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What it's like to be a network engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue.
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I’m pretty sure the roads are down because I’m not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What do you mean you aren’t getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered them, now I’m not getting them. It has to be a road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are you getting pizzas from?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you check all places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don’t even know all the places that deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I’ll check…No, I just looked and Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I’m pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just allow all food from Subway and we can see if pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I’ve allowed all food from Subway, but I don’t think that is the issue.
User: Yeah I’m still not getting pizza. Can you check the roads?
Me: It’s not the roads, the roads are fine. I’m pretty sure Subway isn’t the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It’s Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one in a different town?
User: I don’t know. Can you allow pizza from all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can’t do that. Can you get me an address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns and I’ll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don’t have time for that. Okay, I looked at the local one and it looks like they have sent you pizza in the past and they are currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try ordering a pizza while I watch.
User: Yeah still no pizza. I’m guessing they are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you check the freeway to make sure they can get through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue.
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove from the Papa Johns to the address they have on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What’s your new address?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second…Okay, I found your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize for the delay in the pizza but there was a major road issue that was preventing the pizza from getting to me. The network engineer has fixed the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn’t the roads…whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue where Chinese food isn’t getting to me? I think it may be a road issue49 -
Hi sir i have a problem can you please teamview in and help
Me: sure no problem
Login....
Are you there ....
Hello whats the problem
40min later
Sorry i went out for lunch
😤😤😤😤😤7 -
Dear fellow developer,
You are not alone. No matter what situation you have been, you are in, you might be, there definitely are people who can share your pain and joy on similar wave length. Here at devrant.
Introvert?
Poor?
Alone?
Odd one out?
Trouble studying?
Family issues?
Debts?
Hate workplace?
Bad teacher?
Depression?
Laziness?
Forever alone?
Struggling?
Full of regrets?
Lost something?
Lost someone?
Lost?
You name it. All of us may not understand, sure. But there definitely will always be more than one person who will totally know what you are trying to say. Here at devrant only.
So whatever you are in, wherever you are and however you feel, just rant it out. 😄 And remember that we are one tap away from you.
For that devrant creators and most of all each and everyone of you have my eternal thank.72 -
On the last working day of our CEO.
CEO: As a software company, if we are to build an airplane would you ride on the airplane that we built?
Everyone was silent.
Me at the back of my head: I'll ride. I know for sure that the airplane will never start.9 -
My friend: OMG OMG OMG My laptop is dead!
Me: What do you mean it's dead? It doesn't even turn on?
My friend: Nooo, it does nothing?
Me: Are you sure it's plugged in?
My friend: Yesss
Me: You sure?
My friend: Yess, it's actually plugged into a multiple socket thingy...
Me: And that thing is plugged in to the wall..?
My friend: Well duh!
Me: And did you turn the switch on?
My friend: Of course I....oh, wait!! Never mind!!!!!
Me: >:/5 -
My boss is a bit annoyed that I’m listening to the music in my headphones during work.
“Are you sure it doesn’t make you lose the focus?”
Fuck you!
The will to quit is everyday greater.11 -
*opening cmd*
"wow, are you Hacking?"
me: "yah, sure. See that lamp? I can hack that."
"really?"
me: "sure".
*lamp flickers"
me: "I did that" 😂6 -
Me: Hey Dave, wanna hear a TCP joke?
Dave: Uhh, sure...
Me: OK I'll tell you a TCP joke..
Dave: Please don't.
Me: Are you ready to receive my TCP joke?
Dave:...
Me: OK I'm sending my TCP joke. It'll be 4 words long and 27 bits large.
Dave:... Screw this, I'm going home now.
6 -
Why is the "leave building"command now working?!?!?! Are you sure it's a Git command?? .... Oh shit.
14 -
Who the fuck thought this feature would be a good idea?!
*holds the power button because want to reboot*
*presses reboot in the tiny menu*
*walks away to return in about an hour*
"Are you sure you want to reboot?" *cancel and OK buttons*
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.5 -
You: I am working on an Instagram clone just for fun. Want to take a look?
Friend: Sure. Where are all the filters?
You: They are a work in progress.
Friend: Instagram is better.9 -
- It's a game, play it
- Come prepared
- It's better to say "not sure" or "don't know" than bullshit
- Don't write in the CV (or mention during the interview) things you don't want to be asked about
- Sound eager and enthusiastic about your profession because no one likes a downer
- the interview is a sales meeting, you are the goods, be sure to be a good salesman10 -
Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* We need to do B
Dev: I know, you created a ticket for it yesterday
Manager: Yeah but it hasn’t been done yet. It needs to get done.
Dev: I’m currently working on A which is higher priority
Manager: Ok but B needs to be done too
Dev: I know, it’s next on my board
Manager: I’m just making sure you are aware of it
Dev: I am aware of it, it’s next on the board
Manager: Ok but make sure you do it after A
Dev: Yup it’s next up
Manager: Ok, don’t let anyone distract you
Dev: …9 -
Probably the first one to get kickass devDucks! Thanks @dfox for hand delivering them. You always make sure that I have swags before everyone. Ducks are amazing and great great great quality. Duck currently I’ve on my desk gonna feel jealous now!
5 -
/*The following dialogue is an excerpt from an actual conversation I had a couple of hours ago*/
Microsoft support:
Please check that you've installed the correct version of JavaScript in the Control panel.
Me: JavaScript isn't standalone software.
MS: Are you sure you downloaded JS from Oracles website then?
Me: *ended the chat*1 -
Just reduced 900 lines of horrible code into 106 lines of less horrible code..
QA: do those 106loc really do what the 900loc did ?
Me: yes
QA: really?
Me: yes
QA: are you sure?
Me: NO. I was lying. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you should run it and find out.
QA: *immediately releases for prod*3 -
Mac: Hello welcome please sign in
Dev: Fair enough
Mac: Oh you haven’t signed in in awhile please get get verification from other device
Dev: kk
Mac: Oh you don’t have a dev account, please sign in on this website
Dev: Hm.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account you need to download this app
Dev: ???
Mac: Are you sure you want to open this app you just downloaded?
Dev: Sigh.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account on this app you need to sign into it
Dev: For the love of god
Mac: Ok now you can build with Xcode.
Xcode: No you can’t. You have to sign in
Dev: fuck sakes.
Mac: Are you sure you want Xcode to access files on your computer?
Dev: …Yup
Xcode: Signing in isn’t enough you have to select the fact you are signed in a dropdown nested 3 menus deep.
Dev: God damn.
Xcode: Build failed please sign in to phone as well.
Phone: New sign in detected, please verify with alternative device.
Dev: Jesus.
Xcode: Build success! Pushing to iPhone.
Dev: Finally.
Xcode: Unknown error occurred. Please go to support.apple.com for help. :)
Dev: …20 -
Dad : Stop playing games so much
Me : I'm working on a project dad, not playing games
Dad : Then what do you call that *points to my 2nd screen on the side*
Me : That's the project, i'm making that game
Dad : Sure you are
Me : *changes bunch of stuff* see...
Dad : Ok i believe you *leaves the room*5 -
Me: Boss, your new project is ready, we've tested the technical aspect but we're waiting on your approval before deploying, will you test it?
Boss: yeah sure, I'll test it in 5
*2 weeks later*
Boss: why isn't that project deployed yet?
Me: you haven't tested it, and we haven't gotten approval
Boss: oh right, I'll go test it right now!
*2 weeks later*
Boss: I NEED that project to go live RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!!
Me: sure, have you tested it yet?
Boss: nope, but I need it
Me: well, I'll put it live, but me and my colleagues are shifting responsibility to you, since you haven't tested it. Are you sure?
Boss: yeah, yeah whatever...
*put product online*
*2 days later*
Angry call from boss, bugs have been found, tell him that he approved the state of the product and that the bugs will go on the to-do list...
Boss is extremely pissed, but recognized his mistake...
Now, the boss actually tests everything thoroughly at the moment we tell him to! No more bugs, complaints, and I got a raise!5 -
$sis: hey $me, can you help me?
$me: Uhm, sure, what's wrong?
$sis. The printer doesn't work..
$me: what does it say?
$sis: what do you mean?
$me: like, when you try to print something, what does it say?
$sis: uhm... idk...where should it say something
$me: On your screen you should be getting an error message right?
$sis (now getting irritated for some reason): no it doesn't..
$me: okay, let me check it out
*I walk to the printer with my sister's laptop and plug in the usb*
*Select printer > click print*
"Printer offline"
$me: was it also saying this before
$sis: uhm...yes
$me: ok
At this point im already getting a bit fed up
$me: are you sure this port is working
$sis: yes, I am sure
Okay, check other ports just to be sure, also don't work.
After about 15 minutes of debugging, turns out she managed to unplug the cable on the printer...
And all I got was a "o thanks"
Fml4 -
HR: Hi we got your application. We'd like to schedule a call. Can you fill this out to pick a time?
Me: Sure, sorry first I'd like to ask a question. You are based on the other side of the country and i'm not able to relocate. Are you open to remote workers? Your job spec didn't mention either way.
HR: GREAT question! At this moment no we are not. We need people here on site. If you'd like, we can have a call to discuss if you fill out the form.
Me: ..... take time out of my day so you can tell me "No" again? ..... i'm alright thanks13 -
Dev of other system : Oh hey, we're implementing a change to this part of the system, will it affect you at all?
Me: Sure, I'll check it out. When are you planning to go live?
Other Dev : Oh it went live yesterday...
🤬😭2 -
Recruiter: hi, I have an iOS Developer role. Would you be interested?
Me: sure, send me on the spec.
Recruiter: ok great so for this Full stack app developer role we are looking for someone with:
- 5+ years embedded C/C++ experience
- 5+ years of working with Windows and Linux
- Native Android development
- As well as Native iOS experience
Interested?
Me: ......... ok buddy, you and me are going to have a little chat about what “iOS Developer” means17 -
I got assigned approximately 20 tasks, all are high priority.
Coworker got assigned 2 tasks, (“like fix button sizes and padding”, “localisation “)
He completed.
I got questioned: “are you sure you are a senior developer? Are you doing your work at all? If your coworker can finish low priority tasks in a day , why you as a senior can’t? “
Me :”if you have the ability to see , please tell me how many tasks I have that are in high priority.”
“Exactly, I need you to complete it now , I expect more from you as a senior. “
Me: “why not you tell me which tasks are higher priority? Because can’t be all are urgent. If everything is urgent , nothing is urgent.”
“Stop giving excuses, be a team player.”
Me :” how is it making excuses for asking urgencies of the tasks?”
“Hahaha you called yourself a senior. What a joke”
Me:”likewise, you called yourself a Project manager yet can’t manage. What a joke indeed.”18 -
Manager: Please make that text in plane white.
FullStackClown: Oooo, that's a tough one. What's plane white?
Manager: Are you serious? You literally don't know what the color white is?
FullStackClown: Well sure I know what white is, but I'm not sure what plane white is, there are dozens of airliners, and I'm sure they all have slightly different shades of what they are using for their light color in branding...
Manager: ...
FullStackClown: ...12 -
Dad: What are you doing with your life?
Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?
My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.13 -
"Hey, about that matter from yesterday..."
"Yes, what about that?"
"We need to talk about that again! How often do you trigger that system?"
"Once."
"You sure?"
"Yes, but i can check it, if you like."
*find references*
"See, only once."
"Can it happen at a random point later one?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Can you check it?"
"Okay."
*shows code"
"Look here, as you can see, it will not happen at other times."
"Do you have an idea why it could happen anyway?"
"Maybe that system does the action without my software telling it to do so, wasn't that specified that way?"
"Yes, but it normally does that roughly 10 seconds after you give the command the first time, so we thought maybe you could say what makes it do the action at other points maybe."
"Did you check that systems sourcecode?"
"No not yet. But did that happen with the older version?"
"No. But we didn't try."
"Did you change something between the versions?"
"Yes, the new feature."
"Could that make a change in behaviour?"
"I don't see how."
"Can you remove that feature for test?"
"We can take the old version."
"No, we need the new version, but without the feature you added."
"That IS the old version, there is no other difference!"
"Are you sure?"
"Would you like to see it in source control?"
"No, ~ okay. What do you think causes the problem?"
"I haven't had any new ideas since we talked yesterday."
"Okay. Mhhh,...okay. Lets talk again later."
YES SURE! BRING IT ON! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT! PLEASE COME BY OR CALL ME AGAIN! AND BRING THE BOSS WITH YOU, TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS THE MATTER IS! LET ME TELL HIM THE STUFF I TOLD SEVEN TIMES LAST WEEK!2 -
Client: I will send the design you just make it.
Me: uhh,..are you sure you can do it?
Client: ofcourse i can
*2 days later, sends this*
6 -
My fellow students as high school freshmen: You can code right?
Me: Yup
Them: So can you like hack the school and better my grades(they are all honor students btw)
Me: *Sure, want me to hack paypal and get you some cash too?*
Them: Jeez just asked for a tiny favor.10 -
Fuck. My new job in the public sector requires me to sign paper applications to access JIRA or git. It takes them 4 days to process, so now I am waiting at home doing nothing. I’ll still get paid a competitive developer salary, though.
If you are a EU citizen from a country that subsidizes Poland, you can be sure that your taxes are well spent on my couch :)9 -
Teacher: Computer settings are stored in the ROM on the motherboard.
Me: *internally* Uhm, yea, sure... and I am the pope
Me: Sorry to interrupt you but how come the BIOS settings get reset when the CMOS battery is pulled out or dies if they are stored in ROM?
Teacher: ....
Me: *internally* yea, that's what I thought, you have no clue what you are even saying - the BIOS is stored in ROM or flash memory while the settings are stored in NVRAM also called CMOS memory...10 -
Client: Hi there, we worked together I few months ago and loved what you created for us! We have another job and would like to see if you are available?
Me (1h later): Sure! Let me know more details about this new project.
Client (15min later): Oh, sorry, since you took so long to respond, we've decided to choose another freelancer. Thank you anyways!!
Me: ...5 -
Just wanted to say cheers to all those coders among you who make sure their login is encrypted, their passwords are hashed and salted, their codes are tested and their forms are code injection safe.
No client will understand what you did, so take my props for it! After all, its our responsibility to make sure software is secure. That's all :) -
Friend ask me,
Friend: are all developers single?
Me: of course not
Friend: you sure?
Me: yep
Friend: then why you single?
Me: because i am a developer
Friend: what?
Me: nah im just joking, when i find the girl that can understand my code i know she's the one.
Friend: I hope theres someone that can understand that.43 -
A: There is not even a single forum for cyber security. Let's build one.
Me: Are you sure that there is not even a single forum?
A: Yes, I'm a cyber security expert. I have 5 years of experience in this field.
Me: **walks out quitely**1 -
Campaign manager: I don't see my campaign on portal xxx.
Me: Are you sure? I can see it correctly...
CM: Yes, I don't see anything.
Me: Do you have an ad blocker on?
CM: ... Oh, right.
#eyeroll
-
A day before the deadline.
Project manager decides that we are ready to publish the same app with the iPad version too. Without asking dev team.
+Yep, sure. What could go wrong?
I'll keep you posted.2 -
I'm gonna deploy today. On Friday. On my last day of work.
MyCompany, are you sure that you want to end short-time employments on Fridays?1 -
$ npm audit
> found 19 vulnerabilities (10 low, 5 moderate, 3 high, 1 critical)
$ npm audit fix
> fixed 0 of 19 vulnerabilities in 11987 scanned packages
> (use `npm audit fix --force` to install breaking changes; or do it by hand)
$ npm audit fix --force
> npm WARN using --force I sure hope you know what you are doing.
Me too, buddy. Me too.1 -
This is for all the junior devs and people moving into the corporate world.
Remember, HR is there to protect the company, NEVER the employee.
Do not fall for the okie-doke when they tell you they are there to help.
If destroying you is cheaper in the long run than damage to the company then be sure they will slit you from ear-to-ear.5 -
Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.
Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.
Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to
Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission
Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.
Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)5 -
"Quality CSS" is much a fucking misnomer. As someone whose been writing this shit at scale for 15+ years I can tell you all CSS code is garbage. The only thing you should do is make sure you don't have name collisions. Classes/components are self contained. And use variables when possible. DRY makes sense usually, but if you're dogmatic about it you shoot yourself in the foot.9
-
Our PM found a contractor, results as expected..
Contractor: "The file you supplied is corrupt, some areas are greyed out and damaged"
Me: "😐, do you mean the comments?"
Contractor: "I'm not sure what you mean 'the comments'"
Me: "Does the file work as expected?"
Contractor: "Yes"
Me: "Strange! I'll have a chat with our PM and get this issue resolved right away 😉"
...
if(!contractor) {
return Promise.resolve()
}1 -
Me: Are you writing data to the disk?
Them: No
Me: Are you sure?
Them: Maybe a little
Me: The disk on that machine is full
Them: Actually I'm writing gigabytes of duplicated data to a random location, use some of it and delete none of it
Me:
Them:
Makes you wanna punch a dev.14 -
Developer: Changes are difficult from here, are you sure this is how you want it. 🤔
Client: yes. 👍
Developer: ((3;"'&}×π{sk*[=¶^[|) ☕😴
Client: Oh, actually can we have this too and maybe remove this bit because we don't need it now thanks. ☺️
🤐🙃🔫3 -
We mistakenly think that you need motivation to start something. The reality is that often you just need to start and then the motivation will come. And when it goes away again, you just keep on going. Because while it sure is helpful, you are still capable of doing something without.3
-
The relentless feeling that slowly has over taken my waking life. The feeling that if I am not coding, learning or becoming better at coding I am wasting my time. I can't even watch movies anymore without reading articles. This is the worst thing about being a Dev, how when you are a dev you are nothing else.
At least for me, not sure how common this feeling is.10 -
Friend: hey can you make me a website?
Me: sure, what is it for?
Friend: 'whatever the site is for'
Me: Ok, what are the different tabs you want for the navigation bar?
Friend: Ummm... Idk yet
Me: Ok... So do you have an idea what you want the website to look like?
Friend: Ummm just make it look pretty
Me:
2 -
Good luck to team devRant at the TNW NYC conference today. We are sure you will make our global devRant community proud as always. Thanks for all you do!
-
If you think about it, modern webpages and anal sex are pretty much the same.
Sure, you can do it, but it wasnt designed for that and you will probably end up with a shitfest.7 -
"We make sure not to discriminate in our hiring process"
"Now please, trust us with your crucial personal details like sexuality, religion and what colour you are"13 -
"Hi, our client is looking for a dot net developer, and we think you'll be a good fit."
- you got the wrong person i believe.
"you list laravel & phalcon.. Those are .net?"
I'm not sure what to say here, a recruiter whom doesn't see my employed tag & doesn't know how to Google..
Laravel & phalcon is .net.. Aaallrighty then.6 -
!dev
I am about to move into my own house. Yay. But every ISP I called is very insistent that there is no house there.
"Are you sure you entered the right building number? The entered house does not exist." Yes it does! And it has existed since 1912...
Stupid Germany with its stupidly bad internet infrastructure. I guess that's what you get for privatizing the network.7 -
Le Discord login:
*logs in*
Welcome back! Would you please authenticate after your first and successful login, so that we're sure that you're not a bot?
*15 (I shit you not) craptchas later*
New login location detected! Please check your email too!
FOR FUCKING REAL DISCORD!? How about you please just let me fucking log in already? Or are your audience - gamers - really *that* prone to infections that logins from bots are that big of a problem? Because guess what motherfuckers, then you've got *WAY* bigger problems to fix already. FUCKING LET ME IN!19 -
[Dark Rant]
I'm sick of this stupid tech world.
Don't get me wrong, I love tech. I just can't stand anymore the global brainwashing that we're part of.
Think about all the huge companies making profit on our data. For a better service, yeah sure, but do we really understand what the cost is?
Ok sure, you don't care about your data because you trust these companies and the advantages are all worth it. What about the fact that we are all forced to buy the next new smartphone after 2 years?
Like if removable batteries were a problem for us, users. Or like the audio jack. Because now someone decided that the pricey wireless headphones are Just What You Need™.
Do you think you own your smartphone?
No, you don't. You are paying a bunch of money for something that soon will be just a useless brick of glass and metal which you can't repair. But you'll be happy anyway.
Someone is so happy to the point that they will defend their favorite company, doesn't matter how they decided to stick it into their ass.
Open your eyes, you've been brainwashed.25 -
(applying to a developer position)
interviewer : So, do you like to code?
me : of course!
interviewer : Are you sure? because this is a developer position and women prefer something more administrative than coding.
me : Wow! nobody told me that before. If I had known I wouldn't have studied this.
didn't expect to be called back after that...7 -
$girl -pretty
_
ctrl-c
$girl -pretty -v
you don't have permission to the necessary files (e.g. skills_communication, confidence, ...)
#girl -pretty
Are you sure you want to continue? This is considered harassment in some cultures and can seriously harm the health of your system. [y/N]
N
$
aww shit...19 -
Work: there is little work for our freelancer we're getting rid of him at the end of the year
Me: are you sure, that will put a lot of work on my schedule.
Work: I'm sure you can handle it
*two weeks later*
Work: have you finished feature xyz yet
Me: nope had a server crash today so pushed it back
Work: why didn't you get "free lancers name here" to do it for you
Me: I could of if you didn't fire him, he could of also done the other features you want too
Work: ah ok1 -
SMM: Can you chat over the phone? Just want to make sure we are on the same page! I am not great with web lingo!
Me: Sure.
Me, internally: You're a social media manager. That's literally your one fucking job.3 -
Almond, are you there?
> Sure, of course.
Oh ok, it said you were on mute.
> I was, I always go on mute if I'm not talking to help cut down on background noise **hint hint**
That's very confusing for the rest of us, can you leave your mic on please?
> Right... Okay.8 -
Avoiding bad companies starts at the job interview. Remember that the job interview is not only for them to evaluate you, but also the other way around. Make sure to ask a lot of questions. What are they doing, how are they working, what help is there if you get stuck, are they doing code reviews, what will you be doing etc.
The job interview is the opportunity for you to get an inside view of the company. Don’t just accept any job because you are desperate. Luckily qualifies devs are much needed in companies.
Also, make sure to go to multiple job interviews so you can see the differences. I think it can be difficult to avoid in the beginning, but as you get more experience, you can sort of tell whether it’s a good or bad company at the job interview.
Though sometimes you are just unlucky. In that situation: leave. It is so good damn easy to get a job in this field.3 -
I'M TIRED OF HEARING THAT DEVELOPMENT IS NOT A CREATIVE FIELD! Creativity is emerging new ideas from non-existent ones. It is not confined to pretty designs or well-written copy. Sure, devs are logical problem solvers – but not a single dev will solve those problems the same way. Code is like the paint on our dark-themed canvases and you can see yourself out if you think devs are just robotic coding machines8
-
PM: Can you fix this issue with the file upload?
me: Sure, give me the file that's having the issue so I can figure out why that specific one isn't working.
PM: Oh... it wasn't working so I deleted it.
Me: OK, are there any other files that cause this error.
PM: No... it was a single case. You can fix it anyway, right?3 -
Yeah sure Phillips, Lets not support android 7. Because when you make an electronic device controlled by an app that helps people with chronic pain. I'm sure those people would like to spent their afternoon finding out how to downgrade android just to keep using it.
The device is called pulserelief and when its working its great :) but when you're in pain you really are NOT IN THE MOOD TO DOWNGRADE YOUR ANDROID VERSION. -
Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?
I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".
It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.
Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.12 -
Boss, yesterday: hey, we just got you a Windows 10 machine. Test the app and make sure it works.
Me: kay. (Fast forward20 minutes) I found a hell of a bug.
Boss: what?
Me: the SA disabled scripts on the machine so I can't build.
Boss: Are you serious?
Me: yeah, and he's out until January.6 -
Which do you think designers are tired of hearing?
"Make the logo bigger"
"Looks great but can you make it pop"
"Can you make it pretty"
"Something is missing in the design but I'm not sure what is."
After 15 Revisions
"I think the first design you made was better."8 -
recently people have been worried about what people were going to say I.e "no hate" , don't hold back!
In devrant we only mean light hearted banter if we are pissed we don't want to hurt you we are pissed at a thing and not directly at you. Not that I speak for dfox or trogus but I'm sure that's what they are going for, and it's what ive seen!
We are nice here... This isn't YouTube , it's a credit to devs we are nice people. Hell it isn't stack overflow!
Also I'm brutally honest at times but I love you really.
10 -
Me - Yeah great so you say it's big data we are gonna be analyzing and having to store, are you currently utilizing a service and aggregating any of it into smaller manageable segments?
Client - well yeah it's lots and lots of data, we can share it with you if you sign a nda.
Me - ok... sure, how are you gonna share it with me.
Client - oh I can email you the spreadsheet.
Me - .... Spreadsheet ... Um... Ok... 'Stands up and walks away to tell this as the most interesting meeting of the month, to some one that will get it'
--
Buzz word for the win!9 -
Me: Are you sure you want this in the acceptance test procedure?
Lead: Yes.
Me: I'm just saying, we don't have any requirements for this feature so it doesn't really belong there.
Lead: Just put it in.
Me: Are you sure? It's a lot of work for something that isn't even required to be there.
Lead: Go do it.
Me: Okay.
*I do the work and it goes to peer review*
High ranking person from another team: I don't see any requirements traceability. Why is this in here if there are no requirements?
Me: WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GODDAMN QUESTION!?3 -
quote of the daily standup
"<colleague>, can you make sure to show the cat when you are stroking it... otherwise it's a bit suggestive"
(his camera filter filtered the cat out and the cat was sitting on his lap)5 -
My uncle: „You are good with computers, right? My Word is broken, repair that.“
Yeah sure, let me just call my bros at Microsoft and repair your Word with them 🤨 -
It's a new semester and the introductory class for a General Ed is going on.
Prof: What do you want to be when you are done with engineering?
Me: I'd like to be in the security domain but I'm still not sure.
Prof: Then why are you doing Computer Science? You can just get a job as a security personnel.
FML.2 -
IT Head: Hey, can you check out why application X isn't working? I've already restarted it and it isn't working anymore.
Me: sure.
Me 20 mins later: hey, looks like it is all good, website is normal, server resources are normal, etc...
IT Head: no no, the windows sync app isn't working.
Me inside: are you fucking kidding me you piece of stupid shit? Quit IT for good and die.3 -
If you are completely new to coding, no problem at all! All of the concepts are fully explained throughout the exploration. Just keep in mind that it might be tough and frustrating and times. But don't give up! Coding isn't always easy, but it sure is fun when you get it right.
-
How it would be if Microsoft built cars:
*press break pedal*
Message Box:"Are you sure you want to break?"
User:"Yes"
Message Box:"Are you sure?"
User:"Yes"5 -
Me : Can I have your Server Access to deploy project.
Client : I don't have server. I will run it on my laptop.
Me : Okay, Are you sure? And do you have static IP?
Client : what's that?
😂1 -
At the end of each work day, once I am sitting down, I take a moment to do a little stress relief exercise.
I get in my car, make sure all doors/windows are shut, make sure the coast is clear, and I yell at the top of my lungs.
The relief is almost instant. And even if it was a good day, sometimes a good, loud yell can just help to relieve any build up tension, anxiety, or stress you may not have known you were under. Give it a try (:2 -
Coz drinking milk is a skill every CS student need for his/her LinkedIn profile. Sure, the recruiter's and company's job is to make sure you are proficient milk drinker.
5 -
I hate it when marketing people decide they're technical - quote from a conference talk I regrettably sat through:
"The fourth industrial revolution is here, and you need to make sure you invest in every aspect of it - otherwise you'll be left in the dust by companies that are adopting big data, blockchain, quantum computing, nanotech, 3D printing and the internet of things."
Dahhhhhhhhhh6 -
I've been taking a bunch of boot camp 'entry' type tests to do some research for the school I'm building - and these things are strange. To qualify, some of them want to make sure you can do basic algebra and others want you to be very comfortable with higher-order JS function type stuff - and then you get questions like this : /
4 -
I’m sure many of you are well aware of this, but I just ran across this today and found it amusing. Apparently, Chrome uses the term “zygote” to identify child processes. 😁
2 -
When you start inspecting code of the page you are using, and you find something like this...
Not sure if I want to make this reservation anymore...
1 -
Boss: "do you have a minute?"
Me: "sure"
Boss: "I have this problem, can you just stop doing whatever you are doing and fix it for me?"
Me internally: *no I don't, what I'm doing right now is fixing another one of your problems for which you've interrupted other work already"
Me: "Yeah sure, gimme some time"
Can't afford to fail my internship and I don't want a shitty work environment which I why I don't speak my mind...
But man this is tiring...2 -
Using circuit simulator (can find it on itch.io) and recently built an 8bit adder as you can see below.
Pins on left are IN and pins on right are OUT.
Just wanted to run it by some of you because 1. circuit simulator is fucking cool, 2. I'm not sure if I got the basics correct.
I attached an imagine of the 8bit adder along with the subcircuits if that interests you.
7 -
That moment when you are just testing a web framework, you type some random text, open in browser, and Google asks whether it could translate it. Yea sure... go ahead! 😛
5 -
Email from boss: Have a nice weekend everyone!
Colleague A's reply: The weather is gonna be bad...
PM: Oh then A, you can stay at home and make sure the sites are working over the weekend!
5 seconds later boss replied:
Oh enjoy watching the sites then!
I can tell you two are from the same pile of turd *smh* -
Problems with redis... timeout everywhere...
30k READs per minute.
Me : Ok, How much ram are we actually using in redis ?
Metrics : Average : 30 MB
Me ; 30 MB, sure ? not 30 GB ?
Metrics : Nop, 30 MB
Me : fuck you redis then, hey memory cache, are you there ?
Memory cache : Yep, but only for one instance.
Me ok. So from now on you Memory cache is used, and you redis, you just publish messages when key should be delete. Works for you two ?
Memeory cache and redis : Yep, but nothing out of box exists
Me : Fine... I'll code it my selkf witj blackjack and hookers.
Redis : Why do I exist ?2 -
Friend: Oh god! Are you sure you wanna eat that bunch of garlic?!
Me: Sure. I'm working backend.
Friend: Never mind.5 -
End user when criticizing a developer for 'taking long' to create something of value from scratch:
(4 hours later): "What's taking you so damn long? Are you retarded?"
Oh I don't know, maybe I have to make sure that tests in my code run well, maybe I have to evaluate everything to meet the custom satisfactions of the user for his ever-so-custom requirements and I also have to make sure I discard what they don't like? And maybe it takes time to deliver a quality product, and so on?
Or would you prefer I deliver an untested product that I didn't bother to think about and I haven't bothered to make sure it matches with their requirements?
What end users don't understand is the involvement in a quality product.2 -
"Guys, I'm going to change my studies next year, I'll be studying IT, programming, stuff about computers"
"You mean, they threw you out of mechanical engineering and you are forced to do that?"
"No, I chose it myself, I'm not interested in mechanical engineering anymore."
"But you love it, you repaired your car! (WTF???) But are you sure there are jobs for what you are studying now?"
"Well, much more than in mechanical engineering actually..."
Like, they didn't notice that I'm fond of IT stuff since I'm 13... C'mon guys...3 -
Boss asks us to make sure out documents/instructions to clients are idiot-proof. I am not disagreeing this but usually clients are more idiotic than the most idiotic idiot you can ever imagine...4
-
I gave this so called web developer username and password to ssh into our server. This is his reply:
"Hey we tried to log into your server. We are getting permission error. Please fix that"
Me: Sure, can you tell me how are you trying to connect?
"We tried to ssh like this: ssh root@xxx.com"
Me (in my mind): WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU USING ROOT FOR!?!9 -
PM: are you free next week for an hour to catch up?
Me: sure no problem
PM: Does tomorrow 15:00 work?
Me: hmm 🤔 is today thursday or is it sunday already? -
1. a client asks you to create an API for their system
2. you do what's requested
3. a year later you are curious how's that API doing. Client's devs decided to
[
"com.client.app.some.Datamodel$Subclass",
{
"someField": [
"java.util.ArrayList",
["SMTH","SMTH_ELSE"]
]}
]
sure, why not, right.....?9 -
Conference call with customer:
Me: You want your customers to see orders that YOU cancelled on them? Are you sure about that? Won't that upset some of them?
Customer: Nope we want that.
Me: Uh ok....
-weeks later-
Customer: OMG OUR CUSTOMERS CAN SEE ORDERS WE CANCELLED!!!
ʅ͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡(ƟӨ)ʃ͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡
Like bro, I'm just the programmer but sometimes we understand things ..... stop and listen for a moment...4 -
kinda long but please read (skip to the bullets if you're lazy):
hey dR. I stumpled across a search engine that aims to help the environment. it's called "Ecosia" and it will plant a tree for every ~45 searches you make. just think, one stubborn bug could make you the reason for a new forest! I'm not sure if it's legitimate or not, but apparently it uses 80% of its profits to plant trees, and makes that profit from ads. is it safe to use? I'm not sure.
here is what you should know (some are based on claims by ecosia and aren't proved, but probably true):
- they plant a tree for about every 45 searches you make
- they are able to plant trees by using money from ads
- they "respect privacy"
- they're "fully transparent"
- they're a "social buisness"
- [I hope this isn't a turnoff] the search results are powered by bing
- since 1.9, vivaldi has included ecosia as one of the preset search engines (I'm not sure if it's the default)
- it has opera, firefox, and chrome extensions
thanks!11 -
Love when the client knows more than you and tells you to create a report on an imaginary tool they are 100% sure it exists because their friend is an SEO expert and thinks all pages should be running at a 100 percent on lighthouse. Fml.2
-
On any given morning, when I"m not quite sure what to tackle first.... there's always:
sudo apt update
Ahh, now I feel like I did something.
"dude! are you hacking!?"
shutup, haven't had coffee yet. -
Friend: I'm making a benchmark programm for CPUs. Wanna help me?
Me: Yeah sure, what language are you using?
Friend: Java.4 -
This rant is not about avoiding bad company but instead: If you find your self in a bad company make sure to note what is bad in terms of:
1. What is wrong?
2. Is it wrong by your book or by everyone's book?
3. How things should be done if you were in charge?
4. Are you able to be productive if those "wrong" things where done correctly? For example if they should have used gitlab cli for auto deployment, do you know how to do that? No? Learn. Yes? Move to the next item in the list
There is no way to avoid bad companies unless you are really lucky, just make the best out of where you are now :)2 -
"hey good job on the peepeepoopoo server, could you deploy it on this vps?"
Uh sure, i hope you are prepared for my bill at the end of the month for the devops tasks1 -
Ahahaha.
I'm creating a "bring with you" Linux install. So I got a 512 GB USB key. (You know, to even have some persistance).
Linux flashing tool : are you sure ?
Fun :)
14 -
Everytime i tell the tester that the reported issue is fixed. It should all be good now.
He raises an eyebrow and says
"Should be? And Are you sure?" With a smirk.
I can never answer that :/ -_-2 -
*some* devs with their multiple monitors are like my 3 flatmates with their multiple shower products.
5 -
@AlexDeLarge and any other React guys, which do you prefer? Traditional css files, whether that be vanilla or with a preprocessor, or style objects for each component.
There are some pretty clear pros i can identify for both sides, but I'm pretty sure I'm missing somethings and I'd like to hear from you guys your opinions and experiences with either27 -
Me: *clicks Ctrl+C by instinct*
Oh no! It'll take a whole minute to restart...
Vue CLI: Are you sure you want to terminate the server?
Yay! It didn't terminate! No, I do NOT want to terminate the server thank you.
Vue CLI: *terminates anyways*4 -
-me tries to create a website builder.
mom: Can you just stop playing videogames all the time and get a job?
-me shows her money
- mom: well fine.
Next week same loop.
im sure you are familiar with this. -
Fucking hell. When you go to bed sorta early, but can't stop thinking about your latest project for some fucking reason. So you wake up hours later STILL thinking about it, thus you aren't even sure if you slept at all. Doesn't feel like it. What the fuck? Programming, are you my goddamn love interest or what? Anyone knows the feeling?1
-
When a manager asks if you can implement a feature (their are legitimately not sure if it is even possible) and you say yes and they say, "Good, 'cause I already assured the client that we would provide it on the next release"
Like, what the actual fuck...1 -
Dear team leader, If you tell me „I need to review this merge request before merging”, then make sure you are able to allocate time to do this.
If you need MORE THAN A WEEK to even start, then maybe your delegation skills are nonexistent. -
John Cena : You can't see me !
A frustrated coder : No problem , I'll Java you. I'll Java you until I make sure you are portable , WWE-oriented and ofc .. visible . Say hi to Nikki .
-
Introduction:
Privileged in this context means logged in and have a administrator-confirmed access.
Customer calls us: Why do I see prices in my shop? I should have been privileged first to see them. Looks to me that you did not make prices only get displayed when I am privileged.
Salesman: Sure we did this. May I asked whether you are logged in right now?
Customer: Of course. I am testing the process of placing an order with my test customer account.
*crickets*
Customer: I am so sorry for calling. You are right.2 -
When you hear the data engineers talk about ambari, storm, sqoop, kafka & phoenix and you are not sure if they are talking about frameworks or pokemons..
2 -
Freecad isn't open source software!
If it is impossible to get something compiled, it can't be open source.
When you can't compile it, all, that is left, is to use a binary.
If there is only a binary, it isn't open source.
Seriously: If you are participating in an open source project, please make sure, that compiling from source is a viable option for the generic gentoo user. Thank you.10 -
IHateForALiving: I created a trigger on the model, every time you perform a save it should fire an event. You're calling the same methods I am, and the trigger is NOT firing. Are you sure we are running in the same process?
TheTeamLeader: I'm manually starting this whole piece of code in your same process, there must be something wrong on your side if it's not working
90 minutes of debugging later
TheTeamLeader: there's the thing! Your hooks are registered in a separate process, of course they are not firing
IHateForALiving:
1 -
She: Hey, if I send you a video (made of photos), could you please rotate the images (they are rotated 45 degrees)?
Me: hmmm sure.
*She sending the video*
Me: Wait... there is some text over the rotated photos...
She: That's a problem?
Are you fucking kiding me? How the fuck I can rotate *only* the images in a video where you put also some text (not rotated)???
Can't you visualize that if I do that, the text will be rotated 45 degrees and the video will be still wrong? -
Ok that's nice and all Google but how about you fix the fucking UI, laggy interfaces, janked and half baked tablet mode and just all round fix what you broke from chromeOS 70 onwards?
You know.. make sure things are stable before pretty?
5 -
Friend: can you take a look at my code, there’s this bug that I’m having trouble with.
Me: yea sure.
Friend shows me IntelliJ with the default white theme...
Me: WTF man, my eyes are burning.
Never looking at his code again. At least until he changes to a dark theme.3 -
Founder: Are you sure you want to join this startup?
Candidate: 100% sure Sir
Founder: Startups are risky, what if we shut down next month?
Candidate: Sir, I will do whatever it takes to not let that happen
Founder: That’s what I was looking for. You can join at 90% salary cut. That will give us 2 months more runway3 -
Trying to resolve merge conflicts and you cant remember which changes are the ones you want to keep. Lesson learned, make sure your pull requests dont sit waiting for weeks while master is happily being worked on.2
-
Does anyone else feel like HackerRank questions are trick questions?
Without a textfield to explain the answer It highly depends on how deeply you think about it..
Can you do x with technology y?
Yes.
Can you do x with technology y alone?
Well yeah but no, you still need something to process it. What does "alone" mean? Without electricity you sure can't do anything.
Extreme example but you get my point..6 -
I feel this should go without saying: When you submit your curriculum vitae to a company in search of a job offer, or at least an interview then plz plz plz pretty please eith cherries on top make sure that you at l ast tailored the application towards the general direction of the industry for which you are trying to apply.
Some of the applications we got......booooooooooy these people.....6 -
Just found this gem:
<a href="..." onclick="if (! confirm("Are you sure you want to log out?")) return false;">Log out</a> -
Talking with manager about C++ ...
ME: ... and those are the main differences when coming from C03 to C17.
MGR: OK. I think I got it... are these changes those kind of changes that when we know them we can work in any industry if they use C++?
ME: No they are not, sorry. They are like basic enablers to even start considering entering some industries. What you mean are standards. AUTOSAR standard for example is for automotive industry.
The standard requires some level of C++ standard competency.
MGR: Are these standards like plugins for C++...
ME: ? ... no. They specify rules and architecture, conventions and such.
MGR: ... aah. Architecture, I know that word. So in fact they are plugins....like...like...Eclipse IDE has architecture and it can have plugins....right ? ... and you just plugin that AUTOSAR standard to C++ language.
ME: I think you mixing stuff up on multiple levels here. I think we are not ready to talk C++ competency as a strategic decision yet... lets get some basics down first and discuss this stuff in one month.
MGR: ... ?..but, but I mean it can't be that hard. I think I almost got the gist. I just misunderstood at some point.
ME: Sure, sure. No worries...you almost had it *with deep sarcasm*.5 -
Day 2 of devWholesome...
Have another great day! Have fun and do something productive! It is always a great feeling when you finish something that requires a lot of time and effort. Finish that project that you started but never finished, clean your room, or maybe just catch up on school work! Make sure you are also taking care of yourself with your hygiene and to eat all your meals and drink plenty of water. If you are feeling stressed today, take a break and relax! And again, make the most out of your day!4 -
When you hash time entries by year and you are freaking out to make sure your server doesn’t crash due to differing time zones while your family is celebrating New Year’s...2
-
Me: I'm going to a hackathon this weekend.
Parents : are you sure it's legal and you won't get into trouble? You know, it seems to involve hacking
Took some time to explain the concept of hackathons. Same happened with a lot my friends. Many of them actually go to hackathons now.2 -
So like a couple days ago I was trying to clear the Var directory of my Symfony project.
I wrote
cd /var
rm ./* -R
Linux: are you sure you want to delete write protected blah blah blah?
Me:AHA! SO ITS A PERMISSIONS ISSUE
sudo rm ./* -R
Quickly realized I was no longer in my project directory.
Took a fat L. Had to reinstall.2 -
the fking piece of technology which is unreal engine... you spend a lot of time on rigging and preparing a beautiful skeleton in blender, you are finally done, and you want to export it as fbx. But nooooo here are like 100 hoops you have to jump through and another more 100 blender settings to set so that the mighty unreal "might" accept your humble offering of an fbx and break it 10 times in the process....
this is rediculous.
The error messages are useless. "mimimi you have multiple roots" "mimimi same named objects". Ya sure, and when I use the older fbx 6.1 library for the export suddently these are fine? hmmmmmmm
<.<'5 -
Are there more people here who prefer codual over visual?
UML diagrams are fun and all, but I personally prefer to have a code example over an uml diagram when it comes to a few classes that work together. Not exactly sure why I prefer it that way, in my head I translate uml to code in order to understand it better and if you show me a piece of code I don't have to do that translation.
I wonder what you guys' thoughts are 🤔5 -
Super duper Marketing guy gets hired to boosts Eshop sales. Sends a huge wall of text about moving the site to the X VPS hosting plan, put SSL to the site etc..
Me: We are already on that hosting plan. We have SSL and everything else you mention. Are you sure you checked the right Eshop before you made that Grand Plan of boosting sales? 🤣🤣🤣 -
I just got an email from the project manager:
"Hi Team,
Please make sure to review the 7/12 sprint requests for (x project). Please add your estimates even if the requirements are ambiguous. Thank you."3 -
When it’s 3am and you are working on an exception for more than 2 hours and have optimized your whole code just to be sure and remember you are writing swift not java: some ints have low max value like UInt8.
3 -
Not sure if anyone appreciates but here are the new dR stats!
For more stats see comments.
Do you want to have your personal stats? Ask me, it's already generated. I only have to post it.
36 -
I've created a little functional script you can use for formatting US phone numbers. You can check it out here: https://codepen.io/datwood/full/....
I'm sure there are improvements I haven't thought of so feel free to mention any you think of.
I've built it so that it can work any input field set to type=tel that has a placeholder.
10 -
Not really in work as a job, these people inspired me rather in lifestyle and thinking: (these are not quotes!!)
Richard Stallman - you can't be sure the program isn't harmful unless you see and understand the code.
Linus Torvalds - doesn't matter if you like the person or not, let the code speak for him/her.
Raymond Hettinger - there are both stupid and smart people. It doesn't matter. What matters is asking the right questions and providing clean and explaining answers. -
Why did you have a problem with reinventing a wheel?
How can you be so sure that the wheels that been invented are perfects?8 -
What do you consider the best method for long-term cold data storage? And why?
I was looking at some magnetic tapes, but the degradation of magnetic charge is worrying me. Lose a single bit and you're fucked.
Dvds - not sure, some of my old ones are no longer readable. Not sure why tho, they had been enclosed in a dark, room-temp place all the time
hdds -- still magnetic.
Ssds? Idk
...?12 -
QA: There is a problem
Me: Ok how do I reproduce it?
QA: You do x
Me: I have done x and there isn’t a problem
QA: Oh it only happens sometimes
Me: Fair enough, I’ll try a few times
...
Me: Are you sure x is how you do it?
QA: Oh no actually it’s y
FML2 -
I present to you a php framework with an "orm" that doesnt support table joins. Yes, you heard it right.
I just want to say few things to the developers community -
If you are a bad programmer, please spend your time at improving rather than writing frameworks, or making the stupid decision on using SUCH SHIT FRAMEWORK AT A CORPORATE COMPANY!
Also if you are not sure if you are a good programmer or not, chances are you aren't. That's just how it is.
6 -
If you are looking for a job. Just post on linkedin a picture of you with few children, make sure there is a blueyellow flag on it as well, and say that you are looking for a job. You will have hundreds of offers.8
-
Make sure you are noted for every work you do. Don't let upper managers to take credit of your work.2
-
That is a barier which i saw seveal time falling to the ground...
And now there is this little ASSIST under it....
I am sure you are wondering what is that COMPANY that MADE the barrier and you cannot read it because it in bulgarian. Yes you guest it its "ASSIST". That means the COMPANY have THE BEST NAME.
Hope you get it.
-
My devDucks just arrived today and I am so happy, and I have to share with all of you the awesome person dfox is for making sure they wouldn't get stuck in customs (here in Portugal they are really restrictive with the price limit). I wouldn't mind paying the customs fee, but you spared me of all the trouble. Many thanks!
-
friend : bro which phone may I buy?
me : mi / honor
next day
f : bro are you sure?
m : yup pretty sure ,in your budget this 2 are best phone
after 3-4 day
*call*
f : bro I buy phone.
m : congo , which pne ?
f : oppo f9
o(╥﹏╥)o5 -
An UI guy which actually complimented my will to work with non-dev professions in order to deliver quality features.
Spoiler: I am willing because you are awesome and are not offended in me asking questions outside my area of competence in order to be sure what I do is what you want, so if you happen to read this post kudos on you M. , not on me :) -
You
know
what
I
love
?
When
rants
/
posts
are
really
long
and
devRant
makes
me
scroll
down
on
the
front
page
every
time
I
come
back
from
a
rant
.
Not sure if this will actually
show and sorry, kinda~8 -
Make sure they're implementing basic technology that you deem necessary, or at least that they'd allow you to set it up. If they're working without CI/CD, for example, there are probably more problems.
Also, note that you might also be quite under qualified in comparison to the average employee. That might also affect you in a bad way. -
this really happened:
Interface Team Lead: "hey I want any time deployments and better QA"
Me: "ok sure. I have CI/CD, but yiu need to work in feature branches / tags, and make sure your code passes automated builds and unit tests"
Team Lead: "I dont have time to test it makes me unproductive! and creating a branch is an extra step which is going to set me back. Im telling the boss you are impacting performance!"
Me: "you want better deployments and QA, but you can even create a branch or tes your work?"
Team Lead: "We have deadlines!" -
Yeah sure, drown me in administrative work and then plan to hire another dev to help because I can't keep up.
Are you kidding me?
F*cking hire someone for the KPI and that stuff!2 -
If you are the lead developer on a big project, and you want your developers to not hate everything about this project, for the love of God please at least have a build server (it doesn't even have to run tests) and make sure your constant screwing around with Maven doesn't break the build for everyone else.1
-
From a junior developer, "who's responsible for making sure I understand the context of the feature when we're looking at the story? Are you going to drive that?"
Um no. YOU are responsible for understanding the information I've pointed you to on multiple occasions. I'm not your mother.2 -
On call with customer
Cstmr: What version is this?
Me: Can I see the build number plz?
Cstmr: Yeah
Me: *checks against internal doc*
Me: It's version X
Cstmr: Are you sure?
Me: Um...I'm pretty sure
Cstmr: I'm gonna check
Cstmr: *mutes me and spends 10mins finding public version of the doc*
Cstmr: Ah, it's update X
Me: *................* yes2 -
Bah! I am sure computers know when you are in a rush. Without fail my computer will run as fast as a snail riding backwards on a turtle every time I am in a rush!3
-
QA/stakeholder person: can you add the following links to the footer?
devs: sure. easy.
devs: oh wait, 3 of those links are 404. Are you planning to create those pages? or were those urls just a suggestion?
<crickets>
devs: ok well for now we'll leave those out.
stakeholder (a day later): hey these 3 links are still not in the footer!
devs: yeah we asked about that yesterday.
boss: the links are there now
devs (quietly): fuck you. -
Fellow dev: I am trying to put a joomla site in git.. Maybe you can help
Me: Sure what's the problem.
Fellow dev: I added the .gitignore file but when I clone the site onto the server all the files in the .gitignore are missing.
Me: Any files you add to git ignore are ignored by .git.
Me: Dies a little bit inside, is guy has been working with for over a year. -
Service's like freelance and people per hour are a farce. It's just a constant race to the bottom price-wise.
'Yeah sure I can make you a blog website in 24 hours for £5' -
when you are so used to Unreal Engine crashing while trying to debug your code that you're actually suprised when it doesn't x'D
ya I'm pretty sure I'm not debugging it in the most efficient way, but oh well. Progress I guess. -
Microsoft Teams logic when using it from Chrome on Linux:
Wanna have a team call with multiple people? Sure no problem, proceed.
Wanna have a direct call with one person? Hell no, we don't do that here!
Also lets just ignore the fact that you are actually running Google Chrome, you should really try out Windows and Edge.
2 -
Working on a bug that in my opinion never worked. “Sr. Dev” dares to say the function has worked before. I’m a 100% sure it never did.
“Yes but everything is being tested before we go live.”
Dude, we have a monkey testing our stuff are you serious!?3 -
Taking mandatory corporate compliance training that says what things I am not allowed to do...
BUT it's actually quite interesting because I never knew you could do these and well it's starting to give me ideas.... -
Add 1 - Remove 2
-implement-
Why did you add this?
Alright - Remove 1 and Add 2.
-implement-
I like what you did with 1 but I'm not sure about what you did here with 2.
-wait...wait...wait...-
Hey, just noticed the way you had 1 and 2 before you started making a bunch of unnecessary changes was better, go back to that.
Peer reviews are awesome! -
$git commit -m "fix fucking bug again"
$git push
fatal: Right now you can only push 1 commit every 2 rants (every 1 rant for gitRant++ members) because we want to make sure everyone's commit are pushed in a relaxed state of mind! 2 rants to go until you can push another commit.7 -
I love it when your team lead complains that you aren't getting through your tickets fast enough, but then you are blocked because his super fragile integration tests are on the fritz and the build is broken for days. Sure I could fly through my tickets if I didn't have to fix everyone else's shiz along the way!
2 -
Colleague: Why doesn't this line of code print something out?
Me: Are you sure this line of code has been executed? Try Adding a break point here.
(add break point and debug...)
Colleague: Oh. WTF?!3 -
Hello.
So we have a query inside our company :
We are developers. We are (At least supposed to) logic.
Do you think We developers can influence environment of the planet?
For my self : Not sure, but I would like to believe that more my code is optimized, less resources it will use.1 -
Can we build a simple Ai for the app so reposts don't happen like a 🤔 are you sure you want to post this, it was already posted
It's easy with text but not with images you'd only need AI for the gifs2 -
For the new/aspiring developers:
1. If you are still looking to learn more, but you don't know where to go, start brainstorming. Make a list of projects you could make and sort them by difficulty. Put the ones you could do now at the top of the list, and the ones you aren't sure how to do yet, at the bottom of the list. As you go through them, if you want to do something but aren't sure how, just hop onto an irc chat and everyone will be glad to help. As you go through the projects, your logic and program design skills should improve, as well as your knowledge of programming.
2. Put comments in your code. Seriously. If you are working on a project and suddenly stop working on it for a week or more, you will go back to look at that code and be extremely confused. If you are making something open source, its even more important. If people can understand the code, they are more likely to contribute to it.
3. Try not to focus on code for too long. The longer you work, the more tired your brain gets. Eventually you get tired and make really stupid decisions in your code.
4. Don't code while tired (look at #3)
5. If you are writing code as an assignment, make sure to rename all variables to proper names before submitting it. The instructor will likely not be pleased to see variable names with the f-bomb in them. -
How do you switch from testing while debugging (functional) to TDD unit tests?
Usually I test while coding by just running the use case and making sure while coding, bad inputs are caught/handled.
But most times I start with a general idea of the structure and what the about should be (which essentially would be the functional test case?)
I don't think about how you can break each part or the functions I need until I need them. Then usually start simple and then refactor. And until I'm sure each time I refactor would require changing the tests?4 -
Me: „we are going to reschedule the standup to 11pm“
Coworker: „Ok, sure thing“
Me: „You might want to set yourself a reminder so you do not forget it?“
Coworker: „No worries, I got this“
Me @ 11pm: „Where the hell is he?“ -
When your program runs on first compilation itself and you are not sure how it happens..... !!!! Blessed !!!2
-
I want to know the name of the evil mastermind who once conceived the "literal" function in Sequelize.
- You design a method to insert pieces of raw SQL exactly the way they are written, no further processing
- You release this method, you call it LITERAL to make sure people know its intended purpose: it is used to insert LITERALLY everything you write, nothing more and nothing less
- Then make sure this "literal" method changes the fucking case of column names. Because that's what "literal" means in the head of this rabid animal: you arbitrarily change the code written by the developer
WHY
WHY ARE ALL AR ORM DESIGNED BY FUCKING ANIMALS
ELOQUENT IS TRASH, SEQUELIZE IS TRASH, TENS OF DEVELOPERS AT WORK TO ALCHEMICALLY CREATE THE MOST ROTTEN CODE THEY POSSIBLY CAN, BECAUSE YOU MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO WRITE ANY QUERY MORE ADVANCED THAN "SELECT * FROM users WHERE id =1", NOT A FUCKING SHRED OF DOCUMENTATION AND 16 MILLION LAYERS OF ABSTRACTION TO MAKE SURE EVERY BUG FUCKING STAYS THERE, DON'T YOU DARE TO USE A JOIN, DON'T YOU DARE TO TREAT A DMBS LIKE AN ACTUAL FUCKING DBMS INSTEAD OF A HOT STEAMING PILE OF METHODS IMPLEMENTED BY MONKEYS.
6 -
"Can you make this quick change?"
"Yeah, but I'll need to change every page this thing is on and you told me this other project I'm working on is high-priority. Are you sure you want me to do this?" (Also this is a change you're capable of making yourself...)
"It shouldn't take too long, we need this done."
...if I thought it wouldn't take long, I wouldn't have brought it up. -
not sure if stack overflow mods are real developers/technicians or Garmmar Naz*s...
impatiently one usually waits for an answer after posting, once you get a notification for an activity on your post you later find out someone took their time only to fix your English.1 -
Business people sure are good at being boring. Makes you wonder if being boring is a job requirement.
-
Day 4 of devWholesome...
Lets try and do something good today! Exercise and eating healthy is important. Go for a walk with your dog today or go on the treadmill. Any amount of exercise is good for you! Make sure you are also eating healthy and eating all 3 meals of the day. Make sure you are keeping up with your hygiene and making sure your body is healthy. And as always, make the most of your day!1 -
"Are you sure you want to commit a billion dollar valuation to finish an MVP?"
*Shows only mockups and has a deadline of less than a month*
No thanks. I don't think this company will ever survive -
I really want to learn Go, but I'm not sure where to start! devRanters who are also Gophers, what tools/resources do you recommend for a beginner?2
-
"Are you sure this is not a scam" mum when I wanted to but my first lot of web hosting from one.com2
-
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." -
This whole GDPR, cookie law thing is really getting annoying.. Every website you load:
A wild large popup dialog appears, reasons this and that, options this and that, click next, are you sure, yes, yes,..
The dialog itself is annoying, but it's even more annoying if it pops-up 10 seconds after you've already scrolled and are reading stuff.
Am I the only one who didn't care that I got tracked and whatnot and analytics stuffs were stored etc?2 -
Had trouble to connect to our MySQL database, so I decided to open a ticket to the Database admins. At least they are pros and I'm sure they'll help me:
"Hey guys, I have trouble connecting to [Hostname]. I guess it's a firewalling issue would you take a look? Attached are screenshots, saying hostname not found.
Answer:
Hey Dominique, are you sure the password you used is correct? Is it yours or the sysuser pw what you sent to the server? How did you send it?
Me: (kind of confused) Hey dear admin, did you look at my error message? It says Hostname not found. What do you think how I provided any credentials?
Support: yes, I saw your screenshot and don't see any password entry. That's why I asked!
Me: Well, than... ok... go and search for another job. Yeah and consider fucking yourself. Kisses. -
coding all day long and then realising that you haven't commented anything...
after all, deciding not to comment your code because you are lazy and sure that you will know what you did in every single line of code when you were writing it... and then 2-3 month later blaming yourself for not commenting when you have to fix bugs or rewrite the code! damn! -
Yep, IntelliJ is definitely worth $60/month. Look at this feature where it can’t create a java class.
Seriously, if I am paying money for this, it shouldn’t perform worse than a free IDE. Are you sure you IntelliJ fans aren’t just experiencing Stockholm Syndrome? Because your IDE is so god awful it’s sad.
8 -
Let’s look at what the web is doing?
Warning: Although the pages I posted are safe, I did not dig much past them so not sure what you may find. Be vigilant, update.
Effective use of whitespace or pure insanity?
http://www.arngren.net/
https://m.lingscars.com/
(LOL, make sure to right click view-source of Lings Cars and scroll down )
http://www.dokimos.org/ajff/
Or their homepage
http://www.dokimos.org/1 -
Parents: *didn't really care as long as I can earn*
Big bro: (are you sure???) x 10
😂 I know he was just trying to look out for me but jeez, have a little faith. Still love him tho. 😊2 -
Imagine being laid off from big companies such as Meta after basically doing jack shit for months if not years.
Employers are aware of the "day in the.." videos and gonna interview u thoroughly in order to make sure that you are actually competent.
I doubt many of the laid off bunch (especially the incompetent ones) will get an easy pass.7 -
How many of you are using Ecosia or Lilo as a default search engine?
Be sure to check them out if I haven't heard of them!4 -
What it's like to be a network
engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue,
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are
fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I'm pretty sure the roads are down
because I'm not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What
do you mean you aren't getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered
them, now I'm not getting them. It has to be a
road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are
you getting pizzas from?
User: I'm not really sure. Can you check all
places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don't even know all the places that
deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I'll check...No, I just looked and
Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I'm pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just
allow all food from Subway and we can see if
pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I've allowed all food from
Subway, but I don't think that is the issue.
Usher: Yeah I'm still not getting pizza. Can you
check the roads?
Me: It's not the roads, the roads are fine. I'm
pretty sure Subway isn't the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It's Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does
deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one
in a different town?
User: I don't know. Can you allow pizza from
all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can't do that. Can you get me an
address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can
you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns
and I'll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don't have time for that. Okay, I
looked at the local one and it looks like they
have sent you pizza in the past and they are
currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try
ordering a pizza while I watch.
Usher: Yeah still no pizza. I'm guessing they
are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you
check the freeway to make sure they can get
through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't
even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue,
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove
from the Papa Johns to the address they have
on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa,
Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to
look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What's
your new address?
User: I'm not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second...Okay, I found
your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try
ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize
for the delay in the pizza but there was a major
road issue that was preventing the pizza from
getting to me. The network engineer has fixed
the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn't the roads...whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue
where Chinese food isn't getting to me? think
it may be a road issue5 -
Hey Fellows. I'm about to buy a new keyboard because my current one decided to say goodbye today. But I'm not sure which one i should take. My current favourite is "Das Keyboard 4 Professional".
What Keyboards are you guys using and why ?2 -
!dev
https://epicgames.com/fortnite/...
This url brings to error page with invalid email address that will actually autoreply "We're writing to let you know that the group you tried to contact (do-bug) may not exist, or you may not have permission to post messages to the group. A few more details on why you weren't able to post"
Okay, sure. This may happen to indie stuff etc.
But we are talking about bigass company thats fucking trying to assasinate steam (and so far kindda fails). You dont want to show customers error messages, sure, but at least, if you do it, and you tell your customer to send email to admin, make fucking sure that you provide an actually fucking working email. Is it so hard?
No wonder they cant conquer steam. And thats positive side3 -
My interview...!
From civil background, not sure about internal system architectures.
Question: how does cpu switches between processes ?
Ans: how the f I know? Do I really need to know, internally!
Explained a bit.
He was like you are the one who are going to use kafka, not the one who are going to write kafka.
I was like devasted.5 -
Got an interview at a financial tech firm. I asked them what I should wear:
Engineering is a casual environment, so we encourage you to wear whatever makes you feel most comfortable. We are focused on your knowledge and skillset, not your outfit, so please come as you are.
Not a suit, OK... but not sure if I should wear weekend casual or my usual business casual/work clothes...5 -
PSA: All quixel assets are completely free on the new fab store until the end of the year!
If you need any high quality models, make sure to check it out
(why does this read like an ad lol)24 -
Me: *ask well detailed questions around Ruby on Rails and responses in JSON that won't fucking work because I don't know how to make it work my way*
Someone : *Answers*
Me: *tests the solution. Nothing works, his ruby syntax is from 1995, and it doesn't help me
Me: "Sorry but there's a syntax error in your answer, I don't know how to make your answer work. Plus, how should I edit my json.jbuilder file with your answer?
Dude: " I am not a RoR developer by trade, I just know how HTTP works :)"
WE ARE BOTH FUCKING LOOSING TIME HERE YOU FUCKING MORON
Same dude: " I don't see any of that in your code and I'm not sure what you want to edit? Seems to me like you don't really need to, but I'm not sure"
YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING ROR DEVELOPER, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, SO WHY DO YOU KEEP BOTHERING?
(n.b. : I litteraly pasted his two last answer. Didn't edit anything) -
Common Docker for Windows! Are you serious? What in heavens name could you do wrong to loose access to your own ducking database?! And as if that's not enough there comes the internet in the form of Google telling me that I'm the only idiot with this problem. Sure sure. Gnarf.5
-
5000+ Lines of Code for one IntegrationTest means you are dping testing wrong.
1 day work on software 1 week on tests.
At least I'm now sure I didn't create a avoidable bug.2 -
Devs are divided on gitlab blunder, some appreciate their honesty and transparency while other are either cursing them or grateful that they didn't use it. But think like this :
You own a MacBook and you love it like your baby, if someone drops it, there is good probability it won't break but it will sure give you a fucking heart attack. You won't ever let that person touch your MacBook.
Gitlab just did that. They scared the hell out of the developers.
I hope everyone learns from this and it doesn't happen to anyone in future.4 -
*hot chic from office walks up to me*
Her: hi,are you the computer guy?
Me: heey,that's me..wassup
Her: nothing,you just seem different from the others ..you're so calm under all these deadlines.
Me: sure, when I'm frustrated I go to devrant
Her: where's that?
Me: exactly
Her: you're so funny.
Me: wanna grab lunch
* nothing ever happens how I imagine them..except code*3 -
A recruiter asked me: "Are you familiar with...VLAN?"
I'm a certified network technician, and the recruiter knew that beforehand.
It's a bit like asking a bicycle delivery man if he knows about handlebars. Well, yes? Which was what I answered. Not sure how I could have answered that question without sounding stupid.3 -
Don't you love the neverending sprint?
You know the one that just inherits all the tickets from the last one? Each sprint packs on new cool features but along the way bug tickets come in for code you haven't even touched or wrote and you deal with them because they are blockers.
before you know it, sprint is over and ok to the next one. I'm pretty sure that is how this is supposed to work right?1 -
!rant
Me and my friend just launched the invitation phase for our paid service hookdoo at www.hookdoo.com
Service enables you to quickly set up webhooks with minimal effort that can run your code on your fleet of servers.
If you are interested, request an invitation.
I'll make sure to give devRant users a priority over others, and some bonus credits as well :-)6 -
if you had to do 100 days of rejection, where you ask things you are sure you will be rejected, what sorts of things would you ask and of whom?8
-
Why.
A PHP variable "declared" in the jQuery.
I don't know why Sublime Text (3) does that.
(Sorry for the quality, the screencut was for friends but I thought it could belong here too.)
Disclaimer:
I don't use jQuery, previous "dev" did.
I don't actually care about this.
6 -
music production with fl studio
And watching airline reviews
(You are now pretty Sure who i am)
Eating marshmello (got it? Lol) -
The bugs that make you think are the best/worst.
Had a ghost foreign key constraint from a dropped table. Cant drop it from a non existant table.
Turns out the dev copied a file for the new table and since you can technically name those foreign keys anything you want, there were no errors when he ran it.
Also sloppy/overworked dev teammates are the worst...
Also I'm pretty sure rule 2 of programming is "Never Copy and Paste" -
If I could make sure every programmer I worked with now and in the future read one book, it would be Working Effectively With Legacy Code. I don't care how passionate you are about clean code, craftsmanship or other platitudes of the industry if you can't tidy up a messy codebase.
-
"Don't google this" 4 devs:
(Quine technology for the service of the evil)
Don't google "ken thompson hack"
I'll have nightmares
Ps: i you are sure youve seen this before, it had a typo, n i couldn't modify it -
Hey guys. I'm sure this has been asked before but what kind of work laptops are you issued. And 1-10 rating of em. Just curious.
Personally: Dell Latitude e6520. 6/109 -
Why the *fuck* does everyone think every single paragraph should be centered? Yeah, sure, components, icons, things that are presentation, sure most of the time you want that centered. But not *every* time. And, especially, never when the content is body copy text. That shit is hard to read, dammit! And yet I swear every single non-technical person and marketer I've known wants everything to be centered.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY -
[POLL] How do you develop stuff?
1 - just write code. It doesn't need to be organized, it just need to work how you thought it would, and THEN you start organizing things, like editing/creating new files, letting things DRY, optimizing the sutff you did earlier;
OR
2 - you surgically write code, making sure you keep everything is organized from the beginning. Basically you only write when you are sure.
Or maybe it's a blend between the two or something.
I'm asking because I do like the #1 and I feel uncomfortable when people see my code when it's under development. It's a mess, there are tons of comments everywhere and a bunch of repetition. But, when I find the right stuff, I start writing modules to make my code work better, remove unnecessary things, add documentation, and so on.
My development process is not the best of the best, but I get things done with it.
7 -
Quick Question Please.
For those of us who are in a dating relationship, how do you handle dating (someone you are sure you will want to get married to), tight work schedule and learning new things about tech???10 -
@ Frontend devs:
Did you see Moon.js framework?
It's a very sad framework although i am not sure why it feels so Angular-ish vue.
But at least they are trying
What do you think5 -
Make an application that, whenever the left mouse button was clicked, it would open a dialog asking if the user really wants to close the top window if activated. Every time they would click it would say "Are you sure you want to close Microsoft Word?", in Word, for example.
-
Dear Xcode, \n you are out of your non-existing mind! The clunkiness and awkwardness I experience working with you, I attribute mostly to myself, being unfamiliar with the way of the Mac(TM) and far too lazy to take the time to properly set you up - BUT are you sure you need friggin' 14.25 GB free disk space just to perform a little update?
Yours *** -
I'm kind of interested in learning a language like go or rust, etc... But I'm not sure. I'm having a hard time really "getting" what they are used for? What do you guys recommend?4
-
Doing node dev with a friend that never used JS before
He asks about how to make enums for our generic model to use
Good question I think, I'm not sure
Apparently you just make a fucking object and freeze it, go figure with JS
"Wow. I bet that's super fast /s"
Dammit JS you patchwork ass language, I love you but I see why classic language developers are turned off2 -
You think you know when you learn, are more sure when you can write, even more when you can teach, but certain when you can program.
-Alan Perlis -
Is it more morally correct to just kill yourself and let everyone know or leave a note saying you decided to move to this country and you will never come back and then die in a way and place you are sure no one can find your body and know what happened to you?32
-
The lovely moment when you find the library which does everything that you’ve been looking for, install the flippin’ NuGet and get busy....
Next day you compile and run... just to make sure that the old stuff are still working, only to find out that yesterday’s NuGet flipped up everything else’s dependencies.... *fml and let me die !! -
I hate using fpdf and mpdf.
I'm sure the people working on them are great, pretty sure they have helped a lot of people, me included.
But boy do I hate not being able to write my html in peace only to find out the style I want to apply isn't supported within a table
It's making me want to jump out the window.
Anyway, I hope you whoever is reading this had a nice day, and if you didn't, you will tomorrow, you got this!1 -
You started with a project and you forgot to check what kind of browsers the users are using.
Now I have to make sure that it works in IE otherwise you and my both are screwed!!
Luckily I'm switching jobs! Just three weeks left here! -
Piece of trash software that doesn’t work as intended, guess what, after wasting countless hours solving bugs, more are to come, after you buy the trash ass code the application doesn’t work as the demo presented on the website does, trash ass bloated php 2nd hand full of bugs code.
IF YOU SELL SOMETHING MAKE SURE IT WORKS BEFOREHAND3 -
A question for the experienced devs out there.
When you are the only one working on an application, how do you make sure that it is secure?1 -
Not sure if this has been asked before but I would love to get some book recommendations, particularly about tech.
Though other genres that you think might be interesting are welcome.2 -
I've been wondering a lot lately: what is a toxic relationship? How do you know if you are in one?
A lot of stories sure sound clearcut from the outside, but its not as simple...4 -
Friend : Dude I think I've found the bug we've been trying to diagnose all yesterday
Me : you've got my attention . *excited*
Opens laptop.
Dual boot screen shows up.
Hmm my external WiFi adapter doesn't work on arch , time for windows
Opens windows.
Windows: Booting.
Are you sure you want to update now ?
Nvm. Updating now.
Shutting down . windows is performing some updates .
Me : fuck my life1 -
I’m worried, as I’m sure many of you are about covid 19 and work drying up. I can work from home but who’s gonna want to get a new site or app done now with so much uncertainty!1
-
Can you guys suggest me a good Bluetooth Keyboard? I am looking to spend less than $50 USD.
I like Logitech K380 but the keys are circle and I'm not sure if I'll like that.3 -
Manager: Can we achieve X?
Dev: We can do with Y. But with the time that you are allocating it is difficult to complete Y.
Manager: Can we do a temporary fix?
Dev: Sure. We can do Z. But we need to prioritise Y in the next sprint else Z will cause issues in the long run.
Manager: Sure
After many next sprints,.......
Manager: Hey, Z is causing us issues regularly. Can we do something about it.
Dev: We still can do Y.
Manager: Come up with document on the implementation. We'll implement it.
Dev: Sure. Will do.2
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