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Another programming job: the first 5,183 decimals of pi, in wood sticks. Took me three months to do. Now I start e
36 -
Three years into studying software engineering and three quarters of my class have no idea what git is.
But by gosh, can we code the shit out of a tic tac toe game.18 -
Today I saw this in our code base:
private static final int THREE = 3;
To do this:
rating += THREE;
I laughed, and cried a little.8 -
Teacher: Homework for next time is to make 2 web pages with three javascript.
* whole class is quiet *
Me: What's "three JavaScript"
T: undefined
M: Do you mean three files?
T: No, I mean three JavaScript.
M: Okay, so let's go with five CSS and twelve HTML as well then...
Please, go somewhere else when you can't explain your OWN HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. Holy fuck.16 -
Side projects what got me job three times. Move your lazy ass and work on your projects AND actually finish at least one 😒15
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I see people posting setups so I will share mine. three 27" Asus monitors. left for viewing site, mid for code, right for db :)
13 -
My 4yo monster just randomly told me:
"Mommy! One plus two plus three plus four plus five equals fifteen!"
I'm so proud.
And really surprised 🤔
I've been teaching him basic math (adding and subtracting numbers 0-20), but haven't gone beyond two operations / three numbers.10 -
My only issue with Microsoft buying Github is that it's one more step towards full almighty power for the tech giants. Soon everything will be Microsoft, or Google, or Facebook. It'll be like in Demolition Man, where every restaurant is Taco Bell/Pizza Hut.8
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User: We can not register three users on your website, it allowed us to register only first one
Me: What does it say? Some kind of error? Tell me so I can reproduce.
User: Well it says email address is already taken
Me: Uh...
- so yeah, they tried to register three users under the same email address.7 -
"Pythonists don't comment, they write readable code."
Yea, tell that to the list comprehension with three lambdas21 -
The time my sister dropped the external HDD with every single picture of our family between 2000-2009.
I was 16 at the time, and it made me paranoid like I am today.
Three offsites backups, and three local ones currently and always trying to do expand.9 -
She: I want to hear those three magical words.
Me: Um....Lorem Ipsum Dolor...?
We never met after that.8 -
tl;dr I need ideas on how to warn the next dev(s) that the company is a dumpster fire.
------
For the past week (actual time: three days) I've been writing documentation for work, since there isn't any. It's been okay, I guess. Certainly more interesting than anything else I've done at work in months.
I'm up to 10k words / 67kb of markdown, and I think I'm done. I could easily write another 30k words on everything, but I just can't care enough.
However, what I do care about is warning the next dev(s) about how terrible the place is to work, so I want to add little references or hints or other such things to my writing. To complicate that, there's a contractor dev who said he will edit the document to strip out my commentary and make it "friendly" for the next person. (I can kind of see why: I've been quite honest about the situation of everything, and it's pretty dire. If they read it as-is, they might just walk out the door. I certainly would have.) I'm also going to commit it to the repo, and afaik he doesn't have push rights, so he can't force-push and remove it. (and a force-push by someone else, adding my documentation immediately after I leave... that would be pretty fishy, too.)
Anyway, at someone's suggestion, I added a "three envelopes" reference in the access phrase generator section. I also wrote "Promises made outside of ES6 will not resolve" -- in the warning section of a document almost entirely about Rails. (because the boss has broken every single promise he has ever made me.)
What other hints and subtle warnings could I add?
(And hurry: tomorrow is my last day! ;3)16 -
Code isn't just something that you can just learn in three months. Stop the clickbait articles plz.
6 -
You only get three wishes.
I wish for more wishes.
I can't do that. Only three are allowed.
Sudo I wish for more wishes.
OK, here's more wishes!2 -
Christmas came early for my coworker. He wanted 6 monitors, IT is giving him three Samsungs in portrait.
4 -
That moment when you google the error...
find the same query on three different sites...
realise that all three were posted by the same user...
and all three are unanswered.. 😑7 -
!$rant
Made this last night :) it pulls all my profile info from devrant and my last three rants.
16 -
Remove the d from dfox.
Fox has three words.
Triangle has three edges.
Therefore dfox is illuminati12 -
How I feel working with code that's been worked on by at least three different teams at three different companies over the past couple of years and not a single person has left any comments or documentation.
6 -
Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm, with toilet breaks, snack breaks and a three hour nap on Sunday morning. Roughly 44 hours. It was a hackathon, Nov 2016. My team came in fourth place and the first three teams went to Germany!
Well, I got a well paying attachment from it so it didn't go all to waste.
Me and my laptop then...
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Day three of trying to get WiFi working. No end in sight. Temperatures are rising, water is scarce; must drink rum for sustenance.23
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When you start programming and ten minutes later you see you've been progamming for three hours and you're like WHATTAFACK JUST HAPPENED2
-
Wife ( working from home; to husband ) : how many whistles did the pressure cooker blow?
Husband : How am I supposed to know? I don't know!
Manager ( on Skype ) : Three! I heard three whistles!5 -
It gives me utmost pleasure knowing that even people at Google forgot to remove the link to Orkut for three years!
14 -
On a three hour plane ride, and the wifi is down 😨. Three hours of programming without stack overflow... 😤
12 -
there are three kinds of programmers
foo () {
// those who use this
}
foo ()
{
// those who do this
}
for () { } // and theres this14 -
Just managed to turn on and off three led with my phone on a raspberry and i feel like a fucking god !2
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I'm starting to get the feeling that my boss is three 5 year old's standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat4
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Three weeks of vacation. Finally I‘ll have time to delay my side projects every day until the end of vacation.4
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former boss wrote three cyber-defense books. had his "collections" team sending plaintext passwords to high-side clients over unsecured email4
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Teacher: what is 1 + 1?
kid : I don't know
Teacher: Ok! you have one man and one women, how many are there?
Kid: Three.
Teacher: how?
Kid: There was my mom and dad, when they add up we become three.
Teacher: %(;:)--,^$2 -
When you struggle three nights in a row to meet a deadline and the customer goes "Great, I'll test it next week"
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FUCK capitalist greed! I have befallen to their tricks once again. The daily dosage on my gummy vitamins was three a day but the total gummies in the container wasn't divisible by three so I had to buy three containers and eat one from each per day!21
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I spent three hours making a custom color scheme for my instance of visual studio. Almost every color in it is a variation on hot pink. I've used it every day for the last three years.
The background is black, though, because I'm not a complete animal.8 -
Today my RAID system for backups crashed. Three hard drives died all the same time. This day cannot get even worse.14
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Found three questions on different websites, each describing exactly the problem I'm having right now. Neither one of them has a solution... FUCK.4
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Ive got three rooms I might work in, currently my desktop is in my VR dev room where the lights are broken.
14 -
Three differently sized monitors freakes me out, but apparently that doesn't motivate buying new monitors at work 🙃😔
4 -
Three word story:
I saw the infinity rant @linuxer4fun created and got inspired--it's about time we write one of those somewhat nasty, utterly random, amazingly sophisticated three word stories (spanning unto eternity!)
This means I start by writing three words, somebody else responds to that with three words, keeping within the context of the previous one, with the ultimate goal of writing an epic tale together (of dragons and stuff!)
You're not allowed to write a comment if the previous comment is yours:
if (comment.previous ().owner == you)
return false;109 -
Project manager asks why server is down. Reminded him that his team lead told me three months ago it was no longer needed.
-
Now even messenger has stories! :-(
When will this end!? And why the hell does Facebook need three versions of stories, in three different apps!?5 -
My bank sent me THREE identical letters for switching my account!
So what do we think, system or user error?
5 -
My favorite thing on my desk would be my laptop.
If only it hadn't DIED three months ago after being impossibly slow for three months before that.
RIP you useless machine, RI bloody P ._.
11 -
To get a PhD in three years. Half way in, absolutely unrealistic but that's a hill I'm willing to die on! ⚔️
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Random PTO sick day request on a Monday, approved within minutes.
Schedule a PTO request for six days off three months in advance?
Pending for three weeks.
Sigh.1 -
Hahahahaa.. being coding for three hours long.. just to realize i have only put a dashboard on my web page :D
16 -
Continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/4720819/...
So here we go, the start of day three. A bit of pain in the hips from a badly balanced backpack, but after some adjustments to the contents of my backpack I think I'm ready for another day. 20 km, here we go!
3 -
Three of my least favorite things people say: and google is basically teaching people to speak this way. : /
12 -
Debugging stage always consist of three phases:
1. It doesn't work.
2. It works.
3. It definitely works :)2 -
So our team is scaling and we've been handling increased workload and I've been wanting to hire two juniors ever since. Finally narrowed down the candidates to three, but I couldn't decide between them so after some careful considerations, I've decided to hire all three. Fingers crossed I have enough time to mentor and manage the three of them and I don't fuck them up.1
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Jamin' with the big three OS' at once.
Start a build and code/debug the next one.
#devLife
#Entrepreneurs
7 -
Gotta love it when you've just hit your pace with a project and then the requirements change...
Three times in a row...3 -
Four beers with an expiry date of 2022. What do you do? Easy, drink three so you don't care about the expiry date of the fourth and enjoy.
Didn't tag it as joke because it's seriously what I just did12 -
The longest vacation I took in my last job was only for three days. I didn't touch a computer for those three days.2
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Funny how this company implements policies like a big enterprise when we only maintain three small apps2
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My work gave me three laptops because not one of them can access all the resources I need. So I have to balance my workflow around these three machines.9
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Back with more features now!
Cuz I don't have anything to do at work
This image is composed of screenshots from season three
3 -
I've been meaning to mention for the pass three months that my Java Programming class has "Leet" in it's course number.
-
Got the first payment of the next contract after a three month slump! The first slump since leaving university.
Time to pay devRant for Sanity Preservation Services for three months. 🤗2 -
Recently attended a meeting about lessening the frequency of meetings and making them more productive. After three hours, it was decided that we needed to block out three more meetings in the future to follow up on this topic.
-
Almost three years with the same salary. And my LinkedIn inbox full.
I'm really starting to think about going for a change...8 -
It's official. After almost three weeks off and hardly any sleep, I've forgotten how to do my job. This could be a problem.6
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Lets fix this bug in production on a Friday afternoon. (did that three times on the same project). Never went wrong :)3
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Time for a full refactor. Everyone can go home for three days while I unfuck every page and pattern.
-
So far i've been asked at least three times this week if i like it here.
I consider this a disadvantage...
7 -
When the anxiety has made your brain stop working and the procrastination has been going strong for three days already. Yeehaw, motherfuckers.2
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Fuck CORS.
Three hours into trying to make it fucking work... YES BROWSER I ALLOWED ALL ORIGINS WHY DONT YOU WORK 😭😭5 -
Why isn't the follow button more intuitively placed, without going through a separate menu? I found it just by accidentally pressing the three dots.1
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When three out of your five classes at school have to deal with computers or programming you almost want to go to school5
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Seriously need three screens at work.
The third screen's sole purpose will be to have devrant open so I don't get bored.1 -
Just discovered the 3 cartoons on youtube from Dev rant and really enjoyed them. Quite funny. What I dont like is there are only 3 and they were so short. Looks like they were made a few years ago. Why did you stop making them? Please make more!5
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The most shittiest feeling in competitive programming is when your code passes all the test cases except the last three. 🤓😌2
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1) Open-source Windows based on a Linux kernel with full Direct-X compatibility.
...that counts as three.3 -
Heya @Fast-Nop
Here's to your many sevens (7).
Beautiful assembly, perfect with that leading three (3).
Cheers mate
5 -
The Hydra regrows three heads for every head chopped off. Just like fixing bugs. For every fixed bug three new pop up.
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"Today was a good day, I didn't have to context switch between three different frameworks." -- Ice Cube2
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Lots of hate for Apple today on devrant. I go all three ways so I don't really take sides. They all have there purposes.4
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I was developing an Android app during college training. I made the app in three days, actually, three nights.
Three consecutive nights of only coding had its toll on me. I got burned out.
I couldn't even look at my laptop. Every code I looked made me want to throw up. That's how much burned out I was.
Well, after three more days, the feelings of throwing up receded, and I was back on track.
This was my second worst burned out experience. -
three days ago my manager force me to complete a huge android app in one week, alone😑
this project contract signed three years ago😑 and my manager every day lie to contractor 👹
i`m new in office and now he wants fuck me 🙄
one week piece shit😡
so whats your idea to safe me😶9 -
When they ask you what you want to do for the next three months.
You give them an answer then poof.
Those are the list of your dream work.1 -
I started at a what is now called a brogrammer shop. While the three owners were probably 50 and older, there was little design outside of the owner's dreams. We busted out programs in the new language C# in three tier architecture with an Access backend. It was fun but when the economy went south I got laid off after about a year.
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I've been writing various forms of OOP for three years and just now learned exactly what static means
-
+50℃ in New York, every day, for three months straight, every summer. Only then they will realize the climate change is real.10
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If I have, say, three moderately complex tasks to complete in a week, I'll finish them in two days. When I have three moderately complex tasks to finish in 2 days I won't even start any of them until the last minute.
Procrastination is the worst.1 -
The problem: callback hell. Code would be indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to do some async work. Your code would end with thirty lines of closing curly brackets
Solution: async and await.
The problem, reborn: NoSQL. Code is indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to run a query. Your query ends with thirty lines of closing curly brackets.4 -
Three months ago I called function smartToggle(). And now I don't understand what this very smart shit is doing2
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Three weeks of spending at least three hours with my computer everyday, and my back is officially in pain.
Funny how priorities change. Now I really want to invest in a good chair or maybe a beanbag.4 -
The polio vaccine inventor could've made three billion dollars by patenting it, but instead gave it away for free.3
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Just received a client who needed me to add content to his website. I do provide content adding services where clients have to provide all the content I will add to their website.
The only problem is that this client gave me the content for his about page, which only consists of three sentences. Seems simple? Well the three sentences are big enough to be considered three paragraphs!1 -
Slacking off in Hawaii or running for my life.
Depends if that three laws thingy was implemented bug free.4 -
I'm starting day three trying to solve a Dependency Hell issue which is preventing a bug fix being deployed.
Please help.4 -
load balanced three micro nodejs instances with Apache in my local system. load performance improved by 50% straight.6
-
Problem: Our three tools are not tracking what we're working on / done.
Solution: Need a fourth tool, or maybe just more moving back and forth between the three tools.
Expectation: We'll be more efficient.3 -
So I get three wishes, right? Great! I wish I lose 3 wishes.
By that logic I start at three, minus one for the wish, and then proceed to lose another three leaving me at -1. So by our logic, we’d be back at 3 due to underflow.
To exploit this, make one genuine wish and then ask to lose two wishes, underflowing again.
It’s all in how you play the game.8 -
Yo developers.
Why do they choose different dates for server ?
We are having a three different server with three different dates. Why? TIA.2 -
Back in college, during the Final year project vivas, I really tried to explain what we had built in the first viva and spoke some gibberish shit in the other three vivas.
Other three vivas were good.
#BackInCollegeSeries -
! Rant
Even after seeing it's less than twenty words and less than three lines my fellow devs managed to...[read more]1 -
Just how can I get the stressball? I know! Im gonna write down three word. Just... Randomly...
Rant:
Fuck, JavaScript, coffe -
Finally figured out big I had in my code after three days. Now I’m screaming “Eureka” feeling like Archimedes 🤘🏿🤓
-
Anyone who wants to check out Enki, use the code below!
Invite Code: UZIIU169
The code is limited to three people!16 -
So how does dead code from 2007 still exist in this codebase, better yet why were there three of the exact same page literally no differences lmfao. Spent a moment having confused QA guys talk to me getting me confused because they couldn't replicate the solution that had been applied to all three versions of the page.
-
int three = 3;
// several lines after
something.setMaxValue(three);
Oh, Junior... not again...
I just hope that the max value never changes to 4. -
It was amazing getting into programming in high school about three years ago, programming Lego robots with my team. Coolest project till date.
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I feel really dumb when I've spent the last three days trying to understand how Sass works and how to actually make it run.3
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eleven billion, seven hundred twenty-three million, five hundred twelve thousand, three hundred sixty-eight hashes later and I still haven't found the vanity address I'm looking for 😴...
-
When nobody acknowledges testing as a proper and important task: My boss gives my three week to develop a small app - I remind him that testing has to be done and he replies: "OK, you get three weeks and two days for testing"2
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I hate coding tests for a job interview. I've done three types:
1) university style of "write function that does x" (fizz buzz)
2) this code has a bug, fix it
3) write a program that does this university style contrived thing (exact change)
One and two usually are timed to 10 to 15 minutes per question. Three is untimed but unstated "time counts".
Off all three, the last one is the best in my opinion. However it still seem like we could come up with something better.1 -
Have project 4 presentation today that looks worse than some other students' project three presentation 🙃. Still proud of it though!2
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So i’m jobless and looking for something new. I had three interviews today and i always mention i’m doing a self study on React.js atm.
However after this i also got asked how i want to develop myself in the future and i’m like: wtf? Are you even paying attention here?
Three interviews is a lot. Time for beer! Have a nice weekend!4 -
Instead of adopting the ` character to represent multi-line string literals like JavaScript, Swift opts for three consecutive double-quotes. """ smh4
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Had so much fun doing crowd-programming to troubleshoot an issue at work yesterday! Because, you know, three is a crowd. ;-)
-
Not a rant, but I'd love to see three top notch developers, doing a coding challenge, in the same language, without any text editors, IDE's, compilers ( other than pre-installed ones ) when they start, working on 'their' most unfamiliar OS; the three OS options being Linux, Windows & OSX.
Any opinions on who might complete first?6 -
If there are only three tabs on Google Chrome, how can there be 9 services running on the system?
Any medium can explain?23 -
MacOS terminal -> Windows 10 Local Network -> Ubuntu session. Every key I strike gets touched by three different operating systems running on my desk.1
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The one time I tried acid, my peak consisted of first three boxes of alternating 1s & 0s followed by an error 404 hallucination
-
Last year we had a meeting to discuss lessening the frequency of meetings and let people work more of the day. After a three hours, it was decided that nothing was getting solved, resulting in three more meetings to be added to the calendar to follow up.
-
someone please tell me what the difference between these three are? apparently there's a difference but i really can't tell :/8
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trying for three hours to understand why an error occurs. adding one log statement. reloading. everything works... 😡3
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Fuckin shit web hosts! I must have wasted three hours over the past three days on support emailing, troubleshooting and waiting for a webpage to load. Is a decent host at a decent cost too much to ask for?
-
Three meetings a week imposed by "manager" to keep the project on pace...
10m before the last three meetings (everyone from the meeting via email): "Skip it? No updates here"
...I think we need a "project manager" -
Just wrote a small program for university to calculate the intersection of three lines (they should meet in one point). Well sometimes I had a issue so I just calculated all three points and took the points which are the same.
If it's stupid and works it ain't stupid2 -
When your version control is a bunch of rar files scattered across three different desktops in three different computers2
-
After working on three separate products for a day I've realised I developed a new thing end to end development!
-
Hello Renter,
what are the three (3) extensions of your favorite browser that you cannot do without in your daily workflow?11 -
At work we are currently planing to migrate our source code to the latest compiler version. But I don’t think that we will migrate everything from the old version to the new version this time. Then we have to use three different compiler versions at the same time, with three different IDE versions. And how many VMs are you using at work?
-
Changing the relations between three key entities two weeks before the launch is just like changing Austria Gp with Spain Gp for Ferrari
-
My homies really out here giving me three units to test spread out across two + four thirds of a file and expect me not to raise an eyebrow.
No, that is not three + one third. That would imply that the thirds all belong to one unit, or one file for that matter. -
WTF I got YT subscription of three months from flipkart. now while claming YT asking for card info :(4
-
What am I doing today? Waiting.
"Build Status: Running for 18.3 minutes."
I've done this three times so far today.1 -
three places where exceptions are being thrown...
They all got the same error message
#happydebugging2 -
What universities do you recommend to study CS in France? I need to have three options. Any help is appreciated :)6
-
IF I see something infinite and more than three.
and never more than three in real world.
I use recursion.
because who knows, people are crazy.
myself included. -
Working in the phrase "Tighten up the graphics on level three" into as many serious meetings as possible.
-
English:
"I'm a liar."
Supposing I tell the truth, I'm not a liar. But that would mean that I am a liar, since I said that I am a liar.
Assuming I did not tell the truth, I would be a liar. But since I said the truth, I would not be a liar.
If one starts from the classical logic, one can make no logical statement. If one starts from the three-valued logic, I would say that "unknown" (u, ½
Is that true, what do you mean?
German:
"Ich bin ein Lügner."
Angenommen, ich würde die Wahrheit sagen, bin ich keine Lügner. Dies würde aber bedeuten dass ich ein Lügner bin, da ich ja gesagt habe dass ich ein Lügner bin.
Angenommen ich würde nicht die Wahrheit sagen, wäre ich ein Lügner. Aber da ich die Wahrheit gesagt habe wäre ich kein Lügner.
Wenn man von der klassischen logik ausgeht, kann man keine logische Aussage machen. Wenn man von der Dreiwertige Logik ausgeht, würde ich sagen, das "unbekannt"(u, ½) rauskommt.
Stimmt das, was meinst du?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
https://code.sololearn.com/cFvKb3r8...14 -
The three body problem in work place: having 3 directors, each in charge of different area. It is a real chaos when there is a proposal need to be passed by all three.
-
Hey three, ..hey Three....., hey THREE!
Why does your mesh scale method take
Height......
First?
Have you heard of x?
How about y?
Maybe x,y?
Maybe width,height?
BUT HEIGHT?
THEN WIDTH?
WTF
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