Customer: how will this heading look in bold?
Me: Hold a sec, I will show you *opens developer tools in chrome and increments font-weight*
Customer: NO NO NO, undo this. I don't want you to mess up my website.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Came home to visit parents
Dad - Internet on my laptop isn't working (I switched him on a Ubuntu platform because he picked up a hobby of mining for viruses while doing..... "research" )
Me - did you mess with your networking settings again
Dad - (Defensible sounding) Noou
Me - (looking at settings, networking is switched off)
Me circa 3am - writing a python script to check for this automatically cos fml this is basic
Thanks for listening

Today I am cleaning up this mess

"But I don't know where to start..."

"... just start typing, be willing to mess up, and if you get lost just start over with better understanding from messing up. Eventually it'll work."

When the interns mess up big time, good orgs support them. 😭💙

Client wants PHP 7.2. I install PHP 7.1 by accident.

Client complains that I don't respond fast enough after 30 minutes (!).
I was in an appointment. I check the ticket. He messed up his entire server by trying to install PHP 7.2 himself because he couldn't wait half an hour longer. We always aim at 4 hours response time, and we hit it with every reply..

I apologize and tell him the costs for me fixing his mess. The client: "if it feels right for you to charge me because you never did your work right, do it."

Some people. How? HOW???

In my college days i was designing a bootloader for avr microcontroller , i had the idea to flash code wirelessly to avr over bluetooth and also cross compile the compiler for android device so that you can code on android, every thing went well just one thing didn't, i saw that code of certain size is executing properly , greater than that size gives me wired outputs so i have to dump hex from the avr (that is flashed the by bootloader) and compaire it with the original hex of code it got messy as you can see, most fun part of this bug is that error can be anywhere cross compiler may be fucked up , the bootloader may be fucked up , or it may be my bluetooth module , after 14 hours of staring at the hex code i figured out the mess in bootloader instruction that was changing the page address for flashing .

when it worked it was 3am in night i literally burst into tears of joy next day bought myself a cake to celebrate

There is a group of ladies who work in the accounting department at my job who have made it their mission to decorate the cubicle of whoever has a birthday on a given day. They come in at 6 am on someones birthday and decorate, leaving a mess of balloons and streamers, which is a nice surprise the first time it happens (they do it every year). Well, we in the IT office decided it would be fun to booby trap one of our cubicles so that when our birthday rolled in, they would receive a surprise of their own. So we set up a webcam as a motion detector, and had the computer speakers turned up as loud as possible, so that when motion was detected, the honorable Admiral Akbar would yell "It's A Trap!". We succeeded in scaring the pants off of them, and also annoying them because the sound did not stop until the program was exited, so they had to listen to it the entire time they did their setup. It was priceless xD

Worst disturbance while working?

Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.

Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."

Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.

I read a story about a guy from Greece who wants to delete his gender from his id and my first thought was how many 20 year-old government database schemas that is going to mess up.

Does anyone else mess up in real life and think CTRL-Z

I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.

I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!

Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.

A guy asked me today after we were having a chat about bad programmers at his work place:

Guy: "What do bad programmers move to after they constantly mess up and get stuck on tasks?"

Me: "Management!"

Do NOT build something as fast as possible. You are going to end up spending more time trying to refactor the mess than youd have spent drawing a class diagram.

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welp. Time to mess with a new distro
*sudo rm -rf /*

*looks at screen* I forgot to back up my db's :|

Ok you fucks that don't believe in documentation - me included.

Document your shit, because one day, one day some dumb fuck is going to have to recreate your over engineered bullshit of a system and scale it up.

What would fucking be useful right now is ANY god forsaken insight into what in the flying fuck your code is doing, or not doing, or why it makes queries to a database with no fucking records in it 🤦‍♂️ and then attempts to use that data... in case it did exist.

There's nothing like unpicking a mess of bullshit, and documenting it, and then have to remake it on a new platform.

Documention saves lives kids, maybe your own life one day😬

That feeling you get when you run

$ php tvVolUp.php

And the god damn tv’s volume goes up a level 😆

Now to clean the shit out of the chaotic mess I just made and make it work from a Rpi which I’ll then add to my voice activated list for my google home.

Coz you know voice activated TV remote in PHP 😍

One team was delivering for 12 months.

... but definition of done not met. Code crap everywhere. Tests barely there and are total mess.

I inherited mess after previous lead engineer.

I exposed all the issues to the management in a straight way, no sugar coating.

... and now guess who's the bad guy for "complaining" instead of shut up and "making it work"?

P.s.
"Giving accurate report about situation" is seen as "complaining".

When you remember code from last night in the middle of your day and you know exactly where you fucked up.

When you modify some config files, don't make back ups and mess up:

Every time I mess up my git branch I usually find that its pretty futile to fix it with fancy commands like 'git reset', 'git prune', 'git rebase', etc. I usually find it easier to just start over from scratch.

They should really add a command for that

'git fuck-it-start-over'

"Unless it's the big red button with launch codes, there are no buttons you can press that I can't unpress"
Translation: you have to TRY to mess up so bad it's beyond repair.

Interviewer: Here is the interview challenge. Tell me what the expected output is. You have 5 minutes.

** 100 line class with 4 async methods that contain if/thens nested 4 layers deep that call each other and log things to the console

Dev: Ok wow this is a bit of a maze to work through but I’ll try my best.

** 1 minute later of reading through the code

Interviewer: One minute has elapsed. There is now 4 minutes remaining.

Dev: Actually could you please not interject with time updates like that while I’m reading code? It makes the challenge harder than necessary. Just letting me know when the time is up would be fine.

Interviewer: Ok.

** ~2 minutes later trying to comb through this spaghetti mess

Interviewer: What do you think are you getting close to figuring it out?

Dev: …

You know what? Fuck it. Git CLI. Hot take.

Question is "least favorite". Not "worst". Not "least important".

Git is great, essential, fantastic, whatever. But I hate interacting with the CLI. I can never remember the stupid fucking commands, I always mess shit up if I need to do something outside of my normal workflow, and honestly, usually the correct way of doing shit looks fucked.

So fuck git CLI and its learning curve

teacher - gives a lecture about Java Naming Conventions...

Opens Notepad, ( he doesn't use an IDE, when I asked him he told he haven't worked on a IDE before )

and does this

public int user_account_number;

me - *wtf*

thanks God he didn't mess up with the braces and indentation otherwise I would have got eye cancer( already the white theme of notepad was causing nausea)

The year was 2021 and we have to implement X
Alice, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous company. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale
Alice: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Alice: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...

Then 2022 came, Alice was promoted thanks to the incredible leadership to deliver X, I joined a different project, a part of this project is to implement Y, similar to X.
Bob, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous project. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale, you can ask Alice if you want.
Bob: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Bob: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...

It's 2023 now, Bob got promoted thanks to the awesome leadership to roll out Y, I joined another project, which requires us to develop Z, similar to X and Y.
Chris, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: ah shit here we go again...

DEVS THAT MANUALLY UPDATE AUTOGENERATED CODE ARE THE WORST!!!!

Guess who has to clean up your mess? And be pinged about it later when another dev thinks they wrote the feature??

No, your hack wasn't cool.

So I host a few mining pools and some of the stories we hear from miners can be quite interesting. One of our miners recently had his front door busted off the hinges and a drug bust team go into his house and turn the house upside down. How did they determine that he was a threat for growing illegal drugs? Well he had a high power bill because of the miners and he grows flowers and food inside of his house and that was enough for THE NYPD to get a warrant.

Now he is responsible for cleaning up the mess the police made. What scares me the most is that they are tracking soil you buy online along with high power bills. What the hell USA im a proud Canadian

I put both my username and password as "incorrect". So that everytime i mess up, my computer reminds me that my login is incorrect!

My current boss' boss. Dude has my back, no questions asked. If I mess up, he backs me up to the customer and then teaches me the right way behind the scenes. Even stands up for me when i'm not around.

He's helped me change my lifestyle, too, connecting me with trainers and coaches who can help develop a workout plan around my one hand. He understands the value of work/life balance, but has no power to change our schedule, so he helps out however he can around that.

He is honestly #bossgoals. I want to be like him when i'm a boss

Our professor once asked us to 'mess up' the functionality of a PHP script with one shell command for fun. People tried different things like occupying the port, messing with access rights etc.

My friend just wrote a 'sed' command to replace all the underscores with an empty space...😂

It goes without saying that he stole the show.

Okay so here are a few lessons that I have learned from being an intern to a junior developer (who’s just 2 years out of college).
- every ninja engineer starts off as a noob. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you don’t know “everything” about coding
- Respect everyone’s opinion (including the one that shouts your design is crap in a meeting). Don’t process them too much.
- leave things that happen at work, in the workplace
- Keep yourself up to date even after you’ve bagged the 100,000$ offer. Never.stop.learning.
- Be polite to your interns (been there). They look up to you and treat their juniors the way you treat them.
- Be honest. Including your tiny scrum updates. If you need more time, tell it. If you’ve screwed up something , own it up.
- Never blame or point fingers.
- Nothing is irreversible.(except things like sudo rm -rf/)
- There’s always a way out(of any mess).
- Respect what came before.
- Respect what comes after (before you push badly written code)
- It’s ok to point out mistakes but Be kind. (Else you’ll end up in someone else’s rant ;-) )

Waking up after a drinking night and rushing to your computer to make sure you didn't mess around with your projects 😨

If you see someone ranting about a colleague who made a semi-major fuckup which was not recognised during dev and stage testing and made it to production where it was discovered three days after deployment just when he went on holiday, well, that colleague was me.

My friend was approached by a client who insisted that his website should be in WordPress to facilitate future maintainability.

That's how y'all end up having to maintain those awful pieces of mess. Blame the client, not the developer.

"It's just a tiny change in one function. What can go wrong? I don't need to test, I'm not that stupid to mess this up". Apparently I am. Pushed the changes, and the [Firefox] extension basically stopped working. Lost about 1.5k users in 2 days. Good times ;)

This is what I get for wanting to try Arch Linux again.... I even followed a guide so that I don't mess up. 😑 Fuck you Arch Linux and your complicatedness. And fuck you too brain for being Arch Linux dumb.

Why in the flying motherfuck can't people remember the fact that other people might have to read their code?! If you're not gonna name things properly, and mess everything up with utterly useless and garbage comments (all comments are useless and garbage), then the least you can do is fucking format and indent it properly!! GAWD FAKKIN' DAMNIT!!

How often do you guys mess up things you do regularly?

The only reason I browse incognito is because I don't want Google to mess up my search results. Otherwise I don't care about my browsing history. Anybody else does it for the same reason?

:Junior> man, i saw a little bug here. lemme fix it.
:Teamlead> (*hmm, nothing wrong should happen*) well, k, try not to mess everything up
:Junior> yeah, yeah, i know

*1.5h later*

:Teamlead> *opened github* ...?

I make a typo in the username
"username doesn't exist"
I fix the typo and mess up the password
"incorrect password"

... I smell a potential exploit here...

I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh

A coworker that is producing incredibly bad code and refuses to learn new stuff was declared "senior developer" by my boss. And me with over 20y experience? I am just a junior.. and have to clean up his mess all the time. I guess it is time to find new job.

Fuck I wish designers learnt colour theory before presenting me with a light colour to go on a white background. Like fuck? It’s not even grey at least.

And the complimentary colours are so shit I think I’ll go throw up after an Indian dinner and colour pick from that mess instead. (I like Indian food ok...)

How hard is it to go, NOPE that’s a shit colour we probably shouldn’t use that????

A) Create something that works, is fast, minimum bugs, have edge cases covered, nice testes, clean code. Cool, you did your job. END.

B) Create something shitty with bugs, performance issues, non or poor test coverage, mess code, etc. Cool, you did you job. But...

Next week you reduced bugs by 50%. Wow, you're rockstar.

Another week you improved performance by 15%. Again, you're the hero.

2 weeks later, you reached 85% test coverage. Management is so happy that almost got orgasm.

"A" took 3 months, "B" took 3 months plus few months of fixes. The only time where B was winning was first 4 weeks, where A was carefully building it's architecture and quality.

Yet B is seemed more successful.

This industry is F****d Up beyond my understanding.

My life was total mess up before this I.e.
Break
Return from death door
Drop in education
Financial unstable
Literally 1.5-2years was worst.

From last 3-5 months
I gave up FB(personal account ,I need it for digital marketing)

Unfollow every entertainment page from Instagram

Join Twitter
Increase activity in devrant

Subscribe to development related content in reddit
New YouTube channel just for learning purpose (never search songs and other stuff on it)

Start reading books like zero to one,think and grow rich....

Biography's of great people's like
Steve jobs
Elon Musk
Shivaji Maharaj

And many more

Stop chatting on stupid topics (hot girls,....)

Attained meditation camp
Start meditation (Vipassana)

Life feels more sorted

Thanks everyone

I was never really fond of 2FA, mostly due to the pain in the ass it creates if you lose or can’t access the 2nd device or jumping between GAuth to access Password Manager to access a password to use a login 😱.

But when your phone prompts up with a “allow some Asian, access to you’re iCloud account” you feel a world of relief that you have:

1) a notification you’re account is no longer secure,

And,

2) an immediate ability to change passwords before any access is granted.

Now it’s 1 more password I no longer know due to it being a scrambled mess of characters.

PS: Fuck you, you low life shithead!

My mom's laptop is always on 80-90% CPU even in idle and it is obviously hella slow and I am the one who has to work with it usually (since my mom is too afraid to use any kind of technology and can't remember any of her passwords), I tried to solve it but I came to the conclusion that the problem is probably Windows 10 itself. Okay, the hardware is bad too but still.

I started thinking about installing Linux on it, but It's not my laptop and I do not want to mess it up and I never did it before.

I got my first programming job half a year ago, the lead developer there is really fucked up... he is old fashioned and stubborn as hell. He developed a platform that is a mess, his comment: “it works”... but now I have to fix it... I argued with my boss and convinced him to put more time in making it more scalable and feature proof. But the lead developer back then... he didn’t agree it seems like he want to do everything as quickly as possible... now half a year later he stopped working for us and I’m the lead developer now.

And I’m discovering more and more bad decisions... HOWWWW

WHAT DID THIS GUY DO???

At one time I was arguing with him and he backfired a comment: “I’m doing it like this for 10 years”... so I guess that’s the problem... he didn’t put effort in keeping up with the latest developments...

There is literally no structure in his work, every file is different... HOW DO I FIX THIS IN A NICE WAY??? I’m thinking to just start over again...

On a 5 hour bus ride for which the company advertised that they have WiFi. Technically they did, it just didn't seem to be connected to anything. (it was but it was unusable). I tried logging into the router as i always do and one default "admin" password later i was in.
I didn't want to mess up anything too badly, however i did change the wpa password to "YouShouldMakeThisABitMoreSecure"

i really love coding because in C# you write string, and in Arduino String( with a capital s). You mess this up and nothing works.
10/10 would rewrite the whole program again because of this.

This bonehead wants to delete your C++ code. He obviously means that to use this for out-of-source builds, but still pretty dumb and easy to mess up.

The guy across from me on the phone being loud as ever just said this "the key to using cloud software is having it organized (he means storage in a sense), otherwise you end up with a mess on your desktop"

LOL I've seen his desktop it's a mess!

God, the media is a joke. They can't spell loss, and the chart would seem to indicate that ice loss is decreasing. How do you mess up a line chart? and a four letter word?

Worst experience was my first job after study. They told me at the interview that the job has very low travel activity... "we are doing most of the projects in-house...just traveling to the customer now and then for kick offs or when the software has to be trained"

A half year later I had to travel every fucking week to the customer. Fixing shitty code from a freelancer who never worked in a team, in a language I've never used before (they told me the first day at the customer). Don't get me wrong, I love learning new stuff but this project and architecture was a totally fucked up mess. Flew every monday to the customer (had to get up at 4am monday morning to get the flight) and friday back. Quit the job after living 3 months from a fucking suitcase.

I'm going to talk to my supervisor about redoing their code base.
It will take time, it will suck a bit but I think the long term investment in doing this right will be worth it.

Wish me luck in convincing him 😂🤞

That feeling when you're supposed to debug code someone else wrote a decade ago but it's such a horrible mess that your brain just gives up and you end up staring at your monitor for an hour in confusion 😵

What the fuck man.
Why even I am working with this assholes.
Yesterday,Our technical support guy reinstalled windows(I don't mess up with technical issues because then it will be my part time job,so I show that I don't know anything about hardware).
He installed fucking 32 bit window,He was trying to installed 64 bit version thunderbird.

He wasted my whole day.

When you haven't touched a project in a month and you decide you need to get back into it.

I have pages of dated notes, pseudo-code and function in the still need written. I have about 75% of the actual code up and functional, but I have no idea what I was working on when other things got in the way. I've been staring at this mess that I swear was once organized and made total sense and I'm completely lost.

Why do our brains do this!!

If I hear anyone utter the words "technical debt" one more time, I swear to God, I will fucking kill them :-/

It's your fault your design smells like piss in the first place. It's your responsibility to fucking fix it. You can't just sit on your arse all day, coming up with new, "innovative" ideas that will build up more technical debt :-/ it's making the life of everyone around you, a big, irreparable mess.

It was a Monday morning, and I did what most people do - I got up late. When I came to senses, I realized I have an important client meeting today.
I ran towards my closet and grabbed my favorite shirt, but it was a mess, badly wrinkled.

But no problem, I decided to put this task on my old but trusty laptop, I waked up my laptop (Which has just celebrated its 12th birthday yesterday), it literally coughed 100 times as i opened 3-4 chrome tabs and android studio on it. Within a minute , my newly found laptop-iron become as hot as the surface of sun, i gently placed my shirt under it and in 5 seconds my shirt was looking brand new !!! I quickly got dressed up , while my laptop was cursing me at the back.

Luckily my meeting went well and we secured a new project, on my way home I was happy and satisfied that my oldy has found a new purpose of life as a makeshift iron.

I returned home, and to my surprise my laptop was'nt turning on....!!! I though maybe its tired from todays work so i let him rest..........

Took a job during the summer vacation and was expected to sit through excel and click products and fill in info (mundane tasks). Overheard the boss talking to the coworkers "We need to translate 77,000 urls into images, how do we split this work up?" I jumped in and said "I can write that in code so you don't have to do it" They all looked at me like I was some sort of magician O_O. Had the program running during the weekend on three computers and all of the 77,000 urls are now a beautiful mess of pdfs and jpgs. Do you have a story that made you feel like a wizard?

> raw http request injected in the model
> 400 lines long method, followed by three 300 lines long methods
> no autocomplete, no comments
> code called by the whole application, I mess up once there's at least 150 other components that might break
> no documentation, no tests
> pyramid of doom, 13 levels of indentation

Those are the same people getting all puffed up because the cat dared to sit on my shoulder during a call. Management focused on the real fucking problems, no doubt.

"Rant/Story"

Dayum.
Prestory and afterstory:
Today I have slept for around <2 hours and had to drive to my college.

The real shit happens right now.

Story:
During these almost 2 hours, I have dreamed about going back in time, but being limited on the same day's hours.
In other words... It was e.g. 16 o'clock and the time travelled back into the past. Like into a "0830 ish" morning. The day would then come to an end and start with the next day. For example from Monday to Tuesday.
I was able to look into the future whenever I wanted to.
Even though I was driving my car in the first gear, it would drive into the reverse direction.
Time suddently switches direction and everything is going as it should be. Greeting people in the streets as I would do normally.
And all of the sudden time decides to switch its direction again and I have to do things in reverse.
At some point I found something like a hidden room which had a door. I opened it and went into the "room" (it was a special place. It had no walls at all). It had a door at the other side of the room. I went through it and saw another one in the last room. It felt like, if I decide to go through that door, I would instantly die. I therefore moved all the doors back into the dream world.
Such a confusion gave me a fucking headache lol.

After waking up from such a fucking complicated dream, time irl felt fucking weird lmao.

My alarm began to do its job. It tried to wake me up at 6:30 am, at 6:45 am and at 6:50 am.
But all the time along it felt like it began to wake me up at 6:50 am down to 6:30 am.

DO NOT MESS UP LANDING PAGE. FIRST IMPRESSION MATTERS.

* KISS (keep it super simple)
* don’t try solve a problem you don’t already have
* admit if you messed up. We can solve a problem early and minimise the damage. People should never be scared to admit when they mess up. No one is perfect.
* voice your opinion. You’d be surprised how helpful this can be to your team, as we need to look at things from all angles.
* help your team. If you see something wrong, make the team aware of it.
* ask if unsure, don’t assume

Dear people who create frameworks and libraries,

Please don't advertise your stuff as 'super easy to use', 'incredibly lightweight', 'no configuration needed', 'seamless integration' and shit like this. We all know it's a big fat fucking lie. Just be honest and write 'it supposed to be all-purpose but won't solve your problem', 'a huge fucking chaotic mess', 'slow as shit', 'will eat up all your resources', 'might be good but we've lost the documentation' or 'actually worse than vanilla'. If you'd do this, the world would be a better place.

Thanks,

Me and my manager throughout 2020

January:
Me: So umm, we can release the new app version
Manager: No we promised client X app first go build that
Me: umm, ok.

February:
Me: so the app is done, but client hasn't setup area L so there is no data there
Manager: ok, I'll have them setup area L soon ™️

March:
Manager: area L is too much work to setup, use workaround L thats way better
Me: ok ...

April:
Manager: client is nitpicking on design and layout please make this mess even greater
Me: ok, anything else?
Manager: yeah also start on app for client Z!
Me: and our app update?
Manager: later son! Risk tooo muchos!

May:
Me: the mess for client X is done, and first version for client Z is also ready for test
Manager: ok good work, here is a new set of things to mess up
Me: but... Seriously, wtf?!
Manager: clients want quality
Me: ah ok, not nitpicking, cool

June:
Manager: client X went MIA, but client Z will send you a weekly list of things they don't understand and want to change
Me: ah great, truly worth postponing my February holiday to release nothing

July:
Manager: so, how we doing on all them changes
Me: well, I am a loyal custodian with alot of pleasure in my work!
Manager: ah ok good!
Me: any news from client X??
Manager: who
Me: mkay ... n.v.m

August:
Me: can we release yet?
Manager: change, we can!!!
Me: are you Obama?
Manager: ambitions
Me: fuck you pay me

September:
Me: I am confident we can now release all 3 apps as promised mid september
Manager: great!! Good work

Also manager: you know that immensely complex area within the app? That needs a complete rewrite because we have bad ux there!!!
Me: ok... To which requirements?
Manager: good ux, we must have standards
Me: but the layout of page R id generic as page F so then we need to align there as well
Manager: go! Do!
Me: ok I'll come up with my own requirements then
Manager: we also need documentation
Me: really!!!! How clever of you to fire colleagues T & P and we now have zero workforce for that
Manager: things will get better someday
Me: ah, great! Put it on my calendar

October:
Me: I need a sabbatical biatch
Manager: a what?

Use Cache wisely, otherwise they gonna pile up and no one would like to clean that shitty mess

Pic source: Instagram

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DONT TOUCH ANYTHING FUCKING IDIOT!

Changes my code while I’m in holidays, deletes the tests that fail and pushes it to master. No backwards compatibility or anything..

Now I can spend a week to revert all his changes because they break lots of stuff and pray that he didn’t mess up the data too much..

Just changed jobs and learned that this client, a big international company, spent a whooping 2.000.000,- USD on a WordPress that does not work.
My job: clean up the mess they made.
Annual budget: 200.000,- USD
FML.

Question time:

Has anyone used PHP unit with Selenium before?

I have a.. well words can’t explain it nice enough but, beyond a joke, not even funny, spaghetti code base I’ve come to inherit recently, which god help me, doesn’t follow any design patterns at all, it’s just a stamp this here, staple this down over here and throw paint at the wall and hope it sticks.

It’s a mixture of procedural and functional with the rare class kind of mess.

So attempting to refactor by any means is not a real possibility without some kind of behavioural testing in place first otherwise I know I’m going to end up breaking something somewhere and not even know it.

Also if anyone has had the privilege of such code bases, tips to dealing with the mess are appreciated.

Oh and no, I can’t rm -rf or start again.😭

Setting up your development tools on Windows machine...

Oh my god! This is a mess.

I love it when rather than fix the bug that is causing the faulty data you write a bot on a schedule to clean up the faulty data. It's like a bot battle who can mess up / clean up the data the fastest. Unless your clean up bot has a bug then you are just F'ed.

My girlfriend needed a flash drive to back up her Chromebook. I took an old 7g I had and formatted it to exfat (standard procedure here, nothing special). She plugged it in and had some issues with it, so I told her to see erase the drive from her Chromebook. Chromebook said it would delete all 4 terabytes (4tb) from the drive. Lol. Don't know how that happened, and was tempted to try it to see how it went, but did not want to mess up her laptop or wait days for a supposed 4 TB drive to format.

Tl;dr: girlfriends Chromebook thought a 7gb flash drive was 4tb

I'm actually a Dev, mostly just a shell scripter who needs to support 500 servers which run our applications. I install the new versions and check whatever is wrong if there are customer issues.
One release weekend everything went wrong, Development had to make new builds on the fly with hardly any time for testing.
It took 18 hours with no break.
It was extremely hard to concentrate, but being in the Skype group with everyone and finally getting everything fixed was quite rewarding.
Everyone just opened a beer and we stayed on the call for about 30 more minutes just to relax.

I like our Dev team way better than I like my actual colleagues, who merely mess things up and call me for the smallest thing without even thinking.

I fucked up. I forgot the password. I already knew I have a really bad memory but then pride came along and told me that I'd remember it this time. Fuck my fucking pride. I fucked up and now I've got to restore this mess.

Fuck.

There are so many weird hacks in the quite legacy app I work with I could write a book about all them hacks…

But I must admit, the worst of them all is internal time. Yes, so some blockhead thought it’s a good idea to represent time in a manner completely removed from Datetime objects or timestamps or even string representations. Instead we deal with them as intervals represented by integers - and because this is not fucked up enough by itself, the internal time doesn’t start at midnight, yet the integer representations do. It’s a bloody mess. No wonder most of the bugs we face have to do with dates and time…

so i signed in into a new win 11 install a few weeks back. hadn't noticed until now, windows has been backing up all my new PC's files to one drive. all the junk and temp files too 😭. Completely messed up my organisation on onedrive 😭. Fuck whoever thought it would be good idea to backup documents folder into documents folder fromevery fucking PC. not naming what PC or user it came from. I'm so fucked cleaning up this mess. Motherfucking assholes.

On the side note, anyone have any idea how can i find out which PC or user a file was uploaded by in the explorer itself. ☹️

devops guy: "Shut up, Perl is awesome. It is the best Swiss Army knife language."

I agree. Let us observe the architect in our metaphor, in charge of building our new building, insists on doing it ALL with a Swiss Army knife.

Yes, I agree with your comparison very very much.

(translation... I want to use Docker, a temporary db, and continuous integration. He wants to continue writing and reading tons of shit to a mess of JSON text files all over the place.)

Want to switch to Linux so bad right now. Getting tired of Windows and its shit. It took 12 minutes just to shut down!!! I'm just holding back until I finish this project I'm working on for Uni so I don't mess things up. After that it's goodbye Windows!
What distro should I try first? ;)

!dev I guess

Stress and anxiety are bitches. I'm sure that mostly everyone here already knows that. Sometimes life is just a fucking mess, and no matter what you do, it just gets worse and worse.

Personally, shit's just gotten so bad lately. A bit more than a year ago life was shit and I started pulling out my hair, then I noticed I had a bald spot after about a week and I did everything I could to stop. Managed to stop, until recently. Right now I have a fair sized bald patch right on the top of my head after about a month of pulling. At least I have long hair (about chest length) so I can just put it up to cover the spot.

This community has been the thing keeping me sane lately and I just wanted to thank you guys for just doing what you do. I'm a fucking mess and just need an outlet

TL;DR Developers don't like it when marketing attempts to do their job. They like it even less when they have to clean up the mess when they fuck things up.

Our marketing team was specifically told not to put JS into the CMS. They were told that if you need JS for something, we will do it and then work it into a release. That wasn't good enough so they hired a design firm to "hack" the JS inline. They found a back door to get the JS in place but couldn't get it to work right. They called me to come look at it. After 5 minutes of explaining why they shouldn't have done what they did, I grudgingly decided to look at the JS. 30 seconds later I fixed what they had been screwing with for about 8 hours. They were using --> arrows in their comments! Seriously?!? designer != developer

Staying in because I have some really awesome stomach pains this morning courtesy of my time in the wonderful U.S Army.

As such my daughter did not get dropped off at the daycare center.

It is 09:22am. She(daughter)would have stayed asleep till about 10 if we didn't mess with her.

For WHATEVER FUCKING REASON and knowing that my stomach is on a fucking murder spree right now my wife decided in ALL OF HER FUCKING WISDOM to wake her up.

I am so
Fucking
Upset

I really feel for the motherfucker that would today and I am really wishing a motherfucker would.

Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman

So... after a vision test on a whim, it turned out I needed glasses.

Turns out sitting in front of a screen all day did actually mess my eyes up 😂

Luckily I only need them for using the computer for extended periods of time, so managed to run them through my company as an expense.

Procrastination is weird... Their were a piece of code I wasn't looking forward to work on, so I started cleaning my apartment instead, putting some order in my files, and even tidy up my desk, which I didn't do for months 😐
And it finally took me 10min to actually write the code 😆
It's annoying, but I can't be the only one 🤔
At least I can enjoy a clean setup... Until it become a mess again...

The worst architecture I've seen is WordPress.
How can you be so drunk to design such a filthy mess?
In some way PHP might be to blame. Its API is a fucking mess as well and may have stirred WP developers in this puke around so they couldn't come up with a better CMS architecture.
Don't get me wrong. I do love PHP. But only in it's OO form with namespaces and type hints and composer dependencies.

I've seen enough of PHP functional programming and it still haunts me.

It's killing me.

This senior keeps doing all his fixes in the the same branch (named "develop-copy-{hisname}") and keeps merging it directly into develop and deployment branches. He has a lot of experience and therefore the manager gave him direct access to the branch.

The problem will arise when the QA team sends back one of the issues in the release back for changes. This never happened till date (his fixes are early and we vet all in-team changes, therefore he gets time to clean up his mess before the release date) but someday this will bite us in the ass.

I'm really unsure about ratting him out to the manager but I couldn't convince him to use separate branches (or separate commits) for different fixes. I couldn't convince him to add JIRA links/numbers into the commit messages either.

And, the junior devs I manage are getting inspired by him, and won't listen to me when I try to enforce separate branches, creating a political mess (probably I'm kinda like a contractor and they are permanent employees).

Sucks.

I wish the clients didnt force us to add their people to the team. I would understand if they wanted them to learn something but most of the time they just mess up our work and refuse to cooperate. Whats the point in that? You want it done right let us do our job.

"The dumbest mistake is viewing design as something you do at the end of the process to ‘tidy up’ the mess, as opposed to understanding it’s a ‘day one’ issue and part of everything." - Tom Peters

Our tech lead left a mess in the database. He turned his screw-up into an architectural discussion, weighing the benefits of duplicated, messy data vs. keeping it consistent. He suggested that, instead of fixing his broken script and cleaning the mess, we should break all of the other scripts and have them trash the database, too.

They almost believed it.

What a clever maneuver. I wish he would use his cleverness to make good software, instead.

Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:

The IS department manager 'John' loved shelled peanuts, but hated cleaning them up. By the end of the day his desk and surrounding area were covered in peanut shells (he never bothered trying to put the shells in the trash can). He didn't seem to care because the maintenance crew would clean up the office every night and he would come in to a clean area every day.

That was until the company owner's wife was making the rounds one day and saw his mess. The shells hit the fan. The 'beat down' occurred at EOD, so most didn't witness it, but she lit him up. Almost screaming that he's a grown man and the maintenance crew have enough to do without cleaning up after him...etc..etc.
John never ate peanuts at his desk again.

Running a wild UPDATE statement against an inventory database, it was chaotic and didn't have backups.... yea I know 😅 the backup service died god knows when and no one noticed. I was only new at the time so #notMyFault

UPDATE stock_on_hand = 0; WHERE id IN(1,2,3,4,5,88,972,7388);
# rows affected 1,234,567,890

> I think I almost died inside.

Oh the fun that mess was to clean up.
The positive outcome of this was, we had backups working again not long after and the inventory counts where accurate after that stock take.

Everything about the company is a mess. The only thing that is decent is the people. And by that I mean they aren't shit.
Workflows are fucked.
Clients are fucked. You're pressuring me to get this shit production ready before new year's eve and you still don't know what the text should say and want to make changes to the UI? The fuck?!
Design is a complete shit show. There is a design team. They only make a fucking psd to show clients how an interface would look like. No mobile version (but it's still expected to work!), no markup. Resolution is fucking inconsistent and whenever a change is requested, they are nowhere to be seen so I have to actually do designing on top of having to use this worthless fucking framework I hate it so much.
Codebases are turbo-fucked because of said framework.
Databases are an inconsistent, fucked up mess. No foreign key constraints because every single fucking table is using the MyISAM engine.

And the thing that really makes me incredibly angry is all the "custom systems" look the fucking same at the database level. Like 30 fucking useless tables made for stupid HR workflows that make no fucking sense.

Dear Hipchat, if you are going to implement an Autocorrect Feature, LEARN THE FN TECH LANGUAGE

if i type gradle i do not mean grade
if i type coap, i do not mean soap
if i type mqtt i do not mean mitt
and for f-shake hipchat is not "hip chat", how do you even mess that one up!

(feature now disabled)

Started a new job a month ago. I’m the only real frontend developer here. I come from a company with 10+. Now i’m working with a old ux guy. Mr. UX teached me the usage of a styleguide. This styleguide is a fucking mess. The legacy code is a fucking mess. They way of working, up for improvement.
I have a dream...

Alright folks, interview for an apprenticeship in a dev position in 1 hour

Wish me luck ^^'

Trying out i3 (gaps) now. Time to mess my brain up with all these keybindings from i3, vim, termite, tmux, uzbl...

Could have tried qutebrowser too but sadly it doesn't work in my raspberry pi.

You can get mad about Apple releasing stuff that Android has been doing for 10 years. But also get mad about you not being able to pick up and Android phone that is not a buggy mess. I will pick Apples pretentious products over wanting to throw my phone on the floor at least 5 times a day because swiping doesn't work the first 10 times or because I have to select an input field 6 thousand times for it to highlight or because every action has a delay for no apparent reason.
Yes Apple sucks but truth is Android sucks hell of a lot more. Sorry not sorry.

Ughhhhhh. This fucking code is a disaster! The guy says he built it DRY, but it's WET as fuck! So much fucking repeated code!

I'm annoyed most because I know that it'd be a fucking waste of time to try and rebuild what these guys have built over the past 5 years, but goddamn it, it shouldn't be an excuse to keep on making code like this!

I know that I'm not super experienced in C# but pick up a goddamn book on good coding practices. This thing is a disjointed mess and it never had to get this way.

So many fucking interfaces!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So in C++ there is no garbage collector to clean up the mess u leave behind?

And now i feel like a garbage collector.... always cleaning up after monkeys... :(

Had another meeting today. The solution architect said two insulting jokes about developers like:

"The devs will nevertheless mess it up"

Devs are the ones who make chaos

This meeting was with a customer and his developer. I was just furious!

This useless son of a bitch needs to learn his lesson

800+ lines of js, implementing business logic from an excel spreadsheet. All variables named as the excel cells, e.g "B32 = G11 * Min(A12, A13)" and so on, all grouped in a few giant functions.

PM told me to modify some of the logic, ended up rewriting the whole thing. At least the next person working on it won't have to deal with this mess...

OK - Time to settle this for me. What is up with PHP? Everyone seems to detest it, however when I talk about NodeJs or Python, people say that they are inefficient. So is PHP an efficient mess?

so, docker in windows looks like a mess, could not set up a laravel environment easily, then my last resort was to use a virtual machine and adios docker from my system

Markdown. It is now used by MDN Web Docs and supported by Google Docs. End users will slowly pick up. Then even more (proprietary) flavors of markdown and their accompanying JS-frameworks will follow. All with good intentions, but it can only to end in a big mess and confusion like USB or USB 3.2 Gen 1.

It's Sunday. A day for prayer. Today I am praying that others dont mess up the code base when I get to work on Monday. Amen.

Things I’m learning from my accounting job that will help me in my future dev career:

Today I have really, truly understood the need to sometimes just walk away.
I couldn’t figure out how to fix something, I kept fucking up, and at 16:40 I realized I can just stop, do something else that’s easy and doable, and come back to the fucked up mess I made in the morning. We’ll see how it goes, but it’s a lesson I’ve been continuously learning over the last few years, not to stubbornly brute-force my way into doing something when I’m not in the right mindset and able to do it, and instead just calm myself down and come back to it later.

Week 1 of the new job, and it seems I have some pretty low expectations to meet.

Seriously, I just did the math. Let's say one works an average of 48 hours per week, 50 weeks per year. Just as an average. That's 2400 hours in a year.
In the Micro-scale, a manager would mess up their team once every 2.4 hours (2h24m) or about 4 times per day (assuming 5 working days per week).
That is a pretty low bar to clear. It easy not to be an antsy brat that are-we-there-yet's a professional dev four fucking times a day.

And yet... that is what the complete moron who previously sat on my chair used to do.
Seriously, apparently he used to remote access the team's dev envs *while they were working* and even mess up some of their code. Just as a "monitoring measure". He logged their "keystroke time" in a day (using a primitive windowing method, I must add).
At least 7 requests for updates per person per day. I have his slack history, I checked. Dude literally did nothing else but be an annoying anxiety death pit.

And then there is his bulshit planning...
He created tasks out of his stupid whims, no team review or brainstorming, not even a fucking requisites tallying interview.
He prioritized those out-of-nowhere tasks using panic-driven-development practices and assigned them by availability heuristics.
No sizing method, just arbitrary deadlines for tasks.

I think I will need to have daily standup meetings and an open door policy (that is to say, do no actual work) for a couple months until I can instill some sense of autonomy on my new team. Shit.

Someone has another idea? How do I bring some confidence&autonomy back to devs that are used to be treated like dogs?!?

!dev

What a fucking son of a bitch day...

I’m hungover as fuck so i don’t wanna drive, so I want to pay parking for a few hours.
I didn’t find my fucking key, when I pulled up the couch to look under it, my XPS fell of it and smashes the screen. At that moment my landlord knocks on the door to take a look at the kitchen ceiling and t he kitchen is a fucking MESS! You know when you’re drunk and get a late night cooking attack? Yea, that sort of mess.

Completely fucked in my head I got the reserve key for the car, unlocked it and the bloody alarm went of because the keys battery is empty. So managed to turn it off, went back into my apartment and found the key BEHIND the motherfucking couch.. BEHIND THE COUCH, HOW WOULD IT EVEN GET THERE? Ffs...

I’ll just continue drinking now and hope tomorrow is gonna be a better day.. and order a new screen for my laptop, it’s not at all like I’m short on money this month anyway..

What the fuck is up with job ads for "software engineer" that don't list the tech stack or even the actual product you'd be working on. I get it that it's some shitty external HR companies but are they even trying?

Also half the fullstack positions that don't even list the front stack. "Looking for a backender that will also cobble together some mess for the front, we don't give a shit". And then half of professional software is virtually unusable.

I had once an sql error that took me two days to resolve it.
The error message was a syntax error but I was using an ORM to write my queries (doctrine with php) .I didn't have too much to debug as the code was pretty simple and clear so I got to the point that I convinced myself that this a bug and I'm gonna try to mess around it to avoid it.

Second day late night, something popped up in my mind '' hey what about those reserved words? Could it be the reason? '' aaaaand BINGO the key '' option '' is a fucking reserved word for mysql.

Tip : always check that list before writing your data models (specially if you're a noob like me)

I get that people mess up sometimes but their mistakes make it in to production...

How much does a syntax of a language impact ur opinion of it and wether you'll want to use/learn it?

Some languages I look at and it just looks like an unreadable mess, i dont even bother with. Avoided nodejs up until i didnt have to deal with 100 nested callbacks...

So I'm basically my family's IT guy, as you'd expect, but this is just pulling my hairs.

My mom's laptop has a weird error message saying something about a corrupt windows update database.

Not wanting to mess the system up, I decided to factory reset the computer and see if that helped.

During the factory reset, windows tells me that it can't delete all files, and that another factory reset might be in order.

Alright, I don't think any more of it and proceed to setup the account on the computer, everything works fine.

Next day I decide to run windows update on it just to see if everything works as it should, the computer restarts and immediately BSoDs on me. Upon reboot the same error from before the system reset pops up again, and I'm back to square one.

Fuck windows and all its constant issues

This fucking guy create a mess of a code, more than a spaghetti code, a clusterfuck of shit untested spaghetti code, and the project is actually getting well, our customer is getting bigger but everytime there is something to be added, its a fucking pain to add, and when something breaks, almost every thin breaks, and the shitty guy who wrote this code is quitting and its fucking up to me to clean up all the fucking mess, fucking asshole.

DOCUMENT AND TEST YOUR CODE KID, DONT BE A FUCKING SPAGHETTI PROGRAMMER

> day 3439
> I have become the reviewer, there is no longer such thing as a programmer, just a reviewer
> the copilot AI was renamed "The Pilot"
> I sit and read through thousands of lines of code a day adding missing new line characters and adding semi-colons for paranoid dev leads
> reviewed a hello world function today
> instead of, return "Hello World!", it said "Goodbye World! >:)"
> I fixed it and submitted a PR
> this has been happening more and more lately
> apparently it's more efficient to fix the bugs of a malicious AI during pull reviews then it is for humans to make the programs
> congress just signed a bill last week allowing "The Pilot" to work on nuclear launch code
> I hope I don't mess up

Have you ever argue with a developer who:
+ have the same level as you
+ on the same position in the company
+ in the same team
+ OLDER than you
+ thinks their code is the best

A few years back, a coworker and I argue about how to implement a feature. I proposed an approach. He proposed a different one. I immediately saw some problems and told him. But hell no, he defended his idea so strongly that I just gave up since I will leave the company soon.

2 weeks later, when the sprint was about to end, the whole team had to work overtime to fix the mess because of his terrible approach.

Don't reuse your fixtures!

Each test case should be isolated. Don't ever think just because some function requires a similar input, it's safe to reuse it ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Why? Because someday, you want to change one functionality of one unit.

And you adapt your tests, fix your code, and suddenly, by changing one fixture, you break dozens if not hundreds of unrelated tests and now you have to clean up that mess.

It's even worse for functional tests with all those interwoven parts so that it becomes hard to reason about the scope of your tests when lacking proper documentation.

How I know? BECAUSE I AM CLEANING UP YOUR MESS RIGHT NOW!

If I ever get the chance to start my own company or pick out the dev team I work with... I will never, ever, ever work with anyone who doesn't understand how to abstract out a problem. Our prod DB is a mess and our API is a mess because we left it to some dudes who are dumb as shit and doing everything ad-hoc. Now their ad-hoc shit doesn't work anymore and I get to clean it up. 😫😞FML

!dev

Long time, no rant. Why is facial hair so difficult to control? How do people even grow beards without looking like hobos all the time? Do I have to make some sort of sacrifice to a dark and malevolent entity?

Believe me, it's so much easier to keep on top of shaving body hair than taming face fur. Especially because your facial hair is, you know, on your *face* which means it's very visible. You can't hide it if you mess up. Unless you decide that wearing a balaclava is a good idea when going outside, like when going grocery shopping. Generally that isn't received too well though.

when you start typing google qustions in terminal...

I finally managed to install arch 😊 (in virtualbox).

I tried a few months ago on my actual computer but got the flashing underscore, and failed to find the cause. Ever since I've been meaning to try again but always didn't like the prospect of sitting there for ages just to end up with a complete mess. Luckily the tutorial seems a load clearer now (or maybe my understanding has improved) so it worked first time (second time if you count going back because I forgot to install a network manager).

Now I've just got to get a desktop environment, thinking of trying lxqt, and I forget about it for a while until I come back and realise everything's broken.

Take your time with merge conflicts, and put the entire file in another editor in case you really mess up.

It seems that every Pi day, I end up with a new Raspberry Pi that I got sometime before it. First, a 1, then a 2+3, now I have a Zero as well. Next year, I'll have a cluster of 3s. No reason, just want to mess with it.

New team, same discussions...

* Why should we use cmake? It is way better to add visual studio project files to the repository and allow everyone to mess around in the compiler setting dialogs. Nobody needs cmake if not targeting multiple platforms!
* clang-format? What kind of black magic is this? It is way better to manually try to stick with each source file's existing formatting - regardless of how messed up it is - and manually check that from time to time!
* Why should we use the latest visual studio 2019 compiler, if 2017 and 2015 do just fine? This way we can save license fees!

/irony off

Just to mention a few highlights...

the thanksgiving turkey is like my regex - I always mess it up

"the footer of the site is broken"

seriously, f..k wysiwyg-editors!
all they do is creating invalid bloated html and I'm supposed to clean up the mess behind the content managers...

Dev lesson learned the hard way. Never rm -rf with wildcard arguments... If you think you're being clever it probably means you're about to mess up some shit.

What time do you get up on work days? I'm starting to think I should have me time in morning (reading, learning, coding my own things) before going to work.

I've think I've come the the conclusion that this job/team is sorta chaotic and tedious and there's no skill growth. Not learning anything new. Usually just something broken, integrate some new feature, build something that I've already built before but differently for this specific case. Nothing fun or challenging, or new.

And also tired of trying to be a "role model", make things right. I tend to like to keep things orderly, documented, well tested and clean but everyone else seems to just bulldoze their way to get whatever they need, leaving a mess behind... It's been like 2yrs already but the technical debt seems to be growing not shrinking...

There was a task of fixing up a payments page that features pretty complex logic. Initially it was like 200 lines of code, seems short but it was a fucking spaghetti mess. Never seen more cognitively complex code in my life.

So I delete the spaghetti and pull out the 500 lines fucking state machine. It works perfectly. It’s perfectly understandable even though it’s longer.

This is how I deal with problems. Shorter code isn’t always better code.

PouchDB.

It promised full-blown CRDT functionality. So I decided to adopt it.

Disappointment number one: you have to use CouchDB, so your data model is under strict regulations now. Okay.

Disappointment number two: absolutely messed up hack required to restrict users from accessing other users’ data, otherwise you have to store all the user data in single collection. Not the most performant solution.

Disappointment number three: pagination is utter mess. Server-side timestamps are utter mess. ANY server-side logic is utter mess.

Just to set it to work, you need PouchDB itself, websocket adapter (otherwise only three simultaneous syncs), auth adapter (doesn’t work via sockets), which came out fucking large pile of bullshit at the frontend.

Disappointment number four, the final one: auth somehow works but it doesn’t set cookie. I don’t know how to get access.

GitHub user named Wohali, number one CouchDB specialist over there, doesn’t know that either.

It also doesn’t work at Incognito mode, doesn’t work at Firefox at all.

So, if you want to use PouchDB, bear that in mind:
1. CouchDB only
2. No server-side logic
3. Authorization is a mess
4. Error logs are mess too: “ERROR 83929629 broken pipe” means “out of disk space” in Erlang, the CouchDB language.
5. No hosting solutions. No backup solutions, no infrastructure around that at all. You are tied to bare metal VPS and Ansible.
6. Huge pile of bullshit at frontend. Doesn’t work at Incognito mode, doesn’t work at Firefox.

Most hours of work at once?
A coworker and I did an allnighter because our boss gave us a tight fucking deadline (luckily that almost never happens).
We started normal work at 06:30 and were finisted at 09:30 the next day. Summed up break time: 1h 15m.
I remember that my coworker went home after that but fell asleep in the train and woke up 2 hours later half across the country. Poor soul.
When he left, my boss just arrived in the office and I had to stay 2 hours longer to fix bugs we implemented during our caffeine overdose...

It later turned out that the whole mess was useless, because the client put the project on hold. That was about 8 months ago, or 12, I don't even remember.

I've been working on my term paper and writing an SDL-OpenGL program for it. I wanted to implement GLSL shaders. Took me only 6 hours and three cocktails.
And after the ordeal I ended up with this unholy flickering mess which just hurts to look at.
It's frustrating, doing all this shit for something that doesn't even work properly.
Fuck this

FUCKING HELL.

It's already enough that this FUCKING API I have to work with is a mess of JSON and XML responses mixed together.
With mixed german and english keys and attributes all sprinkled over it.
And API access locked to Austria only for some reason.

And then they even manage to fuck up the little bit of JSON they use.

It's just a fucking array of strings (where one could easily use integers).

They can stick this fucking steaming pile of shit that they call API up their PHP infested assholes.

I hate web development sometimes.

5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.

How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.

No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.

And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.

Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!!

I was doing some maintenance on a production server for a game hosting company (Minecraft hosting, for those interested). A week before, I had created a backup of an account directory before trying to solve an issue, I now wanted to remove this directory.

Since I am way too confident in my ability to not mess up, I was logged in as root.

Instead of typing `rm -rf ../` (I know using -f is a bad idea), I typed `rm -rf /`.

The distro we were using did not have any protections built in.

The directory I wanted to remove as gone, but so was the rest of the server once I realized what I had done.

Notice how the Apple code samples have moved from the very well designed Objective C to a mature Swift... (sorry, typo, manure Swift) Swift 1.0, wait 2.0, no hold on 3.0, oh yea 4.0. It's a moving target for their developers with code samples all over the place...

Once Swift stabilizes, sure, ok, force everyone and everything to change (seriously?).

Apple, why the FUCK do you think we want to deal with your beta crap forced down our throat? Its bad enough the language is an inconsistent illogical mess but having to come along with you for the 'we-don't-have-a-clue-what-we-are-doing' ride is utter bullshit. Leave the GOD DAMN Objective C samples up for crying out loud.

Chased a bug for nearly a week. Huge code base, over 2mn lines consisting of a mess of C++, Python and Lua glued together.. Wrote a very complex distributed computational framework. End up with a elusive compiler bug in GCC.. FML

In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.

Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!

So I quit after 10 years of service to start my own company. Never had the resources or tools to put the full documentation effort in unfortunately. Trying my best for a handover. The board have started to treat me like shit, no respect after a decade of propping these assholes up. I have offered my services post employment but they are being difficult.

Just got an email and call from our data centre... they are shutting down the site and can't relocate our boxes physically due to the ip ranges in use. Only option is to migrate the sites and code to new boxes. Which means patching of db and code for newer versions.

Do I leave them with this mess since they are being assholes or try to sort it properly in my last few weeks while I also document..

I regret moving to backend. I loved the days when I used to write lines of code and refresh my browser for the changes to be displayed on the screen. I loved seeing the output of my code, the code flow, the light weight text editor, the visual satisfaction and the chrome debugger.

Now I am fucked up, I am working on creating microservices for restful api. I am hating everything about it. The fact that I should compile the entire war, manually copy them to a webapp folder, restart my tomcat and wait for 5 minutes just to see my code, and the text editors are just a pain in the ass, the debugger sucks too.

I was so looking forward to being a backend Dev because I thought Java was cool and I also was fedup with cross browser optimizations on the front end. Now I would gladly write a streaming service foe ie6. Spring has fucked me up so hard

God save me from this mess.

Today on "fuck Firefox": elements with display: inline and position: relative completely mess up z-index and nested fixed / absolute positioned elements. It's a known bug, it has open issues on bugzilla since 2005, but still no fix. IE 8 can get it right, but not Firefox...

Sometimes I look at my old code and I wish I could go back in time and punch my self in the face for writing that shit

But then I look at it as I'm actually improving so guess it's ok?

Spent 4 hours fixing callback mess I had in my ReactJs project, making it all as Promise and async hope I don't fuck up this time

I needed to log in on a website in someone else's pc and didn't know the password by heart. I thought I'd log into chrome, if I log out later, what could go wrong right?

Apparently, a lot. It facking merged my bookmarks, history and passwords with hers! And she had shitloads of them! It took me facking hours to clean up the mess chrome created. I trust her, but I still didn't want her to have my passwords etc.

Omg I'm never logging into chrome again elsewhere, what a frustrating facking waste of time

I'm feeling empty. All my friends and roomates went home. But I stayed in hostel. I haven't touched my laptop from last 3 days. I'm just lying on bed staring at ceiling. I'm not even in a relationship, so I call my mother everyday to get the feeling of being loved.
This quarantine is strange. First few days I spent my time playing video games, watching Netflix, laughing at memes. But Now I'm feeling empty. Very strange thoughts are now occupying my mind. I'm sleeping 10+ hrs, and staring at ceiling or outside window most of the time. My room is a mess. Forget washing hands, I don't even feel like standing up to switch on lights.
I'm not saying I feel sad or depressed, I just feel very strange.

When you mess up the repo, the bestfriend to help out is named "stash".
Personal record: 9 times stash in a row with no commits.
Comment to share your personal records...

Just noticed that, at my school, the "sysadmin" forgot to put the password on one of the switches. That means I'm gonna have some fun, nothing that will get me in trouble, I'm just gonna mess up with the config a little bit so that he understands he fucked up.

I'm pretty surprised that none of the students discovered this, but I mean, none likes IT at my school. And guess who likes it but didn't take that "course"? Me.

In Italy, we don't have courses, you decide what you gonna do for the next 5 years, and changing isn't very easy. All and all I'm happy with what I chose, I'll have a better resume than them.

!rant
Oh I forgot to tell y'all that I've got a research internship at IIT Indore for these summers

IIT is India's Governmental Engineering college and is highly respectable

I know a few people here who study at IITs, but Yay! I got a nice and good internship which will actually tell me how to proceed in research and not do a mess of shit like I did last year's summer holidays and also made so bad of a relation with one of my professor that I can't even look in his eyes whenever he is nearby me
(Although I had to pay for this internship. New IITs need the intern to pay.)

Wish me luck guys

BTW more good news *might* be coming up

God why is it so hard to let go with people around, especially potential friends or partners... It could be so easy to just have fun and do the things you always think about, but then you mess it up and that somehow.. purposely.

kinda sick of my friends giving me super basic advice when I mention my mess of 3d printer files

'group similar things together'
'have folders for main projects with nested sub projects'
'put the slicer project file with the stl files for the specific model'

I'm not fucking 5 I've lived long enough to have some level of basic common sense.
Worst part is they forget we've had this conversation and next time I even mention my files they bring up the exact same fucking comments EVERY damn time

TEST, TEST AND TEST ASSHOLE

OUR PROJECT IS GETTING BIGGER AND START TEST YOUR FUCKING CODE SO I DONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE WHOLE FUCKING MESS

FUCKERS

If you mess up your fstab and you forgot a nofail option somewhere, then all tries for recovery fail, you'll never forget to set this fucking option ever again...

ok guys, im having a little trouble diving into this, anyone wanna help?

ive got a server set up, and a client app. the client has a the server's public key built in, and encrypts the aes key/iv and sends it to the server, simple enough.

but now, after the first socket connection is over, what do i do? ive got both sides with the same aes key, but the server has multiple keys for other clients. so when the first client connects again, how do i know which key to use?

ive tried implementing a session class where there's a session id, but it doesnt work because the id must be encrypted, too. can someone help a fellow ranted out?

Me: Ok I've updated the docs, I'll open a PR with the changes

Maintainer: Looks great! Can you remove the changes to the package-lock.json? (I assume it got updated when you ran npm install to start the webserver)

Me: Ok sure, I'll update it soon

And this is where the troubles begin. The file was commited 2 commits ago, so I have to roll back to then. However, the remote repository has been updated since then, so I git fetch to keep up to date.

This makes the rollback a hell of a lot harder, so I run git log to see the history. I try a reset, but I went back to the wrong commit, and now a shit ton of files are out of sync.

I frantically google 'reset a git reset', and come across the reflog command. Running that fucks things up even worse, and now so much shit is out of sync that even git seems confused.

I try to fix the mess I've created, and so I git pull from my forked repo to get myself back to where I was. Git starts screaming at me about out of sync files, so I try to find a way to overwrite local changes from the origin.

And by this point, the only way to describe what the local repo looks like is a dumpster fire clusterfuck that was involved in a train wreck

I resolved the mess by just deleting the local copy and git cloning again from my fork.

I gotta learn how to use Git better

It's been so long since I used git I accidentally nuked my commit and only copy of client code during a revert.

How the fuck does anyone mess up that badly? 😅

Have you ever had to fire someone? or get someone fired?

I’m thinking about a time when I should have made sure a guy was fired.
He had no business leading a project, and I knew this early on when he suggested connecting a public frontend straight to a clients’ ERP.
I wasn’t on his project but I ended up cleaning up his mess when shit hit the fan.

Design patterns are to programming what cum swapping is to porn: The further it is carried, the nastier it gets, and at the end an innocent victim has to clean up the whole mess.

Omg fucking Microsoft Teams shit. Stop it with your auto pop op Emoji menu shit you utter cunts.

I just want to copy the bit of chat…not critique the fuck out of it

Why did our company sign up to this filthy mess? Cunt CTO taking backhanders…when he retires we will be left with this shit…what a wanker!

Why do I prefer robots to humans, you ask? I'd love to tell you.

If I tell a robot that I want my room vacuumed, they wouldn't purposefully mess up the room instead. It understands a small set of instructions.

But if I tell a human, a friend for example, that I have abandonment issues, you best believe they will go ahead and abandon me exactly when I need them.

Or if I tell a human, a potential fwb for example, that I can't take emotional stuff, you best believe that they will do a 180 and become the most romantic person ever.

And that, is why I prefer robots. Now, one of you go ahead and make an intelligent robot that I could date. I'm literally done with people.

To the managers and new developers.

Development, and Product Development is not a black-and-white game.

It is an entire spectrum. You cannot move to the next best version. Next best feature, or the next best app.

The only jump that you take is getting started. After that it is a walk across the entire spectrum. Things grow slowly, and steadily. Just keep an eye on the next improvement.

Study the analytics, improvise, focus your energies, and just move to the next shade.

Enough steps, and you will have what you want.

It requires planning, courage, determination, tactics, sticking together ,and above all patience.

Most importantly, get rid of the people who cannot think long, rush, and mess things up.

My biggest data loss and also contributed in me getting into computer stuff was when dad formatted the computer before I was able to take a backup, felt so bad at that time it had all my photos from school with friends.

So instead of crying in the corner and me not knowing they can be brought back, at least half of them, I started learning how computers work, how software work, what type of software is out there ...etc. Though that brought more work for dad having to format my mess every month of so XD

But I ended up learning a lot of new things. Then one programming class at school sent me into the dev world

Uninstalling Visual Studio is a mess. It'll leave behind hundreds of silly component, which is funny because the main reason I started the process was to clean up a possibly corrupt installation. It also left behind a Docker tool component, which I can't uninstall cause that installer needs VS itself :D

So this web company i joined had a page load time in minutes. The free text search (inverted index search, based on elasticsearch) queries would return results in 10-45 seconds (should be milliseconds always). The indexes had no schema. And they would crawl data and feed into mssql db, which had a 2 gb/db limit on the free version. So everytime the db hit the limit, a new db was created and the name was incremented by one.

Had a very tough time cleaning up that mess. Plus the architect who had made this architecture was on his way out and unhelpful to the core.

What was worse was that most of the changes i did were very simple changes that should have been done long back. Basic sanity changes.

!Dev

I soon will start working from home. meaning I won't have to waste 4 hours a day busing back and forth from the office.

I think with that free time I might start trying to organize my life, I have hundreds of 'read later' and 'useful' bookmarks across 3 computers, too many browsers, and countless bookmark folders. I also have notes in 7 channels on a private discord server.

I think with the free time I might actually clean up that massive mess and using my server I didn't have last time I worked from home, actually figure out a method that'll help keep it from getting this bad again.

I often ask my colleagues about their mess ups on the job and that, to me, says a lot about them.

See, we devs have this unspoken rule between us (in my opinion) that we don't discuss our screw-ups whether it's the resume, the interview or at the job.

Are you really telling me that you've worked 5+ years in software industry and never messed up ONCE? Or were/are you in a position where you screwing up wouldn't create a dent for your team processes?

I can trust a dev more, who admits their screw ups because I know they have learned a valuable lesson and they are accountable for their actions.

It's true what they say.
You don't mess with hot glue without burning yourself.
It would be funny if I didn't have my pointer fingers burned up lol.

!rant

I often have the problem of messing up my Linux installation, it gets unstable or the desktop envoirment gets slow / unresponsive

I want to switch to Ubuntu (with budgie) for quite a while but I'm afraid I mess up my system again...

Any tips for an inexperienced Linux person? tips to keep your system healthy and stable, tings to avoid when installing (like adding unofficial ppa...)
Thank you in advance 💙
(also how do you deal with errors? Do you just search the internet and try it out? ((and yes, I did brick a few installations 'trying it out')) 😅)

JIRA life:

Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.

I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.

Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.

"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"

YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!

Some things never change

> Have to deploy only one feature to production
> Create branch from latest tag, cherry pick the correct changes
> Mess up merge
> Almost deploy resulting broken code to production
> Realize at last moment
> Let out a loud sigh, start over

Every damn time.

After having dealt with the 9'999th issue with Samba, I decided to use a Rasperry Pi as a CUPS server and have everyone at home print their stuff over the Pi. Instead of having a Samba connection to my Dads PC where the printers were shared to.
BEST!
DECISION!
EVER!
Took me only 2h to set up and nearly everything worked after the first try.
I just have to deal with the cable mess now :(

Not a specific bug, but I always have that satisfactory feeling when I fix a bug inside a code like this:
1. Spaghetti af
2. Duplicated af
3. Heavy use of static fields instead of passing via callback when required
4. variable names like: textbox1 ..etc.
5. No comments

It is true that is a huge pain in the ass to deal with, but then I look at it as I was able to create something out of that mess, I mean all is mixed up nothing is clear, no clue where it starts and what caused it, but then I put the pieces together and end up with a solution of what I thought to be: It will never be solved when that mess is here.

Not an excuse for messed up code, I try fixing whenever possible, but hey, at least I did not run away and give up

I fucking hate when I mess up my spf

Keyboard layouts/localization seem like something went horribly wrong and nobody decided to clean up the mess.

And now we have multiple layouts where the fucking alt key doesn't even work exactly the same between them, how is that even possible? And who thought it was a good idea to differentiate between left and right alt, shift and control keys, leading to subtle issues nobody asked for?

In Vim I made a keyboard shortcut with alt and on the British layout it only works with the left alt key, on the US layout on both. Wat.