WHY THE FUCKIDY FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A DEVELOPER THEN YOU CAN DO EVERY FUCKING THING IN A SNAP?!

THIS ENTIRE SUMMER I WORKED FOR THIS MIDGET OF A FUCK AND THE IDEA WAS TO MAINLY DEVELOP AN IOS APP FOR THEIR PRODUCT. THAT ONE APP TRANSLATED TO THREE SEPARATE APPS AND KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM THE ONLY DEVELOPER THEY HAVE SO I HAVE TO DEVELOP IT, TEST IT AND DOCUMENT IT!! AND WHAT'S EVEN WORSE IS HE KEEPS GIVING ME DESIGNS AT THE LAST MINUTE SO I ALWAYS END UP HAVING TO CREATE NEW PROJECTS ALL THE TIME. WHEN A WEEK PASSES BY WITHOUT ANY UPDATE HE AND HIS FUCKED UP BRAIN CELLS GATHER A MEETING WITH HIS 'DONALD TRUMP HANDS-SIZED' BALLS TO ASK ME, 'WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG? THESE ARE JUST THREE BUTTONS ON THIS VIEW?' MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!! GO GET YOUR MOM TO DO THIS WORK THEN IF IT'S JUST THREE BUTTONS. TO HIM EVERYTHING IN IOS WHICH INCORPORATES A TAP IS A FUCKING BUTTON! BUTTON THIS! BUTTON THAT! AND IT'S NOT LIKE HE HAS SIMPLE DESIGNS..NO.NO.NO.NO. THIS ASSHOLE-SHAPED-HEAD MUGGET DESIGNS SHIT WHICH REQUIRES ME TO HAVE TO DRAW A UIVIEW AS THE SHAPE OF A HUMAN BODY AND HEART. THEN ASIDE FROM THAT, JUST BECAUSE MY RESUME SAYS I MINORED IN MATH AND APPLIED MATH, HE SENDS ME A PAPER THAT EXPLAINS MATHEMATICAL CONCEPTS OF DATA ANALYSIS THEN WANTS TO MEET WITH ME TO DISCUSS THE SUGGESTED METHODS THEN IMPLEMENT THEM. AT THIS POINT I HAD ALREADY IMPLEMENTED AN ALGO FOR COUNTING THE NUMBER OF STEPS THAT WAS WAY WAY WAY MORE ACCURATE THAN THE SHIT THEY HAD IN THEIR CONTROLLER..

SO AS I AM ABOUT TO FINISH IMPLEMENTING JUST THE INITIAL 5 VIEWS OF THIS 'FINAL' APP, HE SERIOUSLY WALKS IN AND TELLS ME, SO I'M STARTING TO WORRY THAT WE'LL NOT MEET THE AUGUST DEADLINE SO I'M THINKING MAYBE YOU SHOULD START SWITCHING BETWEEN DEVELOPMENT. WORK ON IOS FOR 4 HOURS THEN SWITCH TO ANDROID FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE TIME. OH AND UHH IF YOU FEEL LIKE TAKING THE IMAC WITH YOU TO WORK FROM HOME, THAT'S FINE AS WELL AND I'LL BE AVAILABLE IN THE WEEKENDS AS WELL. IT WAS AT THIS MOMENT THAT I REALLY REALLY HOPED I WERE GAY! LIKE 'NO LUBE' STYLE KINDA GAY!! OH BTW AT SOME POINT HE HAD ME PROGRAM ONE OF THEIR CONTROLLERS, AND WAS ASKING IF I COULD START RESEARCHING MEANS OF WRITING AN SDK FOR THEM.

KEEP IN MIND THAT I'M AN INTERN WITH ONE YEAR IOS DEV EXPERIENCE.. THEN HE WANTS ME TO ENTIRELY START LEARNING ANDROID AND GIVE HIM TWO VERSIONS OF THIS THIRD APP IN TWO WEEKS.

HE CAN GO SUCK HIS OWN DICK WHILE GETTING FINGER FUCKED BY A FORK WITH A BLUE WHALE'S 6FT LONG DICK UP HIS MOUTH.

*** that felt good ****

Three days ago I wrote a comment:

"It's weird how the internet shifted from protocols to platforms.

Devs still know the plumbing, but for most people IRC became Whatsapp, FTP became Dropbox, RTSP became Netflix, SIP became Zoom and RSS became Google Now... so people might eventually forget about SMTP and this whole "email" hype.

In a decade or two we'll have forgotten about URLs and HTTP and the "internet" as well. You just pay your monthly $10 sub to Google or Amazon or Apple to have your condensed streams of memes & bait funneled right into your eyeballs."

And now Chrome devs are considering removing URLs just like in Safari, just showing the domain you are on....

Enjoy your retard web, people.

What's next, new Macbook & Chromebook standardized designs to prevent people from being confused?

Boss: make this thing
Me: yeah no worries. Where is the spec?
Boss: We don't have enough one but we outsourced the design so call him

Designer: haven't started yet
Me: excellent

Boss: I'm going on holiday. I'll leave this to you.
Me: erm ok. I'm having a few problems getting stuff out of the designer though.

*2 weeks later and still no designs*

Boss: I'm back. Where is the progress?!
Me: indeed.

*1 week later i get half designs that sort of make sense*

Boss: hurry up!

*1 week later*

Me: designer you're busting my balls here
Designer: yeah lol

Me to boss: still having problems. No idea what I'm doing.
Boss: deal with it

*2 days later*
PM: we are demoing it to clients tomorrow
Me: brilliant. I'll become a magician then.

* Meeting goes well and no one notices the thing is a bit buggy*

*2 days later*
Me to boss and pm: you already know whats going on but I'll keep trying.
Boss: ok it's just a proof of concept anyway.
Designer: yeah here's the rest of the designs lol

*1 week later, the designs made no sense, no idea what they wanted but hey it's a proof of concept so I'll just do my best...*

*suddenly again, hey you have 1 week before we sell it. Lol. smashes a product together as fast as humanly possible, due to half designs and no time to do it right even html classes and CSS aren't right - didn't know things would be repeated at the time. No time to fix entire thing. Luckily just a proof of concept*

New senior developer: hey boss just said this is being sold tomorrow.
Me: wtf..It's a proof of concept and i was given longer...
New senior developer: no
Me: :(

Senior developer and all colleagues: it's full of bugs and doesn't work
Me: yes that will happen without specs, random tight deadlines, no designs that made sense and a total of about a week and a half to make an entire system for multiple user types to make applications, send messages, post jobs, handle all paperwork and move paperwork among different user types as they go through applications. I told everyone what was going on but i get no support...

*Silence*

Boss: wtf i gave you so long! All i know is my entire staff is working on a product that should be done ages ago
Me: ok, however i have said almost every day i need-
Boss: I'm not interested

*I finish my placement year and never get any promised work or the job offer*

Seems legit?

** Makes a design for a landing page, in a Single-page format. My designs are usually clean and "aerated" (breathing, uncluttered). **

** Pm comes in **
Me: Oh hey! I've finished my mockups
PM: Ah nice, let's see... ** comes to my screen **
---

PM: Not bad, but can you remove this spacing, this spacing, and this one and this one... oh and that one too?

** corrects them as she says, everything starts looking cluttered and I dislike it **

PM: Great! Can you export them in pdf?
Me: Sure.

** PM goes away **

** Proceeds to re-make the mockups more "breathing" with an evil smirk **

Client : your design is not cool. See this ^
*showed me some pretty neat designs pattern*

Me: which type do you want for your application.?

Client : All are pretty cool. Isn't it?

Me : Yes. But you do not need all of them. Right?

Client : Yes.

Me : So, which one.

Client : I'm confused But, this will do.

Me : Sure?

Client : Yes, very much.

After 3 days.

Client : you know what, earlier one was simple one but, best one. Easy to understand. This is (new design) making it complex. I need previous one.

Me : (I knew you'll say that, a**hole.) Just go to setting and select theme section to earlier version.

Client : thank you man.

Me : (You are red listed in my book you a**hole. Say anything else to add/edit and then see.) You are welcome.

Good designs solve more problems than you originally intended them to solve.

From my team lead.

databases designs...

A client complained about the visual designs containing 'lorem ipsum' text because they 'didn't understand spanish'. And that they wanted their site in english...

so, i hear you working on linux and love some designs.
show me your .bashrc !

me:

Instatgrams designs working on the new logo...

I was a good programmer.

My teachers always impressed by work..
I was like coming up on my own solutions not from books. Never remembered any algo but still the one who solve mostly every problems

Well then..

joined companies after college.

I thought I will learn so many new things..

Yes i learned but I'm feeling like I'm losing the spirit of problem solving

I'm just doing same thing, same logic, making similar kind of application with just little difference.

Nothing is like i'm making something new... All I'm doing is using predefined java and android method..

To create some predefined designs and working.

Fucking similar client requirements.

Seems like time to quit job and dedicate myself toward research

I know it's a boring rant... I'm just fucking
*frustrated*

For some
Hope hope = new Hope() ;

Designer (to the client): Yes it'll be exactly like this mock up after I hand it over to the iOS developer.

Client: Awesome! Looking forward to it.

* Designer goes to developer *

Designer (to developer): Hey these are the new designs for the app, let me know if you have any questions, ok?

Developer: Cool.

* 1 minute later *
* developer goes to designer *

Developer (to designer): How should error messages or notifications look like?

Designer: Oh we should just email those because it won't look good.

Developer: The fuck? And are you going to design this email service too?

*project manager + designer are showing new designs*

PM: so, can we get some estimates?

Devs (literally all of us): do we have a mockup for this interaction?

Designer: no.

Devs: What about that one?

Designer: not yet.

Devs: What happens when you click here? Hover there? How does this look if I select that option + this option at the same time? Does it make sense that a user can select *this* option with *that* option? They're kind of mutually exclusive.

PM: Well...

BTW: code freeze is in two weeks...

So I've developed a nice looking website for a client after designs were approved and what not. After seeing it in the flesh, the the client is now trying her hand at redesigning it herself in WORD. I am so done.

To all you devs still wet behind the ears ranting about css - you have no clue just how good you have it.

Most designs used to be table based (table-ception) and to give something a border with round corners or a "drop shadow" you would literally create a table to hold you content with an border of cells containing a background image of a corner / border.

Now you use border-radius or box-shadow as a 1 liner. Stop bitching about centering things and figure out how to hack it like we did.

If you remember this whats your least missed 20th century hack?

Discovered one of the worst db designs ever:

- A cust is inserted in a table.
- The insert trigger is fired, calling a stored proc
- The stored proc being called creates a dynamic sql that builds a create table statement for 8 different tables. These tables will be postfixed with the newly-created cust id and is executed.

When querying info for a cust, a stored proc is used that accepts an id value would be appended to another dynamic sql that creates a select statement across all 8 tables for one customer.

Shoot me now.

Hashedram's compilations #1
List of most annoying website designs.

1) Pages with AUTO PLAYING VIDEOS.

Yes I'm looking at you Netflix. Along with every news website known to man. I'm looking to read a fucking article, so why would you even waste your money and bandwidth trying to shove a video of some shit I don't care about in my face, and make it follow me as I scroll down like a fucking insecure puppy. Also, fuck you Instagram.

2) Pages that redirect once immediately after you visit them, thereby fucking with the browser history and the BACK BUTTON just leads back to the same fucking site.

I mean, just why. Did you think I would just go "Hey the back button doesn't work so let's stay on the site and read their awesome content"?

3) Sites showing things in a SLIDESHOW, when it actually should be in a list.

Slideshows are for progressive stories or for showing lists where you don't care about what's in them. Top 10 foods that reduce weight. Slideshow 1/15. Fuck you.

4) LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE USING AN AD BLOCKER

Yes. Yes I am. No I will not turn it off for you, you narcissistic snowflake fuck. And don't even try to guilt shame me into turning it off, because I know you're just going to bombard me with videos of sexy singles in the area if I do.

5) Pages where I see the first 3 lines of an article and have to SUBSCRIBE to see more.

Yes. Brilliant fucking idea. A user wants to see what your site has to offer, so within the first three seconds, don't show him exactly that.

6) Looking up an article and having to read through the entire motivational life story of the author.

I just want to know how to boil eggs, not read about your journey across Africa learning how to make difference recepies using boiled rhino dung.

7) CLICK BAIT.

Title: School boy designs blockchain machine learning game engine

Actual Content: Tic tac toe program made using linked lists

PM: let's make a kick-ass design for this header.

Me: *designs something with funky animations*

PM: hmm.. this is good but let's just follow how 'Reddit' does it.

Me: *WTF* 😫😫😫😫

The new w3c standard "CSS Houdini" gives you access to the css engine and let's you write your own css properties. That means no more polyfils, new exciting website designs and more possibilities and control on how the css is rendered on all browsers.

!Rant

I have the absolute greatest and nicest front-end developer in the world.

Today I was being given all kinds of praise for putting something on a site that the client loved and it seems to be getting the conversions they want. I felt really bad taking the praise because I didn't design it. The front-end developer designed it for me and gave me a picture of what she thought the client wanted and I built it. So I passed on all the compliments to her and told her that everyone was super happy with it.

She accepted the thanks but then floored me telling me that she didn't feel like she did anything and that my job was more important. We started arguing about who was more important.

"I accept that your designs do nothing without my back-end code, but without your designs no one would ever use anything I made."

She responded by sending me a list of sites with terrible designs that people use daily. And continued to tell me how much more important back-end is than front end.

If she wasn't 1500 miles away I might have kissed her. I needed to hear that today.

Qa: do you think this looks like the provided designs?

Me: yes I do...?

Qa: well it doesn't, please check

Me: well I hate playing find the difference, how about you fucking tell me what exactly is wrong?

You know, sometimes I wish I had friends who knew how to code or new a bit about the programming world. Then I could show them my projects and they could help out of they wanted. I could also get them to properly criticize my designs and script. Instead of the ones that just scroll past your shit and say nothing at all, you know, people who would actually give a little bit of a shit. Sigh.

*3weeks into the project*
Designer: I am done with the designs
Me* finally.
5Hrs Later:
Here's the link to the new designs for this project.

I just told my biggest client that they have to start changing things or they will need to find a different company to work with.

I'm hired to program what they want. They are suppossed to do all the concepting, functional designs, QA, testing.

So they tell me to program feature x, not realising that this interact with feature y. And then complain about the change in feature y. Make me do a lot of extra work and then complain that my estimates are way off.

So I told them they also need to hire my company for the software design and QA and prefferable testing because I'm done getting blamed.

To the left, a conventional circuit board design done by a human. To the right, a design done by TopoR, a software that designs circuits automatically.

It looks absolutely alien, yet beautiful. It doesn't care about how it looks, it doesn't care about angles and alignment. It only cares about efficiency and designs every connection to be as short as possible. It can even account for electric interference.

Humans just cannot compete.

So the CEO tells me our new release needs to be compliant with new guidelines. I say sure, I draft up a few small changes and send them to my PM. He calls an impromptu meeting with the UI team and I explain my changes. They don't like them. They then proceed to draft and redesign a new UI based on these new requirements, I tell them that they are overthinking everything and remind them of the rules of KISS. 45 minutes of me silently waiting and an entire 4x8 whiteboard of designs, I tell them this is an entire redesign and that we will never make our end of the year deadline. PM goes silent for a minute, then responds "yeah I guess your right, let's just implement your original changes"

Upon a certain angry Germans recommendation I started getting into flutter.

Best fucking decission ever. Shit is simple and makes sense.

I ain't tagging him cuz he don't like being tagged.

But thanks man!! You know who you are!

The code makes sense, the widget tree hierarchy makes sense, knowing the native counterpart helps whenever the flutter portion ain't doing it(has not happened yet) and dart is really a good language.

The tooling is fucking genius, funny enough the emulators open quicker with vs code than android studio or xcode(fuck those two btw, 2 fucking years of hate towards them ain't going away) and building designs programatically make waaay more sense.

Flutter gave me back my hope for mobile development. This is google knowing that they fucked up Android development and fixing it and schooling IOS development for taking a good set of languages(obj c and swift) nd fucking them up with their shit way of development.

I am in love.

I'm getting so fucking tired of frontend development...

I still like part of it, but I really hate CSS, browser compatibility, stupid users, dumb requests from product owners and fucking weird designs. And to top it all, it's the frontend team that handles all the pressure when the deadline comes up and the project's late, even if it was the product/design/whatever phase that took too much time.

Being a frontend developer is very stressful and has so many annoyances and I'm getting sick of it.

My company's been promising giving me some backend work because there are some backend-heavy projects coming up and they know I have the skills, but they just keep giving me frontend work. Also, one of our frontend developers is on leave, which means more work for the rest of us.

Why did I ever decided to do frontend development?

What the fuck is wrong with the designers? We have had meetings with the client, a proposal drawn up, a project spec written, budget agreed, witeframes drawn up exactly to spec. Designer involved in all stages for input and ideas. Now the designers have the wireframes, they are supposed to create based on these. No they make up what goes on the pages that bare no resemblance to the wireframes in terms of requirements. I am fucking fuming. I have sent the designs back with a note. Please provide designs based on the wireframes.

I'M TIRED OF HEARING THAT DEVELOPMENT IS NOT A CREATIVE FIELD! Creativity is emerging new ideas from non-existent ones. It is not confined to pretty designs or well-written copy. Sure, devs are logical problem solvers – but not a single dev will solve those problems the same way. Code is like the paint on our dark-themed canvases and you can see yourself out if you think devs are just robotic coding machines

public void NoRant()
{
I have a small hobby.. T-Shirts.. I make them for myself sometimes, when I'm bored.. so.. I thought to myself.. If I don't get a T-shirt from devRant.. I'll make one myself))) I found myself making several designs.. Here's one example:
}

Fuck you dickhead. If you don't like how I'm doing things, just fucking do them yourself. Or how about you give me some specifications, designs, a consistent database model? No? Fine, then don't fucking complain when I make do with what I have.

1 friend who is currently studying in Canada.
I am not aware if he uses devrant or not.

Met him in a national robotic competition 3 years back.
Somehow, we exchanged numbers and nowadays we talk often whenever we get time (considering our busy life and timezone difference)

He is studying robotics and frequently sends me his designs and output with 3D printer.

About me, I left robotics(to be specific embedded) and got a job and working on backend these days.

Though, it's great talking to him and getting to know how the education goes there and his new works.

He also has a beautiful love story(not yet completed) which is another fun part to listen from him.

Designers, who also code HTML/CSS, never do complex designs.

You've been noticed 😐

My boss still thinks that resizing his browser is equivalent to mobile testing, and his designs are desktop only and says "just have everything stack on top of each other"

below is how I feel.

* {
position: absolute;
Z-index: 1;
Top: 0;
Left:0;
}

Today I got pulled into a meeting with my 'boss'. Apparently the UX/CX person went and bitched to his bosses about the developers not following the UX/CX designs.

We missed two things. The font size for a 3 letter word was slightly off, and we missed a period at the end of some text.

I wish I was joking.

I just bought an amazing Bluetooth headphone but I'm really FUCKING PISSED because when its charging the led flashes green and when it is charged it flashes some fucking other tone of green and as someone who has daltonism it makes me really fucking frustrated because I can't say tell the difference even if my life depended on it... PLEASE DONT BE THE STUPID CUNT THAT DESIGNS SHIT LIKE THAT! JUST MAKE IT NON COLOR DEPENDANT FOR FUCK SAKE!

Thanks.

Just web designer things 😂
Share your experiences with such designs in comments. Would love to hear a few

I am a terrible designer. When i say terrible i mean my designs for website somehow always manage to look like an ugly piece of shit.

Halp?

We needed a design for our Android and iOS App, everything should be done by an award-winning design agency. What we received was only a design for iPhone X. Only mockups as PDF, no icons, nothing. So we requested the Android design and an iPhone 8 one including icons, color codes and whatnot.

1 FUCKING MONTH LATER we got the new designs... They are all the FUCKING SAME DESIGN where some mockups were "displayed" on an android phone, and some on an iPhone. Still no icons though.

3 weeks pass and we geht FUCKING sketch files, to extract the shit ourselves. Thank you for nothing.

It took again nearly 3 month to get a "proper" Android design and all the assets. You could clearly see, that they never did anything for Android but well, we had to work with it. Award-winning design agancy my ass.

Am I the only one who can't take the IT nonsense in TV SERIES (especially crime series) anymore? ANY UI shown on an arbitrary screen looks like garbage! And in addition to the f*cked up screen designs, every damn action of course makes weird beep noises, which would be totally annoying after like 3 secs IRL. How the heck are we supposed to take such BS seriously? This totally destroys so many TV series for me!
(Also, I have to explain to my wife why I'm laughing all the time! :p)

Anyone else does this?

I can't for the life of me maintain focus during long boring meetings about new designs etc. For 2 years now I've gone by doing all kinds of stuff during meetings and only ocassionaly join in when I totally disagree with something.

Often I only need to chime in at the end anyway, either meeting notes get shared or I ask someone what was discussed the previous day.

Makes me realize how much time gets wasted

Saw one of these in store today.
Who designs these "Ergonomic" things?
My fingers starts aching just by looking at this..

Discussion between a new hire (NH) and a designer (D) in our project :
D : "I need the final designs"
NH : "You haven't given me any content"
D : "I'm sending you a layout with dummy text"
*2 days later*
NH : "WHATS LOREM IPSUM?!"

Mentor: “Hey, have you checked the Figma for the designs?”
Me: “What’s Figma?”
Mentor: “Figma nuts in your mouth”

I loved him. I will die for him.

Didn't had to fix anything (so far). But took my dev laptop to show all the projects I've been working on to the dad of my girlfriend and he showed me his projects.
He's not mainly a dev, but an electrical ingenieur. He designs his own pcb boards (with 8bit processors on them, as "that's more than enough power to do almost anything!") and then programs that stuff with basic (he writes his own firmware for it).
He also creates desktop application to get data off the devices using Delphi.

Love that guy and have a shittln of respect for him!

Not directly a dev related rant but needed to write it somewhere. (Also, long long rant, be aware).

I am currently working on a project for a client who is going to launch a new product. He wants us to create the brand and choose the logo, colours, communication... BUT before everything we have to deliver the website design.

We told him several times that the design has to be created AFTER the brand is created, however, he insisted. Then, we offered him to develop the UX/UI patterns but the colors and a few more things would be delivered after, so his 3rd party dev could make the job.

After working on the first draft, we sent it to him and he refused it, calling it "poor designed". We insisted that it was a draft for the UI which he ignored.

He asked for another design by taking as example a website from another (unrelated) company. We worked for another 2 days and delivered a more finished design, which he automatically refused again.

He called us to his office in order to provide us exactly what he wanted in every part of the site. He only gave us the home page and the product page, and ordered us to work through the weekend (Which we didn't as he is being quite petty about everything and bullying us).

We delivered this third draft and he made changes, sometimes going back to things that he refused before.

Now his 3rd party dev has things to work, but he called yesterday today telling us that the rest of the site must be before friday, date in which we will be showing him how the brand will be and what we have created. He didn't care about and demanded the designs.

I helped the designer to develop the designs of the website as I can work in Photoshop (I am mostly front web developer but can design UI) but he is now busy working on the brand and I had to make ALL the remaining designs, knowing that the client will reject them as soon as they are sent to him, since he hasn't given us any indication on how and what he wants.

We developers sometimes make futile work which will be used a few days or months or in order to provide demos, however, the time I wasted today made me get behind other deadlines, which makes me feel bad for not being able to accomplish them.

Throughout the years I have completed many projects successfully. Some projects really stood out and were awesome to do. This is not about these projects. It is however about one of my very first projects for my first real software development client many years ago, somewhere around the year 2000.

I was working for some years at TNO, a well known Dutch organization, and the lady at the reception asked me if I could help her husband out because he was strugling to get some web app developed. So I said sure, I can talk to him and see what I can do.

So I went to their house and talked to her husband. They were living in a huge villa and turns out her husband owns an international flower export business for which he needed some web app for. So we had a nice talk and he showed me some software designs he got from a couple of different big companies. He asked me my opinion about these designs. I remember answering something like that it looks very fancy but for me it didn't make much sense.

He replied that it didn't make sense for him as well and was disappointed that these companies didn't seem to understand him properly. It took about 3 months to get these designs which he thought were useless. So, I asked him to explain me what he was looking for.

Actually a pretty simple thing. He was using paper forms to have his clients order the flowers they need. Think of them as Excelsheets with 3 columns with a list of flower names and besides each column a column for the amount required. He would go to the flower auction at 4 in the morning to collect all these filled in forms, manually aggregate them on new forms, and then go to buy the flowers ordered.

This man had many clients and truck drivers. Some of them only worked or ordered at specific days. It was also important that one could easily indicate which flowers were really important to get.

Then comes this 20 year old guy (me) who delivered a working prototype in 24 hours. You can imagine how happy this man was. He said: if you built this for me I will pay you 10K. In the meanwhile for fun you can borrow one of my sports cars if you want.

I took the deal, drove a big fat sports car for about 1.5 months, I delivered and the man payed me as promised.

The web app I developed is today still being used every day. I don't think there is any other project out there, at least not that I'm aware of, that I have worked on and is still being used today in its form as it was originally developed.

My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.

She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.

She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.

~2 years ago:

Me: Managed to figure out how to port that library. Just need designs and then we can build feature X. I've tested it in ugly developer-y screens. It works fully

Boss: Thats awesome, saw the video, looks great. This is a really important feature, thanks for looking into this

~1.5 years ago:

Me: Ok i've started working on the designs, just FYI we don't have designs for feature X

Boss: Ok, must have slipped, noted

~1 year ago:

Me: I've seen more posts about users wanting apps with features X in it. Still don't have designs, we working on that?

Boss: I'll check with design

~3 Months ago:

Boss: Ok were going to have to get serious about pulling features out and reducing MVP so we can get this out there. I think feature A, D, Y and X have to be dropped for v1. Theres too much left to do on them

Me: sure

~1 week ago:

Boss: We need to start getting ready for xxxxx. Can you do me a favour and start writing up some developer docs etc, kind of like this one we did for this other project

This morning opening my emails from last night:

Boss: I've reviewed the doc, looks good, only minor things need tweaking. Let me ask you something though, you said feature X was pulled out and its "pending design work". Its not only pending design work is it? Is it that far along?

==========
What I actually replied:

Yes ... i've sent you videos of it functional in the past, and discussed this ... more than once. Just design ... and some testing of the new designs obviously

==========
What that meant:

Yes. May god have mercy on your soul if you reply anything even remotely close to "oh I had no idea, lets revisit adding this to v1". I will not be held accountable for my actions

Don't hire a designer if your gonna ignore his designs and make me implement your shitty designs

WTF chrome/google?! Fuck you & your new designs & features!!
Anyone else got forced new grouping for tabs after the update?! Hey, you can group tabs in.. I know, I just don't want to!! It's fugly and annoying and counterproductive..
It used to work to change flags to not have that 'feature' but I can no longer force the old layout for tabs even with flags.. :/ It's driving me nuts..

Anyone else annoyed that they can code a really good website (as in PSD to HTML) but just aren't creative enough to come up with a design? I find myself on Dribbble a hell of a lot of the time coding designs that others have done out of boredom, but stunned by how amazing their designs are. I'm just not creative enough.

When my dad is answering questions about what job i'm doing, he always says 'He designs websites'. :(

*Designs front-end sends it to my boss*
Boss: Looks good. No changes needed.
*Hosts the design*
Boss: Ah, well these icons need to be different maybe and this font is too boring, try something else.
*Cries internally*

The client always goes like... I want the android app to look exactly like the ios app.... Am like you know these are two platforms with different designs guidelines

Start-ups and corporations trying new things be like:
"Why should we pay a developer or a company to develop this and this for us when we can just:
- start a competition.
- get free design mockups and code.
- decide which is better.
- reward a small prize and maybe some freebies to the competitors.
- profit. FREE CHEAP CODE AND DESIGNS!!!"

It might be the reasonable and logical thing to do from a business standpoint if its about code you need to rarely maintain..

But from an independent developer viewpoint - FUCK YOU AND THE SLOW ENSLAVEMENT OF MY SPECIE!!!

Hi Lead Architect,

Oh? You want me to explain how database clustering works? I guess you're just testing me because I'm new and junior.

Oh, and also explain how load balancing works? And what a bastion host is?

What's the architectural intent of this project? Let's have a look at the documentation and diagrams you have been creating of your designs.

You don't have any? That's okay, you've only been leading the architect team on this project for a year now.

Why don't you just keeping asking the most junior dev on the team about how the fuck you are supposed to do your job. As if I know how to do your job when I have zero training and am just expected to know everything.

Oh, its 3pm and you're heading to the pub. That's cool, I'll just guess what I need to build.

Received screen designs for a new website in Adobe Illustrator format with all the measurements in centimetres.

I just don't get my coworkers. They tweak designs, they tweak functionality, but no task is made.

They just simply update designs in Figma, without notifying anyone or just msg me on Slack what to change...

How the fuck do you guarantee that all those tweaks will get reflected to the app? How do you guarantee I won't forget? How do you guarantee QA will test your stupid tweaks?

When the hero turns into villain.

Windows memory management is one of the worst architectural designs in tech industry to ever exist.

One mistake on my part is I did not opt for SSD four years ago when my purchased my current laptop.

The entire experience is irritating.

You design an idiot-proof system.

The universe designs a better idiot.

I'm working on an open source openvpn client for linux with a gtk gui and some cool features i have in mind. I wrote most of it's daemon and now i'm going for the gui. But,... the problem is..., i'm not a ui dev, so every ui i make is awful. I feel like i'm either stuck or have to choose one of my bad ui designs. what do you think i should do? how can i get some help?

Me explaining what that weird thing is to the clients:

This will be 4chan-r/greentext-ish in format. Also "me" is not me, PTH, it's referring to a game studio.

>Be me
>Be game studio
>Create event for weapon design
>Player base submit in a craptonna designs
>Holyfuck.jpg
>Create an internal service for voting
>Service doesn't check for vote except for a login
>MFW one submission has 6-digit votes
>MFW a lotta submission also start gain a lot of votes
>WTF.gif
>The vote count spiked
>Votebotting is here
>Ohshit.gif
>MFW I don't how to filter votes
>MFW I can't block rerouted traffics (VPNs, proxies, etc.)
>MFW the Discord server of the game gets vocal then Reddit.
>OhshitIfuckedup.mp4

If the project goes overbudget it's because you fucking gave away the custom made software for too fucking cheap.

Not because of the amount of hours building this piece of shit site which btw I was never consulted on the estimates and not even mentioned about the 2 different designs for the same fucking site or even how it needed to be architected.

As a contractor you depend on your time, not on a fixed salary. No perks, nor fucking swag.

My advice is if the company thinks that working remotely is a perk, then fucking run away.

I fucking hate the design and aesthetics of PC gaming hardware in general. Who the fuck do they design those things for, edgy teenagers? Give me something that looks well built and professional, damnit. Heck, most console designs are much better.

I just love the love the perfect pixel precision that apple allows on their 'perfect' designs.

Jeff Dean Facts (Source: God)

Jeff Dean once failed a Turing test when he correctly identified the 203rd Fibonacci number in less than a second

Jeff Dean compiles and runs his code before submitting, but only to check for compiler and CPU bugs
Unsatisfied with constant time, Jeff Dean created the world's first O(1/n) algorithm

When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation

Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers

Jeff Dean wrote an O(n^2) algorithm once. It was for the Traveling Salesman Problem

Jeff Dean's watch displays seconds since January 1st, 1970.

gcc -O4 sends your code to Jeff Dean for a complete rewrite

The designer of a new version of an app sent me the the new designs. I immediately noticed the menu-icon in the bottom right. (In a tab bar)

This is not common and even discouraged by design docs of iOS and Android. So I told him that and he thought we could try it.

After scrolling through the designs I saw the screen where the menu was open; the close button was also on the bottom right. I told him that users are not used to have a menu close button on that position. He said "Every other company is doing it wrong, so we're here to make that difference".. The only thing I thought was 'Okay, so Google is doing it all wrong all the time.'.

So now it's in the app and I don't like it.

I currently have a design meeting with the CEO. He joined the meeting on his iPhone mini and the designs are for a desktop app.

What a joke

I've had today a meeting with the CEO regarding some designs. Here have some quotes that he made:

1. So you can click, click, click, click, click
2. numbers are so complicated so I just said something
3. I like the vibe in Amsterdam
4. We are doing a rebranding. Our rebranding document is the color of the 2 blues and one orange
5. I've to ask my wife for the design (with no design experience) to make the rebranding documents
6. In <the app our technicians/support use>, you can brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb
7. This is what differeniate us between most applications; FAVORITE SQUARES
8. I never watch that mess. I don't even know if it works or have ever worked with it. (talking about a simple table view)
9. You have been reported to the admins (in an admin-only application for our customers)
10. It's always nice to see developers think; when I don't think
11. But it's already an iPhone (when looking at android designs & cries in largest userbase in my country)

Expectations VS. Reality : A new Software Project (After all designs and requirements are clear and fixed.)

EXPECTATIONS:
Day 1: Create workspace, Configure tools
Day 2: Implement high priority Feature
Day 3: Write UT and peer review
Day 4: Push first feature to Prod.

REALITY:
Day 1: Create workspace, Setup configurations
Day 2: Still setting up configurations
Week 1: Almost done setting up configurations
Week 2: New migrations issue, again reconfigure before coding starts
Week 3: Take a vacation
Month 2: Finally things are working but God knows what was the issue...

Absolutely the best quote from Tao Of Programming...

A novice asked the Master: "Here is a programmer that never designs, documents or tests his programs. Yet all who know him consider him one of the best programmers in the world. Why is this?"

The Master replied: "That programmer has mastered the Tao. He has gone beyond the need for design; he does not become angry when the system crashes, but accepts the universe without concern. He has gone beyond the need for documentation; he no longer cares if anyone else sees his code. He has gone beyond the need for testing; each of his programs are perfect within themselves, serene and elegant, their purpose self-evident. Truly, he has entered the mystery of Tao."

Spec meeting with my client: "Accessibility is very, very important to us. We want to be sure that we meet AA guidelines, at a minimum."

Client delivers front end mockups, can do nothing. Not one single element on it is compliant - have to send it back for revisions.

The fact that they were aware of the WCAG and the AA tier guidelines, and still handed me these shitty designs is pretty impressively stupid.

When your director wants a website done by next week, but makes you wait for designs from the same guy he keeps giving "high priority" assignments to....

Saw someone talking about web 3.0 and the bright and shiny possibilities, today. Web 3.0, will be an ad that opens into an ad that asks you to turn off ad blocker. That, mixed with fucking tile designs and PowerPoint scroll locking. And injected mobile subscribe now banners. Welcome to the future!

Sorry if I'm just ignorant but: I see a lot of rants about designers expecting pixel perfect implementations of their designs. Is that for real? In my world there is hardly ever pixel values at all. It's not paper publishing. It's web, things have to scale. For an iOS app where you have a few known screen sizes - fine. But web? Come on...

And that's without even going into CSS or browser quirks.

when your company has Sketch but some designers still use Photoshop for website designs

Einstein supposedly has a quote attributed to him: "Perfection isn't achieved when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to remove."

I find that I aggressively refactor code where I can to only what is absolutely required. It does also have the knock on effect of reducing scope of bugs, when the code is smaller there's only so many places bugs can be.

Tesla claimed to have the ability to create designs in his head and only built things once he was satisfied that it worked in theory first, now it's rare I can do that, but I will use a repl to prototype or test modules in isolation before just hacking on the actual code.

Jobs, I mean, I know he didn't code but he was always insisting on designs that looked good and was generally uncompromising in his design centric view.

My friend, she was my Starbucks barista for a while but I've slowly been teaching her code and she's taught me a lot about how to teach others to code, she also happens to be my favourite student.

This is how i setup my laptop after my long journey of paying.

I used it for gaming, rendering designs and development. 😍😍😍

Assignment release: this is a basic assignment that is supposed to help you understand the basics of memory allocation. You are free to use any design you want, however you can implement more advanced features that would lean towards specific designs. What will be punished is that you don't have a dynamic memory allocator. We will run the tests for these offline after the deadline

2 days before the deadline: we released the tests for checking whether you're allocating memory dynamically, but these tests also check for this specific design. So fuck you for choosing any other design than this one. Have fun on sleepless nights.

Fuck me, I guess, for worthlessly working on a different design than they wished for, but didn't specifically ask for from the beginning. I just wasted 2 weeks of my life and feel unmotivated af to do anything anymore regarding this. Fuck this shit. Fuck them. Fuck this course.

My biggest problem with designers is when they have no empathy for the platform(s). Here's a design that I made based on my love of graphic design and Photoshop. Over to you to just slap it on iOS, Android and web. Ends up as a substandard result everywhere.

And, of course, the Photoshop designs look great to managers.

I work with a designer who provides me with the mockups of the websites we do where I work. We use Figma, which is a tool similar to Sketch. I do design myself and with this tool is quite easy to mockup sites.

This designer is the worst person I've ever met in terms of document organization. He never organizes the layers of the documents, or even cares to assign names to each layer. It's not that hard with simple designs but when it comes to develop a full website it becomes awful.

I've been asking him politely to organice those documents into layers and groups for almost three years to which he never does.

I'm not able to find the proper words to ask again politely and when I do, he just puts the layers without order into a bunch of groups and calls the job done.

How hard is to be a bit emphatic to your coworkers and spend 5 minutes of your time making their life easier?

I fucking hate how much content I need to block with ublock to make websites less shit. Fuck your banners. Fuck your surveys, fuck your newsletters/mailing lists. And fuck your fucking shit website designs.

Can't be the only one who sits there individually blocking all annoying elements on sites with uBlock. Many hours 'wasted' for the sake of making everything a bit less shit

Edit:tags

Frontend-Developer steps into my office and tells me that my code does not work and that he has checked everything.

>me confused, cause I did it every time so<

So I spent one hour to check and recompile my code again and again. I created more console outputs than my whole last week... And at the end... It was not my fault, I had to find out that the front- and backcolor of his label are the same so the text was not visible.

Dear frontend developer,

I love your designs and most of the time you make a really good job, but please check something like this before you confuse a backend developer for one hour and let him doubt about himself...

Thanks!

Sincerely,
Your backend dev

Why do clients approve site designs just to complete change their minds upon delivery?!?

Management proposed to work with external freelancers, to "pick up speed so we can release these new designs sooner". We agreed, but of course we (the home team) can't have time to review their work because we need to develop other new features and bugfixes and such...
Weeks later, turns out that their changes are largely incompatible with the work we have been doing on the main branch. We are now rebasing/rewriting huge chunks of their work, probably taking as much time as it would have cost us to develop the design ourselves in the first place.

1. Started in Graphic Design and now able to bring my designs to full products.

2. Gives me a sense of progression.

3. Don't have to be charismatic.

Oh great...
I am slowly beginning to realize that my boss/manager doesn't care about refactoring at all. He cares about features and resolved tickets and thats why the code is a pile of spaghetti filled with hacks to fit every clients desires.
Also all of my coworkers work for themselves, ticket by ticket, either because they just don't care or because they are so frustrated that they don't care anymore. And here I am, an intern, and they expect me to cope with this deformed clutter of legacy designs, buried under hacks and workarounds, while implementing some new feature which in the end I have to put on top of everything else because nothing of that codebase can be reused. Fucking shit, fucking irresponsible managers who dont think about the quality of their product.

Making calls, meetings, and "brainstorming" half-baked features or designs or any other slop bullshit for 12 hours a day?

Wow, you are an impressive "startup bro"!!!

Coding, testing, running emulators, tests, reading technical documentation, ensuring product success in the real world, and implementing efficient full stack software for 12 hours a day?

Fuck you!!!

These are the expectations of management. Just remember, what they do is "extremely difficult", but you are simply just a resource queue that takes input and converts it to real-world implementation.

Give me a fucking break

Sprint for a website due Monday, would of been nice to get the website designs before Wednesday :/ and the content before yesterday.....

So I had this client who wanted me to develop a brand new website for his company. When I asked him about the money he'd pay me, he said he'll pay me whatever it takes.

So I started coding JavaScript day-in-day-out, trying to show him different designs. He saw them and was pretty impressed by the progress. Then he fucking asked me to code sitting in his office so that it gets finished faster. I even do that!!

After 3 months of grinding, I asked him for my payment. That fucker stopped returning my calls and emails. He didn't even use my website. Then a month later I found that that fucker had called in a cheaper web developer and got his website designed JUST LIKE MINE!!!

I fucking hate freelancing!!

Feature creep is absolutely terrible. Every freaking time I start working on my game I’ll tell myself, “okay, I’m almost done. 90% done, just got to finish up these designs her- wait a minute, does that button look right?” *Proceeds to completely redesign the UI and add 8 more options.* etc, etc.

Point is, I need to stop adding stuff. I need a hard deadline.

##Design to front-end conversion

Me - Send me the designs so i can start working it

Graphic Designer - Done ( Sends PSD files )

Me - Send me them separately, element by element, with transparency, color codes and flattened designs not PSD's

GD - Done

Me - Opens email to see elements that should be transparent saved as jpg's

Me - Opens PSD's, crop and save elements.

Meanwhile explains next time do this and that so it'll be easier.

Usually this happens few times a month

A message to designers and developers:

please please please stop being so touchy about your designs/software. The final work is meant to be used/enjoyed by end users, customers, clients, young people, old people, disabled people, short attention span people, irrational people, patient people etc. So if they say it's not good enough accept it go back and make it simpler (not necessarily better but simpler) and move on!!

Stop going into defence mode and start throwing your toys out the pram or giving people the silent treatment.

Sorry just been on the receiving end and boy is childish.

keep getting website designs made in InDesign with widths in pt units without any grid and the client complains the layout isn't pixel perfect when 1220pt width doesn't look the same on 1220px. i had to make the desktop layout 1626 px wide...

Spent quite some time getting the UI of a redux weather app im working on. Below is the final design i have in the app at the moment. Sre thefe any good places to have standards as designs or does it fall away with cross platform development with redux?

The last days I'm going totally insane for parallax designs. Have you tried them by yourself? Have some links?

As a mediocre, how do you understand complex systems? How do you effectively read internal documents and designs so you can take out information for your particular use case?

I feel like my intelligence is less than average and I either deep dive too much or too shallow. I am slow and coming on to a decision about my use case after reading through is next to impossible for me but my teammates are fine with these.

Haha I started to read some programming books (want to get better in pattern designs, etc) and now I am dreaming code for 3 days in a row. Maybe I shloud stop? Fml

Asked our designer today if a 2px radius is really needed. He said yes. So we showed him his designs and he said it looked shit... thinking we chnaged the radius... bloody designers

I am working with a team that's producing tons of new services..
And me being a fresher, reading new designs every other day with God knows complex implementations and business requirements and attending design review meetings(where I can barely understand anything)
having a great learning curve..
Hopefully, I survive this period and cope up with the inputs...
Note: Just don't ask what's my contribution.. I am gearing up for the D-Day to make my impact(not a negative one).. 😎

Just started to make some UI designs in sketch to try it out at least once. I have to admit, it makes a lot of fun ^^

Me - "Designs and creates a new staff page for work"

Result - "everyone at work loves it"

Me - "I feel really accomplished"

Co-worker - "I'm gonna use this design, that you made, for my interviews for jobs and say I made it"

Me - "wtf"

Just seen the website of a local web agency, poked around through their portfolio and found out that they were using PHP 5 and JQuery 2. For websites opened less then a year ago , and the designs were so bad and old they almost made me cry.

How do they manage to get away with that is beyond me (as it seems to be a quite successful agency)

When a dev designs a parking structure

I always spend a lot of time thinking about the responsiveness of my designs, often I get stuck for some time due to random images, backgrounds etc not fitting the device size and then I check other sites to get inspired and get disappointed and sad how most developers just don't give a shit and either the background just gets cut off, images just hidden instead of aligned for example to the left further down the content and so much more, am I the only one spending so much time into getting my sites/designs perfect across any device and screen size?

This is going to sound like a ridiculous question, but how do you all find both the time and the interest to work on side projects for your portfolio / GitHub? I always seem to start strong, get burned out, and can never find the inspiration to break away from the 9-5 of my day role to work on coding something else... Where do you find ideas? Designs? Concepts? Interesting solutions? I'm in desperate need of building some GitHub repos for my portfolio... 😅😰

Some people think that web development is easy because they use framework for responsive designs, they dont know the struggle of manually using media query in css.

DevRant has increased my asshole-ery. Reading work design docs and I keep thinking, "really? That's your choice? Obviously this is a joke. You expect us to do what?? In what timeframe?"

C++99, C++03, C++11 and C++14

I love when your design finally ends up working, looks good and it's running as fast as Usain Bolt, but why the hell does OOP has to be so ugly and clunky in C++? Constructors and copy constructors designs are barf inducing. Yes I am trying to make it as readable and neat as possible but it still looks like shit overall. And related compiler errors are almost always retarded or unhelpful even though I'm used to it now.

I know you will tell me "why are you using those old ass versions?". Well unfortunately in embedded you are stuck with old crap until some envoy of the gods finally up the standards... or if I do it myself for a specific platform.

ok. been going full steam since December with 1 day off since. managing teams, review designs, designing, prototyping, code reviewing, mentoring, and doing project. management. i get that it's a "flat" org structure but hire proper PMs and BAs instead of trying to pinch pennies. all the while, i see marketing with deeeeeeep pockets spending money on anything like mommy and daddy are funding their spring break getaway. i need time to disconnect and recharge my spirit.

My new thing is taking pictures of retro looking ads. It's because I'm an uncreative web developer, and those designs are really easy to steal. Sometimes people look at me like I'm crazy. It's because they don't understand the important work I'm doing, optimizing laziness itself.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a mobile app development company to make a clone of the current contacts app. 3 points from 10 mins conversations;

1. They offered me for a working prototype in just 35% of actual app development cost. They'll take 15 days to work on that. ( Me: "Do you mean the prototype that I created in 40 mins using invision and sent you its video recording?" after a little argument they agreed that they meant the same.)

2. They said they will have to embed the complete search engine in the app. (Really!! we never name searching in DB as "search engine")

3. They said they'll take approx 15 days in UI and UX. (Me: "will you change the designs I shared?" They: "It is our internal process, we can't give much detail on that")

When you want the best gaming rig on the planet but all other designs are too mainstream

Why is it so hard to find a designer/front-end dev partner and/or freelancer that can make mobile specific designs!?

New C++ Developers:

Omg no I don't want to put that button there just because you are saying it Jim. I

I'm so fustrated when everyone thinks they can add stuff to designs BRO I MAPPED OUT A CUSTOMER JOURNEY INFRONT OF YOUR BRO R U BLIND?! I HAVE TO MAKE ANOTHER PAGE TO THE STUPID BUTTON

ALSO CAN YOU NOT BARK ORDERS AT ME MY INNER DARTH VADER IS NOT HAPPY.

TIL that our creative design team that produces our web designs/layouts are all print designers. They were stumped when I gave them a wireframe mock up as the base for a website design for the first time, with no defined pixel measurements.

If a frontend dev asks for screens, mocks, designs or whatever, all the company pushes for it and gives it to them, but if a backend dev asks for a set of input/output samples for a feature, the same people claim "its so hard to think about the cases"... Wtf are they thinking?

For my design thesis I'm gonna design a banking app for kids. And i'd like to have a look at competitors apps screendesign.
Is it possible to open android and/or iphone apps in android studio/xcode in order to have a look at the screen designs?

Because I'm no kid or parent so getting accsess the legit way is out of question.

Developers insist that I give them a sketch file instead of a zeplin doc I'm like ok fine. Then I am told in like three weeks of development that they don't understand the sketch file when they insisted on it. So I'm like ok fine let me put it on zeplin. Then I'm told to compare their work with my designs. And ofcourse it doesn't match. So i sit and literally go through each margin , each padding with them. Then I'm told that they r over riding exsisting styles and say that's alot of development so I say ok I need to ask the product owner if it's gonna take more time. They get mad at me and say why I need to ask this? Like u told me it's gonna take you longer and I need to tell my boss? Then my boss says confirm all the styles with marketing ( everyone btw has seen my designs, reviewed them, and I have confirmed literally every change) and now I've been told to change a button to red ( why r your cta's and errors the same color I have no idea ??!) And then I tell the developers and they make a huge deal about changing the button from blue to red. NO ONE HERE HAS A STRUCTURE TO PRESENT HAND OFF TO THE DELVEOPERS. ITS SO ANNOYING.

Also can I just say in my presentation time and I had spent time on my designs and someone says oh let me show everyone through my screen.

I literally got a word out before all the delveopers in the room start arguing and skipping my design slides like R FO REAL? LET ME GO THROUGH THE JOURNEY ITS MY JOB.
LET ME HAVE CONTROL ON MY DESIGNS
UAIQBA.EAUKWHWUAGWNKRVIEVJWFEJCSJCSJCAHCSHXWH

sorry. I am typing this sitting on a sofa eating cake when I'm supposed to be on a diet but I'm wallowing and crying

For me it was not do much a choice.

I started out using basic and simple text display (graphics existed but was quite difficult).

For a long time I was the sole or part of a pair of devs so specializing was not possible and once we grew to such a size I already was quite proficient in all areas from hardware to customer support and education.

But from that time onto today I have gravitated towards a more backend role mainly because I lack a good sense or visual design.

I know it something looks good, but doing it my self results in more boring or plain designs where more thought goes into UX than nice looking design.

That said, if we do web applications I can still keep up since it usually is more ux heavy ;)

But when it comes to adding background images, nice color sets and such I gladly defer that to colleagues with a better design sense.

4 days left for project deadline and PM just realized that we are behind in the design. Meeting at 9AM, am sure that they will ask me to work really late to complete, I don't think it's possible.

Guys, should I let this project fail, just note that I didn't receive the designs?

I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:

*********
Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?

*********

I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic

*********

Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS

*********

whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf

*********

Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you

I hate it when people say "can you build me a quick website" without any designs. I HATE design 😩

Am I the only one that can't stand non-maximized windows on Windows but hate maximized windows on Mac?

Could this be a psychological phenomenon in which the designs of these systems make you use them in a specific way? Or am I just retarded?

Anyone else does the same?

I can't be arsed with jobs that mention tensorflow alone as their main tech.

If your company is willing to use tf and not keras, then y'all probably didn't understand what you're dealing with to begin with.

*Red flags and sirens in distance for bad designs*

My team and I worked superrrrr hard for a client and help her build online presence, make graphic designs, motion graphics, Facebook posts, Instagram posts, digitalmarketing. After two weeks, she announced she is shutting her business down. All that hard work was for nothing.

Anyone ever just get seriously discouraged about peoples view on how easy/difficult it is to code?

A client has requested that they want a system built so they can create surveys and send them to people via email all in one tool. Im not a good front end designer but I know how to develop it. So they hired a designer to send me screen mockups and I will develop them. Easy enough.

This is where the bullshit starts... The designer was supposed to send me the V1 designs last Friday so I could begin building. I told them that I could have a rough version of some pages (with placeholder text and whatnot) ready for the following Friday (tomorrow). However the designer didn't send me the designs until 5 minutes before we were all meeting yesterday. We were all going over the designs in the meeting and this is how the conversation went (roughly):

Client: Wow these designs are amazing, I cant wait to see what it looks like when it functions. Are we still going to have a demo version by Friday?

Me: Well seeing as I just got the designs today, Ill have to look them over and get back to you on a new timeline.

Designer: Yah sorry about the delay, designing can be tricky sometimes.

Client: No worries, I understand. However I want to stick to the same timeline and have the demo by Friday.

Me: Well as I said, Im only getting the designs now, this is the first time I'm seeing them so I'll have to look them over and re-evaluate.

Client: Yeah but the designs are done so it will be easy for you to code it by then. It's all right there in front of you. I need to run, excited for Friday! Bye!

Designer: Bye!

Me: ...........

-- I know its partially my fault for saying I could have a demo done by Friday assuming the designer would have it done on time but COME ON. I hate when people say something is easy when they have no idea what it entails or how to even do it.

Am I the only one who finds single page website designs too boring and generic? Frameworks, on one side, increase our overall productivity but on the other side kill all our creativity.

"If design becomes your life, you can be sure a lot of people will be making their living thanks to your designs." - Andrés Contenti

Client decided today that they want to remove a core feature from their search engine that will not only change the app's functionality but the UI it was based around.

I told they client they can't do that. When they asked why I explained that the app has already been built from the designs that were approved two months ago and to switch it now would be a whole other invoice billed per hour.

Needless to say we are not removing this core feature.

*Finger gun to head. Blam!

Great... I was hired to make a store system for this newborn startup... which isn't very tough, given I know PHP. Now they want me to build a social media for designers, just like Instagram, to encourage them to share their designs in an attempt to increase sales. And I'm the only Dev in the startup of ten.

Well, initially, I was not very pleased, but as I researched on how would I even do that, I realised it would really help my skill set, not to mention the points I'll be able to add to be resumé.

So far I've looked up how I'll have to use JSON/XML, coupled with PHP. I chose to learn Angular.JS for frontend dynamicity.

Any advice/help for this novice? Or any better frameworks I could use? (Don't say ruby-our web hosting site does not support it.)

PM: we have plenty of time to develop this app. The client is so slow in providing designs and specifications that it took them 2 months just to give me this lousy mockup where they copy/pasted UI element directly from Photoshop. Btw, i have a meeting this afternoon with them :)
ME: ok. since it's Friday, monday you will update me :)
[Fast forward the weekend]
PM: where the hell is the App ? the client told me we have less than one month to deliver it. why didn't you provide a fully functional pixel perfect prototype yet ? Why don't you communicate with me ?
ME: :|

It's clearly in the contract people.
You walk a client through the entire contract and come launch they want to add pages and change layouts without paying extra because they have 24 hours to launch.
What don't you get about "you approved the site map, layouts, and designs which is what we quoted you for, contract clearly states how much per extra pages and how much to change layouts and designs after approval and work processed"

My craziest interview prep was for the role I just started last week. I applied to AWS and forgot about it, a month later I got invited to do a phone interview followed by a 5 hour on-site loop

I had just 4 days to prepare while already working full-time so I basically didn’t do anything after work for those few days other than cramming through over 50 hours of content on ds & algo, linux, networking and scalable system designs.

It helped that I’ve been working as a software engineer for many years so I just needed to review what I already knew

In previous company I was a backend developer. All the frontend ones were on vacation so it was up me to redo the whole frontend because of design chance. So i thought it couldn't be that bad. Little did i know was that designs were just jpg files with no info about margins or font sizes or anything really and everything was supposed to be pixel perfect. Fuck. That. Place.

I hate final designs using only gray scales. I feel they are mockups. I don't want a fucking rainbow but I need color people!

Just updated my Android one device to Android 10. Ughh, the worst design in the history of Android. Weird status bar icons, ugly fonts and worst possible color combination choices for both dark and light themes.

Google should go back to its colorful lollypop material designs instead of making more and more robotic icons :/

Few days back, I developed an app for a client where users can buy textile designs online.
The designs to be uploaded on the server must be square to display correctly on the app. so I had to make them square manually (by either pattern repetition or by filling extra space).

I was like "fuck me!", 800 design image to make it square and each takes like 1 and half minute. I did uploaded 30 to 40 images and then...

I got really frustrated and I was lazy to make more designs square anymore.. So I developed an algorithm that would identify the type of design and then it automatically makes it square by self decision.

so that was my little anti-laziness for my big laziness.

So at one point I worked on an inherited project that had the worst code I've ever seen. I mean bad, so bad there may no quantifiable measure that can accurately convey how bad. We ended up naming the thing 'the hydra', cause it had a million issues and they just kept growing as we fixed things. To my point, in C++ they implemented their own primitive type Boolean32 as a signed int32 pointer. If that wasn't enough they used it as an octal bit mask. They also switch the value using logical and / or between 2 numbers, 037777777777 and 000000000001. So essentially they only switch this value to 1 or -1 and end up comparing it to their own const true or false. In c++ any value not 0 is == true...apparently not in this code.

I prefer it doing 2 tasks parallely during the initial phase of requirement gathering and design phase.(makes more sense if you are working extremely new system and framework)
1. Keep collecting requirements from clients and understand them.
2. Collect different designing aspects for the project and parallely, build a POC for 2 purpose: to get hands into the new Framework and also as a demo to clients. Working on POC helps in 3 ways: Improving understanding of requirement, improving framework knowledge, and playing around with code whenever bored of designing and reading tons of existing designs..
3. Once primary requirements are clear and fixed, analyse all different designs, if possible I setup meetings with senior devs, principal engineers (they help a lot when it comes to reviews on scalability and reliability of a design)
4. The above design is mostly architectural level. Once design is fixed, then I start taking each component and prepare a detailed implementation design. (Notice that whenever I am bored of designing, I spend sometime in building POC)
5. In detail design, I focus on modularity and flexibility. Anything defined should have getters and setters for example. This will help you reuse your code. Keep the interface between components in your design as generic as possible, so that in case your MySQL is change to Postgre or NoSQL, your design should be able to adapt new features..
6. Instead of building entire project, define feature targets and deliver small features.. this will help you to be in line with the requirements with minimum deviation.

Wrote a detailed spec, costed and agreed. Meanwhile client and designer agree upon half baked designs that only vaguely resemble the spec. Don't worry though, I have balls. I'm not a yes man. Will put them both straight (again) on how the fuck we do things if it involves me, incompetent twats. Will soon be calling the shots again. Ha ha, it's either that or I fucking walk.

I really hate doing all the tweaks for tablet and mobile on websites. No matter how hard one tries to design for mobile first and make the transitions as seamless as possible, there are always some “fiddly bits” that won’t behave. And so many devices with all their viewport width variations. Also, there’s the matter of people resizing a desktop browser to any width that might not be covered by the breakpoint ranges that specifically. One could write a hundred breakpoints and still not account for it all on some designs. It’s exhausting.

Got designs on Wednesday afternoon. Final changes on Thursday and they expected me to work all weekend because they were lats for designs I asked 1 month ago for QA and testing. Not my fucking problem.
And not working on a weekend.

And today got told that components were missing and they needed animations. No fucking duh

Fuck it, i just gonna learn apache tika datacrawler.
I can't code and i'm a designer. But where's will there is a way. Doing designs with real data is much more fun than with lorem ipsum, even more if its self parsed.
Is anybody familiar with apache tika / nutch?

RAT. HOLE. FUCK.

The retrospective is not the time to develop features and designs. We have burnt 45 minutes of an already ludicrously long retro ( 3 hours ).

Too much coffee + this horse fucking shit is geeking me out.

Fuck interviewers that ask for your public github repo that you did in your own free time.

Do they also ask structural engineers for bridge designs they made in their own free time....

I've had enough. I can't handle those bad designs layouts anymore. It is getting on my nerves to receive designs from "professionals" that don't think about responsive layouts, correct alignments, grid, vector shapes, use 6 different font families, and have graphics placed in the most wrong places.

Oh, and let's not forget that such design should be coded in 15h. Sure dear client. Keep dreaming, idiot.

A junior front end developer colleage of mine doesn't know the meaning of aspect ratio and doesn't understand why he needs to understand it or why is it important for responsive designs.

The moment when you short circuit a new 1TB disk because the the external disk case has on one side conductive bumpers (I think for ESD purpose) ... Who designs this shit? D:

Who works on finalizing build automation designs on a Friday at fucking 12 A.M. what the fuuuuuck

Just curious with you all, what do you like to do besides coding but still count as productive?

Me, I make Music and Designs in my free time, even joined a music group at campus

!Question.

Why Web Designs are all the same ? Is it Bootstrap & Cie's fault or the Web Designers one ?

I have working on a new website for a client that interfaces with their internal systems, meaning we must collect the data fields required by the client. A look over the designs reveals such huge inconsistencies in the data input that we may as well not have bothered designing it.

Fuck Outlook, fuck creating email templates from scratch, fuck complex email designs...but most of all fuck outlook and people who complain thier email campaign/newsletter doesn't look right in Outlook

Work on projects where designs come reliably before development and nobody self-merges their work. Ahhh, agency work...

We used to have clients of every levels of intellect.
Once one of them, a she, after a week of starting their mobile apps development came and asked
"Why is it taking so long? The designs were ready and so do the backend. Why do app developers taking much time to connect these two.?"
She definitely thought mobile apps are simply the psd designs we provide being connected to the backend. Face palm

Is it necessary for a UX designer to have front-end programming knowledge to give technically feasible and maintainable designs??

PM asked me to work on new designs of website and said could not give me more than 3 days. On top of the he gave me bunch of issues to fix and did not consider fixing of those issues progress.

Have you already used fullscreen video as a background/intro screen in one of your designs ? Do you have a preferred method of implementation ?

I made 3 designs (more like proof of concepts) 2 months ago for a certain feature request.

2 months ago:
I presented to the CTO & CEO and the senior developer.
Senior developer prefers design A
CTO prefers design A with some very minor changes
CEO prefers design C with some major changes (ok, at this point is it more design D)
CTO & senior dev tried to argue for his idea but gave up.
So we decide to implement Design D

Now:
Customers complained that the designs is not clear (UX-wise)
CEO: "I have the idea to make some adjustments" and explained design A.

This happens pretty much for every other feature request since I started doing designs for new features. Previously they implemented it without designs.

I keep thinking that I need to set up my site for a portfolio or something, but then I remembered that I'm really bad at coming up with designs.

Have tried to look up some other sites for inspiration, but I always get these really impressive sites that me feel even more potato :c

Company: We have a new front-end project for you to work on.

Me: Oh fantastic, send me over the designs over on Zeplin and I'll start working on it and we'll sort out the links and wording later.

Company: We want it done using Webflow.

Me: -_- hmm fine.

"A lot of companies have tried to support designers by giving them 'a seat at the table.' What this usually means in practice, however, is that a designer is sitting at the table well after the important product decisions that influence the design have been made. This is usually where complicated and muddy designs are born. " - Rebekah Cox

I hate it when my bosses approve of a design and then after some time ask me to make some annoying changes. I love programming, but I don't like being bothered by boring tasks.. and the worst part is that my bosses expect me to take care of building the backend, front-end, complete the design of the screens available, make up designs for the screens that are not, test the Web app, solve the bugs created the people who also worked on the project, solve the bugs created by me, and if something is not clear, to ask the client directly, like dude.. I'm just an intern here... and the most annoying of all this is when they take a screenshot of something they don't like and simply write: "change this".... CHANGE IT TO WHAT? if I knew what you would like I would have already done it!!!

A peace of work to be done within 2 weeks for 3 devs
1 dev gets pulled off the team, the other decides now is a good time to take a 2 week holiday
So am the only one left and because the designs weren't even ready for the first week i only had a week to do it, i managed to finish it with some defect obviously, and testing oh yes the testing non, non whatsoever. Only test i had were snapshots. Other than that, nothing. So the demo seemed to please everyone and the whole team got praised for some gr8 work, work that was estimated for 3 but done by one and hah no testing...yet

Google Inbox is starting to be more and more laggy, unresponsive and slow. And they just don't care. Sometimes I'm like clicking fucking 10 times on a thread until it opens.

Also going back to Gmail is not an option as the current version also looks like a Frankenstein's monster with a mix of different designs from material design and something else.

Don't leave "broken windows" (bad designs, wrong decisions, or poor code) unrepaired. Fix each one as soon as it is discovered. If there is insufficient time to fix it properly, then board it up. Perhaps you can comment out the offending code, or display a "Not Implemented" message, or substitute dummy data instead. Take some action to prevent further damage and to show that you're on top of the situation.
We've seen clean, functional systems deteriorate pretty quickly once windows start breaking. There are other factors that can contribute to software rot, and we'll touch on some of them elsewhere, but neglect accelerates the rot faster than any other factor.
"The Pragmatic Programmer"

Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.

Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?

In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.

For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.

I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.

But... ?

I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.

Rant and opinions wanted. Its a long one.

I have been working on a project for a month and a half. For the first week I was requesting designs that I got about 2 of out of 15. For the next week and a half the designer was on holiday so I couldn't do anything but delivered a few more designs once he got back.

This takes us 2 weeks in already. I have other things to do as well so at the same time I work on support tickets and some bespoke development coming in.

I get given 2 or 3 more designs and can't get anything else out of the designer after waiting a week so I have to design everything myself as I go and build it. Something I have never done before.

We are now 3 and a half weeks in. My boss randomly tells my pm it needs to be demo ready the next day. I work furiously to hack something together. It works but key functionality is missing.

I move house and work from home for a week and a half. I do my best but the project is full of bugs and the CSS is horrible because I didn't know what I was making at any stage. It is therefore CSS rules repeated in IDs everywhere.

My colleagues join me on the project because my boss has decided to try and sell it tomorrow.

They run through it and find all the bugs left from me working furiously to get things done quickly. Things like no search pagination and missing validation.

My boss is now pisses at me because the project is not finished, my colleagues are now all working on it. Throughout it all he knew the designer was not delivering me anything and that I was struggling.

Am I in the wrong for writing shit code that came about because I was coding with no idea of what the finished project should look like? Is he in the wrong for dumping this on me and just letting me get on with it even though he knew there were no designs?

Btw I am just finishing a 1 year internship and before this have never done web dev before.

Discuss.

Social media is bad for your self image. When you look at LinkedIn, everybody is making super cool applications and sites everybody just loves!

My work is more of a collection of bad designs intended to inspire more belief in the oncoming failcascade that is the next client's marketing brainfart hoping for happenstance but being shattered on the impervious anvil of shattered hopes and dreams.

It's a shitshow, but at least I get to press all the buttons to advance the stupid plot of a bad comedy.

"Babe Ruth was a Home Run king but he was also a strike out king. Always go for the fences, even if it means some designs strike out with clients. That’s the only way to hit a home run. " - Alex Zevallos

I used to be a fan of Google designs but that all white shit is just too much, the developer console (aka Play console) is annoying and less organized and blinds my eyes!

Is there a collaborative tool to make a project plan, with UI mockups and other designs? Not a something like issue tracker or project timeline.

UX/design departments have process, review and do lots of work designing standard look and components for our front end. We use these.

Sometimes when they give us a mockups for new features they break their own rules/components.

Why are you handing me non-standard designs/components, when you made the standard ones and we could just reuse those.

So were working with this company, and their designer gave us some designs for the app that they wanted us to build, everything was fine and dandy until we realized that there were 6 different font colors, including three different grays... And to top it off, the designs didn't have a color pallet attached, it had a list of colors attached, but most of those were never used in the designs... So we ended up eyeballing and using color inspector tools to get the colors from the design, just to later get told that we used the 'wrong' colors... 😢

So we had a requirement to build some email templates and the guy who was working on that was unable to make some good one.
And I build kinda one and ........... They liked it.
(I'm not good at frontend things and they still liked it lol)

And now they are flooding me with loads of templates to make, and I must say building RESPONSIVE email templates is a fucking pain in the ass and takes a huge amount of time if you're new and your client has provided complex designs with shit loads of fonts which are not supported by half of the inboxes. Maybe I'm not familiar with it that's why.