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- What is exactly your job
-- I am a developer
- So, what does it mean exactly?
-- I create software, applications like those you use on your phone and PC
- So you can create phones and PCs?
-- No it is not that :|
- Can you fix my Laptop?
-- here we go8 -
I have my reasons that Socrates once tried to understand how Docker works, because I have exactly the same feelings.
7 -
Facebook made my day: "Your email and resume say Unix-like systems, which is not exactly Unix."
Source: http://imgur.com/hw2pnDt16 -
They know exactly what I do, both my parents and my sister.
Then again, they use Linux as main system although they're very a-technical ;)11 -
Yeah. Exactly. Its the year 2718. Humanity was destroyed by a deadly virus. The only thing that's left is A GIGBAYTE MAINBOARD.
6 -
Me: What do you want?
Client: We don't know exactly
Me: By when do you want it?
Client: Yesterday
🙊🙉🙈7 -
This is exactly what happens when your client ask for something impossible you you still have to find a hack
13 -
Just hit 500, exactly at my birthday!
DevRant is the most amazing community I've used to belong to. You guys are awesome!16 -
!rant
Just found out that the year 2038 problem fires exactly on my 42nd birthday.
I didn't choose to be developer, it was destiny...5 -
I can add two-factor authentication to GitHub, but my online banking password must have EXACTLY 5 characters...14
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When you remember code from last night in the middle of your day and you know exactly where you fucked up.3
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Customer: How much costs custom developed software?
Me: How much costs a car?
Customer: Depends on which car...
Me: Exactly.1 -
THEY'RE ALL EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME BUT UNDER DIFFERENT ACCOUNTS ARE YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING WITH ME RN
9 -
Password max length: 12 characters
Additional requirements: exactly 1 special character and exactly 2 numbers.8 -
When the clients wants to talk to your manager and your manager tells him exactly the same thing you did.
-
"I want it looking and working exactly the same in IE6, IE7, IE8, IE9, Chrome, Safari and Mobile...."
Oh wait, that happened...9 -
I forgot to git fetch, so I spent quite a while doing exactly WHAT MY TEAMMATE HAD DONE JUST HOURS AGO3
-
As a developer, always expect the unexpected! Except when deploing to production on friday afternoons, then you know exactly what to expect.1
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Spent the last 15 minutes trying to extract the relative URL from location.href, until I found out that location.pathname does exactly that 😐1
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"Delete node_modules folder and execute npm install" is the js version for "reboot the machine". Often works, but no one knows exactly why.3
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Exactly, this meme is so relatable!
I was working with MPAndroidChart (Charting Lib), most of the working functions are deprecated! And new ones are not working
-
Not letting Google (overtly) use your data has its drawbacks.
For example, lately I've been getting senior dating ads in my Gmail app.
I mean really, Google, I know you know I'm 30 and married; who's kidding who?1 -
YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING HATE.
THE IPHONE'S DEFAULT WEB BROWSER, SAFARI
"OH YOU WANTED THIS TO BE EXACTLY HEIGHT:100VH? HERE'S A FUCKING SCROLLBAR."9 -
Look to your left, then look to your right...
All of those devs started out exactly as you are doing now!7 -
Found three questions on different websites, each describing exactly the problem I'm having right now. Neither one of them has a solution... FUCK.4
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"Hey, this Chrome autofill feature is so helpful and does exactly what I expect" - said no one ever.4
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Client: I want my site to look exactly like the design.
Me: Of course, but I'm assuming you want it responsive...
Client: yes, I want it to look exactly like the design on all devices.
Me: but that's not how...
Project manager: of course the site will be fully responsive and look exactly the same on all devices.
Me: but...fine.
1 week later...
Project manager: The site looks horrible on mobile!
Me: it matches the design perfectly...3 -
Designers that continually use non-webfonts, KNOWINGLY, and then get pissy when the site doesn't look EXACTLY like the concept.11
-
Great error message. Now I know EXACTLY what to do in order to fix it. Thank you all over the place, Microsoft.
3 -
In my view, there is exactly 1, very specific occasion, when hybrid / app wrappers / webviews etc. are the right approach for a mobile app.
1. Never8 -
Maan. In exactly 57 minutes, I'm having a technical screen with a Microsoft interviewer. Oh shuks. Fuuuuuk! ( Vent with me )😌😝5
-
"I know that we don't exactly have the strongest reputation on privacy right now to put it lightly "
- Mark Zuckerberg @ F8
Hilarious2 -
Found good startup idea, thinking about it few days and almost planning, one day i searched similar products from google and found exactly my product10
-
Firefox Quantum! So fast, so great, amazing, the best.
..
..
Open with 2 tabs, Slack and YouTube homepage). Whats been rewritten exactly?
5 -
When that script I wrote for a Minecraft mod to emulate the behaviour of another Minecraft mod behaved exactly like the imitated mod6
-
Just checked my laptop uptime and it's been on one charge for exactly 1 month, with average use and aggressive tlp/powertop settings 😰18
-
When people ask me:
- Why doesn't it work?
I catch myself often responding like this:
- How exactly it doesn't work?2 -
At the end of each day, work out exactly what you need to do next, and then...
...don't do it. Seriously. Make a note of it, save it, then walk away. Then you know *exactly* what you're getting started with the next day, and by the time you've done that you're in the swing of things. (Especially helpful if you're not a morning person like me. Much, much easier to get started if you know exactly what you're doing.) -
Why is it that every library has some kind of an "example", but every time I need a more complex one, there are exactly zero6
-
me on my cover letter: i'm an experienced programmer
me irl: knows exactly two languages, has to google how to write basic methods2 -
docker
Having exactly the same shit running on my own machine as in production makes life so much easier.2 -
Friend learning typescript: JavaScript is easy, you do exactly opposite of what you did in java. Typescript is a half baked mess.
-
AI while recruiting
"Hey we see you are a full stack dev on your profile, but why are you here exactly ?"
1 -
That guy who thinks he know exactly what I'm doing better than me... Oh, you meant a different type of tool.
-
Although Web design/development isn't exactly computer programming, I can't look at websites without judging them for how they look.
-
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming1
-
Not exactly new, but just so it does not get forgotten:
FUCK ECLIPSE.
Fuck that stupid piece of shit IDE and everything related to it.8 -
Now what exactly do I do with this error code. Windows sometimes sucks at showing proper errors :/
2 -
Ah the classic "Grau Dunkel 70". I know exactly what hex code that is. Thanks, design team!
Fuck you.8 -
People filming fn fireworks with their goddamn phones is exactly why we should invent proper EMP device4
-
Isn't block chain basically something like git where people take turns pushing? What exactly is the breakthrough?4
-
The ability to remember exactly where I was in the code and what I was thinking when I come back to it.2
-
Just discovered Insomnia Designer, I freaking love it and it's git integration. This is exactly what we developers needed for years 🥳10
-
Maybe not exactly what would happen, but not wrong either. At the end of the day, these two fields are different.
6 -
How do you explain to your family exactly what a programmer does all day? Like they think our job is no big deal sometimes...9
-
char *screw={'1','2'};
char **This={screw+1,screw+2}
char ***Shit=This
printf("%s ", *--*++Shit+1);
Exactly
4 -
smh.
Why hire a Native iOS Developer when you're going to let him develop an iOS app to look EXACTLY like its Android counterpart?
There's hybrid and cordova for that if you want your apps to look and feel exactly the same.
Can't we all just agree to appreciate the distinct differences in UI for both platforms? Navigation especially? Copy context not UI. -
Exactly when I do NOT need to be doing updates because system stability is critical to meeting deadlines, suddenly...
5 -
Not exactly a data loss, but on server hosting almost all of clients' websites.
$ crontab -e
Except finger slipped and it became -r. *facepalm*1 -
Hi. I'm new here and liking it.
My rant today: Lofty business guy tells my small dev team that he knows exactly how everything should look and work because he knows exactly what users want out of the webapp experience.... goes on to tell us to make an editable, side-scrolling table that is also mobile-friendly, for users to manually input a ton of data.... -
Costumers always ask from devs "What will be the price?" before they exactly understand what they want...
-
Not fun, exactly, but trying to convert a Wordpress site into GatsbyJS to speed up the godawful site of an organization I just joined.2
-
Watch Anime! Not exactly to motivate myself to code but to give a break for some time(eventually getting motivation back after some time) 🇯🇵
3 -
I found someone commenting on some store location on Google maps:
- Where is its place exactly?
dude! you're commenting on ITS PLACE.1 -
Man, I love it when clients aren't specific enough and then get angry because you didn't do EXACTLY as they pictured it. :)
-
Really irritating when you work with a windows shitty laptop dual booted with ubuntu and the computer starts fucking up exactly when it shouldn't..5
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Somewhere out there, a middle manager looked at SAP's time tracking tool and thought, "This, yes, this is exactly what we need in our organisation"1
-
Seriously,
when a company asks to recruit a developer, but only female developer for a regular post.
What IS exactly the work to do? 🤔11 -
Exactly my point regarding rust. Marvel was found by jestdottehh btw. I'm sure this one wasn't posted or well known yet
10 -
To instantly know *exactly* what caused a compiler or runtime error and *exactly* how to fix it in the best possible way, every single time.2
-
Ever have an issue you easily know how to fix while still having exactly 0 patience for it on a monday morning
3 -
I've been writing various forms of OOP for three years and just now learned exactly what static means
-
"Warning: install_driver.exe couldn't be copied." *clicks on ignore* "Driver successfully installed."... Windows, why have I expected exactly that? Occured while installing OnePlus smartphone drivers.1
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In Russian, phrases “the prophet was sweeping” and “about rock music with metal music” sound exactly the same. They’re even written exactly the same, but the latter literally has two more spaces and that’s it.8
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After disabling windows firewall, my internet connection got congested. Enabling it again resolved the issue. What exactly does "wall" mean to you Microsoft?!1
-
Cost explorer also have a "cost"... What exactly do i need to see before running away. Fucking tired of these shits! (－‸ლ)
15 -
A feature request -
Autocomplete suggestions when tagging someone.
It makes it so annoying to tag someone exactly how they spell their username. -
Came across a player called Root in Overwatch today, would that be you, @Root, by any chance? It's not exactly a common name.6
-
When you deliver exactly what the client asked for, but they still ask for their money back claiming you didn't.
-
What is a life form?
How exactly a life started on earth? Was it brought from outer space?
Are there any life forms there out of earth?
Can a life form be based not on protein but on some other chemicals?
How exactly the very first life form of the universe was created?
Can digital things be life forms?
Can ideas and concepts be life forms? Can they exists without a medium? If so, where exactly are they stored?
Can we create living things?
Those questions are keeping me up at night16 -
Kidney failure feels EXACTLY like getting dangerously overheated & dehydrated while being seasick.3
-
Really cool website letting you re-live the first moon landing of Apollo 11 which happened exactly 50 years ago - https://apolloinrealtime.org/11/
#nasa2 -
Yessss, you can block people on DevRant! Thank you DevRant!
By the way, what exactly happens when you block someone?9 -
Frameworks piss me off... So many to out there that are over engineered and complicated... And achieve exactly the same fucking thing...2
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when CTO says we need to start writing exactly how long we worked on specific project and explain what exactly we did in that time.
I don't wanna keep track of my every minute spent..
I did not sign up for this sh!t...3 -
IDK exactly, probably just other people talking about interesting things...
Or even just tits on instagram :(
I can't help myself2 -
The worst part about being a Dev is explaining what exactly that you do to your distant relative who knows nothing about computers 😑
-
Exactly 2 days before I change my username to something new. See you guys later! I hope someone remembers me :)
Changing to thatGuyWithLinux9 -
Could someone sum up the events around Linux and Linus? I read a few articles but I am still kinda confused what exactly has happened.10
-
Project/Middleware/APIs website about section- Writes a lot of things which is hard to get for many, than explaining exactly what it does
-
Android: Gboard has stopped
Close app
Send feedback
(ok, try again, same thing)
presses "send feedback" - O_o and how exactly do I type now?4 -
Love when code doesn't work so you take a break, come back and clear it and retype exactly what you just had and it works.
-
Two reviewers two comments on the same content, both comments conflict with each other and I'm required to apply both, how exactly?2
-
Does anyone know any algorithms for generating crop circles?
I would Google it but "crop circle codes" doesn't exactly give me what i want.13 -
I need your help... This is my 11 year olds math homework, one of the questions anyway... I cannot work it out.
Mrs choy spent exactly £10 on exactly 100 eggs.
Large eggs cost 50p
Medium eggs cost 10p
Small eggs cost 5p
For two of the sizes, she bought the same number of eggs.
How many of each size did she buy18 -
The problem with 10:30 pm is that it comes exactly one minute before 2:30 am if you are not careful !2
-
Fuck yeah!!! Finally found Mate! 😎
Well, not exactly dev related... Meh, whoami kidding, coding without Mate is nigh impossible 😁
5 -
Did you make your avatar look exactly like you or you played changing things on it?
(Like adding tattoos you don't have or anything like it.)5 -
When you get an assignment by mail,
- you do those changes exactly as being asked, albeit one insignificant extra visual thing,
- you send back exactly what's changed (which is exactly what was being asked, but naming things as they are, clearer than I can ever explain changes),
- you go to the person that has assigned the very thing, explain it, he seems to get it,
...
Then.. a few hours later.. you get a reply via mail:
"Come explain what you're saying here, because I don't get it."
🤨 -
Perfect standard luggage for the standard-loving dev. There's nothing more pleasing than everyone having EXACTLY what everyone else has...
2 -
Conversation with fellow dev this morning:
Him: What are the chances of putting an API for this in to staging?
Me: I'm working on it now.
Him: Good stuff, so if I check this other one, it should go through?
Me: Yes, it should.
Him: I'll test it now, because "should" === "shudder"
Me: "should" == "shudder", but "should" !== "shudder" 😉
Him: Shud up 😆 -
I remember when fashion looked like this. But now… what happened? Since when exactly did people turn into living billboards for overpriced brands?
4 -
Give management report of how many hours exactly I've spent on stuff daily. (In Excel sheet).
Why? I think it's obvious that no one can tell exactly how much you've spent on particular stuff.
NOTE: I know it's not that bad but still, meh..... -
Pushed some code last night. Can't remember exactly how I wrote my changelog. I think it was coherent? Checked DevRant first.
-
Yesterday: I know exactly how to model this problem.
Today: WTF was I thinking?
Tomorrow: I know exactly how to model this problem. -
Windows 10 died. Beyond restore. Beyond system reset. It has been exactly 6 months and 2 days. Thank God I have fucking Ubuntu double boot...
-
When a colleague reads the clean code book but the writes code that's exactly the opposite ..... Yeah, hmmmm
-
There are exactly zero developer driven features in osx, sans the terminal. Can anyone disagree? It is the least developer friendly os there is.1
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When Spring Security protects exactly the opposite of what you think you asked ... But you don't know why...
-
When the documentation consists only out of JavaDoc boilerplate, providing exactly NO additional information and just clutters the code.
-
This is not exactly a rant but would one implement a wsiwyg html editor in javafx with drag and drop?4
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For those that toggles on:
* Dark mode
* Privacy screen
* DND
* Silent mode
* Disappearing Messages
* Turned off Read receipts
What exactly is your problem?5 -
What do you do when clients are not able to specify what they exactly want? Do we present them with one or more possible solutions?5
-
Does no one understsnd the work "exactly"?
"I need to see some of the elements on this page" is not exact. -
How exactly can you protect your website from sql injections and ddos? The website used php and a mysql database.4
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Ok guess my last post wasnt exactly appropriate... Guess im just happy to be back home and can code my own apps again.
-
What is Payday Loan? How Do Payday Loans Work?
In this post, we'll discuss what exactly a payday loan is, the payday loan application process, and understanding how exactly payday loans work.
1
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