Playing 'Skip-Bo' with my daughter.
She: "Why isn't there a zero in this game? You know...0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...."

MY daughter ❤️.

1. Doesnt want to pay for server
2. Doesnt want to pay for disk
3. Doesnt want to pay at all
3. Wants the app in 1 week

🤔 If developers were linguists...

Person 1: How do you say "????" in Italian?

Person 2: Why don't you use Japanese? It's a much better language.

How to become a developer in 2016:

Step 1: Install Linux
Step 2: Brag everywhere that you've installed Linux and removed Windows
Step 3: ?????

You are now a developer

1. Forgot my password.
2. Clicked "Forgot" password button.
3. Received my forgotten password as plain text in my email

Boss 1: You have such a dedicated team of workers, how do you make them all come in time?
Boss 2: Its simple, 30 employees, 20 parking spaces.

HR Project update meeting.
Duration: 1h
Content:
1) recap of previous meeting
2) overview of what we will discuss in next meeting.

windows updates in 3..2..1

‪How to get your Jira ticket resolved:‬

‪1: Assign in it the person‬
‪2: Mention him on the ticket‬
‪3: Remember the ticket number ‬
‪4: Sneak into his office‬
‪5: ‬

** Fanboys getting triggered in 3...2..1 **

OCD people losing their shit in 3, 2, 1...

1. You will write ugly code. Code that is in dire need of refactoring almost immediately.

2. You will write brilliant code. Functions and algorithms that will impress all that use them.

3. 1 & 2 are not mutually exclusive. Good software can be written poorly, beautifully written code can be useless. At the end of the day, just get the job done.

Confession of the day:
1. I work in release mode
2. I work on the main branch only
3. I test on production

10-1 AM - 4 of us got drunk.
2-4 AM - 2 hours straight coding, solving big-ass problems
10 AM - Fucking hangover and python code in a java project!

1/2
This app's change log is hilarious 😂
I want to smoke what they smoked while writing it.
Part 2 in next rant 😂

Annoyingly typical office conversation:

Person 1: "Good morning."
Person 2: "Good morning, how are you?"
Person 1: "Good. How are you?"
Person 2: "Good."
Person 1: "Good."

NO! Not good, fuckers. I hear this all day long, come up with something real or original. Talk about the massive shit you just took, or how hard you're taking the news about Diablo Immortal. It reminds me of that scene in Office Space with the repetitive call center lady, lol.

Cook A:
1 - Makes a soup
2 - Leaves a mess

Company: ☺️ What a nice cook, here's your promotion to senior Cook.

Cook B:
1 - Cleans kitchen
2 - Makes soup
3 - Cleans after themself

Company: 😡 What took you so long!? Cook A made it in 1/3 of the time.

This is the pattern I've seen so far in development... and it's sad

1. Started to program Python 3
2. Thought of doing a little program just for fun
3. Now 1 1/2 years in developing state with nearly 3000 lines of code and 11 modules
4. Python skills :)

Expecting Apple fan boys' comments in 3..2..1 !

Theres only 2 kinds of people in this world:

1. var username;
2. var user_name;

Hint: one of them will burn in hell

Try this line of javascript in a browser:

<pre id=p><script>n=setInterval("for(n+=7,i=k,P='p.\\n';i-=1/k;P+=P[i%2?(i%2*j-j+n/k^j)&1:2])j=k/i;p.innerHTML=P",k=64)</script>

There are two types of dumb people in our office:
1.Those who try to open a .exe file with Word.
2.Those who ask me why the file is not opening.

Coworker 1: Ugh, what name should I give this variable? Any idea?

Coworker 2: Doesn't matter that much. Just give it a name.

Coworker 1: ** Types in "albert" **

1. Applied to a tech company based in Seattle
2. Interviewed
3. Got rejected because "At the moment, they do not hire international students."

Then, why did you interview me in the first place? :')

Idealistic goals:
1. Learn python
2. Start a project and see it through

Realistic goals:
1. Learn how to initialize variables in python
2. Make plans for 2019

Trust me, I've been doing this for years.

Best way to deal with numbers in JavaScript:

let x = "1"
x += "1" // add one
x.length // get value of number, 2

How millionaires deal with laptops.

1. Buy a gaming laptop.
2. Install any OS.
3. Open IE11.
4. Place cursor in the new search bar in top right.
5. Type 4k wallpapers.
6. Download anything.
7. Open in MS Photos.
8. Right click, Set as > Wallpaper BG
9. Leave it in the corner.
10. Sell it at double 2 days later.

Overheard this conversation today:
1: look at this! My shiny new iPhone can measure stuff!
2: how accurate is it?
1: not very, it is pretty buggy.
2: how did the bugs get in there?
3: it is an apple so

It was a basic java lesson. We had four values that we stored in a array. We had to make some calculations with the values. Then we had to sort those four values. That's the solution our teacher proposed:
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[2] > arr[3]) {
int temp = arr[2];
arr[2] = arr[3];
arr[3] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}
if (arr[1] > arr[2]) {
int temp = arr[1];
arr[1] = arr[2];
arr[2] = temp;
}
if (arr[0] > arr[1]) {
int temp = arr[0];
arr[0] = arr[1];
arr[1] = temp;
}

Drunk Dev 1: These wifi signals are really take toll of brain tissues and may probably cause brain cancer. 🙁

Drunk Dev 2: Let’s power off our wifi router. We don’t need wifi while drinking. 😏

Drunk Dev 1: Good, but what about other wifi signals in proximity. Your neighbours ?? 🤨

Drunk Dev 2: Oh poor, they wont get into our brains as our brains don’t have password for their wifi thus, we can’t connect to their access point 😎

Drunk Dev 1: 😳

When you see a Java devotee using Python and they're doing something like this:

array = [1, 2, 3, 4]
for n in range(0,len(array)):
print(array[n])

At least I get to tell them "hey it doesn't have to be so hard just do it like this:"

array = [1, 2, 3, 4]
for n in array:
print(n)

Alone on valentines?
1: Buy 100s of plastic rings
2: Hide in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant
3: Put rings in glasses of champagne
4: Watch

1. Better pay.
2. Better Dev work.
3. An xbox/PS4 in office.
4. Better planning.

The four hard things in CS are

1. cache invalidation
2. naming
3. off-by-one errors.

- Did someone tested it on our test machines?
- No there was no time to do this.
*preparing for nuclear fallout from customer in 3..2..1..*

Overheard 2 colleagues having an interesting telephonic meeting late night at my room.
Dev 1: Wait. I am trying to fix it.
Dev 2: Ok. Take your time
Dev 1: Shit. I found it. I knew I was doing something wrong here.
Dev 2: Oh. Nice. What was the bug?
Dev 1: It was a super silly mistake. Don't want to tell. Folks will laugh at me.
Dev 2: Don't worry. It happens with everyone. Come tomorrow at office, and whisper it in my ears. Noone will know.

My plan:
1. Draw the logo in paper with black marker
2. Scan with the infamous printer
3. Load in GIMP
4. Edit some parts
5. Put some colors
6. Print or save as image file
7. Use everywhere

As I start to do step 2, I noticed something VERY wrong.

FML

What NOT to create in 2018:
1. macOS note taking apps in Electron
2. Text editors in Electron
3. Pretty much everything in Electron
4. “Simple” and “minimalistic” programming languages
5. Web frameworks

How to be a great developer - 101

1. Write Code
2. scrap it
3. Rewrite in a better way..

Repeat! 😂

Always answer these 2 questions in your commit message: (1) what will happen if this commit applied? (2) why this change is being made?

Dear windows 10

I won't mind a weekly 30 minutes update but...

My ubuntu connects to wifi in 2 seconds
My lubuntu connects to wifi in 2 seconds
My archlinux connects in 1 second(don't ask why)
My raspbian starts up and connects in 10 seconds

WHY WOULD YOU TAKE MORE THAN A SYSTEMS BOOTING PROCESS TO GET CONNECTED?

Saw time in a digital clock (HH:MM) [05:14] thought I should take a 1 minute break and decided to start at 05:15.

2 seconds later its 05:15......fuuuuuuuuuuuu

How to be a successful developer:
1. Identify a problem that you don't know the answer to.
2. Spend 10 minutes searching Google for a solution, trying various keyword combos.
3. Click the link to the solution in Stackoverflow.
4. Find the solution with the most +1's.
5a. If solution looks good, implement the solution in your code.
5b. If solution is not applicable, return to step 2.
6. Test your implementation.
7a. If the problem is solved, bask in the glory of success and return to step 1.
7b. If the problem is not solved, move your hand vigorously through your hair, pulling out several strands. Exhale loudly. Next return to step 2.

API endpoint 1: needs dates in utc formatting

API endpoint 2: needs dates formatted yyyy-mm-dd

There are three types of people in this world:

1. "objdump"
2. "object dump"
3. "oh bee jay dump"

Ruby’s fanciness bit me in the butt today. It’s pretty rare, but often confusing AF when it happens.

array = [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7]
array.count +1 +2
# => 1
What the fuck?

array.count +1 +2 +3
# => 1
What the fuck?

+1 +2 +3
# => 6
Okay.

(array.count +1 +2 +3)
# => 1
What the fuck?

(7 +1 +2 +3)
# => 13
Okay...

array.count + 1 + 2 + 3
# => 13
Alright, so spaces matter here...?

((array.count) +1 +2 +3)
# => 13
But not here!? ... Oh. I think I know what’s going on.

Array#count
Returns the number of elements. If an argument is given, counts the number of elements which equal it using ==

Well fuck me.

Ruby is seeing `array.count(+1+2+3)` instead of `array.count()+1+2+3` since `+1` is a value, not an operator followed by a value as is the case with `+ 1`.

Now, why was I using +1 +2 instead of adding some spaces like I normally would? So they would match what was in the comment next to them for easier reference. Heh.

Future dev, I did this for you! So this is all your fault. :|

Let's see the coder in you.
If I give input: 1 output: 2
If I give input: 2 output:1
Only these two test cases needed.
You should not use control structures such as if,else,for,while,switch etc. (The answer is simple) (Don't cheat)

int number;
cin>>number; //get number
cout<<??????; //Your code

1. Participate in an online hackathon
2. Upload demo video to youtube
3. Submit in the last minute
4. Come back 1 hour later to see video removed due to length violation.

FML :(

1.) Make Linux slightly more popular on the desktops.

2.) Windows 11 is actually a Linux distro.

3.) Let JavaScript burn in hell

Every Group Project in CS Major
Group 1:- Hey group 2 what project are you making ..?
Group 2:- Can't tell , Top Secret

FINAL Day:-
Group 1:- Railway Ticket Booking System
Group 2:-Railway Ticket Authorization System

Evaluators :- I think I saw similar idea somewhere....😂

*Fun with Javascript
`Math.ceil(1.0000000000000001) // output = 1`
`Math.ceil(1.000000000000001) // output = 2`

I hope it'll lit a spark in your mind.

THE RULES OF TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Rule #1: The Customer Lies
Rule #2: Rule #1 still applies when the customer is your coworker
Rule #3: Customers following instructions is like characters dying in a movie: if it didn't happen on-screen, it didn't happen.

I was about to use the Duolingo but I think it triggered me to hard. 2 mistakes in a row.

1. I have Portuguese origins and they used the Brazilian flag

2. I was born in Luxemburg and they just used our flag for The Netherlands (I know they're pretty similar but cmooooon)

Best mentoring advice I've gotten:

In your career you'll meet three kinds of people.
1) Nice people
2) Indifferent people
3) Not nice people

Treat them all in the same way. That's professionalism.

Colleagues talking among themselves about gods, form of higher power, etc.

Colleague 1: *to colleague 2* So you believe in superhumans?

Colleague 2: I believe in God.

Colleague 1: *to me* What about you?

Me: Yeah. Superhumans exist. I have to deal with them everyday. Because stupidity levels that high aren't practically possible in normal humans.

>Instructions in the manual -
1. Install Python 3.5
2. After installation is complete, open a new terminal/command prompt window and run 'pip install pandas'
3. Done!

>Client
1. Installs Python 3.7.2
2. Types Python in command prompt, types 'pip install pandas' there
3. Raises a hue and cry over the program not working because the instructions were not clear

Smfh...

To my friends in Ireland, stay safe tomorrow, it's probably going to be nasty storm. Good luck and
1. Git commit
2. git push
3. git out

My coffee to water ratio in a cup is starting to be 1/2. I'm worried in the future I will be eating coffee not drink it anymore 😂

Steps to writing Javascript in 2018:
1. mkdir and touch necessary files.
2. install and configure babel.
35. Start configuring webpack.
900. open app.js

Reading the comments in a piece of code:
{
//Step 1 save stuff in a list
code();
//Step 3 Update the controls
morecode();
//Step 4 Resize the UI
somecode();
}

//Me thinking: where the f*ck is Step 2?

Would you rather...?

1) Be bored in an ethical company.
2) Be active in a corrupt company.

How to solve a problem in 7 steps.
1. Google
2. Open links
3. Read
4. Copy
5. Paste
6. Run
7. Repeat until solve

Wtf!
0. My name is not Den
1. I never registered an account at Wallmart
2. I don't live in the USA
3. How the fuck did my e-mail end up in their DB

1. talked to a dev and found out he never used git
2. saw a guy formatting the code in eclipse line by line, even when eclipse provides automatic formatting.

DELETE FROM TABLE invoices.

The next week was spent inputing the data by hand because:

Who needs database back-ups?

I want to do 3 things in life:

1. Learn new technologies and don't work at all just learning.
2. Play video games.
3. Eat without getting over weight.

Two programmers have been arrested and currently sit in a jail cell.

Programmer 1: Hey I think we had too much too drink.
Programmer 2: I believe that is a logically assumption.
Officer: You have a phone call.
Programmer 1: Yes, it's my lawyer!

Phone: Is Steve Smith ?
Programmer 1: Yes, who is this?
Phone: Hi, this is Jane calling from Tech Hub Recruiting....
Programmer 1: HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!

1. Success in supporting my wife for her personal goals

2. Quality time with my family, especially with my daughter

3. Maintain my current brain abilities

Do you ever have the feeling that you did 2 days of work in 1 day?

1 - when I actually got the point of OOP

2 - When I got that I could check if a number was odd or even by doing & 1

3 - (in the future) when I will understand lifetimes in rust.

Fav items on my desk:
#1: "Rubber duck" and stressball all in one
#2: my motivation to keep working so I can afford this car some time :D

This snippet was found in Thanos’ bash history:

```
ps Sh | sort -R | awk 'NR % 2 {print $1}' | xargs sudo kill -9
```

Estimating the task. A total of... 2 months.

Other guy: I think we should squeeze it to 1 month.
Others: I think we should squeeze it in 2 weeks to meet the deadline..

Deadline: 2 weeks
Progress:25%

Scenario 1
Friend 1:"Hey, you're good at computers right?"
Me:"Erm yup."
Friend 1:"Can you hack Instagram? I've lost my password."
Me:"Oh My God."

Scenario 2
Me looking at a friend's unity C# code
Me:"You know there's an enter key right? Why is your code horizontal not vertical?"
(Means that after a semi-colon he continues his code)
Friend 2:"I like to read my code in horizontal, that feels natural to me"
Me:"What ever, as long as it works. But why do you have so many if function inside another if function?"
Friend 2:"Cuz I want the player to do this while moving"
Me:".........."

Tomorrow's my last day.
There is no exit interview scheduled. I'm not surprised, there hasn't been any 1-on-1's in about 2 years, and any feedback or complaints are never addressed.
Just need to bite my tongue for one more day.

What do you wanna become? / What are you?

1. PHP Developer
2. Python Developer
3. Node.Js Developer
4. JavaScript Developer
5. Java Developer
6. Android Developer
7. Other (please mention in comment)

In case of fire:

1. git commit
2. git push
3. leave building

1. It pays the bills
2. It pays pretty good
3. I'm typically the best looking dude in the office, so it gives me a great ego boost

What 1 programmer can do in 1 month,
2 programmers can do in 2 months.

Updated my setup with this beautiful 2 in 1. Love this!!

Burnout signs:
1) laying in bed all day
2) watching old natgeo documentaries
3) ordering a dildo for my loud ass neighbours

Step 1 - Start with socket.io in NodeJS to create chat extension for browsers
Step 2 - Let's authenticate the users
Step 3 - Cry

Having an philosophy exam in less than six hours. It's 2 am. Laying in bed, thinking about that stupid DNS bug and how to fix it. I have 4 1/2 hours of sleep left - wish me luck ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Searching for other occurrences of highlighted word in Android Studio

1 - highlight word
2 - CMD+F
3 - Enter

In Xcode

1 - highlight word
2 - CMD + C
3 - CMD + F
4 - CMD + V
5 - Enter

Our Product Manager is so amazing that,
1-> She writes FEEDBACKs in Trello
2-> BUGs in MS Excel
3-> and Upcoming FEATUREs in her DIARY

and best part is She used to work as Developer in MnC

1 - Writing a 20 lines Python module in 15 minutes approx.
2 - Accidentally deleting this module.
3 - Taking 1 hour finding a way to generating source code from the compiled PYC Python file.

Nope, in my place it is...

1. Chrome
2. IE

Thank me later when you get a job here, probably shouldn't

Me in the Gym 😃😉😀

weights = [12.5, 15, 17.5, 22.5]
sets = 0
while (sets <2):
for i in weights:
print(i)
print("Rest")
sets = sets + 1

And people say keep your work at office.

What are your most used commands? Find out by running:
history | awk '{a[$2]++}END{for(i in a){print a[i] " " i}}' | sort -rn | head -1

1.ReactJS sucks ass.
2.Full stack developer is myth.
3.Multiple languages makes you impotent to fuck in any single given language.

Two truth and a lie.

Me: Why did you exit the build?
Webpack (W): Build exited with code 2 - Eslint error at 2:1 in *filename*.scss 'Expected 2 line indent'
Me: internally *ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!? YOU FAILED OVER AN ESLINT STYLING!!!* *curses out original dev profusely under breath while fixing styling*

1. Finish 8bit computer
2. Program an assembler
3. Find a girl friend

Can you guess which one will be in my new years resolution next your too?

Can (a ==1 && a== 2 && a==3) ever evaluate to true in JavaScript?

Me in front of an year old code snippet:

1) "omg, wtf did i write that time?"

2) "i'm going to fix it"

3) after 2 hours lost trying to get new code working... reset from git

4) look around feeling guilty

You think arrays starting with 1 are annoying?

HA!

How about time in a day starting with 12?

12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45,...,11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00, 1:45, ..., 11:45, 12:00, 12:45, 1:00 again

What if arrays started with 12? I bet Americans would love that!
arr[12]=fuck
arr[1]=this
arr[2]=shit
arr[3]=!!!

1) Implement a filesystem in my operating system
2) Write a gameboy emulator

1. I don't have to use headphones to listen to music. Can listen in speakers and avoid my ears being sweaty
2. No random interruptions from anyone. Interruptions are usually from slack messages and emails which I can decide when to look at
3. Have a solid 1 or 2 hours for coding (because of the above 2 reasons)
4. The time spent in commuting is instead spent on nap or relaxing

Flamewar in 3...2...1...😈

1. Learn Python
2. Learn C#
3. Use CI in my projects
4. (Not dev related) find a girlfriend

1. Freelancing as a Rails backend developer
2. Client wants a job to be done in 2 hours
3. -_-

1) read every pages of the tech's website
2) follow documentation
3) read online tutorials
4) try to use it in currently working some projects

I hate it when people sort numbers in a drop down box like so:
[1, 10, 11, 12...19, 2, 20, 21...29, 3, 30, 31...]

This is just pure infuriating...

Fuck android studio in the ass with cactus.

*starts learning Android*
*Builds simple application with 1 Button, 1 TextView and 1 EditText*

At this point, I haven't implied any logic or code in MainActivity.java.

*Hit Run*
*Gradle Build*

*Meanwhile, eat lunch*
*Still Gradle Build*

*After 2 Eternity, Build finished*

Fucking, slow peice of shit. I'm rebuiliding the App, because the AVD timedout while running.

Yes, project is due in 7 days organize 1 hour project catch up meeting 2 times a day. Great.

HOW TO PROGRAM(in four easy steps) :

1. Google the F*cking Problem.
2. Open a Stackoverflow link.
3. Copy and paste the code.
4. If it didn't work, goto step 2.
If it did work, goto step 1
(you didn't think you were done.. did you?)

FAQ
Q: What if there is no code?
A: Then it is impossible.

1. Master react
2. Finish my grad thesis
3. Get a react dev job

p.s. Not necessarily in that order.

I just earned my first experience with a "MacBook Pro"..
1. Started in safe mode (reboot solved that)
2. Safari crashed..

I see what you mean with innovation.. NOT!

How to kill a laptop in two steps:
1. Run React Native metro bundler
2. Run debugger

and a 16GB core i7 laptop on Ubuntu will leave this life :)

when code comments be like

# loop over the array
for i in 1...10
# divide by 2
x = i / 2
# return the result
return x

Which one do you prefer?
1. Woah!
2. Whoa!

Discussion in comments below |
V

So two guys at the company I work for just quitted, We were 4 in the "dev" department, 2 front end and 2 back end, now we're just 1 front and 1 back, should I try to get a raise?? I've been working steady for 8 months now.

1. Hits "Run" in Android Studio.
2. Goes to make coffee knowing Gradle will take a while to build.
3. Comes back after 30 minutes.
4."Select Device"
Fuuuuuuck!😠😠

there it is, couting with: 2 instantes of VisualStudio, 3 of chrome, 1 of firefox, 1 of gvim, 1 of notepad.exe, 1 of Spotify and 2 real notepads in the desk.

2 projects, 4 databases and 1 deadline tomorrow 😂.

man, the 2 monitor setup really helps, when you can, go get one for yourself.

Come up with a bad version of flipping a bool's value. (value = !value)

I'll start with a bad way of doing it in C# (.NET):

char[] bca = boolWert.ToString();
if (bca.Length == 4 && bca[0] == 't' && bca[1] == 'r' && bca[2] == 'u' && bca[3] == 'e')
{
boolWert = !bool.Parse($"{bca[0]}{bca[1]}{bca[2]}{bca[3]}");
}
else if (bca.Length == 5 && bca[0] == 'f' && bca[1] == 'a' && bca[2] == 'l' && bca[3] == 's' && bca[4] == 'e')
{
boolWert = !bool.Parse($"{bca[0]}{bca[1]}{bca[2]}{bca[3]}{bca[4]}");
}
else throw new Exception("y e s");

Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.

1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???

The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...

How we click notifs in devRant.

1-1. SOMEONE mentioned you in a comment!

1-2. SOMEONE commented on your rant!

2. SOMEONE ++'d your rant!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

999. SOMEONE ++'d your comment!

1000. One (or more) new comments on a rant/collab you commented on!

Sorry creators, but..... (silence, drops mic)

1. Post a question on stack overflow
2. No one answers
3. Think yourself -- Is it tough / unsolvable / dumb ?

No low hanging fruits in life

Top 10 reasons why I can't complete my code in time.
1. Lethargic
2.

In my classes whatsapp group
*posts a ppt*
person 1:how do I open it?
person 2:use adobe reader
me:*bangs head in the wall*

Customer: We wanna add this thing to that feature. It has to go live with the next deployment (1 1/2 weeks to go)
Me estimating developmenttime, and informing the Management
management: this will take approx. 12h to implement, but we need these informations: [long list of not answered questions]

1 week later (1/2 week left till deployment
customer: okay, lets do it
management: we dont have much time left, what about the questions i sent you?

1 Day no response, 1 1/2 days left until deployment

customer: here you have a few answers. couldnt get the others. ill Send them tomorrow

damn... wtf? guys! i need this shit to Stay in time! cant wait another day! hell no!

In a lecture hall
1. Try Listening to lecture
2. Finds it uninteresting
3. Think that you can later learn from video tutorials
4. One day before exam -- No time to learn..

Either:
a = ( 1 + 2 )
or
a=(1+2)

there is no in between xD

Today I found out that
true + 1 is 2 in js

1.
Never programmed something useful because i have no ideas...

2.
Never used comments in my projects

1. Fix climate change and the environment in general
2. End corporate coercion and social inequality
3. Cure all mental illnesses

Is that too much to ask for?

My wish to have:
1) default show line number in IDE

2) default f**king dark theme

3) grant A new wish every time I make a wish
Wish wishes = new Wish();

fuck off with the “do x in y lines of python code” it’s getting so goddamn annoying. yes python is concise. yes libraries do everything. you don’t need to show off someone else’s work with clickbait.

everything is like

“make a web server in 2 lines of python code”

import http.server
server = http.server.serve()

“mine bitcoin in 2 lines of python code”
import bitcoinminer
bitcoinminer.mine()

“do crazy math with 4 lines of python code”
import complex
import numpy
num1 = 1
num2 = 1
num3 = complex.addVectorMagnitudes(num1, num2)

Why the fuck someone uses ‘2’ instead of “to” in the C code, for naming. What are you, a child?. I have even seen “cache12store” meaning cache 1 to store...

Tomorrow I'll finally start working on a new part of my company's current project from scratch after loads of frustration in the past 1 1/2 months! Not a rant, just a lil bit of hope that it'll get better :)

Random code review:

contractor changes 2 lines in the .gitignore and 1 line in the composer.json and logs 4.5h against the related ticket .. hmmm

1. Started in Graphic Design and now able to bring my designs to full products.

2. Gives me a sense of progression.

3. Don't have to be charismatic.

In the before times of 2019, one of the guys in the office had this habit of sucking his teeth after lunch.

I can hardly describe it. Imagine making kissy sounds but with your tongue and teeth. Did this almost every day from 1-2.

Probably happened every 1-2 minutes. So just long enough to get back into the swing and boom *thick*.

I just invested in some really nice headphones eventually.

Today's conversation in our odc

Person 1: Jenkins Down
Person 2: YouTube or Facebook
Person 1: No... Twitter
Person 2: Gud it means you guys are not blocked...

Awesome troll...

😂 😂 😂

Wasted 2 days working on an obj (3d model) exporter….messed up meshes … missing faces … despair build after build …

And then the realization: Vertices in obj are 1-indexed.
…
..
.
FUCK
nobody learned anything from the array start at 1 meme

While I was exploring multiplication tables I stumbled on something cool.
Take any power of 2 on the multiplication chart.
Now look at the number in the bottom left adjacent box.
The difference of these two numbers will always be a Mersenne number.
Go ahead. Starting on the 2's column of a multiplication table, look in the bottom left of each power of 2 and get the difference.

2-2 = 0
4-3= 1
8-5 = 3
16-9=7
32-17=15

etc.

While the online journal of integer sequences lists a lot of forumlas, I just wrote what came to mind (I'm sure its already known):
((2**i)-(((2**i)/2)+1))

The interesting thing about this is it generates not only the Mersenne numbers, but if you run i *backwards* it generates *additional* numbers.
So its a superset of mersenne numbers.

at i = 0 we get -0.5
i=-1 -> -0.75
i=-2 -> -0.875
i=-3 -> -0.9375
i=-4 -> -0.96875

And while this sequence is *not* mersenne numbers, mersenne numbers *are* in this set.

Just a curious discovery is all.

How to make habits for commitment:
1.Download Snapchat
2.Follow a girl in Snapchat
3.Try to make a snap when she does
4.Change from Snapchat to Git

#!/bin/bash

while :; do
ps -ef | grep -iq [s]ymantec && for i in `ps -ef | grep -i [s]ymantec | awk '{ print $2 }'`; do sudo kill -9 $i; done
sleep 1
done

1. Exporting fat jar
2. Transferring to cluster using WinSCP
3. Running it in the cluster.
4. Find a small bug.
5. Repeat

I HATE IT

Made an order for 3 bubble teas + 1 vacuum from Amazon. Somehow they came all in 1 tall box...

I thought they'd be in 2 packages since they were in different departments but I'm wondering what the layout of Amazon warehouses are and who/what decides that all these things can fit in one box...

- have a look at the project
- brake it down into smaller stories
- estimate the time
- multipy it with 1.5
- add 1-3 days of testing
- add 15% project management
- add a 2 days buffer

= be happy with being done in 2 weeks, present it in 4

2 in 1 Rant: When your deployment process isn't automated and consists of copying and pasting between servers (1) and the "implementer" of this "deployment" STILL messes up the copying and pasting (2). How?!

My goals are:
1. Start my new job in Feb.
2. Overcome the challenges I will face in the new environment.
3. Learn, learn, learn
4. Don’t forget to rest.

When you have a Database Theory final exam in 2 hours and you're cramming a 1/4 of the module. #uni #student

Dear Dark Side #1

Reformat code in all files
Push changes with commit message "Major changes."
Log 2 hours

// Task: add one to the input number

// Sane people:
// print(int(input())+1)

// Me:

n = [*(reversed(bin(int(input()))[2:]))]

tmp = ""
for i in range(len(n)):
tmp = n[i]
tmp = "1" if tmp == "0" else "0"
n[i] = tmp
if tmp == "1":break

if tmp == "0":n+=["1"]
n = "".join(reversed(n))

n = int(n,2)
print(n)

Best explanation of callback from Stackoverflow:

Guy 1 to Guy 2: Hey dude I wanna do something when a user clicks in there, call me back when that's happens alright?

Guy 2 calls back Guy 1 when a user clicks here

Incident 0:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Received an email mentioning not qualified.

Incident 1:
1. Saw an interesting job opening
2. Sent the resume
3. Hr scheduled an interview
4. Interview went good
5. Havent heard any thing ftom hr yet, neither positive nor negative.

I hope I dont need to mention the countries in both cases.

Question - is this meaningful or is this retarded?

if

2*3 = 6
2*2 = 4
2*1 = 2
2*0 = 0
2*-1 = -2

then why doesnt this work?

6/3 = 2
6/2 = 3
6/1 = 6
6/0 = 0
6/-1 = -6

if n/0 is forbidden and 1/n returns the inverse of n, why shouldn't zero be its own inverse?

If we're talking "0" as in an infinitely precise definition of zero, then 1/n (where n is arbitrarily close to 0), then the result is an arbitrarily large answer, close to infinite, because any floating point number beneath zero (like an infinitely precise approximation of zero) when inverted, produces a number equal to or greater than 1.

If the multiplicative identity, 1, covers the entire set of integers, then why shouldn't division by zero be the inverse of the multiplicative identity, excluding the entire set? It ONLY returns 0, while anything n*1 ONLY returns n.
This puts even the multiplicative identity in the set covered by its inverse.

Ergo, division by zero produces either 0 or infinity. When theres an infinity in an formula, it sometimes indicates theres been
some misunderstanding or the system isn't fully understood. The simpler approach here would be to say therefore the answer is
not infinity, but zero. Now 'simpler' doesn't always mean "correct", only more elegant.

But if we represent the result of a division as BOTH an integer and mantissa
component, e.x

1.234567 or 0.1234567,

i.e. a float, we can say the integer component is the quotient, and the mantissa
is the remainder.

Logically it makes sense then that division by zero is equivalent to taking the numerator, and leaving it "undistributed".
I.e. shunting it to the remainder, and leaving the quotient as zero.

If we treat this as equivalent of an inversion, we can effectively represent the quotient from denominators of n/0 as 1/n

Meaning even 1/0 has a representation, it just happens to be 0.000...

Therefore

(n * (n/0)) = 1

the multiplicative identity

because

(n* (n/0)) == (n * ( 1/n ))

People who math. Is this a yea or nay in your book?

Finishing the whole front end for a pretty big site in 2 hours with 2 people and only 1 knows HTML and CSS

In case of fire🔥:
1. git commit
2. git push
3.🏃‍♂️ Leave the building

#1 Speaking to my boss in Klingon.

He thought I was shouting at him in Dothraki.

lu' or luq
(yes, I will do that)

#2 Listening to Black Sabbath during a server compile 2.6h.

How to kill Jira Backlog in one simple step:
1) put '-∞' to Storypoints
2) enjoy

(Bottom line: it can be fixed from User Story Map to something normal)

Just curious.

1. How you hosting at deep web?
2. Can your websites become listed in deep web? Why?

I just curious

1. Registering in Stack Overflow
2. Registering in DevRant
3. Thinking my code will run without problem

1. Putting bits in proper places is fun
2. It's cool to translate curiosity and caffeine into money
3. Coding is modern-day magic in many ways

When in doubt shroud your spout. Or just use parentheses!

1 << 2 + 3 << 4

Software development lifecycle:
Step 1: Take shortcuts to get the project done in time.
Step 2: Wait for shit to hit the you know what
Step 3: Goto Step 1

Maybe in a million or so years, 1 might gradually get close enough to be 2

Starting.

Because you build the same boilerplate over and over again.

People recommending me shit I didn't ask for in 3...2...1...

wHo WrItEs OnLiNe LiKe ThIs?

ALSO THE UNIT MADE A REPLACEMENT CLASS IN THE TIMETABLE WHICH MEANS ALL OTHER UNIT CLASSES OR SLOTS CANNOT GO IN THERE FOR THE WHOLE SEMESTER, JUST FOR 1 WEEK!!!!

1 CLASS IN 1 TIMESLOT IN 1 WEEK FOR 2 HOURS IS RUINING MY WHOLE TIMETABLE

Once upon a time i have seen a block of code in a while (2 > 1) ... it was in C (or so i remember), but still...

Tonight's checklist:
1. Study a chapter in ISLR
2. Try to understand source code of an open source project in GoLang.
3. Complete programming challenges on HackerRank

What I am going to end up doing:
1. Watching videos of The Rock trolling others.
2. Watch Family Guy

Rule 1: You are the best programmer.

Rule 2: Others are acting to be good programmers or are in a fixed match.

Linux networking: A tragedy in three acts

ACT 1:
Wherein the system administrator writes their /etc/network/interfaces file as is the custom.

ACT 2:
Wherein the kafkaesque outputs of basic networking commands threaten basic sanity. Behold:

```
# ifup ens3:1
RTNETLINK answers: File exists
Failed to bring up ens3:1.
# ifdown ens3:1
ifdown: interface ens3:1 not configured
```

ACT 3:
Wherein all sanity is lost:

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)

There is only one way of boiling spagetti (code)
1.Measure your required amount of spagetti (in project)
2.Wrong

I'm thankful I have 2 ISPs in my area so I can at least threaten to switch although one only offers 1/10 the speed of the other.

Starting winter holidays in 3, 2, 1,...

TIL that in JavaScript [1, 2, ] gives you a 2 elements array, while [, 1, 2] gives you a 3 elements array
WTF JavaScript???

#1 hand in my notice
#2 start my own company
#3 enjoy work
#4 make a metric shit-ton of money (contributes to previous point)

Allowing only 1-2 chosen apps to use mobile internet while being run in user-space (as in you see the shit and are able to close it via a swipe) would be sick..

heres something interesting:
The golden ratio is 1.618...

If you're not familiar with it, doing 1/goldenratio
the result is 0.618...
It gives you back the float component exactly.

Discovered that it is actually part of a series.

First of all:
2-(((5-sqrt(5))/2)-1) =
1.618033988749895 -> thats our golden ratio

In other words:
(2%gold) =
0.381966011250106

While:
((5-sqrt(5))/2) =
1.381966011250105

Ok, now we're getting somewhere. We can turn these into variables

First of all, lets see if we can get the golden ratio back out:
2-(((5-sqrt(5))/2)-1) = 1.618033988749895

Okay good.

The formula looks something like
j-(((i-sqrt(i))/2)-1)

Where j = (i*2)+1
That means we can easily figure out what j we need from our i value. (i-1)/2 = j

We run it back far enough we get
1-(((3-sqrt(3))/2)-1) =
1.3660254037844386

Thats the golden ratios little brother. Doesn't look anything like it, but it is part of the series.
And I found a boat load of research documents scattered *all* over the net, where this number and others in the series inexplicably crop up in power series, in chemistry, and elsewhere. Just looks like random floats if you don't know better.

We can actually go lower in the series:
0.5-(((2-sqrt(2))/2)-1)
1.2071067811865475

At the lowest positive value for j, we get
0-(((1-sqrt(1))/2)-1) = 1

It's kinda elegant.

I even wrote a little script to do the conversions:
def gr(k):
....i = k
....j = (i-1)/2
....return j-(((i-sqrt(abs(i)))/2)-1)

The dots are so devrant doesn't break pythons formatting.

Sometime in the future:
Person 1: 2020 called...
Person 2: What!? Hang up! HANG THE FUCK UP!!!

Had a university project with friends, got another guy (#1) in our team. Upon being asked if we would take yet another guy (#2), we were sceptical if he was a good developer... Turned out guy #2 is one of the best of us, guy #1 can't do shit.

Multi-rant incoming!

1.
Stereotyping.

When did that shit become the norm?

2.
I'm lost in ROS smach. Does anyone do multi-threading in ROS services, or should I flip a table on smach? 😒

There are only 2 hard problems in software:

1. Naming things
2. Cache invalidation
3. Off by 1 errors