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Hurry up before sale ends. Now you can get Samsung internet Browser at a discount space for just 45.92 MB instead of 61.55 MB

Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.

Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>

I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.

An interesting paradox

"When your computer overheats, why does it freeze..."

>>Be me
>>Looks at laptop once
>>Gets 4 emails about the same fucking one

>>Be me
>>Looks at shoes once
>>Gets 3 emails and one notification from the app about a sale on shoes

>>Be me
>>Buy a mechanical keyboard
>>Gets 4 emails and 3 notifications from the app about a sale on keyboards.

Ok Amazon calm the fuck down bud.

Don't know if this has been post yet before but ohhh well

Sales Guy: Hey Man, you know what? you should go back to college and advance your knowledge in Software Engineering. This way you will be an expert in programming and handling the Servers.
Me: I started programming at the age of 17 and started handling servers by the age of 18. Can I ask you something if you don't mind?
Sale Guy: Yea sure I don't mind anything
Me: Get the fuck out of here

I. FUCKING. HATE. MOBILE. DEVELOPMENT.

I already manage the data, devops, infra, and most of the backend dev.

We had a mobile guy. He was great. I never had to think about it and kept moving quickly on my work. #SpecializationOfLaborFTW

He left. Why? Because they wouldn't give him a small raise despite being one of the best mobile engineers in the firm. WTF.

I made the mistake of picking up just enough slack on this workflow in the interim such that I'm, apparently, the fucking god-damned release manager, fixer of pipelines, fixer of build configs, fixer of anything where someone just needs to RTFM for a half-hour to not fucking break things.

Now, 8 months later...and, apparently, Fortune 500 companies are too fucking god-damned cheap to pay for someone who actually knows WTF they're doing for a very reasonable thing to have at least one dedicated set of eyes for.

I never wanted to be a mobile dev.
I never will want to be a mobile dev.
And I certainly don't want to manage your HALF-FACE-FUCKED detached expo configs.

There's a reason I never intentionally involved myself in mobile. All the way down, it's just shitty cross-compilation, transpilation, dependency-hell, brittle-as-fuck build processes so we can foot-gun and mouth-gun react-native and expo and babel and whatever the fuck else cargo-culted horseshit into the wild.

And why? What's the actual fucking root cause? The biggest white elephant that ever fucking elephant-ed? It's because Apple and Google decided to never collaborate on a truly-native cross-platform SDK--where engineers could write native code that compiles to native binaries that's simply write-once, run-everywhere. They know they could have done that, and they didn't. So what'd they get back? Expo--a too-cleverly-designed backdoor/hack--more-or-less a way to circumvent the sane release process software has usually followed: code -> executable -> deploy. Or code -> deploy (for interpreted langs). Expo's like "keep your same executable, we're just gonna to do updates by injecting new code into it whenever we want". Didn't we learn anything with web? Shit gets messy real quick? Not to mention: HEY EXPO, WE WERE ALREADY BUILDING NATIVE APPS, YOU SHORT-SIGHTED FUCKS. THANKS FOR LURING OUR CTOs INTO FORCING EXPO DOWN OUR THROATS W/ THE IMPLICIT (BUT INCORRECT) TOO-GOOD-TO-BE-TRUE PROMISE THAT WE CAN HAVE WRITE-ONCE, RUN-ANYWHERE WITHOUT ANY BUY-IN OR COOPERATION FROM THE ACTUAL TARGET PLATFORMS.

And, we just, like, accept this? We all know it's garbage engineering. The principles we learned in the classroom aren't just academic abstractions--they actually yield real-world results--and eschewing them yields real-world failures. Expo is tightly-coupled to high-heaven, with leaky abstractions six-ways-to-christmas, chock-full of foot-guns, and fails the most basic test of quality: does it, "just work?"

Expo is fucking shameful and it should fucking die. Its promises are too bold, its land-mines too many, its future-proof-ness is alway, always, always questionable as fuck and a risk to every project that uses it.

You want a rant? This is my fucking venue, 'tis not? Well, then this is a piss and vinegar rant straight from my blood-red, beating fucking heart:

EXPO FUCKING SUCKS. AND IF YOU'RE A FAN, YOU FUCKING SUCK TOO.

If you think you know the most idiot person in the world, you haven't met my brother.

His brain absolutely can't comprehend anything!

He forgot his Roblox password and told me to do something. I said I can't do anything about it. Then he yelled at the top of his lungs saying, "you don't know technology! You're too stupid and selfish. Fix it!"

I said I can't do anything about it. He throws the mouse at me and says, "I never get to have fun. You ruin my life!"

He's not a little kid btw. He's fucking 14.

Today my mom forgot to pay the wifi password, and she thinks its better not to pay it today so it can stop my brother from playing games. (He plays it from morning to night. No homework, no cleaning, no nothing. Just games all day.)

So he told me to fix it. I said I cant. There's nothing I can do. Then he punches my arm really hard. (He's taller and stronger than me so it really hurt) then he threw a shoe and said, "you're useless and stupid! You have your laptop so you can have fun but I never get to have fun. You ruin my life, and I hate you. I hate my life."

Then he ran to mess up my room by tossing things from the self, removing clothes from my closet, and messed up my bed. He pushed my sister, pulled my hair, and ran to his room, slamming the door.

Please. Please someone give him a brain! He desperately needs one. I said I can't fix it, and that my mom has to pay the WiFi bill, but he thinks I'm being mean.

He has the mind of a 5 year old. Dropping to the ground crying.

My wife = Best wife

Her: Is that the motherboard and CPU you wanted?

Me: Yes, you get alot of power for the money (Ryzen 7 1800)

Her: Alright, you should order thoose things next week if they are not on sale this friday

Dear Steam,

Is it possible to send ONE FUCKING E-MAIL for the "items on my wish list that are on sale", instead of sending 4738258382 EMAILS FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE LIKE COMPLETE FUCKING MORONS?!?!

Expert Beginner

Customer: why 1 router cost so much? I can buy 3 normal routers with that.

Me: this has security features and functions that 3 of those routers put together combined could not do. Then you will still need to buy firewall for security. Why have more devices and have more possible points of failure when u can have 1?

Customer *keeps quiet*

Me: numbers is not important. Having 5 normal parachutes during skydiving doesnt guarantee u better safety than 1 good reliable parachute.

My company earned $700 profit for that sale today. 😂

One of the linux engineers gets up with: 'I'm sorry, I just pushed a windows server sale to the sales guy :/'

Linux engineer 1: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE D:
Linux engineer 2: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT @_@
Linux engineer 3: Why the FUCK would we want to manage yet another piece of problems?!

Engineer who said it: 'But it's still a sale guys....'

All engineers: THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE O_o

😆

Here it comes, guys! :D

After months and months of unrealistic deadlines, pulling late night shifts coupled with an insane commute and two very small children at home I had a total burnout. Turned up to work one morning, and stared at the Java code I had been writing for the past couple of days and it might as well have been written in Martian. The more I stared, and the more I tried to keep things together internally the less I was able to make sense of anything - just a random jumble of characters on screen that were as intelligible as the green scrolling lines from The Matrix.

My office manager saw that I was obviously in some distress and took me into a meeting room to have a quick chat - and there I was, a grown man of 35 bawling my eyes out like a two year old. Not the most edifying moment of my life.

However, the company couldn't have been more supportive afterwards; one of my colleagues drove the 100 miles to get me home in my car and took a train back up to the office; my GP signed me off work for six months and treated me for severe depression; the office instituted stricter working policies - not on the developers, but the sales/PM teams that were handing down ridiculous timescales simply so they could get a sale.

For my part, I've learnt to push back and say "NO!" - work is not your life, it's an important part of your life, but my no means everything. Don't feel beholden to a company to meet unrealistic targets that you haven't agreed to. Talk.

Newest addition to my desk (after reviewing code written by ex-coworker)

This is how my day has gone so far:
1. In car, see advert about hackathon
2. Look it up, see tickets go on sale in 30mins
3. Read more about hackathon, apparently tickets go within minutes
4. Get tickets, print
5. Printer out of ink
6. Accidentally deleted ticket, can't reprint
7. No more tickets left so can't get another
8. Spend hours with data recovery tools
9. Remember recycle bin. Reprint ticket
10. Cry
11. Rant on devRant

How to punish new users to Linux when they type sl instead of ls

I had my first nightmare in years:

I was at work, and suddenly saw that my NS has changed for my personal domain. I also saw that the domain has transferred to another provider and a company had bought it and had it for sale for $7000.

I woke up, but it took 10 minutes before I realized it was just a dream.

uhh... I'm confused...

Oops, i bought a new one - I dont really know what i wanna do with it - but it was on sale so 😅
#4GB-RAM

Radio Shack store closed near my house. Had a huge fire sale. Electric circuit components were 90% off.
My wife thought I'd gone insane when I got home with two huge bags full of LEDs, resistors, switches, IR sensors, photocells, capacitors, bridge rectifiers, a spare breadboard, a pair of helping hands, etc.
My only regret is that I didn't catch the fire sale in time to grab all their Arduinos.

I could be wrong, but I believe all devs love a clear section saying

"Getting Started" to any form of documentation

When you see the deadline approaching but steam summer sale is going strong so you just sit there like

My son loves...loves Star Wars, so when Star Wars Battlefront (on the PC) went on sale, he jumped on it.

To my shock (I'm not a big gamer), the game is filled with hackers/cheaters that are able to give themselves 'god' mode, so they can kill in one shot and take no damage.
My son (and others in the game) keeps 'reporting' them, but it looks like an issue EA is ignoring.
My son keeps asking me "You're a programmer, can't you fix the game so they can't do that?"

Good lord...I could care less about russians "hacking" our election (moronic press, doesn't even know what that means), but hacking my son's favorite game!...hmm..wonder how long it would take me to drive to EA headquarters and find that SOB dev manager in charge?
I get it, cheaters are gonna cheat, but fix your friggin' code! Aren't you embarrassed!?

Don't give me any of that "we don't know how they are doing it..." nonsense. This is devrant, not <insert media outlet you hate>.

So... Just overheard a conversation at an Apple store...

tl;dr;

The customer gets furious for not getting to buy a mac pro for the price he wants and it doesn't even include the monitor there.....

C - customer, S - Sales person.

C: Hey, I've heard that apple released new home computers. May I get one?
S: Hello, they are not out yet.
C: WHAT?! How can they not be out yet? They released it like a week ago.
S: Well, they announced it, not officially released it for sale.
C: Ah, whatever. Can I pre-order it now?
S: Sure, we'll need your details and a deposit.
C: What? A deposit for what? That $1000 machine?
S: Sir, do you know the prices?
C: Of course. They have released a new machine and it will cost like previous ones - from $1000.
S: Then you might be talking about Macbook Air...
C: *Interrupts* No, I'm talking about the desktop computer, the whole box.
S: Ok... It starts at ~$6000.
C: WHAT?! It can't be... Oh well, I'll buy it. I hope it's the fully-specked one. Oh and does it come with a monitor?
S: No sir. It's the base model and it has no monitors.
C: WHAT?! How can this be?
S: You see, these are devices created for professionals. They are not for home users since our iMac line is....
C: *Interrupts again* Are you saying I'm not a professional?
S: I'm sorry but by the questions and lack of information - it seems to be true - you are not a professional.
C: FUCK YOU, I'm going to another store and they will sell it for me for $1000. What a piece of crap is this.
*Customer leaves furiously*
S: *to another S* - What is wrong with that dude? Is he high or what?
S2: *shrugs* and tells that it's the 5th time someone came to order that pc and was scared by the price.

---

So yeah... It's fun to see how idiots think that anything apple releases is for them... Once again I was made sure that apple fans are brainless fucks that will buy anything it produces and if that is not in the right price - they'll get furious.

ps. I own apple product, mac pro 2015. Would never buy a newer one NOR an iphone. I don't think that anyone is dumb just for buying it - people buy whatever fits their needs and that's ok but... More than we would like to admit - people buy it because it's an apple product....

Can this happen to a dev???

Anyone need it?

I wanted to buy all these at a car boot sale (yard sale). But I've got no idea why...

"When we have clients who are thinking about Flash splash pages, we tell them to go to their local supermarket and bring a mime with them. Have the mime stand in front of the supermarket, and, as each customer tries to enter, do a little show that lasts two minutes, welcoming them to the supermarket and trying to explain the bread is on aisle six and milk is on sale today." - Jared Spool

Back home from college.
Now I have to work with 128Kbps internet. And oh look steam sale 🙋.
Better buy a 23 gigs game to test my patience evn further..

I once worked Tech Support for a point of sale software package. There was really no internal help desk, so we got all of those questions as well.

One day our front receptionist that her computer is being really weird and she can't type - it keeps inserting 3s in the middle of what she is typing.

I take the short walk down the hall to her desk and see that, indeed, a never ending string of 3s is being input to her screen.

"I can't figure out what's wrong." she says.

Then I reach over and remove the edge of an open binder whose edge was resting on the 3 key and enter key on the num pad.

"That should fix it."

Walked back to my desk.

Such sale

I just found a game (have not played it yet) that I think everyone here will cream over.

It's an insanely detailed hardware/ low level/ make-your-own-computer game.

I watched the trailer and it sets you up by teaching you logic gates and basic circuitry.

Then, it eventually teaches you how to build your own computer using these gates.

Then, you start creating your own assembly language using the computer you made.

Then, you use your computer to solve problems like sending a robot through a maze or just building snake on a display.

Absolutely check it out, it's on sale for $13 USD. I just bought it. Turing Complete on Steam.

I got myself a new monitor, 2560x1080 (21:9). LG 25UM58-P on sale at NewEgg and NCIX, I paid $200CAD.

Best part about the covid19 manufactured crisis?
Liquor stores deliver. Worst part about liquor stores delivering? Needing to use their shoddy websites.

I've been using a particular store (Total Wines) since they're cheaper than the rest and have better selection; it's quite literally a large warehouse made to look like a store.

Their website tries really hard to look professional, too, but it's just not. It took me two days to order, and not just from lack of time -- though from working 14 hour days, that's a factor.

Signing up was difficult. Your username is an email address, but you can't use comments because the server 500s, making the ajax call produce a wonderfully ambiguous error message. It also fades the page out like it's waiting on something, but that fade is on top of the error modal too. Similar error with the password field, though I don't remember how I triggered it.

Signing up also requires agreeing to subscribe to their newsletter. it's technically an opt-in, but not opting-in doesn't allow you to proceed. Same with opting-in to receiving a text notification when your order is ready for pickup -- you also opt-in to reciving SMS spam.

Another issue: After signing up, you start to navigate through the paginated product list. Every page change scrolls you to the exact middle of the next page. Not deliberatly; the UI loads first, and the browser gets as close as it can to your previous position -- which was below that as the pagination is at the bottom -- and then the products populate after. But regardless of why, there is no worse place to start because now you must scroll in both directions to view the products. If it stayed at the very bottom, it would at least mean you only need to scroll upwards to look at everything on the page. Minor, but increasingly irritating.

Also, they have like 198 pages of spirits alone because each size is unique entry. A 50ml, 350ml, 500ml, 750ml, 1000ml, and 1750ml bottle of e.g. Tito's vodka isn't one product, it's six. and they're sorted seemingly randomly. I think it's by available stock, looking back.

If you fancy a product, you can click on it for a detail page. Said detail page lists the various sizes in a dropdown, but they're not sorted correctly either, and changing sizes triggers a page reload, which leads to another problem:

if you navigate to more than a few pages within a 10 or so second window, the site accuses you of using browser automation. No captcha here, just a "click me for five seconds" button. However, it (usually) also triggers the check on every other tab you have open after its next nagivation.

That product page also randomly doesn't work. I haven't narrowed it down, but it will randomly decide to start failing, and won't stop failing for hours. It renders the page just fine, then immediately replaces it with a blank page. When it's failing, the only way to interact with the page is a perfectly-timed [esc], which can (and usually does) break all other page functionality, too. Absolutely great when you need to re-add everything from a stale copy of your signed-out cart living in another tab. More on that later. And don't forget to slow down to bypass the "browser automation" check, too!

Oh, and if you're using container tabs, make sure to open new tabs in the SAME container, as any request from the same IP without the login cookie will usually trigger that "browser automation" response, too.

The site also randomly signs you out, but allows you to continue amassing your cart. You'd think this is a good thing until you choose to sign in again... which empties your cart. It's like they don't want to make a sale at all.

The site also randomly forgets your name, replacing it with "null." My screen currently says "Hello, null". Hello, cruft!

It took me two days to order.
Mostly from lack of time, as i've been pulling 14 hour shifts lately trying to get everything done. but the sheer number of bugs certainly wasted most of what little time i had left. Now I definitely need a drink.

But maybe putting up with all of this is worthwhile because of their loyalty program? Apparently if you spend $500, you can take $5 off your next purchase! Yay! 1%! And your points expire! There are three levels; maybe it gets better. Level zero is for everyone; $0 requirement. There are also levels at $500 and $2500. That last one is seriously 5x more than the first paid level. and what does it earn you? A 'free' magazine subscription, 'free' classes (they're usually like $20-$50 iirc), and a 'free' grab bag (a $2.99 value!) twice per month. All for spending $2500. What a steal. It reminds me of Candy Crush's 3-star system where the first two stars are trivial, and the third is usually a difficult stretch goal. But here it's just thinly-veiled manipulation with no benefit.

I can tell they're employing some "smarketing" people with big ideas (read: stolen mistakes), but it's just such a fail.

The whole thing is a fail.

Attend all the meetings, they said. They're super important, they said. You'll get more code done if we hyper-report on progress they said. The bugs are piling up and we need to have even more meetings, they said.

STOP SAYING THINGS AT ME AND LET ME FUCKING CODE YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNTS.

After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.

...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."

He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.

Me: "what did I do wrong?"

Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."

Me: "can I expl..."

Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."

Me: "I have..."

Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"

Me: "ok"

Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"

Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."

Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)

Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."

Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."

Me: "But you have spoken"

Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"

That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.

Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"

Whatever you do, just keep going.

If you don't have mental capacity to do all tasks today, do one or two. If you want to do that side project you wanted, but lost motivation in the moment, do at least something, like a sign up form. Just keep going. Put some work in, make this day's net impact positive. And it's not all about work! Wanted to play that game you bought on a steam sale but never opened? Play the first level today. Wanted to learn how to make music? Download Ableton or Fruity Loops, watch a tutorial video on YouTube, replicate the steps. Just keep going.

Wandering directionless and letting yourself go is the sure path to misery. Remember — every figment of human behavior has a reason. It is important to identify reasons behind seemingly random behavior patterns and comprehend them in a non-judgmental way. Then, starve what holds you back, and feet what keeps you going.

I have bipolar type I + autism. Using this approach and remembering that everything has a reason helped me debug my low productivity. And no, I don't mean my job, I mean my real goals I want to pursue even if I had a billion in the bank today and never had to work a single day in my life.

Aaand, the reason was?… fear. I discovered I had PTSD all along that manifested when I was misdiagnosed and prescribed strong neuroleptics. In a way, it's a chemical lobotomy, just less invasive and more reversible. My intelligence came back, but it came back together with PTSD.
Now, instead of chasing mythical productivity, I know the reason behind the lack of it — PTSD. It is hard to fight what isn't defined, but it is real to win a fight with a thing with a name and a face.

Just keep going. That's my message to you.

Look what I got for £2 from a car-boot sale! So fun to watch the little wheel spin round

Most successful project... What is success?

My first computer at 8 years old was a Commodore64. There was no internet yet, so I used the manual to learn about BASIC and assembly, sound and sprite registers, and created a pretty elaborate RPG. Mostly text, some sprite art, soldered some eeprom cartridges, optimized the code. Spent almost a year on it. An enthousiast magazine picked up on it, revised, QA'ed & published the game, sold a little over 10k samples. I got ƒ0.25 per sale, and I was completely overwhelmed how much candy one could buy for ƒ2500 ($2k corrected for inflation).

More recent:
I was employee #3 at my current company, started when it was worth nothing and the website redirected to a set of Google Forms containing all the logic. I wrote a large part of the first, monolithic backend.

Now there's teams in a dozen countries, and an estimated revenue of a quarter billion.

So obviously my current "project" is more successful.

Still, my current job sucks, the company turned into a desolate passion-free wasteland full of soulless fake hipster zombies and managers who seem to derive sexual pleasure from holding extremely ineffective meetings, endlessly rubbing their calendars together in their bureaucratic orgy of ineptitude.

So, I'm more proud of my C64 game.

Fuck Optimizely.

Not because the software/service itself is inherently bad, or because I don't see any value in A/B testing.

It's because every company which starts using quantitative user research, stops using qualitative user research.

Suddenly it's all about being data driven.

Which means you end up with a website with bright red blinking BUY buttons, labels which tell you that you must convert to the brand cult within 30 seconds or someone else will steal away the limited supply, and email campaigns which promise free heroin with every order.

For long term brand loyalty you need a holistic, polished experience, which requires a vision based on aesthetics and gut feelings -- not hard data.

A/B testing, when used as some kind of holy grail, causes product fragmentation. There's a strong bias towards immediate conversions while long term churn is underrepresented.

The result of an A/B test is never "well, our sales increased since we started offering free heroin with every sale, but all of our clients die after 6 months so our yearly revenue is down -- so maybe we should offer free LSD instead"

I seriously do not understand the rants against Windows.

I love Windows 10 (got as free upgrade from MS), and have no issues with MacOS or Linux OS. I use them as well but do all serious work on Windows.

All my life, I have worked on business / commercial side and picked up Web development in last couple of years. I started using computers on DOS in 1992, and shifted to Windows 3.0 in 1995. There was no Mac or MacOS back then.

For serious work, I purchased a old Dell Precision M4700 workstation grade laptop with quad-core i7, at throwaway price, got 32GB RAM, 2.4TB (1x2 TB + 400gb) of SSD on super sale online, and installed it myself. It easily supports dual 4k monitors.

Git-bash on windows allows all the necessary linux command line on windows. Though not tried, Windows 10 allows embedded Ubunutu with linux terminal. Web development tools like - VSCode, git, github / bitbucket clients, NVM/Node, React / Redux / Webpack / Gatsby / Jest, REST clients, GraphQL client and server, Graph Server, Chrome PWA / Chrome Dev Tools, http/Websocket/WebRTC interception, Google Firebase SDKs, AWS sdks, cloud utilities, CI/CD tools work flawlessly. Windows even has its own package manager for applications.

>be me
>be excited for secret santa
>buys gift
>the guy who got my gift is happy :)
>wait till the end of the day
>no gift for me :/
>leave office with nothing to be excited about
>reach home
>get to know about steam winter sale
>buy games to the point of happiness ;-;

10/10 would worship gaben ;~;

Introduction to graphics

Lecturer says "this is a very practical course. In fact I think we should have a practical exam"

All students agree. He would sort out that matter.

Meanwhile he taught us how to making shapes in java, then a house, then a game...

And the exam was for us to make a building where a user can walk through the building using the arrow keys...

What fun we had. We got out marks...and everybody did well!!!!

Bought a game for 90% off during a Steam sale. I guess you get what you pay for.

Our CEO suddenly wanted to work with an outsourcing company to build the product. On one of the "sale" meetings I asked a guy from that company:
- Can we interview developers before they join our project?
- Our company is responsible for the quality of the service we provide, - the guy replied
- What are you going to charge us for?
- For all the hours developers worked
- So your service is developer hours, and we'll be obligated to pay for all the hours they worked regardless the code quality or the performance, right?

So it seems outsourcing company is only responsible for their time sheets to correspond to real hours worked? :-)

We call such a companies in Ukraine - a galley

I've optimised so many things in my time I can't remember most of them.

Most recently, something had to be the equivalent off `"literal" LIKE column` with a million rows to compare. It would take around a second average each literal to lookup for a service that needs to be high load and low latency. This isn't an easy case to optimise, many people would consider it impossible.

It took my a couple of hours to reverse engineer the data and implement a few hundred line implementation that would look it up in 1ms average with the worst possible case being very rare and not too distant from this.

In another case there was a lookup of arbitrary time spans that most people would not bother to cache because the input parameters are too short lived and variable to make a difference. I replaced the 50000+ line application acting as a middle man between the application and database with 500 lines of code that did the look up faster and was able to implement a reasonable caching strategy. This dropped resource consumption by a minimum of factor of ten at least. Misses were cheaper and it was able to cache most cases. It also involved modifying the client library in C to stop it unnecessarily wrapping primitives in objects to the high level language which was causing it to consume excessive amounts of memory when processing huge data streams.

Another system would download a huge data set for every point of sale constantly, then parse and apply it. It had to reflect changes quickly but would download the whole dataset each time containing hundreds of thousands of rows. I whipped up a system so that a single server (barring redundancy) would download it in a loop, parse it using C which was much faster than the traditional interpreted language, then use a custom data differential format, TCP data streaming protocol, binary serialisation and LZMA compression to pipe it down to points of sale. This protocol also used versioning for catchup and differential combination for additional reduction in size. It went from being 30 seconds to a few minutes behind to using able to keep up to with in a second of changes. It was also using so much bandwidth that it would reach the limit on ADSL connections then get throttled. I looked at the traffic stats after and it dropped from dozens of terabytes a month to around a gigabyte or so a month for several hundred machines. The drop in the graphs you'd think all the machines had been turned off as that's what it looked like. It could now happily run over GPRS or 56K.

I was working on a project with a lot of data and noticed these huge tables and horrible queries. The tables were all the results of queries. Someone wrote terrible SQL then to optimise it ran it in the background with all possible variable values then store the results of joins and aggregates into new tables. On top of those tables they wrote more SQL. I wrote some new queries and query generation that wiped out thousands of lines of code immediately and operated on the original tables taking things down from 30GB and rapidly climbing to a couple GB.

Another time a piece of mathematics had to generate all possible permutations and the existing solution was factorial. I worked out how to optimise it to run n*n which believe it or not made the world of difference. Went from hardly handling anything to handling anything thrown at it. It was nice trying to get people to "freeze the system now".

I build my own frontend systems (admittedly rushed) that do what angular/react/vue aim for but with higher (maximum) performance including an in memory data base to back the UI that had layered event driven indexes and could handle referential integrity (overlay on the database only revealing items with valid integrity) or reordering and reposition events very rapidly using a custom AVL tree. You could layer indexes over it (data inheritance) that could be partial and dynamic.

So many times have I optimised things on automatic just cleaning up code normally. Hundreds, thousands of optimisations. It's what makes my clock tick.

I finally finished building my desktop to the specs I want!

I bought NZXT's Nuka-Cola themed case & mobo cover when they were announced. I've been planning this build for a while, but:

My laptop fell off a bench (while in my backpack) a couple months ago and the screen broke, so I bought this nice CHG70 from Samsung and put on top of it. That worked fine for a while, but within a couple weeks that laptop also stopped sending a display signal.

Having already dropped a lot of money on the monitor of my dreams and not being able to bear returning it after having it in front of me, I decided, Fuck It; I'll just build the whole PC I've been planning on right now.

Except, I wasn't ready. Had to start out with a Ryzen 2400g. Then got an RX580 on sale for $200. This week was when I swapped the Gigabyte B350M DS3H & 2400g for NZXT N7 Z370 & i7 8700k

My worst experience was at my job where they told me I have to move to a permanent position from 3 years of contracting without a specific offer.
Why is that bad? In my country it means approximatly 40% lower wage.
I came into the job with PHP knowledge when they were looking for Perl on a project one year behind schedule. I learned the language and finished working demo in 6 weeks.
After that, every project that was ever assigned to me was done within 5-15% of the allocated time. I'm not kidding here. My manager loved be, because I was reliable, fast and I even 'accidentaly' solved other problems, like for instance I developed simple syslog search tool and benchmarked zip algos for reading speed, and the fastest had 70% better compression than the algo used before (gzip into plzip on 1-2gb files). That solved anothet problem - syslog servers did not have enough disk space and they didn't have money to upgrade the server.
The number of projects I touched or developed was over 20.
I also lead and developed our team's most successful tool, that every customer was throwing money to buy, while cutting down costs everywhere.
And after three years of that, my manager says that there are no more money for contractors. And the only possibility is going for employment. Without any specific offer! Just 'we cant do this anymore'.
Which I understand, that can happen in corporation, but ffs after all I've done, I expected warmer attitude. Not like 'you may have to leave, since we do not really care'.
I liked the people there, even though the corporation environment was lacking in many respects, but I wanted to help our local branch with everything I could and they gave up on me like that.
So I started looking elsewhere and I found a startup which offered 6 times the money I had in my previous job and promises to relocate me to USA. Which is the best thing that has happened to me that year and second best in my whole life!

Steam Winter Sale is on, and I just got myself Dark Souls III.

Done downloading, game started and....

*dies within first 3 minutes*

When I was 20, I coded for 24 hours straight, even ate at the computer, as a dare to finish all the tasks in one go. I was successful.
Now I'm 25 and I have no time for such stuff. Kinda miss that

Don't drink a lot before develop

...You know what's creepy?
Bought animal crossing new horizons today online.
Goes like this.
*Googles title*
*Finds it on sale on my fav online vendor*
*Buys it*
*Installs it on switch*
Everything's fine.
Two hours later my entire fucking YouTube feed is full of videos about the game.

I like how devs keep on shitposting Windows rants, but never switch to Linux.

Windows will never get better, you have to give it up :)

Yeah, sure Fortune. Please tell me more about my personal finances that you know nothing about.

The longer this drags on the more it feels like a war against the proletariat.

I also feel like the aristocracy is building a terrible financial charade that will be the toast of the town by November. They REALLY want to make sure the labor doesn't see any rise in wages. Can't have those peons thinking they can get ahead, right?

It's going to be the best sales pre-thanksgiving! It's going to be so popular one would say it's going to be on sale on fire, or is it a fire sale?

When November rolls around, I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

I was told to present an app that was hardly finished and that the company really needed the sale. So I worked through the weekend and basically slept in the office getting this project working perfectly. Monday I am there in my suite and tie ready to sell it, only to be told that 'Monday is the internal presentation' so feeling like a boob I present it to my colleagues. The when Tuesday comes, I do the presentation only to find out the client bought the app months ago. Man I was cross.

Then, the CEO gave me a high five

TL;DR: a dude thinks good graphics make a game good.

so every day when the school ends, me, a dude and another girl walk home. as expected we have lots of time to talk about anything. I wanted that day to tell that dude about what I am going to buy on steam summer sales with just 15$.

me: I am going for this summer to play lots of games so I saved some money for this summer sale. do you want to hear what awesome games I am about to buy with just 15$?
dude: yeah, sure thing.

he wasn't expecting much

M: this summer I am going to buy 5 games and maybe keep more for some others. they are so awesome!
D: ok, let's hear those 'awesome' games!
M: the first game is devil daggers, maybe you don't kno...
D: of course I do. is that game
M: I want to get that game just to improve my aim, but maybe I will have some fun.
D: yeah yeah, I know that game
M: *poker face*

I KNEW he doesn't know this game and anything about pc games because of the followings...

M: ok then... I also want to get Half-Life 2 : Episode 1 & 2. they have pretty rich story and I already have both Half-Lives.
D: holy shit but the graphics... ok, one more 'awesome' game of yours.
M: there are 2 episodes, 2 separate games. I really don't care about the graphics, I love the story.
D: continue with your 'awesom' games...

that dude didn't even knew about half-life and said that game is bad.

M: another game I want to get is Battlefront 2, the one from 2005 and...
D: 2005!?
M: yeah, the new one sucks, and the gameplay in the original is way better and...
D: *starts laughing* 2005!? I thought you were getting the new one. I imagine the graphics being like this car. *points to a fucking car, yeah that kind of comparasion, I know*

after this I was so fucking pissed off. he doesn't even know about some cult classics that are meant to be played. he doesn't even have a pc nor console and he is stating his opinion on fine air for fucks sake!

M: ok, what about getting the facts and then make an opinon.
D: yeah yeah *making fun of me at that point*

I didn't tell him that I wanted to buy the binding of isaac, cause it was enough for me. I told him to watch some reviews on these games and blog posts about them and I am sure tomorrow he will say that he 'wathced' the reviews and that those games are garbage. it's his style to underestimate things. I fucking hate him, not becuase of the games, but because he underestimates everything that is not on his list of 'good games'. that list consists of new games with great graphics(3D only).

sorry if I exaggerate saying that those games are cult classics but I really look forward into buying them.

if you have another indie game to run on this potato machine(2gb ram, pentium dual-core 2.1ghz, gtx 525m) that I should or at least try comment, I am open to suggestions!

When the sale ends before it starts....

Source code works on my local machine, even when I present it to the relevant users; no body panics its all part of the plan. Place it on the server and it does not work AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MIND!

I work in a fintech company and our product is a point of sale app. Two senior indian dev contractors just spent 3.5 months on a feature where all they had to do was map two tables by using a third mapper table and display 2 lists to the user so he could update the data in those two tables.

After hearing same excuses (that they are working in it) for the past few weeks, I took it upon myself and made a proof of concept for them.

Yeah our codebase is kinda shit but even me, a fcking junior with 3 years of experience managed to do it in 1 week.

Meanwhile these fuckers spent 14 weeks beating around the bush and couldnt even save data to a fucking database. They just added UI and thats it. When asked how investigation is going fuckers couldnt even come up with any findings. For weeks. Seniors my fucking ass.

If not for me, I guess they would have taken till the end of the year. No, fuck you, here is an example now pickup your slack.

Im tired of picking after you. God damn incompetent leeches

Our team really needs some workflow arrangement, and this time it was me who screwed up.
So we have to push an update to the Play Store and the App Store the Friday, the app is well tested on test environment then production environment, we got the ok so I uploaded a build, the app management team then continued the process of publishing..

During the weekend the app was approved and live to almost 500k user that can receive the update.

I got a phone call from the Project Manager at almost midnight, the time was really suspicious so I answered.
- Me: Hello.
- PM: Hi, sorry to call you now but the app is live and we have a problem.
- Me: what kind of problem? Let me check.

So I updated the app on my phone and opened it while I am on call.. I almost had heart attack!! WE PUBLISHED A VERSION POINTING TO THE TEST ENVIRONMENT. Holly shit

- Me: shit call the app management team NOW.

Eventually we removed the app from sale (unpublished it) and we submitted a new version immediately, once it was approved the next day we made the app available again (so for those who didn’t update yet, there will be no update to a faulted version, and no new users landing to a version with test data), I received one or two calls from friends telling me why the app is not on the store (our app is used nationally, so it’s really important).

Thank God there was no big show on twitter or other social media.. but it’s really a good lesson to learn.

I understand this is totally my fault, thankfully I didn’t get fired 😅

Well played, Valve

I work at a coworking space and one of the companies there uses those spraycan horn things when they get a sale.

Found this little helper on my way home at a yard sale 😍

I know folks do their best, but come on Apple, this can't be that hard. Bought an IPhone at an estate sale (elderly individual died suddenly, so no one had knowledge of the apple id, passwords, etc) and I've been trying to convince apple to clear the activation lock. (AS = Apple Support)

<after explaining the situation>
AS: "Have you tried putting the phone in recovery mode? That should clear the lock"
Me: "I've already done that. It prompts for the apple id and password, which I don't have"
AS: "You need to talk to the owner and get the information"
Me: "As I explained, I purchased the phone at an estate sale of someone who died. I have the bill of sale, serial number, the box, obituary. What else do you need?"
AS: "Have you tried contacting a family member? They might have have that information."
Me: "The family members at the sale told us this is all they had. This kind of thing has to happen. I can't believe Apple can't clear the activation lock."
AS: "Yes, we can, but I'm very sorry we take security seriously."
Me: "I understand, what do I do now?"
AS: "Did you log out of the phone? Go to settings ..."
Me: "Yes, I tried all those steps before calling. It prompts for the AppleID and password."
AS: "Did you try entering the password?"
Me: "No, I don't have it. I already explained there is no way to know"
AS: "Yes..yes...sorry...I'm just reading the information in front of me. I found something, have you tried submitting a activation lock removal request?"
Me: "Yes, it was denied, didn't tell me why, which is why I'm calling. What about taking this phone to an Apple store? I have all the paperwork."
AS: "Sure, you can try. You might need the death certificate. The family or the coroner will have a copy."
Me: "What!? Apple requires a death certificate to unlock a phone!? I'm pretty sure not even the family is going to give a total stranger a death certificate"
AS: "Sorry sir, I'm just reading what is in front of me. Without that certificate, there is no way to prove the person died. You can try the Apple store, but they will likely require it."
Me: "That's a lot of drama for unlocking a phone. A *phone*"
AS: "Yes sir, I understand. If there anything else we can do let us know and thank you for being an a apple customer."

Next stop, the Apple Store.

What's wrong with the USPS...my stressball has been stuck in Jamaica for the last 10 months...

I just bought a USB mobile power pack... Here my thought:

-It's on sale!
-But do I really need it?
-.... Will I could give it to my dad if I don't...
-but what it's it been... Chinese products are cheap...
-this isn't cheap... It's just on sale!
-hm....
-you know you'll need it.. at the rate my phone's battery gets used in a years time it won't be able to leave half a day...
-hm....
-cmon only $21 hrs left... this is a steal... It's only 15$....

-ah ok.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*After buying**

It's not too late to cancel.... Should I cancel?

Hope you all are surviving well

Few changes here and there in my life and staying away from lots of things including DR. Not technically a rant but kinda a summary of my current life story.

- broke up with gf (to be precise, I dumped her because I don't wanna have a RS anymore). Pretty bad thing for her and she is still having a hard time accepting it.
- took a second job, part-time.
- trying to get few more part-time/consultant kind of jobs.
- step down from CEO/CTO position at my business and trying to focus just to be a better CTO.
- 80% of sale teams resigned or asked them to resign.
- found a new investor but no cash received yet.
- have to touch nodejs (at the part-time job).
- left side eyelid is twitching pretty frequently lately.

Not much. That's about it. Now let me check what the heck are you all up to lately.

2017: jump into the near future

AnotherJSFramework.js

So AJSF.js

Okay christmas is cool but im waiting for january when all hardware will be on sale

Was having a Good day , My code was compiling, Android Studio did find the fucking 'R' In his goddamn libraries and eventually got my strong coffee by my desk.
Suddenly i'm hit up with one of Noob friends saying that he installed Windows on His MacBook Air...
My ears and eyes starting bleeding and all that came in my mind was why the heck did you do this, why the heck did you coat your Chocolate truffle with the fucking Mud. Why didn't you just hammered the keyboard and the screen before doing . I had to sleep after this and all that i saw in my dreams was fucking apples and windows.
Please for God's sake don't do this , wouldn't be a sin more deep than this one

Deep Thought Rant

It's funny how the world works these days...companies only looking for "senior *something*" developers to work...

Mentorship and internship also do matter. What's happening?...sure you can contribute to open source but having a mentor also helps. Working as an intern allows one to see not only tech bit but workplace environment. How to deal with deadlines, feeling good and wasted at the same time when one bug that took a 3 minutes to fix but 3 hours to find, presenting your work; well what's working only, being bashed when it's your fault or not (even though that sucks), learning from your mentor and so on

Are their companies that still do this?

Being thrown in the deep end, baptism by fire is the best/worst way to learn a new codebase

Its not appropriate for everyone but it weirdly works

The meeting where your boss over promises a ton of features that are not only completely out of budget, but also completely out of our abilities - so that he can get the sale to pay his 2 month behind office rent...

Any Stromae fans on devrant

His music get me in the zone...when code works and test pass 😅😅😅

I was 11-12, the year was 1995. My mom was so sick of me screwing up the business computer (286), she bought me an old XT at a garage sale. It had a monochrome monitor and a 40 kB HDD. I taught myself qbasic on it. I knew right there I wanted to build stuff in code for a living.

Me: Ok time to save money, have a trip to melbourne coming up, save for a house, car and wedding... Brilliant...

Internet: Oh hey you know how you wanted a smartwatch that was not sporty looking and has NFC, heres the Ticwatch C2!

Me: I hate my life...

Internet: also heres some of the programming theory books you wanted on sale!

Me: starts tying noose

Why must saving money be so bloody hard when everything you've wanted just pops up .-.

Steam Summer Sale!!!! What should I get? 🤔

Fuck NameCheap.

They will show you a domain is on sale, make you contact support to buy it, tell you "oh sorry it's your browser cache's fault, please restart your browser" and then JACK UP THE PRICE 10x.

Royally fuck you. This shit should be illegal. If I thought it would solve anything I'd contact ICANN.

God I fucking hate this industry. It's all a fucking scam.

Today at 7am i got s phone call please go to this client

I responded sure no problem what am i going to do at this client.....

Don't worry they said you will find out when you get there...

So i go to the client and as I expected its not dev related at all

It was for installation of point of sale tills and printers 😱😱

That are 7 years old with no cables
(2 hour drive to get here)

Anyway I ended up selling hardware to them....this developer is going places 😂🙈

I didn't know Bill was on letgo...

Java teacher writes code on blackboard in comp lab

He tells us to try it out at our workstations.

We do. The code does work. We tell him.

He says: "There is something wrong with your compiler..."

Question is...we were around 30 students. Can all our compilers not work if we had used the lab before and the code we run worked clean??!?!?!?

We were flabbergasted

A taxi booking platform to support functioning B2B taxing booking company that was turning over 15 million per year.

It offered portals for B2B and B2C. Rather simple concept.

Business or client raise a booking, booking is submitted to a 3rd party taxi firm we manage the booking throughout its lifetime for the client.

We had an existing legacy product in place that needed redeveloping.

Management sunk many, many millions of pounds into the project, it never lunch and teh company was sold off twice will extreme losses each time. First sale was in the millions and the second was for 500k.

This was a result of poor technical choices made by past lead developers and extremely poor choice of management who cared more for managing their reputation as they were self aware of how much knowledge they lacked.

The technical aspect of the company was created a child company of the parent. This child company was responsible for the downfall of the parent which was functioning well and making a profit.

The company as a whole has since been liquidated thanks to that project. Many out of a job.

I jumped ship after 8 months as I couldn't continue to work with the crazy management. By crazy I mean they should have been in a tincan.

An ad of items on sale in a store:

Bath toys for babies, buy 1, get a second one for 1 $...

One of the toys is a rubber duck..
I don't have a baby...still considering 😂

Please, can someone explain the term "enterprise" to me. I work in a corporation, I hear it twice a week, I develop it, and still have no idea what it means.

Client calls me, 10am in the Sunday, complaing that there's something wrong with the system, the same thing he called me last week and I told him to observe and double check every time he closes a POS sale. So far, the error hasn't happened till today, Sunday again.

I feel sorry for devs at TEAVANA. I can almost hear "You're Fired".

Who's having the worse day than these guys?

This was 5 hours ago and I still can't place an order. Worst time for this happen since today's one of the biggest sale days in US.

Seems like my heavy Desktop-PC became portable for a x24 download-speed 😂

*80 GB for GTA V Steam-Version are worth it...

Honestly, I spent years trying to make the most out of every functionality that the languages provided... After 7 years of that, last 3 I only use the most basic things and I can say: it is far superior to keep things simple. I'm making deadlines in a third of expected time, debugging is a piece of cake, and adding new features usually takes about 5 minutes thanks to very simple and straightforward design.
TL;DR: Keep It Simple Stupid
#kiss #suckless

No file for sale 🎉

"When is the last time you saw a Lamborghini sale?" - Chris Campbell

It is the year 2451 ad and mankind rules the galaxy with a lazy iron fist. There are roughly 14,000 civilizations, comprised of just over
17,000 intelligent species on a quarter of a million earth-like
worlds. And all of them call themselves 'the galactic empire'.
No one told them that twenty planets doesn't qualify them for the title "galactic."

Well, we could rule, if we wanted to. Most of its just backwaters that no one wants anyway. It turned out that the reason no one invaded earth before was because they were too busy fighting themselves. Stupidity it appears, is not a unique human quality.That and the sex robots. Theres more of them in the galaxy than actual meatbags. Many species had taken to artificial wombs and 'vatbabies', which is exactly what they are called. Those poor bastards will carry that label for life.

We never did break light speed, but most of the rich exist in hypersleep anyway. Most of them only wake up once a year or so. There are some that only creek out of bed to check their stock portfolio. I hear there is even one trillionaire thats up and about once a century to ask if we have broken light speed yet.

Despite all the progress over the last 400 years, historians all agree about the most significant event in modern history.
The lobster went extinct two hundred years ago on earth.
Theres been riots ever since.

* * *

In other news I'm still working on the game I guess. It's like totally the most okay indie game you'll ever play--if I ever finish it.

I put about a year of work into the NPC system, and then chatGPT came out.

After everything thats happened, at this point I may just make a game about an indie dev making a survival game, being stuck in the actual apocalypse or some weird political dysopia.

Put it on rewind, it was originally a zombie game. But at the time the market got flooded and steam sales for zombie games cratered. So I pivoted to something more along the lines of fallout. Then the flash market crashed, bunch of publishers folded, and adobe stopped support for flash (probably for the best). Then newgrounds, which I was gonna launch on for promotion (because actual marketing is expensive), ended support for flash.
Was going the route of kickstarter, and that year the KS market got flooded and the bar rose almost over night so you needed super high production quality out the gate, and a network of support you already built for months.

We had a brief nuclear war scare, and I watched the articles come out about market saturation for post-apocalypse games, so I pivoted back to zombies. Then covid happened and the entire topic was really fucked. So I went back to fallout meets rimworld. Then we had a flood of games doing that exact premise pretty much out of the fucking blue, so I went for a more single-survivor type game. Then ukraine happened and the threat of nuclear war has been slowly sapping the genre of its steam, on well, steam.
Then I was told to get a cancer screening which I can't afford. Then I broke a tooth and spent a month in agony.

Then a family member died. Then I made no money from the sale of a business I did everything to help get off the ground, then I helped renovate an entire house on short notice and sell it, then I lost two months living in a hotel
while looking for a new place to live. Then I spent two and a half years suffering low-level alcoholism, insomnia, and drifting between jobs.
Then I wrote amazing poetry. And then I rediscovered my love of math. And then I made out for the first time in over a year. And then I rediscovered my love of piano and guitar. And then I fell into severe depression for the last year. Then I made actual discoveries in math. And I learned to love my hobbies again, and jog, and not drink so much, and sing, and go on long drives, and occasional hikes, and talk to people again, and even start designing games and UIs again. And then I learned that doing amazing things without a lot of money is still possible, and then I discovered the sunk cost fallacy, and run on sentences, and how inside me there was a part of me that refused to quit because of circumstances I couldn't control, and then I learned that life goes on even when others lives have ended, even when everything and everyone never had an once of faith in you, and you've become the avatar of the bad luck brian meme..still, life goes on.

And we try to pick up the pieces, try, one more time, because the climb, and the fall, and the getting back up, is all there is.

What I would recommend, if you're thinking of making a game, or becoming an independent game developer, is, unless you have a *lot* of money upfront (think 50-100k saved, minimum, like one years income *bare* minimum), and unless you already have a full decade in the industry--don't make a game.

Just don't.

Went into a thesis class today at my University. The team was presenting their project which was something related to web development.
Half way through the presentation, I realized that the template they were using was one that I had uploaded on ThemeForest for sale xD

Sadly they claimed ownership of the template claiming that they created the design. It was not difficult to see that their website was the best looking out of all around.

(Thesis requires us to create our own design and not to purchase it online)

100% off of 2.29 results in the price 2.29.

Steam teaches me something new every day

*Not a rant, but a very long vent*
I'm 20 and facing the worst dilemma I ever experienced.
Been working at a company for more than half a year, got the job thru a friend and started as an intern to take care of customer problems, crap they do to PC's, printers that wouldn't work, answer emails and phone calls about our point-of-sale software.
Soon everything started to change, on one day my boss asked my what I knew about coding, all I could answer was about some really basic stuff that I learnt on a previous semester at college, just some very basic coding stuff we got for C, how for loops works, conditions, that kind of thing. Soon I was being asked to code a client management software for our company, I was starting to grasp a little of this wonderful world, soon I could write some more complex code in C#, even did a program that in 30 seconds did a 3 day's worth of work, and then I got assigned to develop a mobile POS application, earned a raise, and man, is this wonderful.
I feel that I really found my place in life, found something that makes me jump out of bed every morning.
But here comes the dilemma part: I'm enrolled in a mechanical engineering school for two years now, and it's my second place already (been enrolled at a agronomy school before that) and I'm starting to feel out of place, in all the classes I'm taking, I cant help but feel that this isn't for me, I don't see myself doing that for a future, but I don't know if jumping to another boat would make it any better or just worse, I don't know how good are my odds at a tech oriented course are, I don't really know what to do with the rest of my life.
Guess I'm just afraid of doing something stupid and regret it later, don't know if I should listen to the voice that shouts to me to do whatever I want to with my life or the one that assures me of a stable path... Don't know if anyone will read this much, but if so, thanks a lot, just wanted to put it out of my shoulders and maybe get to know anyone that has been here. I'm new here, but I feel already at home. ☺

Me: *gets a payout from my old job*
Me: ahhh now to spoil myself, let's get some pixel buds and a day dream set and maybe a nice bottle of whiskey.

eBay: YO! We have that MacBook you've been looking for going really cheap at the moment!

Me: ... I hate myself...

Why does stuff always go on sale when I've spent my money ;-;

When you are involved in a conflict of interest project and its kept under wraps ...but your IT director still wants you to do it because his friend needs something done but don't want to pay for it

Who else has faced this? Or am I the only one...?

Overwatch is on sale right now, if anyone's interested.

Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.

Me: OK, what do you need?

Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.

Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?

Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?

Me: D':

Wanted to have Samsung Dex for work, so I can run office on it and kick windows from my dual boot laptop.
Dex pad was on sale.
Bought it.
Brought it to work.
Work monitor doesn't have hdmi.
...
fuck. <.<
I'll ask the technician later if he either has a monitor flying around he doesn't need or an adapter or something.

So there was one plus invite sale today in India !
I think the ticket were sold out early!
Then there is this guy in twitter 👇

I'm teaching myself ATM. I'm currently using freecodecamp, taking courses on Udemy, I have the books HTML & CSS and JavaScript & jQuery by Jon Duckett. Basically using as many of my free resources and catching classes when they're on sale.

I've also started a Meetup group for students and self learners like myself.

Any advice for me? Anyone want to mentor?

I'm really enjoying this learning process. And am positive I've found a career that I will actually love. I want

A report from The Register :

ICANN has halted the proposed $1.1 billion sale of the .org registry to a private equity firm. The DNS overseer has been under growing pressure to use its authority to refuse the planned transfer of the top-level domain from the Internet Society to Ethos Capital. "ICANN ultimately bowed to the US state's top lawyer when it concluded today it "finds the public interest is better served in withholding consent."

The decision will likely spark a mixture of relief and celebration from millions of .org domain holders, including some of the world's largest non-profit organizations, many of which were certain that their long-standing online addresses were going to be milked for profit by an organization that never fully revealed who its directors or investors were.

programs for sale

Need a new name for my dev team. Any suggestions?

DataDevNerd (ofc down to hardware bits)
Briefly blending amoung holiday tech consumers at Micro Center waiting for key-holder assistance @SSDs.

Rando: "they finally have a sale on *X, rebranded, price++* for my *ref'd only by part names* setup! What are you getting?"

Me: "replacement SSD, laptop's finally failing"

Rando: "Yeah, I totally get you, I hate that. How old is it? Hopefully you got a couple years outta it?"

Me: "over 7yrs old."
Rando: "Wow! Mustve not used it too much, still that's pretty long."

Me: "Actually, it's been my primary device, heavily used, as I'm a dev. I just know what/when to use SSD vs the HDD."

Rando: "Duuude, that's awesome!...wait...why haven't you just bought a new laptop yet?"

Me: "I'm not for hardware abuse or burning money"

I was quickly reminded why I tend to avoid typical consumer tech stores.

Really want to go here...
Can anyone buy me an economy seat and send to my place via ship? (Air shipping will probably cost $500+)

In uni
Lecturer: SOAP is insecure...

In interview: Any disadvantages you see with SOAP?

Me: The last i read SOAP is insecure. Im abit rusty with this knowledge

Interviewer: ahhh okay, SOAP is actually secure...

DAMN YOU LECTURER!

Seriously wtf? I wanted to play a new game. So I found Elden Ring on sale. But the first 30 minutes in the game is video/cutscenes so far. How can that reasonably be considered game play if it counts against the 2 hours of trial period? I don't play Skyrim in 3rd person, but I like that I can switch in and out to look at things.

I didn't like the feel of the combat system and I didn't like that it locked the 3rd person view. I hate playing in 3rd person as it is nearly always janky. How can that game be that popular with no option for 1st person?

I must be getting old. If a game doesn't feel the way I like, I bail on it. It has been this way with the last 3 or 4 Steam games I tried. Is it me, or has gaming in general gone to shit? I want an RPG with simple open world aspects, a non locked storyline that you can do if you want, maybe a vast generated world, and the ability to build things. I like FFX, but it takes a while to unlock "do what you want mode". It has party/character development, but no building.

I feel like the 2 hour trial period is too short. Not enough time to give the game a chance. I would have stuck it out if it gave me more time. I bailed because of janky 3rd person. Not enough time to get used to it imo.

I would rather play older titles I can trust to be fixable than new games. I am seeing people who play Skyrim come back to playing Skyrim after trying Starfield for a month. That is not a good sing for Starfield.

Maybe I just know what I want and have no time to be fucking around with new takes on game play. It is funny. I have 3 or 4 games I bought on sale from Steam that I have never played. Or played very little. I played Wild Hunt for like an hour and never played again. I didn't refund that one because I will get around to it, but I don't know when.

Over heard while watching a tutorial

"The secret key is really secret"

Dev walks in carrying a 2-liter bottle of Mt. Dew..
Dev: “Check it out, I forgot to bring my Mr. Dew from home, so I stopped at the gas station to up a bottle and they wanted $1.50, but they had 2-liters for $1.89. Much better deal. I’m all about saving money”
Me: “Um, $1.89 for a 2-liter isn’t a deal. Last week I bought several 2-liters for 69 cents each.”
Dev: “Pfftt…for the fake stuff. I want real Mt. Dew.”
Me: “Hy-Vee has all their Pepsi products on sale for 69 cents. How much do you pay for those 16oz bottles?”
Dev: "Only around $5 for a 6-pack. It's a much better deal when I buy in bulk."
Me: "I can buy 6 bottles of 2-liters cheaper than you buy a 6 pack of 16oz bottles. Buying a 6 pack at a time isn't buying in bulk."
Dev: "I hate 2-liter bottles. It goes flat before I drink it all and the soda tastes different."
Other Dev: "Um..what's that on your desk?"
- laughter all around -
Dev: "You -bleep-holes."

Manager: We are package whores now

Dev: You’re the package whore. I’m just the pimp.

I was at a car boot sale (mix between a flea market and yard sale for the Americans out there) the stall next to me was selling a PC tower, monitor, keyboard and mouse for £10. So all day I was trying to sell my old toys (I was 9 at the time) but only made £5.

At the end of the day I went to the stall and asked if he would take £5 for it, he then game me it for free as he saw me trying to sell my toys all day.

It has made life living like hell around muggles who think "it should not be that hard.. can you..."
NO! GO FUCK YOURSELF.
"Can you make me a POS system? A guy told me it should not take you more than a night. I will pay you (enough to buy Age of Empires 2 on Steam sale) as well."
NO GO LEARN TO CODE YOURSELF IN ONE NIGHT AND BUILD YOUR POS(piece of shit) YOURSELF IN THE NEXT NIGHT.

I cancelled prime a few months ago so when I was doing BF shopping on Amazon yesterday, delivery is now 1wk instead of 2-days.

And shipping apparently is $9 if you don't meet the $25 minimum and manually select free shipping; I remember it was $6 before...

So a few thoughts I had:

1. Amazon really must need the Prime memberships to cover all the shipping costs since it is now a pain in the ass to get free shipping on the checkout page.

2. Americans really want instant gratification? Waiting a week is that painful?

In contrast, stuff from China take about a month but are much cheaper

3. The only thing that's worth buying via Amazon now is electronics and stuff that are fragile... And food that's on sale because they have to uphold quality

4. Lucky for me, I get 1 week shipping, I have more time to cancel orders... Which is what I actually did

And it happened again.
Steam DDOS-ed itself with the Summer-Sale.

Udemy is having a sale. Offering lots of courses for 10$ only. Thought it'd be okay to share with fellow developers eager to learn new stuff.

The team in our office was forced to have, and I'm not kidding, TWO hours long agile meetings EVERY day. That's right, only 6 hours a day for work. Crazy managers

What happens when you give a database design to your boss as per what he wants done, he sees it is not impressed, scolds you, curses you out and claims you are 'fraud'. Then you tell him you can do better to redeem yourself...you submit the work better than the first time

And then he terminates you due to 'lack of proficiency'.

How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?

It's only August but I already know what I'll be thankful for come Thanksgiving:
1. Our next president.
2. Integration tests.

!rant
But still kindof a Rant...

I Just got my Oculus Rift (Summer Edition bundle)
And I was Soo happy to try the Oculus Touch Controllers!
Except, the Setup was pretty hard because I dont have so much room to move in and the Setup always said: GO FURTHER BACK!
Until I realized that it was because of the Sensors which I put in an Angle not 90°...
Oh hell I was trying for Like an hour until it worked.
But then the Experience was one which I NEVER had! (I Tried VR Rollercoasters, waterslides in VR, PSVR, The HTC Vive, and the gear VR, Oculus DK 1 and DK 2)
It got me a little dizzy after an hour and a half of smaching Robots into pieces...
But still really AMAZING!
So my advice, get it when its on Sale with the Oculus Touch or Just right away.
TL;DR
I bought the Rift and im really happy about it.

Why does the point of sale machine open the cash drawer for a credit card sale ? Seems like a vulnerability to me.

I know there is SoundCloud, Earbits for music... Sometimes I use YouTube.

I am coding to get to my beast mode but my YouTube mix picks up a song I don't want and then I change tabs just to skip or change your mix...then poooofff

ALL OVA SURRRDDDDEN

You are watching "scaring cats videos"

I was having second thoughts of buying another course from Udemy. Good thing I didn't. I've learned so much more from experience than I ever will with a beginner course.

I just got mindustry (which is currently on sale for $3) and it's a great tower defence, resource production, machine builder, tech tree researcher, sort of game! Really really worth the $3 and will probably appeal to a lot of people here.

So Vivo made a bezeless phone this time
But guess what its again gonna contain a fucking kazillion Megapixel Selfie camera with Mars Light Flash to make you look Unique paired with a shit mediatek Processor.
Also,
They have got stones from krypton and their next phone is gonna have krypton light flash just so the fuckin superman can't use that just because they partnered with marvel to get infinity stones so that they can use them in their later phones as a light for the selfie flash.
Guess what? Thanos preodered it ..
Well Played Vivo

WHY THE FUCK ARE CODECS STILL A THING?

Have we as a society not moved on and found like the 4/5 "good enough" movie formats. Fucking bullshit needing me to download VLC for the first time in years -.-

AND WHY THE FUCK ARE CODECS ON SALE ON MICROSOFT STORE???? WHAT?

So I make websites on the side for small time clients for some additional income. And without fail every time I sit down to work on this one site something goes wrong. First there were problems with the hosting, and now the template that the client chose is no longer for sale. I hope I'm not going to lose them over this :( I've sent them a list of alternative templates and contacted the company behind the original template to ask what is up. Real shame because they picked what I considered the favourite too and now I regret waiting to fork over the money to make the purchase.

I just built PHP 7 with pthreads... from my phone. I can't believe how far we got with the technology

A Chinese coworker who always brought a tea flavoured hand lotion bottle and applied it before coding on his finger tips and wore the same clothes from Monday to Friday changed only his shoes...

So what do you call people who like Apple devices only or Android devices only? Or someone who thinks Apple devices are superior only or Android devices are superior only ?

Devicist ???

It looks like Windows almost stopped me from exiting the mall. I had to call customer care to save me from situation. The toll station froze on me. Why Windows? Why?

talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.

i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.

which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.

Client push back: when the client wants an impractical feature to be implemented and you tell them HELL NO, with a little sugar coating of course

Strongly Typed TypeScript

May the developer Gods have mercy on me

I want to take advantage of amazon's prime day. But there's not much "techie" on sale.

Client: Can you put all the add on products we sell into the MDSL (Master Daily Sales Log)

Why aren't you adding them to the new console system? It allows you to add them and tracks all actions on the sale.

Client: The Health Agents don't know how to do that, and I think the manger hasn't added them into the system....yup he didn't add them.

Me: So how are you tracking the addon products you are selling?

Client: I don't know. Can you just add them to the MDSL.

Me: I wrote the console system to replace the MDSL, why are you using the spaghetti code system I wrote 8 years ago?

Client: They like it better because of this one report they use.

Me: I rewrote that report for the new system and it even gives more info.

Client: But the owner doesn't trust it, because it shows conversions and sales instead of just sales.

Me: ...

Built a e-commerce site using Laravel for the company I work for... I'm part time and only make $12 an hour and I'm technically just a system administrator. Half tempted not to give them the project until they sign a contract that either makes me full time and better pay or like 4% commission for every sale in the site for the first 2 years or something.

!dev

I need to stop buying things...

I just bought a Keurig and some coffee because it was on sale for Cyber Monday...

And well I've been buying other discretionary things like crazy for the last few months... including lots of cakes and chocolates...

Which prolly adds up to over $500 in 3 months...

Damn should've gotten a new credit card... All that spending would've gotten me $150 back...

TL;DR: Forwards and backwards buttons on mouse broke. Me sad!

grrr, bought a corsair dark core mouse (on sale) to use with my laptop (in school) because I got really sick my other mouse being wired. It has worked really well up until like a month ago where the fucking forwards and backwards buttons magically stopped working and will instead just type the numbers 1 and 2. This also happens only in Linux because iQueue, their driver software, is windows only.

It works fine otherwise, but goooood is it hard to live without the forwards and backwards buttons :<

That is strange. I have become developer at 27. Well, I 've decided to become a developer, to be honest, started to learn C++. I have tried lot's of things before: sale things, play bass guitar, copyrighting, driving a bulldozer. All reactions towards my choises was negative, and descision to become developer, programmer was like: "ok, do it"

When I was finding a domain name on godaddy, I got to know that buying domain name and selling it on high price is also a business. All the domain names that I want is now on sale(with premium costs on godaddy). Worth +$1200

Fuck Apple and their shitty macbooks

the MacBook air I bought a year ago as that was the only I could afford at that point is slowly giving up as this piece of shit lacks any sort of cooling. As soon as Xcode starts , temperatures reach 80-90C and don't even get me started on what happens when I provide builds.

Seriously, how do they get away with providing subpar hardware at such high prices. Their after sale services will literally cost me another MacBook. This "ecosystem" is just not worth it.

Sadness is:

India has oneplus 3t dash sale
And not having enough point to win it.

First, realize that trying to accurately estimate how much time something is going to take is akin to accurately predicting the future and that people who ask you to do it are stupid. Then realize that sales-oriented deadlines are the source of all that is evil. Then shift away from sales oriented software. Instead focus on selling existing features and new features on the roadmap have no deadlines, they're done when they're done. Then realize almost no workplace will let you truly do that because chasing the sale is all that matters despite the latest buzz word rhetoric. Then estimate enough buffer to give you a reasonable time to complete it without calling your abilities into question. Then finish it faster so you score points with management, but not every time because then they'll begin to expect it. Now you have leveled up in mind games, an unfortunate but necessary tool in the tool belt. Then hate on sales oriented software some more, rinse and repeat.

Steam winter sale cometh ❄️🖥️🎮
Me who wantst to gameth but hath no energy: 😔🤡

Md5 hashing only when making registering user details

Ransomeware for sale #wannacry !

Pycharm why you no allow me to continue to use the professional edition...

Damnn and they way pycharm has served me well

I've started my business in amazon with dropshipping. And I'm using the dropshipping tool extension which simply makes .csv file with computed prices and things from the product search I've made in amazon. But still I have to check all the products one by one and delete the ones which are not eligible for selling. And it takes like 1 hours for 100-150 products and after that I only have 3 or 4 products left.
So I've made a program to automate this by taking the csv file and checking the products itself and deleting not eligible products . And now I'm thinking of selling it. Is it better to sell it with monthly plan like $4/month or to sell it for $50?

There are days you feel like a God and there days you have no idea what you are doing in the dev space.

All in all perseverance with a whimsical tone

That feeling when anything you do in any platform can be done in Javascript and most likely there already is a library for it

What are your plans for Christmas?!?!!??

I normally won't engage in societal tropes like pointless, generic, smalltalk or those questions people ask for lack of independent thought/societal trope-isms....

Here's my templated answer this year:

Background = ~2k$ in piles of tech... server upgrades components, apparently the only managed switch left in business/non-custom enterprise networking in the country/indexed for sale
(2k in what I would pay.... my tech sourcing is more base level and +4 years pro exp(yea... since age 8... really))

Foreground.... a shiny ✨️ new, wonderfully discounted for dumb reasons that i appreciate... 10Tb LFF HDD! 🥹🥲🤩

I really like raw data... enough raw data and proper context relevant high-level, custom, precise algorithms and i genuinely believe literally any questions or problems can be quantified and solved for

So... I just keep getting data, life, sourcing, stats on human behaviour... i factor everything

Yes i realise im very odd

//initial context plus curiousities
As parsed out to somewhat tangential commentary below... i cant keep making people go away for societally viewed polite engagement. Therefore, when asked again by factory sales rep who enjoys verbosity and apparent finds me extremely worth his intrigue/personal time

// additional context (and my attempt to be more parse and comment conscious)

With a bunch of initial reveals and launches startjng in a week and technically being the "owner/boss"(cringy to me so Ive officially made my title (anywhere with custom input fields) DragonOverlord...dragons being a tied in theme to all sects and no one can say DragonOverlord isn't a position... as it's clearly a class... unless you find a human more style code ignorant, comment inept, and in need of a very multilingual scribe to create a lexicon 2 steps before my code would be even follow-able without a likely, bad, headache and davinci code like adventure including the improbably well placed wise scholars that just happen to have significant unique and vital information they are willing to freely share with strangers.

They say sleep is for the weak...

They lie...I am soo sleepy today

really surprised Gatorade isn't sued because it actually basically has no electrolytes in it and it wouldn't rehydrate you

but it's known for it, it advertises it on the damned bottle
but it has no goddamned electrolytes (or rather the things we consider electrolytes when humans say you need more electrolytes)

because citric acid "can conduct electricity" it has electrolytes!

but you specifically need potassium, magnesium, sodium, calcium 😒

they do have some sodium and a TEEEENY totally insignificant amount of potassium. and a SHITTON of instant sugar.

I impulse bought some on a sale because my blood pressure was so bad I was gonna drop at the hospital which were unhelpful twats, and it helped I think simply because I was in such such such a bad state (and the doctors just telling me I'm pregnant instead of checking me was pretty fucked up, too), but to restore balance to my body I need something else that doesn't give me fucking diabetes because it "rehydrates" wtf

and citric acid fuck who knows what happens to that. it has no potassium, magnesium, sodium, or calcium molecules in it. which I figured maybe it got decomposed into them but nada

I was at the pharmacy and spotted a bottle specifically claiming "electrolytes" right beside the pharmists and it similarly had no actual electrolytes and instead citric acid and a bunch of weird flavouring shit. how can these people sell this garbage. humanity is disgusting. they should be sued

Since MS wants to aquire Github which owns Atom, what do you guys think would happen to one of the largest rival of VSCode?
Would they merge them? Or github guys would separate it from the company before the sale?

What cheap/good quality node.js hosting provider for nodejs/react/mongodb app do you suggest? (including sale, black friday etc.)

So I bought a gtx1650 gpu for my old phenom II X4 pc. It didn’t work – the screen vent black in like five minutes after powering up the pc.

I was disappointed, but instead of returning the gpu, I bought all the other components to build a new pc on ryzen cpu. Including the gpu, it all was like $400 and I still have all my old parts to sale.

Now I’m here, playing all the latest games like doom and wolfenstein on ultra in 1080p 60fps and I’m more than happy.

I basically found a way to convert my bad experience into good experience. I’m just off my therapy, so all that bad experiences that may seem insignificant are a big deal for me.

I didn’t knew it was possible to make a good emotions out of bad emotions that easy. If only I knew the way to apply this strategy for any arbitrary situation.

(please miss me with that boomer bullshit like “nothing is wrong stop whining and get over it” etc. I’ve been there, I’ve done that and I needed medical treatment afterwards. “Getting over it” just doesn’t work)

Fuck companies that want you to build new systems that are a superset of what they already have when they can't even tell you what they have now. Fuck you with your bullshit, nonsensical, self-contradicting, third-assed diagrams--some half-UML, half-clip-art, half-pie-chart drivel. If you're the CTO of a company and you want me to think long and hard about rebuilding your distributed systems, you can think long and hard about expressing what you already have. And NO: a verbal explanation pow-pow WebEx over your DSL connection with your protege that mumbles worse than an Atlantan rapper doesn't count as fucking "knowledge transfer" of your fucking architecture, FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Why are you paying me to architect your new stack if you're just going to mandate that I use Guice and Jersey "because that's what you're using already"? I'm sorry. You're wrong. Spring Boot is not a "dying technology". I'm not going to build you a servlet from scratch. Get fukt.

New bossman is looking for KPIs.

We're an agile team who build a back end system for a large corporation. Specifically the system we build is used by the sales guys when they are putting through a sale. I have no idea where to start with KPIs.

Can't measure number of sales as that's down to the salesmen. Can't measure speed of sale as again that's down to the salesman and how much they chat.

Any ideas?

client: Your sh** page doesn't work, i haven't been able to do a single sale in hours...
me: have you tried to reload the page?
client: Of course i... oh wait, that was the problem, thanks anyways

Ahh... So Black Friday looks like it's gonna be black for me.

Sale started today but turns out they misprinted the prices and I guess after some more in depth thinking plus the amount of tax id have to pay... Doesn't feel worth it.

Will just wait till my current laptop craps out. Probably can squeeze out a few more years.

Client deescalation needed and intervention by company leader...

Client refuses to test - too much work they say.
Client wants a lot of changes - but cannot define what.
But most frustrating... Even as we tried to with all patience that was left to find out what they were doing aka how they work, what work flows, documents and so on were involved, they basically started a team discussion and seemed to work all differently...

And the project should be a complete sale and warehouse solution, suited and written for their needs.

Really? How can a company like this work?

It's not the first time I've dealt with hard projects or 'weird' customers, but really the first time I have no fucking clue what I should do.

Can someone please summon Ctulhu?