Client : How much for the project?
Me : $10,000
Client : I will give you $72.

The week before project deadline...

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!" The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"

When you are the one who does all the work in a group project.

A project manager 😂

When the PM gives you the project estimates...

Compiling empty project

Oh yeah, we are starting a new project

"You will get a month to finish this project."

"I will be honest and give you are a realistic deadline. It will take about 2 months."

"But ${random} company told me they will take one month."

"As you can see from your previous project, they will say one month and will drag it to two-three months by making excuses"

"No, I don't think you are good enough for it. I will pass it to them."

"..."

When boss tries to look smart and gives you advice about the project you wrote:

Project management

Hardest part of starting a project: Picking a name.

Project manager

Prof: You need to submit a project that uses AI

That night:

Am I the only dumb fuck who can't think of a project idea?

Project Status Life Cycle... Lol :)

I finally get in the mood to work on my side project and GUESS WHAT? THE API IM USING FOR IT IS FUCKING DOWN 😂🔫

!rant

A: "Hi, I'm A, I'm the CEO of X, we had this project I'd like you to do for me"
Me: "Hi, can I have more details about the project?"
A: "Ah yes, this is some kind of e-commerce for our start-up, we need you to do a web app, iOS, and Android app in 1 month"
Me: "OK we can do it in 2 month."
A: "OK we'll let you know our decision tomorrow"

(next month)
A: "Sorry we have to postpone this project"

(next 5 month)
A: "Hi! now I'm building this Y start-up and we need you to help us migrate our android app to web"
Me: (Looks feasible than his last project) "OK, I can do it"
A: "Can we meet tomorrow?"
Me: "OK"
(tomorrow)
Me: "Hello? where will we meet?"
Me: "?"

(next month)
A: "Hi! Sorry for not replying, can we meet this week for the Y project?"
Me: (...)

Heard a fun quote from a project manager today:

"Naaah we don't need tests, that project is so small it wouldn't be worth it"

Seconds later: "Why does this keep breaking all the time and we only notice it once deployed?"

Personal project coding cycle:

- Because to many libs, too many ways, to many choices

A project is never done... It's just pushed to production

Our project Right now 😂

Original deadline for project was April, we're in August and we're still in Shadow :p

Our project manager who also happens to be our web designer... (Start Up)

Project Manager: We have a go signal. Go convert this design to html and css. And make it responsive.

Me: Can you forward me the mail so I can check if it's actually approved?

Project Manager: Just do it.

Me: (After tweaking) There. It's done.

Project Manager: They want to change all the layout of the site. We're gonna do it from scratch. They didn't like the design.

Me: What? I thought your design was approved?

Project Manager: I thought so too. But i'm your PM so get back to work.

There was no mail from the client.

Is just mine or every project manager thinks that developers are magicians and can actually develop stuff in a very unrealistic timeline.?

Deconstructed Wall-E?
Nope. My project for final semester of engineering.

This is what the specs for our newest project look like. FML.

Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.

I actually completed a personal project with proper documentation and published it on GitHub. That doesn't happen too often!

When you almost finished a cool project and then they said: we can put it on hold...

Project bugs...

Python and a cup of Earl Gray Tea and I feel like captain Picard commanding the Enterprise. The dark theme of the IDE helps, too.

Welcome new side project.

My favorite thing about completing a project is closing a bazillion browser tabs.

Why does your project get delayed?

When my project manager say i'm lazy because I can't finish the project..

Project Management in a nutshell.

Boss says that I'm getting a third project I should work on from now on.
Also says that that the deadline is at march 21th.
Then says that the other project whose deadline is at may 1st has priority over all others.

Project coordinator blames our team because client said we failed to "align" with other teams.

Coordinator.
Project. Coordinator.

What the actual fuck.

Wore a suit to work.
Feels like a project manager.

Didn't open the IDE.

Mate: I think we should use firebase for our project.
Me: why?, I don't think our project require firebase
Mate: I think there should be some use of firebase in our project.
Me: *madly Explains complete project architecture why we don't need real-time database*
Mate: *not accepting* there should be use of firebase, I'll think and tell you
Me: *Flips table* 😡

A woman can make 4 babies with 4 different fathers in 9 months, right?

Someone decided we need a "rubber band programmer" who bounces around from project to project as needed, and that gets to be me.

So I work on 4 projects, with 3 programming languages, 4 frameworks, and with users in 4 complicated industries, none of which I have experience with.

And my boss wonders why I'm not as productive as everyone who has worked on 1 project for 5 years.

When the project development finishes and client gives changes.

Had a final year project defence today in university. There were about 15 CS teachers in the room.
Our project was "Crypto Currency". After all the presentation was finish.

Teachers: so what is this blockchain?

** explained all about it and how it works with marker in a whiteboard **

While most of the projects were rejected and they have asked several cross questions to other friends, they didnt even ask any question to us and said our project is accepted.

Turns out teachers were taught by a student today, feels so good 😎 😂

Client A: "I understand that we need to extend the due date for the project, but why we need pay extra for that?"

Me: "Because my people and I need money to survive as well...."

Really found this type of students when I was finding someone to collab with me for final year project

Who has an "Testing Stuff" Project?

Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.

1. Comes up with a project idea.
2. Doesn't have enough friends who code to collaborate said idea with.

3. Abadons project.

All in that order. lol
I just want to build cool stuff. :(

Starting a new project tonight to help fellow teachers! First time actually using Github as well.... Interesting although I found it hard to get my head around!

Really, every project starts the same - exactly the same:

git init

This is something that happened 2 years ago.

1st year at uni, comp sci.

Already got project to make some app for the univ that runs in android, along with the server

I thought, omg, this is awesome! First year and already got something to offer for the university 😅
(it's a new university, at the time I was the 2nd batch)

Team of 12, we know our stuffs, from the programming POV, at least, but we know nothing about dealing with client.

We got a decent pay, we got our computers upgraded for free, and we even got phones of different screen sizes to test out our apps on.

No user requirement, just 2-3 meetings. We were very naive back then.

2 weeks into development, Project manager issues requirement changes

we have a meeting again, discussing the important detail regarding the business model. Apparently even the univ side hadn't figure it out.

1 month in the development, the project manager left to middle east to pursue doctoral degree

we were left with "just do what you want, as long as it works"

Our projects are due to be done in 3 months. We had issues with the payment, we don't get paid until after everything's done. Yet the worse thing is, we complied.

Month 3, turns out we need to present our app to some other guy in the management who apparently owns all the money. He's pleased, but yet, issued some more changes. We didn't even know that we needed to make dashboard at that time.

The project was extended by one month. We did all the things required, but only got the payment for 3 months.

Couldn't really ask for the payment of the fourth month since apparently now the univ is having some 'financial issues'.

And above all: Our program weren't even tested, let alone being used, since they haven't even 'upgraded' the university such that people would need to use our program as previously planned.

Well, there's nothing to be done right now, but at least I've learned some REALLY valuable lesson:

1. User Requirement is a MUST! Have them sign it afterwards, and never do any work until then. This way, change of requirements could be rejected, or at least postponed

2. Code convention is a MUST! We have our code, in the end, written in English and Indonesian, which causes confusion. Furthermore, some settle to underscore when naming things, while other chooses camel case.

3. Don't give everyone write access to repository. Have them pull their own, and make PR later on. At least this way, they are forced to fix their changes when it doesn't meet the code convention.

4. Yell at EVERYONE who use cryptic git commit message. Some of my team uses JUST EMOTICONS for the commit message. At this point, even "fixes stuffs" sound better.

Well, that's for my rant. Thanks for reading through it. I wish some of you could actually benefit from it, especially if you're about to take on your first project.

Alright I get the importance of project planning but having a Sprint meeting at 7am is just insane.

!Rant
This is what my project looks like. 😁
End result:
Remote Surveillance System.

1. have an exciting app idea
2. create project folder
3. include WebPack

…

47. lose all passion for project and give up

GOTO 1

Have you ever been so alone on a project that even if everything seems easy, you don't want to work on it because nobody cares about it?

They:-How's the project
Me:- Its fine
The Project :-

When client want a huge project with low budget

Every college project gets to the "fuck it, I'm submitting this crap" stage.

Software engineering project discussion:
Boy: Sir, my project is a client to manage files stored on different cloud file storage systems at one place
Faculty: Boring idea. Very easy to implement, No scope of scalability, etc
Girl: My project is an app to display the weather information
Faculty: Omg! What an innovative idea! I'm surprised how no one though of this before!

My first real web project was in my senior year of college.

It was a hacker rank clone. And supported a bunch of languages. It was a fun project.

Others created a static website.
And guess what? they got the same grade as I did.
Fml

I'm currently reading a course in Project Management and I have yet to find an image in the course literature with a person that doesn't suffers from a headache.

showing unfinished project...

One of the worst thing :
Start a new project...
Have almost done everything...
See that someone else has done the same kind of app but... His is much better...

!rant

Another night of progress :) Finished the category page functionality on my cms project for now. Gotta keep at it!

When you have a "GREAT" idea, start to work on it and after 2 hours you have forgot why you have started the project.

Me right now 😖

Sorry for my bad english 😓

Documenting school project with my debug guy

*receives email about project*

*turns around*

PM: "Hey I just sent you an email about a project"

No. Fucking. Shit.

I'm starting a side project. This time I'm totally gonna finish it. For real. 14th time's the charm, right?

Anybody else know that horrible feeling when you're 2 weeks and 1000 lines of spaghetti into what started as a 2 day 200 line side project that was supposed to make your main project better, but has now become it's own life consuming beast?

As a side project, I've been helping out a friend build a website for free.

friend: I need more of your commitment for this project. We're about to get a huge client!

Me: Yeah you've been saying that for a year. Dude, I just don't have time to waste in projects that are not givine me any money.

friend: HOW DARE YOU! ARE YOU BLACKMAILING ME?!?!

ugh... not my friend anymore

When your project manager calls you more than your girlfriend :|

Saw conjuring 2 yesterday, not impressed. My project has more daemons than the film and they don't go away just by calling their name 😕

Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"

And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"

While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day

smh

Have you ever been in a situation where you want to start a new project, but have no idea what it should be.

I'm the best.
I started a project and 12 hours of work and 16 commits later I decide to reorganize the entire project focusing on security and user experience.

I'm a genius.

when youre in the middle of a project then you suddenly get the urge to write a neural network that can do nlp to find suitable puns.

😩😩😩

Project vs implementation

A project manager is someone who believes that if he/she joins 9 pregnant women they'll have a child in 1 month

OCD and multiple developers on a project never go hand in hand

!rant

Wanted to share a project with you, which I heard about at a Python Conference I attended.

It's a Raspberry based Hacking Station to educate and sensitize students about data privacy. The amazing thing about the project is, that it is a graduation project from a high school student.

If you're interested, check out spypi.ch

This is not an ad or something, I was just amazed by the talk and the idea of the project and wanted to share it with you.

Found this in my Software Project Management textbook. Seems right.

My project manager said. “Hey MillenialDev, I’ll see you as my equal when you have same experience as me”. I resigned following week.

People know that things are getting serious when you open up a new twitter account for your personal project.

*starts to work on a new project while others remain unfinished*
*bulb lights up* oh look a new project idea
*goes on to start on that one instead*

Being a student developer is awkward.

Isn't it great when you start a project with nothing but dedication and enthusiasm to have it ruined by someone that just doesn't care and proceeds to shit on everything you have worked for.

My Project Manager to me, after attending his first ever Hackathon of life

PM : Did you see, how people create a full project in a day,
So it is POSSIBLE and here you always complain about the deadlines

Me : Yeah true :|
Of Course it is possible to create a well documented, bugs free, features enriched, stable and properly structured project in a day
My Bad :/

when a project manager asks for an effort calculation due to changed requirements, but the calculation itself takes longer than the implementation would...

Microsoft Project and SharePoint, I FUCKING HATE YOU TWO!!! Why you can't get along? You share the same creator for fucks sake!!!

Starting new project the old way

1. Send the contract for a new project to the customer
2. They inform you that the project is canceled
...
...
3. Receive the contract signed by the customer
...
4. ???
5. PROFIT

Q: How many management consultants does it take to finish a project specification?
A: Infinite. And this is not even funny.

That moment when you have an idea for a project and you spend all your time on setting up the environment, then your realize it is a stupid idea.

Hey, I'm bored.
someone have suggestion of a good project using raspberry pi?
thanks

Can't work on a project cause I need to study for an exam.
Can't study cause I keep thinking about the project.

FUCK!

My dream project is to create "The Machine" just like Finch did in Person of interest or to create the WestWorld Droids.

Someone needs to make a site that generates cool project names because I swear it's the hardest decision to make.

This is how my Project Manager introduced Design guy to the client
"my buddy, great friend and a kickass coding ninja"

And how he introduced a full stack developer
"he knows coding too"

The fuck :||

The hardest part of starting a new project is finding a name for it!! FFS && FML.
How do you all name your's?

When the project manager is taking your share of the credit..

Group project help me understand why Batman works alone 😡😡😡

Its so frustrating when your co-worker whines about project issues in the washroom :|

Let me fuckin pee first motherfu... :/

Is it even a group project unless you did over 50% of the work?

Fun Story: My first official project was related to system files security. In first meeting project manager was talking about Macros and OLE i had no idea what the heck he was saying.just kept noding
Took us 2 months to complete the project now it has been deployed and working perfectly
Told my manager about this during final one on one meeting and he couldnt believe me,he still laughs about it everytime we meet

Waking up after 4 hours of sleep with a headache because you wanted to finish your project.

So you have an organization that flirts with scrum and wants to be agile. You have non-crossfunctional teams who don't know what agile is. You have product owner who doesn't want to do backlog, but instead acts like project manager and asks for statuses and assigns tasks to peple. He wants the teams to find out what needs to be done and fill the backlog themselves - and then raport to him. You have business owers who noone knows who they are. You have project managers, who don't fit the whole scrum hierarchy. These project managers insist calling scrum masters "team leaders". Also these project managers think scrum is silly and don't want anything to do with it. And then you have higher program management that think this whole scum thing is better than sliced bread and everything is going just dandy!

Oh yeah, also highest organization management thinks that we are on the right track. We just need be more agile but less agile and work more efficiently whitout really saying, what the hell are we supposed to do.

Basically every day is like going to the zoo. Without the fun part.

Me: *working on a project for a year solo*

Management: Let's move development to consultants

Me: I don't think we'll profit from that

Management: Yes let's do it anyways

Me: *switching between project management and working on another project for 6 weeks*

EMERGENCY MEETING

Management: We're not getting enough output

Me: What did I say?

I'm so fucking tired of this project fuckery. Cred to my boss, she's great, but this time they should've just listened to me.

When your Project Manager tries to find Grammar and Spelling errors in your code comments, since he couldn't find any other issues

Are you fuckin kiddin me motherfucker.. :|||

Fuckin grammarShitPMNazi

Just got a new raspberry pi😊
some ideas for first project?

Me: *starts learning new tech stack*
Boss: you do this project right now(will have no relation with the tech stack I'm learning)
Me: boss you told me to learn something else
Boss: I need the project by this week.

Why can't I just enjoy my weekend like a normal person for once? Instead I can't help but work on a side project because I know I won't sleep tonight if I don't!

I will reiterate my goal of 2020 and 2021:

Finish my personal project and bring it to market!

It will happen this year, I swear! 🤣

Yesterday was release day for a project, never been too nervous like I am now, why? Because of the amount of chaos in this project, I cannot predict the behavior of the system, anything might just break T_T

At last !!
All projects are done!

Done 3 compiler project (with 3 separate documentation)
And 6 different Algorithms for algorithm design and analysis.(including my own project)

Been coding so hard to finish them ontime and now I made it :)

That moment when your project manager says to the client "That is clearly possible". After that he asks you if that is in fact possible to do, you say: "is possible with major limitations" and then he understand they screwed up but in the end the one that is screwed up is you.

Yes, thank you motherfucker. Please change the fucking specification again one fucking day before the deadline.

These project managers and clients are like little children who can't decide whether they want a lego set or a video game for christmas except little children don't blame santa for their own stupidity.

Guess what? I'm not santa fucking claus and can't do miracles in one day. It's on you little project manager children if we miss this deadline.

Still working on a new Project!

Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.

me realizing that I will be a part of a crappy project

TL;DR: I'm stressed out over choosing a side project because of the commitment and fear of failure :(

I'm a student and summer vacation starts in 3 days (and actually has already started for me, thanks to a "smartly planned" hospital stay), so I'm currently looking for a cool project to start. This will be my third summer vacation during which I want to make complete a project, and I never actually did it. The first year, I couldn't think of any reasonable, doable project which would be interesting and fitting for the time scope (I was quite new to programming back then, so I probably couldn't have done things that would be interesting to me, an any project that I could've done would just take 20 minutes, cause I wouldn't understand anything more complex). The second time, I chose a project too big with too much new things I had to learn on the go. I actually pushed through for nearly a week, but then I realized that I only completed like 25% in that time, so I lost my motivation, thinking I could never finish it, while not wanting to start a complete new project, because that would've felt like wasting the time I put into my first project. It was still a valuable project and I learned a lot by doing it, but this year I want to actually finish a project; so I'm really stressed out right now trying to come up with a good project.
Usually I have millions of vague ideas in my head, but as soon as it comes to choosing, every single one seems to be the wrong one, or I forget about all of them. Everything that kinda interests me seems way to big and complicated to me, but I sometimes feel like I'm just underestimating my abilities, but on the other hand I have ~25 projects on my hard drive, of which 4 or 5 are finished and most will never be finished. :/
And it's just so overwhelming to choose something like that, because on one hand I really want to do a bigger project that I actually finish, and summer vacation is the only time I have so much time to code, and I love coding, but on the other hand choosing such a project that I will work 2-3 weeks on is too much commitment and also I'm anxious about failing it and never finish it, just abandon a buggy mess. Am I the only one to feel that way, or are you too having problems choosing side problems?

And, I guess if you have any ideas for a suitable project (literally anything, so that I might be exposed to some new ideas), just comment it.

That bad feeling when you leave a project aside for a few weeks and then when you finally decide to continue it you don't understand the code you wrote...
I'm searching a solution for something I already solved once again. FUCK!

When your new project hits the tipping point and begins helping people- priceless.

Me in teacher office : for this course i want create awesome project.

Teacher : ok. I suggest you build something like uber.

Me : o_O

Teacher :I believe you.
you can totally handle it

Me : plzzz...as you lift me up, my fall will become more painful
I don't build it

[Unfortunately, that project was imposed on me and whenever I think of the scale of the project i look like this: ]

Got some really responsible teammates in my University project.
We have split our tasks and everyone is working accordingly.

This seems like a dream!

The shorter the time a project is needed, the more expensive it should be charged

Giving up on a side project

While doing my undergrad, we had to submit a major project in last sem. We were grouped into teams. Spent whole semester doing nothing and near the deadline, a friend bought a project and i just changed the footer. On submission, we had the discussion with the external lecturer who viewed our project and he asked us to write down the number of tables we used in our project in separate paper each. A friend wrote 5 , I wrote 12, and the friend who has bought the project wrote 17. Turns out there were 11 tables. I said someone must have dropped a table.. And later made up saying i was doing the database and others were doing the rest of the project.
It was one of the lamest excuse we made to escape such uncomfortable situation.

"We have a new project for you".

"It's written in Java".

When you have to build a startup product using enterprise project management methodologies, and corporate practices.

R.I.P Agile

After my winter examination session I am going to start the biggest Android project in my life. If I promote it properly, you will hear about me in the future 😏

Sometimes you have to deal with the fact that you're smarter than your project manager.

Huh? GitHub just added an empty column to my project with an empty item I can't remove, reloading doesn't fix it.

( ་ − ་ ) 'You can't see this item'

while (true) {
echo("Oh, I have an awesome idea for a project");
beginProject();
}

Wish my 3 project managers would realize when everything is a P1, nothing is.

That sweet feeling when the project is over and you can finally close all the 99+ tabs on the browser.
Feeling so happy right now! :)

Tmw your side project makes it to the front page of HackerNews and then to the top 😃

This is really nice positive reinforcement 😅

So does every project manager pretend to know how coding is done? 🤷‍♂️

Just spent 3 hours porting pong to a micro:bit for a school project. what am I doing with my life

Am I the only one who is working on a different project every day? And they're not small projects. All medium sized e-commerce sites (Magento 1&2) with tons of custom made functionality.

Soooo counter productive...

For some reason our PM's think it's the most efficient way to do it this way, even though we said numerous times it causes the opposite result. Having to switch to a different project every day and constantly picking up where you left a week ago is so frustrating...

When your project manager pisses you off so much, you could punch a baby or drown a puppy....

Hey devs,
I'm really bad at personal project idea generation.

So, do you have any good Python project ideas?

PS. Wanna light up my github chart again.
(aaand to put it in my CV of course)

Spending the friday evening with a hobby project and beer. Lovely :)

What kind of project sizes do you prefer and why? Big one, lasting year(s), or smaller ones, in range of months?

Can't someone just write some sort of Programm that gets project adjectives as input and outputs some nice project names. That would be super awesome. How do you create your project names?

Does anybody has an idea what to "code" when you have too much free time? I am done with school and waiting for my university acceptance. No Websites.

TL;DR
Project ideas?

You guys ever have to explain whole project to another employee because you are the only one that know and worked on this project.
Worst thing is that guy is not even a programmer and I have to teach him c# first 😤 I'm soo angry

Worked on an old private side project and fixed several issues on GitHub there. Nice feeling :-)

Please god!! Let me finish this side project 😢😢

when the project manager asks you if you have an ETA on the project you're trying to finish because deadline is a few hours. You have never done the thing you're trying to complete before so you have no baseline for it and they know that.... nope but you'll be the 2nd person to know when it's done, maybe next time don't promise deadlines without consulting the devs?

If you are the lead developer on a big project, and you want your developers to not hate everything about this project, for the love of God please at least have a build server (it doesn't even have to run tests) and make sure your constant screwing around with Maven doesn't break the build for everyone else.

When working on a schoolproject I actually managed to do loads of work in a night when I was mad drunk.

Two days later I met with the project group again at school and I remembered I did something with the project, but had not the slightest idea anymore.

My project group showed up all excited that a lot of bugs were resolvee and we finally had something really nice working in the frontend thanks to me. It was a similar feeling to waking up when your arm/hand is numb and on your face and you have no clue whats going on, at first youre scared and later it was a damn cool experience.

A colleague of mine had a 'great idea' and started a crowdfunding project on kickstarter;
A microblogging application to host on your own server. The max amount of characters per message was 140.
The prototype was even built on bootstrap!
Such a original idea!!

Rant

I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!

I've worked today till 4am.

Guess who's working from home in the morning!

Gotta love that 'side project' 😆

Probably joining my first real project. Truly no amount of university education can prepare you for the sheer scale and complexity of an enterprise software project. 100+ git repos, 5 different services running just to run the project locally, with tunnels open to 2 different DBs. It was daunting to touch anything.

My project is like...

"Everyday is Production Day"

Simple ANTLR project for compiler class accepted .

Easy money
(btw I had no idea about what antlr was , so i googled everything :D)

My new project is not getting popular... I'm sad because I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and creating it and it's bothersome that it isn't appreciated.

I am going to rant about this here because there is nowhere else where I can "SCREAM".

My work process....

Working on a project that does not have mockups nor a plan. I am building as I go. Design, infrastructure, EVERYTHING. Because my boss is a "genius".

And the project goes like this....

1. Boss tells me to build something.
2. I tell him the functionalities and design.
3. Boss, "Figure out yourself and we will see how it goes".
4. Me, Builds something.
5. Boss does not like it and demands changes.
6. I make the changes.
7. Repeat.

1 year and a half for one project that is a simple e-commerce. Show the products, a search functionality, users sign in and can order and show their orders.

A simple page in which does not take time, but without a plan, without A FUCKING PLAN this project will go on forever.

I am losing my mind. I put on test and tell my boss to test it for bugs. He demands a meeting and tells me, "we need to add this".

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE. TEST THE SITE FOR BUGS YOU FUCKING USELESS THING. I WILL FIX THE BUGS AND THEN WE WILL TALK FOR NEW MODULES.

I am doing documentation, database infrastructure, front-end, back-end, testing (because my boss cannot do it. It took him 2 week to start testing for some things after asking him every fucking day "Did you test it", "Did you test it").

Maintaining out CRM for bugs and new modules and maintaining our company's website.

When you are hearing your consciousness that you should start doing your personal project before someone else does that.

The best way to learn something imo is starting a project
I used to start small projects for that but now im doing my biggest project with laravel now its 90% done

When a new feature is added at the middle of the project...

Actual question: Tell me which project management software you use and what you hate about it. What do you like about it, if anything?

Just worked for 5 hours on a project... i hope i don't fuck it up

Today, for a feature that doesn't need to be released at all, we had to choose between delivering 2 months later so we could pay the technical debt, or release on time with even more technical debt, and 96% sure this will kill the project.

Guess what?

Myself dealing with Project Managers. I am the ball btw...

Can anyone suggest me a cool Machine learning project for my college project?
I need something that is fun and cool.

I'm setting up an project at work. Takes me until now 2 days and there are dozens of undocumented things I couldn't know.

It's an total brainfuck of product. Most of it could be automated and be less error prone.

How can people do that? Don't they hate to do it too? I cannot understand why they didn't change anything there for years.

When you're not doing anything until 4pm then suddenly project manager give a task to finish until 5..

I had to choose a subject for a math project. So I selected encryption (elliptic curve). I decided to make an interactive demo website. First time working with node, websockets, large numbers and latex. Most fun project I ever did. I am still proud on the result and how fast I did it (~3 weeks)

Here to represent project managers.
Who was saying what about us?!

Talk now or forever hold your peace!

The typical university project as a group:

- Discuss/Make somebody create the items in Jira: 2 days
- Implementation: 2 hours
- Tests: What are tests? Do I write them in my main method?
- Review/Someone sees the code: 9 hours
- Staging/Production: No one is ever going to use the "software"

After a deep day my wife and I came up with our project for steady income to allow me quit work for the first 2 years after the baby is born.

What was your first big project after learning a programming/markup language?

End of personal project with only single commit!

Any summer project ideas to step-up my programming skills? I'm bored but also not very creative when it comes to projects.

When one PM hands you off to another PM and neither has any idea about the project I am supposed to be working on...nor do I have access to the Trello boards, the repos, etc...

Happy Monday 🤦‍♂️

Just done with The Phoenix Project. Amazing book, I got if as an ebook. Wouldn’t mind more books similar to that style

You know your life is fucking with you, when you need to start your college project from square-fucking-one again, for the forth time & looking through devRant isn't improving your mood. 😐

Team of 5 post-grad students working on a single big project for final grade. Been working on this project since last 3 months. 2 of the memebers of my team doens't even know what we are building and we have to present it in 2 weeks, their contribution is less than 5%. How do people not think that its a project for all of us to do and its fucking 30 credits when the course itself is 90. The professors have asked us to give feedback for each member privately and i dont want to give negative feedback about them as they will lose way too many points for it.

From my recent experience, I observed that a flow of money should be there, else the project will never get complete. Is it true?

Project Manager: "You have until x date, but how far off are you from finishing"

Me: "How long is it until x date, there is your answer"

Coding is so fun, I'll stick a project manager in there and fuck some shit up.

Joining a project in the middle and everyone starts looking up to you, cause when you manager introduced you to the whole team he said we have an expert with us😏

Basically, going to an IT school and being the only one who actually knew how to program, every group project was a nightmare, now at university I don't have any group projects luckilly

That moment when two project manager want to put you full time on two different projects

Do you guys know any tool for documentation in a private side project with two guys?

If I combine all my unfinished project, it would be my first personal finished product.

My best experience this year was to be the project manager of a software project and my worst experience was to work alone on this project.

Worse than an incompetent colleague who can't help me fix technical issues is a demanding, confusing, beat around the bush, boss as a project director.

Project Manager is away and Project Director steps in to take over. Starts barking orders and when I try to actively contribute positively to get the project going, he stops at me, barks that I was asking the wrong questions or doing the wrong tasks. This isn't my first project rodeo. I have had plenty of project experience under my belt but he belittles me. I know what needs done and get the project done and over with.

I guess I know what I'll do. Avoid proactively contribute and just hang back until I get orders on what to do. Because fuck progress. Or until I hear more from my original Project Manager.

I have nightmares about the new project already....