Stop f*cking calling me minority or part of a underrepresented group. Yeah I noticed I am one of the only women on a conference. I DONT CARE, I AM A PROGRAMMER NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. Hire me for my work, not because you want you company to be more diverse.

preface: I'm fucking exhausted and angry.

Why does everyone assume I know how to do frontend?
Why am I always the design girl?
Why?

You hire me to do backend. STOP GIVING ME FRONTEND DESIGN CRAP. I HATE IT.

AND STOP GODDAMN YELLING AT ME FOR NOT MAKING SOMETHING RESPONSIVE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW.

yes i can learn, but I CAN'T FUCKING PICK UP A SKILL LIKE THAT IN A DAY. Also, I fucking hate it.

STICK IT UP YOUR (min-width: 1400px) ASS.

But seriously, I've spent 13 hours today figuring out completely new things (webpack, susy, express.js, cloudinary, responsive best practices, more webpack) because the boss is in panic-mode (his preferred state) and wants this project released last monday.

guess what? it isn't done.
because i still don't know how to do everything. and ofc there's nobody to ask because there never fucking is.

Seriously, boss-man. hire a fucking designer, and stop being an illiterate sales goon while you're at it. ffs.

Me: Do you know what DDOS stands for?
New hire: Distributed database operating system.

Overheard a phone call of a collegue:

Person on phone (P): okay so how do I upload the code?
Colleague (C): well you could use filezilla for example
P: oh... okay... yeah.... So how does that work?
C: you said earlier that you were going to hire a more technical person, a developer, to develop this wordpress side, maybe he/she could help you out with this?
P: I am that developer.

C: 😶😐

I just got a mail from a software company in Denmark that they wanted to hire, because they "analyzed my open source GitHub contributions" and they think I'd be a good Backend Engineer using Java.

What they don't seem to realise is that the only thing I use GitHub for is college projects and 2 Minecraft mods, that I'm only 17 years old and not really in a position to move from the Netherlands to Denmark...

HR: "We want to hire you, but we shouldn't until after we finish this migration and set up an onboarding process. That should take about two weeks; is this okay?"
Me: "Yes, of course."

... two and a half weeks later ...

Me: "Hey, it's been awhile since our last chat. How's the migration and onboarding process going?" etc.
HR:

------

Ugh.
This is the same company that had me sitting by the phone waiting for an interview an entire day, and let me know their schedule got booked for the day three minutes before they went home. gg.

I should tell them to get bent.

This is how I feel most of my client proposal start:

* It's simple, I'd like to re-invent <the wheel>.

* All I want to do is use <rocketship engine> on <old typewriter>.

* I'm too cheap to hire a full-time < DBA, DevOps engineer, development team>. Can I pay you pennies?

* I'm poor and broke, can you do this for free?

* I'd like to <commit illegal act> and be <legal compliant standard>.

* I heard it was possible to <fly 30 people to the moon> using <Ford Model-T>. Please do this for us.

* I <sold my house>, but now <I'm locked out by the new owners>. Please help.

When doing a coding project for lawyers, hire a lawyer. That is all.

My local ISP was saving their database backups in an unprotected folder which was literally domain.com/backups

When I downloaded it contained thousands of their clients data.

Reported it to them and got 2 years of internet/tv services for free.

They wanted to hire me but I was still studying in my first year of uni in another city.

If you hire nine women to make a baby, you won't get a baby in one month.

But if you hire one woman a month and impregnate her immediately, it will still take you nine months to get the first baby, but after that you'll get one baby per month for the rest of the year.

That's the difference between latency and throughput (and that's also how pineapple farms work, since it can take up to a year to grow pineapples).

3 hours of interview end up asking me

“Are you Chinese”
“Why don’t you look and sound Chinese”
“We only hire Chinese speaking candidate”

After told them that I withdraw my application as they only hire “Chinese speaking candidate” , they started to yell “you not professional , you waste time , I will ban you for life, you quick quick go away.”

So I ended up telling people not to join that company.

Devs: We need access to PROD DB in order to provide support you're asking us for.

Mgmt: No, we cannot trust you with PROD DB accesses. That DB contains live data and is too sensitive for you to fuck things up

Mgmt: We'll only grant PROD DB access to DBAs and app support guys

Mgmt: <hire newbies to app support>

App_supp: `update USER set invoice_directory = 54376; commit;`

----------------
I have nothing left to say....

I was recently hired as a lead devops to a giant shit show. The CTO said he needs someone to do things correctly instead of quickly. This is a conversation I just had this morning

HR: We want you to interview a potential new DevOps engineer
ME: okay, when?
HR: Tomorrow
ME: I won't be able to create interview tests and materials for tomorrow. How's next week
HR: This hire is urgent! It has to be tomorrow
ME: Then you'll have to do the interview without me
HR: We need you to interview them because we've had a few bad hires in the past that we don't want to repeat
ME: The best way to filter out bad hires is with technical tests, which will take time to develop. I can be ready by next week.
HR: We can't give you a weeks notice for each hire, we are in urgent need for more devops.
ME: ...

Wife: "How hard is to make a phone app?"

Me: "Depends on what it is, why?"

Wife: "I had an idea for a cool app that does blah blah blah"

Me: "That actually sounds like a cool app. Let's brainstorm tonight and come up with a plan and see if we need to hire some freelance devs for it"

Wife: "Cool, I also want to make an app to blahblah2, oh and one to blahblah3.. oh hmm what about.."

<facepalm>

Product Owner: "need this doing in 6 months, can you do?"
Me: "we're too busy to start another project at the moment - can you wait about 6 months for it to start, or I'll have to hire more devs"
PO: "I'll just outsource it"

36 months later the company he outsourced to is out of business and hasn't delivered, and I've had their half-finished shit show git repo dumped on me.
No comments, no docs, and no units tests, so no fucking idea what it's supposed to do

“Please develop my complicated eCommerce website. The cost should be somewhere between $0 and $100 because I can do it with a template in Wix or SquareSpace or hire a bot non-person from Fiverr to do it for me if you don’t honor the price I’m asking.”

—United States

Interviewer: We keep having devs take off for other opportunities after a short period of time. We need someone loyal who will be sticking around for the long haul. Oh wait, you only have one dev company you’ve worked for on your resume? Yeah that’s not good, we only hire devs who have worked for lots and lots of companies.

Dev: …

this is the state of hiring tests:

1. can you take an english sentence, and without a tutorial, write a for loop?

2. okay now write a full parser. but not in the language we want to hire you in.

also we can afford to pay you in bananas, experience, and exposure.

p.s. we also need you to do this backend test because this is a backend job even though the ad is for front end and you specified an hour ago when the interview started that you only trained for front.

on the positive side, we have a ping pong table and a bean bag chair. and a two hour commute. Think of the benefits!

I applied for a job in a small gaming company. They rejected me by saying they can’t hire students.

I was cool with it because they didn’t waste my time and told me their decision right away. I started my own gaming company.

Fast forward 6 months later I went back with a business proposition. They accepted it. Its been 8 months now. Everything is going smooth.

I wonder how the secret service comes up with all these cool names for secret operations they do when i am sitting here thinking what to name one variable for last 30mins. I should probably hire someone from there as a variable namer dev..

Big "company summit" this week where everyone flies in and we discuss the future of the company (sadly not over drinks). I might be getting promoted with stock and pay increase, and allowed to hire another dev.

Yet, here I am, updating and sending out my resume, and hoping for something, anything.

A 30% raise wouldn't be enough to deal with all of this madness.

Manager: this is your first day in your first job right?

Me: yes mam!

Mngr: Good .. here take this system understand it and read all of the source codes.

Me: hmmm Umm ok ... where's the documentation?

Mngr: no documentations ... the contractor left without providing the documents for it so we need you to understand everything ... as we have alot of enhancements lined up for it ... and we're too cheap to hire someone with advanced knowledge on this ... goodluck!

Me: ......

Maaaaaaaa man has been programming in Swift since 1997; assuming the description was written this year.

To put that into perspective, that's two years after the founding of both Java and JS.

I'm sure he's programming with his mind right now while we mere mortals are waiting for it to be standard by 2120 😭

Finally recruiters can hire someone with 20 years of Swift experience. This position has been void for awhile now... Catch up guys!

Hats off to you man!!!!

Note: our PM is new.
PM: can you help me?
Me: sure, what do you need?
PM: where do the folders with all the techie stuff come from?

I had no context and spent the next 20 minutes trying to work out what folders she was on about. Turned out she wanted to know where the client side folders on our development server come from, was going to explain 'Gulp' and 'Branch' to her but I think I'd be there for the rest of the day... Why do 'tech' companies hire non-tech-savie people.

Told the new hire that for the first week they can just familiarise themselves with the JS framework, do the tutorials, and read through the code / docs.

Boss comes by Tuesday morning "you should be finished with all the tutorials by the end of the day"

Looks like we're throwing him in the deep end!

Context: new dev has Java and 3d games background. Our app is full stack JS

Interviewer : why should we hire you?

Me :*smiles because I have been preparing for this my whole fucking life*

Oh hell no

It's sad. My teammates are resigning :( Damn management for not taking care of people that they already have. You hire new people with higher pay and let your existing people with lower pay teach them. I just feel like resigning too.

Company: Hey finish off that degree and we will hire you as a "real developer".

Me: Hey I finished my degree and I applied for that internally posted developer position. How about making me a "real developer" now.

Company: ...

Company: ...

Finally replied today with generic email template thanking me for my interest and applauding me for my skills but sadly informing me I don't meet the requirements for the position.

W.T.F 😡

I think I might be done with this company.

Companies/Managers be like:
No, you cannot get a significant raise for being the best dev on the team. (EoY reviews from colleagues)
We would rather hire someone for more than you are asking for to do the same thing, then wait 3 months for them to become productive again.
So you can leave for some random position in another company that will pay more than you'd get here, even after the raise you've asked for.

Why?

-Welcome to our entry level positing with Xyz company. I know we told your recruiter we are very hands on with developers. But we aren’t. Also you will be the only developer and there is no team.

-uh…. Okay..

-for the first part of your interview we are going to have you write a program in node that will reach out to our api and sort medical data with our clients.

-so you want me to create something live, and you’re going to be using it before you hire me in the actual work place?

-if it works, yes. Then we will decide on if we will hire you or not.

Wtaf?

Job title: "Junior Application Developer"

Rest of job description: "4 years experience...Career level: Experienced hire/Professional"

Meaning: "Looking for a senior level programmer willing to work for a junior salary."

I hate job hunting.

*senior designer*

Last year I had a meeting with the newly hired Senior Graphics Designer.

She was presenting the new design of the company's website with all the features she wants.

After a few minutes, I asked her, did you design it as a responsive website?

"What is that?" She said. I said that the website should display or have atleast a design for mobile view and desktop view.

And she replied, "is that a requirement?"

Talks to myself: how the hell we hire designers like this?

PS, she earns 4x my salary

Hire a separate team to implement what the dev did and see them fail miserably.

Then ask the dev for the source code and try to adapt the original solution to your own needs, and, ofc, fail at that too.

Then keep your pride high and not ask the dev to help you

Boosts self-confidence every time :)

A company on my LinkedIn is looking for a Jedi programmer to hire again... I guess their first Jedi didn't fair so well.

So... GDPR.
And the deadline.
And I have no idea what to do.

What does it mean for one-man indie projects? Data protection officers? Companies? Controllers? Processors? EU employees? Argh.

Look, please, EU. Not everyone can afford to hire an entire team for this, when their current team is literally one person.

Yes, the GDPR is probably a step in the right direction, but I think I'll just stop collecting the data altogether.

(All data I collect is just user settings stored in a database, nothing more.)

Can someone point me in the right direction?

Aaaah, I fucking love it to death, when customers spontaneously decide to hire a separate, unrelated company to add new content pages to the website developed by our company.

That furuncle of a company must have had real pro devs to just create a new /html folder, dump their shit content in there and just manually add links in the existing CMS pages.
HOLY FUCK!
As you might already have expected, the /html folder contains:
- static *.html files for every page
- inline CSS in the *.html
- the crappiest PHP mailing script I have ever witnessed
- images with random resolutions, mostly too small

The layout of these puke-ridden pages obviously doesn't fit neither the existing color palette, nor has anything common with the current layout or typography at all.
These bastards don't even use Git!

Come on, dear customer, could you PLEASE fucking NOT hire a completely separate company to do OUR job?
PLEASE? PLEASE?!

I had to compare the whole deployment folder with our repo to find out what else these brain-damaged cunts changed in our code!

Client : I have a big budget for this Project

*delivers price*

Client : We have to go lower with the Price or I see myself forced to hire an indian developer

background : Client wasted over 70.000£ in the last 10 years on his Logistics Website. Why ? Kept hiring cheap "global leading it companies" from India

Manager: We have a new equity survey from HR that is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY. Anyone who doesn’t fill it out will be severely reprimanded for being against diversity in the workplace. We need this data in order to ensure we have the ABSOLUTELY EXACT ratio of EVERY minority so that we can show the people that we do not discriminate against ANYBODY for ANYTHING. One of the problems with hiring new people is that most people we want to hire turn out to be white and we are absolutely not allowed to hire any more white people because we are over the quota for white people. Now there’s a loophole to this, if that white person belongs to some sub-minority like they are muslim or gay or something like that it’s totally cool and we can show people we don’t discriminate on these things when making employment decisions!

Dev: That’s…not wh—

Mandatory Survey: Please select your sexual preferences and/or religion from the dropdown below.

Dev: jesus christ.

Hiring Manager: Thanks for interviewing for the position. But the things we listed as "nice to haves" are actually required for the job so we aren't going to hire you.

If you had a dollar for every time someone has told me "I have an app idea" , you would have enough money to hire me to build your app.

Marketing for Developers done RIGHT!

<!-- Hey Payoneer Its better to hire me... im better in posting ads on fb and more better in writing codes -->

Frontend dev for 10+ years here.

"We can't afford to hire you as a senior, so your job title will be 'Frontend Developer' and your tasks will carry less responsibility than expected from a senior"

One year in, team of 2 handling 3 projects.

After merging with the parent company, we got business cards, mine describe me as a "Senior Frontend UI Engineer".
"Well, our customers only trust seniors, otherwise we can't send you to them".

Meanwhile a former colleague earns >1000€ more a month.

Yeah, fuck you too bosses!

Boss: We need to hire more people, lower your technical requirements.
Me: Why not just hire interns. They're cheaper, we can mold them into the role faster, and most interns get hired after school and stay for years.
Boss: ... we can do that?

The boss knows I started off as an intern at the company. 🙄

He wanted to hire me as CTO but insisted of defining architecture himself even though he admitted he has no tech background. He insisted that his CRM doesn’t even need backend because “we have database”. He was dysgraphc but completely ignored accessibility, including measures for dyslexic people. He called his product “startup” but denied that startups need to constantly validate ideas and denied the conception of a/b testing, offering no alternative.

He also wanted me to work for free.

Bruh you’re not a clown, you’re an entire circus.

Most awkward recruiter interaction was probably when I had to tell a staffing agency that I didn't want to work for them because I had already worked for them and left.

I got into IT by working for a staffing agency and I was contracted out to a large company's IT call center. Doing the usual sort of level-one tech support stuff. After my contract term ran out (and upon reminding my boss that she wouldn't be my boss for much longer if she didn't hire me away from the staffing agency), I was hired on full-time.

Six months later I left the call center and moved on to a cloud server development job in the same company. Not long after that, I got a message on LinkedIn from the staffing agency, offering to hire me on as a contractor working for one of their largest partners in the area.

I responded asking for more details, just for fun. The company I'd be working for, etc. Then I had to inform them that I had in fact previously worked for their firm, and now worked at the company that they were offering to contract me out to, and earning a fair bit more money than they were offering.

They didn't even look at my employment information on LinkedIn before sending the InMail. Just glanced over my skills, saw the magic buzzword "devops," and sent me a message.

When you've been programming in Visual Studio for 2 years at a company and they hire an intern to help you program.

I set him up with git and the version of Visual Studio we share.

First thing he does is change the theme from dark to light and therefore changing my machine to light since we share the account... Already disliked

The whole "first job" and "experience" situation is fucked up.

How on God's green earth am I supposed to get tucking experience if you cock suckers won't hire someone for their first job? Like fucking hell.

It's not like I'm going for a "skill demanding" job... I'm trying get a fucking cashier job. I'm fairly certain I can run a cash register and stock the shelves of a store without any experience doing it. It's not exactly rocket science...

I just need some fucking money.

End of adventures of the COO and Start of a new beginning

It takes years to improve a company and takes only a few months for a dumbass with shit for brain to take it all down

After four years working ( underpaid ) in a digital advertising agency helping the company grow, getting global exposure and few awards later, last Friday was my last day

To all the future and current CEO's out there, Don't hire someone just cause you know them, hire them for their skills or their brain power

I've seen fucking clay pots with more brains than this COO

This one time at an internship I was getting flamed for not 'coding' valid html5 (me being a backend dude) after some painful hours it was html5 valid... Only to then get flamed on for the text being one pixel off or something... I mean if you want a front end intern then don't look and hire a backend

Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff

Just saw a job ad for a company they were asking for one developer they wanted software developer x 7 and senior developer x 2.

How cheap is that? If you want to hire people do so but don't bundle them up, the description for what is required is funny too, I love how companies don't even know any standard way of asking for a specific role just blurt you need this this and this senior is that plus knows how to lead, cool.

Is this really a real requirement: "Visual Studio experience"?

Or is this just some piss take?

My supervisor's flaky attitude is annoying the shit out of me.
Mate, why would you agree to hire me for the project I wanted to do (and get me to move halfway across the planet) and then tell another colleague that I'm focusing too much on my project and they should give me their extra work?

Like, I get it but I don't get it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

HR is getting so desperate they are prescheduling me interviews attached with CVs in the hopes that I will interview the candidates for a senior, even though the candidates have no experience whatsoever in embedded software programming. Workday, JIRA and Excel does not count you absolute fucknuggets.

For fuck sake, I asked management to hire new grads or juniors, at least I can get a person motivated to learn, but I swear they just don't listen.

They just are content with wasting my time lol

Similar to other countries if you work in international projects and companies.

If you work for big government related / small domestic company projects you can meet with comments and variables named in native language instead of english.

Just because there are probably only 2-3 companies who win every government project, they take all money and pay shit to developers.
To meet requirements they mostly hire fresh graduates to do the job.
CEO of one of those most famous quote is: You can replace every developer with finite number of students.

Downside of being a developer without design skills & creativity.

--

Yesterday, i created a simple food ordering app for our office. I shared it to my dev colleagues and got a decent feedback (except for the new hire). But when shared it to people like writers and graphic designers. I feel a bit off.

Graphic D: "The app should not use a blue color scheme. because blue is an UNAPPETIZING COLOR", "The yellow color is too vibrant"

Writers: They are blabbing about the grammar and spellings :(

New Hired Dev: Can you share me the codes?

** I always trying to learn how to do webdesign but i think its not really for me :(

Fuck you sideways stupid ass clowns of HR people.

If you don't want to hire me, it's okay. What is not okay it's to steal several days of my life with your idiotic multi-step interviews, telling me I did awesome and you'd like to hire me as soon as possible, then actively avoid any contact for three whole fucking weeks, just to finally tell me you've chosen someone else with a more prestigious degree but way less actual experience in the field. You'll come to me begging soon and I'll laugh in your faces.

For myself, I choked on the following:

- "Why do you want to work for us?"
- "Why us, specifically?"
- That stupid logic test with the guys wearing the red and white caps
- "Convince us how you're not overqualified. We're simple people."
- "Convince us how you're not going to leave us in the long run."
- Stupid db test: here is a scenario. You have 15 minutes to write an entire relational db with 20 tables, keys, relationships..
- "Why would we want to hire you?"

Attention Software Engineers!

Quit shooting yourselves in the fucking foot! And this ESPECIALLY goes to new grads. I get that you have just finished school. I get that you need a job! But don't fucking settle for a $30-$40k salary because you're "entry level"! The only reason why there are employers who offer that type of salary is because they know that there are enough idiots who will settle for it!

On average, an entry level software engineer's salary is between $50-$60k at the very least! For Senior developers, it is at least $80K/year (although an argument can be made for why they shouldn't settle for less than $100k/year).

Each time a moron low balls his/her salary, that brings down the market value for that talent. And keep this in mind! They don't have a choice but to hire you. They could choose to outsource their work to poorer countries but they don't want to do that due to obvious quality-related reasons so they HAVE TO hire you if they need the work done. And since the ball is in YOUR COURT, demand your fair salary. You went to school for 4 fucking years. You dealt with that stress for 4 fucking years. Why settle for a salary that you could've made without going to school?

Leaving my current company for another opportunity. Boss has been working remote for almost a week now. When he shows up at the office, behaves like I don't exist anymore. Throwing in comments like "let's hire this guy, he's got some actual AI experience and not some academic bulls**t" while making sure I definitely hear them. His childish behavior leaves me wondering here what he thinks he'll achieve with it. At least makes me to look forward to get out of here. Oh well... Only couple of weeks left to put up with this.

When I was a beginner ppl told me
"French companies hire Indian developers because they're cheaper"

Today ? Oh I'm working for an Indian company.

This was a comment I made on another ranter's post.

* Tailor your resume (and cover letter if needed) according to the job. No generic resume.
* Research about the company and make sure you have the same interests as the company. Clearly let them know why they should hire you. One question you can expect is: Why should we hire you?
* Show them that you're passionate about the job.
* Be curious. Ask questions. That's how they'll know you're interested.
* Be open to opportunities. Let's say you're applying for Full Stack developer role. Be open to take up Front End or Back End developer role. You don't have to accept everything but at least roles tangent to your job (provided they match your interest).
* Be flexible but focused.
* You don't have to know every listed requirement but make sure to know the majority.
* Don't lie. "Fake it till you make it" doesn't work with dev roles.
* Be confident in telling them "you don't know" if you don't know. Also make sure to tell you're willing to learn that.

I will start my own companies:-
A.I. Job Centre (true A.I. would get bored of their employer and search for greater challenges)
A.I. Counselling (dev life)
A.I. Pornsites (because all A.I. should have a binary life of work and play <3)
A cake factory (so the cake is not a lie)
A.I. devRant (to lower their work efficiency)

I then use the funds from the above to hire a team and we'd develop a flawless Wannacry for A.I. (for a dementia like effect)

You can all have your jobs back and you're welcome.

An online shop ... something like Amazon Shopping for South East Asia keeps on sending me their newsletter even though I have already unsubscribed. I wish they'd hire me to take care of their email service.
Although I doubt this is a bug and perhaps one of a schemes of the marketing department and they are already aware of this. Sneaky corporate bastards.

What was your most disappointing moment as a software developer?

Mine was the realization that when you're working for someone, all they want to see is the final product. The people paying you don't give a shit whether you put your braces on a new line, your domain model doesn't call a database directly or if you're applying the best practices. Your teammates do, but the people paying you don't.

People hire you to get the job done, and that job is to solve a problem for someone. Not in the way that's best for you, but in the most effective way for them. Since I realized this, I lost some pride in my work.

Stages of being a self-taught developer.
first: you think you have taught yourself enough to apply for a job.

second: A Company actually believes you. Evidence? They hire you.

Third: You realize you don't know anything.Evidence?
Me in my head
I thought I was good at this. I don't know anything. I should probably switch back to nutrition(my previous job).Why am I struggling with this? Who even struggles this much with APIs??

Was approached by a (serious) recruiter and the project they're looking to hire for is a 3 year contract, remote and actually sounds really interesting and right up my alley.

Cue the self doubt.

Scared shitless I won't pass the bog standard PHP skill assessment test.

SHUT UP BRAIN.

When the project you've been working on gets canned at 85% completion since your project stakeholder decides to go back to the contractor he was initially trying to replace...

How's your morning, fellow devs?

Ive reached a point where seeing the telegram logo with the little santa hat makes me so happy that i smile for hours because everything else sucks so much. Can we just burn formal education to the ground and only hire <30yro people as professors?

Oh gosh... This week a "friend" of mine will have a job interview for a company I am working at. This guy really just can't Code. He has no understanding of clean code, abstraction etc. He just knows the basics. But he loves to brag how good he is and got his bachelor degree. Damn I hate this guy and I hope HR won't hire him.

There's nothing that screams "junior" more than a graduate dev dressed up in a suit awkwardly posing for a LinkedIn photo.

Seriously, stop it, and stop listening to whoever tells you to don a suit so you're taken seriously. Maybe in marketing, HR or finance - but that's not how devs think, or hire people.

Does anyone else lose respect for IT or programming companies that use OTHER companies to make their websites?

You mean to tell me, you want me to hire you to make a website, when you can't even make your own? Not happening.

I am feeling little fucked up.
I talked to one of the female employees from my new company, I'll be joining next month.
She asked manager to hire a girl in the team, I know she casually asked but after knowing this, I know my interviews were surprisingly easy, I mean I know already that no one asked me to optimize anything... did the fucking hired me for diversity, pay is good, people are good, work is good but seriously if I'm getting hired for the fucking diversity my manager is going to have a good speech from me and I'll move from his team for sure.

Trying to hire entire IT department but you have a budget for a single person.

Flying back to NY for my last semester.
Don't know how to feel about it.
Let the job hunting begin!
Pssst... Please hire me

When recruiters try to hire you for a position that you have no experience or interest in... "You write code, right? I know someone you should talk to!"

All I'm saying is that if we want speech completely locked down on all social media platforms, simply hire the StackOverflow mods and the problem is solved. Nobody will be able to post anything unless the mods believe it's worthwhile for everyone to read and respond to.

That's it. That's the rant.

Treat software development like a trade. Because it is one.

Would you hire someone to build a shed for you if you needed to supply the hammer and saw and they needed to read a "How to Build Sheds" book to just get started? No, you wouldn't.

So why would you hire someone that doesn't have any kind of ready-to-go dev environment?

Why would you hire someone that doesn't understand the basics of this field?

Why do you expect employees to stop what they are doing and teach the new guy everything he should already know, or be able to figure out on his own based on his own experience?

Family reaction to me being a dev (and offering to replace their home/personal IT guy with google drive and a mesh wifi network):

We're going to hire an IT guy because they have more experience doing this kind of thing. BITCH, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 15 YEARS!!!

smh.

Why hire a Native iOS Developer when you're going to let him develop an iOS app to look EXACTLY like its Android counterpart?

There's hybrid and cordova for that if you want your apps to look and feel exactly the same.

Can't we all just agree to appreciate the distinct differences in UI for both platforms? Navigation especially? Copy context not UI.

Do any other teen programmers find it frustrating that clients will only hire us for a lower price? I understand it's a matter of experience, but I still feel designing and programming an iOS app is worth more than $2500...

Why do big companies hire such loser engineers ??? I mean what the hell man. When you are hiring a fresher to code they should at least know how to apply/write a for loop. I once had a colleague who assigned each array element individually instead of writing a for loop and asked me why I refused to approve his stupid code. What do I reply to this ? It was so dumb, I could not articulate an answer.

Why is every innovation trying to go towards "replacing programmers"? like, what have we done to you?

GitHub CoPilot will replace programmers!
AI will replace programmers!
This/That tech will replace programmers!

Nobody says,

"Programmers work remote so we don't need to hire managers anymore!"

"Programmers wrote a monitoring script for progress tracking, so no need for managers anymore!"

"We are asking people to install sprinklers everywhere so we don't need firefighters!"

"We can just have one teacher record the subject material once and re-use the same video every year, so now we don't need to hire teachers anymore!"

"We are making everything legal so we don't need to hire policemen!".

Why is everything trying to replace programmers?

Boss: Let's hire a new person to help us recreate our website
Us: sounds good!
Boss doesn't hire anyone and starts the website on his own
Boss: I started the new website. It's in server X and the address is test.y.com. I also want all of us to work on it
Me thinking: great he just wants us to modify the hosted files like he does 🙄
Me: I'll move a copy to GitHub for version control.
Boss: Great!
Boss creates a backup folder on the same computer and folder path that the hosted files are on.

Someone please nuke that server so my boss learns version control like I've asked before. I think I'll opt not to work on a website where he and my other co-workers will just overwrite each other's changes because he doesn't want to learn to git 😑

Some prankster on upwork is trying to swindle me out of paying me because they didn't "hire" me through upwork even though he asked me to send an "example" of my rendition of what I would do for their logo. Once they told me they went with someone else even after performing the requested "example," I promptly asked who to invoice. "They're going to go talk to the boss and see what they can work out."

Working in a organization that hire people that don't know what they doing and can't ask a question correctly...

HELP WE'RE GETTING AN ERROR IN OUR CODE WHILE TRYING TO GET DATA FROM YOUR DB... PLZ FIX IT

WTF IS NOT WORKING, WHAT ARE YOU QUERYING, WHAT IS THE ERROR?

**Sends a SQL query but with ? for all the parameters**

WTF..... U PPL ARE IDIOTS.... CAN'T EVEN ASK A QUESTION CORRECTLY OR PROVIDE NECESSARY INFORMATION... CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WTF UR DOING..

EVEN GOD CAN'T HELP YOU...

When management hire consultants to tell them the same thing you're telling them. It's just more meaningful because they paid more for the information.

8 days till end of contract.
Let’s hope nobody nice want to hire me for at least a month.
I need vacation badly.

dont you just hate it when u want to hire devs but they ask for too much money so you decide to hire interns with experience ?

i became what i always despised

Boss : "Hey everyone is so busy/too good to work on that project but it's really complicated af and you'll be alone. Good luck ! Oh and we are ok to hire you next year after your apprenticeship, work well and without pressure !"

Me : O_o "Ok I'll do my best, shoudn't be that complicated"

Me (1 month after) : demotivated, sick of that mission, tired, algorithm not working, I wanna die I'm a parasite for that company. Thanks giving me that work to do.

I quit my education to go on a path to become a self-taught developer. It doesn't work out that well. I still have a part time job. Which doesn't cover all my expenses. I don't have a degree and nobody wants to hire me. I am getting a second job which leaves me little time for coding. Soooo yeah... Mistakes were made.

Hate these managers.

I started working on a company 6 months back. When i joined i was told such amazing things about this place. I was given a job to develop a tool for a client. I did that alone. Now that the final deployment is done i am not needed there any more. I can start looking for outside work. WTF why would you hire a guy if you want him to work for only 3-4 months when you can hire a consultant or someone on contract or mention that in beginning. Fuck you even i want to leave this place now as soon as possible but still have to see their stupid faces for next 2 weeks.

Sometimes I feel like I have to hire a boss for myself. I would tell what shall I work on, and his job would be schedule my time and make deadlines.

For half a year, I couldn't find a job. Now I can't find any to hire. WTF, that doesn't make sense.

So, I was buying a new WiFi connection, had some doubts about the speed, visited the Regional Office Incharge for a demo... Asked him the speed... Dude didn't know the difference between MBps and Mbps... Pretty much gave up on the service provider.
How the fuck people hire such dumb fucks.

In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.

Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!

Waiting for an interviewee since over half an hour.
20 minutes ago he called from a local undertaker searching us... From there it is a 5 minute walk to our company.

I guess we don't hire someone who cannot use Google Maps to determine the location of a company...

When your manager asks for, but ignores, your feedback on new developers after interviews, because "we need to hire so the project is done in 6 months"...

Proceeds to hire 4 junior front-enders with limited/non-existanttt Javascript experience...

😓🔫

Learn Clojure and use it instead of Bash / Python for one-line terminal tasks.
Reach 8k$ per month on current project.
Hire few students and make real devs from them.
Watch and enjoy the dawn of cross-platform frameworks for mobile platforms.

Why would companies ever hire a manager from a non-tech background, at least for managing engineers? After reading @IAmNotARobot's latest rant I just have to ask because it makes absolutely no sense to me. Surely non-tech people should be reserved for managing non-tech roles like sales, HR, and maaaaybe team leads, right? How can you manage someone if you don't understand anything of what they do?

Kind of awkward for me.

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job and my department is starting to work full time remote tomorrow.

I start my new job this next Monday, and they went full remote yesterday. As of now they're shipping my laptop my way, but they cancelled new hire orientation on Monday and moved it to the following week. I haven't heard about what is expected for Monday yet, guess I'll know soon!

How do you get experience for a position if noone will hire to get experience?

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Me:
-Lack of experience
-slow learner/fast learner
-not really a team player
-always keep a positive attitude
-but when I started doing smthing, I'll finish it.
-willing to learn

I wonder if anyone would still hire me to their company.. Let me know.. I fucking hate my workplace and the owner. You hire me for doing smthing else, and you always told me to do smthing else that is not even related to my job. I'm not your fucking ass cleaner. = = you shit on that thing, you clean it yourself. Fucking fucking fuck!

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Yeah sure, drown me in administrative work and then plan to hire another dev to help because I can't keep up.
Are you kidding me?
F*cking hire someone for the KPI and that stuff!

Some backstreet fine artist come designer came to me wanting a website, her brief was a moonpig.com but for wedding stationery. I asked her if she had a million plus marketing budget for launch and a shit pile of cash, or was it just really some simple website that people can hire you to design bespoke wedding stationery. In the end she agreed it was just another basic website for peanuts. Either way the answer was fuck off, use squarespace or some other shit that you can fuck about in and cut me out of the process, I don’t want your tiny pittance and months of can you just.

You know what's bullshit? CS Degrees as a requirement, even for the shittiest dev jobs.

Sorry fuckers, I don't feel like killing myself over fucking math bullcrap for 3 goddamn years just to work as an intern slave for some rich CEO who prefers to hire some guy who doesn't know shit about actual working with computers but has a degree.

And this horseshit happens only in dev jobs. Why. Are devs some fucking nuclear scientists or something? I work as sysadmin and they didn't ask me for any shit degree and I earn more than the average code monkey where I live.

Goddamn HR fuckers. May Allah take you to hell.

- finish my project's backend, make a proto frontend
- throw the proto away and hire someone to do it for me. Or at least make the design...
- learn that freaking k8s ffs...
- if there will be spare time left - move from on-prem to aws/gcp, maybe launch an alpha

- improve my people skills
- bump my salary significantly

I'm not jumping on your shitty bandwagon on LinkedIn for a "world-wide customer", "really important" .. and fucking shady blah blah blah to hire me.

I PICK the company I want to work for.
I RESEARCH the company I want to work for.
I DECIDE where I'm gonna be miserable,
it's my fucking choice.

You ain't selling it to me, keep sending your shitty messages i'm trashing as soon as I get them.

"you're over-qualified for this position, sorry we can't hire you!"

Well, I never expected to hear something like that during an interview but I guess there is a first time for everything 😂.

Feelin' not prepared but also prepared for code samples and tech interviews. Can companies just believe that we are capable of building awesome shit & hire us?! You feel me?

designrant / As a prepress media designer who study part time interaction design on fridays, I'm fucked. Every agency in switzerland is searching like crazy for Senior UX Interaction Designer. Because of that, they wont hire me as junior, until i have my degree as interaction designer. And printshops won't hire me because of my study. They say I'm overqualified as a prepress operator. fml! :-/

Should i be posting on devRant to hire a fellow devRanter for a project in my company? (temporarily but may become constant if we click well)

More info:
Looking to hire a mostly frontend react dev.

The project is about graph visualisation and traversal.

Our stack is python (flask, appbuilder, SQLalchemy), react, react d3-graph, jest.

Must know how to use git and pull-requests.

(The software is based on Apache superset)

The code is a bit of a mess. But let's be honest, which big project isn't?

why is it everybody wants to hire a head of a department all the time

like that's just super weird to me

wouldn't it make more sense to hire someone into a lower position, have them learn from head of a department, then get promoted because you know they'll head the department to your standards then?

but most posts want you to already be head of a department... and it's like, I don't know your department. what the hell happened to the last head of department? why do so many people need heads of department? why the hell are they choosing to get them from outside the company?

somehow none of this makes any sense to me
like I'm literally just so confused why people hire seniors and expect them to automatically know the way the company does things
it just literally doesn't make sense

promote your underlings? then hire more underlings to sus them out?
WHY ARE YOU HIRING SENIOR STAFF FROM OUTSIDE YOUR COMPANY, LITERALLY NOBODIES, AND GIVING THEM TONS OF AUTONOMY AND CONTROL OVER OTHERS IN YOUR COMPANY, THATS SO CONFUSING

worse yet I hear most people just lie when they apply so it's like... are you rotating irresponsible lying people through senior positions at your company over and over again, as they attrition your underlings and eventually get fired for incompetence?

WHAT IS THE STATE OF THIS ECOSYSTEM

I'm currently working as a full stack web developer.
Now to my situation. Me and my team partner are part of a bigger dev department. My department lead now wants to split his responsibility into smaller groups. All groups get a new lead out of the group of devs except mine... No let's put together web and hardware development. It's not like I already coordinate all web and app related stuff. But hey let's hire a new guy for this... Hopefully someone with the same knowledge of the web as my current lead... Like none...

Why can't people just do their fucking jobs? How hard is it to understand? Managers keep time, resources and risks in check and inform the developers. Developers develop and test the system. How the fuck do we have manager for agile, manager for program a manager for program b, risk mitigation manager, this shit manager that shit manager . For fucks sake with this much management we should be like fuckin bee nest and not an unorganized mess. In the end it turns out that literally there are more managers than developers just because they cannot fire an incapable idiot and they hire the next one. It is plain fucking simple - if you are not fit for the job get lost or make yourself fit. For fucks sake.

It really makes me wonder are there any well organized companies out there?

Wow I'm jobless now due to inflations now no companies here in Malaysia wants to hire me.

I looked at linkedin realised I am not the only one who is facing this issue.

Most company in Malaysia declared bankruptcy. Massive retentions.

Looking remote jobs from overseas, got ghosted.

Hey @devrant want to hire me to reprogramme devrant for 3500USD? Hihihihi😈😈😈🤡

WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE FROM MEGACORPS??

Yes, am looking at you EMC, Oracle and IBM. Either they have tons of portals-e-delivery-shittorama or their softwares suddenly disappear for n amount of time without notice. Mix this up with broken links or CONSTANTLY REBRANDING YOUR SHITTY PRODUCTS SO YOU NEED TO HIRE A PERSONAL ASSISTANT THAT ONLY WORKS WITH TRACKING THESE PORTALS TO HELL

Also, your websites are slow as shit.
Thank you.

There are too many people that consider software engineering a "job". Anyone else here love the process, people and programming? How do people end up at these bad companies and WHY DO THEY STAY??!?!?! There is so much demand for programmers, designers, software engineers, et al. Such that I do not understand how people stay at these companies that hire people who want to make money instead of code.

When your legacy retarded old as fuck frameworks are slowly dying and instead of migrating to new backend framework, losing some money but improving quality of our products dipshits in charge hire vue.js developer to try to replace jquery with vue just to keep this 10 years old legacy zombie crap alive for 2 more years..

How can you be this fucking retarded greedy motherfucking morons... it shouldnt even be possible

I work at a small company (less than 10 developers). We tried to do code review but all of our projects are "work for hire" for our clients and we always have deadlines. Code review step always had the least priority and whenever the deadline gets closer, we would stop doing code review all together.

Finally we are starting our own projects and we are planning on hiring more developers and interns. I think code review will have a higher priority now.

I can see why companies hate hiring junior devs. The ones I've worked with have been incompetent. If I was the hiring manager, the only time I'd hire a full fledged junior dev for a full stack role is if they have already built a simple full stack website. Ugh.

I’m searching for a engineering management job… I was told by two recruiters from two separate companies that they were going to give me offers and that I was an amazing hire… They then ghosted me for a week and then didn’t give me an offer.

FML

After seeing all these photos of people in stores full of rubber ducks, I just want to start a rubber duck store for the sole purpose of meeting devs by asking anyone who takes a picture if they are a dev.

Maybe this will be how they hire devs in 20 years...

Just got another email from Amazon recruiting. I deleted it but then thought of a response...

I've found preparing for your interviews and the chance of me getting through is so time consuming and so low that it's better use of my time and effort (way easier) just buying your shares and profiting off the results of whoever you actually hire.

Got a new job last year. Didn't want to be a contractor so they said contract to hire for what I thought was 6 months. When I get there, they said they meant a year. Fine. 18 months just passed and they renewed my contract for 3rd time without even mentioning full employment.

Now, because still a contactor, IT is making all non-essential contractors take two weeks of unpaid leave last two weeks of the year. Guess who was on that list?

I have only a week of pto from recruiter company to soften the blow but have to start over saving up for next trip.

Needless to say, already searching hard for my way out of there.

HR:why do you want to join this company?
My friend(trying to be oversmart):why do YOU want to hire me?
Result rejected :D
PS: He has gone to CMU for masters so zero fucks given from his side.

I finish my internship in dev the next week and my supervisor wants to hire me as a Business Analyst, for that I have to pass some tests in an assessment center.. I hope I will success it ! 👊

Lately I take work literally seriously, not due to motivation but due to fear, more on that later, but this is what I think about lately while I'm working

> that line of code should fix it
> oh shit I should've checked logs
> let me check logs
> let me put 10 breakpoints in code and javascript in chrome
> why is this bug not reproducing?
> why I have to work on someone else's spaghetti code?
> this loop iterates over all customers' data I'll just step over it, Oh fuck I resumed

etc etc

I'm feared because where I live, isn't a good place for software developers as there aren't companies which hire, those who hire need ninja developers who complete 1 JIRA Sprint/Phase in 1 day, Here I feel safe as there are people to correct me plus coffee machine

Basically,

- No such thing as specialty, you are either a full stack dev who develops all aspects of a project and deploys it or your a jobless dev. Its asking too much of companies to pay more than one dev for one project regardless of scale. Paying minimum wage for a single dev is more than enough!

- You develop for a company, if by any chance you find someone willing to hire freelancers, your insane if you ask for more than 500 USD on a full fledged e commerce system coz a couple of wordpress companies do it for less !

Basically, dont be a dev in Lebanon.

Upper mgmt paying an enterprise software vendor 40k US annually. Told vendor No more me QA'ing for them and 'discovering' obvious bugs. Told them to hire QA person and spring for some automated testing software. Yeah I know I am a nice guy but Enough is enough!

client asks me to setup a form that emails on their site... no problem. didnt know what they actually wanted was for me to set up an email server.... im a terrible terrible sys-admin. no one should hire me for that kind of work.

We recently hired a new head for one of our office districts and I am absolutely horrified how bad she is at using computers. It’s like she has never used a computer before!

Where do they get this guys and why do they hire them!?

Welcome to ROAST YOUR BOSS BATTLE part 1

I will go first.

"Your personality is a complete horror movie with a Snapchat filter in disguise."

"If you working for heaven God will personally hire you just re-fire you for eternity."

"You are wasting resources, there are approximately 5 trees that provide you oxygen, go find them and apologies."

"Your mother should swallow you instead of giving birth to you, and this world will be less of one idiot."

buy company for $44 billion
fire 50% of staff
spend 3 months on various different checkmark policies
company now worth less than $20 billion
hire new CEO
fail to elaborate further

Working for unappreciative fucktard clients who believe they know more about dev than a seasoned professional and try to give me advise on how to approach my work and or solve programming issues. FUCK Sake if you know it then don't hire me you fucktard client.

My best experience is working for a small company and bridging their disconnected systems together using an array of programming languages such as Go, PHP, VB, Batch Script, Javascript and C

In my current job, I was let go of the project I was handling for almost two years in place for a new hire with less experience. The reason is that I got complacent while sacrificing code quality as more similar tasks were assigned. I'm glad it happened and grateful for all the code practices I've learned. Transferring to a new project with the same client though. 😂

When you work for a dev shop and one of the clients buys you out of your non compete to hire you directly. Now I'm my old bosses boss :)

I really dislike micromanagement. I don't want to dictate details. I don't like hierarchies where my direct reports obey me.

The only thing that obeys me is my hands, with them, I write the exact code I want. I don't hire another pair of hands. I hire another brain.

When you see your direct reports as professionals, you can give declarative tasks: "make a pretty website footer", "make that page load quicker". If you leave implementation details for your direct reports to decide, this doesn't mean they'll fuck up. They are professionals too, and if you personally interviewed them, you better believe they can handle it.

Apparently if you go to an interview desperately filled with hope, your eyes and body language will rat you out and people won't want to hire you. Ok, so they want to hire someone who's not desperate for a job? That's not easy to hide..

Finally put in my notice to quit a job that has been going nowhere for a while...

... and now moving on to a new opportunity as the first hire of an exciting new startup.

Few days are better that the day you quit a job.

Today is a good day

Partner wants to hire a freelance consultant for iOS development, (because I cant make anything out of their retarded ecosystem), on my advise.

After a year im still getting paid 0$/h, and we have to hire someone...

Is this the point where i wear a dunce hat?

Going in for a restaurant interview today because no tech companies want to hire a college student, but I have to get by somehow....

Product was not thrilled with our estimates we gave them for the next phase of our project. So they got the veep to give us 2 new team members - a new hire and an existing senior - in hopes that it will allow us to finish a lot sooner.

Because 9 women can make a baby in a month, right? Gods forbid we consider removing anything from the scope of this phase. Mind you, there's still another phase planned after this one before we even release the product.

Hot take:

Want to bloat the shit out of your product and want to lose the core USP?

Want to stop solving the problem you set out to address?

HIRE A PRODUCT MANAGER.

PMs are expert at shit show. We fuck up everything.

God I hate my profession.

When I start my company, the mandatory rule for every PM will be that if you want to add or enhance a feature, they will have to remove a feature. Whoever fails to do so will be punished by having to clean up the code base and work in sales for a quarter.

!rant: I need a little advice from fellow devs. I've come to the conclusion that development is not the right career path for me, but how to advance from here?

I've worked a little over a year as dev/scrum master and lately I've been assigned small project management tasks. I really liked the project management stuff, and I like talking to stakeholders and converting their ideas into well described requirements and development tasks.

But who will hire a junior level engineer with no formal project manager training or certifications?

What kind of jobs could I apply for?

So I was referred to an ai tech startup that's building a bot that you can talk to about your career n experience and it will suggest and connect you to companies looking to hire. I was really excited when I saw their site and signed up for their beta.

Well I got an invite and tried talking to it but it doesn't respond...

Not a good sign right?

3 years (since Sep 2016 til now) and counting. 0€.
Building my own project from scratch. IDK if this is the right thing for this week's topic, but it answers the question.

I do have my paid 9/5 tho. But the code I write after is my personal and it's not yet bringing me any moneros.

It seems it's gonna need at lest another year, so next Nov it'll be 4 years w/ 0€ :) Maybe even some -x€, since I'm horrible at design - will prolly have to hire someone to do it for me

A manager just walked in and asked us to stop advertising a for hire advertisement for one of our stores... Okay no big deal right?

Yeah accept he followed up by asking if we could run an ad that told people that we have hired someone now.

Wouldn't that be like a hotel buying advertising that says they no longer have vacancy?

Me:
- 4+ years of experience
- Great Portfolio
- Great Github profile
- Worked at some succesful startups.

Interviewer:
- Uhmm sorry we can't hire you for this frontend job because you couldn't complete this whiteboard bubble sort test in c++.

Got an invitation for a telecon this afternoon. Just "some quick questions"(tm).
You stupid smurf dick, write them fucking down so that I can fucking prepare useful answers and probably eliminate the whole dumb telecon at all.
I declined the telecon, problem solved. No fucking questions means no fucking telecon. I won't burn through the project budget for ventilating your dick, you can hire a hooker for that one on your own cost centre.

I see all the top devs using cool onboarding graphics, like the one attached for todoist, is there a site or marketplace for these kinda graphics or they have to hire dedicated graphics experts ?

Do y'all use Blazor? .-. the C#-based web-UI (web assembly one)
Thinking of going in on it hard coz I hate to think of a world where backend is written in JS (🤮) just for better interoperability with JS-based UI and cheaper devs to hire (JS-fullstacks) 🤮🤮🤮

Any can hire a Venezuelan guy as web developer? I work for food 😂

I started working for a forex company as a web developer, designer and also a online marketer, so when i was doing the designing part the boss of mine became very happy as he can see the results of my work.

But from few days I was doing the backend part and fixing some security flaws. Today i recieved a message saying that if you are not capable or free to do the work i will hire someone else for the work.

Working under people who doesn't know difference between http and https sucks.

!dev

Why the FUCK do bank waiting lines have to be so fucking long? And why do these old cunts have to spend 30+ minutes in the booth each? If this goes on, I'll have to wait in line for THREE FUCKING HOURS just to raise my fucking daily transaction limit! And all I fucking wanted was to order the parts for my new goddamn rig! If you have too many cocking clients to handle, hire an extra worker or five!

That moment when you hire someone for a small part of the protect and they suggest you to re-write the entire project using a different language/framework.

I know this is supposed to be in bossRant. But hey not all bosses aren't developers.

hi guys I've got a question for you

what if your manager asks for a programmer of a certain programming language (that you know but is not a master of it) for a certain project and there are only few people you know who would volunteer and they might hire other people if they don't find people inside, would you volunteer yourself given that you don't have any project with you right now or no?

thanks for those who will answer! :)

PS background abt me: univ. student, no experience in the industry yet

OMGGGG... One week ago when I was hired, for web developer they said we need ppl in Laravel but I was towards react ( also when I did interview I said I will most likely go to react) . Okay so I agree to Laravel.. ofc I want the job but today they hire a person for react 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

Wao

So. Many. Irrelevant. Emails.
STOP IT.

It's getting to the point where I'm considering running a course for recruiters called "how not to annoy the fucking shite out of the people you're trying to hire / not be be reported as spam".

URGH.

As a developer I never understood the intended benefit of standups. Issues + a scrum/kanban board like trello or GitHub project + a chat for quick questions or to schedule an ad-hoc pair programming session should be enough to make everyone know everything they need to know about the project status at any time.

Obliging developers to talk in a group session to reiterate in a more verbose way what they already wrote down when working on it, will make a lot of people uncomfortable. Talking too much or not complying to the talking rules is an expected side effect besides anxiety and reduced productivity.

If you want a talk show, hire talk masters.

If you want software development, hire software developers.

Don't confuse one with the other!

Soo I got my first email from a recruiter.. Subject: "Your Github profile " + accountname (of an account that i renamed 5 months ago which now gives a 404 btw). I'm 15 and my github profile doesnt have the "avaible for hive" Option checked. why exactly do you want to hire me again?

I'm losing faith in my future right now!
I'm dying working for my current employer (read my last two rants) but no one wants to hire me and I'm not sure whether it's my skills, little experience or only halftime availability until I finish studies!
Also, while I'm at it, there are second to none game dev workplaces here, in Poznań (and working as a game dev is a dream <3).

Best boss ?
Well, on Friday we learned our business was shutting down, bankruptcy.
Other new recruits have had a 10 days notice. My boss had me a 30 days notice instead, and have been fighting day and night since then to find a new investor to buy our solution and hire the team with it, comforting me that I will be part of that team.
Feelsgood to have a boss having your back :-)

(see previous rants for more)

Ayy. It's time. Someone wants to hire me to make a site for them...

How much do I charge? 😭. They also said they want it as an exclusive design that I can't do for anyone else. It's one of my first proper ones so its basically my baby

But yeah. How much is appropriate?
Do bare in mind that I'm broke af 😂. Suggestions in GBP please

So people are getting new jobs left and right, and there are several others looking for new jobs including me...

Well... now the CIO is following people around the office and watching them walk to their car and stuff. To me this just makes the situation worse.

If he's so worries about people leaving then why doesn't he hire people instead of trying drive everyone out?

Hey ya'll, I was wondering if you could give me a career advice. I'm a front end dev with about 3 yrs of experience, and would like to do more cloud architecture/devops. How would I go about it, considering that I've only used aws, gcp, and azure for my hobby/side projects? Should i get certified? Who would hire me?

I'd really appreciate any advice/tip!

Interview: "We provide on going training for all our developers."

After hire:

do
{
// lie to employee
Console.WriteLine("We'll have to schedule some training for you.");

// wait 30 days
System.Threading.Thread.Sleep(2592000000);
}
while (IsEmployeeStillWorkingHere())

Learning Facebook advertising is a science in itself, fFucking complicated as fuck and i am thinking to hire a marketing agency dedicated to handle this fking bullshit for me, its about mobile android/ios games, what do u guys think?..... How much money would that require to pay them?

So at work, I was trying to convince a senior programmer to adopt Golang for a new project that would need to handle large amount of throughput as oppose to Django with gunicorn and other optimizations (which is what we usually do).

The response was "we'd have a hard maintaining it, as no one really knows Go and it will be hard to hire people with Go knowledge".

So my question: "in your opinion, is that a good reason?" I have some go experience from other jobs, it seems like a superior solution for this problem.

So I finally got to do something IT-related, searched for a small income besides BAFöG. Found a support place at an IT-security business. The interviewer asked me some basics about some encryption related stuff and because I knew what a DNS lookup is, I am the second best candidate from a dozen (the other one is studying IT) for the job (they want to hire 4) according to him, and he already turned down a M.Sci. who knew everything about different protocols but didnt know what a DNS look up is.

*happy about becoming a cog in the IT-machine*

A.I. Hacker. :P
Some big corps will hire me to hack the AI systems.

Option B: beach bum for life. And enjoy the low stress.

I decide to study Data Science the last 10 months, right now im very competent and have the skills get hands on real projects.

a few months ago i meet a guy on LinkedIn, i help him with some task for some stuff he was doing.

a few weeks ago he say he will hire me for work on an startup he is running with other guys.

after that he never get back to me and not get any response to my messages. i dont know what i do wrong.

now im here feeling cold and dont even know what todo for get some remote work as data scientist.

feels bad bruh :"( give me some directions, where to look for Remote Junior Data Scientist Job?

"Do you consider to further study? I believe that you will have future if you have PhD, as it is our company policy that every candidate must have for this position.". (I was applying for full stack android developer with 6years experience)

"Any application you created which is in market and popular currently? If no, why should we hire you?" (Same thing , iOS and Android dev)

Level 1 support moron dishing out bad instructions from his flowchart.

Wanted me to edit config files for a production setup, which would've killed shipping for all stations, in the middle of our shipping rush.

Fixed the problem while in the escalation queue for level 2. L2 confirms the fix, and bemoans the shit documentation L1 provided.

If its a business class (mission critical) system, hire decent support staff! You might try testing people for reading/listening comprehension, and then paying them a decent wage! This isn't good for my blood pressure...

I have a friend who started a company and I asked them for a job. He said he would intern me first before coming on as contractor.

He said he'd call me on Friday. I need this job so bad, he better hire me.

junior dev looking at requirements for first job:
"We want to hire someone fresh out of college but they need to of started working at the age of 14."

Rejected again.

From 4 companies who were interested to hire me I'm now down to 1 who I'm still waiting for an answer after technical interview was done.

Im at loss of fucking words.

Job Interviews and technical tests...
Why when interviewing for full stack Angular(typescript ) / C# do they expect devs to be as good at C# as a 100% dedicated C# dev.

Why do they expect them to be as good as a 100% dedicated jQuery/pure javascript dev when 50% of the job is for Angular/typescript. WTF?

Full stack devs typically are constantly jumping around between tech stacks so they're always "working it out"

You hire a generalist because you want a generalist. Don't interview and test them like they're 2 specialists combined into 1.

Being in a situation at work where 50% of my time I can work on really exciting new Laravel projects where I got free hands on everything technical. Enjoying this very much. The other 50% is fixing existing broken wordpress sites with like 5 billion plugins. Want to shoot my fucking head off doing this shit, need to convince my boss to hire someone else just for the wp shit

That one client wanted to hire me and a friend for a small 2 month C# school project basically reformatting and redistributing incoming forms. In the last meeting before we were supposed to start the project he told us that it was supposed to be a sharepoint thingy.
We declined as we never worked with sharepoint, not to mention the Clients indecisiveness​ regarding what he wanted.
The ridiculous part was really that a lot had already been set in stone and we had to find another contract in 3 days time.

Why employers strongly believe Front-End and Back-End are synonyms of Full-Stack?
They are requiring Front devs to have knowledge and experience with relational databases and Back devs to be experts in HTML and CSS, sometimes graphic design stuff too.
For God's sake just hire a Full-stack Dev

When asked if i will code for stock options or profit shares, i might remind the prospect that in most countries, i would own the entire codebase if working for no pay. Most work for hire agreements put ownership of the system and code into the paying clients name, as i understand it. so if youre not collecting pay, you would own (possibly the only copy of) the code. If that doesnt scare the client away, maybe i should remind them id be legally allowed to sell the code to their competitors. Then do so if i see a bettrr paying client (i.e. any paying client) If anyone knows if im making legal sense id appreciate it.

Not something that's happening. Just remembered a debate I had with a coworker from a long time ago regarding hiring and diversity.

Assuming there are two candidates.

Objectively one is slightly worse than the other (let's say 10%)

but the objectively better candidate is more of the same as your team (In terms of stack, gender, ethnicity)

Obviously if one is a lot better (say 30%) I'd hire the one that scores higher.

However, in this scenario (~10%). I think I'd hire the person that offers a different perspective even though they may be less talented.

My reasoning is the team needs someone that thinks differently and looks at a problem from a different box. Otherwise it becomes too easy for my team to go down a path that we like but isn't necessarily better.

What say you?

I'm still a student, I'm attending my second year of university. Today I got what I could call a job offer. But tbh I'm not sure about that. The company that should hire me doesn't exist yet and I will work as a part-time employee until I finish the university. Idk I feel like I'm not suited for the job (I will work as Web Dev), like I'm not good enough even for a job that still doesn't exist. Yeah I'm shit