These guys were studying for a Java exam...from PRINTED OUT PHONE PICTURES OF CODE ON THEIR SCREENS

And that's why there are scientific programming languages:

"Hey, you are the Java guy, aren't you? My Java is broken!"

Me: *Takes a look at the code*

if ("4+4".equals("5+3")) {
System.out.println("Same result!");
} else {
System.out.println("Different result!");
}

That feeling when you've been writing some sophisticated feature in Java for 2 consecutive days and you compile the code waiting for errors but it just works fine without any errors.

When you ask a Python dev to code in Java

That's really annoying....

manager: "you wrote all your code in java, but i really prefer reading scala 😔"

me: *uses intellij to convert all my java to scala in two seconds*

My teacher said: "You can choose the language of your code, but when you will need to make a great program you will use Java"

Apparently the code that took humans to the moon was written in Java

Me trying to find developers to My gaming community:
Question 1:
Can you code node.js?
Him:
Yes
Question 2:
Can you code java?
Him:
Yes
Question 3:
Do you know DevRant?
Him:
No sorry
Me:
Then im sorry next one...

10-1 AM - 4 of us got drunk.
2-4 AM - 2 hours straight coding, solving big-ass problems
10 AM - Fucking hangover and python code in a java project!

Was just browsing through some old screenshots when suddenly...

Coming from C# background, I don't think I will ever be able to consider Java code beautiful 🙄🙄

how programer relate things

Wanna hear THE Worst Thing ever seen:

NOT EVEN A SINGLE SEMICOLON( ; ) IN
>200 lines of JAVA CODE.

*Blind Eyes*

After heck a lot of hours of debugging my Java code which looked all right, found out my mistake was just using == instead of equals()

Ported a Java class to Kotlin. 200 lines of code removed and much cleaner structure.

FeelsGoodMan

From the director of the department within a large investment bank: "We will be looking into converting all Java code to Cobol because it is easier to work with".

Needless to say I started looking for a new job that night.

just another day at office working on legacy code.

And pointers in java be like: The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

This ist basically my daily work. I have to write Java code in excel files which then are being converted into a DSL and then again being converted into Java code. On top of that many wrappers were built which abstract all this things away..

We have about 30 such excel files which contain about 50000 business rules.
There is no version control for this tables and 5 different team are working on the same tables parallel.

The name of this framework is Drools or as I call it: HELL 😡

When someone at work says your Java multi threaded code is too advanced for other people to understand so you have to dumb it down. What part of constant learning in software they don't understand?

rant

The Java course at our Uni requires us to do an end semester project - A Java App with Swing for GUI and some Multithreading code in it.

They asked us to upload the code to drive. I was bored and was checking out my friends' projects.

The code below is what I saw in one of the projects. They have simply called a thread with an empty run method because the project required to use multithreading concepts, wtf.

But then, It is no surprise to me cause these are the people who memorize code and vomit code for marks.

I am worried that people are going to be awarded degrees and called software engineers.

God save the software industry!

if you were code, you wouldn't compile

I wouldn't catch you if you were the last exception in my code

your brain is so tiny, indexing it would make no significant performance gain

you are so embarrassing, I can only go out with you in SSL

if you were a pointer I'd move to java

As a Java developer, reasons to kill other programmers:

- static mutable variables
- WRITING to static mutable variables
- API call with Framework X didn't work. Add Framework Y along with X and try that. Wrap X in try/catch statement. Catch block fires framework Y.
- six, seven, ten levels of nested code. Zero thought put in organization
- 6K LOC Java files
- spring (singleton? Maybe) object assigning values in static mutable (see pt.1)
- a couple of unit tests in code base that no longer work. Zero unit tests in new code
- unit testing disabled in CI pipeline
- empty catch blocks
- pass mutable data between threads. Modify in various places concurrently.

PM: Guys, we have to upgrade Java 8

Me: hey check out all these cool functional programming stuff (lambdas)in Java 8.

PM: Sorry you can't do that. Our automated testing software isn't up to date to test Java 8. So you have to code it "vanilla"

Me: Erm, upgrade it?

PM: we didn't budget it for that.

Me: *thinks to me miself* brilliant

Java 😂😂😂

It's time for another teacher story. So grab a cup of tea and listen.

We were casually talking about Arduino programming because he told me he teaches this in another class.
Teacher: it's so sad that i can't use my java code on the Arduino. I mean the Arduino uses java so there shouldn't be a problem.
Me: *internal* HOLD THE FUCK ON
Me: you know that the Arduino uses c and not java, do you?
Teacher: but the Arduino can do java commands! How do you explain this!?
Me: because java uses the c-syntax and it's more of a coincidence that they're named the same way?
Teacher: huh. Ok. But C# doesn't use it, am i right?

How can someone this dumb be a programming teacher 🤦

So I'm cleaning up some buggy Java code when suddenly this dandy fine line appears:
if (new Double(a).toString() == "1.3") ...

Someone got paid for this :|

Fucking true confidence is the key to interviews

Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
3. VM
4. FireFox
5. Visual Studio code

Fuck. This. Shit!

while we were in the car...

mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job

Going back to Java after being writing code in Kotlin for a while feels like going back with your crazy, over reacting ex.

Just looking at code, my colleague ("Senior Java Developer"), wrote...

if (process == "null") {...}

As you can guess, process is a String.

I just don't know what I can tell him. It's just so wrong, in every possible way...

Hello everyone, this is my first time here so hi! I want to tell you all a story about my current situation.

At 18 while in the military I was able to get my first computer, it was a small hp pavilion laptop with windows 7. The system would crash constantly, even though I would only use it for googling stuff and using fb to talk to people. 5 months after I got it and continuously hated it decided to find out why and who could I blame (other than myself) for the system making me do the ctrl alt del dance all the time....

Found out that there are people called computer programmers that made software. Decided to give it a go since I had some free time most days. Started out with c++ because it was being recommended in some websites. Had many "oh deeeeer lord" moments. After not getting much traction I decided to move to Java which seemed like an easier step than C++. Had fun, but after some verbosity I decided to move into more dynamic lands. Tried JS and since at the time there was no Node and I was not very into the idea of building websites I decided to move into Python, Ruby, PHP and Perl and had a really great time using and learning all of them. I decided to get good in theoretical aspects of computer programming and since I had a knack for math I decided to get started with basic computer science concepts.

I absolutely frigging loved it. And not only that, but learning new things became an obsession, the kind that would make me go to bed at 02:40 am just to wake up at 04:00 or 06:00 because the military is like that. I really wanted to absorb as much as I could since I wanted to go to college for it and wanted to be prepared since I did not wanted to be a complete newb. Took Harvard CS50, Standford Programming 101 with Java, Rice's Python course and MIT's Python programming class. I had so much fun I don't regret it one bit.
By the time I got to college I had already made the jump to Linux and was an adept Arch user, Its not that it was superior or anything, but it really forced me to learn about Linux and working around a terminal and the internals of the system to get what I want. Now a days I settle for Fedora or Debian based systems since they are easier and time is money.

Uni was a breeze, math was fun and the programming classes seemed like glorified "Hello World" courses. I had fun, but not that much fun, most of my time was spent getting better at actual coding. I am no genius, nor my grades were super amazing(I did graduate with honors though) but I had fun, which never really happened in school before that.

While in school I took my first programming gig! It was in ASP.NET MVC, we were using C#, I got the job through a customer that I met at work, I was working in retail during the time and absolutely hated it. I remember being so excited with the gig, I got to meet other developers! Where I am from there aren't that many and most of them are very specialized, so they only get concerned with certain aspects of coding (e.g VBA developers.....) and that is until I met the lead dev. He was by far one of the biggest assholes I had ever met in my life. Absolutely nothing that I would do or say made hem not be a dick. My code was steady, but I would find bugs of incomplete stuff that he would do, whenever I would fix it he would belittle me and constantly remind me of my position as a "junior dev" in the company saying things as "if you have an issue with my code or standards tell me, but do not touch the code" which was funny considering that I would not be able to advance without those fixes. I quit not even 3 months latter because I could not stand the dick, neither 2 of the other developers since the immediately resigned after they got their own courage.

A year latter I was able to find myself another gig. I was hesitant for a moment since it was another remote position in which I had already had a crappy experience. Boy this one was bad. To be fair, this was on me since I had to get good with Lumen after only having some exposure to Laravel. Which I did mentioned repeatedly even though he did offer to train me in order to help him. Same thing, after a couple of weeks of being told how much I did not know I decided to get out.

That is 2 strikes.

So I waited a little while and took a position inside another company that was using vanilla PHP to build their services. Their system was solid though, the lead engineer remains a friend and I did learn a lot from him. I got contracted because they were looking for a Java developer. The salary was good. But when I got there they mentioned that they wanted a developer in Java...to build Android. At the time I was using Java with Spring so I though "well how hard can this be! I already use Android so the love for the system is there, lets do this!" And it was an intense, fun and really amazing experience.

-- To be continued.

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

OH MY GOSH SHUT THE CRAP UP. I AM NOT INTERESTED. I DON'T EVEN CODE JAVA.

I'm a JavaScript developer. And I don't respond to this spam. Ugh!!!!!

If Java had true garbage collector, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. -Robert Sewel 😂😂

Can you make a website with some of that java code?

When Java is your first language and you are learning python as your second: 90% of errors due to your fingers automatically adding ; at the end of every line of code. :/

I code, drink, and from Java (yes it's an actual place). Except my life doesn't run on JVM. Or does it?

I'm refactoring some old Java code I did

my goodness I was a short-sighted idiot

While debugging some java code by our Senior Architect, I found this gem: 5000 padding done manually.

PS: Jr Developer here.

When you receive tens of JAVA job offers, just because your online resume says you are good at "Javascript".

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
What do you code, anyway?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, JAVA, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
JAVA? Holy dogshit! Only steers and queers code in Java!! And you don't much look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down. Do you suck dick?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, NO, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
I BET YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO'D WRITE LEGACY CODE AND NOT HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY TO WRITE ANY COMMENTS.

That feeling when your code works how you want it to 🤗

Aight i thought the java/script thing was a meme but for the past 20 minutes a dudes been looking at my js code, consistently calling it java

When you document your class just right, so when you encounter it accidentally while debugging, you feel like digging in a base class, because it's so well documented and perfectly written.

Java's System.out.println because it's too effing long to write!
And in general, all of Java because you need an MB of code just for Hello World.

That feeling when you lose just a little bit of your code...

condition == true

is for boys,

public static boolean isTrue(boolean condition) {
try {
return new Boolean(condition).equals(Boolean.parseBoolean(new String(Boolean.toString((boolean) Boolean.class.getField(String.valueOf(true != false).toUpperCase()).get(null)).toString().toCharArray())));
} catch(Throwable t) {
return condition;
}
}

is for men.

Java is a pretty good language, as long as no one uses it to write code

The moment when you as an apprentice have to maintain the code of a java web application which was mostly written in 2004 with java 1.4.....
The most terrible part is that the production environment runs still java 1.7 and you think about the fancy java 8 features all the time😐😑😐

I pretty much just copied code from Google for a good 2 years, following tutorials on Java, until I actually got a basic understanding of wtf I was doing. I could understand the syntax, loops, and conditional statements well, but for some reason I didn't quite understand the concept of an object until I took a class on Java development during my high school career, where it finally 'clicked'.

Yahoo, Kotlin is the first class language for android. So no more fucking Java codes. No more 100 lines for basic configurations. No more null pointer exceptions.

Only beautiful code and fun.

This guy who earns 20% more than me wrote a method to check which string of 2 is lexicographically smaller.

public boolean isSmaller(String s1, String s2) {
String [] temp = new String[2];
temp[0] = s1;
temp[1] = s2;
Collections.sort(temp);
if (temp[0].equalsIgnoreCase(s1)) {
return true;
}
else {
return false;
}
}

there's a dev on my train and I can see everything.... in vscode, at least he has that, damn java devs.

What's the social code for interaction here?

I don't know how to really put this but a professor at my university thinks adding a space in java program will help to execute code successfully .I am rethinking over my decision to join university

Bad Java code is one thing. Bad objective-c code is like OHHHH MY GOD DUDE WTF ARE YOU DOINGGGGG

Just had a talk with our backend Java guys

Our Java code is so FUCKED UP now because of frequent changes that you can easily upload it to porn sites as a gangbang video and nobody will flag it as inappropriate 😁😐

Software engineering course.
Professor wants to show us some Java code.
*Opens eclipse*
*Font super small*
Student: can you please increase the font size?
Professor: sure.
*Can't find the correct setting to do that*
Professor: does anyone know how to increase font size?
Some student at the back: copy the code to notepad++.
:/
Cool professor though..

As a Java developer I didn't write a line of code at work for about 2 months. Been so busy with meetings, doc, governance, architecture decisions, running after people for approvals,... I really miss coding.

C : Cool (for me)

Java : Just A Variety Available (uhm.. no hard feelings java lovers)

Python : Please .. You THink On Nothing (You literally think on nothing xD )

JavaScript : Join A Very Attractive , Sophisticated Code , Reactive In Particular Time (hmm...that took a lotta time)

Got a java exams today, got to code on paper and it really annoying. 😏😏

Hello, I can code a "hello world program" in Java, Python,C,C++,C#,Ruby,nodejs and in HTML do I qualify to be here?

IntelliJ!! In my opinion its the best IDE for Java and Kotlin and it supports you to code better

And I got it for free because I'm a student :D

"Well this is Java, that's intelliJ"
-Guy in my CS class figuring out why my code works and his doesn't

So this happened some time ago but I didn't know devRant back then.

In school we had to write some code in Java and before the lessen one of my friends said to me that he already knew Java and that it was like a very easy coding language.

Then, when we actually had to code, he was complaining that his code didn't work.
So I stopped coding, stood up and walked over to him. He had only very few lines of code and after reading the error message I told him that he was missing a semicolon in line X.

He then asked me what a semicolon was. At that moment I thought: Oh, it's just that one thing that you put after ALMOST EVERY LINE OF CODE IN JAVA. I showed him where I find it on the keyboard and then I fixed his code (it had way more errors than just a missing semicolon).

I have no problem with helping other people but if that person brags about how well they know Java and then not knowing what a semicolon was, that's just not ok.

Porting Java Code to Kotlin manually, just to get a better understanding of the language. Best thing so far, NO more Assertive Exception Handling.

Damnit Java, I know it for a fact that the damned thing won't throw an exception! There's Careful and Paranoid. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

Omg visual studio is a piece of SHIT!

I'd rather code java in eclipse than another line of c# in visual studio.

Once you work in IntelliJ other IDE's are awful.

I wrote almost all the java code in Main.java
why did I do that?
WHY DID I DO THAT?

In my uni course "Algorithms and Data structures" we use Java. Fine. Definitely not my preferred language but it's not like I have a choice.

Anyway, our teacher uploads code files for us to use as reference/examples. The problem is, they look like this. Not only does she not indent the code, she also uses a charset that is not utf-8.

In the rare cases where she does indent the code, she uses THREE, yes THREE spaces...

What do you guys think of codecademy, free code camp and their likes? Please recommend good learning platforms better than these for absolute beginners.
Also can you use android studio for java programs and not just android apps?

For my job interview, they asked me to write simple Java code to check if the string is palindrome or not! Like sir, I've prepared for advanced quick sort and all algorithms and you ask me this!! 🥺

Can I code in Java after “Introduction to Computer Science”?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[x] Using IntelliJ

I noticed my co-worker has been using Atom editor for everything (we do Java/Scala). I asked, "So are you using the new language servers? How are you doing code completion?"

"I don't use code completion. I turn it off."

O_o "Do you not use screwdrivers? Like do you tighten screws in by hand?"

I've know people who code Java/Scala in emacs and vim, but they still had completion, type-lookups, etc. They was a higher learning curve in knowing all the keyboard commands, but all the tools were still there. I don't get people who refuse to use tools. It's reflected in this guys works too when looking at the code reviews.

When all you have is a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail.

University Coding Exam for Specialization Batch:
Q. Write a Program to merge two strings, each can be of at max 25k length.
Wrote the code in C, because fast.
Realized some edge cases don't pass, runtime errors. Proceed on to check the locked code in the Stub. (We only have to write methods, the driver code is pre-written)
Found that the memory for the char Arrays is being allocated dynamically with size 10240.
Rant #1:
Dafuq? What's the point of dynamic Memory Allocation if you're gonna fix it to a certain amount anyway?
Continuing...
Called the Program Incharge, asking him to check the problem and provide a solution. He took 10 minutes to come, meanwhile I wrote the program in Java which cleared all the test cases. <backstory>No University Course on Java yet, learnt it on my own </backstory>
Dude comes, I explain the problem. He asks me to do it in C++ instead coz it uses the string type instead of char array.
I told him that I've already done it in Java.
Him: Do you know Java?

Rant #2:
No you jackass! I did the whole thing in Java without knowing Java, what's wrong with you!

Python and java tests in college? Both on paper, so you can only write your code once, using a pen, and you can't debug it or modify it. Awesome right... Smh

Doing Arduino in school, well normally i code in java/php.
But its better than the stuff, we usually do here😊

so few people have seen my 6 years java programming buddy. here's his newest python excel manipulating code and - naturally - inclusion of the allfunction - doNothing().

After hours debugging code... find out I was connected to the wrong DB :/ **crying in java**

Why are people complaining about debugging?
Oooh it’s so hard.
It’s so boring.
Can someone do this for me?

I honestly enjoy debugging and you should too..
if it’s not your code, you’ll get to understand the code better than the actual author. You’ll notice design improvements and that some of the code is not even needed. YOU LEARN!

If it’s your own code (I especially enjoy debugging my own code): it forces you to look at the problem from a different perspective. It makes you aware of potential other bugs your current solution might cause. Again, it makes you aware of flaws in the design. YOU LEARN!

And in either case, if it’s a tricky case, you’ll most likely stop debugging at some point, refactor the shit out of some 50-100 line methods and modulize it because the original code was undebuggable (<- made up a new word there) and continue debugging after that.

So many things I know, I know only because I spend days, sometimes even weeks debugging a piece code to find the fucking problem.

My main language is java and i wouldn’t have believed anyone who told me there’s a memory leak in my code. I mean, it’s java, right? We refactored the code and everything worked fine again. But I debugged the old version anyway and found bugs in Java (java 6.xx I believe?) which made me aware of the fact that languages have flaws as well.. GC has its flaws as well. So does docker and any other software..

Stop complaining, get on your ass and debug the shit out of your bugs instead of just writing it in a different way and being glad that it fixed the issue..

My opinion.

No. Just no. The null pointer exception didn't come from my DB, it came from your Java code, so go away and fix it.

When you thought writing code on paper in university was bad, wait till you apply to Google and have one of your interviews writing code in Google docs.

So, today I tried using my C/++ Code in Java using native jvm stuff.
It's cancer to make it work but damn it's cool.

I will leave it here
monday- tabs vs spaces
Tuesday- brackets indentation
wednesday- windows vs mac
Thursday- c# vs java
friday - windows vs linux
saturday- vi vs emacs
sunday- vs code vs intellij

So, a friend of mine just got a NullPointerException from his shitty Java code, and decided to fix the problem by catching the exception.
Great fix bro, real smooth..

When u spend too much time writing Java and suddenly go back to C# yet continue to write Java code 😪

Java is my favourite language, and I have to code with c++ now...

The most Java thing I can come up with

One of my colleges complained that the remote vm he uses to test his Java-Code is so slow that he thinks it's actually just a potatoe.
I said to him... Well you know... 3 Billion Devices run Java.

When you haven't opened your project for a long time.

Learning and practicing.

one of my client said, Python is confusing....

then i show him some Java code....

I need to do codereviews at work...

Everytime i get c# code im just happy, it's beautiful to look at, easy to follow, new language features every couple of months or so...

And then I get Java/Android Code.... 😩☠🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️.

(I mainly code in C++)

Bind learning c++ chapter 3

Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.

because writing over 500 lines of java code using swing framework on a piece of paper with a pen is a perfectly good and healthy way to learn how to write code

Java v/s Python⚔️
Which one's better??

Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...

Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.

It would be so agonizing if someone replaced a semi colon in my JAVA code with a Greek question mark!!

I hope there's a 404 message for humans because if I find him, that will be last time anyone sees him!

A fellow mate I graduated with recently asked me to help him with his interview sample coding questions. Basically he had to write a function to test different conditions using Java. I wrote the function, pushed it to git and asked him to go check it out. He told me afterwards that, my function was wrong..lol, really? (BTW, I tested it and it produced the results the company wanted)

I asked him to send me his code and all he did was write a "main", created an instant variable and passed it in a switch statement. Mind you, the test condition was big that, switch statement was the worse to use...

I told him to do whatever he wants but he should remember that the question wants a damn function given a certain input. Didn't hear from him again...then later asked me to help him with a SQL question...hah, I didn't even bother looking at the question.

Today I was refactoring code with 10 levels of indentation. Java 8.
Lambdas.
Each one is a block which spans multiple lines, that makes the outer ones hundreds of lines long.

This should be forbidden: () -> { ... }

If you don't understand why, please never send me any code.

PS: intellij shows multiple errors on each line.

PPS: my colleague should be happy that I do not use swear words.

Got convinced to work with a boss who seem to know it all in tech.

I honestly thought he knew tech, to code at least.

And then one day he referred to Java as the same as JavaSrcipt.

Oh no.

How about you started off with programming?

I'll start with a veery old picture of my first Java-Code I've written (if you can call it eben that). At that time I tried to code using a JS-Designer. Just hilarious. 😂😂😂

Quitting job because of Java and legacy corporate OSGI codebase. Being junior developer I'm just done with no documentation, terrible team support and non existent code review. After 18 months I can't justify staying any longer. Never had luck with Java and I guess some things just stay the same.

Joined only because of Javascript part, just to be thrown into fullstack position. Stayed way longer because of COVID. Good old simple PHP I loved and foolishly left because of money.

This is my favorite post ever. Please tell me you guys know it!

There's nothing more horrifying than seeing the code made by Java Swing. Good luck trying to find label1X5zPotato and what it does.

Java must be like a food that requires an acquired taste because the more that I code in it, the more I enjoy it.

Java teacher writes code on blackboard in comp lab

He tells us to try it out at our workstations.

We do. The code does work. We tell him.

He says: "There is something wrong with your compiler..."

Question is...we were around 30 students. Can all our compilers not work if we had used the lab before and the code we run worked clean??!?!?!?

We were flabbergasted

In college while submitting the java application project to the teacher.....
Teacher : The project is really great son, but do tell me how does your code work.
Me :

I'm new guy in programming. Sometimes I do compare java with python and I have weird conclusion.

Python code is shorter but for me much more "logical" & easier to read is Java. Maybe it due to fact that I don't understand what is going on under hood so shorter code feels incomplete?

Finished writing a microservice in NodeJS. Wrote tests, had clever optimisations, did profiling, the works. Lead dev says to me on a Friday evening to port my code to Java in 2 days. (Reason: to standardize everything) #FML

There is something so comfy about Java that I never get from other languages.

I don't know why but I genuinely enjoy writing 200 lines of boilerplate code. Maybe it makes me feel I am in control and not some syntactic magic like in Python or Javascript.

People keep ranting on java, yet it lives on.

This jewel piece of code in Java:

if(String.valueOf(var1.toString( ) ).equalsIgnorecase(String.valueOf(var2.toString())){
//fuck something else here
}
String var1; //defined somewhere
String var2; //defined somewhere in the code

At this point I am not even mad 😂😂

I'm proud of a chess project I made in Java, at university. It was awful but worked!
One of the first times I did some code without googling it 😋
PS: I don't code and work in Java!

make code change

stop server

try to re run server

dependency problems

java, tomcat, gradle , eclipse, just kill me, dont torture me like this

!rant

After two years of learning front end librairies and some javascript my mate just threw me into our java backoffice to help him do the testing.

I read so much shit about java， i was a bit apprehensive... But man the more i learn the more i think code is beautiful.

Well i for the first time am starting in java today and its beautiful as well ;) like，i can`t remember having had so much awe for something in a long time.

When you see it...

Java code as C++ solution -_-

Anybody remember when we actually spent time writing code instead of debugging the tools? Specially the gazillion of crap that's out there for fucking Java shit?

Code written in Lambda Functions and Streams in Java 8

Help others with Java code on this discord channel.

Hey, I am new here and I am only in the early stages of learning how to code, but I already like devRant a lot. This is a cool communty.
If anyone wants to know, I am learning Java.

When you rewrite your java code using c++ cops chase you for over speeding.

Reviewing the code of my then new CTO, who said "I can also code and have experience in Java" - 50 lines of code, I added over 30 comments to his Pull Request. In the end, I rewrote his complete code.

why do people hate java? it is the most elegant and simple language one can learn and code powerful apps and software. i don't get it

better late than never.
So I just decided to go with Gitlab after being a Microsoft Team Services user.
To do next on my list:
Move away from .Net for backend services, any suggestions? I use dotnet core due to being able to easily finish what I want and with less code to write. Tried Springboot for Java but not a Java fan, might checkout kotlin though

Stereotypical Indonesian CS Lecturers :

"This is the code *showing slides containing a Java code*, write it on your IDE and run it"

*waiting for explanation*
"Good, blablabla *doesn't explain a single line of code, and keep reading the slides* understand?"

Fucking cunt! I fuckinf mad because not everybody as lucky as me being a self-thought dev, or atleast you can't expect everybody as smart as you!

So I got this new job as Java developer, the people are really great but is the kind of companies that only takes care for fast results and not for code quality.

Because this I have to deal with libraries updated 4 years ago, classes with 8000 lines, methods with 500 lines, a WHOLE lot of work arounds because there is no time to really fix the issue unless it affects directly the customer (something not working or being really slow) aaand we use fucking svn.

Some of this practice's they know and encourage it (+1000 lines classes for example) and every time I try to talk about good practices in the code everyone seems so interested but there is always no time.

Sooo I will stay here for at least two years, I hope I can make a change for good in their code smells.

programmer(noun)
A machine that turns coffee into code.
Java programmer(common noun)
A machine that turns code into coffee

Editing java files on server for deployment.

Deployed. Found major issue.
Don't have time. Editing source code on server changed if else
Rebuild and deploy.
Now push from server to repo and pull locally...
Pure sin.

bugfixing quiz:
What is wrong in that Java code:
I would say that happens when developers frequently switch between Java and JavaScript

After 1 year of working as android dev and coding in java, finally switched to another startup where everything is in Kotlin where I will be the only one maintaining that project.

Me: This code has almost no comments
Senior dev: Code is pretty self explanatory

FML

At least she spent 4 days with me and walked me through the code, so I'm not totally lost which is great!

Java professor just copied his code from a word document into netbeans. I have lost faith in humanity.

Applied for a Android (java/kotlin) job and they gave me a swift code test 😕😕

Having to use BlueJ makes me want to jump off a bridge. :)

Stupid fucking editor tells me I have errors in my code, even though it compiles without problems using the Java command.

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure no java code should be able to jump from the if block to the else block, and then back to the if statement, ahen trying to initialize an object

After I read clean code I talked to a fellow developer about some concepts. Later I reviewed some code of him and he clearly got the concept (not)

Java
...
If (isTrue(someValue))...

public boolean isTrue(boolean value){
if(value == true)
return true;
else
return false;
}

Why the flying fuck does one indent Java code with two spaces? Coding standards exist for a reason, for fuck's sake!

Reading Python code written by Java programmers. I have no words to describe the horror. CamelCase everywhere...

Why people are saying Python is an easy language? I mean yes, if you write c/java code with python it may seem easy, but writing proper python code, in a pythonic way is not so easy.
SO DON'T TELL PEOPLE THAT'S IT EASY LANGUAGE because new commers later they come with absurd code and ask people to fix it.

We code hard in these cubicles

My style’s nerd-chic, I’m a programmin’ freak

We code hard in these cubicles

Only two hours to your deadline?

Don’t sweat my technique.

Sippin’ morning coffee with that JAVA swirl.

Born to code; my first words were “Hello World”

Since 95, been JAVA codin’ stayin’ proud

Started on floppy disks, now we take it to the cloud.

On my desktop, JAVA’s what’s bobbin’ and weavin’

We got another winning app before I get to OddEven.

Blazin’ code like a forest fire, climbin’ a tree

Setting standards like I Triple E….
Boot it on up, I use the force like Luke,

Got so much love for my homeboy Duke.

GNU Public Licensed, it’s open source,

Stop by my desk when you need a crash course

Written once and my script runs anywhere,

Straight thuggin’, mean muggin’ in my Aeron chair.

All the best lines of code, you know I wrote ‘em

I’ll run you out of town on your dial-up modem.

Cause…
We code hard in these cubicles

Me and my crew code hyphy hardcore

We code hard in these cubicles

It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve seen the 404.

Inheriting a project can make me go beeee-serk

Ain’t got four hours to transfer their Framework.

The cleaners killed the lights, Man, that ain’t nice,

Gonna knock this program out, just like Kimbo Slice

I program all night, just like a champ,

Look alive under this IKEA lamp.

I code HARDER in the midnight hour,

E7 on the vending machine fuels my power.

Ps3 to Smartphones, our code use never ends,

JAVA’s there when I beat you in “Words with Friends”.

My developing skills are so fresh please discuss,

You better step your game up on that C++.

We know better than to use Dot N-E-T,

Even Dan Brown can’t code as hard as me.

You know JAVA’s gettin’ bigger, that’s a promise not a threat,

Let me code it on your brain

We code hard in these cubicles,

it’s the core component…of what we implement.

We code hard in these cubicles,
Straight to your JAVA Runtime Environment.

We code hard in these cubicles,
Keep the syntax light and the algorithm tight.

We code hard in these cubicles,

Gotta use JAVA if it’s gonna run right.

We code hard in these cubicles

JAVA keeps adapting, you know it’s built to last.

We code hard in these cubicles,

Robust and secure, so our swag’s on blast

CODE HARD

Debugging TLS failures.

In Java.

With the funny certstore cause "we need to do this by ourselves".

Fucking shitty broken pile of cunt code.

At least the debugging output is good.

As much as I love TLS, debugging it is a nightmare and when a programming language like Java decides to wrap it, it becomes Ctulhu.

OS
- TLS Library
-- TLS Certificate Chain
- JDK
-- JDK SSL Handler
--- JDK Certstore
---- Java Library Abstraction, eg. WS SSL

Joyfully fingering of a tentacle arsehole.

When it’s 3am and you are working on an exception for more than 2 hours and have optimized your whole code just to be sure and remember you are writing swift not java: some ints have low max value like UInt8.

Well we should start thinking like this.. 😁😁
#copied

I've been writing Java the last few days. Really makes me remember why I enjoy writing objective c / swift so much. It's not necessarily the crazy syntax of objective c. It's the conventions behind the languages. It's very easy to make your code read like prose. Which when you become used to this it's very hard to jump back into spaghetti code with abbreviated variable names and such.

Your code when Writing Java for Android.

I’m excited because VM based languages such as Java are no longer in their prime on desktop and server and languages which compile directly to machine code (Go, Rust, Swift…) are finding a broader audience

I think one of the most amazing things about being a developer is seeing the abstractions that have come about over time. From having to program in machine code and assembly, to now with languages like Java, where a lot of the boilerplate code is effectively abstracted out by frameworks.

coded a java program in eclipse throws back error .
Know that program is correct.
Created a new project file copy pasted the code, wolaa.. executed.
:/

!!rant

I just hate job ads which have a pseudo-language (Java or C for ex) code snippet inviting you for an interview.

Oh my God they are so fucking LAME. I actually pass on these job offers.

What did the Java code say to the C code?
A: You've got no class.

Why is netbeans, or Java in general, so fucking bad at handling memory ? I mean, I'm literally doing nothing on my code and I see my IDE consuming more and more RAM, to some point it goes over 1GB so I have to close then reopen it to "flush" the memory taken...
It's 2017, how the fuck can't we still manage to actually use a correct amount of RAM when I open a barely 10MB project ??

And it applies to everything related to Java. Like Android, Minecraft and other Java based softwares...

This literally happened in my current team, and I'm not even an experienced dev yet.
Incident happened like this :
Our team is working on a RCP based on eclipse plugins, which has a headless mode and a GUI mode. Now, in the GUI mode, my manager cum architect thought there are no need of user log files (long story) because the user can see the info on screen, whereas in the headless mode, she wanted me to print the logs onto the console and a log file as well.
Now it just so happened that our team had got a recent addition as a replacement to our lead developer (she left the company) who claimed she had 3 years of expertise and a masters degree, and she was assigned a task. The task was to format a custom file we were generating out of the product (basically dumping info in a file) in a human-readable format. Miss new-addition-masters-degree decided it would be a very good idea to redirect the standard java output stream to a file output stream ( which she used for generating the formatted file ) but somehow never realized that she needed to reset the output stream back to standard output.
Consequences were devastating. I wrote the logic for the logger ( yes, apparently any available logging mechanism won't do it, again, long story ) and had it printing to a file in tmp directory. The logs seemed to be working fine initially but after a few logs, specifically from the point where the formatter started working, all the logs got printed in the formatted file. And this file was supposed to be used by our clients to develop something on top of it. Naturally, I got the heat of it and then naturally, worried and nervous and curious and in a frenzied state of mind, I started debugging.
When I got to the actual fault, I seriously could not decide whether to cry or laugh or call up miss masters and scream at her. I decided to ask her about what the hell she had written and her answer was most of it was written by the developer she replaced, so she didn't know it would cause this much problem. Anyway, I fixed the leak after that and averted the catastrophe.
And that, fellow devs, is the story of how I solved a crisis in my first year at corporate.

My second worst experience with legacy code:

JSP with inline java to create JavaScript which creates HTML on every fucking page load.

Luckily I leave that company too.

If you code with Java please don't call yourself a developer

They say in java Errors cannot be handled in developer code. But here my code handles a StackOverflowError. What is going on here?

When your friends wants you to help them code in Java and they type

public void Main String

without any instruction ...

Been vigorously learning how to code and I've caught myself ending sentences with semicolons;
#java

When you don’t even understand some old code you wrote 🤔😩😂

From long Using Visual Studio Code for Programming.

Why i love
supports Typescript
supports java
Lighter
plugins available like linter, git lense

Best for small web app projects.

And Favourite IDE, intellij Idea

Why ?
For writing java i use as
it can easily generate getter setters
constructor
importing
and build process.
best for java.

last but not the least
Nano
why ?
because most of the devops configuration, requires to be done via terminal only and i often use nano.
it is good for shell scripting,
editing configurations

that is all....

after six months debugging unstructured, freeform python code from my colleagues, i found java strictness paradisal

Tomorrow I'll have my Java exam. Teacher sent us a code example and I analyzed it, it works correctly but it's full of mistakes about polymorphism. I'm fucking afraid

Java developer here. Wants to code in nodejs. Recommended ide

I learned to code by trying too automate things. I started out with Windows batch and moved up to Java before I discovered the magic of C, C++, Python, and now Swift

Fucking Java 8 java.time package. I want to kill the damn developers of this useless piece of shit code.

<rant>
Teacher at university told us to install bluej in a Java class. Never in my life have I seen something so irritating as this crappy thing. Your code can have 0 errors and it still doesnt compile.
</rant>

When you code in C but still thinking in Java....

I saw multiple attempts to convert an int to a String by concatenating it with an empty String...
String s = someInt +"";

(I'm guessing the compiler uses a StringBuilder here which still ends up calling Integer.toString())

My big grievances when doing code reviews, lots of code reviews....

Constants. How difficult is to create constants files for reuse and readability?

Comments/java doc. I don't get any help by seeing this is an automatically generated block to get by check style.

*slap*

You know what I had to deal with
A bunch of these shit
try{
//Shitty cluster fuck excuse for java
//code
}catch(Exception e){

}

been golanging.

had to check Java code.

was thrown back, like
wait a minute... (visible cofusion)

I hated Java and was skeptical about C# in the beginning (I never code in C# during my early college years).

But when I tried coding in C# as a requirement for our internship this month, I was like "fuck Java (seriously), C# is the shit!"

My friend who's programming in java always laugh, when i say I'm compiling Magento code

Yesterday I spent almost 3 hours trying to sort an array of objects in java. I'm a person who has written a lot of python and dart code and java is just so daunting. Every simple thing is so complicated.
You can sort a list of objects wrt any parameter using a one liner in python.
Finally after copy pasting a lot of code from stack overflow the thing got sorted. And the worst part I don't even know how the thing works.

My week was going great, started an online course on coursera.org. It was on algorithms, somone recommended it to me here. After spending like an awesome 3 hours learning about dynamic connectivity algorithms, I find out I have to submit code in Java!!! If you hate Java then u get me, then there's a deadline, OBVIOUSLY!!! I only know the basic Java syntax, can't even believe I got this far without coding a project in Java. So now I have to polish up on Java and write a percolation java project, no biggie!

Had to port a python code some other guy wrote using opencv for some image processing stuff to Java. I thought "how tough can it be? Let's just try it out on python first just to verify the results", only to waste an entire fucking day trying to install opencv first and make it work and to add to it the crappy opencv documentation were no help. In the end I had to just give up on this shit and decide to just do the Java implementation which I later verified from the python guy's results.

Starting a new job tomorrow as a junior Java developer. Let's hope this works out better than my last job which was supposedly also as a java dev but involved zero code writing

So my computer crashed while I was coding in eclipse. I turn it on and the class I was working on is absolutely empty, only one empty line

It wasn't a big class, but that still hurts

#kotlin
when you don't know whether you are writing code, or is it a comment.
doing #java for couple of years has its effects.

Nobody wants to maintain XSLT mappings. Being a developer, even I don't want to. So what do we do? We parse the XSLT using JAVA code in a horrible attempt create an excel with mappings. God damn it!!

I once thought writing huge lines of code makes it tough and messy, when i was learning Java.
Then I met with BrainFuck...
Name is trully justified.

"My code is explain itself. Well, I need no comments to understand it."

I don't care if you wan't to write comments or not; If don't write any then i don't care because fuck you and your code.

May it be java, kotlin, python, javascript or anyother language, you think "everyone can read", i hope you'll never find anyone who has to deal with you and your cancerous code.

public static Map<Integer, List<Integer>> stuff(arguments) {
HashMap<Integer, List<Integer>> map = new HashMap<>();
method(map, otherVariables);
return map;
}
public static void method(HashMap map, otherVariables) {
map.put(things);
}

So... You know how to return a map from a method. Then why do you create the map outside the method and make it an argument that does not get returned, making it confusing because the map gets created empty, given to a different method, then returned, making it look like you're returning an empty map...
...instead of just creating it inside the called method, returning it and assigning it to a map in the calling method? Even if you think that would create another map (it doesn't), the compiler is intelligent and can optimise that away.