Yo dawg, check out my fresh pimped homeoffice!

I have been a developer since I was 13 and this is the first time ever I feel complete :) Wish all of you even a better one than mine!

That feeling when you boot up your shiny new laptop for the first time and there's no fucking Cortana, online accounts or mandatory updates right out of the box.

Thank you Dell ❤️

Love how a teacher of mine described IO wait for CPUs on a blackboard.
"That's calculation time." *draws three small lines on the blackboard* And this is IO wait. *draws a really long line, goes out of the class, out of the school, comes back* "Yes, this is IO wait. No matter how good and fast your CPU in your gaming PC is, if your hard drive is shit, everything is shit."

Never let your computer know that you are in hurry. Computers can smell fear. They slow down if they know that you are running out of time.

recruiter:
I see you worked for 5 years at xyz and you used c# but your CV says you used other technologies like sql and you did testing.. So how much of your time was spent writing c#?

me:
Most of the time.. Maybe 60%.

recruiter:
Ok, let me work that out... ok I will put down that you have 3 years c# experience.

After joining devrant I spend twice the time sitting on the toilet which results in my right leg falling asleep and me trying to stumble my way out of the bathroom looking like a hideous creature of the night.

A moment of respect to people who willingly spend time to help out other people on sites such as StackOverflow

plot twist
linuxxx is some of the most advanced and efficient AI ever developed, and actually uses devrant to scope out security-aware devs and take them down 1 production server at a time

I wish my dad wouldn't bring up the cost of college to me.

Yes it costs me $12,000 to attend full time semester. Yes I'll be on $75,000 of debt by the time I graduate next year.

Why the fuck do you think older millennials aren't planning on buying homes, putting off marriage into their 30's let alone thinking about fucking kids.

It's not his fault, I love my parents. I just feel like they want me to pull a rabbit out of a hat when I'm already pushing full time work and soon full time classes.

I'm tired. 😔

Tomorrow I will be rolling out a completely brand new system company wide. Spent the last year working on it.

First time ever leading a project of this size and importance.

Wish me luck. 😫

I was assigned to be a mentor for the first time in my 23 years of existence. She was a junior.

Turned out she had more knowledge and coding experience than me. So I could not mentor her.

Just downloaded some big ass codebase and the first line i read is:

"// The source code is not well documented, but every advanced programmer will be able to understand it after some time."

Well... let's find out about your definition of "some time", Dickhead!

HR: Hi we got your application. We'd like to schedule a call. Can you fill this out to pick a time?

Me: Sure, sorry first I'd like to ask a question. You are based on the other side of the country and i'm not able to relocate. Are you open to remote workers? Your job spec didn't mention either way.

HR: GREAT question! At this moment no we are not. We need people here on site. If you'd like, we can have a call to discuss if you fill out the form.

Me: ..... take time out of my day so you can tell me "No" again? ..... i'm alright thanks

I have a huge problem.

I fell in love with a girl and I can't concentrate enough to code. I sit at my PC, open editor and start, but from time to time I find myself staring blindly into a screen realizing i lost some time thinking of her. Then I get back to work, but I start to write nonsense out of confusion. Today ive been trying to code from 10 am til 4 pm, but nothing. Ive literally done nothing today. Just lost time...

At this point it's pretty much a matter of time before the English language runs out of words and JS framework developers resort to random strings for naming them.

My boss caught me out the other day. He asked which browser do we test on. In our documentation it's ff chrome and ie10. In reality it's not ie.

I opened ie for the first time in a long time the other day to find a crap load of bugs. Including the attached.

Dude, for the hundredth time, stop leaving random chunks of commented out code all over the place in case we "need to find it easily later"...

This is literally the reason we use git.

No, I will not pass it in a code review. The same as last time. And the time before...

Dahhhhh

The hardest part of programming is not the inner workings of the chosen frameworks and tech.

It's the damn naming.

I will spend hours trying to figure out what to name things for sense and clarity and then a fraction of that time coding it together.

*me, staring out the window*

"Hey dude can you--"

"Ssshhh. I'm naming things."

You dumb, stupid fucking idiot.

Yes, that's me. Spent an hour debugging something, only to find out I wasn't paying attention when going through the API ref. Fucking fuck. Such a waste of time.

That damn moment when you find out ... that ticket you spend a lot of time doing, well, there is a library for that.

Some words of wisdom passed on by our Scrum.

1. I am responsible for setting boundaries. Work time, sleep time, family time, me time. If I don't set them properly, things WILL get unbalanced very quickly. (And I would add, burnout will follow closely).

2. Being productive isn't about doing more and more in less time. It's about doing only the most important things well, and either saying no to the other things, or finding another way to get them done. (Prioritize!)

3. I can't win (let alone run) a marathon by thinking of it as a 26 mile long sprint, or a week as a five day sprint. (Eat a digital elephant a byte at a time).

4. Loved ones are good judges of when things are in and out of balance.

5. Taking time off is essential. Vacations, yes, but also nights and weekends. (Or you WILL burn out and hate what you do).

Comments in () are mine.

Looking at code you wrote a long time ago and you can't figure out parts of it...leaves you like:" Damn I was a genius"

Tried drunk coding yesterday for the first time which seems like a rite of passage for us.

Short endeavor. Turns out I cannot type when drunk.

Humans generally distract the fuck out of me when I try to code. And when they leave me alone, Windows decides its a great fucking time to install its shitty updates.

Yes yes another arch Linux thing but holy shit, in just 2 days I've learnt so much!

First time adding a grub entry and it works straight out of the box :-D

It bugs the crap out of me that GitHub.com is not fully responsive.

Mobile?

Check

Desktop?

Check

Everything in between?

Nope nope nope

Also, if you want to waste a huge chunk of time, try to google if you can contribute to GitHub.com. 🙄

Story #1: So I took a month of parental leave. And was planning to extend it a little longer to deal with my final exams. I was planning to spend lots of quality time with my wife and newborn son. Little did I know... It turns out that out of 5 OoO weeks I was looking forward I actually had 3 at most. The rest I've spent working remotely as I was insisted to deploy a brand new and poorly tested feature to PROD 2 days before my paternity leave. So I spent 2 weeks debugging things in PROD. Remotely. Needless to say that did suck.

Story #2: After story #1 I've learnt my lesson. This summer I took 3 weeks annual leave to renovate my apartment. I asked to not to be disturbed unless there's an emergency. And an emergency it was. One of our app users had a planned hi-load batch job lasting for 2-3 months. Hundreds of thousands of items had to be created and processed. It turns out the _processing_ algo had some flaws and was acting out. I was called out and asked to assist. I knew this sort of debugging is going to take a lot of my time so this time I put my conditions on the table: I will assist but I'll extend my leave by 1.5 the time I spend working now. They took the deal. Instead of 3 weeks I had 5 weeks of vacation!

I don't care that much about my salary. I prefer to exchange it for my time off hence I didn't ask for compensations.

Bottom line: NEVER EVER underestimate or undersell your time and effort. You are a valuable asset and if the team/client needs you on your day off -- make it count. Your time off is YOUR time. Never forget it.

Fucking China!

The only time they ever come out of their pathetic walled internet is to attack your servers.

Fuck that country.

My study's logic every fucking time: (I'm a senior by the way)

Junior: Sir, could you help me out for a minute?

Teacher: I'm busy right now, please fill out the support request form and go ask one of the seniors (yeah, not even kidding)

Junior: Alright, hey dude, could you help me out maybe?

Me: yeah of course, just get your laptop and go sit here next to me!

Other Teacher: Hey you, leave the seniors alone, they've got their own work!

I miss the days I actually enjoyed playing games.

6 years of programming later...

I'm always wondering how did they make the game? Once I find out how, I lose interest in the game.

I spend more time reverse engineering/exploiting/modifying the Client of games than actually playing them, more out of curiosity than causing harm.

Am I evil? 😫

Company: *Doesn’t even send out rejection letters to applicants after wasting weeks/months of their time with their bogus interview process.*

Good employee at said company: *gets new job and ghosts company*

Company:

When every time your coworker start a new project, they just use the template out of the box including the sass, less and other unused dependencies eventhough they don’t use it

Me as Junior Dev doing mysql first time, specifically INSERT test data to test db, sucess on first try.

My Senior co-worker says: WOW, Baby's first INSERT...... that sounds so wrong out of context xD

Okay, just wrote a program with memory allocation inside an accidental infinite loop and by the time I was able to kill it, it had already claimed 86% of my memory. Scared the shit out of me because my OS was CRAWLING for a while

I just wanted to say that wk61 came just at the right point in time ^^

My school threw me out a couple of days ago and now I have nothing, so I'm thankful for all of you who're giving advice for job hunting

You guys are awesome! :)

// I ran out of time so good luck

When you have 143 opened tabs and you feel like they are sucking the life out of you. Time to get some Oxygen !

As a student I was looking for part time jobs, one of the job postings was titled "Database assistant". When I looked at the job description, its about filling out excel sheets -_-

*boss spends £30000 pounds on an outside team to do, essentially, nothing* "You developers just don't understand business, we need to get products out the door not waste time building them properly. You're wasting company resources, we're out of money and it's your fault". Cool....

The joy of using Kotlin instead of Java :')
Though if I'm not mistaken they produce almost same out put :\ but writing kotlin is just time saving IMO

Xmas party, held at an external location. After some drinks, a co-worker whom I was friends with started flirting up one of the waitresses. Now, he was tall, well-trained, and quite attractive for women. It was just that he also was married and had a child.

I quietly sought out that waitress and told her about that, asking her to turn him down because nothing good would come out of that. She appreciated it and stayed out of his way.

Felt kind of back-stabbing him, but at the same time, also saving his ass from himself.

just found out that one of my users replies to himself with blank email with a subject "checked" every time he checks his emails... and then he ticks it as "completed"... He has created chains with hundreds of replies long crashing his brand new xps15 every time he clicks on the chain...

When the boss believes that adding more devs to a project in the last week of a three month stint will "get it out the door faster".

Because baking that cake at twice the temperature for half the time worked so well last time, we'll do it while the oven is rolling down a cliff.

Someone will have a hard time taking this non-existant tram out of service, and probably even harder to make the insurance company pay for nothing... oh well.

I got two lines of code done today, and they were just changing numeric defines. Time to do that: 2 seconds.

Time for analysing the measurement data of various runs in order to know which numbers will work out: the rest of the day.

Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.

One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.

Holy cow! it's been a while since the last time I was here! On the great side, I left my toxic old job! If your manager gaslight you, then get out of there!

While compiling LLVM, you have enough time to go get a beer.
Out of the fridge.
From the supermarket.
Two town's over.

I feel like a man out of time and space.
I can work from anywhere so I am nowhere.
I work all the time, and I have no time to work.
Hours, days, and weeks. They all feel the same. The gentle barrier of sleep that denotes when one day ends and another begins is barely remembered if observed at all.

What the fuck did I sign up for.

Dear Boss

Would you.
Fucking.
PLEASE.
Stop.
Moving.
The Standup.
Time.

You've fucked around with the meeting time eight times since the end of Jan. Figure your schedule out, pick a time for our daily shit, and stick to it dude. PLEASE.

I'm a family man and you're making my mornings absolute hell to plan for.

Signed,

me.

The feeling of sitting through an hour debrief after a project was delayed due to added functuonality which fell completely out of the original scope was added and the PM on the project is sitting on fb with their phone the entire time.

I researched a bunch of really beefy computer parts yesterday and the total for the PC came out to be just $2,500 INCLUDING $500 in monitors (HD 144HZ 27')

I genuinely thought this build would be upwards of $4,000

Time to max out the old credit card

Fuck it. It's Friday EOD.

Enough is enough.

It's time to close my lappy and go for a nice long stroll, get all those work thoughts out of my RAM and get ready for two whole days of slacking!!!!

See you next week, suckers!

Wasting so much time on gaming instead of learning software development when I was just starting out

Microsoft Azure down on a Friday at home time? Whoever tripped over that cable is probably trying awfully hard to slink out of the building unnoticed right about now

We spent 80% of development time implementing a feature requested by a client. Client for no reason says "the feature is no longer needed take it out ". Am so fucking furious now. Such a waist of time

We're digital plumbers.

90% of this job is figuring out what thing to connect to what thing and then figuring out how to connect them.

Writing the code that goes in-between both ends of the pipe is easy if not trivial 90% of the time.

Meaningful change in this industry is centered around endpoints: contracts, deployments, etc. Nobody needs yet another way to organize and import their leftpad().

Who's got time to be an imposter. 🤷‍♂️

I am out of my depth 90% of the time, always diving into areas that are foreign to me, you just need to enjoy the buzz of knowing you are coming out the other side more knowledgeable then you did going in.

But if you do get overwhelmed with this condition, step back, take a breather, and use that moment to think things through at the big picture level before moving forward again, sometimes the right solution is hard to think off when you're to focused and drowning your way through a bad one.

Definitely a blackboard or whiteboard. Definitely helps in the modularity of my code. I love it when I spend 90% of my time drawing out my idea on a blackboard, implementing it and having it be super modular.

Just wasted a ton of time trying to figure out why my circuit wouldnt work properly and then noticed...

If you're angry at someone not figuring out your code because it was “obvious”, remember:

even before 9/11 happened, emergency lines found out they should say “nine-one-one” instead of “nine-eleven”. Why? Because panicking people were looking for “eleven” button on the keypad. They learned it the hard way.

No one is rational 100% of the time.

Holy shit. I'm actually vibrating after watching the FH launch. Seeing the two falcon 9s landing at the same time looks straight out of a sci-fi movie :P

Also, I wonder what happened to the core 🤔

fuck.
I think when you need 20 minutes to figure out that you tried to use (0) to acces array values instead of [0] in Java it is time to go to bed.

Automatic email for time after 19 clock:
if (sender == MyBoss)
{
Mail.Respond("Get the hell out of my personal life, you have to wait for tomorrow you bastard.\n
Best regards.")
}

for the final fucking time

i'm the one who did the 8 hour garbage take home challenge and submitted it

i shouldn't be the one who has to reach out two weeks later to figure out what the status of my application is

oh and you ignore me on whatsapp

fuck you

Well. I'm running out of money. Time to get new clients. Merry Christmas everyone.

Have you ever spent a lot of time trying to fix something and then at the end of the day you find out it was all because of a typo?

Those are days from hell 👹

Trying out devRantron for the first time...damn this feels good. Thanks @Tahnik @Dacexi @SirWinfield @PhantomBKB and any other contributors of this delightful application!

My computer is so out of date at this point, I measure compile time by the amount of times I can spin around on my chair, I'm at 48, if I get to 50 I think something magic might happen.

So... after a vision test on a whim, it turned out I needed glasses.

Turns out sitting in front of a screen all day did actually mess my eyes up 😂

Luckily I only need them for using the computer for extended periods of time, so managed to run them through my company as an expense.

I haven't opened my laptop all day for the first time in 2.5 months. Feels damn good. Got some good laughs today out of devrant; thanks everyone.

3 weeks into a new job I learned that my predecessor (who resigned and was out the door two days after I started) didn’t know how to secure s3 buckets when all of our production image assets got replaced with elder porn.

Jury’s still out if it was actually him the whole time.

It amazes me how quickly give out their passwords. I ask for a person's user name and I swear at least 75% of the time they give me their password too!

Damn it gitpush focus when type the damn password!! I locked my self out of my server again 😭

Time to visit the portal and login 😒

Read all questions before starting the test......

#3 is just SimpleDateFormat with some text cleaning.... Easy

#2 was the hardest....

I ran out of time... should've given up on #2 earlier....

Best: dropping out of college
Worst: probably the same

Time will tell.

Had to modify, but phone case is looking good.

(Took embarrassingly long time to figure out how to take photo of phone case, ala, just take phone out of case.)😅

There's nothing that I hate more than UML diagrams. Shit is so out dated and I have yet to talk to a company thats even heard of it let alone use it. Biggest waste of time and money in the world

The hard part of participating in an open source project is finding out how to build it for the first time.

Definetly signing in and out of my companies time tracking system.
It only works in internet explorer 8 and is a real pain -.-

So Chrome 63 automatically forces https to anyone working with a domain name finishing with ".dev". Thank you a lot, I was planning on loosing 4 hours of my time figuring this out.

The first time I took Andrew Ng's Machine learning course in 2014.

I was blown out of my wits at what could be achieved with simple algebra and calculus.

Not only coding, but studying Computer Science has changed a lot in my life. For example, learning about CPU scheduling algorithms made me manage time for my personal tasks a lot better. Earlier I used to waste a lot of time by doing tasks in out of sync order. Also coding made me realize how dumb most people are!

When I get mad I purposefully just throw css at the bottom of the last css file references and declare everything with !important.

Sorry future self..figure it out next time.

I remember a time during my internship in the field of web dev, my Bootstrap didn't seem to work, and since I was quite a beginner, I was having a painful time figuring out the bug.

Turns out, one of my seniors had purposely changed the CDN URL from bootstrap to bootystrap :|

He said, "and that's why in web dev, when nothing works, start by checking your imports"

Lesson Learnt xD

ITT graduate in 2005. I think I'm the only student in my class that actually got a career out of it.

This has been a long time coming.

SHIT. Power cut, don't know yet how much code lost, train of thought destroyed. 2 hours to wait to find out. Time for a 4g wank methinks.

The latest Ubuntu 17.10 patch let's VMware run out of the box!

Woo!!!!
Finnaly time to migrate! :-D

Anybody remember when we actually spent time writing code instead of debugging the tools? Specially the gazillion of crap that's out there for fucking Java shit?

Android studio is a PATHETIC excuse of an IDE!! And managing a constraint layout inside a scroll view is worse than having my nails pulled out while a bamboo is growing into my spine at record time! Screw this piece of shit IDE!! I suck at front end bad enough to have to deal with its buggy frontend IDE!! Aaaah!!!! - pulls lumps of hair out-

This was a long time ago, when I was an 18 year old junior dev in my first job and still studying at college part of the time.

The lead programmer saying things like “we [meaning the experienced devs] are alright if this project goes wrong but you need to prove that you can deliver because you could be out of a job”.
Thanks. Mofo set me right up for lasting confidence issues.

Less than two years later I was killing it when the language they used became object oriented. That asshole couldn’t understand any of the concepts.
That feeing of being out of my depth has lingered though.

Reloaded a page every time something updated @ my Backend instead of doc manipulation.

Please don't kick me out of devRant

Turns out deleting a git branch also deletes your unchanged changes fuckkkkk

Well as good a time as any to learn how to use 'git fsck' and manually sort through hundreds of dangling blobs

FML

First rant! I hate being OnCall. I'm just out of college, give me some time to ramp up without these panic attacks.

Found out new senior used to work at one of the same places I used to work but a while before my time. So I guess that's what happened to his hair

I'm a developer, but also a father of 2 kids. I love spending time with them, but sometimes I also like to work on my side projects. And besides that, after a long day of work, even if I have spare time, I also like to lay down on the couch and watch Netflix.

How do you other full time developer / parents out there cope with your own personal projects?

It's a matter of time because recruiters will find out about devrant.

Took the weekend to finish my phase out of Windows on my desktop and laptop.

Finally going Linux full time!

Goodbye constant forced reboots, awful updates, and lost files!

debug hell

senior: i'm going to read the code changes of the PR that caused this bug, many files , lots of lines of code to see if i can suss out this issue

me: skimmed the PR, i give up, unga bunga time, time to compare the variables in the debugger between the different implementations, found the difference

due credit, the unga bunga approach worked this time, might nto always work

It took me a long time to admit, but I think I'm finally ready to out myself: I kinda love JavaScript.

Seriously, if you avoid classes in favor of Object.create and if you make use of lambdas instead of bind/apply/call whenever possible, it might successfully give you the illusion of a clean language.

I finish sentences with semicolons.

I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.

I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.

And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work.

I just found out you can commit single lines of a file without the necessity to remove temporarily debug lines every time ... it has blown my mind.

Fake sticker story time. It is fucking on fire. Then I press npm install twice. Forgot node modules in gitignore. Then got push to production served by Jenkins. Now get the fuck out of here.

Mobile (Android/iOS) gaming has such potential but publishers keep pushing out mindless garbage. What's the point of getting a gaming phone only to spend your time playing gatcha games?

"Programming is like magic!"... Magic that doesn’t work some of the time and laughs in your face while you try to find out why.

I don't understand why someone who's totally sane and careful could forget to turn off MySQL general log over Christmas vacation. Of course Disk out of space caused us down time :/

If you're stuck with something and just cannot figure out where the issue is in your code, there is nothing that helps you more than talking the problem out with someone.

Most of the time you'll end up figuring out the solution yourself while describing the problem to him/her. =)

Got a Yubikey today. Seems like a really cool bit of kit. Time to nerd out and 2FA all the things.

Waiting to find out results of interview. Dying. I need a change so bad.

Can't stop thinking about questions I wish I would've answered better but I have skin crawling anxiety during interviews and I haven't had one in a loooong time 😭😫 fucking fuck shit fuck universe help me out.

Don't forget to give the developers the opportunity to innovate. Nobody wants to sit and type out the same structures day after day. That's not why we got into this job. We like solving problems. In my current team we set aside some time every sprint to spend on individual innovation. Super useful as it gives us the chance to break out from the standard chugging of the backlog and spend some time trying to solve some of the trickier problems and bringing improvements back to the product that we discovered by messing around with stuff. If you are reading this and you are in charge of a development team, try this out for a sprint or 2.

Being a team lead is watching your members grow more and more while you stay out of date because you don’t have any more time to read and learn what’s new

Went up to a booth of some small company with nobody in line and they rejected me flat out because I hadn't had a previous internship. they laid out their requirements (which were higher than Microsoft's I might add) and then said they still wanted to keep my resume. i told them that their requests were ridiculous, then grabbed my resume out of their hands and told them I'd give it to somebody worth my time

"Specs are out of date at time of writing. Basic premise of how this works: {link}"

and link goes to a 404

Fuck...
I'm not getting that job then.

So I just had one of those interview coding tests on hacker rank and screwed it up big time.

I'm a C# guy and it was a Java position. I worked with Java, like 10 years ago, and they're pretty similar so I brushed up over the last week when I had free time.

Absolutely blew it. It's not like it was hard, I just got into one question (of 6) and it ate up all of my time. The task was simple, make a JSON call, read the data, check if you need more calls, pull out a data field from all the concatenated results and return it in a sorted list. ONE HOUR it took me. A combination of not knowing the API well enough, simple syntax errors and relatively slow compilation.

Godammit.

The next question was implement an Object hierarchy but since I'd run out of time, all I got was the class declarations before the timer ran out.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

I guess the test did it's job and weeded out someone who can't contribute to the team...

Being on vacation and getting calls from the office.. The whole point of vacation is getting away from everything for a little while to recharge.

That's fine, I'm billing that time.. just wish they could figure some of this shit out on their own.

"If it were easy to nut out tricky design problems, I might be out of a job. But it’s also true that the cleverness in most lateral design doesn’t come from blindly grinding away at the same concept. When you’re dealing with ideas, it’s rarely a matter of simply putting in more time working. Five minutes can be much more fruitful than five hours." - Rob Morris

n-

N A N I ? ? ? ? ?

my dad just upgraded our phone plan from like 100 miles away out of nowhere.

turns out with some weird discount it's only $20 more for unlimited than our old holdover-from-2012 plan of "8GB pool for all lines, but the last 4GB is 3G speeds"

shit

time to start theorycrafting a way to get around the "one device streaming at a time" limit

Today I submitted my code without making sure it doesn't have any bugs because I was running out of time. Fuck.

Let's hope I'm brilliant and this works out.

A global pandemic - it's the time of the year when you can legally enter Bank premises wearing a mask w/o drawing any attention.

It's the time of the year when every crime is carried out by "criminals wearing a mask"

The time at university I was kind of burned out all the time.
I was far away from being a hard-working student, I needed more than double time to finish, but I constantly had a feeling of being stressed.
My free time never felt like free time because I thought I should learn/do something for the university.
Now at work, I can spend my free time without feeling guilty. Sure, I also have to think about problems at work sometime and I still should learn something to get better, but now I can focus on stuff I'm really interested in.

Nothing better than walking out of the examination classroom, opening up your phone and being flooded with emails and messages about production servers being down

It's that time of the week again

Luckily, now that everything is in place everything is 100% automated with ci/cd 😎

When you find out all of your new fellow web devs are all from boot camps, and you spend more time teaching them than getting your work done. New job time maybe?

Couple of SQL databases walked into a "noSQL" bar.
But after some time they walk out...

As they couldn't find a Table... :)

Get the fuck out of my way!!! I don't need autocomplete. I just want to type - and also see what is in the console - at the same time.

So annoying when you get 80% of the way through a project then figure out a more elegant way of solving it, but can't change it now because of time constraints

Why tf people still use anything that is not UTF-8?? I could understand if you are from a language with most of its chars out of the first byte, but still, it is increadible the amount of things encoded using latin-1 and similar others... It is time to STOP!

Every time I go home I have to switch all my passwords, because my little brother watches me type them and memorize them. Every damn time. I'm running out of passwords.

The first time I saw "Real Feel" or "Feels Like" on the weather app, I thought that number was calculated by someone going out of their home every hour or so and reporting what it feels like outside. I thought this would be a perfect job for someone who spends a lot of time at home...

Fuck timesheet
It's bad enough someone fucking disturb you in the middle of great thoughts. What's worse, you're QUESTIONED where the fuck your time was spent. So you need to work out how much time you have been disturbed, and put in the fucking timesheet!
What a fucking joke! As if we have too much time for meaningful stuff.

This project is taking my soul out of me...

Every time I have to change something that has been changed countless times in the past 9 months and every time I see the clusterfuck it is becoming I literally feel my energy being sucked away.

Thank god I'm being interviewed by other companies already...

"The next time you’re caught in a room full of smart people doing something dumb (like trying to anticipate what your users will do), tune them out, flip open your laptop, and start prototyping." - Daniel Burka

git add . && git commit -m "Because we're constantly interrupted and because we are not given enough time to do things properly, I need to check in and out of branches all the time (because separate envs are actually separate branches now) and have to interrupt what I'm doing. So this commit message reflects that."

Been trying out WebStorm for my html and js instead of my coding in my usual vim setup today. I think I may have converted. Only time will tell.

Spent nearly 6 hours trying to figure out why my app wasn't reading anything after the first line of my database.....turns out I was calling the wrong method....

this isn't the first time i've done that

How to decide between staying in for projects and coding or going out for movies, meetups etc?! HOW?
When is it wasting time, and when is it necessary level of socializing?

We rant while we hit obstacles in life/dev jobs..
Just one flu/food poisoning makes us realize we are so vulnerable at time.
We can't code our way out of that...

Whenever network issue is encountered,
Step 1:
Reset the router.
It fix the problem half of the time.
Step 2:
Take out the eth cable and plug it in your network admin ass.

Shit, 24 hours is not enough for me to code and get 3 hours sleep !

How much is your max up-time on raspberry pi?
Can it survive being on all the time? The board seems not made out of premium stuff

Every time a Segmentation fault is occuring because of a forgotten "return" or "break" I lose one week of life. Almost out of life right here.

Started my PhD today. I feel so out of my depth, but so happy to be challenged at the same time. It's a weird combination.

I haven't done any front end stuff in a long time (last time was before jQuery was popular), and since I had some free time lately I decided to check out React and see what it's all about. Turns out that first I had to go trough one week of reading about node.js, npm, jsx, es6/es2015, babel, webpack (and probably something else), but I finally got to React. So far I had no problems with any of this but I have no fucking idea how most of this stuff works behind the curtains and I'm scared.

You know it's one of those days when you're scouring through vendor code in order to figure out why your code isn't working

Time to get some coffee

So I am new to coding — excited to be learning but terrified to get out and find some sort of job when that time comes.

Managers, the more time you require of devs to fill out forms and such, the less time they have to devote to the tasks they're assigned.. please keep this in mind.

Just out of curiosity...

How much of your daily work time do you actually work? :D

Just found out my company's API for the payment took 15 seconds to respond. WTF? Personally I have done countless of these kinds of API , but this is my fifth time witnessing bad code.

My server is taking 7 minutes to boot with an ssd 🤔...

Time to systemctl blame the shit out of the system and figure out what config I messed up!

I'm so bad about keeping track of my time, that I just use `git reflog --date=iso` to figure out when I was working and not working 😂

Was looking forward to a nice day of programming, finally had some free time to spend

No power today, fml :(
My laptop is now out of power

Don't even say your initial time estimate/guess out loud. It will probably become your deadline, and you probably assumed that most things would take a reasonable amout of time.

Bonus: Try to get onto projects that you think you can get interested in. Once on a project try to keep interested in it's success.

So it turns out that a lot of writes to S3 is slow, regardless of whether you spent the time to rewrite your code from SAX to JAXB, then Go, then finally C++, thinking the problem was always with your code.

- participate in more exciting projects
- be more mindful about the time and mental resources I put in my projects
- find out what kind of dev I want to be

Java teacher who quite literally wrote the textbook on Java couldn't figure out how to use Eclipse, so he resorted back to JGrasp after an hour of class time spent trying to compile

I'm just walking out of a physics and programming final and the end of the semester. Imagine my joy knowing I'll have a whole month of extra time to work on personal dev stuff.

boss: numbers being aside. Why is this happening 40% of the time.

me: (thinking) wtf what an idiot. wtf do you think?!

type: (politely) Well the number being wrong suggests it's *not* happening 40% of the time.

I don't know who I hate more, myself for not point out how dumb that question is. or the person asking the question.

Ffs, idiot comes to my PR, that didn’t have anything to do with him (he’s not even part of the team) trying to lecture me without bothering to understand the changes and the context.

I wish I could have replied “next time, I’d recommend you to take your head out of your ass first, and read the goddamn code. It will be a better use of your time than writing this nonsense.”

I did it! I've finally figured it out!

I've always had this feeling that AvatarOfKaine reminds me of someone. Todaybit finally hit me - O know who it is!

It's mr. Heckles. Always out of context, talks about hell knows what and every time he says smth the only sensible phrase that wants to come out of your mouth is ".... Anyway...."

Had Arduino for months, couldn't get MPU6050 working, because of a lack of time and other stuff. (Need it for long term college project, data logging blah blah)
Gave it to project teammate to figure it out, who hates even touching hardware, BTW.

He figures it out in an hour (adjusting baud rate for supply voltage)
I feel like a complete idiot.
🙁

Famous quote time! I forget who said it, and the number varies a bit from one retelling to the next, but one that has always stuck in my mind since I heard it is the following:

“I’d fire any programmer who spends more than [10 | 25]% of his time coding.”

I’ve always taken this as an admonition to spend time charting out solutions before building, instead of churning out stream of consciousness spaghetti code, personally.

Any thoughts from the broader community on the topic?

Hopefully we will leave the path of shipping tons of crappy software in increasingly shorter periods of time and come back to thought out, well engineered software that actually matters. I would love that.

I have to get this out of my chest.

Nanos, you seem a cool person but I have no goddamn fucking idea what you're saying most of the time.

My worst habit(?) is probably loving to "waste" time, making api uri builders.
so I can chain a couple of methods instead of just typing out an uri :p

Every fucking time I start win10, I need to make sure I have task manager running on the side. Otherwise some sort of random windows process starts spirilling out of control and needs to be killed. Fucking hate windows.

Start at the scheduled time. Don't, "give everybody a little time to join." You're just enabling shit behavior.

Never, ever ask, "who just joined?" when the join tone sounds on the call. If you need someone on the call, invite them, and address them directly by name. If you need to take roll, then call out names, one at a time. But don't do that either. Just do your meeting.

A meeting has a direct cost of the lost time of everyone on the call. Artificial delays for small talk or petty admin are a total waste of time and money. Keep it simple, on task, and as fast as possible.

If a minor unimportant thing comes to our time from a very far future, is it able to cause a time paradox?

Like a single grain of sand. Not carrying a deadly pathogen that will wipe out the entire humanity, just a regular grain of sand.

Will it cause a time paradox? Is anything that comes to our time from the future guaranteed to cause a time paradox? If so, why?

I've just heard from the business person that we are giving high estimates on the projects delivery time out of spite. Are you fucking kidding me. All of that just because they wrote Hello World and they think they now better how much time it will take.

> Blue Prism just stopped working

And that's how 12 time-critical processes in production just went out of the window for no fucking reason other than the sheer malice of those beasts of burden who designed BP in the first place :)

0 days since last catastrophic blue prism crash

But why can’t Android Studio work out of the box?
I want to develop, Not mixture with gradle and stuff...
Time for a Power Nap.

I have been writing c++ for a long time and I have gotten away with using my own buildscripts and nothing more.

Just started using cmake for a library. What the absolute fuck is this. I have never felt this out of depth in a long time.

5 minutes till I go home. And server breaks... Out of space and a bunch of the automation tools have thus done harm. I'm no DevOps. But I just want to go home but have to sort it out.

The JavaScript community should invent the word "outd" to use instead of "outdated" just to make sure they give forewarning about frameworks and tools going out of fashion, because by the time they spell the full word it's already too late and a post-mortem announcement.

Viva Insights is the worst malware from Microsoft so far. Spent a good two hours finding out how to get rid of events called "Tid för fokusering" (time for focus) that kept popping up in the Outlook Calendar, just to find out that you don't configure that shit in Outlook anymore, but in Teams. Go figure.

That moment where you're scared for you job because one of your merges seemingly broke the builds for the 2nd time in a week, had HR reach out, a more senior developer take over the ticket after it gets sent back from testing twice ONLY TO FIND OUT LATER IT WAS ANOTHER PERSONS TICKET THAT WAS CAUSING THE ISSUE

What a time to be alive... when one gets so lazy that one orders freaking Burger King or McDonalds as a delivery service... daymn...
yep. I'm gulty. Had to try it out. Totally in the name of science.

RAT. HOLE. FUCK.

The retrospective is not the time to develop features and designs. We have burnt 45 minutes of an already ludicrously long retro ( 3 hours ).

Too much coffee + this horse fucking shit is geeking me out.

I found out the importance of time complexity. It might not seem like a big difference between O(1) and O(2). But there's a big difference hardcoding 500 lines and 1000 lines of data.

I made a navigation app for school using dijkstra's algo. However it had no data available so I had to hardcode it. Long story short, there was a ton of hardcoding. Always try to improve the time complexity of the code you write.

So are we living in the time where new programmer are no longer care know how to code effective and clean code because of libraries out there OVERSIMPLIFIED it?

That moment when your co-worker merges his branch and removes all of the work you have done for the last 7 hours, two minutes before clock out time...

I just recalled that time I somehow got trapped in a bash shell and went on stack overflow and asked if someone could help me get out of bash...

Spent sometime looking for questions to answer on StackOverflow for the first time in around 2 years... Mother of God the questions have gotten even worse - and there's even more of them.

Quickly decided to leave it for another time, with the level of stupidity out there I kinda get why almost all the regulars have become assholes.

Normal people spend their holiday weekend with friends and family. I spent it bisecting RetroArch to figure out exactly when a Wii U crash bug started happening.

(I exaggerate. There was plenty of friends and family time)

My time sheet software has this beaut of a message always catches me out...

I hate having a project to go on with but not being able to :(

For example: I have a project that I want to work on, but I'm currently fixing HDDs and I can't use my computer (which is a backup, therefore quite slow). And I can't stop the HDD recovery process unless I want to start again later.

PS: Am I the only one who deletes his most recent rant when he thinks he has something better to say, and the cooldown is still not over?

My PM locked himself out of the house the other day. Oh how I laughed... I'm typing this whilst being locked out of my house...

Making use of the time with android programming apps - they are terrible.

oh shitty shit of all shits in the world

I just run out of time on a crossover test of Android Architect because of a stupid call by a stupid old friend.

The test were a bit difficult but I did something really good, and I was on the step 4/5.

Idk who tosensei and sid keep having fights with, but get the fuck out of here.

I'm tired of seeing your drama (+ new accounts and bitching) in my feed all the time.

Y'all some grown ass bitches, so grow up ffs.

I would hack the heck out of Roslyn Analyzers! Everything that could be f*ckin detected at compile-time _would_ be f*cking detected at compile-time. All those freaking config files usages, or attributes/reflection. Analyzers for everything, with sensible error messages! (Although I realize I that's overstretching the concept of unlimited time)

I’m so over software engineers asking me questions when they’re more than capable of figuring things out themselves. Why do you rely on me so much for answers. Half the time I don’t even know the answer and what you’re really asking is for me to go and do the hard yakka to figure it out! Fuuuuuuuuckkkk

Did you ever think time estimations are hard? If so, did you ever try adding your actual taken time months after working on a ticket?

Got another phone interview tomorrow. This time with the manager of the department id be in. Tonight I finalize my more technical questions about the position and general ones about the environment of his department

Hopefully it goes well and I'm out of my current job in a couple of weeks

Just started a simulation of the effects of social distancing, havent done behaviour modelin in a looong time so my skills are pretty rusty. Other than that im mostly drawing, i cant just code all day if i dont want to burn out.

Anybody know about a good open source speech to text engine?

I googled but there are tons of them and I don't have much time right now to try each them of out

What I actually want is just to convert the audio (in English) to text and would also want to note the time those sentences were spoke in the audio like a subtitle file.

1. Finding what I really am
2. Time out for Travel out of country from work
3. Buy own Car
4. Marriage 😜

I think I was having an allergic reaction today and got scared out of it when I remembered the last time it happened.

One time, i would put a random stacktrace / error log containing fake server credentials/ card info etc on a page/ action letting those "hackers" waste their time digging into it.. only to found out that the server is just a repo of (i would like to say porn butthats still a win situation) useless things

How can I completely block out unwanted calls and separate the good ones from the bad ones as I have a lot of issues with various topics at this time