Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Client: This works correctly, but I don’t like the code.

Me: What exactly do you not like?

Client: There are barely any lines of code. You need to add more to make it better.

I...I don’t know what to say.

"Hey, you know Binary Search Trees?" "Say no more."

Guy: "We just can't finish this in 1 month!"

Boss: "Yeah you can, I'll hire more people."

Guy: "... You know, a woman can deliver a baby in 9 months but 9 women can't deliver a baby in 1 month."

Hey everyone!

devRant will be going down on Friday, July 7th around 10:30pm EDT so we can do some database maintenance and restructuring of our cluster. It hopefully won't be down for more than about 30 minutes or so, and during that time you should see our "down for maintenance" message.

If you usually use devRant while you're on the toilet (we know many do!), we apologize and suggest you try to schedule around this!

Please let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the inconvenience.

Girl: we need to talk!

Me: Ok...

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Turns out Spotify desktop shows a lightsaber as the seek bar when you play this

FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read

my_girlfriend: who do you like more in your life?
me: linux
my_girlfriend: What????
me: you asked who i LIKE not Who i LOVE?
my_girlfriend: ok, who do you LOVE?
me: python

i dont know why she left me, i think she was php fan

The more you know, the less you need.

me: you know windows xp?
barber: say no more.

Programming: The more you know, the less you know

So, me and my girlfriend were on a discord call and she said to me: "You know how you can get lost in someone's eyes? Well, I get lost in your code".

I've never been more touched and conflicted in my life. 🥰🤨

Did know you could use more than 100% of your ram

Did you know that the S in IoT stands for security?

The more you know ;)

I'm creating a website and I'm thinking: Wow, I use html, css, javacript and python, I'm awesome! Then I see what other people know: shit, I'm not awesome...
Programmer: the more you know, the more modest you become...

Working with a new dev several years ago -

Him: "Man, I don't get why everybody thinks coding is hard. It's easy!"

Me: "It gets tougher, the more you read the more you realize you know less than you think."

Him: "I'm done reading! I did all of my reading in college."

Me: thinking "have a nice career"

Now, I know what you meant by this story but... Um... Title needed a little more work I think

I've been writing PHP for more then 10 years. So, one fine day while having coffee with new tech manager...

Manager: huh, you've been programmer for very long time. Can you explain how echo works?

Me: err.. Echo. Spit out string. (show some example code on my phone)

Manager: I mean, I want to know, which part in C++ code in PHP engine. (trying to impress with jargons)

Me: I don't know. But why?

Manager: As programmer, you need to know, so you can echo more efficient.

Me: ... Errr... Ok... (I've been echo-ing for more then decade. Is there a way to make echo more efficient?)

Do you know what's more fun than debugging multithreaded code?

Debugging networked, multithreaded code...

Agency: "Why don't you do more free work for us? When you do that we can give you better jobs for money?"

Me: "so if I do free work for you, I get to do paid work as a reward? ..you know that I am a freelancer, not your employee, don't you?"

*agencysulking*

I am starting to get more pissed off than I should be by one particular type of rant on here.

Quote:
My boss/senior/coworker did not know how to do XXX even though he is supposed to have more experience than me. I had to fix his goddamn problem blah blah blah.

If you'd have that attitude on my team I'd be spending a lot of time trying to get you off of it. A team MUST help each other. If you think you're better than others you either teach them or get the fuck out. If you don't understand or know something that's fine and it perfectly normal to have others explain it to you.

Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"

Interviewer: Do you have created any android application before?

Dev: I just built an application to increase, farming production to help farmers earn some more money. It's less profitable but makes farmers better.

Interviewer: That's so stupid. Do you know Jeff Bezos?

Dev: yes

Interviewer: we need someone like that level of visionary to make money for our company. Sorry, we don't think you can make apps that makes people do stupid things for fame.

Dev: Do you know Nicola Tesla

Interviewer : yes

Dev: Well he should have pulled the plug long ago.

Was recently phone interviewed by a recruiter that asked "So do you know data structures and algorithms?" I replied "That's like asking someone if they know Mathematics - can you be a bit more specific?"

Life is about spamming. Want to get into a relationship? Spam every girl you see and like in the streets and ask nicely.
Want more clients? Spam.
Want a job?
Tell everyone you know, that you search for a job.
Send a resume to every company you desire. Spam.

No, intern. You do not know more than I do. Stop talking.

Recently i had to interview a guy with 10 years of frontend experience for a react developer role

Me : Do you know what ecmascript is ?
Him : Yes
Me : Which version would you prefer to use and why ?
Him : I dont use it. I am more comfortable with JavaScript.
Me : (totally confused) 😶
Him : (trying to be oversmart) I know you young guys prefer to use these fancy frameworks because you dont know how powerful raw javascript is.
Me : (Trying hard to not "react") Ok.

How would you "react" to this ?

"There is nothing more permanent than a temporary hack" - so true quote from the You Don't Know JavaScript book series

1. You don't code to add a feature or whatever. You do it to solve Users' problems. It's a User-centric system.
2. You read more code than you write. So help yourself and write code intended to be read.
3. If people don't know you did something, you did nothing!
4. Never answer a call at 3 am if you're not paid to be on night call-duty. You'll become the guy who answers at 3 am.
5. Remember the big difference between you and me is that I failed to do stuff more times than you have tried to do.
6. When you start shaving the yak, stop!

Interviewer: I don't understand. With a resume and portfolio like yours you shouldn't be applying to companies like us. You should be setting your sights on companies like Google/Meta. You'd be bored here after everything you've done so far. I know we're offering more money than your current position but you're worth more believe me. I'm going to keep looking, and so should you. But you need to aim higher.

Dev: ...

Well fuck me I guess?

*reads JSON license*
"The Software shall be used for Good, not Evil."

Well that's actually a nice license.. if only nuclear research etc could be licensed like that.

Wait actually.. WanBLowS is using XML for its "diagnostic data", right? I always found it so weird that they don't use JSON for that.. but I guess that this is why 🙃

Did you know that you could only add 23 smileys to a message in Slack? 🤔 Well now you know! 😁

Debugging somones hacked site now, you know some developer messed up when the heckers injected code is more readable and structured than the actual sites...

Boss: Hey squares, I need one of you to select a new volume control, if you spot anything let me know.
Me: Say no more

Whats so nice about devrant is that you see more or less the same people from time to time everywhere.
In comments, notifications, rants, all that.

It's like a party full of nerds like you where it's actually fun to get to know people.:D

I know it's not too impressive, but got this working using my Windows console double-buffering system and literal bitmaps for the large numbers.

I have posted about both previously if you want more details :3

Holy fucking shit! Coding by yourselves seem so much fucking more efficient than in a team. Fuck you team! I know you might say this makes me a bad programmer. But you know what fuck you too!

!rant
I just started to use Fira Code as my main font because another awesome user recommended it and I must say, this shit is beautiful. This is what I love about this community. I learn more and get to know more cool shit because of what users say in here than the 5 years I spent at uni. You ninjas rock!

My friend and boss，told me he would teach me code 2 years in a half ago.

I didnt know what css or html was and i used to call java javascript.

I can know create my own module with webpack， have my automated doc， use react， redux， he taught me linux， git，unit testing， databases，docker， and so on...

Im not an expert in any of it butbi know what they are for and can play with them more or less comfortably.

The best advice he ever gave me was:

“coding is not about coding. We are like the greath painters of history. They were great at painting but even more at creating. If you have no creativity， you can paint as well as you want， its worthless.”

The awkwardly embarrassing moment when you realise your junior, a fresher out of college, knows more than you... Shittt... Why kids are so fucking smart these days!!! I'm looking for a place where I can go and just hide from the world. If you know one, please help.

So I got terminal Linux in school right now. People said that it's so hard, but guess what? Surprisingly it's even easier for me than Windows CMD!

This happened a few years ago:

Cousin: So one of my friends is going to teach me how to hack.
Me: Oh so you know something about programming?
Cousin: No, I'm going to learn how to hack first, because that's way more awesome.

You know you're a true developer when npmjs and maven burn more bandwidth than NETFLIX

"Big data" and "machine learning" are such big buzz words. Employers be like "we want this! Can you use this?" but they give you shitty, ancient PC's and messy MESSY data. Oh? You want to know why it's taken me five weeks to clean data and run ML algorithms? Have you seen how bad your data is? Are you aware of the lack of standardisation? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE MISSPELLED "information"?!!! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE MORE THAN 15 WAYS OF MISSPELLING IT!!! I HAD TO MAKE MY OWN GODDAMN DICTIONARY!!! YOU EVER FELT THE PAIN OF TRAINING A CLASSIFIER FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT THEN YOUR GODDAMN DEVICE CRASHES LOSING ALL YOUR TRAINED MODELS?!!
*cries*

You know the feeling when you deliver exactly what the requirement was and there were no more iterations and changes to those requirements after that??

No..?? Me neither..

It's raining in Chennai, India.
Flooding in quite a few areas.
The areas hit bad are where the IT companies have set up shop. More rain is expected .
If you know guys from here please check and see if they're OK. It was almost impossible to get back home from work for many people last night.

Uber was charging 600% more for a ride.

Hope you guys from Chennai are safe.

More You know

I tell a colleague, "Hey, could you make your commits more meaningful? A commit message of '.' helps nobody.".

He then uses 'no message' for his commits.

Also, commits every 30 seconds. I know commit often... But is that really necessary?

Why.

Fibonacci for developers.

One Developer writes bad code and leaves. Company hires two more to fix the code and cycle continues. Now you know why software developers are in demand.

I know a lot of you already know/do this, but to those of you who don't - I know it has saved me more than once:

If you use SSMS (SQL Server Management Studio) - when connecting to a server, before you hit the "connect" button, under options, choose a color to represent which server you are connecting to. I personally use stoplight colors: red = prod, yellow = QA, green = dev....this way, it helps you realize what server you are connected to, minimizing our dreaded "oh shit" moments....lol

Hopefully this helps someone ☺

"The more you learn, the less you know"

Some 40 years old guy on the bus talking with his younger colleague: "If you learn Java, you know Javascript. Javascript is just more compact Java."

Tell people you love them every day because you don't know when it will be the last time.
But more importantly, don't forget to "git push" every day, because you never know when your laptop is about to die, taking with him those last commits. RIP my friend.

TIL...

You know, pointers are cool. I like pointers. They allow you so much more control about memory than languages without support for pointers. But fucking null pointers. I could kill them. Why are they such a fucking nightmare to debug?

You know you aren't a junior dev any more when you stop asking how to do something and start asking what is the most efficient way to do it.

You know what's more irritating than working with a partner who doesn't understand how to properly build an API?

Working with one who fully understands the best practices but doesn't give a shit to implement them until something breaks.

Product owner: "I want these 6 epics delivered in 12 months"
Me: "can't to that with 2 devs, need more"
PO: "how many?"
Me: "can't say, you haven't spec'd them"
PO: "how do you know 2 devs can't deliver them?"
Me: "educated fucking estimations you fucktrumpet - at least 2 of them look like 6 month projects for 2 devs, so you need to pay for more resource!"

"If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room", I seek to be in presence of people who know more than me, from whom I can learn from

I honestly do not understand why clients, with no understand of development at all, think they know more than the developer.

I do not understand why these people think they know what can and cannot be done within a given timeline.

If it's so damn easy, why aren't you making the damn website/app yourself????

#frustratedaf
#donewiththisshit
#ineedthemoneytho

Once a day, take some time to read your colleagues' commits.

You will see how they work, you will learn how they solve problems, you will understand their flow and you will know more and more parts of the code base.

After working for 5 years after getting my bachelor's, I have moved country and started work on a Master's.

Nothing is more humbling in CompSci than realising the depth of what you /don't/ know. Imposter syndrome, anybody?

You know what, I'm out of devRant until Coronavirus is over. I can't take one more repost of the TCP UDP handshake shit.

You know you are in the wrong place when you've to use your Mouse more than your Keyboard...

You know whom I hate more than apple fanboys, "language" fanboys!
Yeah...that's a thin now.
(I'll post the whole story when I reach my room)

That moment when you get a great idea for a side project, and you know you don't have the needed skills yet, but you don't care 'cause it just means you're gonna have to learn more... just awesome 😍

The newest IPhone (Which specwise is good) is more expensive than the newest graphics cards that are coming out... h.o.l.y. s.h.i.t
and you know what? THE BEST MODEL IS 400 BUCKS MORE EXPENSIVE THAN A FUCKING 2080TI!
And you know what?
WHATS UP WITH STORAGE!
you go from 64Gb to 256 and 512 GIGABYTES OF DATA!!
Its like, Midrange storage to a Ton of Storage to HOLY SHIT WHO NEEDS THIS MUCH?!
and you know WHY they are doing this?
Because most of the people will buy the 256 or 512 model GUARANTEED! People behave like this! you dont believe me?
What if you gave a Big Popcorn box for 15 Bucks and the smallest one for 5 bucks, which one would you buy? The smaller one. (Most of the time) and why? because you only have 2 choices! If I gave you 3 choices: 5 for small, 10 for medium and 15 for large?
You wont buy the smallest one, because it doesnt make sense! THATS WHY AND NOW FUCK OFF AND YOU TOO APPLE GO SUCK COCKS OF YOUR FUCKING FANBOYS WHICH WILL PAY MORE!

Developers

that

put

every

line

of

code

on

a

new

line

Why??????? Seriously this shit is not making it more readable you know

LinkedIn feels like:
- be bombarded with recruiters messaging you
- people you don't know bragging about joining a company
- more people you don't know sharing useless advice for tons of corporate crap

Is just me or anyone feels the same?

Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...

You know you have been coding for a while when you see a sign on the street and think "hey, that could use a bit more margin 🤔"

Programmers are like bees!

You can domesticate programmers the way beekeepers tame bees. You can't exactly communicate with them, but you can get them to swarm in one place and when they're not looking, you can carry off the honey. You keep these bees from stinging by paying them money. More money than they know what to do with. But that's less than you might think. ~ Orson Scott Card

Oh, I'm sorry if I have spoken during this meeting. I didn't realise I was invited just so I would be told "we're not going into that much detail at this stage of the project". I was just trying to point out that when you mock up any UI, you should take into account the fact that information is hierarchical: more important stuff before less important stuff, you know. Maybe you don't want to swamp the user with buttons all the time. When everything is important, nothing is. But that's just detail. And then the boss says we should create two more incongruent screens and all of the sudden that's a brilliant idea! So then again, sorry. I know exactly where my place is now. You pretend you know what you're doing and I fix it for you.

So i started using atom text editor like a month ago. After finding out i can install packages and going on a spree.... I may have broke it. You know you are in for a pickle if the editor starts with more errors than windows vista.

HR: you didn’t write in your job experience that you know kubernetes and we need people who know it.

Me: I wrote k8s

HR: What’s that ?

…
Do you know docker ?
Do you know what docker is ?
Do you use cloud ?
Can you read and write ?
Are you able to open the door with your left hand ?
What if we cut your hands and tell you to open the doors, how would you do that ?
What are your salary expectations?
Do you have questions, I can’t answer but I can forward them. Ask question, ask question, questions are important.
What is minimal wage you will agree to work ?
You wrote you worked with xy, are you comfortable with yx ?
We have fast hiring process consisting of 10 interviews, 5 coding assessments, 3 talks and finally you will meet the team and they will decide if you fit.
Why do you want to work … here ?
Why you want to work ?
How dare you want to work ?
Just find work, we’re happy you’re looking for it.
What databases you know ?
Do you know nosql databases ?
We need someone that knows a,b,c,d….x,y,z cause we use 1,2,3 … 9,10.
We need someone more senior in this technology cause we have more junior people.
Are you comfortable with big data?
We need someone who spoke on conference cause that’s how we validate that people can speak.
I see you haven’t used xy for a while ( have 5 years experience with xy ) we need someone who is more expert in xy.
How many years of experience you have in yz ??? (you need to guess how many we want cause we look for a fortune teller )

Not much changed in job hunting, taking my time to prepare to leetcode questions about graphs to get a job in which they will tell me to move button 1px to the left.

Need to make up some stories about how I was bad person at work and my boss was angry and told me to be better so I become better and we lived happy ever after. How I argued with coworkers but now I’m not arguing cause I can explain. How bad I was before and how good I am now. Cause you need to be a better person if you want to work in our happy creepy company.

Because you know… the tree of DOOM… The DOMs day.

You dumb bitch. I will get to your fucking low level ticket when I’m done doing more important shit. How do you have a job if you don’t know how to use fucking excel?! GOOGLE IT you fuck!

Boasting you know programming just because you watched some programming videos doesn't help in any of the case, I learned this the hard way because I tried to show off in front a girl and turned out, she knew more and better. This was when I was 14, very bad memory

Do you know that feeling when you finally have no more errors, but then you can't tell if the software actually does the right thing?

🤢

Wisdom of the day:
'No crashes' is not equivalent to 'it works'...

Explicit!
Okay so someone asked me to explain difference between an iPad & PC & i did it something like this:

If you provide a kid with a condom and a balloon, which would he value more?
Now give the same set to a mature adult, which would he value more?

We know which one serves the greater purpose right? 😝

You know a project's gonna be a pain in the ass if one of the file's the mini map looks like this. But wait there's more, this mini map is just a quarter of the whole file. Fuck

You know you've been staring at code for too long when you see a function called getInitial(), but it looks more like a NSFW term.

Client: I don't know programming. But I think you should make the button more fancy?

Me: ... I am not Harry Potter, don't imagine programming like magic. And you ain't even a programmer...

Daily conversation with our precious client

As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts

1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying

2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you

3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.

4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth

They: You got the job! Du you acceppt?
Me: Let me think about it. Do you know what would help me deciding? Knowing if i could get 15% more.
They: We will check and let you know.

So lets see what will happen!

Non-technical manager who been managing my team for years: "hey can you take a look at this log?"

*log is all PHP*

Us: "we're iOS devs, none of us know PHP"

Manager: "well why not?"

HOW DO YOU GET PAID MORE THAN US

When I start #100daysofcoding ! In which you at least daily code for an hour. It can be your side project or learning something new. Just search on Twitter if you want to know more
I am sure many of you already know this !

Once upon a time
Performance Review, "great job", "like all your achievements so far".. signed.

Two days later, same manager, "as you can guess, you didn't pass probation. Could have done more."
"Oh more like?"
"Just, you know, more."

A useful guide of general rules for junior devs, while asking questions to senior devs.

1) If you're a junior dev, you're going to not know stuff. A lot of stuff. That's perfectly fine and expected. The more you realise you don't know, the more you move forward.

2) If you don't know something, duckduckgo it. If after at least 1 hour and a max of 2 hours of searching you still don't get it, ask someone.

3) If the senior dev just gives the answer directly, it means they think you should've already known the answer.

4) If the senior dev just gives the reasoning behind it, but not the answer, it means you should know most of it, but you can probably arrive at the answer with a bit more reasoning and it's a unique problem.

5) If the senior dev gives you the answer with an explanation, it's a very good question and you will likely get to learn something you didn't know already.

Replace senior dev with stack overflow and it still works the same.

You know what I realized something. And im gonna brag about it. I taught myself laravel, vue, JavaScript, basic Unix server admin stuff and more all without every asking a single question on a forum.

Basically out of laziness, and impatience, though.

Still, go me.

Q: What's a "muscle memory"?

A: It's when you open up devRant, skim through several posts, get bored, decide to visit some other website for more stimulation, close the tab with devRant, open a new tab and your hands type in devrant.com [ENTER] before you know it

if there's one thing I love more than coding, it's using metaphors to explain to other people why they're not "getting it". like the all famous contractor:

"yeah I know you need 5 months to build my house, but can you do it in 2. Also, I'm going to pay half. Oh, and when the house is done, could you also add a cellar?"

any more good metaphors out there?

Windows 10 loves to freeze... especially when I wrote more than 200 lines of code and I'm pointing the cursor on the Save icon!

Thanks MS, you know how to give me a heart attack.

Look, nano, I love you more than you could imagine but the fact that you make these shortcuts do what they do can fuck off...

CTRL+C = cursor position
CTRL+X = exit nano
CTRL+V = next page

I meant... *Sigh*... I don't fucking know anymore man...

You know it's going to be a bad sprint when sprint planning takes two hours and at the end you've committed to 30% more story points than your estimated capacity.

"I'm not very smart with computers"

Why do people say that? Obviously you may not know 100% of what you can do with a computer, but NO ONE does! I get that some people know slightly more than others, but it all comes down to how much time you put into learning it!

And how do you even respond to that? "I know, I'm dumb." You can't ignore it or affirm it, you just have to awkwardly acknowledge and then change the subject. Ugh...

When you spend more time restarting your IDE from crashes than developing, you know, it's time for a big life change.

Am I the only one who thinks monitors turned to portrait looks dumb and can’t possibly be more useful? The number one reason people give when I ask is that they can fit more code on the screen. I don’t know about you but I don’t have the ability to glance at an entire screen of code in portrait or landscape and understand it immediately.

git commit message that I hate:

1. "Adjustment"
2. "Improvement"
3. "Fix Bug"
4. "I commit it but there are bug in this code"
5. "Client request"

YOU KNOW BE MORE SPECIFIC ON YOUR COMMIT MESSAGE!!!

My internet went out the other day and I genuinely didn't know what to do with myself! Pacing around my apartment until it came back 2 hours later.
I think I need to get out more or at least get some friends but, you know... people.

You know something is ABSOLUTELY NOT RIGHT when you see this code.

Even more when you notice the parameter is not being used at all!

Holy crap, it is a web api deployed in production. Imagine it being called!

What is this hate towards fullstack developers ? I suppose more you know the better ? I think you can specialize later, based on your work task.

Fullstack is the way for learning addicts as me.

// MY FIRST LITTLE POEM
// --------------------------------------
// :D i'm proud :D
// --------------------------------------

(function(wine, exercise, diet, objPerson) {
var result = wine + exercise + diet;

if(result === 'eternal') {
console.log('\(*o*)/ wine + exercise + diet = "CAN I LIVE FOREVER!?!" \(*o*)/');
return '!!! ' + objPerson.firstName + ', YOU\'RE AMAZING !!!';

} else {
console.log(':p you don\'t know what you\'re missing! :p');
return objPerson.firstName + ', bro i expected more from you... :|';
}
})()

// ---------- THE END ----------

geek fun fact!

Did you know? Swiping down requires more calories than scrolling down on your mouse!

The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.

Really weird writing a book and being one of the only 2 people to know the entire story line...

Even more so when you wrote something down and knowing it's significance to the bigger picture makes you tear up a little... Fucking weird man...

did you know that facebooks servers are so minimalistics?? just a motherboard, harddrives and a psu, its amazing how they manage to design it. btw they got thousands of them or more.

I'm sure more than 50% of the Devs who claim to hate PHP either don't use it, or only claim to hate it because, well, you know... it's the Dev way.

4 years ago

Me: you probably shouldn’t use an IDE, you would learn a lot more about the language if you did things manually.

JavaFriend: Nah I’m all good

Me: alright you do you

4 years LATER

Me: *gets text* oh it’s from JavaFriend. *opens text*

JavaFriend: “dude so I decided to stop using my IDE’s and start doing things manually and I’m learning so much”

Me: ...
Me: I know. I’ve been doing it like this for a reason.

I know IDEs are helpful and good to use but personally I like to work without them and I feel it helps you learn the language more of you go without it.
If you have opinions on the topic in general lemme know.

I've worked in a lot of customer service jobs and the more i have to deal with client, the more story starting to pile up. But something always come back and it's frustrating. The entitlement people have. I work as a Technical Support agent and for the most part i'm actually happy to help people with fixing their problems. But once in a while i always get that idiot that doesn't do anything i told him, blame me because "my fixes" don't work or just straight up don't listen to me and think they know better. Why the fuck do you call me if you need help if you're going to ignore everything i say and act like a fucking children. I'm not the one that call for technical support.

I know this place is more for Dev, but i'm sure those kind of things happen all the time when a client think he know more than the dev themselves...

Colleague from other department : Hey man I don't think my laptop can access to my company mail do you think you can fix it?

Me, newly working as an application programmer : Nah sorry man, perhaps you could ask that technician by the server room. He will know more hardware than I do.

Colleague : But aren't you also an IT specialist?

Me : Did you just assume my occupation?

I'm kinda insecure about my main focus being web stuff. I'm pretty good at it and it comes naturally - and more importantly, there are tons of web jobs. But I've always wanted to do something more unique and interesting, you know? I don't wanna introduce myself as web developer.

You have a JavaScript application. You have to keep up with stupid devs that don't know TypeScript because you don't have the time to let them study it and they get demotivated when they can't do stuff so fine, you keep it JS. You use JSDoc to write the documentation. You miss using TypeScript so you start doing some @typedef's. Oh your linter gets it and starts behaving as a substitute of TypeScript. You get excited and write more and more @typedef's! ... until they get so complicated that you start documenting *that*...

Do you know that KDE is more lighter than MATE? In the screenshot the RAM usage you can see is from a live. The same test on the same PC with MATE take 900 MB and with GNOME 1,5 GB. Test made with the latest LTS of Ubuntu.

We need more cool stuff to put in our profile pic
Like chainsaw our skull on the desk
Shotgun lying on the ground
Quad-copper hovering on top
Controller cars
...
You know what I mean

Looked into my spam/junk folder and found this. I don't have a C-Panel account, just so you know. I took a look into the link to check it out. It's quite obviously an attempt at phishing. (more screenshots in the comments)

I really don't like billing time for things I am not really sure how to do and need time to educate myself on. This happens more often than my wallet is comfortable with and I spend more time learning than making money. How do you go about staying in an estimate or fixed budget when something comes up that you don't know anything about?

Don't you hate it when your team lead sucks and you know more about management and development than he does?

Just came to know that you can use adb over wifi! No more crashing avd's! 🎉

You know what’s more annoying than someone downvoting your answer on Stack Overflow without leaving a comment explaining why?

When it’s your own answer to your own question...

The one skill I know that I am really proud of is GIT.

Put me into trouble with merge conflicts.
Saved my life with its version control.
Always had an adventurous ride with Git. Hope to have many more such rides and get to learn more about you.

To all the developers with a permanent job:

Do you guys still reference the web when working on a project or you know everything and code everything perfectly w/o help?

Just wanted to know if I need more practice with my skills or am I good to go.

"You obviously nerfed something, it's broken now and it wasn't last patch!"

*git log shows nothing changed in 9 months*

When players know more about your code than your version control does...

Boss: What's the estimate?
Dev: A month
---
Boss: What if we add one more engineer?
Dev: Two months
---
...
Boss: If we add a PM
Dev: Trust me. You don't wanna know

!rant

I asked my teacher if i would be allowed to use lists in final exam. (If you read my last rants about him you'll know he has a fetish with arrays) He allowed it! I'm feeling so relieved!
(He changed his mind more than once for the last few weeks, but this time he made a clear decision and he will stick with it. He even promised it.)
No more fear now, I know I can do that 😁

you know a meeting is productive when it goes for more than 3 hours

JS frameworks.

it's great how most are easy to use and very useful.

i dont know why people hate this abundance of choice, if theres too many for you to chose than you need to be more decisive.

How is it that VPs appear less and less competent the more you get to know them?

!Rant.

When you begin to terminate sentences with semicolons; And it feels more natural than using a period. You know you've spent too much time coding;

You know a meeting is boring when even refactoring some legacy garbage is more enticing than just sitting and listening 😬

Me: Can you write the exact code one more time but in C language this time, so we can see it?

Other: But why, what's the problem?

Me: I don't know, maybe is garbage collector which collected all your code because IT LOOKS LIKE TRASHHHHH :@:@:@:@

My brain: Its a company that works with web technologies and the job is more of a devops job they wont expect you to know cpp compilation process.

Interviewer: Last question tell me in detail what happens when you compile a cpp program.

There is a constructed language called Tokipona. It was made to be the easiest language, and it only contains like 137 words or so.

This language is a perfect demonstration of “expressivity”. Tokipona is not very expressive. Before you know it, your sentence is obscenely long, and you didn't even convey the full meaning of what you wanted to say.

It's also the case with “easy” programming languages and frameworks. Code quantities rise exponentially, and the more code you have, the more bugs there are. There is no magic. And then you have to debug it. Not so easy, huh?

Don't be specific on any programming languages, focus more on OOP approach, and say you know about OOD/A rather than, you know Java, C# and this and that.

How can you be a Server Administrator for more that 10 years when you don't know what a Terminal/Commandline is and that there's a difference between GET and POST?

If you want to know everthing about my latest travels 🏖, hobbies 🏀, tech 🎮, daily struggles 🤹‍♂️ and more, just visit...

My browser history🌏

👋 HEY 👋
✋ DID YOU KNOW ❓
🕵️‍♀️USING EMOJIS IN YOUR 🅱LOG POST 👶
👼WILL MAKE YOU MORE PROFESSIONAL? 👩‍💻👩‍💻

🈹*this post was made by the emoji gang🈹

Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?

Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?

But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡

Man fuuuuuuck, there's nothing more frustrating and scary than fucking up a local git repo. Because you know for a fact you won't be able to restore it

And I even had god damn backups of the .git folder. But reverting leaves me with more files than I started with fuuuck

Me: Damn you good tasty coffee!!! Now I can't drink coffee anywhere else than at home and (more) expensive coffeebars!!!

Coffee: But you love me!!

Me: I know!! That's the fucking problem!!

Imagine being a senior dev with a green junior that says: "Well maybe there is a better way and I just don't know"

and you say:

"There is, I'm telling you"

only to continue on discussing it more.

Always weirds me out when people talk about developing "the" blockchain instead of "a" blockchain. Like...you guys know there's more than one, right? At this point there's actually kind of a lot of them.

Nothing more refreshing than seeing the code definitely do the opposite of what its line comments say it does in the first file you open to get to know the new project 😅

When even sudo can't get you out of trouble, you know life can't get more shittier!!!

Started a new job recently and feel like I don't know anything compared to everyone else, only got a years commercial experience but feel like I should know more! Anybody else ever feel like this when they were starting out? How do you overcome it?

Day no.1 with Googles scholarship course ad udacity..

I learned that a line of code is "pew" so many lines of code is "pew pew pew". Now I'm ready to do serious android app development.

Ever have one of those days where you're just:

"Man i don't want to get into THAT right now, don't know why but I just don't...."

Then a task jumps out at you.

"Oh shit that, yeah I want to do that!"

I don't know what the difference is but sometimes one task seems more motivating for no reason at all.

This is really sucks 😠😠😡 and you know you cant extend your f......ing storage cause they decide who want more storage.

The more frustrated I get with a project the less my commit messages are expressive about the code changes and the more the end up reflecting my disposition. I'm sorry to all future employees who may want to know what I did but hopefully you get a laugh.

When you know more programming language than your teacher... but not because you're good, just because he sucks!
Reminds me of this question: it only happens once in a while or you had you guys experienced same feelling? How did you do to turn around that in your college?

Hey, i don't wanna start a war here, but.... what you guys use more: GitHub or bitbucket? and in which case should i use one or another?
Yes, i have tried google, but i wanna know what you think about those two.
Thanks

Soundcloud used to know how to shuffle your liked tracks. Not it only shuffles the tracks that are in the playlist and the playlist only contains the (literally) visible tracks.

Basically, If you want to shuffle more than 30 songs at once you hace to scroll down for it...

Whaaaat? Now i can't even say in public that i would like one slave robot in the future because it would sound too nasty or pollitically incorrect?

Don't know about you but... python sounds more nasty to me...

Question, have you ever felt like you have been pigeonholed into specific languages? I am feeling more and more like I am getting forced onto projects because to few people know the language (LabVIEW). getting tired of it, and not sure what the way out is.

Favorite programming language? Or more like what is in your opinion a staple language you think one should know?

I want to get into game dev, but don't know which engine to choose, Unreal or Unity. Both would be free, because Unreal is free for students. I already know C++, but I think it depends more on the API than the language itself. Maybe I would like to create games for Android too.
Which one would you recommend? Any experience?

Can’t believe my sister said that the web pages I develop probably get more head than I do... she’s actually right, you know

Do you wanna know the secret to getting people's attention? I could tell you but you'll have to ... [read more]

When you know your product sucks and even you won't support it. Too bad for those two windows phone users left in the world.

Working on a Project. Forced to use xaml I hate xaml. C# is so much more efficient/ easier. Now at least I have an excuse
. 😤

Know your tools. Take some time to explore them. Knowing shortcuts, the capabilities of your IDE (and plug-ins), libraries and many more will look you like a wizard to others and can save you many efforts.

When you new to devrant (and your autocorrect keeps changing it to servant) and you don't know how to edit your first post (add more tags)

When I saw a blog post said you need more than 1 cup of coffee to get AWS configuration done, I didn't believe it. Now I know... it's true. very true. It takes forever to make use of your config. By the time it's done, you already switch to something else.

The only thing more druggy than devRant is the Hot Network Questions section on you know where

Why don’t you like sharing your salary with coworkers? I tell people exactly what I am paid if the conversation comes up. It helps to know where you stand, i.e. if you’re being under paid or if you should ask for more in the next review cycle.

Man...
When you know you can't spend more time in your computer.
Woke up with a fucked knee... Got a fucking arrow in the knee.
Now, I can't walk, I can't sit, looks like a ball...

You know you didn't ignore node_modules when 'git add' takes more time than 'git push' on a 3G

Do you guys know a cool language to get a bit more into functional programming?
Doesn't matter if purely functional or a mashup of functional and imperative programming.
And please a real-world language, let Haskell stay in its Ivory-tower where it belongs.

I swear to god, If I have to explain git bisect to another "senior" one more time!! Like, how do you _not_ know this?! Know your basics, please! 🤬

Who says that no one is still waiting for traditional mails? ;) Thanks from Italy @dfox ! I don't know how many devs from my country are here but you are more than welcome to come! :D

Thought: Googling and using Stack Overflow is the fast food equivalent of coding. Sure you get an answer, but it's the minimal "nutritional value" you need to survive. Whereas if you had to go through the whole doc to do something, you were bound to stumble on a few things you didn't know, giving you much more knowledge in the end. Does that make sense?

You know you should tidy up some space when your ssd has more space left then your hard drive

I still have a second hard drive, but I'm too lazy to move either my steam games or my programs over there...
The time will hit me when the last GB has been used

I like there's a new ECMAScript version but ECMAScript 2015 didn't replace ECMAScript 5 as BrowserJS

huh the more you know

That nice feeling, when your laptop battery has 10% of charge left and you *know* you still have a good half an hour to do whatever you're doing before you have to worry about it.

You're more likely to finish your task than run out of juice.

This brings all kinds of satisfactory feelings 😌

I'm so done with auth
it's more than a nightmare
it's a disgrace
why can't someone just be like "you know how auth and identity is hard? why don't we make it easy?"
I would pay so much for that

If you like to know more search online later 😠🙅

Do you guys version pre-release projects (Beta, Alpha) as for instance “Beta 0.9”, or “Beta 1.9”? I’m asking because I don’t know which one seems more clear

User A: So, we have some issue with uploading files. You guys need to fix it.
Me: Yeah, sure. We'll put it in our issue log. I'll let you know when its fixed so you can try uploading.
> Solving other issues which they said was more important.
A few days later:
User A: Uhhh..so guys, we have this issue while uploading..
Me: Yes, I know. We'll solve it and let you know when you can test it again.
> Working on that uploading issue
User A: So, I sent you an email. Its about the file upload. It doesnt seem to be working

Is it really hard to understand when I said to wait till we get it fixed?

The more I learn frontend the more I like it. Imagine, actually becoming good at something makes you hate it less! I know, I know, I was shocked too.

Completely unrelated question:
if you have all the mods for the factors of a product, is it possible to derive the factors from the modulus?

(lol you know what this is about).

The product "fingerprinting" I talked about a while back is starting to allow me to find the modulus of factors, and I want to know what I can do with that if anything.

You know what I just love? That co-worker who constantly cracks his knuckles. I wonder what sound it would make if someone made his fingers bend just a little more.

My parents on the one side love my passion to programming (it’s actually because of my dad who introduced me to computers), but on the flip side they think that I should focus more on school - which is true, but you know... It’s hard to stop with something you like, isn’t it?

Friendly reminder that if you disable remote content in your email client, the feature that almost every email client allows, there will be NO WAY for all those bloody spammer corporations to know that you even opened the email. I also prefer my emails with no graphics, I find them more beautiful that way.

I get the opportunity to talk with a pro today:

"Pro": hey do you know how to use tool X?

Me: well I've used it sometimes for simple stuff but I've always wanted to learn more advanced stuff.

"Pro": let me show you
*repeats the basics that are available in every single online tutorial and are tbh pretty obvious*

Me: yeah I know that but how do you use function A with option B under circumstance C? (Because I've encountered that recently)

"Pro": Oh... emm... I don't know. I don't think you'll ever need that use case tho

That LOL feeling when incompetent backend wants you to fix their bug on the frontend!

How about NO!?

And why tf I know more about how backend works on this system than devs that are actually working on it???

I see all kinds of rants here about how coworkers and bosses know nothing about programming. And I'm over here like, how'd they get a job? I feel like every company wants you to be a code ninja rockstar badass, and they're constantly telling me they're pursuing these other unicorns, not me. What gives? I don't know everything, but I know more than done ranters coworkers and bosses. Fuck.

Convo b/w me & lecturer.

Me: Is one line that explains exactly what it does okay?
Him: No.
Me: Okay I'll make it a paragraph explaining it a lot more in detail...Is that okay?
Him: Nope, you need to elaborate for laymen.

I don't know what more I can add. Sick of useless documentation. Any one else have this problem?

!rant

So my friend has this idea. I don't know much about it, but from what I do know, it sounds pretty cool and I want to know what you all think.

Basically, it's an ide on the web, that has integration for multiple languages. He wants it to make codeling quicker and more accessible, and it would also allow the poor students who have to deal with shitty school chromebooks to code.