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Search - "fix computer"
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Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.
As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.
You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.
You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.
You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.
In other words:
Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.
Thanks.62 -
Client: Hey, you're the IT guy right?
Me: Hey, how can I help?
Client: Yeah for some reason I've lost power to my computer
Me: *Checks power, all computers are down due to a power cut*
Me: You'll have to contact your power supplier as you've lost power to all computers and lights.
Client: What, but the computers are not working right? - that's you're job not mine
Me: That's not how it works.
Client: Fix this or I'll bill you for the loss of money we've encountered during this and report this to your boss.
Me: How about I bill you for my time and advice and inform by boss that you tried to blame me for a power cut.
Client: You can try.
Me: *walks off and puts time in the ticket, requests purchasing to send an invoice*
2 Days later:
The client does not pay the invoice.
Me: (phone call) Hi, an invoice has been sent to you and we haven't received payment yet.
Client: were not paying that, you broke our power and made our computers break
Me: null22 -
My friend (not in CS) said his computer was a bit slow.
I told him I'd fix that for 10, he agreed.
I increased the cursor speed.
He bought it.16 -
Mom : My washing machine is not working.
Please fix it.
Me : I am a computer engineer.
Mom : You are an engineer though.
Me : That's not how it works.
.
.
.
2 hours and many YouTube tutorials later
Me : It's done.
Mom : Didn't I tell you you can do it.24 -
Random : Hey you're a programmer right?
Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*
Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.
Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.
*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*
Random : How did you do that?
Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.
Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.
I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.
I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.12 -
Every single time I visit my family during holidays they expect one to fix their computer/smartphone/printer/whateverFuckingShittyIOT-Device... Just printed them postcards this time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also: Hello devRant! Just been reading here for a week and every single day was full of gold - Thanks :)12 -
One day my mum got a call from a man claiming to be from Microsoft. He said there is something wrong with the computer and tried to make her install TeamViewer to "fix" it, but my mum didn't manage to install it for several hours until he gave up.
Sometimes knowing even less can save your PC.7 -
Client: I want all cookies blocked on my computer.
Me: Are you sure? Some things won't work if i do that. Like using online banking.
Client: I don't use it, so it's fine.
*Two weeks pass. I have to come back and see three bankcards laying on the table*
Client: I'm not able to use online banking anymore. Can you fix it?
Come on! You pay me to give advice and help out with problems. The least you could do is listen.10 -
A computer science degree doesn't mean we can fix everything, it just means we can understand how everything went so terribly wrong5
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FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read25
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My dad called me up at 11:30 PM telling me that his computer wasn't booting. I drive over to see what was going on. I notice immediately that the motherboard light is a solid amber light.
Me: "The motherboard is amber, that means it's failing to POST".
Dad: "How soon can we fix it? I need to run my Ebay business."
Me: "A week probably. You have a laptop that works can you use that?"
Dad: "It doesn't work great with Windows, it's not a very powerful compu"
Me: "You're going to use Linux dad. Welcome to Linux."11 -
A: "You write code? Can you fix my computer?"
M: "No, that's not how it works, bud"
A: "Why? It's both computer stuff."
M: *points to the greasy tire shop* "Let's go get your car painted there*
A: "Hell no"
M: "Why? It's both car stuff."
😂4 -
A wild Darwin Award nominee appears.
Background: Admins report that a legacy nightly update process isn't working. Ticket actually states problem is obviously in "the codes."
Scene: Meeting with about 20 people to triage the issue (blamestorming)
"Senior" Admin: "update process not working, the file is not present"
Moi: "which file?"
SAdmin: "file that is in ticket, EPN-1003"
Moi: "..." *grumbles, plans murder, opens ticket*
...
Moi: "The config dotfile is missing?"
SAdmin: "Yes, file no there. Can you fix?"
Moi: "Engineers don't have access to the production system. Please share your screen"
SAdmin: "ok"
*time passes, screen appears*
Moi: "ls the configuration dir"
SAdmin: *fails in bash* > ls
*computer prints*
> ls
_.legacyjobrc
Moi: *sees issues, blood pressure rises* "Please run list all long"
SAdmin: *fails in bash, again* > ls ?
Moi: *shakes* "ls -la"
SAdmin: *shonorable mention* > ls -la
*computer prints*
> ls -la
total 1300
drwxrwxrwx- 18 SAdmin {Today} -- _.legacyjobrc
Moi: "Why did you rename the config file?"
SAdmin: "Nothing changed"
Moi: "... are you sure?"
SAdmin: "No, changed nothing."
Moi: "Is the job running as your account for some reason?"
SAdmin: "No, job is root"
Moi: *shares screenshot of previous ls* This suggests your account was likely used to rename the dotfile, did you share your account with anyone?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because could not see"
Moi: *heavy seething* so, just to make sure I understand, you renamed a dotfile because you couldn't see it in the terminal with ls?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because it was not visible, now is visible"
Moi: "and then you filed a ticket because the application stopped working after you renamed the configuration file? You didn't think there might be a correlation between those two things?"
SAdmin: "yes, it no work"
Interjecting Director: "How did no one catch this? Why were there no checks, and why is there no user interface to configure this application? When I was writing applications I cared about quality"
Moi: *heavy seething*
IDjit: "Well? Anyone? How are we going to fix this"
Moi: "The administrative team will need to rename the file back to its original name"
IDjit: "can't the engineering team do this?!"
Moi: "We could, but it's corporate policy that we have no access to those environments"
IDjit: "Ok, what caused this issue in the first place? How did it get this way?!"
TFW you think you've hit the bottom of idiocy barrel, and the director says, "hold my mango lassi."27 -
My dad: Hey Sébastien, I think my computer has a problem, can you look my computer ?
Me: Sure.
*walks in front of the computer*
*looks at the screen*
*go away*
My dad: But, you don't fix it ?
Me: Nope, you just asked me to 'see' your computer
*walks away*13 -
I haven't told anyone I know yet but yesterday I got a call from a user and she asked me if I could come down and take a look at some software I support. I did and fixed the issue.
She then asked if I could take a look at her computer because help desk and PC team had tried to fix and couldn't.
5 minutes later I fixed it (every site she went to gave cert error in both chrome and ie). I stood up and there was a couple seconds of me and her just facing each other not saying anything. She was smiling ear to ear the whole time. (This issue was weeks old I think). Then she walks towards me......
And hugs me.25 -
When I was a kid I used to play on my old Pentium computer all night after my mother sleeps. One night she caught me playing, she pushed the cabin from the table and broke it 😵. After then I tried to fix it and succeeded. Since then started learning about computers and now a back end engineer..6
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Not my mom, but my wife's whole family. I'm a software developer.
So we're invited to her grandmother's 85th birthday celebration with pretty much every family member they could think to invite. 100+ people, and we all sit down in a circle in a huge room to watch a video that my wife's father and aunts/uncles put together.
They start the video and there's no sound. I'm a software developer, so I'm not an expert in hardware issues. I try to turn invisible, because every tech person knows what comes next, and this is in the center of a room of people I don't know.
After about 15 minutes of people struggling to get the audio working, one of the people remembers I "work with computer". Soon I have a dozen people calling me to the center of the room.
I begrudgingly make my way to the computer and projector. Upon inspection, I find that the computer is connected via VGA to the projector.
Me: "This cable only carries video. You need a different kind of cable, or you can hook up an AUX cable--the kind you use for headphones."
Other Guy: "I used this cable earlier and the audio was working."
Me: "...that's weird. Well, can we try plugging in an AUX cable?"
Yet Another Guy: "Will this help?" Holds up an HDMI cable
Me: "Oh, yeah! That should do it."
Other Guy: "I tried plugging that in, but it didn't change anything."
Me: "Hmmm..." Quickly unplug VGA and plug in HDMI, then click play.
The sound comes out in its full cheesy music glory. Everybody cheers, and I walk back to my seat. Throughout the rest of party, I'm approached by various other family members who ask me if I can fix X since I'm a "computer guy". Isn't it great to work in tech?12 -
Picking up my kid in kindergarten, they asked if I had time to help fix the manager's computer. Internet wasn't working, at had been on the phone with support for 4 hours. I accepted the challenge, open prompt and typed "ipconfig /renew". Done. I walked out a rockstar.2
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Going on a vacation, so notify all clients that I won't be available during two weeks.
Client: well we have this huge presentation and here's a list of stuff we absolutely need for it
Me: sure I have a look.
Me: holy shit dude! That's gona take about 2-3 days. I'm leaving soon!
Client: it's realy critical to have them in a week as it's a very important presentation! Is there any way you can make it work? If we can do anything to help, just name it.
Me: well I'll do my best (planed 1 day for such rhings)
Me: *pulling a 15h day*
Me: here, all done budy! Did a 15h but now it's done, so do that presentation!
Client: oh, nice, but it wasn't that urgent
Me: ...
Next day:
Client ssh in to the server, fucks shit up
Client: well I did a thing and now stage and prod is fucked, can you do anything?
Me: (knowing it will take 30min to fix) well... I try my best. Btw. I'll leave in a few hours and won't take my computer, so try not to fuck every thing again, okay? -
Story.
Did you know logging into chrome will auto sync all your fucking bookmarks to that other person's account??
I DIDN'T!!
(I use Firefox mainly and chromium for testing.)
I use chrome only for porn. Got shit tons of bookmarks. I login to my friend's sister Gmail on my chrome(for remote desktop - to help fix her computer. Somehow,remote desktop doesn't work on chromium)
Was browsing her pc via remote session and suddenly all of my porn bookmarks appear at the top bar.)
Had to manually select each bookmark in the bookmark manager and delete since CTRL+A won't work during the remote session. Don't know why.
FML.27 -
Sitting in a dorm, chilling..
My new roommate: So You study Computer Science?
Me: *Here it goes again*
Roommate: Can you fix my HDD? Something is wrong with it..
Me: No...
Roommate: But..
Me: No I study computer SCIENCE! Go ask yout physics professor to fix your fucking trebuchet, because he knows how that stuff works..
Roommate: *Silence*
God... That was my best reply in whole life... Someone should make a shirt of that...23 -
Me: Your computer has Operating System corruption.
Customer: What does that mean?
Me: *something, something potato chips* and the only fix is to reinstall Windows.
Customer: Well that's stupid! I need my computer! Darn Windows! Microsoft should pay for that reinstallation! What causes that corruption anyway?
Me: Well, any number of things, but it's mostly caused by a part of the update not downloading correctly, so when it gets installed it creates a hole.
Customer: So now hold on... could shutting the computer down during the updates cause this corruption.
Me: It could, yes. That's why they say to not unplug your computer or shut it down while running the updates.
Customer: I see. Cause yeah, I remember that I was angry when it said it had to do updates, so I shut it down.
Me: Yep, that would cause it.
Customer: Okay, reinstall Windows...undefined this conversation was spread out over a week my coworker was actually a part of this one it support coworker just another day i've ranted about this customer before check my rant history #toomanytags10 -
Sister: "Can you fix my computer?"
Me: "What's wrong?"
S: *explains the issue
Me: *types that into Google and shows her the search results
S: *gives me the look
M: "This is seriously what I do to fix a lot of my problems 🧚"18 -
People will always ask us to fix their computer :/
Had a meeting with IT-director of our client.
Me: Yes, with our solution you will be sure that the details of all your 17.500 employees will be stored and accessible for all required third party systems. We will have a 6 month preliminary schedule and it will cost..
Random: Excuse me!
Random employee interrupts and has actually stepped into the meeting room.
Random: Can you take a look at my computer? Something is wrong.
IT-director: Is there noone else who can look at this?
Random: But it was working a minute ago. It probably will be a quick fix?
IT-director looks at me like "what even is this?"
IT-director: Go down to the 12th and talk to IT there, we're having a meeting here.
Random: I thought you guys who are so good with computers could fix this in a jiffy!
Me: Burning inside
IT-director: Just leave us, please.
Random leaves.
IT-director looks at me and I look knowingly back. We are both sad for a moment. Then we continue.9 -
Mum: Tom time to do something get off your computer
Me: *continues staring at computer*
Mum: Tom?
Me: ...
Mum: TOM
Me: Whaaa? *moves head slightly up but still doesn't take eyes off computer"
Mum: Please get off your computer there's stuff you've gotta do
Me: *finally looking up* OK just let me fix this one thing I'm so close
Mum: fine, 5 mins
*5 mins later:
Mum: come on Tom time to get off
Me: uuuggghhhhhhhh I'm nearly done please
Mum: hurry up
Me: *tries to hurry and finish as to not upset her* please I'm so close
Mum: *furious glance*
Me: *furiouser typing noises and frantic clicking*
Me: *finishes, attempts to run the program*
Program: *runs just fine and problem I was trying to fix was working great*
...
...
*something else breaks*
Me: ok mum please just this one thing
Mum: OFF28 -
Storytime!
This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.
Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.
Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--
Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.
Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.
Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!
Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*
Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?
Customer: Yes, it has.
Me: On how many computers?
Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.
Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*
Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?
Me: *gives price*
Customer: And do you have any?
Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*
Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.
Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?
Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*
Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!
Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.
Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?
Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.
Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.
Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3
Customer: ...Okay, fine
Me: *updates the ticket*
When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."
If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.
If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?
If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.
If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.
If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.
IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.17 -
Sometimes you wish life was like computer, so every time some fuck happens you can just fix it or reinstall it5
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<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**8 -
one of our computers at work suddenly shut down. our boss panicked like it was the end of the world cause he knew we couldnt buy a new one and we desperately need the computer. when i came in he started telling me he's gonna pay me extra if i fix the computer
me: *checks cpu and finds out it was unplugged* u sure bout that?
him: hell yea, id rather pay u that buy a new one
*30 mins later*
me: *plugs it back in and pushes power button* its done
>> guess who's got extra money without any extra efforts yay11 -
When you have to fix your mom computer over the phone for 2h because you can't access through teamviewer... That rage you feel while you think "ok, breath, she had to teach you how to use a spoon once..."4
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"Hey nephew, why doesn't the FB app work. It shows blank white boxes?"
- It can't connect or something? (I stopped using the FB app since 2013.)
"What is this safe mode that appeared on my phone?!"
- I don't know. I don't hack my smartphone that much. Well, I actually do have a customised ROM. But stop! I'm pecking my keyboard most of the time.
"Which of my files should I delete?"
- Am I supposed to know?
"Where did my Microsoft Word Doc1.docx go?"
- It lets you choose the location before you hit save.
"What is 1MB?"
- Search these concepts on Google. (some of us did not have access to the Internet when we learned to do basic computer operations as curious kids.)
"What should I search?"
- ...
"My computer doesn't work.. My phone has a virus. Do you think this PC they are selling me has a good spec? Is this Video Card and RAM good?"
- I'm a programmer. I write code. I think algorithmically and solve programming problems efficiently. I analyse concepts such as abstraction, algorithms, data structures, encapsulation, resource management, security, software engineering, and web development. No, I will not fix your PC.7 -
Me: "Delete this folder"
Windows: "Oki, done."
Me: "How is it still there, F5. Still there! Hey, you forgot to delete this one file. Fix it."
Windows: "Nope."
Me: "Why?"
Windows: "Requires permissions."
Me: "Eh, it was my file, but here you are, my admin credentials."
Windows: "None shall pass."
Me: "Wtf, this is my computer. Who owns this file?"
Windows: "No one."
Me: "What do you mean? Oh, time for your reboot pills, ms. Wandows."
Windows: "Noooooo... ... ... Welcome."
Me: "Ha, the file is gone. Glorious victory."
Windows: "It's just a flash wound."
Credit for style: https://mobile.twitter.com/cmurator...4 -
!rant
After knocking off from work, I went to nearby Coffee shop to grab a Coffee. I met a girl and we started talking about our day. She asked me to do her a favor and take a look at her laptop, it’s been playing up for sometime now. So, I went. She took me to her bedroom where the laptop was, and the conversation continued on topic romance, sex and girlfriend. You know what happened next…Yes.
For the first time in my life I fixed a hot cheeks computer and got laid.
What was wrong? There was a malware in her computer which was opening random websites.22 -
My friend: My laptop is not working. Can you please fix it?
Me: Ok. I will take a look at it.
*After 1 hours*
Me: I think your hard disk has failed.
My friend: Can't you fix it? You always spend day and night on your computer. So, I think you can fix it.
Me: Sorry. I can't.
*Next day I went to his home*
His brother to my friend: You said he is a genious. He can fix anything related to computer. He can't do anything. I will take it to a best repair shop in the area.
Me: *walks out of his home*11 -
Didn't want to post it as there's been already a lot of posts like this. But I just can't help myself to rant over this. This happened yesterday. I helped him earlier with his phone.
Friend of my dad: Hey, I need your help with my laptop I bought from eBay.
Me: *flashbacks of devRant posts*
Him: Everything works. It's just that nothing comes up in display.
Me: Okay, you need to take that to a repair shop. If at least something came up on screen I could help.
Him: Aren't you a computer engineer? I bought this because I knew you can fix it.
Me: *more flashbacks*
Him: You gotta help me with this. I can't lose money on this
Me: You didn't even ask me anything before buying. Ask your buyer if they have a 30 day return policy.
Him: Why are paying this much to study Computer Engineering? I'll talk to your dad.
This people man. I told my dad and he never received his call anymore7 -
people: What do you do?
me: I'm computer engineer.
people: Ah! You fix things then. Can you fix my TV?
me:12 -
So guys i really need your help. My girlfriend started getting phone calls at odd hours, so I got suspicious and started tracking her phone. Then I found out that she has been going to this guys house at wears hours, then once when I was tracking her my computer froze, so what could it be? How do I fix my computer14
-
I just spent an hour debugging my company's web app. More specifically, I was trying to fix a bug that made a label on a comment I just made say "Posted 3 days ago".
After confirming timestamps on the server are correct with a calculator, fiddling around with the js debugger, and ruling out weird timezone-related shenanigans, I came to a conclusion.
The bug was in fact sitting, quite comfortably, between the chair and the keyboard.
Yesterday I had moved the date on my computer roughly 3 days into the future, because I was testing out some unrelated code that was dealing with Redis, and I wanted to expire all of the keys stored inside of it.
Don't blame me, my parents told me I had fallen onto my head as a child.5 -
My family: Can you repair the printer ?
Me: No ...
My family: can't send my emails, fix it !
Me: No ...
My family: why this people can share my photos on Facebook ? Stop it now !
Me: Then stop sharing all your god damn life each time you eat, fart or go to the bathroom !!!! For fucks sake !
Also me: why have I started computer science ?2 -
My mother used to code a good 30 years ago (embedded development for plane engines), but nowadays always fear doing something wrong on her computer/smartphone.
It's a bit depressing to see how someone who used to be a developer is now so fearful of computers.
On the plus side, she is very respective of my time, and will wait 2/3 weeks for me to come home to fix a simple thing, and generally don't bother me with things she can do herself, once I explain to her how to do it.
Last time was cleaning laptop fans. Seeing how you need to disassemble half of it to clean that, I can understand anyone not wanting to do it.7 -
when u spend 2 hours desperately trying to fix a bug. Give up, off the computer and get ready for bed. the moment you get comfortable and ready to sleep. You solve the problem mentally in ur head. Get back up, on the computer and continue coding.
-
"What's your major?"
"Computer Science"
"Do you fix computers and stuff?"
"No"
"So wait then do you like hack stuff?"
"Yes, all the time, every day."3 -
Teacher: hey, your good with computer programming, right?
(Thinking I finally have a chance to prove myself programming wise.)
Me: yeah, Sure
(Trying not to blow my own trumpet)
Teacher: great, can you fix this word document for me?
FML4 -
FUCKING HELL
My sister has that Vaio laptop from 2012 and she wanted me to "clean it up"... You get the deal. I ran the bios and booted it up from my external SSD setup so I don't have to bother with her bloody Windows fucking 7. When I'm finished deleting some garbage she managed to accumulate on her disk I wanted to switch back to Windows to properly uninstall bloatware she had. AND THEN OT FUCKING STRUCK ME. Can't load bios. F keys don't do shit. Delete doesn't either. The bloody "ASSIST" button is as useless as always. Since the computer is so slow I'm gonna waste a whole day trying to fix it and in the end she will be like: "oh, it took you so long!". Why Vaio, why can't you just get over the fact that some people actually use BIOS and make it somehow ACCESSIBLE? It's the same shit every time I try to do anything with that laptop. I'm always getting shit on from Sony as if I paid them to fuck me. One last time. VAIO, FUCK YOU.4 -
If I tell normal people I'm a computer programmer, I always get asked to fix something hardware related.
If I tell normal people I'm a software engineer, I get a "that's awesome" and don't get asked to fix anything. I'm sticking with this option.3 -
I was trying to fix my computer illiterate sisters computer, then I found out that there were two anti-virus programs that tried to delete each other.
When trying to delete the software I found out that the system admin does not have permission to use administrator rights at all. So in frustration I copied any valuable files, and reinstalled the entire OS.
Sometimes I wonder how people end up in these situations. She had 4 different anti-virus programs and still ended up getting multiple viruses! xD7 -
Hey man can you fix my tv, computer, toaster, phone, or hack this phone i found, can you hack me a wifi, can you make me a website/app i have a really good idea. (For free of course)
Hey man you only need a good idea for an app then become rich.
(Insert countless of other retarded requests here)
Someone kill me6 -
Person: You're good with computers right?
Me: Yes.
P: My computer won't boot after I unplugged it while trying to move it, how do I fix it?
M: I don't know
P: I thought you were good with computers
M: I am. Can't troubleshoot a computer with that little of info.
P: If I bring it to you will you fix it for me?
M: No.
P: What if burritos are involved?
M: I would consider it
This. This is how conversations should go when somebody asks us to fix their computer.8 -
We recently got a new trainee (Not sure if its correct germans correct me i mean "Praktikant"). This guy studied computer Engineering and canceld his studies to work as a developer. So this guy is working on a typo 3 Page for a Client and asks me for help because He got a follding error. Im in the last year of My studies btw. He sends me very Bad formatted HTML template file. I quickly correct the formatting and fix the 3 open Tags That He forogt to Close. send it back to him and walk to his workplace to See him integrate it to his own code again. He Double clicks the HTML file an Google Chrome opens. He then looks at me and says and Where is the code. I say to him That he just opened the HTML file with his Browser. And He responds with yes but i wanted to See the code Not this.
Im done for today 😑😑11 -
That feel when your grandpa taught himself how to stream movies online and asks you to finally teach him how to torrent.
I'm so proud.3 -
I made a website for a guy, been keeping a casual eye on it and it's fine, if boring.
Then he calls in a panic to tell me it's been hacked, there is porn everywhere and funny underlined words and I must fix it right now!
So I drop what I'm doing and access the site and it's fine. I use a few different devices and even a couple of different networks and can't see a thing wrong with it.
Then I spent half an hour on the phone trying to convince him that his own shady surfing habits are causing this on his computer only.
I get the feeling he didn't believe me because he hasn't paid the latest invoice..11 -
Mom: Hey, my computer is doing weird stuff again, you know what that means?
Me: *I should have become lawyer instead of IT*
Mom: And the microwave makes a beeping sound. Fix it.5 -
what i did today:
1. start a computer
2. start a xampp server
3. open text editor
4. open bug list
5. realize that i cant do a single thing.
6. steam game invitation shows up (i think it's ok just one game)
7. realize that i spent 10 fcking game
8. tried to fix the bug
9. i failed
10. i do another game
11. and it's time to go home
12. i feel guilty7 -
I have my best moments but the first time I felt badass about computers was when I was at kindergarten.
There was one computer with one cool game with skateboard. I wanted to play but the other kids didn’t let me.
I thought that if it look like I fix the computer they will let me. I took me month or little more but I made shutdown bat(I didn’t really understood fully) and I added it to the game shortcut from usb.
One of the other kids started the game and the computer turned itself off. Hi tried a few times and then I offered to fix it, I created new shortcut replacing the “hacked” one and the game ran.
From that moment the computer and the game were always free for me.7 -
Neighbour: What do you do?
Me: I am an Undergrad, pursuing a degree in Computer Science.
Neighbour *Pointing to her Daughter* : I guess she can fix our printer then.
Me: ...3 -
Dad thinks i sleep all day and always tells me to get a job.
Mom doesn't know nothing about what i do
Wife thinks I'm talking to other women and have a fucking magic money tree when bills need to be paid.
Wife's grandparents think I'm a lazy piece of shit but ask me to fix their fucking tvs.
Mother-in-law: knows i make money working on the computer but not how.14 -
Okay lets write this before i go mad...
I'm one of those guys who says "use the os which suits you the most, or you're most familiar with", and i'v always been a windows guy, didn't really have any reason to use linux, because for school stuff, or programming (java and android and c) windows was great enough...
BUT MOTHERF@CKERS at microsoft, i'v had enough...
First my handheld computer goes nuts, because windows is eating 80% of processor, and if i fix it, then some other kind of windows related thing eats up that much, and you know what? I've been okay with that, because thats only a handheld computer, but boy, didn't my main computer start to do the same?!?
I cannot do anything, basically i start something trivial up (by trivial i mean trivial, like idk, a texteditor not even a browser, or an ide or anything that would take a bit of more ram) and my computer cant do shit....
I'm so mad.... Currently installing elemantary os... F@ck this shit i'm out...
(And lets not forget the hours of 'updates' which dont do shit....)13 -
*peacefully coding*
Family: can you help me connect to WiFi?
*5 mins later*
Friend: help, how do I download this program?
*5 mins later*
Family: fix my computer, it’s really slow!!
When did I go from programmer to IT help desk?4 -
I saw this as a ./ comment a while back on a discussion about dev tools (sorry... don't have a link to the actual post...) It was so good that I printed it off and pinned it to my cube. Thought I'd share it here--
"The pain in programming doesn't come from the tools. Yeah, it's a pain to learn the tools, but that's short lived. The real pain comes from the nature of programming. It's caused by having to tell the computer in excruciating detail exactly what you want it to do without glossing over any of the 'you know what I mean' steps, because the computer certainly doesn't know what you mean. And not only do you have to tell it how to do the job when everything is working as it should, you have to anticipate all the ways in which things could fail and tell the computer what to do in those cases, too. THAT'S the painful part of programming--the programming. No tool is going to fix that."4 -
*ring ring*
Me: Hello?
Unknown: We received info that your computer has a wirus
Me: and how do you know?
Unknown: We received a report
(Playing Along)
Me: Ok? How do I fix it?
Unknown: Sir, are you by your computer?
Me: Yes (No, I am at work 😇)
Unknown: Sir, do you see the ctr key?
Me: Yes (here it comes)
Unknown: Do you see the flag picture?
Me: Yes (Getting closer)
Unknown: Press both the flag key and the r key at the same time. (BINGO!!!)
Me: My computer crashed and it is saying your a scammer, so bye.
It is fun to trick scammers!4 -
I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it never fails to drive me nuts, and customers never stop doing it, so:
Why do end users think "it's broken" is all they have to put into the support ticket?
It's a web app, not a goddamn pretzel.
If the turn signal on your car stops working, do you drop your car off at the mechanic, hand them the keys, and say "its broken, fix it!"?
While I'm on the topic, "I tried to do {x} and it gave an error" is better than "its broken", but still: why do you think what the actual error says would be completely irrelevant, especially when we put in the effort to give you relatively meaningful error messages?
I mean, is "there was a problem sending the email" so utterly gibberish to you that it is indistinguishable from "error: 0x000351e6"?
If so, I'm sorry, but you're too stupid to use a goddamn computer!5 -
Online tutorial pet peeves
————————————
My top 10 points of unsolicited ranting/advice to those making video tutorials:
1. Avoid lots of pauses, saying “umm” too much, or other unnecessary redundancy in speech (listen to yourself in a recording)
2. If I can’t understand you at 1.5 - 2x playback speed and you don’t already speak relatively quickly and clearly, I’m probably not going to watch for long (mumbling, inconsistent microphone volume, and background noise/music are frequent culprits)
3. It’s ok to make mistakes in a tutorial, so long as you also fix them in the tutorial (e.g., the code that is missing a semicolon that all of a sudden has one after it compiles correctly — but no mention of fixing it or the compiler error that would have been received the first time). With that said, it’s fine to fix mistakes pertinent to the topic being taught, but don’t make me watch you troubleshoot your non-relevant computer issues or problems created by your specific preferences (e.g., IDE functionality not working as expected when no specific IDE was prescribed for the tutorial)
4. Don’t make me wait on your slow computer to do something in silence—either teach me something while it’s working or edit the video to remove the lull
5. You knew you were recording your screen. Close your email, chat, and other applications that create notifications before recording. Or at least please don’t check them and respond while recording and not edit it out of the video
6. Stay on topic. I’m watching your video to learn about something specific. A little personality is good, but excessive tangents are often a waste of my time
7. [Specific to YouTube] Don’t block my view of important content with annotations (and ads, if within your control)
8. If you aren’t uploading quality HD recordings, enlarge your font! Don’t make me have to guess what character you typed
9. Have a game plan (i.e., objectives) before hitting the record button
10. Remember that it’s easier to rant and complain than to do something constructive. Thank you for spending your time making tutorial videos. It’s better for you to make videos and commit all my pet peeves listed above than to not make videos at all—don’t let one guy’s rant stop you from sharing your knowledge and experience (but if it helps you, you’re welcome—and you just might gain a new viewer!)14 -
Client: Hey. So. LOVE your work. Got my computer repaired at your place a few weeks ago. And you guys did a GREAT job. But noooooow...my phone is acting up. Can you fix it?
Me: Why yes! We can! It will be ________! Keep in mind, the price includes all labor and comes with a three month warranty!
Client: But you said the last time I was there I had a warranty. Why isn't my phone covered under warranty?
Me: because the warranty only covers your computer issue that we fixed.
Client: BUT YOU SAID I HAD A WARRANTY!!!!!
It was at that moment I wanted nothing more than to sink into the wall behind me and wash my hands of this insanity.5 -
Scammer calls claiming to be windows security expert.
Them: "sir, your windows computer is sending error code. Please turn it on so I cam Fix it. "
Me: "windows? I have a mac."
Them: "um.... " *hangs up*
Me: gotcha3 -
I once worked Tech Support for a point of sale software package. There was really no internal help desk, so we got all of those questions as well.
One day our front receptionist that her computer is being really weird and she can't type - it keeps inserting 3s in the middle of what she is typing.
I take the short walk down the hall to her desk and see that, indeed, a never ending string of 3s is being input to her screen.
"I can't figure out what's wrong." she says.
Then I reach over and remove the edge of an open binder whose edge was resting on the 3 key and enter key on the num pad.
"That should fix it."
Walked back to my desk.1 -
My relatives: "Can you fix my computer/ipad/etc..."
Me: "Sure why not. I'l take a look when I have the time"
Lesson: Don't be so arrogant.2 -
I coded for a whole day (uninterrupted, literally woke up, grabbed my laptop and headphones and started) and suddenly, let wild parent shows up.
"Aren't you going to go out? You need to see some friends"
My response: As stated before, I have no friends, now leave
**Leaves**
**Comes back 2 hours later**
"Hey can you help me with my computer?"
Me: you didn't state the issue, what computer, what os, what you have done to fix it, have you even tried rebooting?
"Don't talk like that to me! Now come and help me!"
Me: nope, hint, answer the questions about your issue
"You rude piece of..."
**Starts screaming bla bla bla**
Wow, it has happened before that I treat people wanting help like me trying to debug, but I usually correct myself. I took it way to fucking far this time...15 -
Saw this on the interwebs. Left: customer. Right: employee.
The left one looks like a nice type of customer-person though.
I like to imagine that the employee-guy does not understand why the computer is not working, at which point the customer-person says: "Oh, I can fix that."5 -
Dude: Hey, can you help me with my website? It's for the final year project (IT and Hardware related degree).
Me: Sure, let me see.
Sends a .txt file with two <html> tags, not even closed.
Dude: Can you fix it so it appears with a menu on the top and news on the middle?
This guy got his degree and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know how to enter to the BIOS of a computer.
He probably doesn't know what a BIOS is.3 -
User gives me a Mac to work on, States that it “only needs Microsoft office Mac installed”
Okay.
Boot up the laptop....
**Mac OS X utilities**
Hmmm, odd. Reboot.
**Mac OS X utilities**
You’ve got to be shitting me. Call user —
Her - “NO! It was working when I gave it to you, you fix it. I’m not paying to get my laptop returned broken. It was working when I gave it to you!”
Me - “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I literally turned it on and this is what it stated * read her the message*
Her - “I don’t believe you, you did something to my computer.”
YOU FUCK! THE FUCK I DID! YOU LITERALLY JUST HANDED ME THE GOD DAMN THING! Can I PLEASE curb stomp this bitch, please....12 -
So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?
You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?
You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?
Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.
What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.
According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".
Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr4 -
Cute Girl: So you're like a computer guy, right?
Me in 2012: Yeah, I do some programming and...
Cute Girl: Ok *walks away*
Me in 2012: ........wait, come back! Don't go! I'll fix your printer for you! Or hack your friend's fb. Or make this cool app that you maybe have an idea for..? Don't leeeeeav...ah nvm, she's gone.5 -
Worst thing of being a dev: in family meetings, being asked by EVERYONE to fix their computers or check that weird issue in their smartphones4
-
Currently i have a small web dev project and i set up a live preview website so he cant see it developing and This literally Just happened
Client : hey, are you currently working on my website?
Me : Yes on my computer and working on it, can i help you with something?
C: yeah just a little bit, that logo on the top left are just a bit squeezed in size and stay like that since 5 days ago and it's bothering me, can you fix it?
Me : nah, its just a simple thing. give me a sec and try reload--
C: why is your voice echoing? Don't tell me you are coding in the bathroom
Me: ummm.. No... I guess...? (I Am)
C: 🤣
Me: sorry 😅4 -
You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4 -
A colleague named Sam was really pissed off today at an out sourcing firm from India.
My Boss outsourced an application to India based firm. Sam was the one handling the project after the handover. Sam coded a feature 2 weeks ago and moved to staging server for approval. After the sign off from the lead developer of the outsourcing firm, he moved the feature to production. For the past 2 days the application was crashing over and over again so Sam went to check and found out that the feature he coded was causing the issue. When he pulled the feature to his computer and had a look at the code, it wasn’t his code. The code he wrote was commented out and the lead developer of the outsourcing firm wrote new code.
When Sam emailed to him regarding this he replied that he re-wrote his code to fix issues with the feature. Sam and outsourcing firm lead developer had heated argument about this. It’s turns out that the outsourcing developer re-wrote the code without anyone’s approval and on production server.
The lead developer of the outsourcing firm was fired.7 -
I have nothing wrong with being frequently asked what I am majoring in. However, I am going for COMPUTER SCIENCE not FUCKING IT. Please for the love of fuck stop suggesting I try to get a job with some shitty company as an IT guy. I have no interest in being an IT guy. I want to fucking code shit, not fix your shit and help you do basic shit that you're too fucking incompetent to figure out.25
-
Anybody: so where do you work?
Me after a pause: i milk cows at local farm...
(too hard to explain afterwards, also avoid "fix my computer, phone, printer..." and "lets make a bitcoin mining app")4 -
My father's PC is almost dead.
The PSU is damaged and it turns on correctly 1 time out of 250 or more.
There are days that he tries to turn it on at 8am, and it can finally use it at 8pm.
Also the other HW components are old, so I tried to convince him to buy a new PC, there was an offer where they also give you for free a new 24 inches monitor (now he has a fucking 19 inches old one).
But he doesn't want to invest in a PC.
Even if he spends almost the entire day by surfing on internet and watching movies!
So, I recommended him to change only the PSU, the same identical model costs only €39.
But he doesn't want to invest in it... he prefers to lose the entire day trying to use his fucking PC.
I really don't understand why some people just don't want to spend a bit to improve their life!
The comfort is worth it... the time of life you're wasting to use that fucking PC is more important than €39.
I tried different times to find other possible issues, but it's clearly a PSU problem, so obviously I can't fix it using magic.
Not in my father's opinion... "You don't know anything about computer science... nothing! Go to your fucking university (I'm studing Computer Engineering), and study how to fix it!".
While he was saying that sentence, he was beating the case, because he's convinced that it's a better way to fix it.
I want to leave this fucking house right now.10 -
For all of you out there sitting infront of a computer all day, here's a handy pdf to help fix you're sitting posture and various other stuffs. Cheers :)
Fixing the computer guy posture:
http://kaasplateau.com/stretches.pd...6 -
Cousin: my computer is broke
Me: oh, what happened?
Cousin: i dropped it and now it doesnt want turn on, can you fix it?
Me: im a programmer...
Cousin: yeah but you can fixed its the same thing!
Me:4 -
The moment when you can't be bothered to tell family or friends what you do for a living so you just say working with computers....and the conversation normally stops there....
Also bonus when they contact you in the future to fix ALL their computer issues.....3 -
When it keeps happening every time but you're too lazy to fix it because you always remember it at 7am when you want to close the computer and go get some sleep...
Ugh...1 -
Anyone else having connection problems after the recent Windows 10 update? We've been slammed at work with them. If you do, here's an easy fix:
0. Go to Command Prompt (Run as Administrator)
1. First command:
netsh int ip reset resetlog.txt
(One of them will probably fail, that's fine.)
2. Second command:
netsh winsock reset
3. Restart the computer.13 -
There was a pretty big bug that I spent all day trying to pinpoint. It was getting really late, so I called it a night and went to sleep.
That night, I dreamed that I was still at the computer, debugging. I kid you not, in the dream I both found the bug and realized what the fix needed to be. In that moment, I woke up.
I ran straight to the computer down the hall, and sure enough, that was the issue and that was the fix.
Shoutout to the capabilities of the human brain.
Thanks, brain!4 -
I often get this question:
"I have this old computer. Can you fix it?"
My brother is a helicopter pilot, and he will probably never get this question:
"I have this old helicopter, that is literally falling apart. Will you fly it for me?"8 -
Grandmother: 'So do you use 1's and 0's for Programming?'
Mom: 'fix my Computer/Internet/handy/printer'3 -
Never ever open a computer while breathing...
I got a ticket to fix a computer from the production line that was turning itself off...
When I opened it, a dark dust from hell came right into my lungs... There were more dust in there than I've ever seen in my entire life... Combined...
I'm still sneezing 3 hours later, and a few black spots keep coming out with everything else...4 -
I'm a programmer, but I won't fix your computer! This would be like asking a musician to fix your radio.2
-
Local time: 10:45 AM
I get a call from a customer. "My computer isn't working," she says. "I can't get to Google."
"What does it say?" Ideas swirl through my mind as I ask the question. I've seen this problem before.
"'Your connection is not private,'" says she. "I just want to buy a program."
I instantly know what the problem is.
"What time does your computer say it is?" I say it calmly, almost with a knowing smile. Yes, this has to be the issue.
"Um... 1:40," she says, a drip of confusion in her voice.
"That's your problem," I say. "Just fix that and you'll be good to go."
The problem was resolved and all was good.8 -
our neighbor has very fast Wi-Fi (~200 MBPS) . but, he didn't tell us the password and we don't know where to ask
sis : You said that you are a programmer right?
me : Of course!
sis : So why don't you do your job?
me : Create an app?
sis : No! hack his Wi-Fi
me : *Hacked the Wi-Fi and give her the password*
another day, mom's phone got crazy,
mom: Allen! Come and fix this phone
me : *After looking at the phone*
me : It is the screen saver I installed earlier
but why people think that programmers are "Computer gods" ?15 -
SeniorDev: “OMFG..MalwareBytes is taking up almost 50% of my CPU!”
Me: “Didn’t you have a virus on your machine couple of days ago?”
SeniorDev: “Uh..yea..but it was cleaned up.”
Me: “Your OS might have been compromised. If your antivirus is still busy doing something, then it may be time to start over with a fresh re-install.”
SeniorDev: “No, that’s not it. This is just BS our Network admins don’t want to fix because I’m not a VP”
Me: “I’m pretty sure they don’t care.”
-in as much of a ‘I’m kidding’ tone as I could -
Me: “They would care more if you stopped going to inappropriate web sites on the company computer.”
SeniorDev: “I never go to those sites. It was a link to a charity web site my wife sent me. You know how those sites are. They are built by college kids, so they have no security and was hijacked. That’s how I got the virus.”
Me: “You actually said that to Jim and he believed it?”
SeniorDev: “Well ...yea because….oh …–bleep- you.”
"Jim" sits about 50 feet away, popped his head over the cube wall and smiled. It was awesome. -
Manager: Hey software engineer, how's the project going?
Software Engineer: Good, just debugging my code.
Manager: Debugging? What kind of bug are you trying to fix?
Software Engineer: The ones that make my computer turn into a lava lamp.
Manager: Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, how can I help?
Software Engineer: Well, I need a bigger monitor. My current one doesn't have enough real estate to display all the errors.
Manager: How about a second monitor?
Software Engineer: No, I need a bigger universe.
Manager: I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, keep coding. We have a deadline to meet.
Software Engineer: No problem, I have all the time in the world. I just need to find a way to slow down time.
Manager: I wish I had your optimism. Just let me know if you need anything else.
Software Engineer: How about a unicorn? I heard they're good at coding.
Manager: I'll see what I can do, but in the meantime, stick to using a keyboard.3 -
Self documenting code is a fucking myth you bloody sheep.
Write “self documenting code” then add a fucking comment or two explaining why the fuck the code deserves should be there because nobody can see what the fuck it is doing or understands how the whole collection of microservices works. I’m sick of spaghetti code bullshit full of accidental redundancy because it is impossible for anyone to realize why something is there at a glance.
I renamed different “Contract” classes today by adding numbers before code review.
Contract
Contract1
Contract2
Contract3
All of these classes are supposed to be the same but somehow they aren’t and you self documenting dumbasses missed it. Don’t gripe about the numbered classes in the repo… fix the fucking code and collapse the classes so we don’t have four sections of code describing the same fucking structure from a http get with different interfaces because four people couldn’t read the whole like some fucking computer.11 -
Doing occasional first & second level support besides my actual job of coding can be fucking annoying and time consuming.
Just let me code in peace and listen to doom metal!
"Blabla our 17 years old plotter does not respond blabla fix it please"
"My computer is so slow, make it faster"
Go die in your filthy office chairs by being pierced through the stinking butthole you ignorant endoplasmatische retikula!1 -
Oh hey remember when you fixed my computer 9 months ago? It's acting slow again, can you come over to fix it while I judge you for problems that were caused by me.
-
Only touching the topic slightly:
In my school time we had a windows domain where everyone would login to on every computer. You also had a small private storage accessible as network share that would be mapped to a drive letter so everyone could find it. The whole folder containing the private subfolders of everyone was shared so you could see all names but they were only accessible to the owner.
At some point, though, I tried opening them again but this time I could see the contents. That was quite unexpected so I tried reading some generic file which also worked without problems. Even the write command went through successfully. Beginning to grasp the severity of the misconfiguration I verified with other userfolders and even borrowed the account of someone else.
Skipping the "report a problem" form, which would have been read at at least in the next couple hours but I figured this was too serious, I went straight to the admin and told him what I found. You can't believe how quickly he ran off to the admin room to have a look/fix the permissions. -
I swear to God if “Microsoft testicle supprt” calls me one more time I’m going to flip. I think it may be time to set up a sandbox and get the fucks to “fix my computer.”
It would be a shame if instead of payment for their “support” their computers became infected with ransomeware...
I know what I’m doing today.10 -
DISCLAIMER: I don't remember this, my parents told me the story
So, when I was 3, my father brought a computer back home and I instantly loved it. It wasn't our computer, he brought it home to fix it. It had Windows 95 on it. After he fixed it, he oppened up MS Paint, or something, drew a line and handed me the mouse, where I proceeded to draw.
Mundane and boring, yes, but a week later, my parents bought our own PC, and explained how to install Win98, a process I actually understood 13 years later.1 -
Nightmare IRL:
Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.
You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.
Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.
Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.
PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"
FML6 -
opened up my laptop at the car dealership where I am chilling at rn while I wait on my car's service to be done.
I open my laptop and start working on some small fix that I had forgotten about for work.
OMG guess what? no one is looking at me doing shit in the computer because in reality no one gives a flying fuck like most of you attention whores wanna make it sound like.
No one thinks you are hacking because you opened up a terminal in public.
Bola de jotos ridiculos.15 -
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in here a flat tire. three men try to solve the problem
the project manager said: let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we will reach out destination.
the computer programmer said: we have drivers guide.I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive.
commuter operator said: first of all turnoff the engine and turn it on again. may be it will fix the problem.
suddenly a Microsoft engineer passed by and said: try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get on and try again. -
As we're all going about our various Easter, Passover, et al., family celebrations, I have the perfect solution to help train your families to stop asking you for help with mundane computer stuff:
Every time someone asks you to do/fix something, give them a full talk about what is going on in their computer around that system.
Don't forget you can talk about lots of things too:
- concurrency
- TCP IP / socket networking
- multi-threaded programs vs. single threads
- RISC vs. CISC processors
- Why linux is better than Windows or Mac
- algorithms
- logarithmic runtime
- teach them how to convert between hex, binary, and base ten
Really pour it on too. Soon they'll either figure out that you are a highly-skilled individual who is not their personal geek squad, or they'll be too afraid of a big lecture to ask for help.
Works with my in-laws like a charm.5 -
being a first year IT student:
- help, I can't check-in to my flight
- my computer is slow, I heard you can fix it (still runs xp)
- can you fix the printer?
- my laptop is broken (error message pops up with the actual solution) and there was an error
- did you read it?
- did I read what?
Is this gonna get better anytime soon?18 -
Not much of a story but about 2 years ago, I had just got to the mall (at its opening time so many shops were still closed). While walking through to find a place to eat while my mother went grocery shopping, my phone started buzzing. Upon checking; it had hundreds of notifications and emails. Our production server was malfunctioning.
Not much that I had to do, but I ran around to find a computer store to use their model computers to see what was happening.
However, while the problem was fixed, I did notice how friendly Mac stores were as opposed to windows dealers that day. Windows dealers did not allow me to use the computers while the Mac store connected me to wifi and allowed me all the time needed to fix my issue. 👀 -
WARNING: There is a dangerous malware out in the wild, and chances are, you have it installed on your computer.
It's called Windows Update, and it is marketed as a software that "delivers security patches to your PC". Wrong. What it actually does is hard-reboot your computer at randomly picked time intervals without asking for your consent, or even showing any type of warning, basically deleting all unsaved progress that you've made in your programs or games. It also deletes/undoes all registry tweaks that you might have made (e.g. to the context menu), it deletes your nvidia display configurations, uninstalls any custom themes that you might have installed, possibly even downloads another malware disguised as "Microsoft Edge" and shoves it in your face on next boot without giving a possibility to close it. Oh and it might also make your computer unbootable so you have to go to the advanced recovery settings to fix it manually.
Yes, everything I just mentioned above happened to me about an hour ago. This LITERALLY classifies the software as a malware (Google: "software that is specifically designed to disrupt, damage, or gain unauthorized access to a computer system"). If we throw in all the data collection that happens without your consent, Microsoft actually manages to check not only one, but all three boxes in the "malware" definition.
Pleas, stop using microshit, and switch to linux as soon as possible if you can.24 -
I put this picture as my whatsapp profile picture to stop the countless amount of how do I fix this device questions.
Who else here gets irritated when family and friends asks you to fix their computer or printer or ask you what device they should buy2 -
!rant
Neighbouring nursing student asked me to recommend her a good laptop. I take a look at her existing one and it's an ultra book in pretty much decent condition. I ask her what her issue with this one is and turns out there's not enough space on the hard disk (30 GB SSD). I advice her to consider upgrading instead of buying a new laptop and she agrees. She also asks me if I can fix the track par of the laptop as it's not working. I take a look at the system tray and then work my computer science magic (press the fn+F9 to activate the trackpad) and boom! It's a miracle and she's squealing with delight. I even ran a disk cleanup and wiped 3Gigs of space so that she could continue downloading the episode from Netflix.
I hear a lot of you people complain about being asked to do outrageous tech shit because you're a computer person but man, I sure love being the "tech guy". :D16 -
General approach : I'm wasting my time by just sitting in front of computer all day. Since I'm freelancer, almost all of my work can be done at one place. They think, I should get a REAL job.
When they need help with tech : I'm the guy who knows everything about tech and can fix their mobile, printer, toaster, washing machine and nuclear warfare.
When it comes to admiring what I do, I'm just a useless piece of shit but, when they need technical assistance I'm their lord and savior!!1 -
Sometimes I feel people underestimate us.
During all my life, people has asked me if I can fix their *any device* because it goes slowly/something doesn't work.
But, of course, for free. Because they think the only thing we do is pushing 3 buttons and everything is done. They think everything solves itself easily.
Then is the fact that we should be able to fix everything always. Even if the hardware is broken. Even if there isn't any way to solve the problem.
I think we deserve a little bit more from society. I don't expect people to understand what we do but at least something better than the guy who formats your computer when it starts to go slow.
(Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way or it's just where I live, idk)2 -
Don't you just love it when relatives ask you to "fix his computer" and you end up opening it up to remove dust that's from 100 years back.. Oh, and for free of course since "we're relatives"1
-
What you are expected to learn in 3 years:
power electronics,
analogue signal,
digital signal processing,
VDHL development,
VLSI debelopment,
antenna design,
optical communication,
networking,
digital storage,
electromagnetic,
ARM ISA,
x86 ISA,
signal and control system,
robotics,
computer vision,
NLP, data algorithm,
Java, C++, Python,
javascript frameworks,
ASP.NET web development,
cloud computing,
computer security ,
Information coding,
ethical hacking,
statistics,
machine learning,
data mining,
data analysis,
cloud computing,
Matlab,
Android app development,
IOS app development,
Computer architecture,
Computer network,
discrete structure,
3D game development,
operating system,
introduction to DevOps,
how-to -fix- computer,
system administration,
Project of being entrepreneur,
and 24 random unrelated subjects of your choices
This is a major called "computer engineering"4 -
I don't think it's to complicated...
Dumb clients, no matter who they are if they want you to fix their computer ... Create a new Twitter , hack, when you don't hack.
They make our lives hell .. why ? Because ignorance.
My favourite is when they expect you to work for nothing.oh but you can have 2% it's a billion dollar idea you'll make like 20 mill!😒🙄 All I'll do is sit here since i was the genius if the idea you work out the details ? 400 hours you say? I'm sure it'll take 20 don't be silly now.1 -
Dad: “Cool! Now you can sit around like you always do!” 😑
Mom: “So you are programming the computer? Can you show me how to do x on my computer/iPhone?” Except it’s the same questions every single time... She never learns...
Brother: Talks to me about jailbreak stuff
And of course, they all ask me how to fix things on different electronics.3 -
Friend: what do you do?
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: could you fix my computer ?
Me: Kill Me(Thinks). -
A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keeps quiet for the moment)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support: (hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE <nosmoke> at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech: (hush hush)
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of the power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.3 -
Every time I tell someone my major they respond the same way: “I know your job prospects look good! I need my computer fixed right now...”
Yeah, let me write you a script real quick that will fix the screen you busted when yo sat on your laptop.1 -
So... Lots of rants about hacking.
Let me yell you a story...
Two decades ago I was asked to fix the school library computers and block then from using mIRC.
I cleaned all the machines, reinstalled the pirate copy of windows I was provided, blocked installing programs, blocked running of programs except the ones required (office, Netscape) and vnc in every computer, that I could access in a off-site computer.
Next day all the computers had mIRC... Just to show how kids are smart... Someone changed the MIRC.exe to iexplore.exe and that way could execute any program he wanted...
Invisible hard drive? Just use command line (so he could copy mIRC to a hidden folder)
Still, scared lots of kids, wen watching porn and a message would pop up , asking to not watch porn in school, but never couth the guy -
Because I work with computers all day, my friend automatically thinks that I know what every file type does, how to hack everything and fix every computer related issues...
-
Just because I know how to program doesn't mean I know how to fix your goddamn computer. We have an IT support team. Call them!
Don't come to my desk asking about a computer problem, then stand there with a vacant stare when I say I can't help you. I've given you the support team's contact info several times already. I assure you, they specifically get paid to configure your emails, install printers, setup your VPN, etc. Now where the hell was I at...1 -
We had a wifi connectivity issue at work and all this guy had to do was unplug the power cable and plug it back in. Dude left the office to find me to fix the wifi issue since according to him, "he's seen me writing that weird stuff (code) on my computer"... And I'm all like..
-
Meanwhile at my place (Translation L-R):
"Wow! Are you good at hacking?"
"Please hack my neighbor's Wi-Fi"
"Download me some movies!"
"Are you good at math?"
"Please fix my phone!"
"Can you remove the virus on my computer?"
"How many hours do you sleep in one day?"
"Put some cheats on this game!"
"Please hack my boyfriend's Facebook account!"
Yep, my family and even the entire neighborhood are ignorant of what I do as a dev!
FFS I'M NOT A PC REPAIR MAN!!! 😤😤😤😠😡1 -
Is it possible to find a fix to a bug while you’re having a lucid dream?
Because as soon as I woke up I ran to my computer and heck it actually worked!
Which would mean subconscious mind knows why every error is occurring and how to fix it.
Which means our subconscious mind is playing our conscious mind.
Superiority complex.10 -
First thing, give the schools enough money to buy proper IT equipment and hire at least one person who does IT full-time per school so that the CS teachers or whoever runs the school's IT infrastructure doesn't have to worry about it at all times.
(Hopefully, the ban on cooperation here in Germany will be lifted and the federal government will be able to subsidy all schools at least financially in that aspect.)
Then, educate all the teachers, for fuck's sake.
It is sad to see an otherwise good teacher in a technical subject at a technical college struggle with the basics. Teachers should have continuing education in computer science and also should be comfortable working with technology.
There are some good CS teachers and some who're also nerds but they can't fix everything nor educate every colleague. Unpaid and in their free time, mind you.
Then, update the learning materials for CS. I've seen/worked with some of what is used in schools today and it's definitively not worth the money but it has to be bought anyway. At best, education materials should be open-source so knowledge can grow and be updated more quickly.
Also, don't rely too much on big cooperations just but cause they offer you shiny materials and discounts. -
So my girlfriend was Gavin wifi problems and she calls me to fix it with vague description of what's happening (not even enough to google).
"But I'm a programmer?"
"And?"
"That's networking, they're quite different"
"It's computer stuff it can't be that different"8 -
Goes back to high school.....
Me: This laptop is having issues logging into the network. I have tried restarting as well as restarting the WiFi. You probally should submit a ticket so IT knows it is broken.
Teacher: They would not fix it anyway.
Me: *facepalm*
TL;DR: Teacher thinks that telling IT to fix a computer would result in nothing happening.1 -
What really gets on my nerves?
People that think I can fix every computer problem there is, just because I'm a developer and therefore must know everything about PCs.
What do I look like, a Tech Wizard?16 -
FUCKING HELL!
I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.
Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh1 -
In 11th grade I had a shitty teacher who would make students go away from this one computer he always used in the computer lab. It was pretty annoying because he only ever used it to watch YouTube videos of fuckall Bollywood news and other garbage like it.
It was extremely annoying and inconvenient to everyone.
One day, I went to his PC, when he was not there, and reallocated the default way to open all .exe files to nothing, using the Windows Registry.
He came back and saw that none of his applications work and his PC is basically unusable now.
It was extremely funny for a few days to watch the IT guys try to fix but they weren't able to.
Now I don't know what they told the school but a month later they bought a completely new CPU and placed it instead of that one.
So fucking stupid.2 -
Uncle gives me a call one day - "hey aren't you a computer science graduate? Can you fix my computer for me it does not open Internet Explorer"
Me - 😖😡3 -
>Friends computer starts to "freeze"
>They say im a computer genius and that i can fix it
>All i had to do was click on the screen once
I need more coding buddies. -
So my Dell laptop has been freezing for a couple of weeks.
I thought it was the Slack desktop app that was causing it, so I uninstalled it. Still froze.
So I did a whole bunch of things on it to try to fix it, even restarting Windows 10. Still froze.
Then I thought it was the Dropbox app that was causing it, so I disabled it from starting up when I turn on the laptop. For a while, the laptop didn't freeze.
Then my desktop computer started freezing too from time to time. I was like, "WTF!"
It could be the Windows Update that's causing it, because there was an update going on around the time the freeze-ups happened. Now my laptop is on the "Getting Windows ready, Don't turn off your computer" screen after hard-booting it.4 -
While I'm not a dev, I do love computers and I do know my way around them, so friends/family often ask me for tech support.
Friend: Please fix my computer!
Me: what's wrong with it?
Friend: *sends me pic of blue screen of death*
Me: ...
Me: I don't think you understand -
"could you fix my computer this weekend?"
hmpf...
"kay"
"i already found an infected File and removed it"
"WHAT?"
"yes, Windows tried to prevent me from deleting but I opened console and removed it"
"where was it?"
"somewhere it a folder called System or so"
HOLY FUCK WHY CANT YOU JUST LEAVE IT AS IS IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU EXACTLY DO????2 -
yesterday..
- OMG ${LINUX} you work with computer? Can you fix my printer!?
I never learn to not talk about what I work with2 -
My workplace has been forcing me to work everyday for almost a month now. I've been working at least 8-10 hours from Saturday to Thursday, and 2-3 hours on Friday as well. I'm so exhausted. I can't sleep properly. All I do is work. I have no time left to do things that I want to enjoy. I tried coding today but I'm too exhausted to do it. I was literally at 0 productivity today. I hate seeing my computer now. I don't know how to overcome this especially during the current lockdown situation. The work I do is not valued or appreciated and it's mentally breaking me honestly. I don't know what I want anymore. For sure another job but I need at least a temporary fix till the lockdown is over.
For those who know me or read through my profile, yup it's the same company. The reason I haven't left them even after all this is because this is a really tough time for me financially and I have no other sources of income and right now at my place there are no job opportunities. So the only option is to continue with the existing work place.6 -
When all of your friends know you're a web programmer, and for some reason assume this also means you know how to fix the viruses they have on an old Windows XP computer. Like, seriously wut? 🙄1
-
I decided to do a daily Blender render just as a creative challenge for myself. I was so excited because I built an awesome computer this year and was eager to put it to use, only to be hit with seemingly random BSODs and crashes a couple seconds into the render.
As it turns out, my CPU cooler is woefully inadequate to handle 32 threads running at once, which was the cause of my crashes. Turning the render threads down to 8 keeps the temps low enough to finish the render.
In a way, it's a relief because the alternative was a problem with my $900 GPU. I've ordered a bigger CPU cooler and well reviewed heatsink paste which will hopefully fix it. If not, I'm going to have to go water-cooled, which I really don't want to do.34 -
Got a strange thing today in class, as a teacher in programming. We have a lab where the computers haven't yet their final configuration ended, so the user used by the students is the administrator of the computer. And today, a student calls me and tell "sir, the password isn't the one you gave to us" (temporary the same for each machine until we fix the configuration).
Go to student's place, password incorrect with a hint "you know the code : up, up, down, down... oh, you don't know, huh? Too old! Too bad!"
Password was - off course - "konami".
But... how a student born in 1997 can think he can troll me with the konami code?!
He wasn't even born when I played on the NES as kid!
Sometimes I'd like to teach my students how to fly by tossing them by the windows...1 -
Worst of an job in IT? Coming home and having to fix computer still.
I fucking hate it. I fucking hate computers. There might be great stuff like nifty algorithms, grand theoretical theorems about formal languages, Lisps,... BUT that's so far away from the mundane atrocities we have to put up with when it comes to sth like installing a printer.
Newest release of driver won't install a plugin without helpful error. Older release works.. for printing some pages... Then some component (cups-filter) keeps on segfaulting.6 -
I like to build, tinker, and create with code.
That doesn’t mean I like to fix your computer, diagnose your internet issues, teach you to use your desktop UI, or google the same question you asked me to show you google has the answer 😑2 -
the look of disbelief you get from non devs when you Google how to fix a "generic computer problem" they have asked for help with... as though it's your job to just know every minute detail
-
Struggling with Linux driver bullshit today. Trying to update the graphics driver completely hosed the networking, second monitor (HDMI), and I assume a bunch of other stuff. I tried using the Additional Drivers utility and it nearly made my system non bootable. So on my second computer I had to look up how to unfuck my machine using the command line. Yet another classy set of bullshit from Gnome. The driver for all this was trying to fix some java programs that show wonky depending upon where the window is on my second display. After unfucking the machine I found that resetting all the display settings for both displays magically fixed the java program fuckery. How the fuck? Literally setting things like display resolution, default display, moving virtual displays around. This bullshit somehow fixed display problems with java apps.
So I decided there is a perfect OS out there somewhere, but it isn't iOS, it isn't Windows and it isn't Linux. I decided to make the Perfect OS, or P-OS for short. Gonna use P-OS as a fake OS in my games I make. lol15 -
Windows 10 Rant:
Windows 10 has so many frustrating issues. Most recent being when my computer, if the PC goes into sleep mode, or sits unused for 40 ish minute period of time (screen still on), when I return; awake the computer from sleep or sit back after being away, the WiFi stops working. Turning WiFi on and off again doesn't fix it, only way is to restart the device, which is damn annoying if you have multiple windows, chrome tabs, or programs running. Having to open and set everything back up is a complete pain.
I must point out, this issue only started happening when my device (auto) updated itself to the Anniversary build of W10.
Thanks Microsoft.2 -
A school-related rant:
Went to my school yesterday to get my computer science degree, aaaand....
Surprise! You got a degree in Liberal Arts! Even though when you graduated, it said Computer Science and thought they already fixed the problem about me graduating with Liberal Arts instead of CS! Nope! Still Liberal Arts!
Sigh, fuck that school. I'm sure when my wife finds out about it, she'll definitely flip out and make me fix this, because she also spent time for me to finish school and get a stupid degree. I just don't wanna deal with it anymore and instead keep learning on my own, make projects, and be so good that employers can't ignore me.7 -
Back when I lived in my university dorm I shared my room with internet admin. Usually I helped people with internet problems when he wasn't there and I've placed FAQ on the door how to fix common stuff with a little note, that I can help only with internet problems and only with those that aren't listed. It worked for most people, but one guy knocked and messaged me around 5 times a day to fix his system. So I've decided to finally do what he wants.
He: come on, I heard from XYZ that you are an admin in job and you fixed her computer.
Me: but I work only with servers
He: what's the difference? Just copy my photos to my external drive and install new system on my laptop, just like you do it in job.
Me: so this is that simple job?
He: yup, but I need a laptop tomorrow, because I have something to do at the evening.
Me: okay
I've used find to copy all the photos from his HDD and installed minimal Debian without xorg on the laptop. He hasn't come back after picking up his computer. And that's the way to get rid of leechers that whine for fixing everything because you are IT guy :D1 -
i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.
every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.
i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.6 -
I am starting to get really annoyed by shitty devs and tech leads from other teams that ask me to fix urgently a "problem" with my project they rely on, but turns out they did not even debug the fucking thing in the first place to understand where the problem comes from.
Turns out someone used the wrong parameters on his duct taped jenkins CI and instead of finding the reason for the failure, he just assumed my code did not work.
This is the last time I'm helping you fucks before a release while I am on holidays in my country. Worst thing is you guys are paid twice my salary in US dollars but you still can't code and debug for shit.
How about telling me truth when I asked you guys if everything was working fine before I took my vacations? Do you fucking test your shit for fuck's sake? Nah you guys just suck ass.
I will turn off my computer when off work from now on and uninstall slack and emails from my cell phone. These guys are not competent enough to use those tools properly.3 -
!Dev
I dislike the idea of therapists. I mean, not the people who study human behaviour to help understand it but the people who try to "fix" another person's problems.
My reason for this is that they're human themselves and I'd say it's pretty obvious that we don't know exactly how the mind works so it's basically like trying to fix an airplane with only half or even less of the blueprints.
The reason I don't like them being human themselves is because we are fallible, you can't guarantee or at least have a extremely high probability of the same prevention or treatment rate as you maybe could with a computer. It's not repeatable. Then again, we don't have the "blueprints" so to speak so it's kind of hard to say.
Your thoughts?5 -
Recently got a new widows laptop, I was so excited.
Spent a free hours trying to fix the hard drive which is spinning at 100% making the computer slow... still haven't found the problem.
So I coded on a Mac instead
...and then I found 20 dollars4 -
Ah Christmas again...
That time of the year to fix your parents computer problems or in my case I am still trying to eliminate windows XP...2 -
yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..
but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..
just understand it , God damn these shit people :( -
We had a lab in middle school, 5th grade, I think, where they had a few Apple IIe computers.
I remember one day looking over at a smart friend's screen and he was playing a flight simulator. I'd never seen anything like it before. When I asked him how he did it, he showed me a computer magazine where all the code was published for it. He had typed the whole thing in and saved it to a floppy.
It was part of a turning point for me when I was deciding between social groups: wanting to be a dumb jock or wanting to be smart. Thanks to that kid's example, I chose being smart. It cost me dates with the hot girls later in high school when I should have been carrying a pager for all the teachers who needed me to fix their computers for them, but I made sure to cry all the way to the bank when I was eventually making six figures. -
Just got asked to fix a friend of my mom’s (whom I have met all of once) brother’s computer. 😒
It’s a stereotype and it’s so frigging true. -
I have a 24 hours hackathon tomorrow (25 hours actually because of the time change).
I want to learn and create an app and I opted for xamarin as a development platform. Problem was: I didn't have enough space in my windows partition (it's a ~40Gb partition in a 128Gb ssd) so, as I am not using Ubuntu that much I simply deleted its partitions from Windows and installed visual studio with xamarin. I played a bit with it, everything was working fine, I switched it off and I was feeling great for my wonderful problem solving abilities and I was ready to go to bed to have a nice 10 hours sleep before the big event. I was about to sleep when I realised it was my cousin's birthday and I hadn't said "happy birthday" so I switch my computer back on and there I realised how much I had fucked up.
The grub wasn't working anymore and I couldn't boot.
I've just spent the last 3 or 4 hours trying to figure out how to make my computer boot normally using my housemates' laptops to create bootable USBs for Windows and Ubuntu
Thanks to some random commands in the trial version of Ubuntu I managed to disinstall the grub and make windows start but thanks to my experimentations while trying to fix the problem I am now waiting for visual studio + xamarin (~35Gb) to download and install again.
Tomorrow's gonna be great7 -
i hate people who join the company with a engineering in computer science degree and then can't even setup freaking java on their system.
like that is one of the basic languages taught to programmers, how do you graduate CS yet not know how to setup java!!!!!
this idiot today tired setting up eclipse without java and got errors and comes to me saying your files are corrupt.... i ask what happens and he shows me a error message box saying cannot find java paths... and then says i keep getting this error!!!
like freaking read the damn error and fix it. you're an engineering graduate for gods sake!!!!10 -
Started up KiTTY to connect to my virtual test server per usual when I couldn't establish a connection.
Nothing too unusual so I do the typical troubleshooting I make sure host, port and authentication is all correct and it is. So now I open the display for the virtual server and start looking at ip info, host info, checking ports and everything is completely fine.
Now I'm getting frustrated so I start running things like configtest in apache, using systemctl to check the services status, even restarting virtualbox in my windows 10 devpc. Still cannot connect!
I start feeling hopeless and just shut everything down, the whole operating system.
*takes breath*
Computer boots up and I start my usual thing of creating workspaces, opening editors, starting servers, etc.
I open KiTTY again and launch my virtual test server..
konicm8ker@VM-UBUNTUSERVER:~$ _
Somethings you just can't fix without a reboot. -
I was working at a doctors office while going to (and still attending) college. Everyone knew my major was computer science which meant everyone came to me when their browser didn't open. The night before April fools I turned off all of the wireless mice and used a label maker to print out "April Fools" on the bottom of each mouse next to the "on/off switch." This prank is miniscule in comparison to others here I'm sure, but the next day was my day off and I had the entire office calling me asking me to come in and fix it. "Taco what do we do???" They frantically asked. And so I very calmly said, "Did you turn the mouse over?" And hung up.
-
Phone meeting with the makers of a program the company uses regularly:
Me: "so I believe you received the list of problems we have run into recently, can you walk us through how to make the changes necessary to fix them?"
them: "we see none of these errors"
me: "that's impossible, we had all of them yesterday, they crashed a few servers"
*checks version number on program, it's different*
me: "hold on one second"
*checks computer log, they were logged in this morning before I came in*
I figured out they received the list, fixed it, and then turned to us and said we didn't know what we were talking about because none of the errors were there, because they wanted to look superior.
Fuck those guys. -
Took a week of PTO for a vacation because I'm pretty close to spent these days. Planning on getting in some kayaking and fishing I think, maybe some noodling on the guitar or read some Tolkien, as I really need to take a break from the computer and screens in general, and living in the latest COVID epicenter in the US I can do fuck all else.
I'm /really/ trying to force myself to ignore slack and work emails. I did all I could to leave my team prepared, and given that most are juniors who need A LOT of supervision since working remote, I fully anticipate having to fix everything and get shit back on track when I return next week. Telling myself it's inevitable so worrying about it now won't be any better than waiting till next week. LEARN TO READ CODE AND COMMIT HISTORY FUCKERS!
I know I have a full workload slated for the rest of the year and into Q1 21, so I know letting shit go for a little while is the best thing I can do for myself, and so that my family doesn't have to deal with me being a bastard all the damn time.3 -
when your family comes to you to fix every problem with their computer and you're too tired of explaining what you actually do, so you put on your most professional look and hope for the best2
-
Todo list when you tell someone you are developer:
1. Fix slow computer
2. Remove virus.
3. Help with Microsoft Word
4. Check why printer is not working -
My boss is going to his brother's place and his taking me with him to fix their computer and internet dead-zone issue.
Just Great!3 -
Why do people think that I'm a computer technician? I'm not here to fix your WiFi or make your system faster. Leave me alone! I got my work to do.1
-
I'm pretty sure that I have some guys inside my computer that sometimes fix bugs or break builds overnight without me even touching the code.1
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When people (mostly girls) ask me what I study in college and immediately answer themselves with "oh it's IT or something like that, right?" a part of me just dies. They literally think I'm studying how to work at help desk or fix printers. I'm not even exaggerating, a girl once told me she actually thought that. I'm not sure if she's just dumb as fuck or if most people actually think that about computer science, hopefully it's the former...15
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This Macbook Pro (2017 model I think?) is probably. the worst computer I've. purchased in my life. Really, the worst electronic device surpassed only by my old Xbox 360.
Not only is t he keyboard absolute shit. as. you can see from the way this was typed and riddled with extra spaces and dots, but apparently. the way the monitor was built doesn't. let y ou simply replace the flex cables if they kick the bucket, you have t o replace. the entire screen. Because reasons.
It seems it was a common issue but. they won't fix i.t without charging you for THEIR fuckup.
Never again.20 -
Goals before wk200:
0. Get the hell out of this Geophysics faculty and transfer to Computer science faculty in university which I was dreaming of since I was high school freshman.
1. Meet my girlfriend. (I'm in long distance relationship and there's a huge ocean between us).
2. Get to be able to learn probability in Math so I can understand AI topic.
3. Get better money from my amazon business.
4. Get better sleep.
5. Stop being so scared of dentists and go fucking fix my tooth that hurts.
6. Lose weight.
7. Don't buy video-games that I'm not going to play after a week and forget about it.
8. Listen to the Math lectures.
9. Stop feeling the need to kiss the girl that sits next to me in university (Which is by the way my BFF ).
That's all I can think of yet.5 -
So all my friends keep calling me a negative person because I always correct them on how easily they can be hacked.
Friend: Hey (my name) I am going to buy a new computer and I will make you happy and not download illegal games on to it.
Me: That's a really good idea. Now shouldn't you also buy a virusscanner or at least make a full system back-up in case you get hacked.
Two days later
Friend: Yeah I got my new pc and can now finally play Kerbal Space Progran on it. It's stupid though that this dlc costs money so I downloaded it illegaly. But don't worry. I'll stop doing that from now on.
Another two days later I am spending my whole day trying to fix his computer because he downloaded a Trojan Horse that took over his computer and he had no virusscanner or back-up.
The problem is that I am 99 percent sure that such a thing is going to happen again and he'll be standing on my doorstep to fix it for him. Just let the doomsayer that is good with computers fix it and repeat the whole process all over again😒.7 -
Yesterday, my boss asked me to solve a certain problem the company has with my code.
I tried reproducing it for a very long time but still couldn't manage to do it.
Ultimately (after my boss has been no help at all), I changed some stuff and sent the revised version with this message:
"I couldn't reproduce the problem, so here is a revised version with some changes that **could potentially** solve the problem you're facing."
She immediately decided that the entire company was switching to this version and thanked me. There is no way she tested it that fast. She just saw this might be a fix and didn't bother with the details. I have no idea if the update fixes the problem or even if it won't break anything else. I tried to explain the situation to her but she asked, "Are you saying this works on your computer?" and I was like "Yes, but..." and she didn't care about anything after the Yes, and I just know that when the problem will occur the complaint will be directed at me, and I'm sick of it.3 -
Why is so hard to find engineers that actually care? It feels like the majority of people always want to do the bear minimum, no one wants to fix their shitty code even when it clearly violates the project or company standards. Everyone constantly comes up with shit about why they can't do things properly or how they'll fix it later and then get their mates to push their shit through review. The majority of lower management usually care equally as little so there's no point explaining the situation to them and the lack of care probably goes much higher. It seems like so many people go from job to job getting bump after bump in salary, which granted is absolutely fine and probably advised, but have nothing to show for it. Usually very little skills but alleged mountains of experience and a lazy piece of shit attitude. I hear all the time people saying you'll never change anything so why try and it feels like that most of the time but more because everyone keeps saying it. If everyone pulled their fingers out their arse, maybe we would stand a chance. I'm sure a lot of people on here have a real passion for computer science, whichever division you're in and love to learn and improve and reflect. What I really want to know is how you deal with people who are just taking their paycheck and enjoying the ride but don't actually care and how you discover these people as early on as possible to get shot of them.14
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Never be afraid to break something your working on! You’ll gain so much experience from trying to fix it including your own computer!2
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My parents "know" that I build websites. The funny part is the "how" I build them. For them, I call obscure forces and make a sacrifice. And thus, the website is done. So they don't really know how I do it, but I have their deepest respect and pride. Plus, I don't get to fix anyone's printer / computer 😍2
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Cars
I love classic cars because of their simplicity.
I don’t want to remove dozens parts, need computer or call support to fix simple car problem.
Mechanical solutions were good and reliable in some of the old cars so we can still renovate them and use them after 50-60 years, we won’t be able to do it with modern cars so we are in fact producing lots of waste.
Today’s car companies are ripping off their customers by providing overcomplicated solutions that prevent customers to repair a car on their own.
And don’t let me start about proprietary car software and protocols.
That’s a big world problem right now. -
Helped an elderly neighbour to fix his landline connection, since it broke down.
Somewhat an emergency, cause he don't have a mobile phone.
It seems, this got around and another neighbour asked if I could plug in his new printer and install the drivers.
Gosh, RTFM and don't buy hardware you can't handle.
No, I won't fix your computer. -
Employer: hey we need you to fix this computer.
Me: but Im a cashier?
Employer: but your studying computer science? Just use that knowledge...
Me: yeah? My labor cost for computer work is 20 an hour not 8.75.1 -
Hi my named bluescreen and I'm addicted to coding ....
Feel like I should be at some kind of Coders AA meeting .....
I'm having a few days off work, this is my 3rd day and I'm already twitching because I've not got my daily fix of coding (wife won't let me near a computer when I'm on holiday)
I've never had any kind of addiction except coding. I feel really uncomfortable not doing anything, coding is my job and hobby.
I normally come on here to rant / read posts but today I'm browsing just on the off chance that I see some code ....
I need help ......6 -
I'm having to use MS Word again today, and yet again I want to punch my computer in the balls, and frankly I could pull a better piece of software out of a pig's arse.
So there is a feature that automatically adds up the figures in a column to give you a total. Useful, right?
No. Because the total doesn't update automatically. There is even a setting somewhere to have it update before save, and when you turn this setting on, it sometimes updates before save depending on what mood it's in.
You can have it reliably update before you "print to pdf", but not before you "save as pdf".
Fine, there's probably another setting buried somewhere that actually works, but why the fuck is it not turned on by default? What kind of moron wants an automatic total that doesn't update automatically?
I first encountered this feature about 20 years ago, and in all that time none of the thousands of developers at MS has thought "this is shit, let's fix it."
But that's what a developer does, surely. They look at things and say "this is shit, let's fix it".
If you've been looking at something that's so obviously shit, and so easily fixed, for 20 years and not had any urge to fix it, you're not a developer, you're a cretin.
The stupidity cries out from the earth for vengeance.5 -
Can't git push
because of an "access denied" error message
because I didn't set up my key file properly (with right paths, right format and so on)
because I'm working from my home laptop device
because I'm in home office
because Corona
..but..
I can connect to my work computer where git is set up properly but also I
can't git push
because I can't "cd" into the project path
because the samba mount point is messed up
because I don't reboot my machine to fix it
because I can't enter my password
because it does have a full hard drive encryption and the password screen shows up before the network services are started.2 -
Ok so first off i cant get my damn mic working, despite every setting change i can find and every driver update i can do and every damn mic i've used. Then i try updating windows ten because maybe thats the problem, sure enough after i've done that my whole damn computer is messed up. Even opening folders or applications take between five and ten minutes. Not to mention i can't open my windows settings to rollback. I literally build and fix computers for a living and yet i have not clue what else i can do at this point. Think i might renounce technology and float off into the Atlantic on a plank of wood :/4
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First "computer" : Electronika BK. Had some fun with table software and some basic
first X86 : Intel 80286 with wooping 1MB of ram and 40 MB hard drive.
First fun experiance :
Me : "I'm gonna clean folders"
Me : "What are these files on the c: ? I'll move them into a folder"
(Youknow like io.sys, autoexec.bat)
Reboots :
Computer : "Please insert a boot drive"
Me : "The what now?"
Needed some help to fix it.
At least I learnt how boot loader works and wrote my own small thingy in asm2 -
"Programmers Know Everything"
Im writing this as myself cause, well this tends to happen to me alot!
When ever a friend or a friend of a friend has an issue with a website or just their computer they run to me, which is all fine but if I say "I dunno? I never heard of this issue so I do not know how to fix the problem."
Their response is normal "But dont you do websites? Surely you know how to fix a virus or bluescreens ?? "3 -
I have fucking HATED Windows 10 from day one. Now I'm hearing there are new vacillations of this genius programming train wreck that I think is designed to force monetize Microsoft's business model.
After a short while I managed to get to a point where I can maintain W 7. In fact, I'm using my old computer right now. Because I could not get this rant to load onto Devrant website. If you are reading this we know that it is because 10 sucks consistently.
I save my files onto a backup hard drive so I can find 'paper file' type solution for whatever random crap might block me at the keyboard. In fact, I still use paper and file cabinets so "technology" doesn't bring me to a screeching halt every time something like "no record of that account" or "wrong password".
Why the hell does my PASSWORD work from W7 but not from W10?! And it's getting WORSE by the day! I'm about to take a fucking hammer to my new fucking computer. And to that guy who smarmy says something to the effect of 'don't be such a pussy... just fix it and you will be happy.' Well. Fuck you too!
Now. That being said. Anybody have a suggestion on what to try next? And don't say something like, 'take your computer to Micro Center or Geek Squad'. I've done those guys twice each. And for a small phenomenal fee they have each time made things slightly worse plus lost parts of my saved data each time.
Oh. And "reset to previous" doesn't work either.
Suggestions?
Probably better at this point to attempt to solve my own problems wrong for free at this point. Maybe I'll learn to program in Linux or some such thing.
Forrest
for suggestions please contact me at
res0naza@yahoo7 -
Trying to sleep. Looking at devRant. See a f ew rants about bugs which reminds me of my bug. Get out of bed and now behind my computer trying to fix the bug. Hope it's a quick one so I can go back to sleep
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So... about how I fell in love with coding
I was 12 years old when I went to mom’s work because I had nothing else to do. There was an iMac. At that time I used to have a PC at home with a Windows OS. When I approached MacOS at my mom’s office I had no idea what to do. Right before my mom had told me that I shouldn’t delete anything, all the documents are really important on there. So guess what I Did? In order to download Counter Strike 1.6 game I decided to install Windows OS on the iMac which deleted everything that was on the computer! Absolutely everything! So.. my mom told me to fix this after, and then I started to do some research and somehow learned python and javascript in next two months. Thanks to my mom!1 -
!rant
I always hear stories about someone hearing one of our developer friends is a developer and assumes that means they know everything about computers. Hell, I've had it happen to me before (usually the common "oh I have an app idea that's better than facebook! you just have to build it")
A big one I hear if someone asking a developer that has only worked with software to help fix a hardware issue or build a computer. Personally, I'd prefer if someone asked me about a hardware issue (except printers, fuck printers) or to build a computer for them. I've been called a rare breed for knowing about an equal amount about computer hardware and software.
I'd much rather do some physical work building a computer (as simple as a hello world program, a lot of it is putting shit where it fits) than build an entire website or program for someone. But I mean, I might actually know hardware a bit better than I know software, and that's just me. (Obviously never do anything for free when you could be paid for it) -
One time my friend was torrenting random programs and etc and he downloaded a ton of software. He got a ransomware and he didn’t know how to fix it, so his whole computer had to be cleared out and he never torrented again.1
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"Hii!! Hey, you are studying computer engineering right?? Can you see if you can fix my mobile pleasee??"
Come on guys... -
Fixed something that was giving our team a lot of trouble. Teammate asks, "How did you fix that?!?". I said, "I'm a code whisperer." Which really just means I whispered to the code, "Please work. Why won't you work. I just need you to work." The code replied, "Okay, but just this once. And only because you've been in the fetal position crying about me for two hours."
So apparently my computer is autonomous and talks now. What about you guys?1 -
Was checking what my coworker was up to. He was given a computer to fix by another coworker and the PC belonged to his child.
”Oh I just uninstalled Steam. It’s a bad software with loads of viruses that slow down your computer!”3 -
Here, in place I live, almost everyone use windows and I think people don't even know any other OS exists. Whenever anyone have problem in they computer and ask me to fix it, some other guy approaches and says "Let me fix it, he has no idea about computers!" This pisses me off a little bit!6
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36 or sth..
Trying to fix production for xy client without them noticing someone fucked up everything with the previous deploy.. (wasn't me)..
Anyhow, managed to deploy my changes plus fix for the previous fuckup.. in the morning it all worked as it should.
Why it took me so long? Because why bother writing down what changeset was used for deploy.. It's much more fun to guess.. Multiple times.. Anyhow, I managed to figure approximate code for that deploy & merge my changes & fix everything.. + later found out looooads of uncommited changes on the guys computer.. :/ So yeah, never trust a bunneh!! -
Why every time I tell someone I work in software engineering they start asking me how to fix their computer. I'm not an help desk person.
-
- Started learning python
- New semester's about to start in college
...and laptop got recked.
Shows the post screen and crashes and reboots repeatedly. Tried to fix it and now the display doesn't light up and the Hard-Disk makes screeching noise. I didn't even touch the display. HDD maybe.
Removed the HDD and tried to recover it from my friends PC, but it turns out it was already dead. All my data from 1 month ago is gone (thank god for external HDD) and I cannot learn python anymore cause I don't have any backup computer.
I don't even know if I can afford to get it repaired if they say they have to replace the entire motherboard in the laptop.
FUCK!!!4 -
When a friend told you that they have a problem and needs a Computer Science student's help ..
.. and it's about a broken flash drive.
I can't even fix my broken C code let alone fix a freaking flash drive.1 -
When people think that because they can "fix" computers that they should major in Computer Science. 😂2
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Someone in my family has a problem with their computer, and asks me to fix it.
Me: *sigh* "Let me Google that for you!"1 -
Get to work, reboot your machine to try to fix VS throwing way too many exceptions...get locked out of the computer cause keyboard stoped being recognized...Go to IT...now the mouse is not being recognized either...Well, this morning is just going downhill...
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My little brother started college this year. He hasn't decided what he wants to do, so he took classes in finance and computer science. During finals week, he comes to me ranting about GitHub. "It has to be the most useless tool ever made", he said.
His teachers made him use it without any explanation on HOW to use it. His whole team was working out of a single branch, downloading the zip every time, and struggling to fix merge conflicts. At no point was this ever corrected. This has been going on for an entire year!!!
Safe to say, I spent the afternoon walking him through more productive ways to use GitHub and showing him why it's not "the most useless tool ever made". I don't get why teachers for students to use tools but fail to ever explain how. All that is going to do is deter kids from using tools that could save them when they get a real job.6 -
> 9h05 AM
> Sit at my desk, time to work bitches, tomorrow's a vacation day!
> "Fuck Drupal, anyway where was I yesterday?"
> "Right, I needed to fix this load of crap"
> "Let's see what happens when I do this"
> Computer starts to overract
> Computer (Windows) is updating while running Virtualbox while handling a cancer mutated Drupal project
> Even the mouse is lagging like there is no tomorrow
> Manage somehow to make Windows reboot and update so he'll stop do shit
Currently posting this while said Windows is doing its thing3 -
Not a whole lot. But when I was 9 I started trying to fix an old Compaq computer that my parents replaced. I never actually got it to work but I did tear it apart and put it back together. Eventually a friend's parent gave me a a Dell that didn't work. Figured out it just needed a new HDD. Around that time my dad (who is literally the textbook definition of technically challenged) got a old textbook about computer hardware from a friend of his that was a bit of a hobbyist. This was in maybe 2006. The book was from 1988. I don't remember the name but it's somewhere in my parents house still. I didn't get much out of the book. Time passed and I started building computers. For myself, the local library, my friends. I ended up going to college for business while building computers on the side. I was making pretty good money for the amount of time I put into it. Eventually I ended up switching careers. My parents didn't really help me get into software but they offered encouragement. And a book from 1988 about computer hardware... So that's something.
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In high-school we had comp science classes which obviously hardly had anything to do with real stuff. In fact, our teacher was really clueless, so we decided to fool her. I made a tiny app that took a screenshot and set it as its background while being full screen and with hidden cursor. So it basically looked as if the computer was frozen. I also made it so pressing alt+f4 would set the background to a fake BSOD image. Next class we fired it up, the teacher tried everything to unfreeze the computer. She obviously failed, so we told her to try alt+f4. BSOD came up, she tried to fix it by hitting on the side of the PC. That didn't work so she unplugged it from the wall socket. We barely managed to not burst out in laugh, it was absolutely hilarious 😂
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I was told by my aunt that my niece (who also lives in Colombia) would call me (I live in the Netherlands). When I asked why she would call my aunt responded saying that she did not know. I was happy, it is not very often that my Colombian family calls me.
So I waited.... and waited... and waited... finally she called very late. Turns out she wanted to ask me which Smartphone was better.... :-(.
That was a disappointment... Normally if I go visit my familly there in Colombia they bring all there devices and ask me if I can fix them or install a certain program on it. I dont mind doing that. It can be very interesting. For example: a few months ago another aunt asked me to look at her computer to find out why it was so slow... turned out she had a very old PC with Windows XP installed on it. I fixed the problem by installing light linux distro on the computer. (she only used the browser so that was not a big problem). But yeah... I played for a while with good old Windows XP.
Okay back to the beginning. It is awful if family just calls you to ask witch phone is better.
Thats all... :-)3 -
So basically I am the computer guy in my office. If there is any hardware or software related problem, I am the guy who fix it or try to fix it in my own time.
Little bit of more backstory. Two month ago we got react native project from a client. My boss asked me if I want to do that project. he knew that I don't know react native but I want to learn it. So I said yes. I have worked over 12 hours per day to work on that project while learning react native ( I committed the final version to git today.)
Yesterday there was a meeting in our office about project deadlines and issue with current work and stuff. In that meeting one guy asked (this guy had personal beef with me) in rude way like why I am taking parts of pc and given other people. ( If there is any hardware issue, I use other parts from pc which are not currently in use. So basically a simpe resource allocation.)
I knew it was a targeted questio toward me but before I say anything, All people took his side. (I did all those repair after taking permission from my boss, so he did not take that question seriously.)
I spend lots of time fixing those problem so people work does not stop and this is the thank you I got in return. I did this over one and half year. Right now I am asking my self if I continue the work or not.
Note: I wrote this whole thing to get my anger out of me. Sorry for typos. I am little bit drunk and I am not good with English.2 -
Double rant....whattttt!!!
1) That moment when you're like god this code is awesome/I'm a genius/Can anyone else other than me even comprehend how to do something this awesome? AND THEN you shift to "wait a second..." Is this actually super convoluted/inefficient/there is a way easier way to do this? :o
2) Do people even know that google can provide them with like any and all of human knowledge? I feel like 50 times a day in my head I'm screaming "GOOGLE IT!!!!!!!!!!"
2 examples....
Earlier today I ctrl+alt+down arrow my co-workers computer because he left it unlocked and I was feeling especially awry so when he kept saying I don't know how to fix it, I was like google it!!!! I'm teaching you a valuable life skill...
Second. I was at my in-laws house and we got on the topic of what does "impeachment" actually entail? So my mother in law was like hmmm I thought it meant so and so....I'll have to ask my friend so and so the next time I see her....she's a political science major or something like that....
In my head....
I'm like.....
Or....
You could.....GOOGLE IT!!!!!!2 -
My wife’s computer just cannot work with Windows 11 anymore. It’s an older but still hardware rich gaming machine. I’m going back and forth between wiping the whole machine and installing Windows again to try to fix it. Or to wipe it and install a distro of Linux. I’ve been out of the inside track for Linux knowledge for 8 years. She doesn’t want to deal with anything command line all the time. And I don’t either. If I go Linux, what’s the best one that works with older machines and that’s easiest for someone nontechnical?16
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Friend knows that you are good at electronics so they say can you fix my computer and you just turn it off and it works😆1
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I casually solved a problem in some private code at work today that I didn't manage to fix the previous two evenings.
Then I forget to push the changes and remembered at home that I turned off my work computer which normally I never turn off so that I could TeamViewer into it (I don't have VPN
access).
Wanted to work on that code this weekend 😒
(Well, we were in a "progession session" meeting right before leaving the office so I kind of forgot about it because of that) -
I got a new computer recently. I got it with an evo 970. I tried installing the Samsung controller software so that I can view the health of the drive.
No go. Why?
Looked around and everywhere they are saying turn off raid. I checked in bios. Says my drive is not in a raid volume.
Okay, now what?
Look at manual of laptop maker. Says there is a mode that allows you to use either VMD or RAID on the drive. Apparently I was in VMD mode. I had already backed up the computer at this point. Yes, I suspected this was coming. So I changed the mode.
No boot.
Okay, I have Aomei backup and linux boot disk I made using Aomei. Linux boot disk won't boot... Well fuck.
Luckily I have my old computer and a Windows 10 install disk. I install Windows 10 again, install Aomei and proceed to try and restore.
4 hours later... I dunno how long. I went to bed.
Wake up and test.
No boot.
I try disk repair.
No go.
So I boot into Windows 10 install disk to look at partitions. 5 or 6 fucking partitions. It has installed 3 partitions into the space of one.
Delete all the fucking partitions. Cause fuck you!
Okay, lets try this again.
I make a window pe boot disk this time.
It boots.
I do restore while I am at work.
I get home.
No boot.
Check partitions and find only 2. Better than last time.
I try disk repair.
No go.
Search the net. Literally: "Aomei restore no boot"
Someone says, just assign drive letter with drive C using diskpart.
Seriously?! Disk repair couldn't figure this shit out by context?
Seriously doubting this solution.
Solution works...
Now, I am an engineer/programmer/computer genius. I have been learning how to fix this shit for over 30 years.
How the fuck is Joe Bloe ever going to fix an issue like this? I feel sorry for the technically un-inclined. I honestly don't know how neither Aomei nor Microsoft cannot solve restoring disk images by setting a drive letter. How did this not get backed up by Aomei? How did this not get detected as one of the most common problems with a disk restore? Why has this been a problem with Aomei restore for over 3 years? I love Aomei. It works most of the time. But this is terrible. The tech world is definitely a shit show at this point in time.
I also read that VMD actually makes the communication to the drive a bunch faster. Not sure if the samsung drivers do the same. So there may be a tradeoff. Oh well. I can see the temperature of my drives now! Woot!2 -
Well, the solution works on the co-workers machine. Checked out the same branch on mine and it doesn't work. Tried restarting the computer, and now the application doesn't start at all. On top of that hassle I have to deal with creating tickets for something that in the end took three minutes to fix, just to verify a change in our test environment. That email-communication took all week.
How do you guys keep your calm? Because I'm almost bursting from this, it's so frustrating.3 -
This weekend I've installed a virtual box with Linux over windows on my mother in law. Now, she is using it and I hope to not have to fix again her computer against malware!! PS: I think she is enjoying Linux. I gave her some homeworks. Only update and upgrade 😂1
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Why the fuck is the default installation of Python on Ubuntu 18.04 incomplete and missing *default* modules? And WHYYY are there no fucking instructions anywhere on how to fix this??
I was hoping to be able to sit with my laptop and do stuff instead of in the dark corner by my desktop computer. It seems like I can never get things to work on my laptop, and I feel like I've either got the crappiest installation of the OS or that I'm just so stupid that no one else ever had my issues. Or, if I do find people who had the same issues, not a single one of the solutions that worked for literally everyone else ever works for me. 😐8 -
When you finally start a project just for fun, and then you give your computer to IT to fix it. 1 whole week...
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Our computer science GCSE exams are so flawed in so many ways. They're awfully vague or just completely wrong. In the last exam I did, I got a question that was basically:
"There is a server in a network. Name 3 of its functions"
If you did not provide an answer within the 5 "correct answers", it was considered incorrect as it was beyond the curriculum hence irrelevant.
That's like penalising people for not correctly guessing the contents of an opaque box...
I've genuinely lost more marks to the flaws in the marking scheme than genuine error.
Valve, pls fix2 -
How coding has impacted my life?
Lol, mann I don't think normal anymore. Everything is logical and conditional statements to me now. If this, do that! Else, do this. I've been making people think 2x about their dumb questions to fix their broken phones, computer screens and yes, the popular one.."can you hack facebook?". I can't even do a simple renaming or count without start with a 0. Normal people start like 1, 2, 3, 4.... and I'm like 0, 1, 2, 3. Bruh, I'd rather code than hang out which I still do but less now..smh -
>Weird Windows 10 glitch occurs causing text in dialogue boxes and other various things to not appear until you restart your computer.
>Is working on a program in C#
>Presses button in source control.
>Yes or no dialogue appears.
>Presses yes.
>All flies in working folder disappear.
>Restarts computer to fix visual glitch.
>All files in working folder don’t actually exist anymore.
>3 months of work nowhere to be found.
>Downloads decompiler.
>Decompiles previous versions executable file.
>Continues to work on project with decompiled code for the next 6 months.
>Gets sick of everything and painfully rewrites the entire program in NodeJS.
Moral of the story: Never gamble with Windows.4 -
So this morning, I was having problems with Explorer.exe. So I did a sfc /scannow to fix it.
After booting, my PC would not boot. I thought I did something to break it. I kept turning it off and on. I was scared that I broke my computer again.
I plugged out my keyboard. It booted.
Then I realized--it was my stupid broken keyboard being weird again.
WHy -
5 GB magically lost!
Had to partition a drive and i used easeus partition manager..reduced 1 partition from 100 to 95
Said computer had to be rebooted so i said ok...went to some boot screen of easeUs and had to hard reboot computer...ended up with this
Had to copy 95 gb worth of files and format drive with windows partition manager to fix it
Wasted 2 hrs
fml6 -
Shitty legacy codebase made by shovelling pile of different shit by some 'cool dude' who left the company 3 years ago. Fixing bugs on this pile of shit all the time, but also I have to document everything as documentation wasn't there at all and fix the whole damn project in the meantime. No linters, no types, ancient libraries that have shitton of issues, hacky behaviours wherever you look, no tests whatsoever.
Except when we want to refactor/rewrite we don't get time for fixing the whole shit as it is worthless - there's no value for customers in that.
the other one was shitty HR talk which consisted of bashing on my technical competencies by computer illiterate troglodyte after which I left the company. They asked me could I stay for 2 more months.
That was that one single NO that felt so great that I will remember it for the rest of my life. -
Why am I so curious?
You are always talking about Arch linux. Well, I got a second hand (very old) laptop to use as a backup, as I am going to working from home and I just have a desktop pc. So I decided to install Arch on it just to know how does it works. After this first experience, I would change it to a lubuntu (I am talking about a Celeron with 2GB RAM).
Well... I managed to install Arch. It is up and running. Lot's of problems to fix yet, sound, native wifi (I am using a wifi adapter that just works on any linux distro) etc but I am fucking in love with Arch! And I can't use it to work, as it is very unstable and I really need everything always up and running to work. I cannot have any glitch with the computer or I can lose a deadline.4 -
SMH at parents who fall for online scams, and won't listen to me, their computer science educated son, that it is indeed a scam and do not pay them $400 to fix a pop-up.
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The most stressful day of month.
I need to put hours into hour counting programs so computer can analyze those hours using deep learning algorithms and pay me a wage I don't deserve.
Each program work differently.
One of it works inside the local company network.
Other one I need to connect outside from company network.
In all of them I can't make mistake or I need to write to someone to fix my mistakes.
One of this programs use java applet, other is simple php website.
One of them blocks row in calendar when I click so when I login again and click I can't edit this row because it's locked by me who is editing this row.
One of them is requesting me to provide my work in minutes.
I need to follow strict procedures to report any holidays or national holidays that I need first figure out when they happen.
Wish me luck.1 -
My Friend(On getting an error in Javascript for not placing a semi-colon";") : If the computer knows that adding the semicolon would fix the code why would it not add it by itself instead of throwing an error.
Me: Because coaches don't play ;) -
Things I say to my clients when I know that a reboot is required to fix their issue but I don't have enough evidence to prove it to them :
"... On any computing platform, we noted that the only solution to infinite loops (and similar behaviors) under cooperative preemption is to reboot the machine. While you may scoff at this hack, researchers have shown that reboot (or in general, starting over some piece of software) can be a hugely useful tool in building robust systems.
Specifically, reboot is useful because it moves software back to a known and likely more tested state. Reboots also reclaim stale or leaked resources (e.g., memory) which may otherwise be hard to handle. Finally, reboots are easy to automate. For all of these reasons, it is not uncommon in large-scale cluster Internet services for system management software to periodically reboot sets of machines in order to reset them and thus obtain the advantages listed above.
Thus, when you indeed perform a reboot, you are not just enacting some ugly hack. Rather, you are using a time-tested approach to improving the behavior of a computer system."
😎1 -
So a bit ago I posted a rant saying that I would be getting ElementaryOS onto my computer and trying it out, buckle up kiddos because this goes to shit in just a moment.
I did everything right, used Rufus correctly and didn't destroy my computer nor my installer, good! I set it up, get everything going and everything is running smoothly. One problem... I couldn't download **any** programs that weren't from the Ubuntu Store, which really annoyed me because I like to use Brackets, and I couldn't find it in the UStore...
So I messed up **really** bad here... I didn't *format* my Elementary Installer, but tried to delete the files like a pleb and stick an Ubuntu ISO in it's place, I didn't even think on going through Rufus again, I just slapped that shit in there without a thought.
I restart my computer, I read a forum stating that I would get an option that allows Ubuntu (or another Linux distro) to take over the partition of a previous distro. Neat! Another bloody problem is that I decided to use "Win + R" and manually delete the Elementary partition **myself**... What is even wrong with me...
So I restarted it, and before my father left to go shopping, he said I should go into the BIOS to change the boot order (Now this is where I **really fucked up**. Thought what I said before was bad?).
Cool, so I boot my PC and go into the BIOS, now I couldn't figure out on my computer where the boot order was, when it was right in my face the whole damn time... I managed to almost destroy my entire BIOS with the fucking file in my USB stick, because I was being an idiot...
I restart, GRUB opens up with a black screen and white text in the top left corner, know what the most important line is in that small block of words? "unknown filesystem"... Of fucking course I fucked it that bad, GRUB didn't even give me the option of just using Windows 10 instead, just quietly gave me the middle finger since I basically nearly fucked everything.
What's funny is that I had someone (who lives with us, let's call him Jeff) look at my computer because I was done being a dumbass.
He told me that I still had my BIOS (which was a bloody relief, because I thought I basically destroyed my computer doing what I did) and that all I need to do is fix the installer I tried to use.
I gave him the USB and just started to play on my phone.
Then I remembered something maybe an hour or so ago... I had an older installer that I used on my shitty laptop awhile back, if I can find it again I could just use that instead of waiting on Jeff. I dug around my room and found the USB that had a working Ubuntu ISO on, correctly placed inside this time.
I basically walked up to my computer, plugged it in and started it up, and it worked. I got Ubuntu and Windows 10 back, and I was basically laughing like I just saved a man's life.
Moral of this story: Don't be like me and do something stupid, especially if you don't know what the fuck you're attempting at... -
Ok, so I saw someone post in Dev rant that the incognito browsing history was stored in the system32 folder so I thought that's quite amusing, I'll tell my cousin to see if he falls for it. Next thing I know he actually deleted it! He then asked me how to fix that. Me being the twat I am told him that the fix was quite simple. All you need to polarise the hard drive to get those sectors to start working again ( literally talking out my a** here to make it sound a little more legit). To do this take the hard drive out and rub a magnet up towards the pins where the cable was connected. He now has a broken hard drive and I have to convince him that it was because he rubbed it the wrong way as I really CBA to have to buy him a new one and get his little laptop up and running again. I really didn't expect him to actually do it or listen to me. To top it all off he wants to study computer science at uni (he's just started collage).2
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My family bought a Windows XP pc when i was around 12. The first thing i did was play a game called F22 Raptor. While playing I pressed some keys due to which the screen rotated 180 degrees. No one knew how to fix it. I wasn't allowed to use the computer after that.1
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Customer Service(cs): clients complaining our site crashes on their computer
Support: they dont have enough resources, its their computer
CS: customers still complaining, how do we fix this?
Support: tell them to get a better computer
CS: lets borrow their information and see whats going on
Support: reluctantly moves customer data over
CS: I dont see anything wrong here. It works just fine
Support: ... ... ... -
Right after entering the Office Depot:
Employee: Do you have a computer?
Me: (awkwardly) yes.
Employee: When was the last time you diagnosed your computer?
Me : (wtf) never
Employee: Bring your computer to us, we will do free diagnosis and help you fix issues and bla bla bla ....
I left.2 -
Do you guys ever feel blessed, when u have prepared a script with some mistake and execute it but that script fails due to something completely different, which makes u finally find the mistake and fix it, which saves you from chaos!
The Computer Gods are looking out for me and I am grateful!6 -
I asked my boss if we could move the website to our version control. Reason is because he would make changes and break something and didn't know what he did and so he spends the entire day trying to fix the issue and of he can't figure it out he then asks our only web developer to resolve the issue.
He didn't understand how we could keep it in sync with what is published when he makes changes.
Had to explain to him that's it's only to track changes. He still didn't understand.
How is this person my boss... Only one location for our website, doesn't track changes, and runs the backup on the same computer that hosts the website. Yes... He just modifies the hosting files... -
Back when I was a freshman in high school a friend of mine put an emulator on the shared drive, so we could play NES games while in the computer lab. Didn't know better/didn't care. One day I get pulled out of class and walked into the computer guys office. In there is also the principal of the school and the Chief of police.
The computer guy tells me there was an issue last week that caused the school server to crash and it caused damage. I asked what happened and the he said one of the emulators we were playing had a script that crashed the server and caused damage. I asked how much damage and they informed me it was over 3 thousand dollars. At this point I'm very skeptical that the damage was worth about the cost of a new workstation (the old one sitting on his desk, buried in boxes), and afterwards none of the faculty knew of any kind of an outage. I asked for him to show me what broke and what had to be done to fix/replace the damaged equipment but all I got was a simple, "I'm sorry. I can't show you that at this time."
They threatened legal action for a felony of damaging a school property. Myself and the other tech savvy kids talked about it over the next couple of days wondering what would happen. They threatened expulsion for myself and a couple of other kids, but ultimately just got a talking to about keeping personal information safe.
What I got out of it was if they think I'm good with computers I must be doing something right. Now I'm in IT. This is where it went wrong. -
I am quite worried about the approach users have towards technology...
I am starting now to work to my bachelor thesis research in algorithm, so I'm still very young.
But when I think about which mental process guides people when they use or try to fix their pcs is very worrying...
I mean I am no mechanical engineer but I don't pretend to know perfectly how an engine works. But I try anyway to understand it the best as I can...
Instead I see users that don't try to know at all our products... People (and not only elderly) which think that Facebook and Internet is the same thing, people that think that you can find anything one the net, while I found myself stuck many times in the middle of a research for something...
I had a course in human computer interaction... And I see the point of simplifying the user experience... But I fear that it will be soon to much :s3 -
i am having a feeling that getting into software branch of it industry might be a wrong decision. in my college years, i got to explore different domains in tech :
1. software development : frontend tech , backed tech, mobile tech : somethings i and a million other people know
2. os and internal softwares : os, compilers, processor coding , chip manufacturing etc : don't know what this industry is known but we devs rarely go that deep in the hole
3. the network industry : computer networks , topologies, packets, data transfers etc. again not sure what this industry is but 4g/5g brands/ cisco seems to making a lot of money with this
4. cloud computing, devops, data etc : i guess some backend devs explore this domain too.
5. ai/ml data sciences/web3 : the new fad
6. biotech :?? don't know anything about this at all
7. graphics/management/qa : the other associated sisters of software dev. they are seeing a similar recession
8... ans so on.
i chose the 1st one in my undergrad as my career and now regretting this i am thinking of doing masters to fix my mistake and take a job in some other industry that is still blooming and has a future for sustaining a recession for atleast 30 years.
so any suggestions/experiences?8 -
!rant
I had that installation of windows 3 to 4 years now.
I'm using a third party software for backup so everyday at 23:00 the backup service starts. The image is stored on a second HDD.
First i want to point out that i set up the windows maintenance around that time too. So any updates should occur then and i remember finding my PC at login screen couple of times meaning a restart had taken place.
Everything was fine all this time.
Couple of days ago i returned home late around 2 am to find a blue screen saying that the computer did not boot property the last time. Had two options, just restart or try to fix.
Of course i will fix it, come on.
Everything failed. Everything. Even safe mode won't boot.
Who cares i have the back up system image. Boot from the bootable usb stick and restore. Well nothing is happening. It's just freezing at 5%. Cancel. Try again. Cancel. Verify the image. Success! Try again! Nothing.
Damn. Im really tired, off to bed.
Woke up tried fixing and restore but to no avail.
Fuck it i will just install Windows fresh. I was set up after an hour or so installed the necessary drivers and such. Let's see that image of any file i want to get back.
Image is corrupted. What the fuck? How? Damn it. Mount and recovery also failed.
That's it. I did not lose any important files. I save everything on a different drive and also the backup.
But I'm wondering what had gone wrong.
My guess windows rebooted when the backup was running. If that's the case shouldn't be a check if such service is running?2 -
SSIS is a piece of shit. As well as Visual Studio.
SSIS job running on sql server bombs on vs_needsnewmetadata. I go to fix the issue by refreshing the db source and target tasks to re-read metadata from the db servers. While "refreshing" the metadata, IT policy requires reboot of computer, and triggers autoupdate of visual studio, and hoses my IDE. spend an hour re-installing VS and SSDT, bc the newest version of VS can't deploy to sql server thru the IDE. I'd rather code in Eclipse/Intellij ARGHHHHHHHH -
Working code?
Or fake compiler?
Fix a problem?
Or buy a new computer?
Bring a flash drive?
Or bring a hard drive?
Use water cooling?
Or use an ice cube on top a processor and memory?
Drink some coffee?
Or eat a healthy breakfast?
Do you make hardware?
Or software?
These are the problems programmers face from old people as employers or relatives trying to find something to relate to. -
Haha fuckers fucking hell! Last post was about Factorio not starting. Guess what. My hard drive failed. Fuck. Razer wanted to wipe the computer to fix the rattling noise inside. I told them fuck off you should be able to fix it anyways. Guess they might as well wipe it all clean now...1
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You are an eletronics engineer --> you can fix my TV set then...
You are a computer engineer -> you can fix my my Windows laptop...
Life is tough for tech oriented people.... -
I don't have any experience in teaching, but I'd venture to say that teaching anything is hard. For most subjects, teaching has been refined over thousands of years to be easier and meaningful. Not CS. As has been mentioned by many people CS is a very new subject when compared to the likes of maths, for example, and education systems haven't been able to cope with it adequately (nor should they be expected to).
That the CS industry is rapidly evolving certainly doesn't help matters, but in reality that shouldn't really be that big of a problem (at least in earlier years of education). The basics of computer systems and programming don't really change that much (please correct me if I'm wrong) and logic stays the same. Even if you learn stuff that's a bit out of date it can still be useful and good lessons should be able to be applied to new technologies and ideas.
Broken computers is a big inconvenience, but a lot of very useful things can be done without a computer, and I should think the situation is a lot better than it was 5 years ago. What I think would be good, instead of trying to use broken computers would be to get students to set up and use a raspberry pi each; you learn about something other than windows, learn how to install an OS and you don't need that much computing power for teaching people computer science.
I think the main problem is a lack of inspiring teachers. Only a very few teachers will be unable to get you through the exams if you put in the effort, but quite a lot of the time students don't put in the effort because they can blame it on the teacher.
My solution would be to try and get as many students into computer science as possible and the rest will follow: more people will become teachers, more will be invested in the subject, more attention will be payed to the curriculum.
That's not to say I don't agree that many of the problems that have been mentioned need to be fixed for CS education to work properly, just that there is no way that I can see to fix them currently without either creating more problems or some very rich person giving a load of money.
This has gone on a lot longer than I expected so I'll stop now.14 -
People thinking their computer problem justifies them being rude.
I've literally been in the middle of a conversation and someone walks up and hands me their computer and says "can you fix this?". Just because you work 20 feet away from me does not mean I'm your personal IT help.4 -
One of my Computer Science modules this year revolved around completing a team project, and one person in the team basically fucked it up for all of us in the last minute.
We had to create a simple task management app for a fictional company, the university did not care about how the program looked and all that mattered was if the app is functional or not. The app relied heavily on a database, so all we basically had to do was get, modify, and add data from a database. Now this person did his part of the programming, but with an outdated database model and did not even test his code as he said MySQL wasn't working on his home computer.
2 days before the final deadline is when we decided to merge everything together in the git repo (as that's when the rest of us finished our tasks), and that's when we found out none of his code worked. We then spent the next 48 hours with little sleep to try our best to fix everything, but unfortunately due to his tasks carrying a majority of the complexity of the program we couldn't fix it all in time and we ended up losing roughly 50% of the marks.
This all probably could have been avoided if one person in the team did look at his git branch properly, but this person was the programming lead of the project and didn't ask for any help at any point until the last moment when we merged everything together. Oh well though, at least I've learnt better for the next team project that I do2 -
From a little bit heated discussion I want to extract this: One big pain in the ass is the human to computer interface. Maybe it's the natural vs. formal language divide, but there's a mismatch deeper than between object and relational models that no ORM can failingly fix.
The whole point of the discussion was on such a point where some wanted an interface more human friendly and I stubbornly insisted on the way it is simple for the computer system. Like not too much human messiness should invade machine. One argument sounded as if human words were like unicode code points which meaning doesn't depend on its representation.
That's raising red flags to me: Nonono, natural language is too messy, keep it out. This poor machine could have been so clean and well designed and we already stacked up so much entropy we still dare to call OS,..
Dunno, what's your stance? Still hoping that your shell one day will be able to process our poor standard English? Or do you think, like me, all those failed attempts show there's a gap you should not even touch?5 -
A thing that we all hate. We are programmers and we don't fix computer. Disrupted my programming flow because email doesn't comes in. Turns out the PC itself is not connected to the Internet. FML, now I have to start over.
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An old friend of mine who I haven't seen in ages just texted me. He says his father, who recused my suggestion to clean his HDD for him instead of actually hiring someone to do that, asked me to "fix" his computer.
Me: Well, what's wrong with it?
Him: Nothing, it's just that his PC is really slow. Remember he uses a Vaio?
My best hope is to get the poor dude an running Xubuntu on his machine and hope he adapts to it. -
Compare and harmonize the web configs
Oh no someone set execution timeouts to 14 days
Fuck fuck fuckity duck
Hey compare all the web configs of all environments and harmonize them all wtf cmon bruh do your job as a developer
Take them and back them up into svn. What do you mean svn isn't a back up system of course it is well its the only thing we have fuck
What do you mean we have shit logging where people will catch an exception and only print the word exception in the log you can figure it out can't you we have live produxtion issues that hace to be solved now what the fuck
How dare you make a. Mistake copying our shitload of a bloated codebase and configuring our 100s of different options all by fukcing hand what the fuck dude do yoh write anyrhing down?
Please catalogue all the exception mails we are getting but we have no db or error reporting system so they all just plop into tue inbox and thats all ypur fuckjng data figure it out kid
This is a rewarding, fulfilling job whwrw you can be both dev ops and a developer and manage all of our fucking environments of which there are about 15 of all your own with no sort of tool or software to aid you because haha what the fuck we wouldn't make your life easy
Whata that you want to spend time to write stuff or change stuff that will nake it easier fot you fuxk that bruh get back to your biklable tasks like holy shit you thjnk this is a charity ofr aomw shit
Live production issues
Live production issues
Produxtion issues. A ghost in the machine. Find it fix if find it fix it find it fix it cmon why can't you fix it I expect you to spend your day hopelessly pretending to try to solve something you fucker
One of the only peopel able to help you sometimes though hes a bit of an old laxky, yeah hea fucking leaving see ya seeya kid and now we're not hirinf anyone to fuckjng help you no no no managing and monitoring the environments its your jov alll fof them every sngle on do you knkw all the xonfiguraiton values for them yet??
Instead we are hiring a new sales person to fucking make us some more money and we don't need naother seceloper to help you infqct lets have you use this mid end retail computer from 2014 to develop on yeah yeah oh but all our shitty code and visual studip will destry your memory but too bad!! Hahahahahdhsj
Go lice is all you, why sare you so slow
How long will it take
How long will it take
How long will it take
How long witll it tqk2
How long will it take holy shit
Give time estimate for sonethign that I don't fucking know how about it will tqke till fuxk you oxloxk4 -
I'm feeling guilty.
I've a lot of fun hearing the flautolence wich comes out from the mouth of my brain farters collegues in my university. I usually fake being a mediocre student who never worked nor programmed anything else except the stupid exercises related to the exams. Yesterday a collegue come out saying: WOAH, YOU'RE USING LINUX!
Good, nice deduction my dear Sherlock.
The best had to come.
The genius decided to mocks me up telling: YOU KNOW IF YOU TYPE sudo rm -rf / IN THE CMD YOU MAKE YOUR COMPUTER FASTER?
Before I processed that he's not serious i answered "no, rm just remov..." and I saw the beaten look in his eyes because the joke misersbly failed. So i proceeded: "hahaha, fun. Anyway i could rm -undo to fix the mess".
As soon i finished the sentence he ran on him laptop and boots up the VM to try... -
So there is a library in a code I got that is not found on my computer (while all libraries are normally installed, 'kay). So the code does not compile.
but I can launch it.
this is actually mindfucking me, especially since I can't redo it (and did nothing to fix it or to make it worse) -
Everytime there is something computer related to fix at home, my parents say: Thats why we send you to IT school.
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Friend hands me a computer with a fried motherboard and asks if I can fix it in my free time. Mind you, this computer is no longer used.. 😑2
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I just had a discussion with a customer a week ago. He tould me that the PDF Files we are having in our application are not showing Up.
Connected to his computer to look at the problem just to find out That Google Chrome is blocking the popup. I tell him the problem and once He allows it to open it wont happen again.
Customer: I dont want That it also happens to my customers and they dont know that either. Just fix it and call me back" I try to explain him That we cant just change thr behaviour of the Browser but He already hung Up.
Well i guess we are going to buy Google the next week to change his Problem xD2 -
Today my coisinhas asked me to remove a ad virus from her computer and the bad thing este is that is at programming at fu***** university and it is even worst when she sad that none of her friends could fix the fu***** problem!!! I just did it in 5 min by searchin in the web!!!!4
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I seriously lose my temper each and every time one says 'Oh, you are studing computer science? Come fix my Laptop, PC, and my phone..' 😢6
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The 7 stages of Computer Debugging:
Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.(task is assigned nothing to it it's nothing..)
Pain and guilt. ...(shit I knew I needed to the a sick day)
Anger and bargaining. ...
(Ok let's see if we can get this fucker fixed ....Get fixed now you asshole)
Depression. ...
(Oh man I never going to leave this office today 😭)
The upward turn. ...
(Well sec let's try stack overflow 💡)
Reconstruction and working through. ...
(Yay I found an actual fix after browsing 23 answers)
Acceptance and hope. (Fixed is in code repository... It's 21 and also hope to get some Xbox time)
P.S
It's a striking resemblance the grief stages 😜 -
I was using signal Android app for a while. But few months ago, when I reinstalled the app and was trying to backup. It said, "Backup files are malfunction." I don't know what does that mean actually. So I installed few GitHub repo into my computer and after spending an hour I finally found one repo which actually worked. I got my backup as HTML files and media as .backup files. But I still cannot install the app on my android phone. I don't know what to do to fix that. HELP
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Branch Staff Member: EFTPOS isn't working
Me: Are you logged in as the right user?
Staff: No
*staff switches user*
Staff: Still not working
*remote in and see software had crashed*
*check computer uptime* ... 38 days
Me: Give it a restart
Rant: why do people expect their issues to be resolved magically by IT when rebooting would (usually) fix it? -
I'm a computer science student. My friend who's working in the industry rn told me that the android development field is shaking (bad kind of shaking). I really want to become an android developer. Is this true? Damn it.
P.S Android Studio, fix your damn ass, you're eating too much of my ram jeez5 -
Ever tried explaining software development to your grandma? It's like narrating a sci-fi movie to someone who only watches period dramas. "Can you fix my computer?" they ask, as if coding automatically qualifies me for IT support. And those midnight meetings? It's like they think engineers are nocturnal creatures powered by coffee and keyboard clicks.3
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Okay, I will just send a fix version this week... Umm 2 crashes and a small UX improvement, should take 10 minutes...
Android Studio says something needs updating, well okay I have time...
*Codes the fixes*
*Tests the fixes*
WTF the backup functionality is broken.
*Debugs*
Silly Google drive lib, why don't you like when the user selects an account?
*Fires up another computer, doesn't let it update, compiles and it works!*
Fuck you google -
teacher: You know CP?
student: yes
teacher: fix the bugs
student: (after checking all code) I know computer programming, not competitive -
So me and my team went to this hackathon, and we were in the last 4 hours of the event.
Me being the dumb type, I forgot that my laptop's keyboard was broken (when numlock is pressed the whole keyboard spams everything, weird).
I was typing up my last lines for the algorithm and instead of enter I end up hitting guess what, the numlock key.
I should've told you that when I hit the numlock key the keys go crazy, I cant stop it. The numlock wont shut off after i tapped on it again. The only way to fix this is by restarting the computer.
I try to backspace the crazy spam that happened (this was before restarting) the keys typed so fast never got the chance to select the stuff.
I end up restarting my laptop and turned out I selected most of my algorithm, instead of the spam, and now thats been replaced by the spam.
I couldn't ctrl z cuz I restarted and Android Studio auto saved. Had to freakin write everything from scratch and my team ended up not doing 2-3 features that were originally planned.
Rip. Gotta get the keyboard fixed ASAP.1 -
When you're sitting there coding on your computer, and you suddenly realized that while you were trying to fix the Integer.max number of bugs in your program. You simultaneously developed a second programthat is much better.