As a programmer, I'm outraged.

*Starts devRant.*

Notification count: 73.

Where the hell do I even start? o.O

Me: *uses HashMap* for a problem to count some elements*

Lecturer: why are you using HashMap?

Me: it's the best way of solving the problem

Lecturer: I haven't explicitly taught you what a HashMap is so why are you using it?

Me: Because I learn outside of what university teaches me

Lecturer: there's another way to do this

Me: enlighten me

Lecturer: iterate through the array using a nested for loop and count as you go along

Me: why the hell would I want to do that? That literally decreases the efficiency of my program by alot

GG lecturer telling me it's a better idea of making my O(n) runtime into an O(n^2) instead of complimenting my code.

Seriously what the fuck is up with the fucking education system. Since when was it okay to teach students how to completely fuck your code up and promote ways of making your code so inefficient?

My wife wants me to learn another language. I told her I was already fluent in half a dozen languages, and decent at ton more.

Apparently computer languages don't count...

I spent a day teaching my 3 year old nephew to count from 0 and he argued with his teachers the following day that he has 9 fingers. His parents have been called to school 😂

The typical devRanter

1. Uses dark theme of IDE and devRant app
2. Hates his/her clients
3. Likes Arch based distros
4. Checks his/her ++'s count or notifications after publishing a rant
5. Hates facebook
6. Associate the morning with a cup of coffee
7. Can't do any job when there are no headphones
8. iPhone vs Android? - fuck, they both are good/bad
9. Every time googles git command to remove a local branch
10. The best VCS is git, but I never used any other VCS

🎉 As of today, I can proudly count myself among the members of the "Killed Prod on A Friday Afternoon" club. 🎉

I noticed that I frequently notice patterns in my ++ count
I may have a slight obsession with numbers. There are too many screenshots with numbers in my gallery
This is also kind of an evolution of my avatar and my ++ count

Does my old computer count?
2016:
Windows XP
Visual Studio 2010
1GB RAM
An old Pentium inside
I am now worried that both Raspberry pie 3 and my phone, both costing less have better specifications

Fun fact is that I only noticed the 666 rant count AFTER changing my avatars gender for fun/trolling!

!rant

Just wanted to share stuff. It's my first time.

<backstory>
I'm a c# dev, recently got excited about neural networks and stuff. I have a gf who studies biology
</backstory>

So i've noticed yesterday what my gf is doing for her science stuff. She has an image taken through a microscope of some erytrocytes and shit. And she's clicking on those tiny fuckers to count them. There are like almost a hundred of those things in an image and she has a butload of those images.

I was like "what the fuck? Don't you have an app that counts the stuff for you or something?"

And there is none. Or at least i wasn't able to find one. That's bullshit. My inner programmer screams with hate for boring repetitive tasks.

So i guess i'm going to write a neural network to count similar stuff in an image.

So they told me I'm getting paid based on LoC count I committed

Not an office prank, but still makes me laugh..

When my oldest daughter was about 8 months, she loved slapping the keyboard on my wife's laptop. More times than I can count with my hands I received a phone call from her asking how to rotate the screen back from upside-down.

Pwned by a baby

Just spoke with another teams developer. (She's using Java)

Her: so we get a json object from your service, I want an array
Me: well that's not what you said in the specs... And it's not hard since it's just a Map
Her: what Map? It's JSonObject I need an Array
Me: give me the library your using..
Her: here...

I Google the documentation and methods and paste the link and the methods to use:

-length (she also wanted count)
-toJsonArray

This ain't JS, just use the . operator and go thru all the methods' docs... Or learn to use Google

Boss: Hey man, can you do an extra couple of hours today to finish [...] up? I just talked to [person he knows is driving me home that day] and he said he would do them! Can I count on you?
...
Me: Hey, [person driving me home]. Are you really doing the extra hours the boss is asking for? I thought you didn't wanna stay longer today...
[person driving me home]: F*ck no! He hasn't asked me yet.

Best co-workers? Umm, does Google and stackoverflow count?
Coz I am sole IT guy in my company....

I got a used computer case in a second hand hardware store and it still has the sticker with the specs of the computer they wanted to sell it with on it. It was going to be a moderate to shity pc. I built an absolute computing monster in it (i7 6900k, 32GB ram, 23TB storage). I like having visitors over and telling them this is the primary computer I use to do my high particle count fluid simulations and little bigdata projects with.

Had to program a microprocessor to count a pendulum swing, turns out that the only sensor I had for this wasn't working, implemented a function that simulated the swing and presented the projecto in less than 5 minutes so the teacher wouldn't notice

I find statements such as, `count = count + 1` very annoying >_<

> Gradle build finished in 32 seconds

As if you did, fucking cunt. I've only watched half an anime episode and commented here and there in the meantime. Surely that'd be 30 seconds. Perhaps Gradle, you could've taken all that extra time to learn how to fucking count.

Android development, what hell am I getting myself into...

Does it annoy anyone else ... It's called the 21st century not the 20th

I count from 0

I asked my manager for a compensation adjustment today since my peers at the same tenure and experience as me were making $30,000 more than me. They said no since I haven't worked on any big projects yet and the projects that were big enough, I didn't do it by myself so they don't count.

I'm not sure if they know how software teams work... I'm pretty sure we make software for TEAMs...

So this mornings i was helping my 2.5year old daughter to count the lines on her potty training table.
me: look there are 1,2,3,4 and 5
she steps back and looks at it for a minute and says : FOUR
i was about to correct her and say no there 5 but then i thought well if your on a zero based list your technically right!!

My mornings are fun!!

Then there's that awkward moment when variable "count" doesn't work because I called it "cunt" later on.

I draw things! I bet we all draw things, but I still think it counts as nerdy.

...unless you draw UML diagrams on whiteboards. Doesn't count.

... unless you draw stick figures battling ON those UML diagrams. Counts.

... unless those stick figures battling demonstrate dependencies or demographics. Doesn't count.

... unless you put little pirate hats on them. Counts.

... unless you're contracting for a Somali counter-piracy recon project. Doesn't count.

... unless you also include dank memes. Counts.

I was today years old when I discovered the CSS property column-count.

Do you have any fucking idea how many times I’ve used CSS grid or flex box or BOTH when all I wanted was to make a layout with a set number of columns?

Why the fuck didn’t I know about this thing?

Did you know about this thing?

I had 19 views on my GitHub repo yesterday. Today...wtf!?!

And almost tripled my star count.

I have noticed on here, there is a direct correlation between the number of swear words in a post and that posts ++ count. As a programmer who doesn't swear (I know, "just give it a few years" or "YOUR NOT A REAL PROGRAMMER!!" [side note, I also don't drink coffee]), I guess my ++ counter will only ever be allocated 1 byte...

Avicii died. 😞😢
At just 28.

He got me through some tough and grueling times. I still use his tunes while coding. I'm still shocked that he left so early. But he made it count. He might've lived short but he lived large.
I'll miss him. I'm sad that he left so early. But his work will live on. I hope to become as good at programming computers as he was at using them to make music. His music was perfection. RIP.

So I ran grep to count the occurrences of the word "bitch" In a pretty large project of ours... eleven. ELEVEN.

Am I the only one to notice the coincidence that wk143 is about dating.

When I in school, we use to write 143 in place of "I love you" (letter count) within a heart with a aroow going across the heart.

"we" excludes me.

Being the only dev in a media company, I believe my coworkers looked upon me as the evil Internet reincarnated into a living person.

Most of them avoided me like a leprous, and I experienced long periods being almost isolated.

I did almost quit so many times I've lost count.

I eventually found another job, where there's lots of love, caring and we all embrace each other's skills. It feels like I'm a butterfly who finally got to break out of my miserable cocoon.

I wish I could type into my brain:"dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda bs=512 count=1337"

To delete everything of my ex gf memories...

She just wrote a message, again...

When the impostor syndrome hits me, I try to remember my achievements :
- I won a national coding contest when I was 18,
- I made and still maintain a complex app for 15 years, still actively used,
- I cannot count the number of languages I know; too many of them...

Not bragging here, btw. It's just important to actually enumerate your achievements.
If you get hit by the IS, just remember what you did 😉.

My most successful project was the uni project I had to do and it made me pass the subject hahaha, not that that would count as a real project :/

Okay this was rather depressing...
I should finally start doing something on my own

See, the problem with University students beginning programming is that they think that they're the hottest shit just because they know how to open cmd.exe. Since I'm a mentor, I have to give them pro tips while helping them through problems. I can't count the amount of times I've repeated "solve the problem on a notebook, write down how you should approach it before you begin typing your code, otherwise you'll end up spending more time debugging." They don't like to listen, cuz they're the next Zuckerberg. The following day I get a bunch of emails asking why their code doesn't work.

During resignation discussion with delivery manager at my previous organisation, he told me that I should join a start up. (I was planning to do that, and he knew somehow.)

He warned me in weird concerning way that if I join a start up, I will always be in stress. I will have high BP. And sperm count will reduce. I might never be able to produce child. And similar scary stuff.

Weird bald dude scared me for second there.

PS - I did join the start up and my BP is fine and so is my sperm count.

Client (on Tuesday): I was X features on my website before the weekend!
Me: Sure thing, I can do that. Just a reminder, my rates are $Y/hr and the changes won’t go up until I’ve been paid in full.

(Thursday morning)
Me: Here’s the changes you’ve requested on the test environment, please review. Also here’s the invoice for my work, as soon as that’s paid I can upload the changes.

Annnnnddd silence since then... I’m glad that I don’t have to count on just one client’s payment, but if you wanted before the weekend and I have it all set up, please don’t ghost me.

"we will also consider skills in other production languages, such as Haskell, Clojure, OCaml, Rust and C++"

ah, of course, the classic "production" languages. wouldn't want to be using those other "developing" or "staging" languages... 🥱

i swear, the 🤡 count increases by the hour.

6 am, searching for the reason that put the programm in a non-responding state since 4 am. Turns out I forgot to manipulate the count variable in a while loop, so unless the first object wasn't the correct one, it hot stuck.
FML, don't programm when tired

... no longer on call. Am on hour 12 of a call that has a few more hours to go and have handled 3 others today. Coworker is on hour 36 of a cal with possibly 24 more to go. And 3rd is finally eating as he missed meals all day for more calls than i can count. Who the fuck decided they hate us and want us to die these deaths????

I wrote a VBA script for a manufacturing plant. It made a quote, ran a nesting program, generated a dwg file, placed tool paths, created the work order and material part count, and finally out put to the cnc machine. It worked great it reduced a 10hr process to about 20min. So they cut my hours to less than 20 a week. I quit on "Bosses Day" to start my own company.

Having trouble sleeping, gonna count the "I don't have a social life" posts until I fall asleep.

(Might post the results in the comment, stay tuned)

I had defined a variable earlier, 'count', that I was trying to access later on in the code. Kept getting errors that the variable didn't exist.

When I looked, I had actually named it 'cunt'.

Best typo ever, gave me a good laugh as opposed to the usual annoying typos in programming.

I don't like odd +1's count :)

Got a client who Always delays payment (~2weeks) and is rude and ignores me after I deliver. As a freelancer and Student I rely on the money and on my time. So I will deliver tomorrow the next project, guy promised he will pay on monday, but I count with weeks again. I have developed a locking mechanism so I can lock the whole Software from my Cloud in case he wont pay on time. What do you guys think?

Today at work I found this in the code...

if (argCount < 2 && argCount > 3) {
// log invalid arg count
return;
}

And this passed code inspection and has been sitting there unnoticed for about a year and a half... 😂

Whether it's mixing up and with or, or forgetting a semicolon, we've all done it at some point! 😊

Fucking hell with the password fields.
Why in the fucking hell you can't tell me what's the max characters count? Why I have to deal with auto-truncated passwords after the fact?
Go eat exquisite shit, peasant punks, pussy cutters.

!rant, just wanted to share
I invited some coworkers I count as friends to a drink on friday after work..
One of them replied: I hope it's your birhday..Right?? You're not giving up on us & resigning?

Sometimes I feel like a Jedi:
My boss says: Look the app is not sending any notifications.

I just have a feeling that he deactivated notifications in the app settings.

I check that and it was deactivated

Does that count as Jedi skills ? Or just programmer intuition

Let's play "Count the operating systems in my household"! I'll start:

- Windows 10 Pro on 1tb drive in desktop
- Windows 10 Enterprise VM on desktop
- Ubuntu 18 VM on desktop
- Ubuntu WSL on desktop
- Ubuntu 18 on seconds drive in desktop
- Manjaro on Cheap laptop
- Manjaro on old, expensive laptop
- Windows 10 Pro on new expensive laptop
- Windows 10 Enterprise VM on new expensive laptop

Just realized I have no dual booters :o

I just joined a team that is tasked with developing a robot that plays soccer. It was a lot of fun until I found out that someone in the team has been developing a full framework / rtos from scratch because existing rtos solutions were "not good enough".

I tried blinking a led with it today and found more bugs than I can count...

Oh, and there are no docs...

funniest thing today: PM asking me to create a Jira subtask for EACH class / data type of the data model that I'm CURRENTLY concipating / designing in this story.

maybe I should write a Jira / Enterprise Architect integrated tool that updates Jira tasks based on my modeling actions, and count minutes until our sysadmin arrives at my desk.

jeez, that guy really has a fetish for kafkaesque bureaucracy.🤦‍♀️

Silicon Valley season 6, 2 week count down begins today... I am excited.

I am at +301. How do I know for sure my ++ count isn't frozen and I actually have a billion ++'s??

Please, oh please, tell me there's an exception for murdering people using their phone in speaker mode right in the middle of an open space.

Please ... I feel like it should count as public service and be rewarded ..

I'm trying to work here, it don't give the slightest flying fuck about the latest crap you dare to call code and how it fucked up your whole application.

How I wasted my Sunday:

A programmer I know claimed that his Nodejs app was lightweight since it only relied on 2 dependencies (express and mongodb)

So I wrote a script to recursively transverse the npm dependency tree and count the number of dependencies there actually is

Installing those 2 packages alone means your app depends on 73 pieces of software in total

In conclusion, nothing written in Node is ever lightweight

Oh yeah, it was also Easter I guess

This I call a perfectly drunk computer.

I think the number of files present were too large that the system could not count all of 'em at once. Am I even right?
Note : This is a college computer

It takes 2 hands to count the number of times everyday that I lose my mouse curse due to have too many monitors.

I setup the Google home thing to help her count with her knitting so I didnt have to

This whole corporate numbers game is killing me. I know I'm getting paid to do what I'm asked, I know. But the metrics are so one dimensional

You fixed the data of 20 tests? Doesn't count because you didn't code
You implemented a function to reduce recurrent failures in the future? Doesn't count because those already pass with time consuming workarounds
You spent half a day communicating and coordinating across teams to fix an issue? That's 1 test, this other person changed 1 line in 5 files, you're 4 tests behind

"How many cars, do you think, are in the city?"

I am here to code, not count traffic.

Learned a new word here in devRant: sleep code.

Code that's is written where you hardly can get an eye open.

Crazy shit 😵

Edit: Yeah, I count sleep code as one word (or phrase if this will satisfy you before commenting)

HR is getting so desperate they are prescheduling me interviews attached with CVs in the hopes that I will interview the candidates for a senior, even though the candidates have no experience whatsoever in embedded software programming. Workday, JIRA and Excel does not count you absolute fucknuggets.

For fuck sake, I asked management to hire new grads or juniors, at least I can get a person motivated to learn, but I swear they just don't listen.

They just are content with wasting my time lol

Took a class on computer systems, was supposed to be taught instruction sets, interrupts, pointers, basic gate level digital logic, etc. Professor spent the whole semester going line by line in the Visual Studio disassembler for some arbitrary C code, explaining in painfully dull detail, what each assembly line did. They did this for every class session, including the first, with no introduction to assembly. I lost count of how many times I fell asleep in class.

I only made enemies through coding- does that count?

God I fucking hate WordPress

Today I found out a single WooCommerce site is using 20% of database CPU (for comparison, 50 other sites use only 10% between them). Upon investigation it turns out that WooCommerce loads every single product in order to do the taxonomy count. Because the data is stored as PHP-serialised values in post meta, there's no way to do a decent "SELECT count() ... GROUP BY ...". And that code came straight from the WordPress devs, no more and no less...

When the 14th largest school district in the country sends a text message to all parents with link about their new COVID-19 policies, you'd think they'd scale up their web server count before pressing send. I guess I'll just read it tonight.

I’m going through the book automate the boring stuff and I’m working on the chapter with web scraping right.

Well I wanted to just count all of the comic links that are in the xkcd archive as a small exercise to help me get used to and better learn web scraping.

I go through hell trying to do this but after more than a few hours later I finally have done it I returned every link of ONLY the comics, so it was time to start counting them.

I implemented the counting. The total number as of today is 2279 and it my code counted 2278, and I started to lose it.

So I go through this motherfucker manually to see where my loops count and the count on the tags start to differ. I found it, whoever made it went from 403 to 405. The euphoria I felt for this incredibly small task was incredible. (Still haven’t pieced it together yet)

I found the email of the guy who I assume owns the site and I started writing an email that basically said “hey the count of your comics is off by one and you made me rethink existence trying to figure out why, you skipped number 404-”

I look at the gap between 403 and 405 Then the words “Error 404 Not Found” popped into my head. I proceeded to scream for a second and stopped writing the email and now I’m trying to come to terms with this.

TL:DR the guy who runs xkcd comics trolled me with a simple error 404 joke

Today is a stark reminder of why i want to leave here. First we couldn't do anything because production was down which blocks dev login. Then support tells me I need to work harder because my bug count keeps going up. But what is in my bugs? Feature requests, global changes, and work that isn't mine. Gee thanks :( Why does support get to comment on my performance anyway by something as dumb as a bug count? Grrr.

I will count this as a fail.

Anyone know how to fix this with <meta> tags?

I'm 19, and I was given a $1500 scholarship to take 80 hours of Office 2016 classes. It was going to disappear if no one used it. I get to stay home for the online courses, and it doesn't count against my vacation time.

I get paid for 8 hours a day while I take each class, even though I get an hour lunch and usually get out of class an hour early.

I know 99% of Office capabilities already, but this is a good stress reliever. Life is good

Am I the only one who isn't getting any mention notification and even ++ count is updating periodically?

Ugh! dR bug count is increasing day after day..

I hope devRant doesn't store ++ count as a signed 8-bit integer... Otherwise the next ++ this rant gets sets it to -128!

STOP sending me fucking videos of the bug you are experiencing. I don't get paid as much as I do to sit around and watch your stupid fucking screen captures for 37 minutes just to find 30 seconds of meaningful information to reproduce something you could have put in a paragraph and emailed to me.

Either you meet me halfway and actually understand the expected outcome and how it differs from what you experience enough to verbalize it, or I ain't fucking fixing your shit. For fucks sake, a 40 minute screen recording with no audio does NOT count as a valid reproduction.

Annoying git cli inconsistencies:

git branch --list
git stash list

Lost count of the times I have entered

git branch list

I'd love it if the number of ++ s a rant has, to only be shown after you either ++ the rant or open it. thing is, I found my self scrolling through my algo feed and looking at the ++ count before the post itself. I was judging the post by the number of ++s it has. which made me realize that I skipped a couple of posts that I didn't read and that I could've liked.
what do you guys think about this?

I got core count shamed by a client today. He has a 64 Core ryzen and I have a quad core I7.

I want to upgrade I do! But the new tech coming out this year is just too good to not wait for! Plus I waited 8 years, I can wait a few more months. Right????

250 errors in 3 applications this morning.

Then I merged two pull requests that I created yesterday and the error graph started decreasing. After 30 minutes the error count is back to 0.

Most useless premium laptop feature: touch screen.

For my new Lenovo I saved hundreds of dollars because I opted for the second best screen option. Lower resolution WQXGA (2560 x 1600) 165Hz, beacuse the 4K touch enabled fancy schmancy screen of my current Dell XPS 15 has barely been used. I keep Outlook open on it FFS, and I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have used the touch feature 😖

Is it just me?

After a year of college give everyone 2 hours to solve a programming problem in the language of their choice. Like implement a doubly linked list, or count the number of primes between two integers or something straightforward. Anyone who can’t do it gets kicked out of the major.

I’m sick of dealing with people who are 3 or 4 years into a CS degree, and can’t do 30-line programming assignments in two weeks. I might have to work with one of these clowns someday and I hope to God that my university doesn’t send them into the workforce with a degree.

For some reason the backend kept throwing errors when I tried to save a long string containing markdown. Initially I assumed I must be escaping things incorrectly but that all looked fine. Asked the backend guy to take a look.

Turned out that in order to count the number of words they were using a regex, which seems fine, unless you construct the regex out of my string and run that over the word count regex... 🤔

You know when you can't code something, and you start to rethink everything? (logic, life, the laws of physics) Then it works and your like "you're goddamn right."

Well here's my short story:

Been working on some logic for a week now. Client has been a twat about it. "It's a simple count, can't take that long." It's gotten to the point to where some co-workers were underestimating my skills. When I try the old "you do it then" trick, they laugh and walk away quickly.

But I did it.
I'M SO GOOD AT THIS SHIT!

I love to sleep, but once I stayed almost 26 hours making a front-end design as a test to enter to a company in Brasil. And here I am. Worth it.
BTW, I completed the test in 9 hours, I'm just adding more hours as everyone here hahaha. I stayed awake for 26 hours but had a normal day. Does it count?

Small things count*

You know how in Android Studio, if you put a string directly into a View's text, it warns you to use resources' strings?
Well if you put there "Hello World", it gives you no warning...

I don't know why, but it made me smile. (Way to go, JetBrains!)

*Don't thing of anything stupid

On a doomed project. Nobody seems to know what anyone was suppose to have done last week, or the plan for this week.

I've warned them more times than I can count.

I could help, but I'll just sit here with my feet up, eating a snickers and watch them panic

Just a few hours ago... The project we worked on for so long... Vanished in front of me... 6 months of pain, highly hoping for a raise.

I guess I should count myself lucky, the other person is no longer working with us. I did like her a lot, ngl.

Is it even worth staying here, I do not know. But there is no other place to work with Rust that I know of...

What is this 'cutting edge dev tech' y'all talking about? Does it count if I somehow manage to add support for MS Edge?? 🤔
Hell.. I'm stuck with COM+ & activex, so if anyone who gets to use fancy pants new techs would be so kind to ping me and let me know how it even feels to code like it's 21st century, that'd be great..

Fellow devranter detected?
I can hardly count how many times I've used profanities for variable names or placeholder text. But, unlike this landing page for the Norwegian company 1881's API they never see the light of day. At least I hope so...

Made my giggle out loud at least, 1881 is a well known and respectable (I guess) company over here. Hello world! :-D

When you look at your desk and see books that count 2000 pages or so together and you just don’t find time to read them. I hate this, I want to read them but there’s just no time...
School, procrastination, YouTube, Rick and Morty, this list is forever...

It's been a week since I last deployed the app and no bugs or errors reported by the client so far :)

What do you mean it doesn't count if the client isn't using the app? Ofc it does, fuck you >:(

when I was an undercover informing on child traffickers I was also posing as a street guy, and didn't sleep for 72 hours because some local drug dealers made me think they were waiting for me to conk out so they could rob/beat/kill me.

Does this count ?

I've noticed I keep getting ++, but my ++ count hasn't changed all morning.

At first thought that some deleted their account or something, but it's been like that despite getting around 20-30++

I've never liked Quora, but today I decided to sign up because I had an interesting question to ask, about my solution for an angular problem and why it could not be applicable.
Five minutes later 6 people followed my post.
Ten minutes later my question disappeared and nobody knows where the hell it went. WTF? My question count passed from 1 to 0, it disappeared from my profile and from the whole website. No notifies, no emails about it. What the hell happened?

Last night i had to write sms center for a panel for my client
I was awake till 5 am 😧 why you ask ?
They had a restful api and also a webservice but neither was complete 😑
And the documents of it was f*#$& worst
They had UserName as parameter but the actual one was userName 😑😐 thats not just it they had more
Also they missed some parameters for some functions 😑
They had parameters for Count and instead of int they said its a Bool and on the description it said 1-100
Im so frustrated

Me: *Showing the "You ! Count" image from devRant to a friend*
Friend: Haha! Nice one!
Me: You should install devRant, the image is from there
Friend: What is devRant?
Me: It's like Twitter, but only for programmers
Friend: No thanks, I don't like Twitter

I have failed you, master!

Google translate is very(very) good at translating Chinese text....but it will fuck up translating despacito(if you don't know that song count yourself lucky...it flipping sucks but i used it for comic relief)

Wth Google how?

Guess Skynet is not a reality.
Chi-Net is.

Badum tsssss

Decided to start using my smart watch again, mainly to track steps and pulse.

It has this weird "body battery" measurement, supposedly it shows how much energy you have left out of 100.

My problem is that I'm apparently in a sleep like state when I'm coding (low pulse, no movement and low breath count), so it charges my "body battery"... But I'm actually working...
Thus the watch is like: "no way you need to sleep now, you slept all day", when I head for bed...
Fuck me.

My first dev project outside of school work was an android application I made for my then-girlfriend to track time between contractions and count kicks during her pregnancy. It was horrifically ugly but it was my first android app and it worked!

There was this guy on LinkedIn who has done many projects on Ruby on Rails

I asked him the exact count of projects.

He said it's tough to keep track.

The cubicle next to me keeps count of how many "WTF"s I say each day. It's pretty close to the number of "Fuck You"s (good or bad).

Great, just in the week when I’m on holiday, they  decided to do a coffee mug contest on devRant, so I wasn’t able to show mine. Well, I think this one deserves it’s place amongst the other beauties. It’s completely impractical to drink from, but it can count as a statement ;)

Guys, a company's HR mailed me for a position that requires strong experience of ">3 years in Python with C or C++".

Does it mean Python and C/C++?
Or do they need someone who is using C/C++ to write Python?

I have some experience with adding Python support to C++ code. Does it count? 😁

I fix antique code for a living and regularly come across code like this, and this is actually the good stuff!

Worst usecase for a goto statement? What do you think?

  int sDDIO::recvCount(int bitNumber){

  if (bitNumber < 0 || bitNumber > 15) return 0;   //ValidatebitNumber which has to be 0-15

  //Send count request

  if (!(send(String::Format(L"#{0:X2}{1}\r", id, bitNumber)) && flushTx())){

bad:   //Return 0 if something went wrong

  return 0;

}

  String^ s = recv(L"\r");   //Receive request data

  if (s->Length != 9) goto bad;   //Validate lenght

s = s->Substring(3, 5);   //Take only relevant bits

 

  int value;   //Try to parse value and send to bad if fails

  bool result = Int32::TryParse(s, value);

  if (!result) goto bad;

 

  int count = value - _lastCount[bitNumber];   //Maximumpossible count on Moxa is 65535.

  if (count < 0) count += 65536;   //If the limit reached, the counter resets to 0

_lastCount[bitNumber] = value;   //This avoids loosing count if the 1st request was

  //made at 65530 and the 2nd request was made at 5

  return count;

}

I have upvoted good questions, helpful comments and useful answers on SO for a long time now, although I don’t have enough reputation (15 needed to count upvotes).
Once I reach this 15 points get ready for a big rain of upvotes 😁

A few years ago I had a Minecraft server and wanted to create my own plugins for it. I failed, but never stopped trying.

Did an internship at a software development company and got an Arduino as a gift; I was hooked - controlling stuff and seeing that stuff happens because of my code? Count me in!

Took classes in school that teach me coding and databases. I also taught myself a bit of C#, Java, C++ and PHP.

5 years and 3 internships later, I'm finally starting my paid training for the job as a programmer next year at the company that gave me the Arduino.

Gaming is what got me into coding, and I couldn't be happier. :)

I wrote some simple pen test scripts that automatically get executed on every ip in my fail2ban log.

Ip count: 2500+ in a few days. Probably victims of botnet. Some have mysql, postgres, smb open and many of them support user/pass auth on their ssh.

The scripts were a lot of fun to write but I don't expect much results.

What container data structures do all of you actually use?

For me, I'd say: dynamically sized array, hashtable, and hash set. (And string if you count that.)

In the past 8 months, I've used another container type maybe once?

Meanwhile, I remember in school, we had all these classes on all these fancy data structures, I havent seen most of them since.

I've tried languages
In count three dozen
But there's only one that doesn't
Stack up against the rest
Of course the one I think is best
It makes me jump and smile with glee
It is in fact
PHP

I love coding. I enjoy the clickety-click of my keyboard and the joy of creating code that does something, to help the world be a better place. So why does upper management feel the need to bog me down in process paperwork, tickets to count my widgets, and endless endless emails and spreadsheets to prove that I have work to do. What are the time savings, priorities, cost avoidance... Blah blah blah... #IdRatherBeCoding :)

Wordpress.....

God, why..

Okay, so my company has deep roots with wordpress websites, which is, well fine, and at some point they needed portal that would do something but I was bussy doing other project for our child company, so our frontend slapped together "portal" in wordpress. So I dont even know if I understand that properly whats going on, but today buddy came with help request to wordpress.

I had to look through wordpress database and was like.... FML hard.

Okay, fuck it, let's try to make it work. So, I needed to get random category (using get_terms), check it's ->count and if its greater than X show it on page. I came to done halfway, the random part wasn't working.

Okay, made it work after initial struggle with "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! AND THAT?? AND THAT?!?!??! ;-;" and now comes the kicker. It has ACF installed and it has additional category in ACF. And it should check count of posts within the category that have certain ACF value.

After awhile I just said "this shouldn't be done on wordpress, no idea how to make it work".

What I seen is like... it hurts me on so many levels... My head wants to explode...

Can I get back to writing normal code now? ;-; Im fed up patching logic in frontend (I dont even know if that's `the wordpress way` but that's what they did)

Just spent 4 hours working on a somewhat complex restructuring of my current project that, when boiled down totals about 50 new or modified lines.

While I realize that line count != productivity, all the testing and reworking over that period has me feeling like there should be more to show for it.

But then, there's the fact that it's working properly as it's supposed to now, so I guess it's a win in the end.

Good Morning Devs. Funny thing... Why was I dreaming about subnetting 😂. I literally remember in the dream about telling someone to count zeros. I woke up like 🤔🤔. Zeros...zeros. Was I just explaining to someone how to figure the total IP addresses and Hosts....🤭🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Just finish my last Programming 1 class for the semester! I lost count of the amount of times I learned something throughout the course that blew my mind. I’m enjoying learning how to program way too much. On to programming 2!

Does DevRant count as social media? I don't think I'm allowed to post to social media while I'm at work. *Asks DevRant anyways*

Does smoking count?

... I get stressed! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hahaha ahah ahaha ahha haha ha :') does saying that its a solo project and throwing me into a team of incompetent researchers count? Does specifying a python-ish stack and giving me c++ and fortran code count? Does not fucking paying me until i threatened to leave the job and delete everything i wrote for them count? Does speaking to 9billion people to get the same job as fulltime because i spent 8 hours working for them anyway count?

When you give your self a mini heart attack by knocking over an empty water cup while coding.

I can't count how many times I have done this over the years.

today when I was asked to fix some code I couldn't help but count if those variables where used more times :D

I think I would qualify as the weirdest co worker. Does that count?

SWAG - Scientific Wild Ass Guess

Lost count of the no of times I have been asked for SWAGs by EOD.

I love pipes in R. Really wish more mainstream languages would adopt that *looking at you python, nodejs-tc39, rust, cpp*

Just something about doing

data %>% group_by(age) %>% summarize ( count= n() ) %>% print

As oppose to

print(summarize (group_by(data, age), count=n()) )

at the beach...

...well I tried... 2 x 15 mins does count right...

Safari is slowly becoming the new Internet Explorer.

I'm loosing count over how many javascript workarounds i need to make for that abomination.

I embrace the removal of the audio jack on smartphones, and I like listening to music via my Bluetooth headset.

Yet why, for fuck's sake, is a double tap on the headset's play button mapped to Call Redial?

I have lost count how often I called someone by mistake. How is such on action a meaningful default? What were they thinking, were they thinking at all?

Everytime I turn on the goddamn headset, I take extra care to ensure that I don't doubletap yet it still often happens by mistake.

I rarely call people anyways on my smartphone anyways.

LinkedIn sends me notif about an InMail. I open it via the notif. I close the app. The notif count badge is still on the app icon. I open the app again. Go back to the message. Close the app. Now the badge is gone.

Good going LinkedIn 👌

I was recently asked to do tech support for an event being designed by webdesign and business students

All they asked me to do was generate a qr-code to their site. -_- took 10 seconds on a website. I even matched their color theme

Yet their rsvp system is to email an event account and they count the number of emails. Why wasn't I asked if I could set up a better system rather than a simple qr. I just learned about this and it's too close to the event to setup a better system and pitch it to them

I made my own blog dedicated to personal rants on ZeroNet and count already 34 people sharing it. That's insane. I guess people like people ranting and that's what @trogus and @dfox figured before everyone ;)

Hear me out. Ive been trying to fix this flutter bug for... I lost the count of how many days or weeks it was, maybe even months. I now got to the point of having borderline mental breakdown. I am crying because i cant solve this bug and there is no one to help me. I am on my own. All by myself. And im crying.

Heh, I'm curious... Before you ++ someone, do you glance at how many ++s does the person already have? Does this influence you choice whether to ++ or not?

And how about comments? Does ++s count affect whether/how you coment on one's rant/comment?

I've caught myself clicking ++ only bcz I saw the uswr already had >10k. I wonder why is that :)

edit: I'm not proud of it

Today I actually used a data structure other then List or Map for a real problem!!!

This is like a once in a year, several years thing? (Technical interviews don't count)

I imagine if every girl was to ask for my S.O point count before dating me then I would die single...

Trying and failing repeatedly to code up a gaussian blur function in delphi for a university computer graphics module assignment.

Over 5 days I re-create the code so many times I lost count. I think I managed to sneak 9 hrs of sleep in total for that week.

Good times...

I should start a timer to count the hours of my life wasted waiting for gradle to build

Hey devs!!

I just can't stop myself from sharing this.

Its been two years now ... my junior is working. and now she is handling standalone WP projects.. but somehow her task got stucked so I was asked to help her.

So I just said check the count of variables and she messaged me with code .. Ma'am this isn't working .. Haha.. I mean come on she better can google out atleast for syntax :(

<?php if(count($content2 == 3) && count($interestt2 == 3))
{
print_r($content2);
print_r($interestt2);
}else{
echo "not checked";
}
?>

Aight I’m new to this thing but it’s cool. I’m good with basically nothing but python and pygame. I know HTML and CSS but that doesn’t even count. Welp if someone want to work on something with me to motivate me to learn something be my guest I need help

Does soft-bricking my PC with broken MBRs count?

Otherwise, to stay fit I like to walk/hike. Hate any kind of exercise, unfortunately, but found a way to stay relatively fit by just going walking regularly

Have some downtime today, so since I lucked out and found some old backups (from before I used Git) of a project I was planning on revisiting, I decided to fire it up and see what I can do to get that going again.

And discovering just how much my coding style has changed since then...

[Code is in PHP, for reference]

* Virtually no documentation (whereas my current style is near-obsessive with PHPdoc blocks)
* Where comments exist, they only use // and are a full tab after the end of the line
* All assignment operators are dutifully aligned on tabs
* Have to update the entire codebase because it relies on deprecated `mysql_*` calls
* Have to flip all of the quotes throughout the codebase because I used double-quotes as my primary at the time instead of single quotes.
* Also relied on magic quotes for injecting variable content into strings
* Associative array practices varied; sometimes the names are encased in double quotes, but I just hit a block where it's all leaving it to the compiler to interpret unquoted string literals

And perhaps the most egregious so far...

* Any time we get database results back the process for cycling through them is to do `$count = mysql_num_rows($result);` (or $count2, etc.), then do a `for ($i = 0; $i < $count; $i++)` (again, or $j, $k, etc.), instead of just a simple `while ($data = $result->fetch_assoc())`

I'm gonna be job shadowing some programmers to see what it's like first hand in the field soon! Its my senior year and it'll count as a field trip for my school so I won't get counted absent!!

Fuck you Firefox and your shitty debugger.

Why do you try to be so different, to the point where you make the error messages obscure?

Google the error message I get in the Chrome debugger - hundreds of results.

Google the error message I get in the Firefox debugger - I can count the results with my fingers.

Just use the same error messages god damn it.

P.S: Also, why is there no fucking option to open an image in a new tab, like in Chrome?

I sometimes forget windows is absolute shit. Then I get to work with one and remember. Specially since microshit has actually banned my email (because I didn't give it my mew phone number it's sulking like a creepy stalker) and so I can't even properly log the fuck in into a machine I was using a few years back. 😐

If someone makes a windows rip off that could properly deal with .exe files, count me a customer. (in future tho. I haven't got money for shit rn)

It's small but still tangible.
I really like that username and password both have the same character count.

Since I have seen a number of people ranting about their old rants and the new +1 threshold, I'm posting this to clarify.

In the rules you can see that a post counts towards a certain threshold if the rant was posted after the threshold became active. If the threshold was increased after you posted your rant, the previous threshold will still count for that rant.

Hope this helps.

I have an internship at some research company. My point is making face recognition apps with prog lang I know. This place is awesome. Well, compsci it's not my background, but I met many people. And they are great at math ....
.....

... Like they do 29 gray-scale images as a vector for PCA algorithm with size 64x64 pixel and COUNT A COVARIANCE MATRIXES WITHOUT TOUCHING ANY CALCULATOR OR PEN AND PAPER AND GET THE RIGHT NUMBER!

Man, this is insane. I don't even know 64x64. I love compsci

I can count the number of people who know the difference between pod install and pod update on one hand.

I'm discovering all I can configure with Arch... just figured to tell you, since if I don't do it doesn't count, right?...

I was talking to a friend, and they were arguing that HTML was in fact a programming language. Their main argument was that you needed HTML to make a website.

I told them you could use something like React, and they said it doesn't count since you're still writing was is basically HTML

As a result, I will be writing an entire and actually decent webapp in nothing but vanilla JavaScript to prove him wrong. Just a <head> section and a body that loads a JavaScript file

Wish me luck

Chrome likes to count teleporting goats, Android tests if the user is a monkey. I like to put "void fish(object look)" in my code and throw the fish where ever I wanna test something.

What are some interesting functions you've added to your code? Has another dev caught your function yet? (mine hasn't been caught yet, yay!)

I want you to make that dream become a reality, because if you don't, you will be working for somebody else to make their dreams become a reality.

Listen to me, if it was easy, everybody would do it. There are people right now who are working who don't want to work. There are people who hate their jobs, but they keep getting up to do it.

I'm here to tell you, number one, that most of you say you wanna be successful but you don't want it bad, you just kinda want it. You don't want it badder than you wanna party. You don't want it as much as you wanna be cool.

So what I'm telling you is, when you want something bad you can't count the cost. Because if you count the cost and you see how much it costs. You might quit, you might give up. So you gotta go in knowing that I don't count the cost.

You just do whatever it takes, to get whatever you want! Boom! 👊 😎 👍

The number of times that my commit message is :
"I had forgotten how to count", is astonishing.

IT in the social sector. For some, it is absolutely new that reading error messages and trying to follow them actually helps.

Some are absolutely amazed that the error message says exactly what you should do.

I can't count how often I said "read the message" and got an "oh, okay then..." back.

There are only 15 devrant++ users :(

I remember times where the list contained so many people that it took very long to count the number of devrant++ users

I wrote a bot. Does it count as making a new friend from coding?
It writes me bunch of interesting news everyday, maybe it will get a name and start speaking the news stories so I don’t have to read them.

Am I the only one that keeps mistyping & mispronouncing Magneto when I mean Magento?

Can't count how many times I've scratched my head because I got search results pointing at Sabayon Linux's wiki when enquiring about it...

It's funny when you can count on finding pretty much everyone you know from the dormitories at the closest bar in the evening because it's like hell inside... Sun slo... I mean, rapidly cooking everything and everyone...

Just curious with you all, what do you like to do besides coding but still count as productive?

Me, I make Music and Designs in my free time, even joined a music group at campus

Quick question to all the other devs. I am learning libgdx(the multiplatform thing) to make an Android app. Would that count as Android experience for future jobs? Or game development? What skills am I building for a resume?

This is a praise not a rant.

Anyone else feel like sometimes they owe their successes to Stack Overflow? Reflecting back over my decade as a professional developer, I couldn't count the number of deadlines I would have missed.

To renew a VPN trial (hide.me if I recall correctly), you're taken to a countdown till you're able to click the renew button.
var count = 0;

One of my colleague ask me to review other team's code. I saw the code. It's terrible. Importing data from text file based on line break count and 52 'if else's conditions in one function and overall 173 'if else' conditions in one controller class. Fuck after seeing that code, I realize people in my project is more better than others. Thank God.

There are two typed of computer users; ones that use capslock to capitalize the first letter in their words and the ones that uses shift. I don't count people that doesn't capitalize properly humans so I excluded them.

Why the fuck is midnight 00:00 and midday 12:00? Every other hour is the same for Am and Pm in 12 hour time. I can’t find any explanation other than all of humanity being unable to count.

All date/time libraries must encounter this bullshit. There are so many similar levels of bullshit with everything related to time handling. Time zones, stamp formats, minimum intervals overflows are all so fucked.

Stack overflow is full of useless assholes, like I asked a specific question about a problem I am having that is similar to another problem that exists but it is not the same at all in terms of how to fix and instead of helping I’ve got 2 downvotes on it and a comment linking me to a completely unrelated stylistic based question based on something I SAID I HAD ALREADY TRIED CHANGING IN MY QUESTION!!! Here’s my question btw in case anyone can help here before I smash up my laptop 😑:
I have a piece of code in which I am trying to read in words which have been categorised using a number and then placed in a text file in the following format "word-number-" with a new line for each word. However, despite not mixing cin>> and getline and having tried a number of methods I still cannot get it working.
So far I have attempted using a cin.ignore() call to clear any '\n' char's from the buffer, as well as checking if the file is opening in the first place (it is), and using the >> operator instead throughout my code however I could not get that working either. When I place the get line call inside the condition of the while loop, the while loop doesn't run, however when I make the while loop condition a .eof() call it will run once however when I try to print the text that has been read from the getline call it just prints a blank line.
if(file.is_open()){
while(!file.eof()){
getline(file, text, '-');
count++;
cout<<count<<endl;
cout<<text<<endl;
if(count%2 == 1){
wordBuff = text;
}else if(count%2 == 0){
if(stoi(text) == wordClass){
wordList.push_back(wordBuff);
}
}
}
file.close();
}
While I recognise there are a lot of other questions on this out there I cannot seem to get any of their solutions to work and the vast number being related to people mixing the >> operator and getline doesn't help, so any tips or solutions will be of great help

I guess I need a word count filter.. who would spend their monthly "token" on something like that

Any VB.Net developers found a job as C# dev.
Do you count your experience for .net as a whole? I feel if you know .net it's not a major difference between vb.net and c# it's just the syntax difference but I'm hesitant to apply for C# jobs based on my experience in vb.net. Any one with switch experience?

It reaaaally annoys me when my business logic is sound but the data is corrupted.

For example, find duplicates in a HashMap<String>.. but I didn't take into account the input could contain a space either before or after.. so I end up wondering: if a HashMap only contains unique keys, how come the count of items in the map is the same as the count of the input keys?! Well.. spaces were the culprit.

"12345" != "12345 ".. and therefore the Map sees it as two distinct keys..

What an annoying bug.

Lesson learned: 1) Sanitize input first and never trust it. 2) Never make assumptions

For completely nonsensical projects I propose a new metric. Instead of counting how much code is covered with tests, I propose to count how many tests are actually testing the code. They really write more tests than code nowadays

Posted on Twitter
A thread of Rittenhouse facts
I learned watching trial

So many spread lies
I couldn’t keep my silence
RIP follower count

When I wrote count++ in Python and got syntax error. Darn!!! I just applied Java and C syntax again!

You know you're tired when you're setting up unit tests and you make more mistakes in setting up the tests than in the actual code.

5 issues resolved for project on bitbucket, now I’ve just added 5 more issues/enhancements! Back to where I started! Tempted to write them on paper so my issue count stays low :-/

Depends on the definition "without break".

Does taking a walk count as a break if I'm thinking about work during it?
Does taking a shower?
Would it be considered continuously working if I'm sleeping for a few hours every few days, but otherwise work even while eating and pooping?

So I could say I range from ~48h hours on the strictest mode to multiple weeks on the permissive one. I wouldn't recommend any of these.

Working 8 hours a day and then having 8 more hours to do what i want (i dont count sleeping for 8 hours since i do nothing then), IS NOT ENOUGH FUCKING TIME. SELLING MY SOUL TO the devil for 8 hours a day, every day, 1/3 of my life FOREVER? This cant be fucking it. This cannot be LIFE. Life is MUCH MORE than this. Fuck off. Im so fucking pissed off

Here is a weird fact I have been thinking about this evening:

Helio X20 was the only mainstream ARM processor that had 10 CPU cores. It was first introduced in 2015, however no more ARM processors with high core count were used since then..

Nowadays smartphone processors have `8` cores max 🤔🧐

I guess 8 cores the reasonable limit for smartphones. Must have something to do with cost-to-performance factor

For those of you .Net people out there (".Net sucks" Stallman fellators need not apply), what would a few practice .net core web apis and MVC projects cost to host on Azure? They wouldn't be touched except by me and any people who want to see my portfolio projects directly, so I think that doesn't count as time for cost, but I'll be honest and say I don't entirely get their pricing.

Besides alt coins, has anyone of you worked on a blockchain project which has actually delivered any value? I mean, someone besides the investors must have bought the idea for it to count.

When you are in a party and your boss messages

Boss - are you online, the servers are failing.
Me - i am online.
Boss - your phone doesn't count. Get to a computer.

I am like WHAAAATTTT?.

Why does the Fat Free Frameworks (F3) $db->exec() method have its array count from 1 and not 0.

Instead of doing:
[$param1, $param2]

You have to do:
[ 1=> $param1, 2=> $param2]

WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA?

This is something that PHP PDO gets right, AND I FUCKING HATE PDO!!!

I was preparing a resume for an internship,I just realized i have nothing to mention in extra curricular activities.Apart from coding i only watch football and tv series and that doesn't count.

Just went over some of my old horrible code from before i started studying. I litterally went from 104 lines of if/else statements to about 15 lines with loops. Then down to 2 lines with lambdas...

I saved 102 lines of actual code. And the runtime! I had a loop count to 10000 with no body! It helps to study apparently :/

Rant: that moment when you don't want to drop one of your devs because he's been on that team since day one but HE DOESNT DO SHIT FOR THE TEAM!!!!!! I can count on one hand how many projects have been on time from this guy. RANT OVER.

Does the #trashtag challenge count if I cleanup some of my code? 🤔

+7yrs experienced dev start at the company. I need to onboard this person.

Gave 2 simple bugs to solve, it couldn't solve either. Asked so many questions that I had to stop, solve the bugs myself and give the solution. Which raises the flag that this experience might be a lie.

This person doesn't really listen, so I don't want to tutor. Even though I can already feel that my manager will say that part of the responsibilities of being a senior as I'd like to be, is to tutor newcommers (I can count on my fingers the amount of seniors who actually tutor, but I know this is not an excuse).

Guess I will feel forever frustrated that I cannot get the damn title.

Don't automatically count yourself out of positions because you haven't done them before, you can learn and grow.

I'm in the best job that I've ever had, but didn't meet all the criteria the vacancy had as "requirements". I had some experience in some of the areas that they were looking for, none in others, but they thought I was the right person for the job. I'll always be grateful for that.

At the same time, you need to be realistic, if you've never even heard of half the things on a job vacancy then it's probably not for you.

How coding has impacted my life?

Lol, mann I don't think normal anymore. Everything is logical and conditional statements to me now. If this, do that! Else, do this. I've been making people think 2x about their dumb questions to fix their broken phones, computer screens and yes, the popular one.."can you hack facebook?". I can't even do a simple renaming or count without start with a 0. Normal people start like 1, 2, 3, 4.... and I'm like 0, 1, 2, 3. Bruh, I'd rather code than hang out which I still do but less now..smh

Me (to peer): I counted all of the items in the list, and if the list count is zero, we branch to this logic.

Peer: I don't like that, and reject your PR. You should get the list of items, and check to see if the list is empty.

- How is that fucking different than what I did?

- This is not a performance issue, we're talking less than 20 milliseconds on a command run three times a day by developers, not customers.

Does it count as a learning experience if I have still not yet fully learned it? Then it's estimating tasks.

Fix this bug where the modal is rendered underneath the message-count-badge on your profile? Heh should be easy, 10 mins to set a higher z-index.

Final cost: two weeks, where I needed two status meetings and drawing on the whiteboard to explain why this happens and why it needs a major restructuring.

So yesterday evening when going to bed I wanted to sleep asap.
Therefore I used a 'tactic' called count to ten and then start over again. This is supposed to be relaxing so you stop thinking about other things an you get sleepy faster.
It usually works...

...But then my brain decided to write a program for said procedure in my mind. I actually started thinking:

int count=0;

While ( ! isAsleep() ){

think(count);
count++;

If( count == 10 ){
count = 0;
}
}

It didn't really help me falling asleep...