website.4 -
Me: *Browsing normally*
Crappy website: *Obnoxious Ad*
Me: *Installs AdBlock*
Crappy website: *adblock pls disable*
FUCK JUST LET ME BROWSE11 -
I love my thinkpad, it grew a feature where it shocks me every few minutes to let me know that i need to get shit done7
-
Me: I should use an informative status code to let my users know what went wrong
Me to me: *500 internal server error*1 -
Then.
Dev: "Ah! Some free time at last, let me stack overflow something and learn"
Now.
Dev: "I'll work later, let me devRant"1 -
I've been working on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work--
**Sorry. I should rephrase that**
I've been *trying* to work on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work.
It's slightly complicated because I'm not as "in the know" with the project as I should be. I get tossed around projects a lot as the only designer+developer so I've got my hands in a lot of buckets... Or git repos I should say... My source tree has a lot of tabs open and each project is run by someone with their own ideologies on how stuff should be done and laid out and what not. Basically jumping between these projects leaves you mildly capable on all of them but not amazing at any of individual one them--
--I digress.
There's a bug I've been trying to fix.
--Stupid simple bug, literally just a casting issue or something but there's so much data in this one object that it's taking a few solid minutes of concentration to figure out which variable is busting it all up. It shouldn't take long to fix...
But it has. It has taken 4 days.
FOUR. DAYS.
...To fix what is basically a null reference exception.
Every time I sit down to work on this bug real quick I get pulled away to do a wireframe or change a flow chart or diagram or colour or print styling.
Every. God. Damn. Time.
4 days. Soon to be 5.
My commits are real low at this point guys.
Please boss man, just let me code...4 -
In the uni at an exam:
Professor: I can't let you pass.
Student: Can't you ask me something?
P: I can lose my job if I let you pass5 -
Oops Wrong Revert!
Let me revert back the Wrong revert and revert my mistake by reverting the Wrong Commit.
2 -
Wish me luck!
If you wanna learn with me I'd love some company.
If you got some great tips let me know!
4 -
When your sysadmins can't script a file compare and so you do the code for them.
"Sorry but we can't run unknown code on the server"
Read the code then you vile troglodytes!3 -
* Open browser, type 'dev' to go to developper.apple . com
* First suggestion on the browser: devrant.com
Me: Well, that's ok too..
* Press Enter,
*reeding some rants.. -
"Could you make me a nice logo really quick? I have no budget"
.. sure, just let me press the "make Logo"-Button in Illustrator -
It's finally happened. I've let me favourite Spotify playlist grow to 140 songs. Far too big now. Stressful :|
3 -
Why do my colleagues insist on HOURLY messages like "any update on X?" or "did you fix Y yet?"
REST ASSURED, WHEN IT IS DONE AND READY TO BE DEMOED, I WILL MESSAGE YOU, AS I HAVE FOR ALL PAST FEATURES AND BUG FIXES.
sheesh talk about too much time on your hands...6 -
I really dislike the writing invoices and proposals part. Just let me make great stuff and give me enough money so I can live.
-
All I've been doing at work last few days is code review. Damn, I feel bored. Just give me something to code already!3
-
*logs in to pc*
- Your password will expire in 3 days. Consider changing it.
+ yeah sure...
*tries to change password*
- Your password must be different from your old 25 passwords
+ ....
+ What the fuck?!? I mean, really, what the fuck is this bullshit? You force me to use EXACTLY 8 char long passwords and this? Fuck you!5 -
We share a fate, trapped on a page by the author of our world’s demise. In your eyes I see the pain, your targets slain, I will be the whispers in your mind, the demon inside.
Don’t let down your guard, let in the darkness. You will defeat this trial of ancient gods. Take me in spirit, demon adherent. When you’re the last one to survive. Spirit, stay gentle, next monumental. Will you keep the fire alive?
I, with the power inside, set an end to these lies from the deep and the quiet. Sleep, my old enemy, let an end come to me. traveler please let me fade.10 -
<...in the style of linkin park's in the end...>
I DOCUMENTED SO HARD, AND MADE SO MANY TICKETS!!!
BUT IN THE END, NOBODY REALLY READS THEM!!!
I HAD TO DEV!!! AND BUILD IT ALL!!!
BUT IN THE END, IT FEELS LIKE I'M TALKING TO A BRICK WALL!!!!
rhymes are lazy / nonexistent, I know, but my rage is superseding my ability to rhyme right now.3 -
The fact that windows doesn't come bundled with a fucking SSH CLI client really pisses me off and I don't know why... Just let me be angry19
-
I'm a responsable grown up! *uses a can of glitter hairspray on hair* much adult. Such wow.
Now I'm leaving behind a trail of fabulous. No regrets.
Pfft and my mum keeps on asking when I'm going to have kids...23 -
You : Let me just add up those two numbers together...
JavaScript : Here, let me concatenate those strings for ya!
¯\(◉‿◉)/¯2 -
Gosh ! I'm a genius !
- Working on a Sysadmin school project
- configuring the firewall
- looking myself out
- beg my teacher for reinstall
Fml right now ...4 -
While working on generic enterprise code: querying databases, calling third-party APIs and just passing data around, I'm thinking: "PLEASE LET ME DO SOME THINKING, LET ME WORK ON SOME HARD ALGORITHM OR SOMETHING!"
When finally working on 'some hard algorithm or something', I'm thinking: "ARGH! MY HEAD ACHES! GIVE ME RELEASE! LET ME WORK ON SOME MINDLESS ENTERPRISE CODE!"1 -
Yay.. laptop won't let me login, work computer won't let me rdp in after restart...this day started fiiiinee... :/2
-
My first rant. Very Happy to have people guiding newbies.
Starting with block chain (dapps) wish me luck. Any tips for beginners please let me know. 😀
5 -
Hmmm let me think ...🤔
Is there really a need to distinguish ? Are there any useful meetings out there?🤗1 -
make let not var
Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY
me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.7 -
I walked into work this morning and before I even pulled my laptop out of my bag a PM asked if I could make a "quick change" for a client 😑4
-
After ranting last night about my cat, not allowing me access to my key.
Today she didn't let me sit on my own goddamn chair.......
2 -
If I was independently rich I'd pay to work on software I use to fix bugs that it has.
Hello, Paradox Interactive, let me fix some of these roads for you.
Hello, Spotify, let me allow power users to make playlists be subsets of other playlists.
Hello, Github, let me create a tagging system to sort starred repositories.2 -
I hate office parties. It's not because I have the social skills of a rock. Language issues (and not the ones computers use) cripple you socially. Especially if you have social awkwardness to start with.
I'm just hiding in the toilet right now, waiting for the clock to strike 6 so that I can make some excuse of an appointment and leave. xD8 -
I just took over a new project from a brand new client today. It's an Android app that he said needed some updates and refactoring, and he said it wasn't well documented but he would add some comments for me before giving me the code. He gave me access to the code today and one class in it is over 1200 lines long with exactly 4 methods in it... the shortest method is still over 200 lines long. There is one comment at the very top:
// Needs refactored.
... gee thanks.2 -
Yesterday my boss forwarded a mail to me. A Senior Project Leader of a Software Company asked him if there is a library for filling out pdfs. Apparently, he can neither google nor ask their own developers... WTF?
-
Lays down to go to sleep.
*beep* new urgent help request.
Hmm, bet it's something silly, better check anyway......
Whole servers down....
How fun 😔1 -
Well everyone, my new website is finally live! Let me know what you all think! https://joshualuce.com13
-
So let me get this straight... You want a Junior Engineer with experience?
Source: Moviepass Jobs.
5 -
First wikipedia asks me donation. Then tells me facts 98% Indians do not donate. And when I try to donate, it doesn't let me donate without PAN. I am a student.6
-
If only they allow us to write unit test at work, its not that It is forbidden but we are not given time to do so :\
Done my test on my side project and now I can happily move to the next step.
Though I'd be happy if someone answers this:
1. When I have to execute functions by order, do I write all their code in one single function and divide them into regions (speaking of C# #reagion)
OR
2. I keep them split and implement the order attribute for XUnit?
My test case is basically just to make sure CRUD methods inside my repositories are working as expected, noting complex
5 -
That big lie we tell others.. "Let me just finish something here..." (4 bugs solved, 10 new ones and 2h later) "shit!!! I'll be right there!!! Let me just...."1
-
Dear Boss/PM,
If you look over at my desk and I am 'doing nothing', feel free to assume one of the following:
1) I finished what I had to do and am taking a quick break before tackling what's next.
2) I am working on something that is giving me a hard time and am taking a quick pause to refresh.1 -
Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.
Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...9 -
ZAYN : Baby, let me be your man.
BABY : No let, only const.
...
Disclaimer : it's a JavaScript joke.
😂😂😂😂3 -
A symptom of Subway Screen Symptom in details.
It is called so because it happens when you have to take your laptop everywhere by subway.
12 -
Apple, next time you want to get me to upgrade my file system, please FUCKING TELL ME IT WONT LET ME INSTALL WINDOWS USING BOOTCAMP, 9 hours and I’ve only just found the file system that will let me run Adobe Cloud and Windows
-
-My phone is root enabled (built in one)
-Super Mario Run is out so I download it.
-It doesnt like root
-I inadvertently installed full root which can hide itself (lucky no bricking)
AND IT WORKED until now...
14 -
DevRant doesn't let you choose the protocol for your website. Seeing http:// on my profile makes me feel insecure.6
-
*Googling for articles that explain something I'm trying to research*
Oh! This one is highly rated, sounds good!
*It's all written in python*
Ugh that's not helpful, ok next one
*Written in python*
Ok... Ok... Third times a charm
*Next 128 articles are done in python*
Has anyone considered that maybe not everyone uses python?
At least try writing it in Javascript or C++, much easier to adapt code to other languages... Maybe I'm just bitter because I hate python ¯\_(ツ)_/¯10 -
Let me try if this will motivate me:
Open DevRant.
Search for "wk107".
** scroll **
** scroll **
** scroll ** -
I understand that its very inefficient to call every applicant back or to give valid feed back as to why they were not chosen but I find it hard to believe that I was not chosen for an entry-level programing position when I have knowledge in everything they sought.
😧3 -
Just landed my first "real" software engineering job! Now let me venture the land of messy and convoluted codebase.2
-
TEAM MATE: let me sync my branch with upstream master
*starts typing*
git pull upstream master
ME: Nooooooo!!!!5 -
First year of college. We had to write a program in assembly to let lights go on and off slowly but I couldn't get it to work and googled the shit out of it trying to get it to work to no avail. So I go to the teacher as I expected him to have a bit more documentation/knowledge on how the shit worked. He literally said oh let me google that for you. Which made me go 🤦♂️. In the end I never figured out how to get the lights on or off but luckily my team mates did a good enough job to get us passed in the class.4
-
Suffering from concentration, meaning my coffee is cold. I can’t drink cold coffee, it makes me retch. That’s the second cup today I’ve let die on me. It’s pissing me off now.6
-
Apparently someone has already tried this.... devRant wouldn't let me post after so much work and even crashing... Twice....
8 -
Me: I tried to catch this bug for two days
Other: Let me show
5 seconds later...
Other: Oh, you just used the wrong string type
Me: ... -
Had a manager that, during performance reviews, would say things like:
"You need to work harder on managing our clients' warm fuzzies."
"I can't give you a hard number to strive for on this metric here because you'll just do the minimum"
Needless to say, the turnover in that group was insanely high. -
I'm extremely lucky that I had parents who encouraged it. My mother was a programmer herself, working with punch tape.
They brought the family home a BBC and let me fiddle with it. When we had a PC they let me get Visual Basic (ew) which got me really interested in programming. -
Me coding in swift:
func doStuff() {
// code
}
"oh I see the code isn't working yet. Let me try this"
func doStuff() {
DispatchQueue.main.async {
// code
}
}4 -
Hey guys,
Based on some recent posts about automating repetitive tasks, I was wondering, what are some tasks that you have automated?
In my case, I guess it's not really automating, but I made my work simpler by creating a bunch of bash alias that take care of frequently occurring bugs or small tasks like fetching all git repos in a directory.10 -
Someone in my family has a problem with their computer, and asks me to fix it.
Me: *sigh* "Let me Google that for you!"1 -
friend : can you help me modifying my client's website? It's a company profile website so no complicated stuff.
me : let me see...
*it's bulit on opencart*
me : wtf
friend : exactly 😂1 -
Architect: Oh hey Zaphod65, let me know when you're in. Some strangeness in [system], ta
Me: Already here actually [Archtect], what's up?
Architect: oh hi well let me do a little more digging. it may be in frontend
Me: ...
Why? Why do I *care* if you haven't even made sure it's my fault yet?!1 -
Away in vacation for a week, PM keeps mailing me issues that need solving asap, let me be man let me be....2
-
Was recruited to build a text-based course where I get a nice bonus if I finish the course early. Now I know how they are always able to save themselves from giving that out. There's so much fucking red tape for each literal sentence I write! I have MULTIPLE reviewers, commenting, editing, and "suggesting" EVERYTHING I write.
News flash: this course is derived from a different video-based course that has sold hundreds of copies on other platforms, so I must be doing something right.
Just let me write the whole course and we edit it in the end!!! This treadmill is going to triple or quadruple the time until publishing...
I feel like I'm trapped in the movie office space: "every day I have 5 different bosses come and tell me the same thing"
Won't be working with this platform again. -
Dear PM, if you ask me something let me fucking finish my answer!
I know there's some audio lag (remote meetings) but shit, you always do this!3 -
So Devrant thanks for providing me such a wonderful platform to present our own memes,doubts and to let me Collab with other geniuses.11
-
Can't stand more unproductive teams/zoom meetings anymore!!!
Fck this pandemic crap, let me code in peace!!!3 -
Did you miss this? Let me know if you're in. We are starting soon. https://www.devrant.io/rants/2733781
-
Atomoxetine 40mg here we goooo
I’m so tired of that autistic shenanigans that don’t let me live properly3 -
Let me flex a bit. Rendered the complete world of micro kingdoms in unity.
https://youtu.be/7DmCX9vFI5w
🥹5 -
Colleague: "Let me just try that on a decent phone".
Hes an Android user.
Me: "Yeah. Try one of these"
1 -
if you ask me how the method i wrote works because you don't understand it, and you don't let me finish my sentences without interrupting me, then you deserve to be punched.
LET ME FINISH WHAT I HAVE TO SAY YOU DUMB SHIT
I WROTE THAT FUCKIN METHOD
I KNOW WHAT IT DOES AND WHY -
That moment people assume you don't know things because you are generally quiet because they are around their friends. Uhm, I got the job and had to go through months of interviews, tests, video chats, probation periods and got the job almost 3 months earlier than I should and got promoted to a better team, you don't see me trying to demean your job as a call center consultant here around all the developers I know. Just lemme drink my coffee in peace :(
-
The task: Catch and log this specific error in this one function.
Me: While I'm here, let me just -
git: 12 files changed3 -
Get to work, turn on PC, discover update you scheduled for 10pm Friday didn't finish, sit here for an hour and a half waiting for it to finish.
5 -
"Just let me know when you're done (today) with that handful of JIRA tickets that are not reproducible, have no description, and include no error information. We need to get them into the next release."
Yeah. Yeah, I'll let you know real soon. -
Something you really should not do:
*adds a new feature*
*build & run*
*See no difference*
Me: "Hmm.. Maybe 1 is not the best test integer, let me pick something higher..."
*build & run*
*INTEGER OVERFLOW EXCEPTION*
Feel free to share your "let me choose anothee test integer"-stories, which gone terribly wrong.1 -
The people who run these scheduling meetings need to remember that this building is just one big tinder box ready to go up in smoke. 30+ minutes talking about bull shit that only affects a small percentage of the team. AND we're behind and dealing with a push that happened on a Friday before the guy who wrote the code left for vacation to go to Tennessee to watch the eclipse for some reason.
-
When I need to talk to another office in my company about how one of their codebases works the weirdest thing happens. I end up on a call after local business hours with people who don't write code and thus cannot help me.
I show them the error I'm getting trying to run their shit and I get a high level buzzword filled spiel about the project that makes no actual sense. They use these technical words like federated and dynamic but they don't make sense in the contexts they're using them. And they don't answer my goddamn questions.
It turned out their debug config file was gitignored. -
Alright! What's this hype on another X language/framework. Let me just jump right in because that will make me a cool kid.2
-
Fuck me my head is detached.
Let me get out the tinker toys to decide what to do next.
Jesus help me.11 -
Oh my gosh... IT Helpdesk people piss me off!!!!! Get the fuck out of my way let me fix my own problem, give me admin rights! Damnit
-
With the prospect of copying and pasting the same method 23 times looming ahead of me, I begin to wonder if maybe my predecessors didn't understand the point of interfaces
-
so that's not how you play jenga?
my O C D won't let me be
let me be me so let me see
they tried to shut me on MTV . .
-
I hate writing those user manuals, answering emails and describing planned solutions...
Just let me code! -
Should I stay with Win10Home on my laptop, or upgrade to Education edition? (Cuz my school let me do it)2
-
There are no program's faster in letting me jump of mountain than mysql workbench. For fuck sake, every action I need to wait for 5 seconds to let it respond. Let me do my work please.5
-
when you can clearly see an object property you want to access and check against in web browser debugger but you're too stupid to figure out how to get typescript let you access it in code
fuck you SyntheticElement< >
i hate front end and it hates me back
just let me look at target.nodeName1 -
Anyone do anything other than read the kanban board to the PM at the standup? Read it yourself and let me code dammit, I could change the columns those cards are in if you’d just let me.3
-
When I work extra hours on weekends, so I can finally take a break from Microsoft Word and write some code for a change. It's going on for a second week now, if not longer 😢
-
Got a ton of work? naaah let me completely refactor my dotfiles and vimrc https://github.com/cousine/dotfiles
-
Let me show you something:
let a=[
1-3,
5-35,
5*7,
77/4
,4%5,
7==7,
6_2,
3&&3,
4&&2,
"f"&&"c"
]
document.write(a)
actually, it works...12 -
"This is an easy task, call me when it's done"
5 months later
"well the test of senduser didn't pass"
Me: "this wasn't on the docu"
"oh, let me rewrite it" -
Me: Let's try the ballmer peak
One Beer
Other Beers
One Cuba Libre
Two Cuba Libres
Me: I think I'm ready let me take the test
Result: 93/100
mmm Interesting, let me try more.
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