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Search - "not for me"
-
*client calls in*
Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: my ip is blocked, could you unblock it for me?
Me: certainly! What's your ip address? Then I'll have a look.
Client: I'm not giving you my ip?! That's too privacy sensitive.
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: sir, I'm very keen on my privacy myself but without that information I can't do much for you 😬
Client: ah so you're refusing to help me?
Me: not like that, it's just very hard to lift an ip block for me when I don't know the ip address.
Client: you just don't want to help, fine.
*click*
😶32 -
Client: Hey, you're the IT guy right?
Me: Hey, how can I help?
Client: Yeah for some reason I've lost power to my computer
Me: *Checks power, all computers are down due to a power cut*
Me: You'll have to contact your power supplier as you've lost power to all computers and lights.
Client: What, but the computers are not working right? - that's you're job not mine
Me: That's not how it works.
Client: Fix this or I'll bill you for the loss of money we've encountered during this and report this to your boss.
Me: How about I bill you for my time and advice and inform by boss that you tried to blame me for a power cut.
Client: You can try.
Me: *walks off and puts time in the ticket, requests purchasing to send an invoice*
2 Days later:
The client does not pay the invoice.
Me: (phone call) Hi, an invoice has been sent to you and we haven't received payment yet.
Client: were not paying that, you broke our power and made our computers break
Me: null22 -
So...
It seems that I am building a toolbar for IE11.
Send me your wishes and love.
P.S. Not a joke30 -
Me: I'm done working for today, let's pack up and go home !
Windows: :)
Me: You better fucking not-
Windows: Installing update 1 of 893...11 -
Not a coding test, but:
Them: So you are interviewing for a programmer opening. Do you like programming?
Me: yes.
Them: do you make logos?
Me: ...I can...?
Them: good because you won't always be writing code here.
Me: I'm out.8 -
Me: *staring at computer screen, not looking busy*
Boss: Why are you not working?
Me: I am, I'm just waiting for this thing to finish installing.
Boss: You do realize you can still do other stuff while that's running, right?
Me: Didn't you send me an article last week about the dangers of multitasking?
Boss: um...
Me: *now intently staring at progress bar..."
Boss: fuck sakes... *walks away*11 -
They asked for a web developer
Interviewer : can you fix this printer ?
Me: no
Interviewer : You're not for this job
Me: thanks God I'm not for that job1 -
Fixed this assholes phone for her... she proceeds to take the phone and say “thanks for fixing it, it was kind of you to do it for free!”
Uhm, ex-fucking-cuse me?! I run a business, not a god damned charity.
She got me my fucking money.108 -
Client : Hey make me five page website with blabalabla blabla blabla blablablablablabla that should be easy for you! for 10$?
me : for 10$ i can create a new folder and thats it and i am not gonna call it project i will name it asdaddaddadsas!15 -
id·i·ot
ˈidēət/
noun
Not paying me for 3 months and expecting me to reply to client emails
synonyms: my boss5 -
Friend : Queue is just 'Q' followed by 4 silent letter..
Me : they are not silent they are waiting for their turn...
☺☺☺7 -
My gf caught me unguarded after she told me that she has some updates for her webpage, right after I did the last updates. Massively amused. Not! 😅24
-
Tech support to my friend:
Friend: Root my phone!
Me: why
Friend: play store is not working
Me: why do u want to root for that?
Friend: is there any other option?
Me: give me ur phone
After 20 sec ...
Me: Sign in to ur Google account 😐😐3 -
Phone call...
Caller: we contact you to arrange an interview for Java developer position, what time is good with you?
Me: Sorry Sir, I am javascript developer not Java developer!
Caller: You mentioned in your CV that you are using Java and Ayax for building applications!
Me: Trust me Sir, I don't have any relationship with your Ayax...
Caller: No problem, we can discuss this small technical difference in the interview. When you are available for it?
Me: No Sir, I am not available.7 -
Marketing: it's not working...
Me: *fixes bug and pushes changes in less than 5 mins*
Me: Well it's working for me
Marketing: strange... it wasn't working 5 minutes ago...
I love their faces of confusion haha11 -
Me: I'm building for 32 bit.
Me: But I feel like I should be building for 64 bit.
Me: But not everyone has a 64 bit OS.
Me: But who the fuck doesn't?
Jerry: The people who can't run our game.1 -
Client(On Call): I emailed some query a day before. I got a response too. But, i am not able to find answer of my specific query.
Me: Let me check that for you. Yes, it is there. See the mail carefully.
Client: No. It's not there.
Me: Can you read the whole mail for me?
Client: Sure. *Started Reading* Oh yes. Yes. it is here. *Hangs up the Phone.*
Me: Sigh.5 -
Client: ey im not a techguy, just buy the parts for the server, get it running and ship it to me.
😍😍😍7 -
Client: Glad to have you on the team, you come highly recommended for your experience in Microsoft technology, specifically asp.net
Me: I was contacted for a php, mariadb project
Client: well they're all the same
Me: actually sir no.... No they're not.
Client: then why was I told to contact you
Me: you tell me, your hiring manager contacted me for a php project not asp or. Net
Client: well I guess I know who to blame for your, sorry for taking your time. Can I contact you if we have a project made with that thing you mentioned?
Me: php?, Sure
Client: nice...... Take care
Me: you too
That went better than I expected3 -
God damn it, I'm a fucking computer guy. Not your fucking photographer. If you want pictures for YOUR website YOU fucking take them, NOT ME! Go step of a fucking lego.3
-
150K, fucking finally!
And no, it's not 'just about the upvotes' for me, I already explained that one numerous times.
Yay!27 -
Me: So we've used Bootstrap for front-end and Django for ...
Teacher: Bootstrap is not a front-end framework.
Me: Uh..Okay. It's a CSS framework ? My bad.
Teacher: No, Python is for front-end.
Me: You mean templating ? Yeah! We've used Jinja templates.
Teacher: No. Use Python for front-end.10 -
Human: "Why did you buy an old iPhone?"
Me: "Mostly for cross-platform development"
*Apparently that was not the answer they were expecting*5 -
Yes Google, thank you for telling me that I'm not using your app. I'm also not using millions of other apps that exist, so why should I use yours? Am I not making you enough money?7
-
Sister: (she must migrated from iOS to android) you can download these apps and then you can change like colors and themes and everything 😍😱😵
Me: Yeah off course you can...?
Sister: Oh not, oh no, you're not going to tell me you've been able to do this for years?!?
Me: Uhm... Yes...?
Sister: 😵😭😱😭
Not an apple hate rant, just found the convo funny!6 -
Rating:
"1 star for now. Will give 5 stars if it can make me coffee, bring me breakfast in bed and drive me to work."
It's a digital assistant not a literal butler you troll!5 -
Irony: A robot that clicks for me on the "I'm not a robot" buttons.
(Firefox Addon by prowebmasters)10 -
She: "Better not visit devRant for the next.. weeks"
Me: "Lol, what have I done?"
She: "The new iPhone is out"
Me: "..."6 -
Flyer: "Looking for someone to code for coffee factory-thingy, we will not pay you in cash."
Me: "Fucking Pass!"
Flyer: "-We will pay you in bags of coffee instead, from itally"
Me: "-me that pen and sign me up!"1 -
I like when a recruiter calls, decides you're not experienced enough for the role they called for, and immediately ask if you know someone who is. Sure, bro, let me help do your job for you.4
-
Me: I need 4gb of RAM for the server
Ops: who told you that?
Me: it is a minimum recommended setting for the software stated on their website
Ops: at the moment you you are not even using that much RAM
Me: maybe because no one is doing anything on the server ಠ_ಠ3 -
At the Samsung store:
Woman looking for a phone: Can you recommend me a phone by a picture of me?
Seller: Why not, show me the picture.
The woman shows https://devrant.io/rants/728524/... and the seller starts looking for something.
The woman asks: What are you looking for?
Seller: Note 7.1 -
A: There is not even a single forum for cyber security. Let's build one.
Me: Are you sure that there is not even a single forum?
A: Yes, I'm a cyber security expert. I have 5 years of experience in this field.
Me: **walks out quitely**1 -
*is expecting guests and while waiting his coding*
*Bell rings*
ME: Hey Gradma Grandpa welcome.
Grandpa: Here's my phone fix my storage and install FB Messenger for me
AT LEAST FOR GOD SAKE SAY HI TO ME. IM YOUR NEPHEW FOR GOD SAKE NOT SOME RANDOM HUMAN BEING.9 -
Please do not send me fucking messages saying “hi how are you?“ and then wait for my response before asking me what you actually want.13
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Recruiter emails me about a role. I replied that I am not interested.
Two weeks later, the recruiter emails me again that my profile is not suitable for the role and they have saved my details and will contact me in future.
WTF. This is a very well reputed organization for that matter.4 -
Me: Taking online course for programming. Think it's not that hard.
PC: Coded programm runs good like in the tutorial.
Me: Wow I can code now.
Just printed "Hello World"4 -
Mac: you have to reboot for updates
Me: ok
Mac: ... ... (It didn't start anymore)
Work project was there and I did not push :(12 -
Me in a test:
if(boolean)
return value;
return something_else;
I then lost 2 marks for not having an else statement -.-30 -
Notification: someone you know is on Instagram
Me: ohhh? Are they? Fucking good for them then ain't it. Least they're not on fucking heroin...7 -
Me, starting my internship in ML.. coworkers come to me asking what computer I need:
Me: Well, something more powerful than this i3, and most importantly some kind of GPU for training.
Them: Ok, what kind of GPU?
Me: Well, a 1080 or 2080 should be more than enough and good performance for the price.
Them: Oh.. We were more thinking about a Tesla V100 or something like that!
Me: (internally) WTF this costs more than what you'll pay me for the internship, this is so cool. (to them) Oh, yes, why not, great perfomance, blah blah blah.
I would prefer them to pay me more, but at least they're not going to hold me down with bad components! Nothing to rant about for now.. Hope it'll stay the same ^^5 -
Other: "You know the app you're going to develop for us?"
Me: "Yes."
Other: "Can you give me access to it so I can take some screenshots for writing the guidance?"
Me: "Err.. Well not really as it doesn't actually exist yet..."
Why do I have to deal with such people.3 -
My cousin just messaged me and asked me to make him a discount code for an online retailer.
THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS.6 -
Well dear former employer thank you for everything. Thanks for taking me on as a junior and not providing any training at all. Thanks for changing my job role without consulting me whilst I was on holiday and again failing to train me for a job I had no idea about, but you apparently needed me to do for you. And finally thank you for letting me work nearly a full shift before telling me how much you like me, don't have a bad word to say about me, and you're really happy with all my work but the company and I "aren't a very good fit for each other anymore".4
-
Hey junior... when I'm asking a question it's not the answer I'm looking for.... It's your thought process! Just tell me the things you will not do and we can take it from there!4
-
Today is the first saturday where that is not a working day for me.
Joined a new company this week1 -
Everytime 🙄
Client: it's not working.
Me: what isn't
Client: the app video and link thing locator
Me: device and spec ? Like I always need
Client:iPhone
Me: yes. What one and what version of iOS
Client: urm 6s iOS 10 something
Me: great 😏 not broken for me
Client: well everyone is complaining so we need it fixed.
What can i even do now 😐7 -
!dev, sort of
Days like today make me not ready for Monday. Goddamnit nature, why you gotta be so pristine?12 -
fuck you to the tech software engineer who would sexually harass me for over a year straight and would simply NOT GET THE FUCKING POINT that I'M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED.
Worst mistake of my life.13 -
In honor of Erwin Schrodinger's birthday I may or may not kill a cat. For the love of God nobody ask me which.5
-
CEO: You are hired to solve the problem for the company, not to create new problems
Me: You are the problem.3 -
pm: why this things are getting late in development.
me: no, I'm not late, on track, this will be done by end of the next week.
pm: but my estimation was for today EOD.
me: you never asked me for the estimation..
pm: we are here for that.
me: then do this yourself..*asshole* -
me, when someone yells at me for not able to resolve an "electronic" issue because I'm pursuing a computer science degree2
-
Not a rant, quite the opposite. Look what my flatmate got me for my birthday today!
I finally have a debug buddy !!! 😄7 -
STOP. LOOKING. AT. HALF. FINISHED. SPRINTS. FOR. STYLING. ERRORS.
For the love of god I know it's not right yet leave me aloooooone7 -
Tested out my first app and it worked beautifully. I’m a projectionist and I made this to give me a constant visual feed of projector communication connection. Still in development, not ready for deployment yet. But it works!
I’m posting here because although this site did not help me technically, it definitely helped me emotionally. ;)6 -
This week I had a technical interview for a Python developer position.
They asked me Javascript questions.
Not a single Python question.
Fml9 -
Me: "ok for the following changes you must pay the following charge because it's not in the scope"
Customer: "bUt tHiS Is Not whAt I wanT, wOnT pAY thE ResT iF yoU arE nOt DoiN It blablabla"
Marketing: "please do it for him"
Fuck me.1 -
I became github addicted...
I started to use it for any single little project I ever created, for documents, files not code related (of course private repositories), etc. instead of using a cloud storage service.
Please tell me I'm not the only one.5 -
> Best part about working from home?
"People don't give me as much shit for having a wank during standups" - not me, but I wish it was7 -
None, for me, but that's why I work as a cybersecurity engineer and not a dev!
But, I do tons of side projects and the reason why I love it: it makes me feel like I'm in God mode. (and helps me solve quite some problems)
Quite ironic, for an atheist ;)4 -
As a side project, I've been helping out a friend build a website for free.
friend: I need more of your commitment for this project. We're about to get a huge client!
Me: Yeah you've been saying that for a year. Dude, I just don't have time to waste in projects that are not givine me any money.
friend: HOW DARE YOU! ARE YOU BLACKMAILING ME?!?!
ugh... not my friend anymore10 -
So rapper didn't pay me for his site I just built... body {display:none} got me what being polite did not #finallycsscomestotherescue1
-
Recruiter story.. hilarious stuff..
I have an interview in next fifteen minutes and was setting up for it.
Recruiter calls me to remind me of the same.
I ask her to tell me who the interviewer would be, because she did not mention in the invite and also did not respond when I asked her over the email.
Her response: sure, wait a minute... Actually we are not allowed to disclose interviewer.
LMAO WTF!!7 -
i outed to my boss
During this moment, i had this in mind:
- we do not forget
- we do not forgive
- we are legions
result :
bloody nose for me
heart issues for him
score : 1-1
I am leaving ...17 -
I just automated the tasks I had for next week. What to do, what to do ^^ This is not really a rant but just me boasting. Time for beer.3
-
I'm starting to think about not working for this potential client I met today.
He said he wants me to modify an open source software, I asked him what language it's written with, he replied "Open Source". He thinks Open source was a language.
He hasn't even given me the link of the repo, he was already telling me not to put bug in the project in a bid to always make him contact me for updates.
I asked him sarcastically, "Who does that? ".
He was also talking about me doing minor tweaks here and there if need be after I deliver.
Too many red flags for me. No contract and I'm not interested. I foresee it's going to go sour.
What do you guys feel?15 -
Shit went very well - I am really happy for my future
Hopefully, the bureaucracy will be faster for me :P
Details? Not yet5 -
Me: *browsing devRant*
Friend who's on every Social Media paltform: what's that?
Me: devRant
Friend: *taking out phone* I need to join
Me: its for developers
Friend: *putting back phone in pocket* Ooh
Me: *grinning wildy in my sweet little heart* *yes you piece of shit. This one's not for you*
It feels good to have a corner thats not for everyone3 -
Ok so maybe not a full rant but it really pisses me off that the version number for Visual Studio 2015 is 14.03
-
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?
Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you
Me: Not now dad
Dad: Not asking for a Software Engineer are they?
Me:Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now
Dad: Go see if "Deploying code to production" helps.2 -
Every time user complains about high latency in my Android Audio app:
User blames -> Me
Me blames -> JUCE
JUCE blames -> Google
Google blames -> Phone manufacturer
Manufacturer blames -> Users for not paying enough2 -
Writing some algorithm:
me: *codes for half an hour*
"hmm... isn't working... wait wtf this isn't right..."
me: *codes for an hour again*
"still not working hmmm... wait what no this isn't supposed to work..."
me: *codes for a few hours*
"still not working God damnit.... it's supposed to work now..."
me after another few hours: MOTHERFUCKER CAN YOU START FCKING WORKING FUUUUUUUUUUU1 -
And now the bloody client that can't pay me is asking me to remove the search feature I spent days implementing as she'd asked me to not a week ago. She doesn't seem to realise I develop for money, I don't develop for good will and positive vibes.8
-
I'm not one for filtered searches (hence Safe Search off), though search results like this happen often enough for me to inevitably end up clicking around co-workers.11
-
Not seen girlfriend in 2 weeks. Been here less than a minute and she's ignoring me for facebook. At least I have devRant!5
-
Friend: « Can you help me do the js part of my paid contract for free ? »
Me: Yeees, sure, I am not going to do that, never3 -
Windows: would you like to update?
Me: no not rn I'm currently on battery and traveling, let me just quickly restart.
Windows: Okay I'll install the latest updates for you.
Me: oh FFS10 -
For my job interview, they asked me to write simple Java code to check if the string is palindrome or not! Like sir, I've prepared for advanced quick sort and all algorithms and you ask me this!! 🥺14
-
You came to me with a problem, and I have the solution. I'm working with you to achieve a goal not for you.
I don't need you, you need me.
I've been using the above statement for a little over two years. Has been working pretty well. Might not apply to or help everyone but it sure helps me.3 -
Manager: let's use elasticsearch for performing relational queries. PostgreSQL performance is not great.
Me: Say what? 👿4 -
Me: Im testing a new feature that is not on production yet for 30m and can not make it work. (I asked the developer for any idea why is not working)
Dev: i just tested, works fine.
Me: i just tested again with no luck. I’m i missing anything?
Dev: (Developer comes to my desk). Lets see what you doing wrong here. (After 5seconds). You're not on UAT. You have been redirected to the production and you've been testing there all this time.
Me: 😩 -
-Are you programmer?
-maybe?
-can you do something for me?
-can I?
-I need you to hack this Face..
-Not again...1 -
When i was 12 or so, my mom bought me the java for dummies book. Don't get me wrong, thats not where i learned from, it just motivated me to find actually useful resources to do so.3
-
Minecraft mods get me into programming. I used to spend hours yelling at Eclipse for not making that stupid JAR file! 7 years later, I'm pursuing a career as someone who spends hours yelling at a CLI assembler for not making that stupid ISO file! Good times.2
-
A team member called me the worst manager he ever had. I felt really shitty about myself.
Managing people is not easy and it is not for everyone.11 -
Can someone explain the philosophy of the "not for me" downvote?
There are many things that are "not for me" in life, but, presumably, this action executes a global downvote on the post/comment---which is pretty much an expression of "not for anyone".
If this action were to train a recommendation engine---so I get recommendations that like-minded people see---then great. But why should that result in a public downvote?
I don't go up to people in the bar and say "Drinking Guinness? Not for me, mate." As an adult, I understand that my preferences are not universal.
Personally, I can't square the idea of "not for me" with its consequence of a public downvote.
I'm sure this must have been covered before...but all rants, as physiological and emotional activities, are unique. Your rant can never be mine.4 -
For me I think it basically comes down to this:
Any software that I have to use for work purposes that I do not have admin access to! -
Today is not friday, but tomorrow is a national holiday here in Portugal, so it's a friday for me ✌️
Only fourty more minutes for a three day weekend!!3 -
Nobody understands me
Does it matter
Not at all
I have my laptop
And it understands what I am saying
That's enough for me ;)4 -
Skeuomorphism is back. Flat design is over. Thank goodness. I remember guys bullying me for not liking the flat design.6
-
*me browsing through my company's code style guide*
"You must not use spaces for indentation" - awesome!
"Files must not contain more than 4000 lines of code" - wtf?9 -
Started a new job, they handed me a new phone and asked me to have my 2 phones with me all the time. So sad technology for putting 2 SIM cards in one phone has not been invented yet. Oh wait4
-
Me: Im testing a new feature that is not on production yet for 30m and can not make it work. (I asked the developer for any idea why is not working)
Dev: i just tested, works fine.
Me: i just tested again with no luck. I’m i missing anything?
Dev: (Developer comes to my desk). Lets see what you doing wrong here. (After 5seconds). You have been redirected to the production site and you've been testing there all this time.
Me: 😩1 -
Today is the day I contributed to the open source software for the first time.
It may not be a big thing for someone but for me it is.6 -
Client: I can't generate the report for this vendor. Please check.
Me: It's working sir.
Client: But not for me. Please check!
1hr later...
Client: Oh sorry, I was selecting the wrong vendor.
Wtf, madafaqa1 -
Recruiters on linkedin...
Recruiter: You'd be a great fit for this senior position! Let's chat!
Me (knowing I'm not senior level): Sure, let's chat!
Recruiter: Wait, you only have 3 years experience. You're not really qualified.
Me: Yup. You should probably look at a profile before starting a conversation.1 -
I was working as an intern at small company, and after a month we signed contract
But each month they had some excuse for not paying me, or any of the employees
So I quit after 3 months without any payment
But I would not have been where I am, if I was not in that difficult condition, it made me work harder, and thought me to always keep my options open :-) -
I'm not a web dev but I am pretty sure it is not so easy!
TNW just lost it's respect from me for this click bait!3 -
I'm still a student, not dev yet.
Thanks for reminding me that I don't completely belong in here😂11 -
2 years ago..
Me : How can i learn Java?
College Senior : Do some online courses.
*did a course for a month! Still not confident*
Me: it ain't working for me.
Senior: Do some project.
*Created an Android App under internship! Still not confident*
After wasting my 6 months on Java, i reached to the conclusion that: "Java Sucks" (at least for me)
No Offence!16 -
!devrant
So today my CTO reigned, and I heard rumours that they probably will have me as the next CTO. Me personally, I'm not ready for this ... Even as a Senior Software Engineer , sometimes I have obstacles leading the my Juniors (6 of them).
Also, for the same pay, I rather maintain my current position.
I am not ready yet.9 -
When I post a collab and someone asks me how the project is going and how much the progress..
Inside me: oh boy, I just post ideas here.. not time for implementation1 -
That one company that told me they will not pay me since they did not told me to start. After a full month of cooperation and nearly daily phone calls with them about the project and it's progress.
I told this their customer I actually built the project for and now I get paid directly.4 -
Me: I would like to receive external training for RHCSA course and certification
Company: Sure! we will open a ticket for you and keep you posted
Me: it's been almost 3 months, could you give me any updates?
Company: Oh actually you are not eligible! this certification is not aligned with your job description!
Me: But...I use linux every single day and it's one of the main requirements to be able to do my job?
Company: Yeah whatever no need to get certified still..!
Me: Why didn't you tell me that 3 months ago?
Company: Well the process was changed and we decided this certification does not match your profile
Me: What matches my profile then?
Company: certificates in Azure and GCP
Me: But I don't ever use those platforms?
Company: ......
Me: ......1 -
Deleting 3 of the 4 Android sdk folders. Why not update one instead. Getting another 90GB of space back which is good for me.
-
Bought a GoDaddy.com domain for the website for our startup as a joint decision by the CEO, marketing guy and me(the Dev), cuz it basically fulfilled our needs. Got some criticism from peers and mentors for not choosing AWS. Guess who's not shitting their pants now.4
-
been a developer for 8 years (after college) and its somehow just dawned on me that no, architecture is not you projects folder structure :/4
-
Archlinux.org went down just now for probably not only me. Guess who was in the middle of setting up his system again3
-
Me: "can you please send my credentials for the database?"
Hosting provider: "Yea sure... We will set it up on our servers in no time"
*5 mins later: provider sends mail to me*
Me: *looks at mail*
Also me: *NOTHING TO DO HERE*
Congrats to jweiland.net for not being able to support their customers.2 -
Why is it still not working for me?
FOR THE 10TH TIME TODAY CLEAR YOUR FUCKING CACHE!
Sorry what was that?
Clear your cache please.1 -
Uncle gives me a call one day - "hey aren't you a computer science graduate? Can you fix my computer for me it does not open Internet Explorer"
Me - 😖😡3 -
Client: we need a report that <unclear requirements>
Me: alright, here's what you requested.
Client: that's not what I asked for.
Inner me: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED FOR!! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK REEEEEEEEEEE!!!!3 -
Notch.
Not even specifically for minecraft but for the live streams he did for the ludum dares, how he made up games from nothing just inspires me big time.10 -
My reward for understanding this thing is an early night. Time for bed :) remind me not to submit this assignment with the comments still in it. As I have done before.3
-
i do not know how i fixed it, but it works so i’m done for the day.
any potential repercussions are a problem for future me3 -
What pisses me off most: on-site team/client team not specifying a non reproducable issue properly in an email and expecting a quick fix for it ASAP, making me run in circles.3
-
Background story:
One of the projects I develop generates advice based on energy usage and a questionare with 300 questions.
Over 400 different variables determine what kind of advice is given. Lots of userinput and over a thousand textblocks that need to show or not.
Rant:
WTF do you want me to do when you tell me. It's not giving the right advice for the lights.
Why the for the love of.. do I need to ask you everytime. If something is not working. Tell me what and for wich user. Don't tell me calculation whatever is not working, I don't know that calculation. Your calculations are maintainable in your cms.
And how, like I really wonder, do you expect me, when not telling me what user is having this problemen to find and fix it, You just want me to random guess one of the thousands users that should be given that specific advice?
FCK, like 80% of my time solving problems is spend trying to figure out wtf your talking about.
And then what a miricale the function is doing exactly what is it doing but you forgot a variable. It's not like the code I write suddenly decides it does not feel like giving the right answer.3 -
fuck u aws
all that money and u can't read idiot proof documentation for me to have SQS connect to a VPC endpoint to read a message
also fuck u search algorithms for not handing me an easy bake solution to what is a not a novel situation
also fuck me for being unable to git gud5 -
My react developer tool popped up to tell me that my company slack is using the development build of react not fit for production...1
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Just tell me if the API is ready or not. I can understand if it's not. I just don't like being left out and when the boss asks for an update, I'll get burned for not starting anything yet, all because you guys aren't ready
-
For some reason my wife was watching me reading away at devrant and then says:
Wife: You are missing your protection!
Me: ehh what ....
Wife: Let me fix that.
Then she comes back with a ... wait for it ... green yellow striped glitter apple sticker for my webcam.
I don't know if I should be proud of my wife or ashamed of myself for not a replacement yet.9 -
Why am I a horrible person for following standard linting and thus not using semicolon in my JavaScript code? I write Golang and Elixir which they don't have them and thus it is for me more natural to not have them in JS as well.1
-
Not so long ago, I used to talk to Devs for advice.
And now people are asking me for advice in their paths.
FeelsGood
Anyone has had similar experiences?1 -
Recruiter: blablabla would you be interested in this job ?
Me: It looks great, hell yes I'm interested!
Recruiter: When are you available for a quick call?
Me: I'm not interested anymore.2 -
Dear udemy, please chill. I am glad you found me, but I am not looking for a every-single-youtube-video type of relationship.4
-
My brother (not a dev) asked me for help for his A* algorithm he's trying to optimize.
I'm so proud5 -
Is there an easy way to make your website not look like complete garbage, if you have no idea and no time for some web front-end?11
-
Thanks, client, for not telling me you were going to have a big sales event that needed my intervention. Nice Saturday I'm having.
-
For me its a good night sleep and have a strict rule not to work from home/not-working-location. It will make the window of working time more focused.2
-
Just got rejected for BS reasons after handing in an assignment. Just tell me you found someone better, it's not a crime.14
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Dear Recruiters on LinkedIn and Co. Would you find it in your hearth to not harass me anymore?
I don't care for your half-assed bullshit job offers and I don't want 5 of them per day, you are not professional.
Leave me alone!5 -
"I don't know what I'm doing. Let's try stack overflow."
*check stack overflow*
"I know what someone else did. Let's try that." -
Me:
-Lack of experience
-slow learner/fast learner
-not really a team player
-always keep a positive attitude
-but when I started doing smthing, I'll finish it.
-willing to learn
I wonder if anyone would still hire me to their company.. Let me know.. I fucking hate my workplace and the owner. You hire me for doing smthing else, and you always told me to do smthing else that is not even related to my job. I'm not your fucking ass cleaner. = = you shit on that thing, you clean it yourself. Fucking fucking fuck! -
please for the love of all that is right in the world...name variables something useful. ll_j does not help me.4
-
I'm so bored converting a table from HTML to some weird ReactJS framework...
I've been postponing it for so long!
Front-end stuff is not for me... 😕5 -
My iMac is dead after reinstalling Mojave. It’s a sign from god telling me to stop coding. It’s not for me.6
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Looking for internships for the summer, a comp. sends me a email at 3 in the morning and I had emails from them flagged and my phone woke me up. I'm not mad about rejection but rather why send me a email at 3 I like to sleep sometimes.1
-
Me: yeah I am a full stack node.js web developer
Client: so can u do javaFx
Me: that's not really what ur hiring me for :/1 -
I think this company expects me to do maintenance on this app I built them for free 🙄 not happening you wanted it public that's sign off for the final product not my fault3
-
An old friend just texted me and asked me to hack Facebook. Again.
FUCK OFF. I'm not a fucking work-horse, I'm not a slave, and I'm not fucking with something as meaningless and stupid as FB.
Go hack your way into his neck with an axe if you want to, I'll even help, but fuck messing with their social life. Go for the disease, not the symptoms.4 -
So I wrote the script for the GAL in WinCupl for our project. I used the operators: ! for NOT, * for AND, + for OR
me: *writes code*
me: *compiles it*
compiler: error, unknown operation.
me: wtf but thats how its done, isnt it?
friend: u used the wrong operators. didnt u read the manual?
me: smh i didnt, i invented the syntax xD
lesson learned: always read manual first before writing it directly without knowing the syntax1 -
Ok.. So I applied for a web dev position at a small-to-medium sized company. They had a telephonic round which they were happy with. They then sent out an assignment for me (A simple webapp to complete in 1hr). I did it and sent them the code. Finally, the face to face interview also went well.
At the end of it all, the HR comes back and tells me - "You did not use a MVC framework for the assignment and your code was not optimized for unit testing."
Me - "Ugh. (1) You did not have to call me for the face to face interview if you did not like my code. (2) You specified NOT to use any 3rd party libraries when doing the assignment. (3) You can tell people directly that you cannot afford them."4 -
my instructor forgot to do Cengage shit right again... why me...
Assignment wants me to "go do a thing to sort 3 numbers with if/else statements"
I'm going to use a list and list.sort() as i'm not stupid and these are bad habits to teach...
...or not.
(I know I can put the values into the right vars and then print those but that feels so wrong to me for something that's gonna be printed ONCE. That also doesn't help as it's searching for if/else statements... although it's not searching for a whole one... nor in actual code...)4 -
When a client reaches out to me, I'm like:
404 Fucks Not Found. This is not the web developer you're looking for.2 -
Rejection 4 / 1000 of my 1000 job applications TikTok journey
Another reply with apsolutely no constructive feedback for me. No explanation why they decided not to choose me. Just fuck you we'll go for the next one. No. Fuck YOU7 -
Being a freelancer is not only coding. Mostly (for me at least) it's mailing until you mail your client: "I'm done for today."
FUCK!!!2 -
Lennart Poettering for proving me that it's possible to make a job not finished and still use it in production1
-
If I'm not productive during the day, idk what you expect holding me 3h after work will do.
Maybe not keep your employees in perpetual crunch for 2 years, and then berate them for missing the deadlines that YOU SET! -
Me: Wrote and unit testing code for a user story.
Day of a Merge
PO: We need to back out the code you wrote. We have not gotten approval from legal.
Me: Uhhh well it's not going live for 4 weeks still and not harming anything but if you insist, ok.....
2 Days Later
PO: Ok legal approved the changes can you put that back in?
Me: 😡🖕🏻1 -
I am on Leave since 23rd Dec and I need to go to work on 2nd. Let's hope bugs are not waiting for me4
-
Followed the angular js tutorial until routing section. Then gave up.
It's not for me. Maybe I'll try again in a few weeks.5 -
If now me were to visit 2016 me to say “In 2022 an AI will teach you how to code for quantum computers,” 2016 me would not believe it.3
-
What do you recommend to read for Android developement? The SO documentation is not that great for me since I'm just strarting to create some apps?3
-
Left engineering (and my job) for theoretical CS
My best choice in my opinion, although not every body around me shares it.7 -
One hour before demo of interface
Me: Let's run through demo
Me: Errors WTF it was okay yesterday
Me: Let's debug.
Debugger: Function module not found
Me: I got error saying module not found
Other dev: Yes we changed the name of function and all arguments.
Client: Waiting for demo
Me:**********CENSORED**********3 -
Yey I got a raise. From 55,000 to 56,500 annually. Go Junior me! Hahahaha. Not enough for California though but I’m grateful.10
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Thanks for notifying me.
I really needed to know about
'Default title (title parameter not sent with no..' -
!rant
EULA proposition for broke developers with no legal knowledge whatsoever (like me): “By installing/using this software you agree not to sue me.”
??? git good4 -
Someone is going to rant about me soon...
There are two types of debugging for me:
- Calm
- Not that calm!!
So the guy I was helping out handed me a stress ball...4 -
Today was a real Monday (I know it's Wednesday, let me explain).
Nothing worked. Not for me and not for my coworker. Across all tasks that we did today. It was very frustrating and a lot of swearing was involved.
Every week has to have a Monday I guess. Let's hope tomorrow gets better.1 -
Thank you google for not building firebase as a dynamic framework and making me loose 3 days of work. I hate your guts !
-
"thank u for registering on website.com, enjoy the content"
.....thank you for not forcing me to confirm my email? How rare is this?1 -
working as developer, actually android and java. Maybe not a big deal for you but it is, for me at least3
-
Me and Team Developer,
One day he was calling some apis and getting error
Dev - Hey , the apis seem not to work
Me - Ohk which api, i will Check
Dev - Ohk here is the api and issue
Me - Spent time in checking multiple values for same api, and...
it was working fine with no issue.
Me- SO i asked him to check again
Dev- he again said, still the issue
Me- Ohk give me the same input to try
Dev - Ohk Here is the id of the record
Me - Tested and not working... more tested and got issue like, the id was for some other record, and not actual id he need to call
Me- I told the Dev that he was sending wrong id.
Dev - Ohh Shit, i will check
Me - Yeah, let me know
Dev - Yeah , its working and i wasted 3 days just for this issue.
Me - I said yeah Ohk Fine. (Me Frustrated, as time wasted due to the input issue not mine Api)
Most of the time, this happens and i have to jump to solve. Can Anyone related to this happen with you or your team ?
Comment below7 -
Why some single letter variable names looks ugly to me, for example: c, i and j (and even k) are the most used (mostly in for loops) but does not look ugly.. why?
Ugly
for (int a = 0; a < 10; ++a)
Not ugly
for (int i = 0; i < 10; ++i)24 -
I like fridays because I convince myself that this is the weekend I will do some hardcore programming. Instead it is usually the weekend I spend more time finding a new series to watch than actually coding.
Should probably docker-compose down and stop kidding myself since constantly thinking you will do some work next takes away from actually relaxing and you end up worse off.6 -
Did a website for my uncle. I'm not a web dev and I don't normally do this kind of thing for family but he's putting me up for two weeks. So he asked how difficult websites are, basically just needed me to drop some stuff in a template and host it. Not a problem. The man then brings me a printed piece of paper with changes he wants.... No copy paste for me...2
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Me (waiting for a torrent download): this is gonna take a while. [ISP] is being slow again.
GF: Why not just force download it?1 -
Thank drunk me for making a backup.
My day could have been a whole lot worse.
...not using git for this particular endeavor.1 -
After 2 interviews and a complex case study made to apply for Javascript Architect I was asked to travel from Brazil to Germany for final interview. First question:
Interviewer: what are things that you want to learn next.
Me (dumb): Maybe some functional language like Erlang
Interviewer: why not Javascript?
Me (dumber): Javascript is not that good for functional
Man, I WAS nervous that day 😭3 -
There should be a catch for lorem ipsum on google translate. I tried to translate a text and it took me a while to understand that not me but the web designers fucked up.3
-
I shit you not: Today, a random recruiter phoned a company I work for, asked to speak to me, and then tried to offer me a job :| .Wtf is wrong with you people?! I'm not searching for a job anywhere... Turns out they found me on Linkedin...
-
MFW
me: debugging an issue from a customer for three hours and ask my colleague for help
him: oh, that's not a bug, it is a user error
me: 😶 -
Me: *creates new Vue.js project in IntelliJ IDEA*
Also me: *waits for 2 hours*
IntelliJ IDEA:
PS: Also could someone please comment with Vue Land Discord invite link/code that's not expired?3 -
For me is the same Friday than Monday. I do not know if it is good or bad. Maybe it is good because I do not hate my job or bad because I do not make so much fun on weekends. 😗😗
-
Waiting at a client's office..
Fuck him seriously why make me come here if he's busy and let me wait here! I'm not his slave for God sake! :@2 -
It is 10:54 on a Monday and I have not had a Monster because my drug deal- um doctor, told me off for drinking it (not good for anxiety etc). This shit is tough...8
-
I wonder...
Does anyone really indent with spaces by themselves? I would not if my IDE didn't do it for me.5 -
!rant
We got a new Macbook pro, 2017 model, i was all excited for it, my 2 coworkers and the manager not so much. But being that I am the only one that knows how to use it and will be working on new web related tech as well as advising our contractors and helping them with the ios and android part it was decided that I shall use this baby. So fucking excited. I get to use this baby at work as well as the overpowered work station that they already gave me :] dis gon b good manerant gon buy another one eat it fk it i already have one at home aewe yii it came with everything not mine tho love me a macbook didnt pay for it1 -
Does anyone else have one person who makes them not want to go to work everyday. That person for me is my SCRUM master.
-
Java developers not correctly formatting their code. Like, guys, seriously...your IDEs do that for you and it saves me from having to look at checkstyle complaining for a million lines....1
-
I'M SICK OF YOUR FUCKING HURR DURR TRIPLE FAULT HURR DURR PAGE FAULT THANKE QEMU FOR NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO TELL ME WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS AND FUCK YOU GDB FOR NOT WORKING
-
Site working for me and not coworker during testing.
Go crazzy for 10 minutes.
Find resource pointed to http://localhost/file.php
Feel silly rest of day. -
I've not coded for quite some time but when people ask me to tell a story about my depression I write a code.
-
Android studio is doing like 80% of the work for me, and I'm still not done with this tiny app. :/4
-
Me: *What* is the process to do X in this environment? The link is not working. (Link available in only application 1)
Senior colleague: Through which application?
Me: *Mentions the full name of application 1*. Application 2 works as well.
SC: Yeah it can be done by application 2 as well.
Me: *waits*
*Okay, TELL ME FUCKING HOW!!! I asked for the process, not about its possibility.* -
How to cope with getting cockblocked by coronavirus before job change?
I signed a contract for a job in a foreign country. I was excited for the advantages like better work/life balance, finally getting to linux dev env, friendlier company. But now, I can not even apply for work permit because of restrictions.
Due to already having signed contract already, I completely lost my touch with my current job. I hate it so much that I am having unpaid leaves even though I could do nothing since we are working half team at the same time. Dont tell me to “learn new skills”, I tried, it does not work for me. I am not in the mood for learning.
New company is great that they reassured me I would not lost the opportunity, I would join them whenever I can. So I dont fear losing job but uncertainty kills me. European travel ban was up to 15 May, prolonged to 15 june, which prevents me to apply for work visa. I guess this was the last straw that broke camel’s back.14 -
Is someone else into photography and can recommend me some Opensource software for it. (fuck Adobe for Flash and not supporting Linux)13
-
Jenkins! Damn you, our possibly corrupted OS underlying Jenkins! Damn you, our failed Jenkins backups! Damn you, me for not knowing better.
-
Stir crazy, locked in the house for days..... drove me to make asteroids -1979 for my 404 page. I can't tell if that's a good thing or not?1
-
A recruiter contacted me asking my curriculum (sent), then he sent me some emails before calling me. After some minutes, he said I was not good for the position. But that thing was written on the first line of my cv. Maybe he is not good to read.
Please stop wasting my and your time.4 -
Me : mahn, I'm not able to setup pythn bindings for vim
Friend ( who is tired of me saying about vim ): go get a life
Me: sodo apt-get life
Me: looks like the package is not available, what is the exact name?6 -
Thanks openssh for responding to a malformed key, not by telling me it's malformed, but instead by asking for a passphrase on a key with no passphrase. That only cost me two hours of my life. :P1
-
Well studying for it made me stop working fulltime (in a cs field), so for my bank account it's not useful at all. And for myself, it feels a bit like a waste of time.1
-
It really bugs me out when your co workers start working on a project without telling you. Makes me feel undervalued. I would not complete their sloppy seconds this time for sure
-
The sole reason for me not wanting to continue tinkering with the awesome features of Android SDK is Java.
-
Anyone gave Amazon interview? They scheduled second phone round for me. Apparently I am not that good. Any tips?5
-
I love my peel and stick whiteboard 😍 just planned out my code for tomorrow.
I'm not an ad! Don't smite me! -
I made my first closure in PHP, but I'm not happy.
For me Javascript closure are nicer.
What do you think about?8 -
Can anyone suggest me how I can learn building dapps in fortnight? I went through a lot of medium articles and dapp university but all of it was not enough for me.3
-
I've not used linters on sublime text so far. And now struggling to find a good linter for sublime for writing React JS.
And I am not comfortable to move to atom or VSCode.
Can anyone suggest me some good linters?1 -
I was initially hating on JS for the weak typing and type coercion, but after taking a look at the underlying algorithm it actually somehow makes me think the whole thing is sort of sweet and endearing. Not sure if this makes me a bad person or not4
-
Found myself explaning the internet today and immediatly gave up - because she does not need to know, that's what she has me for!1
-
I am working with Apache Spark on Scala for my undergrad research. It got me thinking: what is Scala used for beside doing stuff with Spark?
Not sure whether it's just me but most posts talking about Scala seem to always mention Spark. -
Not being suitable for eveything is my biggest annoyance with Python. Give me Python with the performance of assembler and I'll be in heaven :)6
-
latest alexa certification experience
them: you must not name your skill like this, this and that.
me: ok. please certify my skill named a not listed option.
them: YoU mUsT nOt NaMe It ThIs EiThEr.
for real, if i would have to do alexa skills for a living i'd long have gone mad (well, madder)
sincerely fu3 -
For me..
Rejection ??
Lol .. as per my experience they don't even have time to reject me :P
If I do not listen any words from them for 1-2 days .. I conclude that I was rejected.. Mostly don't even bother to tell you that you are not selected. -
Not stress with code but with people. Keep on chasing me for the work to be done within their "estimated" time.
-
Rewriting scripts to blacklist IPs of hacked accounts from SMTP logs. Very fun learning experience. Not really any other cool projects for me lol
-
Right now just looking for rants not about Apple, Microsoft, and wanting upvotes...
(Tell me if you find any)1 -
Me (Km) - I develop android applications in my company.
TM - Dumbest technical manager taking care of backend for company products(app).
PM - Product Manager
Incident - PM went to some event to give demo on our App but due to some backend issue there was wrong data for his account. PM reported this TM. And the conversation between Me and TM went like this.
TM : Km app is not working for PM, its not showing anything to him.
Me : Okay let me check...
I logged in with PM credential and checked the logs and i found that there was some error message saying that there was no data. I copy-pasted the error message to TM.
After few minutes (TM added dummy data to PM account)...
TM : Km app is working now, what was the issue for not working previously ?
Yes she asked me like this even though it was related backend issue.
Me : Its backend issue...!
TM : But I did'nt change anything at backend.
Me : Neither I, I did'nt build new APK and uploaded to Crashlytics Beta and he(PM) is not using new build.
I copy-pasted the previous error message again and asked her (TM)
Me : Why was this error message coming ?
TM : There was some wrong data for his account, So i added some dummy data.
Me : (FacePalm) How come its not called as change in Backend.
The worst part is TM still thinks it not a backend issue. -
If you've already upvoted on the first 3 rants of the refreshed algo page, then you should better go check mobile data usage 😂
-
Shittiest day of the year. 2018 is not gonna start well for me, lot of hustle until I get back on my feet3
-
Ex-manager keeps trying to boss me around. Not only that- he now tries to get fame for a project I’ve been doing for six months that he actively avoided managing...
-
Can anyone point me to some example of a .net project that doesn't scale because not using async await for IO?
I'm not sure how to measure impact of not doing this...3 -
Pgadmin4 error: could not connect to server
Tried to delete data from pgadmin folder but didn't worked for me2 -
I asked out IT guy to send me base URL for LDAP server, he send me quick reply with base URL of my application. Not sure he was being sarcastic or absolute dumb-arse
-
Damn it. This WiFi service in the train sucks. Not only they do block so dangerous stuff like Ubuntu packages but it is not even fast / reliable enough to give me stable SSH. NOT EVEN VIA FREAKING MOSH! We are talking UDP and couple of kbytes. Thankfully they let me pay for it after using up my generous 15 free minutes. Suckers.
-
Company had to do some layoffs here and there. Good I’m not affected. Still a Merry Christmas for me.2
-
If one of you pod people would like to pick me up and bone me before cloning me I’d be open to that as long as you recognize it’s not for some kind of awful pay
-
qemu-img keeps on reporting error:
Could not open 'some-qcow2-img': No such file or directory
Why you waste me 2 hours for troubleshooting instead of telling me it's the backing file that could not be found? -
Explain to me like I'm retarded why underscores are not desirable in a java class names besides, it's not the common convention.
Context:
FooBarLongClassName_OtherClassNameVisitor for a visitor class. This is the name of a class11 -
Watching the last episode of Dr Who season 10 made me sad. Not only for the writing but the storyline thus far.
-
Can anyone recommend me a good app to manage my schedule across the month? google calendars is not comfortable for me.7
-
When you are going to college and do more work and research on your own with Google then what was taught in class.4
-
Thanks sefuckalize-mock for not letting me insert 2 row,
Now Im replicating the whole sequelize module itself to stub shit for no reason idk fuck this why am I doing this for stupid unit testing -
!rant
I fuck my brain with thinking about a smart way for a hourly reservation system which does not look like shit... has anyoke an idea for me?1 -
Maybe I'm late to the game here, but I think the new "Reason for downvote" dialog is pretty wack. I downvote stuff I dislike or have seen before. I report stuff that's offensive...1
-
“I’m just a person who types things for 1/40th of my value - and that’s life and I have no control over it - so, don’t bother expecting me to be able to discuss it... leave me alone - I was happy just not thinking... “
- people who didn’t upvote my rants
Hahahah / but not haha. Really: super depressing for them... -
Fuck! I frkn hate supabase right now.
Row Level Security seems like a nice feature but it does not fckn work for me. -
OK, how come I have not heard if Eager.io before? You long it's taken for me to get some of these animations in?