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Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong44 -
"IoT is awesome~!"
"What things about it do you love?"
"Hm, hold on a second. Oh dear."
"Something wrong?"
"Just a sec. My Fridge is getting DDoS'd"15 -
Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service: What is wrong with it?
Caller: Mouse is jammed.
Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don’t have a mouse.
Caller: Mmmmm? Oh really? I will send a picture….
13 -
my mother brought me a external hard drive.. she asked me can i check what is wrong with it.. i opened it up and i just began to laugh
9 -
This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.
What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!
45 -
I genuinely am lost for words on this one.
I just asked a user to press the wifi button on their laptop so i can check their wired connection was up and running okay.
They couldn’t find the blue ‘Fn’ or ‘aerial’ symbol that i described, so sent me this picture to see if they were pressing the right button.
Like....
What?? No!
What is wrong with you?? Seriously???
*cries*
Working on a helpdesk is destroying my soul!!
7 -
Css is most definitely a woman who's mad at you but won't tell you why.
"What's wrong? what did I do? "
"Nothing..."8 -
So I was asked to help migrate an application to AWS, asked for the codebase. Received a GitHub link in my mail (Usually is a zip file). Satisfied I open the link to see a repo with a hundred zip files time-stamped with version numbers
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?8 -
Caller : Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service : What is wrong with it?
Caller : Mouse is jammed..
Customer Service : Mouse......???? Printers don't have a mouse you fool….!
Caller : Mmmmm…??..
Oh really ?...
I will send a picture, see U idiot!😡
😂😂😜😜
9 -
Sister: "Can you fix my computer?"
Me: "What's wrong?"
S: *explains the issue
Me: *types that into Google and shows her the search results
S: *gives me the look
M: "This is seriously what I do to fix a lot of my problems 🧚"18 -
When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...
Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"
Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩4 -
So, I'm programming a control system for a prototype aerospace vehicle. You know, the stuff that needs to work to prevent falling out of the sky.
Anyway, test day was today (was -- not anymore). Wiring all the electronics, everything is actuating and works well. Except for one part, a little thruster for stability.
I spent hours - literally, fucking hours - trying to fix the problem. Wrong address? Wrong syntax? I had absolutely no clue what was wrong. Queue the hardware guy, $stupid:
$stupid: "How have you not got it working yet?!"
$me: "I don't know, everything I'm trying isn't working. I've spent hours digging through this code and nothing is fucking working."
$stupid: "Well have you set it up for the new thruster?"
$me: "What...What new thruster?"
$stupid: "Oh, the one we installed this morning, did noone tell you?"
WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?! COMMUNICATION 101!6 -
PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test
*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.11 -
<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**8 -
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
8 FUCKING GB GONE FOR ANDROID STUDIO! THAT IS HALF THE RAM I HAVE FOR THIS LAPTOP!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE T_T
48 -
Who the fuck on earth named it Chef. You idiots, if I google Chef I get people wearing aprons on my browser. And what the fuck is cookbooks, cookbooks for chef returns 60 ways of making chicken. Who on earth has such naming convention for IT DevOps. Recipe, cookbooks, knife. Dafuq is wrong.10
-
I used to be very mischievous during the starting days of my IT studies..
I remember once i rotated the screen of the classroom laptop using 'CTRL + ALT + Down arrow' before lecture.. Teacher couldn't figure out what is wrong with the laptop..
Lecture cancelled !7 -
"So what do you do?"
"I am a software engineer"
3 most frequent conversation routes
1. "I have some great app ideas maybe you could help me..."
2. "My computer/phone crashes frequently, what is wrong with it?..."
3. "so how many software/games/mobile apps have you developed?..."5 -
"The CRM has this address wrong" - Client
"What do you mean? Where?" - Me
"When I start typing the business name it autofills wrong" - Client
"You mean Chrome is auto-completing from a previous typo you entered, and you're blaming the software? That'll be $100 for Chrome training." - Me -
People sending text documents in .doc format... what is fucking wrong with you?! Word has even had a build in .pdf converter for decades!?15
-
Her: What are you doing over there?
Me: I'm working on cryptographic hash functions
Her: is that really homework?
Me: yes, come look with your two eyes.
Her: ...
Me: crazy stuff, no?
Her: I imagine computer science is really just a lot of boxes and arrows.
Me: *flashback to UML, ERD diagrams, and logic diagrams*
Me: you are not wrong.
8 -
*sees rants about pressing ctrl+s too many times/in the wrong window*
*works in Intellij*
Me: What is a "ctrl+s"...?14 -
when you have to do this because the code looks correct but you're not sure what the heck is wrong because it doesn't make sense
12 -
I'M AN IDIOT.
I accidentally typed the wrong command when I was compiling my C++ code with GCC, and guess what?
My .cpp file is gone. The .exe is still there, but that's useless to me right now.
It wasn't an important code, just something I recently started on, but I can't believe I did something so ignorant.
18 -
Why the hell do people make websites with VALID SSL certs redirect BACK TO HTTP? What the fuck is wrong with them?!5
-
Matched with a girl on Tinder who studies Artificial Intelligence.
Me: "I see you study AI, how cool! Is it hard?"
She hasn't texted back for 3 days
What did I do wrong?34 -
Dev: Hey, I need you to see something.
Client: ok
Dev: this is the models of those reports you need
Client: ok, wait, what is that number? This is wrong, we can't...
Dev: hey, calm down, this is not the production, it's just fake database!
Client: ah, ok.
(5 minutes of explantion)
Dev: so, what do you think?
Client: just one point, that data is very very wrong, we need to change this ASAP!7 -
Do you really expect that I can debug in a few minutes, a part of the software that I didn't build and have never seen before and have no knowledge of the external, third-party web service that code is reaching out to?
Dude, flippin' chill, take a walk, grab a drink, pop some popcorn and give me some time to figure out what the hell this code is doing so I can properly debug it!
You know what it turned out to be? Wrong test data used for the 3rd party service. So in essence... Nothing was wrong! Frickity frack!2 -
How do you call it when production breaks and a programmer has find out what went wrong/fix it as soon as possible while the client is breathing down their neck?
He's going through a rough patch.12 -
Looking at the number of JavaScript frameworks that are popping up these days..
a day will come, when human race will get extinct and only JS frameworks will survive like cockroaches..!!3 -
What I would define as a critical bug:
- System doesn't respond
- Functionality is broken
- Client data is all wrong
What QA defines as a critical bug:
- Typo on this page in the QA environment2 -
Just looking at code, my colleague ("Senior Java Developer"), wrote...
if (process == "null") {...}
As you can guess, process is a String.
I just don't know what I can tell him. It's just so wrong, in every possible way...10 -
"Hello App developer.
We're looking for android app developer who can develop simple app for individual political campaign vote for me.
The idea is developing simple Political part app with interactive Geolocation to see who is member and where they’re located. Members should sign with social media (facebook, google plus, twitter and instagram)"
What could possibly go wrong with that?!25 -
First tor relay is up and running. Works well, all good.
Want a faster one as well (nearly 1gbs) and trying to set it up but the control port won't get its fucking ass up. No clue what's going wrong :/
Probably missing something but idk what.
Grrrrrr.15 -
I think having the wrong job can really bring down the quality of life.
My friend has to drive two hours each way to get to and from work. That's four hours wasted commuting.. and his job is service desk agent.
What are the consequences, you ask? He never has a spare second to talk to me, he's quickly developing gray hairs and he has no time awareness.
Having the wrong job is unhealthy and results in a cascade of bad side effects.. When most of your day involves work-related things, that's just wrong. There is no Yin-Yang there. I know because my work life is somewhat balanced.12 -
Anyone ever entered a password and it keeps saying wrong password, so you decide to reset the fucking password and now the problem is ....the systems/website tells you that you can't reset the password to your current password or a password you are already using... like okay what the fuck!!!!!.....3
-
Qa: do you think this looks like the provided designs?
Me: yes I do...?
Qa: well it doesn't, please check
Me: well I hate playing find the difference, how about you fucking tell me what exactly is wrong?5 -
A : "what the funk is wrong with git ! why there are conflict!!"
Y: "let me see, hmm .. just press ctrl + disc.."
A : "what are you doing ?"
Y : "discard! they are gone. now you can try again in different branch"
A : "I didn't commit !! this my work of two weeks!!!"
Y : " ..... "
Y : *sneak away*7 -
What if I've been wrong all the time?
What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?
What if I'm annoying you everyone?
What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?
*social anxiety intensifies*4 -
I was sleeping next to my wife and suddenly I raised my hand and shouted "gaaaa", when she asked what is wrong, I replied
"Kubernetes is misbehaving"
without waking up4 -
diploma || certificate == "I am somehow warranted to write shit and get away with it"
## WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD?!!!!14 -
Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*
I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...7 -
That feeling when you have been finding what is wrong for hours just to find that your problem is also an unresolved issue on github
-
Why would you submit a pull request with the addition of such a comment and expect me to approve? What the hell is wrong with you?
-
"Hi, our client is looking for a dot net developer, and we think you'll be a good fit."
- you got the wrong person i believe.
"you list laravel & phalcon.. Those are .net?"
I'm not sure what to say here, a recruiter whom doesn't see my employed tag & doesn't know how to Google..
Laravel & phalcon is .net.. Aaallrighty then.6 -
"Git is hugely over complicated and dangerous - what on earth is wrong with Subversion?"
"Ah. Allow me to sit you down - this could take a while..."15 -
Kinda tired of people telling me that I'm "wrong" for using PHP. There's nothing inherently wrong with PHP. Any language is only as good as the developer using it, and so long as you're comfortable using it and it does what you need it to do, there's no shame in using ANY programming language. Don't let the these cocky "bro"grammers tell you how to do your job.15
-
CS Exam :
What is 3/2?
My answer : 1.5
Result : Wrong
Correct Answer : 1
Maths Exam :
What is 3/2?
My answer : 1
Result : Wrong
Correct Answer : 1.5
#Frustated (-_-)4 -
"Shouldn't be a problem. I can get <insert new feature here> implemented by <insert wildly optimistic time>. "
What is wrong with me?! Why do I keep doing this!?2 -
I set the fucking alarm at 06.40. It's now 10.56 and I just woke up. What the HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!26
-
What is the worst production mistake you made?
Mine is restarting one of the main servers (wrong terminal window).31 -
Today is the first time my pc fully crashed. I keep always everything updated and never had a problem. I didn't know what went wrong. After I opened my pc up I found out that a mouse family was living in my pc. Maybe I should clean the hardware more8
-
Me currently listing to the dev team what the fuck is going wrong with their website after testing it
1 -
I unpinned the Internet Explorer icon from the taskbar of my girlfriend's computer and told her the Internet Explorer is crap. Then she answered: "Hey, I usually use Firefox. I use Internet Explorer only when I have to open attachments from emails.". I was like: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?3
-
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU APPLE?! THATS A SIXTH OF MY MOBILE DATA! WHERE IS THIS MUCH USAGE COMING FROM?????
8 -
I have difficulties to process why some of my developer colleagues have such difficulties reading and processing error messages.
It says what is wrong RIGHT THERE MAN!3 -
What the hell is wrong with you guys taking screenshots with your goddamn phone?! Ever heard of that small magical programm called "snipping tool"? It's like fucking screenshot porn! And yes, there is a screenshot programm on Linux too. Goddammit. Are you devs or fucking newbie users?16
-
Someone talk to me while I am busy.
Him: I think this table is in the wrong place.
Me:... Excuse me, I didn't hear you, what did you say?
Him: it's in the wrong place..
WHAT is in the wrong place motherfucker.. I didn't hear the whole sentence.. what the shit..
Someone else or it's just me?3 -
Why developers like yellow ducks only, what's wrong with white duck?
Is that what they call racism??
8 -
Well, the system is offline, links are broken and users are complaining! Developer, what did you do?
After some digging around the designer made a "simple change" to a csv file, add a column to include the image file name of each item...
I mean, it just shifted ALL THE COLUMNS in a csv file but what could go wrong? 🤦♂️2 -
Why the fuck do people go to so much trouble to justify what they did instead of just admitting they were wrong?
The way I handle this type of people is to first ask a straightforward like "X implies Y, right?" If they answer "yes" I say "then this here isn't right" and watch them go around the world to find a justification for it not being wrong.6 -
So I just wanted to log back into windows. Typed in the password. Wrong password...
Then I tried being super accurate while typing and also checked keyboard layout, etc. Still, wrong password.
Then I noticed that the letter p is not working. Shit, keyboard seems to be broken.
On screen keyboard -> p is not working...
What the hell? What kind of error is this?
NT Kernel code has to be something like this:
if(timeSinceLastError > someValue)
keyboard.p.enable = false;
I guess you could also replace the keyboard error with some random error.
If you encounter this, restart Windows.3 -
"The hardest part in programming is installing what you need."-the guy that almost threw it's PC out of the window because he spent 2 hours installing the wrong version of opencv3
-
Is there anybody who startet a startUp and failed? Not to be rude, but could you please explain, what you did wrong atd what I could do better?20
-
What I've learned from my boss
-UI is easy to change, it's only css
-It is always low level programmer fault
-Management is never wrong
-You have to be early for them to be extra late
-Complex thing have to be simple
-Being straightforward is only one way
And lastly never ever expect a raise
You guested it, I don't work there anymore! Fuckin cunt4 -
what the FUCK!!! What's wrong with your heads people!?!? If you write code, write it in application source. NOT IN THE FUCKING DATABASE!!!
Database is a REPOSITORY for entities -- NOT a place to be tangled with BUSINESS LOGICS!
Raise_application_error(-20201, 'Payment already confirmed'); my ass!5 -
Been programming Java for a few weeks now, and WTF is this, Java?!
"Example".equals("Example")
What is wrong with the form that a dozen of other languages use?
"Example" == "Example"
P. S. If you don't know Java, the latter one compares for the type of objects and always returns true in this case.15 -
>Gets job to optimize some code
>Me:"What could go wrong?"
>Code is commented in Arab
"All around me are familiar faces..."5 -
That moment when you make a brilliantly profound comment to the team, then turn around and realise they're not in the room. Even on realising this, I say "Oh you're not there" OUT LOUD. What is wrong with me?!3
-
try {
// something
} catch (SomeException e) {
}
Swallowed Exception.. what the fuck is wrong with you?! And I see this shit in a lot of places in the code!7 -
Just decided to revive my old, dead and unappreciated project. Even bought a domain for it. So hyped!
...why am I doing this?5 -
Why isn't this working? I've wrote this same type of code at least 1000 times. Why must there always a problem? Literally every time I try and get something done there is always some stupid error and it's PISSING ME OFF. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN AN...oh...I misspelled "fucntion"8
-
We just had a big drama because our team leader discovered 2 of our projects use 79 character line limit. He changed it to 80 and reformatted all the code.
What is wrong with this world?9 -
I don’t live in the EU, but hearing all the complaints about article 11, 13, etc. is really vexing me.
Article 11 in particular.
Why the hell would you force companies to pay taxes for linking? Why the hell would you tax websites for including sources? Do you want no sources? Do you want misinformation to become a bigger problem? What the hell is wrong with whoever proposed that bill!?!?
The internet is a place for relative freedom. A place of message boards and communities we’ve created. To impede that (beyond making sure it doesn’t facilitate hanious crimes) is just plain wrong.7 -
What is wrong with Java CLI applications? Is it really necessary to output a billion lines consisting of INFO an WARN messages?
If I work some longer with beeline I turn into a Java application myself.
INFO: Writing rant
INFO: Clicking submit
WARN: Heart rate too high
ERR!: SHUT THE FUCK UP JAVA!10 -
me: Have you heard of Murphy's law?
them: Yeah.
me: What is it?
them: If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.
me: Right, have you heard of Cole's law?
them: No, what is it?10 -
What is wrong with people. I put in hours of my time every day and it hurts to see some annonymous person complaining shit about something that doesn't even exist.
😤😤
16 -
Some IT person is walking to the marketing department coffee machine because one on IT is broken.
While waiting for his coffee he yells:
I want a enormous rack!
All the women instantly hide, and one guy say. “You cannot say that here!”
IT guy looks surprised and wondering what he said wrong.... -
What is wrong with all these WordPress designers who go around tagging themselves as Full stack developers, it really sucks4
-
"Your documentation doesn't specify what should be returned if there is no item matching the id, so currently I'm just gonna have it throw a 504"
Why on earth would you? What's wrong with you, you sick bastard?6 -
My first programming experience was in highschool. Within two months I was a better programmer than my teacher.
This just indicates that the people who hire programming teachers need to know what programming is before hiring the wrong person.3 -
You know what's rocket science? Serial ports.
Every freakin' datasheet states RX/TX but not from which side of the connector. Some look at it from the inside (RX for own receive), some from the outside (RX for receive of the counterpart). But never ever try to explain what is what, that would be too easy.
On literally any first attempt of connecting devices in my life it was wrong. And then you switch 'em and it's still wrong. Then you switch again, and it may work. Or you have to switch a few times more, you never know.
Those freaking bastard interfaces from hell.4 -
This rant is not about avoiding bad company but instead: If you find your self in a bad company make sure to note what is bad in terms of:
1. What is wrong?
2. Is it wrong by your book or by everyone's book?
3. How things should be done if you were in charge?
4. Are you able to be productive if those "wrong" things where done correctly? For example if they should have used gitlab cli for auto deployment, do you know how to do that? No? Learn. Yes? Move to the next item in the list
There is no way to avoid bad companies unless you are really lucky, just make the best out of where you are now :)2 -
WTF is wrong with these Govt websites...!!!
Trying to login
"Password is incorrect"
Clicked on reset password,
Now guess what happened next...
They said,
.
ENTER YOUR CURRENT PASSWORD!!!1 -
Providing a web site to pay electricity and other services, but guess what? THE CONNECTION IS NOT SeCuRe !! (What can possibly can go wRoNg).
This retarded country have a lot of skilled people, but the dinosaurs who in charge are literally afraid of new technology.
Wake up bitches, it's almost 2020 -
I'm about to take my first real vacation in about a year. One of the things I'm most looking forward to? Time to work on personal projects.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?1 -
This was when I was pursuing my bachelors degree. One of the professors was of the opinion that only her code was right and anything else is wrong! For example if she did something with a for loop and I did the same with a while loop, my answer would be wrong -_- What the hell -_-
(Also, often her code would be wrong too and sometimes wouldn't even compile.. She used Notepad btw)10 -
Ordered a takeout wok/poke this evening from a new place. The only thought after tasting - what kind of junior made this....? I hope I write code better than he cooks food.
It looks like what it's supposed to look
it smells as it should
it has all the ingredients
but the taste is just... Not right.
I takes special skill to make it so wrong!3 -
I've no idea what is wrong with wordpress developers.
Their code was probably written with their asses.
Even the wordpress API is a big shit with very beautiful function names like "the_content".2 -
Why is it that whenever I show someone the app I made that they always suggest a bunch of fucking idiotic features. What is bloody wrong with "Wow, cool app you made".10
-
What you would do in a situation where your manager tells you to do "A" and your team lead tells you to do "B".
A and B are solutions to the same problem that we are trying to solve. Lead says the manager is wrong and Manager says they are correct.8 -
Lead-Dev: "These links don't work as they should, I'm having you fix them, 'kay?"
Me: "I'll have a look."
> The link doesn't do anything when you click on it.
My internal monologue: (The href is probably just wrong)
> It's not wrong.
Me: "What the fuck?"
Lead-Dev: "Can you fix it?"
Me: "I don't think I can."
Lead-Dev: "Why don't you try looking in thisScript.js?"
Me: "Oh, you think the click event got prevented or something?"
Lead-Dev: "No, I think something went wrong with what that script is doing with the jQuery library this site uses."
Me: "..."
Lead-Dev: "..."
Me: "jQuery... library...?"3 -
Just a quote i like:
"Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong." — Neil Gaiman -
I just tried playing with Sqlmap (since I'm currently free of tasks at work), then tried using it on a university's site. I realized those fuckers stored html tags in their database. What the fuck is wrong with people these days?! This is fucking HTML and it belongs on the front end alone. Fuck!
9 -
!dev
What the hell is wrong with bus drivers?! Our bus was just stopping, and the bus on the other side of the road couldn't care to wait 20 more seconds, so he drives away, fucking waving to our driver. What the hell man? Literally everyone coming with this bus takes it just to switch to your fucking bus you cunt!4 -
When you spend an hour making code changes that have absolutely no effect and tearing stuff out to find out what is going wrong... Only to realize that you're serving a different file from the one you're working on.1
-
When small things get big and don't work and you wonder for hours what is wrong with your code ... only to find out the problem is in the framework you use.
-
So if anyone has visited slant.co they will know the website is overrun with this shit...
What the flying fuck is wrong with these people?
21 -
A hacker wiped some git repos and is asking for ransom in bitcoins. What a shitshow. I'm telling you this guy is messing with the wrong people!
The root cause as reported was weak passwords and unremoved tokens.15 -
Great. Facebook is building the social media system from Black Mirror's "Nosedive".
http://alphr.com/facebook/1009815/...
If there's anyone that could be trusted with that info it's our altruistic friends at Facebook.
What could possibly go wrong...?6 -
Customer has asked me to recreate a dashboard they use with a bunch of data, charts, etc.
Problem: The screenshots they sent me... almost everything is illegible. The fidelity of the screenshots themselves is just fine.
It's that their dashboard they have is straight unintelligible. The charts are all smashed up, scale is off, most data ... you can't even tell what it is.
On one bar chart there's just one bar, no x or y scale indicators ... and a random dot in the bar... what even?
Apparently they love this dashboard but as far as I can tell they can't possibly be getting anything of value from it ...
It's like I can cook... but I can't make a recipe .. wrong ... just like someone else made it wrong from screenshots. :P -
"I need the login credentials for the CMS service"
*sends the email confirmation email*
"No, I can't confirm your email for you. In plain English: send me the email and password to login."
"Ohhhhhhhhh"
Literally what the fuck is wrong with these people.
I swear we're all fucking doomed.5 -
Fuck you Edge!
I can name a var "screen", what is wrong with you? I don't care you have an Object named Screen, they are not the same and I rather use my own, thank you. It's not like I'm "let var=" on you, you piece of shit!4 -
Being told code is "production ready" only to find this:
if name == 'foo' or name == 'bar' or name == 'someothershit'
What's wrong with:
if name in ['foo','bar', 'someothershit']?
Oh and they had 10 different values they were matching, not just 3. What kind of joker am I dealing with?
1 -
One small change to push before playback... what could go wrong? Everything... everything is going wrong.
-
>Adds new feature
>New feature works fine on dev
>New feature works fine on staging
>New feature doesn't work on live
>You can't easily figure out what is wrong because you need to wait an hour for it each time :|5 -
bugfixing quiz:
What is wrong in that Java code:
I would say that happens when developers frequently switch between Java and JavaScript
3 -
When it comes to nervewrecking situations, what I've encountered so far is a pull request for which the 2 reviewers had opposite opinions.
Something like this:
* opens pull request *
reviewer 1: "update using approach A"
* updates code *
reviewer 2: "this is wrong, change to approach B"
* updates code again *
reviewer 1: "this isn't what i asked for, i'm rejecting your PR"
Oh, also, each of them had their own set of coding standards.
What was your most challenging situation when writing code?1 -
AAAAAH why does array_filter in php not readjust indexes after removing elements holy fuck what the fuck is wrong with this language3
-
i hate windows errors so much
there's no information whatsoever, its just "error code 0x696969 lmao something wrong try again later"
what i hate even more is asking microsoft forums what the error code means and being asked if ive tried turning it off and on again6 -
I work for a big bank. I'm going to say pretty much the entire Support team is incompetent.
Oh something went wrong? Escalate to devs... cuz we have no idea wtf to do and don't have the most basic technical problem solving skills...
Bunch of useless monkeys... btw guess what time it is now? And what I'm doing?5 -
-Question-
I am starting a web development company, my biggest fear is how can i find clients.
Does any of you guys has experience or any ideas of what i can do right or wrong?5 -
How to make me not want to
ever contribute to you:
'Please read and sign this CLA'
( Also telling me that shit only whenI try
opening a PR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU )5 -
Fuck you Android Studio. You just prompted me to update, and now are saying The project is using an unsupported version of Gradle. Why the fuck did you not update Gradle (whatever the shit it is) yourself?
What was wrong with Eclipse? Why the fuck Google decided to move to this piece of crap?14 -
When QA keeps on filing bug but you go and check and it's a feature.
No. Seriously IT IS a feature.
Like c'mon! I told you it is a feature. Go and check sys req!
What is wrong with this world? >.<1 -
*random person in tram witha huge backpack* let's stand in the middle of the fking door, with my backpack towards the door so I clearly can't see if anyone is trying to get into the tram.
What the fuck is wrong with you? There is tons of space and even seats free what the actuall fuck just move along already! Jeez. What's wrong with people! At least stand at the side or something.
That's a new kind of shit. Don't get to see this every day.2 -
I'm about to get my MSc and I've been getting a lot of interesting offers as a software engineer at small and big companies.
But I'm a fucking chemical engineer, and I don't know if I should be honoured or I should be mad. What the fuck is wrong with people?2 -
Android is fucking fucked up.
Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,
React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?
And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.
Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.
Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.
9 -
Dear Users
USERNAME@example.com and username@example.com means same thing. What the fuck is wrong with you?3 -
Salespeople telling clients "Your site doesn't need a privacy policy/cookie policy since you don't actually sell anything on your site."
Wrong wrong wrong WRONGITY WRONG WROOONNGGGG!!!!!
Client to PM to me: "Well Jim said we don't need those on this site."
Me: "Well Jim is misinformed, since we use Google analytics, Facebook Pixel, and contact forms, you need to have both a privacy and cookie policy."
PM to client: "We'll find you a template you can use to get started, it'll cover most of what you need."
Me to PM: "we will do no such thing, we can send them a few links explaining why they need these, but they should consult a legal professional and cover their asses for their own business practices. I can provide any technical details they may need like what data the cookies collect if necessary."
PM to me: "well I'll just find something for them then."
*In my head* please just go crawl in a hole and die.4 -
Eclipse and it's fuckery!
Shows error/warning on random line. Don't know what's wrong, coz nothing is! Select all, cut and paste the selection on the same page and save again. Woof! Errors gone! Dafuq Eclipse? What sorcery is this bitch? -
Today a co-worker (I am going to call him 'boss') ask to another co-worker (I am goin to call it 'useless piece of shit' or 'ups') to explain to me a new task, becaus boss was to bussy with a new release for a client.
Idk how but ups managed to explain all wrong, like terribly wrong.
Ups: "Dev, all you have to do is fix some queries from local files"
Dev: "Ok, seems legit"
Try the local files, nothing happend
Dev: "weird... ups why this is happening?"
Ups: "I know the same as you, ask boss."
Dev: "boss this."
Boss: "what the actual what? ... this is all wrong. The config file is in mongo, in this IP, we don't use local files anymore. I tell ups to explain this to you so I can atay focused on this other task, but now I lost the double amount of time"
Dev: "oh... sorry, I will fix the remote queries"
I hate ups, every fucking time soneone need something from him this happend or worst...1 -
My router bit the dust last night... so I bought a new one that is a bit faster. I was getting about 30 mbps with wifi on my old one, this is what I am getting on my new one. I should add that I thought I was only paying for 150 mb connection, I guess i was wrong :)
3 -
So this person is looking for a way to learn how to create websites, but apparently doesn't know what backend or frontend is.
Not sure if he is using the wrong process, or someone teaching him messed things up pretty bad. Or probably my question wasn't properly phrased?
Not sure what to say next. How to help him without investing hours? Should I share a good link for him to read? How do I do that without scaring him away?
8 -
What the heck is wrong with these recruiters? You have a good facebook group with rules that states not to post ads or job listings. Then this headhunter just joins and ignoring the rules start pointing their job posts. What's worse is they are even posting unrelated programming languages. This ain't a people farm scumbags!10
-
I just hate wordpress. Whenever I have to touch it, makes me nervous.
This time I just have to put some html/css. I was thinking it's piece of cake.
Couldn't be more wrong. This fucker is adding extra tags to my code fucking up what made...1 -
I finally got the refurbished laptop I ordered and..
wrong CPU, wrong number of cores
wrong GPU
only 1 USB port, I bought 3
battery is DOA
fuck aaa_pcs at ebay. they better replace this with what I bought or imma call Karen to talk to their manager
maybe I should check for spyware/backdoors/etc while I'm at it just because I'm pissed.
any suggestions? nothing is too petty if it doesn't void warranty6 -
Just found out the reason for these extremely useless "Script error." errors we're getting being so useless is, once again, CORS. 😡
"Hey, something went wrong in an iframe. I'm not allowed to tell you what went wrong, or where, but trust me some shit is broken *somewhere*. But you have to figure it out yourself."
If cross-origin blocking were a person I'd kick him in the nuts just for being such a fucking dick all the time.2 -
What the fuckiing piece of fucking shit is fucking wrong with fucking windows....I have been trying to login to windows after a few months(had dual booted with Ubuntu)....it's been fucking 4 hours and it still has some updates to do and I see the fucking following message on my fucking screen....wtf wtf wtf wtf..... frustration is uncontrollable
5 -
When you want to ++ a rant or follow a dev but the page refreshes and the post you saw pisses off into the nether-sphere. I can’t avoid this on any social media. What is wrong with me.7
-
Can somebody please tell me What is wrong with Microsoft and their broken piece of shit software?! (sorry to any Microsoft devs, if you read this). How the hell is it that their fucking installer and system repair features is this fucking useless? "Sorry, can't install on disk 0,cause the disk is in gpt format" NO SHIT, you were the fucking asshole who formatted it from the begining. Douchebag.10
-
Reading documentation carefully is cool.
If i did that yesterday i would know that react sees env vars started with REACT_APP_
Instead that i was trying to figure out for 3 hours what is wrong with my docker compose file.
Read documentation1 -
Just what the fuck is up with the senior devs in my team? Just because it's my first job as a developer doesn't mean I can't be right at times. Why can't they fucking digest that they could be wrong at times and me trying to tell them what could be improved is just for the product and has nothing to do with their egoistic selves.4
-
What the fuck is wrong with people!?
When I produced somewhaz high quality Videos, Ive gotten like 10-20 views a day...
Now... I made A FUCKING 10H EDIT OF SOME GUY SAYING SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT... AND I MADE 181 FUCKING VIEWS IN A SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!
FUCK THIS.5 -
What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.11 -
I once got into a full argument with this guy who claimed that no-one would collect his usage data because he's not interesting enough.
He then called me stupid when I told him he was wrong.
8 -
I'm sure that there is a special kind of hell for people who downvote questions on StackOverflow without even adding a comment or trying to edit the question itself.
I don't understand what the fuck is wrong with people.1 -
Working on something...
-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?
Attempt a few fixes...
-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?
Attempt other changes...
-Why is it still not working!?
Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...
-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?
Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...
-...Why does it work now... -
"Hey, don't promote yourself - where I'm trying to promote myself... ok? Have some respect."
OMFG...
What the fuck is wrong with you fucking morons. This is the INTERNET.
IT IS FOR SHARING THINGS.
Just because you feel special / doesn't mean - anything.
This isn't YOUR soapbox. And even if it was... look at your feet you dumb fuck. You are the one standing on it. -
Seems to me some companies only want people who have read computer science books back to front.
What is the fucking point of asking me a question, to then say it's wrong, and then just repeat what I said but in a way that sounds like it is directly from a book?
Who the fuck cares what the difference between c++ and python are, I don't want to work with python anyway, and the job has nothing to do with python?
#madness5 -
What's wrong with Google and Facebook selling my data, what are the effects directly affecting me from them selling my data? Why should I care that someone is making money off of something from me that doesn't affect me at all?
Putting so much effort into hiding from those companies has more negative effects then just letting them do what they're doing.58 -
Working with Swift & Kotlin again, feels good to work with them, although I did enjoy working with Typescript, but React Native is just not fun to work with ....1
-
Why is installing the C/C++ compiler and build tools such a pain in the arse on windows? Just wanted to use the spacy package which uses CPython now I have to install gigabytes of shit and move some dlls and exes around just so I can install the fucking package. What the fuck is wrong with this shit.4
-
Fucking egos. Why is it so difficult to communicate with some senior?
Senior: we need to support old browsers.
Me: What about using polyfills.ts?
Senior: that's not what I am asking for. what's wrong with my implementation?
Me: check whether a global function exists at one place does not solve the issue. What if people use global function somewhere else
Senior: is the pr breaking some features for old browser...
Fucking hell5 -
So was freelancing for a guy and I know him pretty well or so I thought. Turns out he is a corrupt prick who leaked one of his support staffs phone number to all the customers because she wasn't online for two days. What the fuck is wrong with some people.
-
boss: numbers being aside. Why is this happening 40% of the time.
me: (thinking) wtf what an idiot. wtf do you think?!
type: (politely) Well the number being wrong suggests it's *not* happening 40% of the time.
I don't know who I hate more, myself for not point out how dumb that question is. or the person asking the question. -
I got a rubber duck that can say what my code is doing wrong! Well, actually it is my brother that just gives me advice on how I can make my code work lol1
-
When you're not confidant enough in your own code ... but you should be:
Me: "Why the hell is this duplicating data?!?!?!"
-time passes-
-figures it out-
Me: Wait that returns an error wouldn't that be ...
Yeah there was an error on the god damn screen in the status box I created telling me what was going wrong but I just ignored it... I was knee deep in code and my own UI was telling me what was wrong ;)2 -
What does Linux and web development have in common. New distros and framework popping up everyday.
What is wrong with people, creating distros and web framework for dumb reason. When they can contribute to to existing distro/framework to make it better.8 -
Guy: Hey you know computers right
Me: sure
This guy takes his computer apart during class and wants me to see what it wrong with it. I'm like dude what the heck the Professor is teaching! Freaking crazy. -
I wish real world would have breakpoints and we could just go back to fix those bugs.
What is wrong with people... Trump, Munich, Ansbach, Nice, Brexit, Orlando... so many bugs to find...3 -
What is wrong with Stackoverflow mods and so called seasoned users? Why is everyone in such a rush to close questions and point you to other questions which has no relevance.
Once they do this, is just over. Explaining why they are wrong makes no diff. And you can't just repost. The question is just dead.
Genuinely think they should just burn in hell. Sick a holes. If you're not interested in answering or helping at least stay out of people's business.12 -
Seriously getty images, what is wrong with you. Usually it is bad enough that sign in forms say username or email and then only accept one of those two options. Getty images only allows for the username, so i enter that. Doesn't work. I use the forgot password function, have to enter username and email, doesn't work. Turns out the username is the email adress and what I entered was only the display name. Seriously, how stupid is that? What is the point of a username when you have a separate display name and just set it to the account email adress?
-
So this is my conversation with my friend today, I feel so dumb.
*out of curiosity, after seeing his PC application*
me: Hey bro what make the GUI so simple what you use?
friend: theek hai.
me: Seriously bhai, what you use?
friend: I just told you ! I said theek hai!
me: *confused and thinking,*, what library for which language ?
friend: python bro.
me: *finally realise* you mean TK? omg..
friend: that's I was saying bro.
well i messed up hindi and english what is wrong with me?4 -
Unstableness of core technology stack. The more developers are there, the more complicated architecture they create that often doesn’t give any significant value besides what if something goes wrong ?
What if you make mistake ?
What if power goes down ?
I feel I am last optimistic thinking software developer on this planet.
I feel that those tools just try to give some sort of power to the management over developer free mind.
Creatures like multicloud, cloud, k8s I feel that it’s just beginning not the end of road. And this beginning is a wrong turn.
It’s just another vendor lock in.
But I might be wrong.3 -
came to the pub for some peice and quiet to read my book and this fucking dumbass boomer is sneezing every fucking goddamn second dude fucking fuck off god just eject me into space what the fuck is wrong with these FUCKING retards jesus christ5
-
This is what happens when it's late at night and you've been staring at something for too long... someone had to point out to me that I actually added the wrong permission :/
1 -
Why is there a - 1 plus option? Just listened to a podcast by stackoverflow where they explained how they removed the down vote option on comments out of the idea that you cant be wrong on what you think..
Just throwing an idea5 -
Am I unlucky or perhaps in the wrong place if I’m always stressed as a junior dev coz too much pressure and they give you super tight deadlines and do languages that you never done before?
Or is what most people go through when they were juniors9 -
Created a bat file in windows-
shutdown /p and copied into the starup folder....
Now my friend thinks what the hell is wrong with hic laptop..2 -
Reading documentation for 3rd party software... come across a code snippet which references a class. The class is spelt correctly in the comment but wrong in the code!
What??? Surely if you're going to get it wrong it would be the other way round :/ -
Haven't ranted about anything for quite a while... So, is everything perfect in my work and life ? Or, is something reallllly wrong that I haven't even realized what it is ??1
-
so because of equipment limitations I am currently being paid to be bored and watch someone else try to figure out what is wrong with their code. I literally just want to build.1
-
How do you know when it is time for a break?
transition: color 0.5em linear;
When you cannot figure out what is wrong with this transition...2 -
I hate arrow functions in ES6! Whenever I see them, I get acute code dyslexia and can't read shit. What the fuck is wrong with writing function, why change it for some unreadable series of symbols?10
-
Half sleeping at the train and writing some codes on the back of the ticket ... What is wrong with me1
-
I have a problem. I am too much of a perfectionist when it comes to coding. I need it to be perfect before anybody else lays their eyes upoun it. Functions, logic, commits.. everything needs to look good. This has been one of the reasons why I get delayed so much and miss deadlines.1
-
At work they have an innovation challenge this week and they are putting us in groups based so there is no group with a skill level of over 9000 here is the dialogue:
Survey:On a scale from 1 to 5 what is your Linux skill
Me: vim I use vim
I got a response from the event organizer who said we will label you a 7
What is wrong with our devs that puts me off the scale because I use vim -
Why are you paying me to architect your new stack if you're just going to mandate that I use Guice and Jersey "because that's what you're using already"? I'm sorry. You're wrong. Spring Boot is not a "dying technology". I'm not going to build you a servlet from scratch. Get fukt.1
-
This comes up when I search on Google 'what is code' lol this looks like a bob the builder remake all about code
-
i cant understand some people
Why use atom for python development while we have pycharm?
is it about price?
community edition is free and 100 times better than atom.
what is wrong with you?16 -
I have been using Windows my entire life but never gotten the bluescreen of death.. What ha e i been doing wrong?! :P
Also I want to learn to use Linux. Which is best for developing and beginners ?11 -
Why do I have to signup first before applying for a position? What the fuck is even wrong with Workday!!
-
I hate developers that don’t apply logic to non programming concepts. Like when someone declares what they don’t want instead of what they want. For my sake just say what you want to see.
I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it it is not. Congrats you probably won.
I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it is. Sorry you probably got it wrong. -
What the fuck is wrong with npm/react-native??!?😡😡
I completed a part of a project last week, worked well, then I cloned the repo today and It returns BUILD FAILED,
WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU SATAN?!😡1 -
Polish Translation for Microsoft Visual Studio...
Hope you figure out what is wrong witch that shit
Good Job Bill...
6 -
What the hell is wrong with PreferenceScreen in Android? It's a disgusting horrible piece of shit. It looks awesome, but actually it's a horrible trap. Just wasted a whole day, when I could have just implemented it from scratch myself. Never gonna use that piece of crap again.
-
I'm following this fucking tutorial (https://blog.ssdnodes.com/blog/...) and everything goes well, I have docker running, docker compose installed properly, but when I start trying to create the docker-compose.yml and accessing the stupid site using the virtual host domain i set I can't it keep getting "503 Service Temporarily Unavailable" or "502 Bad gateway" what the hell am i doing wrong, I just want to get this working in my VM so i can move it to my damn server and have my own fucking cloud. This damn bullshit is exactly why i went into programming rather than dealing with configuring servers and bullshit like this i know it's outside my level of understanding but I really fucking want my own cloud system but I want it containerized for both isolation and learning purposes.
I have no idea what the hell i'm doing wrong and all the damn articles and links i'm reading aren't helping at all with my level of stupid not allowing me to understand what i'm doing wrong1 -
What the hell is wrong with recaptcha? It is solely there to be a nuisance, especially if I use a 2FA device. I do not fear hacking attempts against my username+password, because the 2FA will keep the lucky guess out.4
-
If boss doesn't like you, what would you do ?
1- try to make him happy with your work?
2- search for new job.
p.s boss insulting too much after anything goes wrong.
What is the professional way to deal with that kind of situation?14 -
i just want to shoot my both hands, eyes and legs.
NO I DID NOT MEAN __d_dirname!!!!
I MEANT dd_name!!
NOT d_name, but dd_name!!
i swear to god the other times it worked. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG? I SPENT 3 FUCKING HOURS DEBUGGING THIS SHIT!
yes i have included sys/types.h, dirent.h AND sys/stat.h AND I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!
why did you worked last time? i just wanted to implement a better library than handling all the known and unknown errors myself.
if anyone knows what is wrong, please help me, i am disperate.
19 -
That we all fail and for every time you think someone else is stupid or falls into mistakes, you will fall into your own mistakes and be stupid in front of someone else, no one is perfect, we are all humans and at the end our work is to tell machines what to do and if they do it wrong, it's because we told them to do it that way and we are wrong.
-
Every once in a while I find an app that is so intuitive I wonder what it is we're doing wrong... It's like getting into a new car and immediately knowing where the headlights, wipers, and radio controls are without even looking.1
-
What is wrong with Android Studio it used to be better just the sheer number of updates and the gradle build oh the gradle build5
-
I tend to write with long variable names instead of using too many comments to explain what i am doing in the code. Is it wrong?1
-
What is wrong with me? I noticed I stopped breathing when I code. Coding apnea, anyone else? How can I train myself to keep breathing?5
-
Today was the last day in a project that I've hated so much. But now I'm feeling kind of nostalgic. What the fuck is wrong with me?
-
Client: "We don't rank for {competitive keyword}. What is wrong with your code? Or is it the design?"
Me: "I'm the designer, not the SEO guy"***sits client down to explain SEO -
Why the FUCK do I feel an urge to always update all the mf packages and then spend hours debugging some shitty mismatch? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?2
-
Do you ever come to a solution but forget what the original problem you were solving for was?
I just tried to do a large number multiplication in my head but now forgot what I needed it for...
And after plugging the solution into Google and what I can recall... Seems the answer is wrong as it's indivisible by one of the terms that was involved in the multiplication...2 -
What the f*...
SomeType {
var something = {
somethingElse: "blah",
whatever: "halb"
}
var doStuff = function() {
this.something.whatever = "foo";
}
}
Based on what fucking logic are you claiming "something" is _undefined_ while running doStuff()??? What the fuck is wrong with you??? It's a freakin' static context!!!! "SOMETHING" IS DESIGNED TO BE DEFINED ! ! ! ! !8 -
Tell me, the US isn't completely fucked up country and I will show you out...
I will just leave this here
https://cnet.com/news/...#
Still wondering tho, what the fuck is wrong with the word "dummy"...
The only thing that is wrong about these words is the people telling that they are wrong.8 -
I’m a neat guy and gosh darn it people like it when i yell at them
It stirs something above and below in them to hear precisely what is wrong with them at high earnestly hateful volumes before the salty taste1 -
Salesforce translation import tool is absolutely useless regarding error messages, when something is wrong with the file. Even if you try to replicate an already correct file, salesforce just tells you that something went wrong and which file formats are accepted ... even when using said format. No hints, no further explanation ... I need more details, WHAT IS WRONG?😠2
-
Spent days telling people what to do. What the database fields should look like, went down to every little bit, which was annoying because I hired them to think for themselves.
Spent a couple days verifying this and that. "Is this field really needed?"
Of course it's needed, otherwise why would it be in the specs? It took me two fucking days to communicate on these things they could have just done in half an hour.
They do it wrong. It's been clearly outlined and it's still wrong.
Management then insists on more communication so things don't go wrong. We have meetings every day to discuss what must be done. Every other day we have meetings between another project leader to discuss what we just discussed. Every two days we have progress report meetings.
We spend 70% of the time communicating now and everyone still gets everything done wrong. This is why you have to be really, really careful when hiring. Technical interviews can just be giving someone a spec and seeing whether they can do it. -
*last week, sprint retrospect meeting*
TL : "So next is dotenv . Hey dotenv, tell us what went well in the sprint, what went wrong and what could be improved"
le dotenv: "so all went good for me. i had just 5 tickets and i was able to complete them on time. i am grateful for team to provide support when needed in those tasks. no areas for improvement or wrong from my side"
*next sprint*
TL : "So dotenv, you have these 7 tickets with 3 being p0 priority. you also have 2 releases in addition to these tickets. also, since your senior is going to Malaysia for a nice fucking week, here is his additional 5 tickets with 3 p0 priority and 2 releases :)"
me : 🥲
----
I really need to push up my blame game :/2 -
What the crap? Get this, I'm setting the timezone to UTC in PHP. All find and dandy, only that it gives me the wrong FUCKING date and time, like what is wrong with you xD I changed nothing since yesterday and yesterday it gave me the correct time xD2
-
I'm doing a thing that I *think* will save time, but it's weighing the time saved in having to maintain the secure password against having to convince my manager that using a random string in an ansible deployment for a database is fine because everything that connects to it is in the same stack... What could go wrong?2
-
So between Linux distros like Ubuntu, Manjaro, and Fedora the only difference in the Terminal is the package manager right?
Like Ubuntu uses apt-get, Manjaro uses pacman and I think Fedora uses yum (that’s what I’ve been told I could be wrong) but other than that is there any other big difference in the terminal?17 -
So ik this is some super basic shit but for the life of me I have no idea what it's trying to tell me is wrong..
3 -
There's a right way, and a wrong way...
Correct:
if (version <= OLD_VERSION) {
... do_something_old ...
}
else { ... something new ... }
The wrong way:
if (version = NEW_VERSION) {
... do something new ...
} else { ... do something old ... }
What my standup report is today:
I'm modifying thousands of lines of SQL code because the script was hard-coded to only work on SQL Server 2008 R2, and we're using SQL 2017 in our test environment. All of those lines now fail because we don't match your "new version" number.4 -
I'm scared I will assert something is a certain way when actually it isn't. It's not that I hate being wrong, I'm wrong all the damn time, I just don't want to be seen as someone with a big ego who can't take the time to learn what's actually going on.
This results in my constantly saying "I think" and "maybe", which makes me sound less confident and likely results in being taken less seriously. But I think I prefer that to sending someone down the wrong path if I'm not sure I know what I'm saying is correct.1 -
WTF with Linux foundation?! I mean seriously, are their certificates (LFCE -LFCSA) valid for 24 months and do they need renewal?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Does anyone of you know what is this shit or correct me if I'm wrong.2
-
One hell of a devRant, and a very good read which explains why much of what many of us were taught about programming is wrong:
http://smashcompany.com/technology/...3 -
When you are trying to write event handlers in JavaScript and nothing is working so you spend hours and hours trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with your js code only for it to be a duplicate id. Fuck sake. I really wish JavaScript warned you about duplicate ids, but then again that's what you get for using such a weakly typed language.
-
Fuck the AP comp sci test all they give me is a number (1-5) and that's fucking it, how the fuck and I supposed to know what I did wrong.1
-
Another Team: How do we do this thing? What aws role do we need?
Me: You do it like this, and I don't know the role by this guy does and all you have to do is ask him for the name of the role to assume.
AT: Ok, great.
AT: We're going to do it like this (wrong way, completely against best practices and completely against what the company architects dictate)
Me: No... thats the wrong way. Don't do it that way. That is bad, because (Reasons A, B, C). Do it the way I told you it should be done.
AT: Ok! I see thank you!
3 hrs later
AT schedules a meeting to go over options to do the thing ... including the WRONG WAY and they still haven't talked to That Guy to get the role name they need.1 -
I changed my password to "incorrect", so anytime I forget and enter the wrong thing, the computer tells me what it is.5
-
Symfony docs suck.
https://symfony.com/doc/current/...
when running
doctrine:migrations:execute
what parameter to pass to the fucking version to not get class not found fucking error?
No explaination in docs, no explaination in command --help. wtf is wrong with symfony devs?9 -
In the middle of a deployment call and the dev wants to "add a feature" on the fly (what could go wrong right!?). Next thing I here on our phone call is the client saying "great idea let's add that feature now! I'll wait to test!" Wait... WHAT THE FUCK is the client doing on this deployment call?!1
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What is the point of doing retros and giving feedback, if the fucking scrum master is not going to enforce it?
I hope we can rid of this stupid scrum master position. Don't get me wrong we need managers, but we don't need glorified task readers.2 -
again xdebug not working and not giving any logs.
How can I at least get logs so that I could know what is wrong with it? I already tried this answer:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...2 -
!devrant
What the fuck is wrong with walking deads CGI??? Did they lose all their budget or something?
DEER WALKING DEAD DIE1 -
Even when the code is right, it's wrong. Like when you are fixing bugs:
"damn, this variable doesn't look like it belongs in this part of the code", but when you look further into it you see that is correct and you continue with the bug and have no idea what the next step should be.1 -
I have technical problems with postgresql, AlienVault, Xenservers and Fortigate. I should be reading manuals and going through forums and mailing lists but instead, I'm reading ebooks in personal development like time management, verbal communications improvement and personal finance.
What is wrong with me?1 -
I need to code up a basic API/JSON consumption script and I literally just can’t bring myself to do it because I’m afraid to fail at doing it right. What is WRONG with me?! Am I the only person who goes through this kind of self-sabotage?4
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Le me.
Tasked with eval’ing SPA frameworks.
Gets down to business with Vue.
Fuck this shit.
It’s lovely when it works, but heaven help you if *anything* is slightly off.
What the fuck is Webpack?! Fucking ugly-ass, hydra-looking fuckery is what it is.
Cypress? Hah! Does it want to work? No it fucking does not.
Does anything tell me what’s wrong? Nope.
I love OSS, but so much of it a complete clusterfuck of duct tape and prayers.4 -
What a fuck is wrong with GitHub? Almost every day there are a few minutes when requests take ages to load. Is Microsoft messing up their cloud?
(Everything else works correctly. E.g. devRant opened instantly, speedtest measures good network speed)7 -
A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.
Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong."
Knight turned the machine off and on.
The machine worked -
Who could explain what a container is? Like a Docker container, but not necessarily Docker. Google doesn't provide simple yet meaningful answer (or there is something wrong with me today). Any ideas?8
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Why does maven for eclipse not do what I want? Am I just doing it wrong, or is it too complicated to get an executable jar with all dependency plugins packaged, where no alert like "main class not found" will pop up at execution?!?
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My ex had an accident. I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for her. She'll finally experience what rejection is really like.
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What the hell is wrong with the CLang standard libraries? Whose crazy idea was it to put memset and memcpy in the string library?
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Code comments are good and all, but there's a time and a place for them. They're more or less an opinionated free-form version of what code is doing.
In a library, they're good for documentation. However in a platform, it makes less sense. Especially one which is changing at quite a fast rate (though it has matured in recent months).
Dont get me wrong, we aren't doing wades of horrible, unintelligible code. We need to be sure of what happens when we call a function, so we make sure the signature is always correct.
def do_good_things(puppies): # "good things" is opinionated. Say what you're doing
"""give treats to puppies""" # doc string is wrong
pet(puppies)5 -
why google???? I mean how hard for them to update a reference document. The reference of gmail api for python2 and python2 is in EOL. The first error I found for python3 is reported in 2015 on GitHub and now is 2019. I mean, seriously the bigB_Company don't have time to update their document. I scratched my head for an hour, what the fuck did goes wrong.
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Join and Smart Recruiters is really trying very hard to overtake Workday as the worst job application platform.
Join has the effrontery to send me reminder emails to fill in the same details already contained in the resume I uploaded. What the fuck is wrong with these people?1 -
RES software
They got bought up by Ivanti but such assmonkeys evrything is next next finish untill something doesn't work or comply 🥲
Then it's backtrack backtrack undo till you find out what is wrong, within the development cycle they assume alot everything works, and you want the settings they recommend ... LOL
Errors are a thing for professionals. -
so we started new branch to develop new feature. then merge to staging. then from staging merge into master. master means production for us. this is website so this means continous integration. how you deal with versions? what i do wrong?
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Client: I need to organize this data in my database, just let me create any folder, and folders inside folders. I mean, it is a database so you can create folders right?
Me: I'll see what I can do
Inner me: NO, F U, that's not easy, that's not how databases work, WTH is wrong with you4 -
Sometimes while writing software / consulting I feel like house md. Not always am I right the first time, but this is often due to me looking at the wrong thing. But at the end of the day I am able to give advice that may be seen absurd but usually is correct.
(tip: it's never lupus, what is quite right because code is code)1 -
I have been arguing with my company's analytic on bootstrap grid system for two days now. The guy doesn't understand what is so wrong about hardcoding bootstrap column percentages when in our company's layout rules it states we use the col 12 system
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What is this "HTTPS Everywhere" chrome extension about??? I thought only site managers (?) can make a website https or not, and not visitors of a site. Was I wrong?!1
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What are some good coding buddies? I'm thinking of toys, not people. Suggestions? I need someone to talk my code through with who won't argue with me even if my code is wrong 🙃1
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can't see what i'm doing wrong in terms of syntax, or what required field im supposedly missing
visual comparison against older example IDE is happy about can't see difference
copy paste workign example and update params to what i want for new one, seems happy
i fucking hate you typescript
i guess i should've put this shit through kaleidoscope or any other advanced diff, if i owned any or cared
if i need to debug further ill consider it2 -
This is so awful and familiar and I know I figured out what was wrong that I HAVE To post it.
AND NO ITS NOT A RAM PROBLEM !!!
I had to make it animated. I don't feel a big blob image really illustrated the issue.
15 -
Why does everyone say that Vscode is better than webstorm? I love a lot of the features of webstorm but always find myself gravitating back to Vscode.. what am I doing wrong?4
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